All I've got, /tg/.

>>41519516
I got one from my vacation in Germany

>I was touring Germany, and I was in Berlin killing some time before my flight back
>So I'm sitting at some cheap cafe-thing by Zoologischer Garten having some cofee
>and some bloke sits down in front of me looking side to side nervously
>He was slightly pudgy, not really fat, and had a pair of aviator shades and a suitcase
>I'm not really sure if he's a nutter or a hobo or whatever, so I just ignore him
>after a minute or two he speaks
>"Have you found out where the target is?" (in German of course)
>I reply in my somewhat broken German "Yes, we have confirmed that he's currently in Leipzig travelling to Weimar"
>I don't know why I said anything, I just spewed some bullshit
>"He has a reservation at hotel Elephant, he'll arrive in a few hours"
>He nods solemnly and mutters "Danke" before walking away

The whole thing took like 2 minutes, he was probably just some loonie and I should have just ignored him

Happened a year or two ago
>Walking by the train station
>huge new building with mirror glass
>Some hobo is busting some sweet moves in front of that
>Not really dancing tho, just making random gestures, like chasing flies away
>Must be drunk as fuck
>Have to walk past him
>no smell of alcohol or smoke
>Suddenly stops moving and speaks to me
>"Look man, LOOK! Can you see her?"
>amused, I look at the glass
>I seem yself and the crazy hobo
>Sounds normal
>"LOOK AT HER! LOOK!"
>Ok Gandalf, you can stop no-
>Looking closely, I can see another silhouette
>Wtf
>It indeed looks like a woman
>"SHE EXTENDS HER HAND TO ANOTHER WORLD, BUT I CAN'T FIND THE BREACH"
>Gandalf goes back to Billie Jeaning while I go on my merry way


Turns out the glass is kinda transparent and that there was a poster for some bottled water. If you looked closely, you could actually see a girl offering you a bottle.

>>41520206
the water is life

> Be at friend's birthday party, booked out a bar in a town near where I live.
> End of the night, standing outside waiting for a taxi
> This old gypsy-looking lady walks up to me
> Without speaking, pulls out a single rose from under her shawl and offers it to me
> I assume she wants money, but all I've got left is to pay for the taxi, so I decline as politely as I can in my rather-drunk state
> She says nothing and walks away.

And that's how I got my gypsy curse.

>>41520321
I heard something like this, except if you do take it they force a bracelet onto you and then demand to be paid for it.

>>41519516
Who the hell is Gropey?

>>41521222
Gypsy LARPer, historian (think he has a degree actually), masochist & resident tripfag.

>>41521222
>Not knowing gropey the clown, tortured soul of /tg/

>>41521287
We don't do boastful namefags around here.

>Go to sex club.
>Really hot guy starts following me around, giving me signals he's dtf
>Close the deal, take him to some place secluded in the club for the smashing about to be undertaken.
>About halfway through fucking this guy, he starts calling me daddy. Not my thing, but what gets you off gets you off.
>Voice starts getting super high pitched, and it's then that I realize he's talking to me in baby talk
>I'm positive this guy's older than me by at least five years, adds onto the wtf factor.
>Starts talking about how momma is gonna be mad when she finds out I fucked her precious little boy, teacher's gonna wonder why he's walking so funny.
>Completely freaked out. Wanna get off this crazy train but the conductor keeps spamming me back every time I try to get off at the station.

And that's how I got raped by some dude with an infantilism fetish.

>Walking alone at night
>About to cross a road
>Stepping out into a bus lane
>Get tackled onto the side walk as a guy in a van mounts the curb and nearly hits me
>Holds down on his horn as he drives off
>Guy who tackled me is twice my size and built like a space marine
>Dressed in all black with bright white joggers
>Stunned and get up as he walks away
>Try to follow him
>He disappears around a corner
>Look around but he just vanished

>Walking home from work about a week later
>Three Aboriginal guys corner me against a wall
>Think I'm going to be bottled/raped/robbed/killed or all four in any possible combination
>Out of no where the same guy appears and yanks one back by his hair, then locks his arm, turns and hurls him a good 4m on to the road
>Punches one in the gut and throws him over his shoulder
>Grapples the other, lifts him up above his head and slams into the ground
>Most sickening thud I'd ever heard
>In a voice so deep I'd swear it was modulated, asks if I'm ok
>Tells me to have a good night and be careful
>Fumbles his words like he's nervous
>Gives me an awakward wave and takes off at a jog that would beat my dead sprint
>Have to explain it all to the police as all 3 need a trip to the hospital

>Months pass with nothing happening
>At a house party
>Drinking a bit too much
>Someone makes a rude comment
>Make one in return
>He pushes me and I nearly land in the bonfire
>People stop me but I trip and land facefirst in some guy's crotch
>Recover and pull myself up
>Hear people yelling
>A head towering above the crowd is there
>Hear another sickening thud
>Break my way through the crowd
>The guy who pushed me is crying and moaning on the ground
>Med students look us both over
>Suspect a concussion for me and bruised ribs from him
>Ask around about who brought the tall guy who seems to have vanished
>Only tall guys at the party were hungry skeletons

So, time traveller coming back to save me from dying and altering the timeline?

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>>41521653
that or he's the r9k equivalent of batman
"thanks for saving me"
"y-you too"

>>41521609
>raped
>you willing entered into sexual activity at a sex club you willingly went to

No.

>>41521609
"Dat boipussy 2 gud 2 miss" is not rape.

>Get off of work at 10 PM
>Get to the car
>Woman comes up to me
>Asks if I can give her a ride to the hospital
>Says her father had a heart attack and she hasn't had a car in quite some time.
>I'm optimistic, but not a fool, so I ask to check her purse for any weapons.
>None found, I take her to the hospital.
>On the way back, I run over a nail and my tire pops.
Fucking fey.

>>41521960
Nails are iron, couldn't have been fey

>>41521880
>>41521907
It sounds like he was trying to leave at the end but the guy wouldn't let him so yeah. That was rape.

>>41522043
That's true, what could it be then to enjoy those "no good deed" scenarios.

>>41522083
vengeful ghost? Immigrant Oni?

>>41522114
Maybe a hitchhiker ghost?

>>41521281
Why would you want to LARP as a gypsy?

>>41519516
>ride a train to visit relatives, to the middle of nowhere
>sleep through most of the way
>at my stop notice weedy 2 grannies, well over 70, in full biking gear - gloves, bike shirts and all - struggling to get a bike out of the wagon
>offer to lent them a hand, get it to the platform, then the other bike
>"Oh, thank ye, boy!" (I'm in early 30's)
>"No problem."
>Start walking away.
>Something zips around me.
>Grannies pedal to the horizon at the speed that would put Tour De France participants to shame
>Pull my mobile, schedule myself more jogging.
>I've been visited by the spirits of cardio.

>>41522226
No no no. He's ethnicly Roma. He's also an IRL circus performer and possible champion of Slaanesh.

>>41522134
Could be. Probably a solid bet.

Or it could be a Coyote spirit or The Monkey King wandering around for shits and giggles.

>>41522296
Whatever it was, that shit's obnoxious yo.

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>>41522345

>over at friends's house with about 6-7 friends
>drinking, hanging out
>don't remember what happens, but I decide to trick some of them by vanishing all of a sudden to fuck with them
>casually standing around in the loungeroom, one of the walks into the kitchen for a moment
>leap out the window, sprint around the side of the house, jump onto the fence and up onto the roof
>crouch in the corner
>wearing full black with black hoodie, hood up, full moon but otherwise no light
>try to think of stage 3 of this plan
>a couple of teenage girls walk past talking
>one of them notices me, makes eye contact, stop talking suddenly
>the other one looks at her, then looks at me
>they falter for a moment, then just walk off really fast
>hear one of them go "what the fuck" really loudly 10 metres down the sidewalk
>get down off roof and walk inside
>no-one had noticed my sudden departure, or the fact that I just walked in the front door
>sit down and have a drink feeling silly

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>>41522369

>>41522383
I don think your "friends" really like you if they didn't notice anon. Probably because you're the sort of weirdo who does that kind of shit.

>>41522654
everyone was really fucking drunk, I'm surprised I was able to even get out of the window let alone get onto the roof

>>41522235
Man I have some pretty mundane shit like that, I bike every day 20km to work and the only bikers faster than me are old as shit.

Still on old people topic
>in the tramway
>alone in the wagon
>short, sleeveless tshirt because scortching hot summer
>old woman in a wheelchair enters
>without needing any help
>full sport gear
>looks tough as fuck but doesn't seem to have lots of muscles even in the arms
>Jacques Brel blasting in hearphones so loud the whole tramway can hear it
>gets out at the third or fourth stop after
>she says "you don't look weak boy, keep it up"
>I see her racing on the sidewalk with her wheelchair before the tram turns

2005, Al-Dora Power Plant, Southern Baghdad. I am a 27 year old Sergeant in the US Army. I am at the main entrance bunker on guard duty, late afternoon. Still hot as fuck. An Iraqi street sweeper, wearing a bright orange jump suit denoting his trade walks up to us and is pointing at a nearby bridge that goes over 4 sets of train tracks about 200 meters away.

"Mister there is boom" he gestures toward the bridge.

A US Military Police platoon is leaving the adjacent Iraqi Police precinct compound. I wave them over as the they likely have an interpreter with them. They do and the 'terp talks briefly with the street sweeper cofirming he found a bomb whilst street sweeping.

The MPs call in for a Explosive Ordnance Disposal team from Forward Operating Base Falcon. A Navy EOD team comes in and uses their Talon 2 robot to find an Improvised Expolsive Device. of two 155mm HE artillery shells rigged to a positive and negative command wire. When the circuit is complete, boom. That means someone was likely watching. They blow it in place. The explosion is fucking huge.

We never see that street sweeper again. I sometimes wonder if he was pressured by ba'athists or jihadists to plant the bomb but didn't want any one to get hurt. Or maybe he was legit. r

He could have gotten himself killed just seen talking to us.

>>41520112
You probably are responsible for him killing a guy. Good going Anon.

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>>41521810
>he's the r9k equivalent of batman
>"thanks for saving me"
>"y-you too"


I'm totalling going to steal this for my next gurps session

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>on my way come from a trip out of town
>good visit, lots of cool things happened, feeling pretty good
>on the final stretch of the trip, taking a bus from the station, around 11:00 at night
>guy in sweet jacket gets onto the bus
>glance at him for a fraction of a second because I guess visual stimuli.
>'Why are you looking at me?'
>have no real answer, as it brought me out of the travel-based trance I was in
>"I'm not."
>'Yeah, well you'd better hope it stays that way.'
>Takes a seat further back on the bus
>scared shitless for my life for the next three stops
>he then immediately rushes off at a stop he didn't request, pushing past a couple of folks trying to get on, then runs up the centre lane of the road into the night
>mfw

>>41525110
>on my way come
Way home, fuck me.

>>41519516
I met a german soldier called funky kaiser during the nijmegen marches. does that count?

>Flashback to a few years ago
>attend a week long music festival with the family
>multiple stages in every direction, music playing all day every day without stop
>crowds of people amassed and entranced by their genres of choice

>Day One
>mucking about, just sort of walking around the farthest outskirts of the fest
>whole place is full of hippies and the entirety of the grounds smells like pot
>hippies offer to smoke pot with me, to which I accept
>introduce myself and get friendly with them
>"Hey anon, you down for a game of Magic:the Gathering™?"
>of course hippies play magic
>have a blast with them for the remainder of the day

>Day Two
>venture into the thick of it
>see strange and wonderous works of artifice like a dune buggy made of lights
>come across a woman soldering something, I'm into electrical so I'm interested
>Hi there, what's that you're working on?
>"Working on a blacklight LED strand, just about done."
>I'll give you $20 for it.
>"Alright."
>BARTER: +2
>find a place to sit away from all these fucking people
>holy these lights are like 20ft long
>won't fit in my pockets
>I'll just wrap it around my arm
>it's getting dark so decide to go back to my tent
>all the hippies are staring at me in fascination
>retire for the night

(1/2)

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(2/2)
>>41526307
>DAWN_OF_THE_THIRD_DAY.flac
>walking around in a foxhead hat with those LEDs still on
>lots of music and I haven't actually attended any performance
>make it a point to attend every concerte for a few minutes
>so many bands playing that I can't watch every show to the end so my apperances are breif
>show up at 100 fucking shows holy shit all this music
>all these hippies notice me
>every where I go someone enthusiastically says "WASSUP MAN!"
>its like 10pm
>bump into the hippie from day 1
>tells me that there is a drum circle and a ton of people are there
>decide to turn check it out
>before I enter the drum circle I'm met by cowboy with the maxed out charisma
>dude gives me his boots because I look like a swell guy
>put them on throw away my shoes and hop in the circle
>am treated like the stranger king by these fucking tribals
>dance nonstop until 8am, by this time I'm fucking drenched in sweat from head to toe
>everyone is all sweaty
>LEDs are still on and reflecting on everyone and everything
>hippies admired me the whole night, entranced and awestruck
>every day for the rest of the week I am only refered to as 'The Man with the Arm On Fire'
>these people kept bestowing gifts upon me
>fucking shit all this stuff I'm over encumbered
>start giving random odds and ends I've aqcuired to people througout the week
>everyone thinks I'm an even more swell guy and everyone knows who I am

And that's how I accidently started a cult. Now I can sort of empathize with crazed cult leaders, these god damned people wouldn't leave me alone.

>>41521605
"I've only been here a month"

>Walking to university.
>Some guy approaches, claims he's homeless despite wearing immaculate clothing and appearing well-fed, life is hard, need money for a ride home.
>Give him a pound and some tic-tacs.
>He looks solemnly at my offering, then says, "Tell you what mate, I'll give you back these tic-tacs, but what I really need is £25"
>No
>"Well could you go get it?"
>No, walk away
>At least I kept my tic-tacs.

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>>41526808

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When I was a senior in high school, I would take regular walks through the woods in the middle of the night, alone. I was one of those kids.

Now, these woods had odd things in them- Rusted out old cars, strange bits of carved wood, and what I can only describe as a hobo altar. (pic related). For the most part, it was only ever stuff people left behind, and everything was pretty quiet.

This night was different. While I was tromping around, I started noticing firelight coming through the trees and voices chanting in a language I couldn't place. Not wanting to get into a fight with a bunch of meth-addled hobos, I snuck up to the clearing they were in and peeked in from behind a tree.

Well, it wasn't hobos. It was a bunch of half-naked people wearing body paint and honest-to-god animal skins. Unsurprisingly, they were dancing around a bonfire while doing their chant.

(cont)

>>41528234
The surprising bit was that I recognized one of the girls. I'd had a huge crush on her at the time. Well, here she was- Topless, wearing red paint in swirly pseudo-celtic patterns, and had what I thought was a lynx pelt over her shoulders. Hollering along just like the rest of them.

I'd like to say that I stepped out and wound up being initiated into whatever crazy old-gods worshipping cult they were in and that I killed a bear with my hands and my crush and I had many strong children to continue our fine barbarian ways, but I wasn't that sort of kid. I just mouthed 'what the fuck' to myself, gawked (partially because weird ritual, partly because topless highschool crush), and then left.

I swear she and I made eye contact at one point, if only very briefly. She never said anything about it, and I never asked, but I never found them in the woods again.

>>41528234
>>41528253

Random encounters that never happened except in your mind anon.

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>be me
>be in Kirkuk, Iraq
>be sometime around dusk
>suddenly 5 men run past my squad screaming their brains out, don't respond to orders and don't stop
>shrug it off
>20 seconds later another dude, stripped to a loincloth, wielding a cricket paddle sprints into the area yelling
>later told he was saying something like "death to men who lay with another woman's wife, it is forbidden (by the Quran)!" but all I heard was "death to" and "haram" so we were all pumped up and ready for anything
>he runs right past us
>less than a minute later the five guys who ran past us earlier show up again
>then half-naked cricket pro shows up and begins beating the everloving shit out of the other five guys
>like a goddamn hero of legend, just wailing on these five guys like it ain't no thing
>finishes, cricket bat is wrecked, five guys are wrecked
>he turns to stare at us. we stare at him
>everyone nods respectfully
>he walks off into the night
>we radio for medics for the five guys who got haram'd

>>41529845
>Brian Williams was there

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>with my group adventuring through downtown LA at 1am
>a traveling merchant approaches us trying to sell his wares
>my experience has taught me that traveling merchants often have hard to obtain items
>traveling melanin enriched fellow "acquired" a very expensive jacket from a Nordstroms in Santa Monica
>tells me he'll sell it at a good price
>trade the skooma using merchant 20 gold for the 150 gold jacket

>Walking through woods
>Snake bites leg
>Barely gets through pants
>Overreact and punch snake directly into the ground
>Break it's spine
>Snake half writhing in panic and pain
>Adrenaline instantly disappears and guilt sets in
>Mercy kill it and spend rest of day making a raft out of sticks and twine
>Give it a viking funeral into the swamp
I still feel bad because it was probably just scared, but on the other hand the rules of nature are pretty clear that if you bite something it has the right to kill you.

There was also the time me and some friends got lost in detroit at 3am on halloween and I was wandering around shirtless wearing a gasmask, fairy wings, and two bandoleers of energy drinks. Silently handing them to anyone we found and then disappearing into the night.
But that probably counts as someone else's encounter not mine.

>>41529845
This floored me.

>>41529845
>be me
No shit. So fucking inane.

>Early 90's
>Riding my bike with some friends
>We're in an area a few blocks away from our neighborhood that the city had started to develop
>laid down streets and deforested the lots, put down a few foundations and then abandoned the area
>Everything is overgrown, great hangout spot
>So just riding around after school, enjoying the freedom before internet sucked out all our souls
>Suddenly hear "HEY COCKSUCKERS!"
>Sounds like a parrot
>Look around
>There's a guy in a pristine grey business suit wearing 80's wrap around sunglasses and holding one of those rainmaker sticks with a parrot riding his shoulder
>No cars anywhere to be seen
>Where the fuck did he come from?!
>He's walking towards us
>Not saying a fucking thing, just a big creepy smile
>We got the fuck out of there
>Never saw him again

Gropey doesn't namefag that often. Generally only when he is in one of these kinds of threads, or he has a particularly relevant life experience to share.

I find his stories fucking hilarious, and a part of me likes having a name to link them together, rather than just a scatter of random anon stories.

>>41529845

Ah, war stories. Some of the funniest and most depressing tales come from them.

>>41530432
Yeah I have a ton of them, but this thread is specifically about real world random encounters. This is still the single most random encounter I've ever had in my life.

Those of us who were there refer to the dude as "Batman."

>>41529957
"I got ripped off by a bootleg clothing salesman" is a random encounter now?

>>41524719
If anything, he saved a man's life. He didn't give the guy a name or description, so he probably already had somebody in mind.

Tales from the Melbourne Tram
1/2
>guy with a t-shirt with an ss troop and a map of occupied poland on it with the words 'Good Job Boys, Keep Up the Work.' and dried blood on his face walks up to me.
>remain quiet and avoid eye contact, for this man has probably killed someone.
>goes on a boomhauer-esque rant vaguely about stabbing aboriginies and muh german ancestry, then suddenly leaves.
>end ride fearing for life.

2/2
>Crazy hobo espouses interesting theories.
>Claims the gays are/have turned all of Australian males into pedophiles.
>'That's 12 Million SICK FARKS!'
>'Ancient Egyptians got wiped out because they became sexually attracted to fucking shit. I am not making this up."
>Try to stifle laughter so as to avoid revealing myself as the gay illuminati.

> Be 11 years old
> Walking with my friends
> See a grannie siting in front of a house
> We look at her
> She look at us and says: "Why are you running ?"
> Wtf.jpg
> Friend says: "We are not running."
> Grannie pull a knife from her bag and point it at us
> "Now you are!"
> Get the fuck out there

>>41531178
The ol' knife-from-my-bag-now-you-are. Kids ALWAYS fall for it.

>>41530026
>rules of nature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0

>be 13.
>waiting for bus to return home and shitpost on pre-4chan forums.
>an old lady asks me in what grade I am.
>uh what?
>tells her I'm in 3rd.
>you're too little for your age, you must eat eggs three times a day, go see a therapist and visit Lourdes holy city to swim in the pool.
>aight
>get in bus and forget about it

>be 16
>in lycee, carnival day
>one guy is not disguised, he's an adult so I assume he's school staff
>start spewing hobo bullshit
"they're keeping her trapped here with only half a life, I'm going to wreck the place and liberate her"
>friends are scared shitless, I'm in a roleplaying mood since I'm in a costume.
"ay, they be not intrested' in the life of dorfs. I do not like'em either. but tell me from what land are you stranger."
I don't remember the full exchange but basically he ended up calming down, my friends got actual staff to get there and the hobo had to leave, he insulted "the administration vampires" and asked me to tell them he was sane. I got questionned by staff after that.

>>41519516
Shit seen on the TTC.
>Get on bus in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday.
>Girl walks on wearing nothing but police caution tape.
>Sits down, gets off 4 stops later.

>Subway car stops at station and doesn't pull out.
>Realize that it is because an old lady is walking through the car shouting at each person in turn
>Language is eastern european, or really drunk english with a thick european accent.
>She gets to me before the cops arrive to take her away.
>Not sure if given gypsy curse.

>on subway middle of the day.
>suddenly half the people take off their pants.
>My stop is the next on, so I get off.

and more than one instance of someone breaking out music and people starting to dance.

Damn I miss that city.

War stories now? Cool, except I saw a grand total of 48 hours away from the yard, so not really a combat story.
>innaAfghanistan
>sitting in the yard at night
>fixing radios and scrubbing brake disks
>realise everyone else has wandered off
>see a guy walk past in his briefs
>just bumbling around
>try to get his attention
>just turns and looks in my direction with glazed over eyes
>turns and stumbles off again
>grinder fails
>break it down to look for a fault
>hear a low hum above me
>start to look up
>huge spark from the grinder
>look up
>can't see any stars
>humming gets louder
>deafening
>grab muffs and move towards storage
>painfully loud now
>suddenly it stops
>grinder is working just fine
>stars are all back

Could be aliums, could be a combination of three days without sleep, stress and the onset of dehydration.

>>41520112
He was a local who knew a tourist when he saw one.
He was fucking with you.

>>41531168

Sounds like the 86, right as you pass the Safeway on Smith Street to me. Fuck that tram.

>>41532742
First was on a citybound 19, second was a outbound 11.

>>41532408
I'm thinking the briefs guy might have been Nyarlarthotep.

>>41531245
Kid's HATE this grandma, learn her secret.

>>41519841
>No having the other pastas

For shame anon. Though to be fair they are rather rare and I don't have them either despite some of them being fucking amazing. Like say the one about the GM turned PC when drunk or the unfortunate two or three anons who ran into group of irl PCs and got dragged along for the ride for a time. I really wish someone had kept a hold of the first story about that group of PC's involving the nun, guy in a suit, gangster, and a dragqueen. I would of LOVED to have been able to read the first part damn it...

>>41533216

Did you mean >>41522386 ?

>ready for work at 06.00
>grab my bike and head off
>dark as fuck out and driving through a rural setting
>know there's a medieval-fair somewhere around here
>pass by the busstop, three guys wearing full plate mail
>stop, "Good sirs I must regretfully inform you that the mechanical horse carriage does not come for another two hours!"
>they turn as one, saying nothing
>get intimidated, "Okay.. bye guys"
>they simply stare at me all the way till I'm most likely out of sight

Weird fuckers..

>>41521605
The fuck you talking about? Gropey is brotier.

>>41525549
Only if he looked like Bismarck with sunglasses

>Summer time.
>Live in Mississippi.
>Eating at restaurant after work.
>Eat food, pay, leave.
>Go outside.
>There's a kangaroo near my car.
>Why the fuck is there a kangaroo here?.
>It fucks up my side mirrors.
>Not knowing what to do or think, I go inside.
>Ask the waitress if its common for a kangaroo to be around here.
>She goes out there, sees kangaroo.
>Its now in the middle of the parking lot.
>We have a moment of silence as neither of us know what to do.
>Get phone out, call animal control.
>By the time they arrive its gone.
>Call insurance company later, they don't believe me that a kangaroo fucked up my mirrors.
>Later see on the news that a kangaroo had escaped from the local zoo due to flooding.
>My car had no passenger side mirror until the day I set the engine on fire by overheating it

>>41526326
>every day for the rest of the week I am only refered to as 'The Man with the Arm On Fire'
incredible

>>41529647
Hey, disbelieve it if you want. Doesn't keep it from being true.

>>41521653
>Set up an elaborate candlelit Lady and the Tramp style dinner in a sketchy alleyway.
>Wait for someone to try to kill/rape/mug you
>Be saved
>Ask your stalker savior to dinner

They sound nice.

>be me
>first time hiking alone, took my dog though
>getting a bit tired, decide its time to take a breather
>sit down, give my dog some water, drink some water myself
>my dog lays down, she's pretty tired too
>take in the scenery
>notice someone coming up the trail
>dont care, still tired
>comes closer, realize he has a bow and quiver
>what the fuck
>he has full renaissance fair bullshit on
>he stops infront of me, asks if i can pet my 'hound', i say sure
>i dont notice that hes speaking in some sort of larpy accent
>my dog looks at me like she wants to die
>he kneels down and pets her
>"well then, you have a very beautiful hound. i must be off now, fare thee well!"
>i just nod and wave
>im pretty sure theres no renaissance fairs in the middle of a national park
>someone else is coming up the trail
>oh fuck no
>my dog whines
>its another one
>doesnt have a bow, but a sword
>i get up and start moving down the diverging path
>this fucks up my entire route
>after a bit of navigating figure out where i put myself
>decide its time to go home
>after a while of walking, see a white tent, the old fashioned type thats pretty roomy
>i just keep on going further down the path
>some fucking girl comes out of the tent dressed in the medieval garb shtick
>please no
>"hail adventurer! how are you this fine evening?"
>my dog is trying to pull me down the path, ignoring her
>i say fine, thank you, and keep going
>she fucking follows me
>"how did you find yourself on this side of the forest?"
>i swear to god
>'just taking a hike, is all'
>"a hike? whats that?"
>help me
>my dog turns around and starts barking at the woman
>shes startled
>see someone coming up behind her
>its the fuck with the sword
>"you should control your hound! such an unruly animal, i have the mind to dispatch it where it stands, barking at m'lady like it does!"
>his face is covered in terrible acne
>dog is fucking PISSED
>'oh, you know, she's uhh, she's just a bit nervous is all'
Cont.

>>41537933
>taking all my strength to hold my dog back
>decide to start pulling her away and back on the trail
>she gives up and just goes along with it
>hear "are you hurt m'lady?" and "oh, i'm fine m'lord, thank you for saving me from that dreaded beast!" as i walk away
>my dog turns around and lets out a few more barks
>yank her away again
>once out of sight of the larpers i begin to run
>i ran
>i ran so far away
>i get back to the parking lot, start to walk to my car
>oh look its another robin hood
>"hail, adventurer!"
>here we go again
>"i seem to have misplaced my messenger sparrow, might you lend me yours?"
>'what?'
>he sighs, makes a charade sign of dialing and putting a phone to his ear
>what the fuck
>'uh sure, here'
>give him my phone
>he calls someone, maintaining his fucking terrible larping english accent
>"ah yes, is this william? we await the carriage's arrival in a few hours, william, will you be here?"
>okay.jpg
>he gets off the phone and hands it back to me
>"many thanks my good friend"
>'no problem' i say, getting my dog into the car
>he's just fucking standing there looking at me
>get into car
>glance over at him, still staring
>i start the car and he moves out of the way, but continues to stare
>i get the fuck out of there

larpers are bad

For once I actually have a couple. Neither are very interesting, and both take place at the Pennsic war, a SCA event that's equal parts historical reenactment, LARP, open-air market, family camping trip, and burning man. I'd been camping there with my girlfriend and a few other friends.

The first encounter was at a Mardi Gras party, which is pretty much what you'd expect; lots of drinking and topless people dancing around campfires, beads being exchanged, etc. I'm not normally much of a drinker; I can hold my liquor fairly well, but I don't really enjoy the sensation of being drunk. Nor am I much of a partygoer - I've no problem with social interaction, but I don't dance or anything. But I'm having a good time at this party, doing what I must to get free shots (Including drinking one through a hollow dildo, and doing shot roulette), observing the various titties/dongs being flashed, and giving/receiving beads when I can. A couple hours in I'm happily buzzed, which I actually regret as a sober me might've capitalized on this situation more. The GF had taken a seat on a nearby bench, and I'd gone to refill our mugs, when I'm approached by an older woman (I'm guessing late 40s, MILF territory) in fairly revealing period costume. She asks what she can do to earn a string of beads. Now something I learned at this party is that I actually become a bit more of a gentleman while drunk, so rather than suggest anything I tell her that whatever she wants to offer would probably be fine. I'm expecting maybe a flashing or something, but she pulls me in for a kiss. Not a quick peck or anything, but some serious tongue work. This lasts a minute or so before I have to breathe again. I pull away, panting, and she compliments me on my technique. She then calls her husband (alarm bells going off) over and introduces me. I shake his hand and tell him his wife is lovely, when she asks two questions: did I come to the party alone, and was I doing anything that night.

>>41538270
I answered honestly; I had come with a lady friend and had no specific plans, but it was getting late and we were both getting tired so we were going to head back. I can't tell if they seemed disappointed, because the evening is a bit fuzzy around the edges, but in hindsight it was pretty obvious they wanted to swing with us - or at least me. Unfortunately my booze-addled brain actually turned them down, then proceeded to lose my own lady and wander back to our camp, taking a few offered shots of rum along the way.

The second encounter is much shorter and less interesting IMO, but still worth mentioning as it had some astronomical odds. My lady and I are walking around the marketplace later in the week when we decide to split up - she's an aspiring seamstress and wants to look at fabric, and I'm in the market for leatherworking stuff. So I wander into a stall to look at buckles when I get stopped by someone I don't recognize at first. Turns out it's someone who comes into the store where I work year-round - I don't know his name, but he knows mine cause I wear a nametag. Out of the 10,000+ people who were at the event, I just happen to run into someone who lives about a minute from where I work every day. This year we're planning on hanging out more.

bump

>>41533488
Ye be in the wrong kingdom, knave!

Thread theme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qvm3pU_hTK4

>>41538051
Larpers are Not that bad by and large, you hit some special assholes who don't break character while camping in a public place and seem amid some self important BS.

>first time at post apoc long after the fall zombie Larp
>in front parking lot of scout camp rented out for the event, along the mainosh mountain road, out of game and trying to make a phone call with a fluctuating between one and no bars of reception
>my first game kit, besides prop gear, is just some beat up normal clothes. Haven't even gotten it covered in any genre ( fake blood) yet.
>Shitty car speed around corner
>full of white bald teens or twenty somethings
>one throws a fucking rock at me
>one shouts, in a heavy Eastern European accent that I can't place any further because we're in fucking jersey "You Fags stop corrupting our kids!" As they speed by
>dodge stone, fall and eat gravel, miss catching plates
>the fuck just happened?

>>41525549
Saw some Ghurkas there... Short dudes with big knives!

>>41539255
Slavs. Angry Slavs. Angry Drunk (probably) Slavs.

>>41535033
Huh. Looks archive.moe. Or is that a Firefox plugin?

Not really a great encounter but whatever

>be 10
>camping out
>we were divided 6 ppl each group were 8 groups total
>nighttime we were supposed to sleep
>ask my groupies to go out and find a river
>all of them agrees
>slip past the councilors who patrol the are
>MGS MODE
>after 15 minutes of crawling and hinding in bushes we got past out on our camping area
>found a river 5 minutes later
>notice some noise in the rivers
>6 maybe more girls also swimming in the river
>one of my groupies scared cause it might be a ghost
>i decided to call them
>they screamed
>we screamed
>bats screamed
>birds flying everywhere
>we ran because what the hell
>after running aimlessly we all arrived at the cave
>see a giant size penis like shape
>on a fucking stone
>we were all convinced its the penis of a T-Rex
>we call it Rexie Screameater
>suddenly sleepines hits
fast forward
>morning
>wakes them all up
>when were about to go out
>girls.....again
>then scream
>we scream
>bats scream now more of them
>we literally just run because fuck it
>run again aimlessly until we arrived at the camp site just to announce the roll call of our superior
>we decided that we dont talk about that trippy adventure

and that is why i decided not to camp several times in my childhood

>>41533518
Gropey is a pompous faggot who lies about half the shit he does and exaggerates the rest.

>>41521222
A faggot.

>>41521609
im fucking howling haha

>>41540232
also i might have something about those LARP at my fucking backyard and also the worst thing i ever imagined

>be me
>on my house
>gone out to buy some snacks for my vidya gaems
>suddenly 3 guys grabbed me
>stripped me and then dressed me
>im a motherfucking princess with silver hair braids and donning a sparkling pink yet heavy gown
>they said that due to lacking female participants they have to kidnap a guy who fits in their requirements (which i might have)
>just said "What the fuck dude thi-
>one guy slapped me and said "princess the king is waiting in the throne room"
>dude im no pla-
>got slapped again "princess you must haste or your father will not be pleased"
>right now my face beets red
>just decided to play it for minutes
>giving the best girly impression i ever pulled out
>suddenly another ?king maybe an invader rushed and says "King Orthus thine kingdom of yours is now in shambles. Surrender and you'll be spared by your life"
>NEVER
>right now i just rolled my eyes in disbelief
>suddenly the ?invader grabbed me supposed that i will be kidnapped.....again
>he literally screamed "MY DAUGHTER"
>this ?invader supposed to be the good guy....bailed me out and retuned my clothes
>after i get dressed i noticed that my $50 is now gone
>gone home and just sleep it off

The only first and last time i only enter this autistic game

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>>41519516

>Closed restaurant for the evening.
>Boss decides to take staff out for supper, Korean BBQ gets picked however the only store opened till really late was in a rather seedy part of town.
>Decide to take a break due to me feeling rather tipsy from drink and i needed fresh air from the smoke.
>Streets are deserted, needed to check my phone so i stand under the only place with light, a streetlamp by a traffic light.
>Suddenly notice someone staring at me from a distance.
>Look up to see a rather mousy looking office lady approaching me hesitantly. Short, long hair tied in a bun, clothes slightly too big for someone of her size. A comely face but clearly older than me.
>Stops right in front me and whispers something.
>Can't hear(tipsy,tired and the height difference) so i ask her to repeat herself.
>She asks if i could take her home.
>Tell her that the nearest taxi stand is about 200 meters from here.
>An awkward silence for a moment.
>Finally understood what she meant, quickly apologize. Two blushing people in the cold predawn air.

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>Work at a bar, mostly do nights but get the occasional day shift.
>One such occasion, finished work and having beer
>Tallest dude I've seen IRL bursts through the back door, looking confused
>"You alright m8y?"
>He looks at me with eyes that have seen some shit
>"I thought this was the front door"
>Dude is clearly on something
>Hear a shout from inside
>It's_the_fuzz.gif
>He grabs a chair, throws it inside
>Screams "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE BANKSY"
>Leaps up half the stairs
>Runs away laughing maniacally
>Found out he was later arrested for breaking down some chicks front door
>To this day, I'm not sure if he is Bansky or not.
Pic Related, my reaction after the chair incident

>>41540630
>Pic Related, my reaction after the chair incident

You were aroused and had to hide it with a pillow?

>>41540665
Yes

>>41539822
Well fuck those specific young Slavs, what did I ever do to them?

>>41540452
Umm, what did she mean?

>>41521653
Gratz, you got a stalker

>>41540849
That she wanted the D

>>41540443
Those sound like assholes, not LARPers.

Major rule of most shit I've done, especially at Convention LARPS; don't be an asshole at non players.

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>>41540849
>>41540861

Won't be the first time i got mistaken for gigolo

Which is find amusing since my dress sense is considered boring.

>>41540949
Heres the question i am most curious about..Did you give her the D?

>>41540443
Insanest con I ever heard of

>Walking through the city on mother's day
>come across a girl in her twenties screaming for help while being handed at by a middle-aged and elderly woman.
> Break up fight and ask what the hell is going on
> Women are daughter, mother, grandmother respectively
> daughter ran away from rehab with her methhead boyfriend
> mother and grandmother find her and were literally trying to drag her back
> boyfriend vanished as soon as this started apparently
> suddenly two cop cars
> daughter's put in car
> give statement
> happy mother's day

>>41541035

No.

It got too awkward but i did walk her to the taxi stand. Then again i don't think it would be healthy to whore myself when i was 18 years old.

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>>41519516
>be on patrol
>middle of night
>talk to fellow soldier about scary shit
>suddenly something crackles in the bushes
>nearly shit myself, get into foight-platform, hand on weapon.
>its a bird
>we laugh at how spooked I was

meh... just me being a retard. nothing ever happens on patrol.

>>41520564
Confirmed.
Visited Rome once and an little Gypsy girl asked me for my hand. I thought it was neat so I gave it to her, and she wove a fucking bracelet around my wrist with blinding Gypsy speed. She demanded me to pay for it, and it was making a scene and shit, so I nervously gave her 10 euros.

Happened two weeks ago, amazed at how dense some people are

>riding pushbike along uni footpath during break
>see hamplanet walking a dog, a huskie
>poor thing is about bouncing off the floor its so excited
>ride past, think nothing more

>twenty minutes later, dropped off project
>woman is coming towards me
>as im about twenty meters away, dog slips its collar and bolts in the direction im heading
>whale has no chance of catching it, she was out of breath from walking during a (admittedly warm) mid-winter day
>i decide to do my good deed for the day
>catch up with animal fifty metres further down path
>jump from bike, catch animal, roll, tear the back out of my shirt
>poor thing just wanted a run, it was young, excitable, and starting to put on weight, presumably because whale never took it for a run
>while waiting for woman to catch up, check ear and back, the spots for microchips
>nothing there, and my dads a vet so i know how to check
>get harangued and abused for catching an unmarked animal
>when i point out the animal had no chip, she said i was cruel for suggesting it, and 'his collar has his name and number'
>the collar he just slipped
>collect my bike, tell her she was a cunt and unfit to own an animal, and ride off while giving her the finger as she screamed at me and tried to restrain her dog
>straya

I wonder if I should tell my stories.

/tg/ would never believe them.

> HURR DURR SHIT THAT NEVER HAPPENED LMAO XD

>>41541838
thats half the fun

>>41541838
Go for it mate, even if people don't believe you it's still good fun

>>41541701
>so I nervously gave her 10 euros
What a pussy.

>>41520206
>Warlock's backstory

>>41541838
Who cares if nobody believes you? Very literally not your problem unless you're hanging for approval.

>>41542043
and it only takes one faggot to say "didnt happen".
those of us who do believe dont say anything.

>>41520321
Could be worse, the curse on my dad included breast milk

>>41529845
>later told he was saying something like "death to men who lay with another woman's wife, it is forbidden (by the Quran)!"

Was he white-knighting for a lesbian couple?

>>41519516
Does this count?
>be gentleman of the black variety
>in unfamiliar city for job interview
>end up needing to park several blocks away and walk to interview
>afterwards when I'm walking back I notice a game shop so I step in and look around
>take note of location for future reference and leave
>there's a vape/smoke/definitely not bongs shop next door
>a few fellow fellows of African descent are standing around outside it
>they can tell from the colors I'm displaying that I'm from a different tribe
>they begin to question my reason for being there
>I very politely try to blow them off and retreat but they encircle me, apparently I've offended them by thinking I'm better than them or something
>two people had walked out of the game shop behind me and were watching this happen
>one is an unusually tall and well built asian wearing a pair of aviators and smoking a cigarette
>other is a slightly shorter white guy I can only describe as a redneck, wearing denim jeans, cowboy boots and an NRA hat
>white guy's voice sounds like Brock Samson off of venture brothers, he says "hey, he's with us" as they both approach
>the alpha negro begins to say something when the white guy reaches behind his back and is obviously reaching for a gun
>the pack decides to retreat, but not before hurling a few insults at me and the other two
>I tell them thanks, they both say no problem and start walking in the other direction
I didn't get that job btw.

>>41541788
For the deer.

>>41532461
Then the fact that he played along probably scored him points

>>41523404
>looks tough as fuck but doesn't seem to have lots of muscles even in the arms
That's just being old. "Fast-twitch" muscle mass is the frst to go

>>41539255
You didn't happen to be at Alpine Scout Camp did you?

>high school Junior
>have plan
>buy bulk flowers
>hang them upside down to dry in dark closet in basement
>hide them in locker
>bored at highschool
>walk out of class
>go to locker
>grab spare shirt
>T-Shirt Ninja.jpg
>take flowers
>wander the school
>give one flower to each member of faculty
>start walking into classrooms to give to teachers
>out of staff
>armload of flowers left
>start giving to random students
>avoid 8/10+
>only give to 4/10-6/10
>occasional 7/10
>give people I have crush on priority
>run out of flowers
>go back to locker
>put away spare shirt
>go to next class fifteen minutes late
>"anon where were you"
>"had to call my mom, make sure she landed alright. Out of state on business."
>"oh ok, be on time next time"
>nobody knew it was me

I should try to be a random encounter more often.

>>41537933
>dog doesn't like the first guy
>dog barks at the woman in white
>dog is full on aggressive at the third guy
Trust your dog m8

>>41542786
>nobody knew it was me
Bullshit, you didn't change the shirt you were wearing, you just wore your spare around your head.

>>41532408
>Could be aliums, could be a combination of three days without sleep, stress and the onset of dehydration.
And this is why the slogan is "Army Strong" and not "Army Smart"

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>>41543031
>Having the endurance to keep on going for three days outside the base with shitty food, minimal water, and an 80lb+ ruck, while still performing duties

>durrr army dumb! xD

>>41532123

Why did I know this was going to get posted when Anon said it?

>At a renfair
>Enter into arena
>About to have my turn
>See a guy dressed in Varangian armour with an axe
>Chased out of a tent by half-naked people with fake tails and wolf ears
>Screaming at him as they try to get dressed and follow him at the same time
>All the males line up
>They enter the arena
>He beats them all one by one
>Everyone is cheering for him
>Final guy comes up
>He naruto runs around with arena with dual fantasy daggers
>Gets pushed out of the ring and into the dirt with one hand
>He's declared the winner and is suddenly joined by two 8/10 girls in Byzantine dress
>They go out to the car park
>See them later
>Losers keyed his car
>He destroyed them all as they tried to gang up on him
>Leave as the huge Varangian guard examines the damage to his Mitsubishi Magna, while the two girls make out furiously on the other side
>The losers are hiding around a corner by a bush

>>41543243
>Not being able to differentiate by fatigue-induced hallucinations and aliens
I'm sure you were a PhD candidate before you went off to defend ur country :^)

>>41543667
>Could be aliums, could be a combination of three days without sleep, stress and the onset of dehydration

you do get that's a joke, right?

>>41531168
>stabbing aboriginies

He's doing God's work, anon

>>41543533
Damn there must be more to this

>>41542718
Camp Sacajawea

Home to the originating chapter of Dystopia Rising, and there are mothly Laire and Knight Realms games there as well.

And if my ex wife is to be believed, a ghost chicken that has been haunting the grounds since her girl scout days.

>>41519543
D'AWWW! rightinthefeels.jpg

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>>41543667
>Could be aliums, could be a combination of three days without sleep, stress and the onset of dehydration.

They're not the stupid ones if you can't figure out this is a joke.

>>41541701
Kidnap her and take her as your wife, its a gypsy rule.

>>41538270

Oh my god, like ten years ago at Gulf wars I had just turned 18 and this fat chick in her late 30s was hella hitting on me at this party I snuck into with the ole "I forgot my ID back at camp" routine and I was a drunk spergy virgin so I didn't know what to do, she ended up nibbling on my ear and telling me that her husband lets her sleep around at events and I didn't know what to do so I excused myself to the port-o-crapper and noped back to camp. Wonder if was the same person, she had ear length dark hair and was like 5'5"

>>41541701
Man I hate that shit, and not because of the con nature. Yeah sure, whatever, scam people. Dick move for sure, but not the worst. What fucking Pisses me off is they hold a damp grudge if you don't fall for their bullshit. If you'd just sacked up and threw the bracelet back at her and told her to fuck off, every Gypsy in the city would be out for your blood. I wouldn't give a shit if the reaction was just "Eh, ya got me", and they leave. They have to take it fucking personal you won't let them get away with scamming you.

>>41540443
>tfw you will never be forcibly dressed like a princess and gangbanged by burly larpers who don't break character the whole time

Why live

>>41541701

Never touch a Gipsy

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Shadowrunner goes camping!

>>41542572
Race issues, rednecks, games, guns, and thwarted violence. Yeah, I'd say that counts.

>>41541701
Ahh the ol' "Gypsy handcuff" bracelet trick
An ironic name because in some places handcuffs are known as "Gypsy bracelets"

>>41532461
It's really easy to identify foreigners in Germany as soon as they open their mouth.
The German Accent is hard to aquire.

>>41544167
>White nationalist
>Gets the only non whiny girl
>Has the obligatory jap friend
That is more of a signal that this is fantasy than the fucking wendigo

>>41544028

That's what we call a 'cultural difference'.
As far as the rules go, being dumb enough to have it put on you means you gotta pay.
If it helps, Roma Gypsies uses Fey logic.

>we have Gipsy neighbors
>nice enough people, they're here for about half the year, the other they go about Europe
>When they're here they party loudly, we're always invited and they don't skimp on the booze or food, but it's not my kind of thing
>selling the apartment
>differnet Gypsies show up to buy it
>"Oh, clan [X] owns the apartment bellow? Well, I'm afraid we can't buy it then. If we did, we'd have to give it to them, or kill them!"

>>41543967

There are all sorts of deviants at SCA events. Mostly unattractive too. Had some fat belly dancer hitting on me at the last event I went to. Nope. Every hot chick I have seen at an SCA event came with a dude.

>>41542501
No. Those dudes were fucking his wife or were trying to. Thats how I read it anyway.

>>41543967
I don't think it's the same person, or if it is she lost a lot of weight in the interim. She was the right height and hair color IIRC, but wasn't fat at all (at least not any more than you'd expect a 40-something to be.)

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>>41541660
>all those tumblr noses

>>41541701
when I visited rome the same thing happened to my uncle except he rolled his eyes in the back of his head and started growling/screeching this awful noise that sounded half like a gorilla and half like a goat being sacrificed. the gypsy girl got freak the fuck out and ran away and everyone avoided us for the rest of the trip

uncle phillip is a little weird even by /tg/ standards. my dad is too nice and wants include him in everything despite of it.

Had this weird little thing happen to me on vacation and I still don't understand it.

>solo hiking in Northern Iceland
>be in the middle of nowhere about to set up my tent
>suddenly in the distance this huge pick up truck appears and comes towards me
>the back of the truck is filled with Husky's who start circling me.
>Big ass Icelandic dude steps outs, dressed with a fur coat huge beard and long hair, pretty much a viking.
>he walks towards me, towers a full head above while I am 6.2 myself.
>he speaks something in Icelandic in a intimidating tone
>Say I don't understand him.
>"oh, you're just a tourist. You better camp somewhere else or you'll make the trolls angry."
>what.jpg
>gives me a beer orders the husky's back into the truck and drives on

After that I just hiked towards the nearest hostel just to be sure y'know.

>>41540267
you seem mad

Dec 30, 2005 0200 hrs (I only remember because it was so close to New Years) on a 2 humvee checkpoint in Baghdad, Iraq. Curfew is in effect for civilian population. Just us and the insurgence out in the wee hours. Me and Lopez are on watch with night vision goggles on. Lopez says he has to shit. he says he is just going to step inside the tree and dig a little cat hole and take a dump. I say ok.

5 mins later I hear a struggle. Oh fuck they are slitting Lopez's throat!

I shoulder M4 Carbine and kick Jordan on the ground and whisper they got lopez get everyone up. Hurry!

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!

Search and scan, search and scan. Flip selector to fire.

Lopez is on the ground with his pants around his ankles frantically trying to kick away a stray dog who is trying to each the MRE poo out of his asshole like a soft serve ice cream machine.

Save Lopez and scare dog off.

Next morning switch out with another squad from my Platoon. The same golden retiever mutt that was eating Lopez butt is frantically licking Sergeant Hanlins hand. Hanlin says thats a good boy! Man this dog is friendly!

Me and Lopez laughing hard as we pull away.

Get hit with 3 IEDs on way back to base but no one is hurt. Fuck this place.

>>41545486
and he was forevermore known as "Lope Dog"

>>41543024
School uniforms. Everyone wore the same shirt, vest, and pants.

>>41545008

Is your uncle pepe?

>>41540267
>a pompous faggot who lies about half the shit he does and exaggerates the rest.
that's fits most poster, you and I including

>>41545160
Do you happen to know his name? Its not like I want to take revenge for he warning my future meals about the danger or anything

>>41540267
This is /tg/

We're all about stories

Whether those stories are true or not are entirely secondary

>>41540267
Congrats on being the most flaming homosexual on 4chan. If you ever meet him irl, you'll understand why he's awesome.

>Driving down the street with my friend
>Suburban road, but lightly populated
>See man laying on the side of the road
>"Dude, I'm stopping."
>"Dude, don't"
>"I'm just going to check on him, make sure he wasn't hit by a car or something" He looked rather hobo-ish, may have just been drunk
>Car behind me stops too, driver is a nurse at the hospital in town
>thank goodness, my idea of First Aid is flailing and crying
>Dude is passed out, but she checks him him out, nothing broked, just drink
>my Friend: toldyou.jpeg
>"You okay here? I can wait for the ambulance?"
>"Nah, my husband is coming up the street to help me, y'all can go"
>Suddenly, drunk hobo grabs my arm using super drunk hobo strength
>whispers "D-don't leave me!"
>Pisses himself a lot, I pissed myself a little
>SuperHobo grip remains
>Stay until the EMTs show, they pull him off me
>Friend is smug af all the way back to my apt

>>41545762
>2 meter tall Icelandic man with an entire pack
good fucking luck

>Le me, taking a piss in the bar's bathroom
>Walk out, huge man standing directly in front of the door, blocking my way
>Startled, I pause for a moment and gape up
>He leans down and says, "How'd it go in there?"
>I consider the question for a moment "You know, it wasn't my best"
>he clicks his tongue, claps me on the shoulder and says "Better luck next time"
>Closes door behind himself after I exit

Weird thing is, I was waiting at the bar expecting to see him walk through to show my friends I wasn't crazy, but I never saw him come out.

>>41545486
A goat shepherd told you to get the fuck of his land in a polite way.

Sometimes they will also say a "sprite" or "elf" inhabits the area. It means don't loiter or disturb the area.

It's a rural Icelandic thing sometimes used but used alot when dealing with tourists because alot of tourists constantly ask us if we actually believe in trolls and elves.

>>41546062
See, I never believe anything rural Icelandic goat herders tell me anyways.

>>41521653
Or he has a split personality that comes out during stresfuls conditions and the big guy is it's manifestation in your psyche.

I.e. that guy is not real, you did all those things.

>>41546062
directed at >>41545160

>>41522052
That's some serious clenching.

>Working as a project manager at a stage construction company
>Outside inspecting a wheeled cart for damages
>Sense something behind me
>Out in the parking lot staring at me is a mustachioed man in a mariachi outfit and a wheeled suitcase.
>He chuckles and tells me "You should use that case as a coffin for all of the politicians, bankers, judges and lawyers of the world and put an end to all evil.
>He chuckles, I chuckle, too, because that's all you can do
>He wishes me a good day and walks off down the road
>There's nothing down that road but thorn bushes and the end of an industrial warehouse neighborhood in the middle of nowhere
>I never see him come back

>>41546208
The mariachi was you the whole time

>At a minor league baseball game
>Some one actually hits a home run
>We all stand and cheer, watching the ball sail over the exterior wall and bounce in the parking lot
>Curious to see if the ball would hit a car, I continue watching as everyone else turns to cheer as the batter makes his victorious round of the bases
>Before the ball hits the ground a second time, a man in a clown outfit steps out from behind a car, catches the ball and disappears behind another car.
>Look at dad, he saw it too
>"Anon, did you see that?"
>"Yeah dad, that was weird"
>"Least I'm not fucking crazy"

My dad almost never cusses, much less says 'fuck'

>>41546265
¡Ay, caramba!

>>41542893
i did, thats why i ran the fuck away

that, and if the guy started to take his sword out or something, she would fucking maul the shit out of him, she's a pitbull and extremely protetctive

>be delivering newspapers in the middle of fucksallville
>driving trough some field to reach some summer cottage
>there's something small, black and furry in the middle of the road
>the critter turns to face me and rises to its hindlegs
>stop the car
>the horrible beast hisses at me, rushes to the field and disappears
>ok

The thing looked like the unholy lovechild of a coondog and a micropig. Or a particularly tiny and ugly cat. Who knows.

>>41546731

It was probably Brown Jenkins

File: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-JO.png (385 KB, 606x810)

385 KB PNG

>>41521653
Or maybe... you know... Just sayin'
It only happens when you're in trouble. Maybe focus that potential a bit.

>>41543533
renfair arena stories GO
>watching small time SCA arena at local ren fair
>roman fuckers keep destroying everyone
>eventually its a roman who wins the tournament
>after the tournament theres a sort of skirmish, explained as a fuck-around match
>ten roman fuckers against ten viking fuckers
>the romans now have spears
>i see where this is going
>commander starts barking orders, they form a phalanx
>really shitty phalanx, but its a phalanx
>wait about a minute, vikings are just staring at them, dont want to charge the phalanx
>commander starts barking orders again, they start moving forward
>vikings decide fuck it, charge
>five vikes dead on impact, only one roman down
>one vike breaks through the phalanx, nails one of the fuckers
>rest of vikes get through the gap
>the phalanx is cut in half
>vikings take down one roman, lose one vike
>viking slaps a roman pike out of the way really hard
>roman tard didnt hold onto it very well i guess
>pike flies over and hits me sideways in the chest, boy i love front row seats
>doesnt really hurt, the entire shaft is covered in foam
>roman tard who lost his pike dies
>no fucking clue what to do with this pike
>viking turns to me and SCREAMS while two of his comrades get wrecked
>"YOU THERE, THROW ME THE SPEAR"
>okay.jpg
>i throw him the pike, he catches it by the shaft
>he uses it to overhead thrust at one fucker his vike brother was fighting
>move onto the next roman
>romans dont understand viking spear tactic
>this roman gets wrecked too
>one more vike down
>its pikevike and shieldvike vs roman, roman, roman, and roman commander
>romans fan out a bit, begin to sort of surround them
>pikevike THROWS the fucking pike at the commander
>commander is down, rest in peace barky
>pikevike takes his axe from his belt, but dropped his shield earlier
>shieldvike charges
>why brother
>takes down a roman, but gets backstabbed
>pikevike charges backstabber, almost decapitates him with his foam axe
cont.

>>41547029
Man, that's some bad art. At least the Jotaro.

>>41547373
>last roman backs up, holding his shield up
>pikevike goes full vike charging with his axe above his head
>roman flinches, pikevike hooks his shield out of the way with shieldvike's shield
>lands killing blow very softly with his axe straight to the roman's head
>pikevike finds me thirty minutes later
>buys me a drink and we talk for a bit
>he's from norway
>this guy is 100% viking
>never see pikevike again

>Halloween night
>Me, dressed like random serial killer, walking down the street
>on my way to a party at a friend's house
>Down the road, i see a group of children, walking towards me, chatting among themselves
>While walking in front of a house, i notice in the front lawn a chair with a plastic skeleton sitting on it
>I have the evilest idea
>Pretty sure the children didn't notice me yet
>Quickly remove skeleton and take hits place on the chair, then wait
>Children walk near me
>I'm ready to scare them
>Suddenly one of them comes near me
>I wait until he's really close, gonna scare him so bad
>Kid stares at me for a split second, then kicks me in the balls before i can do anything
>I roll on the ground, children run away laughing

I rolled poorly on the disguise check

>>41546056

>Le me

You know what, I'll be generous and assume you meant "Be me"

>>41546062
does it matter if you believe in them?

they aren't exactly faeries.

>>41527496
Random encounter? Fuck are you talking about? This happens everyday to every single person that leaves their home.

>>41530904
People leaving their houses and seeing the mailman in the morning are a random encounter nowadays.

>>41547576
Quite the contrary: you rolled too well.

>>41547834
OP asked /tg/ for stories of adventure in real life, that isn't what this board is about

>Be me
>Walking home from the YMCA
>Got a phone and an empty water bottle
>Decide to investigate the woods behind the movie theater
>Nothing but trash, trashed camps, and thorn bushes
>Walking aimlessly for a bit
>Come across a really low canopy tent
>It's undamaged and seemingly still used
>I get near the entrance
>It's got a tripwire
>Hear someone in the woods behind the tent
>Nope.jpg
>I run away cause I'm a bitch
>Return a week later with some friends
>Tent is just up and gone
>Not even a wrecked site like the other places
>Just straight up vanished

Didn't even wait to see who it was or even if it was a person. Just ran because what will an empty plastic water bottle do for me?

>>41520321

Anybody got the cap of the guy who got cursed by a Yogi/Sadhu?

Anyone have that one story where a guy decides to stop while driving through a seemingly-abandoned town with a loud and clearly active bar?

>>41548667
>>41548751
Bumping for either of these.

Here's a copypasta that might be interesting:

In the middle of the night a long time ago, when I was a nerdy little brat just taller than your average doorhandle, I woke up with the need to pee.
The first thing I should note is that said house is 1 story with three bathrooms, and two of those are attached to bedrooms- my big brother's and my parent's- so if I wanted to go, I had to take the third. Due to various factors that amounted to habit, the short route to said bathroom was effectively denied to me, so I had to exit my room, walk through one hallway, three rooms, and touch into another hallway to get to said bathroom, rather than just taking that last corridor about 5 feet. Meh. Incidentally, my room had no windows, and the power was out... not that that was an issue.
The door I took to exit my room in that era was right across from the windows to the front courtyard of our house. I was shyer and quieter than a mouse back then, so the ground I walked on frequently dominated my vision; in this case? That meant I was aware of the light from under my bedroom door as I left, and only peripherally aware of whatever was causing the world outside the window to resemble a floodlight more than a standard window into the night sky.

>>41550323

By the time I walked out of that hallway into the living room, with its windows about the fireplace, I had realized, 'something's off about the light here, but I really need to pee.'
Mind you, whatever was causing this only affected the outside light; inside, there was the implication of light, but nowhere near enough to blind outside detail; think an overlit 'creepy movie scene' more than than 'MY EYES MY EYES'. Plus, my introversion and vague panic kept me from looking out any windows (I would be hosed if a weeping angel popped up at my door- I tend to freeze and NOT look when my ohnosecond sense hits.)
So I kept trekking, quietly going 'this is weird', through the two more rooms- also lit from windows, but not well enough for day- and get to the bathroom. At which point I'm certain the power is out, because the bathroom lights didn't work- meaning I had to try to empty my bladder with the door wide open, so I could see just enough to aim. I'm pretty sure I had worse aim than a stormtrooper at that point. Still, I was in the bathroom before I emptied my bladder.
So I started my trek back after flushing, shuffled back along my path, making a note of never actually looking at or through the windows I think, and finally return to my room, where I closed the door, went back to bed, and quietly wondered to myself why everything was in greyscale.