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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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What makes an Elder Thing recoil in fear, besides Shadow girls in bomber jackets?

Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to enter a dimension beyond logic or common human decency. A land of horrific wankery and bad writing on a scale that makes Twilight look like War and Peace.

Welcome, to the SUE-niverse.

Previous thread

I am TheWriteFagsApprentice, formerly Anon, formerly Leprechaun.
>(Used it in last thread, and a few other places before now, but current nickname fits SO much better)
And I will be your host to this Grand Mal cluster fuck.
I am nothing more than a writefag in training, hoping to spread awareness of the horror that is the SUE-niverse, to aid others as the Story of the Ao-Sue saved me.

In that, I looked at everything I do in RPG's or write about and anything that even smelled of Marty, I stopped/erased and changed my ways until I felt clean again. If even one fa/tg/uy has a similar experience because of these stories, then I will be happy.

For now, I will be parsing/ad-libbing the story of the SUE-files from irolledazero dot blogspot dot com, and a thread where one poor fool went to ask for assistance curbing the "That Guy" behaviors in a friend and DM, and soon fell into a horror that caused him to create the blog above, as a warning to all.

The source contains information that was left out of the blog proper, though I ask anybody who knows of or links to said source to NOT reveal it, as it could IRL backlash on ZeRoller FAR worse than anything that could be done to Marty

A man known as Marty is the only regularly available DM at a University so evil and stress-inducing, that when his players/"friends" discovered how batshit insane he was:

>"My DMPC can us OOC knowledge of what you guys are doing because he and I are psychically connected, and you can't do that with your characters because none of you are psychic IRL!"

The group went "...little nuts...but within acceptable parameters for this shithole" and didn't abandon him, as they rightfully should have the instant his Auth...

...his Authhhh..

...his Auuaauuutthhyyy-HIS FICTIONAL FUCKING AVATAR!
Who was a Vampire/Shapeshifter/Psionic with red eyes, silver hair and dual-wielded lightsaber katana's.

The group (ZeRoller) discovered that EVERY game Marty ran tied into this "Multiverse Setting" he'd created, where "He" (his DMPC Vamp!Marty) would run around "Fixing" all his favorite fictional settings. Most groups he ran, the PC's would be dead before the Marty-ssiah showed up, and at every turn the efforts of those Players would be thwarted by Vamp!Marty changing the rules of the setting they were involved in with the OOC knowledge above, by traveling back in time and changing things through
>"Chaos Theory"
...if I facepalm any harder, my next post will be what a brainstem smells like...

The justification for this is that people (The players, representing the "People" of a given setting) needed to see just how BAD things in their universe is, so they would welcome the Vampyre-Messiah with open arms. Which is why at any given moment, reality itself would change to fuck over the people who were trying to have FUN in an RPG.

This became worse in CthulhuTech, when they (or at least ZeRoller) was told to "Do Your worst!" as it was a playtest of Marty's slapdash D20 system that he intended/intends to sell in IRL for actual money...even though much of his system was plagiarized wholesale, and he will (maybe has? Please?) be sued into oblivion.
Why would you send Marty to Oblivion? What has Molag ever done to you.
Alright people, assuming those who read the previous thread have found this one yet, Vote time!

My original intent:
>Try to lay out the information that didn't make it into the blog, with my ad-libs of the stories from the blog where relevant.

But as I go on with the Source...fuck me twice with a banana, but I can't think of HOW I can relate this shit in a meaningful way! (Plus it'd make the board wait even longer on my ass to update cause I'd actually have to prep and rough draft this stuff instead of flying by the seat of my pants, like I've been doing.)

So current idea, Put out the semi-isolated tidbits of information from teh Source, then dive into SUEthulhu from the blog.

One such example, when the players realized just how fucked up things were, and actively tried to kill Vamp!Marty/Fuck over DM-Marty, they figured out patterns from previous games and NOPED them.

Recall the ULTIMATE GOD-SLAYING Katana known as RiceFart from the previous thread? And how the Players took a less UBER-L33T Katana, Windblade, and turned it into Winterflame via all the enchantments ever?

Common Theme in Marty Games: There will be some kind of Uber-Katana tied to Legends and Prophecies of a some kind of Savior and when Vamp!Marty shows up, he will steal it via
>"The sword leaps from your grasp and flies into the hands of it's 1 true master!"

So when Rick threw RiceFart to a lich instead of taking it with him through the portal, that was intentional because he and Lily KNEW that Vamp!Marty was going to be there and DM-Marty was expecting them to go "This Weapon is so good, it's GOTTA help us against this BBEG/DMPC/(secretly the 'real hero').
Which is why they made Winterflame. So Marty couldn't *YOINK* their best hope against the Ao-Sue.

Which makes the "Epic" (RAGE-INDUCING) battle between the ultimate faggot Sue and the WH40k Krieger even more Rage-ifying when you recall what happened to Winterflame.
>Fuck your clavicle Marty.
>I am nothing more than a writefag in training.
I see through your lies spawn of chaos.
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>If even one fa/tg/uy has a similar experience because of these stories, then I will be happy.

I've recently been preparing my first campaign where I'm the GM for a group of friends, set in a modern fantasy world that we've collaboratively created. I've done the homemade mechanics (I'm a bit of a creator and the only one person has any experience in commercial TTRPGs, which happens to be AD&D). After reading the first thread I went over all the mechanics, but I'm actually pretty proud of it all. It's got no binary 'success/failure' systems, and it's nice and translatable to most situations I can think of.

But, y'see, I just realised my massive over-arching campaign involving deity-killing and multiverse-traversing is verging on Martyism. It's not that any of the NPCs (no DMPCs; I hate those) are OP or 3edgy, but it's just that the entire plot is basically a massive railroad. I've got puzzles and open-ended paths ready for my players, but at the end of the day, they're going to be doing one specific thing. The methods I've got for 'steering' PCs in a certain direction aren't even subtle. They're quite similar to Marty's 'you do that, and [unpredictable, unexpected, unlikely event] occurs and you [cannot do that]'. Dammit I'm awful at this.

I've now become repulsed by how ugly that plot is, and I'm redesigning the whole thing.

Luckily I've got about a month before our first session. Thank you for enlightening me to my Martyish ways. I will become a disciple of sensible and friendly GMing, one day wishing to become adept enough to no longer fear the unbridled wrath of the rules lawyer, the repressed anger of the edgelord, the ignorant naïvety of the Mary Sue, the calculating machinations of the powergamer, the emotionless robotics of the rollplayer, the self-inserting smirks of the ERPer, and the insufferable fury of the That Guy. May you resist the temptation of Marty. May Gygax bless you and keep you, for now and all of your days.
I would pull from the source if that makes the story better.
I would prefer the source since most of us are masochistic and will likely go to ZeRoller's blog to read all the things you glossed over.

So, take your time, we'll keep the thread bumped, and pray for all our immortal souls.
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If praying can keep Giygas away maybe it'll work against Marty too
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I imagine this as Marty planning a session.

It dulls the pain.
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Nah, Gromit is far more intelligent and sophisticated than Marty. Marty's chucking tree seeds in random directions, using his magical vampire powers to turn them into fully grown plants in the perfect shape for track-building, which subsequently fall off in perfect synchrony to form a hard light hologram so that his soul-energy powered train (that runs perfectly, never suffers any damage, can continue on even without a supply of soul energy, and which can be controlled telepathically across any distance by Marty and Marty alone) does not fall into the Deep Dark Abyss Between Nothingness(TM) that Marty has only not yet explored because he's not done with the real world(s).

Oh, and the PCs are bound to the trees and become damsels in distress, tied to the tracks, so that he can swoop down, shapeshift into a giant bat with katanas for claws, grab them roughly and haul them back on board. Then the PCs can laud and exalt him and his power, which he will stoically shrug off because he's just that badass.


No, really, he's just throwing seeds at the PCs until they get fed up enough and just agree.

Seriously, though, what stopped the PCs from just forming their own group? By OP's account, I'd say that it went past 'annoying but bearable' or even 'perversely amusing' a loooong time ago. Why would you waste that much of your lifespan in sessions with him?

Why would you waste that much of your lifespan on /tg/ reading the story of that session?
I think the original threads would shed more light on that. Unfortunately it would also allow doxxing of ZeRoller, I assume.

I'm multitasking to spend as little time as possible on /tg/
OP apologizes. At the moment, Marty has taken up residence in my colon.
>AKA: there's a very large piece of shit that's trying to kill me and it's pissin' me off.

As for WHY regarding the players, as the horror was revealed, the advice ZeRoller got shifted from

"Talk to him and explain why this isn't fun for any of you, or walk the fuck away"
"Henderson this sunuvabitch, and/or play along with his little game (maybe even start an in game cult to the Katana-wielding Messiah) and when Marty reveals the Ao-Sue; he and the other players laugh in his face, IC and OOC, and go "No, where's the real guy? Cause this guys a fucking idiot, I mean, look at his hair! He's using Lightsaber Katanas! Where's the real villain/BBEG?!"

Or simply ignore Marty when he starts monologing as his avatar and keep rolling "To disbelieve" because "Nothing this stupid can be real."

Sadly that didn't happen as there was a severe breakdown of 'friendships' and the players just couldn't stomach the retardation anymore. Apparently ZeRoller told Marty "Get some therapy" and Marty didn't take that very well.

OP was mid-post creation when struck by Nurgles (gut)Rot, une momento.
>I'm multitasking to spend as little time as possible on /tg/

I dont know but I can't stop. I have to see this to the end. Otherwise this will haunt me forever.
>Henderson this sunuvabitch
The only right answer.
How often have you seen Shoggy (All Guardsman Party) or WaffleHouseMillionaire (Henderson) drop more F-bombs than napalm on 'Nam?
Hence, I'm an apprentice.
>plus Marty's 'novelization' of the of the sessions couldn't go 2 minutes without a character saying "Fuck". Read the blog post on the novelization of Rick, the IG Krieger killing a Cornugon, because according to that, his only language is cussing.
> I will become a disciple of sensible and friendly GMing, one day wishing to become adept enough to no longer fear the unbridled wrath of the rules lawyer, the repressed anger of the edgelord, the ignorant naïvety of the Mary Sue, the calculating machinations of the powergamer, the emotionless robotics of the rollplayer, the self-inserting smirks of the ERPer, and the insufferable fury of the That Guy. May you resist the temptation of Marty. May Gygax bless you and keep you, for now and all of your days
...I'm going to get that put on a plague and mount it on my wall...also don't feel too badly, because...well...

From the Blog there was a Deadlands campaign (NEVER played it myself, but I've heard good things) wherein Marty was a player, and ZeRoller was one of several DM's
>TLDR Marty as a Player: Same as his military strategy, Whatever makes him the most blasty to the point of retardation and he's such an idiot he's not even good at THAT...
Apparently there were some problems with that game (multiple DM's, 8-9 players, one of them being Marty, etc) and ZeRoller took every Deadlands module he had and strung them together, so that the BBEG of one would be the lesser evil to the BBEG of the next module.
>OP mental image: Vegeta lead to Frieza which lead to the Androids which lead to Cell, etc
When ZeRoller initially confronted Marty about writing a plot to an RPG before the sessions, he called out ZeRoller because "You did the same thing! Why's mine any different?"

ZeRoller: Patience of a Saint...
>I will become a disciple of sensible and friendly GMing, one day wishing to become adept enough to no longer fear the unbridled wrath of the rules lawyer, the repressed anger of the edgelord, the ignorant naïvety of the Mary Sue, the calculating machinations of the powergamer, the emotionless robotics of the rollplayer, the self-inserting smirks of the ERPer, and the insufferable fury of the That Guy. May you resist the temptation of Marty. May Gygax bless you and keep you, for now and all of your days.

We should make that our Lord's Prayer. /tg/ Prayer? GMs' Prayer? Whatever. Make sure you say it at sunrise and sunset; when you eat and when you sleep. Mark it upon your doorposts as a sign, and write it on your hands and on your forehead. Teach it to your children and discuss it well.

Apologies to any Christians/Jews on here who are upset at my bastardisation of Deuteronomy. It's been a long time since I read it, and I'm too lazy to go look it up online.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, why would anyone be upset?
Hmmm...remember the bits about Au...the Writer's and their Exclusivity, and how Marty wrote the Multiverse/Many universes and thus that gave him EXTRA super-special Snowflake powers?
He may or may not have re-written the multiverse rule of "Authyr's have Godlike power in their settings" when he ascended to power. So nobody could out Mary-Sue his Mary-Sue.

Also...He demanded enough control over the backstories of his Player's Characters that they were effectively written BY him, save for very inconsequential stuff. Suddenly the bit in the blog where ZeRoller talked about the creation of Cael, the Irish pseudo-anarchist Scion, had Marty halve Cael's starting wealth because.
>"If he was rich, he wouldn't be that maladjusted"
Makes a bit more sense...and NO I don't mean Marty's stupid fucking "RICH PEOPLE ARE GODS!" Fetish, I mean that Marty COULD do that...

Also, while WH40K was allowed into the multiverse, Marty knew fuck-all about it, and the players tried to use that against him. At one point, they were given a 24-hour period to prepare for an invasion by Vamp!Marty and the only thing they had were inter-fiction portals, and everybody the talked to in other 'verses were too scared or in awe to help them. ZeRoller suggested getting Orks to fight in a huge WAAAGGHH!!! and leave the portal open to draw the attention of Khorne (Or Slaanesh, cause FUCK Vamp!Marty).

Marty's response was to create a mechanic called "Sealing a Reality" which was backdated in game to before he even knew about the setting. It re-wrote half his mechanics and several of his settings core tenets by the time he crunched it out so the players could never seal a reality themselves.

Plus he no longer allowed settings he didn't know about unless they were written BY the other players, and he was allowed to "revise" them and "Make them fit the timeline."
>Soul of Liquid Nitrogen...
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Because there's some religious nutheads around. Not that I'd expect any on 4chan (at least, not for long).

It's just a precaution thing. I try not to be rude generally, even on here. Politeness is apparently a good thing. Chivalry is dead.

Anyway. I suppose a lot of stuff we do here is sacrilege and heresy and all the occult things that fly around fundamentalists' minds.
BTW someone tried to turn that Ritual of Supreme Fuckery into something that could be theoretically usable.


I'd say it looks better only because any editing would make it look better than the original.
>"Make them fit the timeline."

And this is why you don't do time-travel or reality-jumping, kids. Bad things happen. God might rewrite your history and make you a little girl. Then what?!
... Don't even have a snarky comment for this one.
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Then we /ss/.
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As long as you're not going full fedora mode I don't see anything wrong with such things, especially on this site, and if you take the time to also be kind with your words and apologize to any who could be offended in advance I'd have an even harder time in finding any wrongdoings.

But yeah I get your point, everyone is offended by everything nowadays, although I typically enjoy black comedy so this could make me biased

If it's any consolation I'm ORTHODOX and always enjoy seeing other people's views and humors, pic related
Oh, BTW the ban on other Universes applies to DC and Marvel.

Except for the fact that the Anti-Monitor is on Vamp!Marty's long list of allies alongside Thrawn and Lelouch. Oh, that's interesting...

When the players tried to 'play up' Marty's Weeaboo wankery (Before they turned around and said "I'm gonna wreck it!") in order to have more fun and freedom, they tried to pull Lelouch level tactical strategies in the game. Marty didn't allow it because
>"None of you are Lelouch."

Souls are like Gallbladders right? You don't REALLY need them and can get by just fine without em...right?"

Oh my....Oh my god....
>OP feels a stupidity induced seizure coming on...

There is a 'saying' of Vamp!Marty's.

As in, something that Writer's Urine-Soaked-Cardboard-Cutout has said IN CHARACTER.

...Let’s call it...catchphrase for now.

>”I am so powerful, an unstoppable force meets an immovable object whenever I clap my hands!”

…….OP Catchphrase
>Paule Mooney: “I can’t make this shit up, I’m not that good.”

*sniff sniff* Hmm, apparently brainstems smell like bad fish, good cheese and the color 4.
>”I am so powerful, an unstoppable force meets an immovable object whenever I clap my hands!”

So what does he call his entire existence, or, to give it a more accurate descriptor, the constant hand-less masturbation this entire session is?
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If an unstoppable force were to meet an unmovable object every time he clapped, the expenditure of energy required to create, maintaine, and repel such a bust of kinetic energy would annihilate the fucking planet. Which begs the question of how the hell he would even know that.

>None of you are Lelouch
There are myriad ways he could have said that. "Are you saying that in or out of character", "Are you sure you can pull that off", "maybe you could try something less elaborate". Nope. "None of you are Lelouch". What in the fuck. Am I reading.
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>There are myriad ways he could have said that.
"That's so cock-fuckingly complex you fuckwit even a fucking 4-year-old could outsmart your fucking wreck you have the audacity to call a fucking fuckarsed plan by simply following their intuition to fuck's end, you fuck-oodling fucktard."
That works too.
Bit from when the Party in SUEthulhu had to make their own net guns:

These are “observations” from ZeRoller regarding Marty’s continued efforts to fuck over player Agency.

>>increasing the ultimate tensile strength of a net's fibers by 350%, doesn't change the net's breaking strength.

So changing how much it takes to pull a rope hard enough to break it...does NOT change how hard it is to break out of a net made of that same rope?
>Can’t wake up...

>>It requires a PhD in chemistry to know what crosslinking means because the DM doesn't remember AP Chemistry. Same for dehydration synthesis.

OP is a chemistry retard and had to look both those things up. Cross-linking is when to chemical’s join together...that’s it? THAT requires a PhD to remember!? And Dehydration synthesis is when molecules condense together, they release water, so understanding ‘condensation’ ALSO Requires-!?
>Gonna sodomize him with a shovel.pptx

>>The best fibers available in 2085 will have a breaking strength of 200 MPa.

OP had to look up. Wiki list was metals and 200 MPa was break limit for iron.
OP knows metal are weak regarding MPa though, so look up fishing lines and spiderthread tensile strength:

>Fishing line: Found a thing saying 4 lb rated Fishing lines have 170~Mpa…
>Spider Thread: Anywhere from 450 - 1970 MPa…

>>Basalt fiber is brittle, and cannot bend without breaking, because basalt is a rock and whoever heard of bendy rocks?


>>Disposable CO2 tanks have an energy density higher than military propellants.

Done. I’m done talking about his science fuckery, save for shit that even somebody like ME knows without needing to look it up. Just. Fucking. Done.
>"That's so cock-fuckingly complex you fuckwit even a fucking 4-year-old could outsmart your fucking wreck you have the audacity to call a fucking fuckarsed plan by simply following their intuition to fuck's end, you fuck-oodling fucktard."

God I would love to have Gordon Ramsay as a DM. Just so I can hear him cuss out the PC's for all the stupid shit they would do.

"Why the fuck did you kill the peasant?"
"I thought he was going to betray us."
"Betray you? Betray you?! He was a hundred years old! He was bloody ancient! How the fuck was he going to betray you?!"
"*mumble* *mumble*"
"What was that? What did you say? Are you trying to justify killing an old man after you've already killed him?"
"No DM."
"That's what I thought. Now go sit in the naughty corner. You, take control of his character, if you fuck up you'll be joining him."
>Gonna sodomize him with a shovel.pptx

Woah, something's gone wrong when you use a POWERPOINT presentation as a reaction image.
So, detour from the brain destroying horror of this all. Since you're supposed to be practicing your writefagging, you have a tendency to use the same phrase more than a few times. While this would be okay in a blog format that proceeds slowly, over days, you could tend to use different phrases to describe reactions,
Nothin wrong with what you're doing right now, but just a minor hopefully helpful critique.
My advice for OP would be to:
1) use a thesaurus (sensibly, don't just choose a random synonym because it's long and pretentious)
2) pretend you're someone else. Just imitate their mannerisms and assimilate them into your own. Become a gestalt of personality nuances. Absorb their consciousness. Achieve godhood.
So something like pic related
Achieve CHIM. Ascend to the Godhead. Control the dream.
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Oh god.
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No, it's the Sharmat. WHAT I BRING IS A SONG.
You'd need to be a gestalt of personalities to get through this shit. The other anons are probably the reason I'm still sane reading this thread.

I am still sane, right? RIGHT?
So you're suggesting OP achieves CHIM?
Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change.

>We already know how Marty will react to every situation.
>We already know how the 'campaign' will end.
>We already know how every conflict will be resolved.
>We already know.
>And yet we continue.
>Endlessly, endlessly, continually ploughing through torrents of muck and filth.
>What pearl do you think you will find here?

CAPTCHA thinks that a fruit salad in a glass bowl is ice cream.
It also thinks Space Marines are steak. Or maybe just the Fists.
Even captcha has lost it.

We are being informed of the eye of terror level heresy in these threads.
So, ApprenticeWritefag, how much of the stuff outside of the Blog have we got before we start to fall into the abyss that is SUETHUL|HU?
Thank you for that. I notice it myself, but usually through proof-reading and I haven't been doing that here. (Much). I need to work on it a bit.
1. Normally don't have a problem with synonyms, and I don't have the ego to pick the longest synonym possible just to make myself look smarter.
2. Ha ha, it is to laugh.
Getting harder with this stuff, cause it's getting more closely tied into into the blog proper. I'm on mobile ATM, so I'm gonna say that my big thing is finding out what the Players did to get so many chemicals and chemical reactions banned.

Antimony is no longer a thing, and the existence of Neutrons is "in doubt"
Honey bees are extinct because the players thought of "paint ball guns loaded with bee 'alarm' pheromones.
Willow trees are gone because "No salysilic acid for you!"

And GODDAMNIT I'm going to find out why Marty banned Dolphins cause I know it was dumber than hell!
Besides all the frustration, shame, and anger, I have two distinct opinion on the matter

On one hand, I'm just glad that these guys were such hardcore players that they kept playing. Any newbie, or more casual person would have turned their backs, and never touch tabletop again.

On the other hand, I just don't know what to think that none of them took the mantle of a GM, even after all this BS
>Bees are extinct.

A short quote from an article postulating such a thing.
>Without bees, crop yields would fall off dramatically. It's estimated that one-third of all the food we eat relies on bees for its production. That includes virtually every fruit you might make into jam, but finding something to put on your toast would be the least of your worries. Over evolutionary timescales, other insects would probably take over the empty ecological niche but in the short term you could expect the apple, orange, coffee, chocolate and rapeseed oil industries to collapse. This wouldn't be an extinction-level event for humans, but it would cause widespread economic hardship and possibly famine until alternative cultivation systems and crops could be developed.

Fucking hell marty.
The Litnay of GMing
Woah, OP, you're Leprechaun again. Any reason for going back? Have you mastered the art of writefaggotry?

CAPTCHA asked for sandwiches but only gave pictures of burgers.
That's more like Mantling than CHIM.
Proactive bump.
Please tell me that Marty's Bullshit has put you in a coma, OP, please?
Wow, that's morbid.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I meant *hasn't put you in a coma. FUCK!
Its all made worse by the fact his players seem imaginative, creative and I would love to GM for them.
Oh really.
ya, really.
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Why didn't you drop him?

I don't mean leave his game. I mean pick him up and drop him.
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He isn't one of the players, this is a retelling of another story. It's abridged Zeroller.
Sorry about that board. Tonights gonna be a game night and depending on how shit goes, I'll be posting off and on.

First off I'm going to mention something. I don't have the rulebooks or source books for Cthulhutech in front of me, and most of my knowledge is going to be 2nd hand, and I might need a bit of interpretation for what Marty threw into Cthulhutech and what was already there.

All that in mind, I don't see TOO much of a problem with Cthulhutech as a concept.

Anime-esque influences in D20 modern? Ehhh...
Magical Realm shenanigans, which I read some details on outside irolledazero and I wish I hadn't? 2 scoops of fuck that.
Cthulian monsters and mythology? You have my attention, and I'd be eager to learn.
...I can punch an Elder Thing in it's face(?) with a Giant Robot? I'M IN!!!

At least once or twice, to see how I like the system, rather than say nope without even trying. ZeRoller seems to be science minded and had issues with the setting involving the Mecha not being feasible using current materials and Physics, and the fact that Cthulhutech makes Lovecraftian Mythos survivable. He makes fair points, but if you took out some of the more retarded things that weren't thrown in by Marty, and just left in the ability to punch Cthulhu in the face with a Gundam, it'd be totally doable.

Ironically enough, comparable to Eclipse Phase, which was mentioned in the blog as what the party THOUGHT Marty was going to choose for the next game, and I've recently started a game of! It's stupid awesome, and sometimes people need a little of that.

Next up, talking about Marty's game, or about what Cthulhutech is?

Eh, I've made people wait enough, I'll skip to story time of the campaign.

Most of the Players are here, plus 1 more.
Rick is now Darya: Who is an ex-Russian special forces, Russian mob, Chinese triad and she is "All das heavy veapons, EVER."
A 'new' guy is Jin and he's the hacker/non-combatant of the group, and according to ZeRoller he's good friends/Best friends with Marty.
>This does not mean he won't get butt-fucked in this game, it just means he get's to choose the scent of Marty's lube and the color of the condom.
Third player is Tera, and he's a Tager, which is a Cthulhutech were-Shoggoth. There's good ones (Tager) and bad ones (Dhohanoids) and even though this setting is supposed to be super-paranoid/dystopian (not according to Marty...) with DNA scanners everywhere, they don't pick up on the people who have a THING THAT SHOULD NOT BE playing hitchhiker in their bodies.

The first sessions before our friendly snitch regarding Marty's SUE-niverse involved the 3 above characters pulling "Secret Agents pretending to be hardened criminals while earning the trust of the nice were-Shoggoths" on behalf of the World Government's CIA, called the GIA. Cthulhu Mythos, Hastur came back (Somebody give him lawn gnomes, quick!) and his armies rape-trained Asia. (Literally...) This campaign started pre-Rapine storm with the "totally authentic Triad members" trying to make a quick buck off the chaos of evacuating by acting as greasers (My term, "greasing the wheels", I think it works) for a sale of a copy of the Necronomicon.
>Oh! I could use some rolling papers! And after the SUE files, I've lost MORE than enough SAN to withstand something as piddly as toking with the tomb of the Evil Dead!

Marty's missions involved a blown deal that left the PC's with the Book and a fuck-ton of cash. The cash went 'missing' and Tera was going to take the Necronomicon to his were-shoggoth superiors, but despite both those things, Chinese Triads are a LOT more forgiving than you think!
If Marty was my DM I would just ask politely and be as nice as I can, but argue. That way he won't notice the arsenic I'm slipping into his drink.

>hey if you believe you're phsycic, and that is what lets you use OOC information to tell your Gary Stue (I wouldn't even bother with that dumbass name he gave it) please show us. Show us proof you're phsycic.
>*Bullsht response about how only phsycics can detect phsycics or some other bullshit*
>well if that's true, then only a phsycic could tell if you are telling the truth and not just BSing the entire thing so you have an excuse for your ultimate Gary Stue to keep tabs on the players?
>while he's getting red in the face and rolling on the floor yelling I'll slip some arsenic in his drink
>Hey I noticed that there's a ridiculous amount of skills, many of which are in the same field of science that could be combined into simpler skill checks. Can you lower the number of skills so I don't need a lot of skill points in eight different engineering skills to build a mud hut?
>*BS explanation of why I need five different PHDs to make healing salve out of herbs*
>But if that was needed IRL then nobody would be able to do that even though people did that before colleges or books existed.
>he gets pissy and I dump some more arsenic in his drink while he isn't looking
Or even
>your DMPC is overpowered and doesn't even follow the same rules the players need to follow. Our actions mean nothing and everything we want to do that makes sense but isn't on your railroad is shot down with an ion canon. Please nerf your DMPC or at least give players some kind of freedom to do things. Because if we can't do anything except follow the railroad then why are we even here? Why aren't you allowing fun or player agency?
>*Excuses and long rants that I ignore and slip the final batch of arsenic into his drink*

Well, relatively forgiving. The party were told to find something that they would know "when they saw it."

It turned out to be an invisible box.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Truly, Marty is a master of the bardic craft for coming up with such a funny joke. When they see it, and it's invisible...

Key thing to realize is that this campaign was going on semi-simultaneously with the SUE-niverse tale of Rick and Lily, so Marty allowed the players to have a bit of slack (for him anyway) because he was too busy defiling as many multiverses as possible in the shortest time he could. He was eager to tell the players that "nothing you're doing really matters" while they were having fun doing underworld-spies-monster hunter shenanigans.

OP question: How long would you last in a session if the DM actually told you consistently that nothing your character was doing "Mattered" in regards to the games plot? I mean, if he pulls shit like re-creating things the party breaks that are supposed to be one of a kind, that's one thing. (I've had that happen in a game. We dropped the cursed, intelligent dagger into a volcano, and then the DM broke up with his girlfriend. Next session after that dramabomb, the party woke up to find the Ex-GF's current character having his throat slit by the cursed dagger, which was held by a previous character of hers that disappeared months earlier)

But to TELL the party that "Oh yeah, that thing still exists/my DMPC made a copy"?
Or to flat out say "You aren't doing anything that matters or is important"?
Cause it wouldn't take much to say "If we're not doing anything important, then why the fuck are we doing it?"

I know why ZeRoller and the others stuck with Marty's campaign, as it turned into a weird mixture of hope and horrified fixation from wondering "He can't REALLY be serious, or this crazy...could he?"
So, they hoped he could be pulled back from the abyss...but also wanted to see how far he'd fall if he couldn't...
>So, they hoped he could be pulled back from the abyss...but also wanted to see how far he'd fall if he couldn't...
Like watching a man be torn apart in a bear-pit and being so fascinated that you jump in after him to get a closer look, something like that?
If my DM said that nothing I did mattered and he would make up stuff to undo my successes I would do stuff. First I would be pissed, then immediately disappointed in the game I was exited for. Then I'll ask the DM why my character shouldn't just take 6 ranks in "farming" and go grow cabbage. If he doesn't change then I actually have my character take 6 ranks in farming and tell the party that he lost hope and has quit. If any try to keep my character around he just commits suicide on the spot and I leave the group.
Ah, okay, I read it as becoming multiple entities for some reason
Depends on the DM really. I'm mostly thinking it can go three ways.

>Nothing you do matters yet
Leaving the players free to do what they want in a sandbox to acclimate before the plot starts moving.
>Nothing you're doing matters because it's too small time.
This can go either way. But optimistically, it's a hook for the players to step up their game and have to immerse themselves in the game world, not a problem with player agency.
>Nothing you do matters at all. Ever. Because I'm a fucking disciple of fucking Marty.
Yeah nah fuck that shit.
OP Profusely apologizes, game tonight is eclipse phase and the DM is recreating Space Hulk, and playing the Dead Space OST on his laptop...kinda need to focus.

This humble writefag-in-training apologizes, new posts very soon.
Have fun anon. You've earned it.
Since OP will be gone for a bit, is anyone willing to give advice to add on to what Marty has been teaching to a writefag who's writing up a long story that includes a multiverse with a canon-conservation force and follows a semi-self insert?

Cringe-inducing, I know, but I've been thinking about this for years and have already been writing for a few with one major revision/scrapping since I'm trying to make it somewhat entertaining.

Details on the multiverse:
>While each universe has its set canon, it's straight crossover galore with anything from electricity to the warp throwing objects and beings from one place to another
>Characters who die or become irrelevant in such a way that the body is never recovered or their fate is unknown may cross over to another universe
>The amount of crossover events can fluctuate, but ripples from more severe crossovers can cause more "universal anomalies" to appear in the affected universe
>The severity of the crossover can be measured on how affected the canon is, namely the influence on the main characters
>If there is little to no change then it's fine
>If the influence of the universal anomaly actually makes an interesting story (determined by the whims of the author) then there's still no problem, hence why any crossover happens at all
>One of the worst events that can happen could be, for example, a necron popping into Kanon Terminator style, which could quickly result in characters being slaughtered
>The result of such a change to the canon would be a runaway greenhouse effect that ends with the universe becoming an unrecognizable, unsalvagable, multiversal hellscape
>The organization (or multiple, haven't set that in stone) uses equipment and characters that are either dead or their universes won't miss in order to stop things like the above from happening
>Standard operating procedures usually involve not causing a ruckus when eliminating a dangerous anomaly, with minimal if any interaction with MCs
Rest well OP. You'll need it...
Just don't.
Please, don't.
I wish I could say I'm on-board with that, but I'm not, because the difference in internal logic and physics is so great between 'universes' that it would like me stepping into a world where every 'color' is just a different wavelength of blue and expecting not to break everything on entry.
Thats a huge endeavor to take on, anon. I can't see that being successful.

If I've got any advice, it would be this. Start reading Sandersons Cosmere. If you don't like his writing, ignore it. Focus on his worldbuilding.
>Have an overworld universe (metaverse) with its own consistent laws.
>Have universes residing in that metaverse have laws shaped by something in the metaverse at that point in the multiverse.
>Universes must retain internal consistency. If you have cross-universal travellers, they must be subject to the laws of the universe and may lose access/effectiveness for any 'sources of power' that cannot be used at this there.
>You dont need to tell all these laws to the reader immediately. But you should know them all before you start.
I am summing this up horribly, but the gist of it is, you need a consistent metaverse to even start making a multiverse like that.

Secondly, the authors canon thing. Fuck it. Make it a timeline thing. Creating/preventing deviations from a timeline are a well established sci-fi story device, adding in canon and authors does nothing but make it more convoluted than it needs to be.

You want to set it up as a 'simple' multiversal time cops.

At the end of it though, if it was a game you were running, I'd say go for it as long as you have good players and let them run free in it. Since player agency in a setting like this could at least lead to some fun stories.
Playing as dead characters jumping around different universes is open to so many things if done right.

As a story, it sounds like needlessly complex fanfiction that could easily turn into very very bad fanfiction.
>Page 9
File: image.jpg (1.22 MB, 3264x2448)
1.22 MB
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Bompedy bimp bomp.
Where is this from? Looks like something I'd be interested in.
Page 8 bump.

OP, don't you dare die on us!
Tfw OP got in a car crash immediately after eclipse phase.
The OP's space hulk got hit by an Exurgent (Spelling?) virus called a Basilisk hack. Pirate/smuggler hub a Junta General went to with his family on vacation. Junta put the Hack on his daughter, she uploaded to the mesh, he suicide bombed so that everybody in the station would turn on the mesh to find out what happened...an entire hub full of people who used Fab/medical equipment to splice weapons and bits of the hull into their bodies to make them armed and armored, all to the theme of a Dead Space/Space Hulk mission.

But who gives a shit about me!? SUETHULHU!
So the funtimes lasted approximately 2 sessions when Marty threw a lich at the party. His name was Dick, which was very descriptive of his personality, especially because Marty didn't use his super-special-snowflake magical crunch for Dick. Dick used DnD style magic and Tera got incinerated by a fireball, (BDH Moment, pushing Darya out of the way) and then an "Infinite Improbability Drive" fires up and in teleports "Ian", riding a spherical cow, holding a book of ice magic that belonged to Lily, and he's an Au-(NO) an expy of the player.

Yes, Marty allowed another Aut-(those-that-shall-not-be-dignified-with-names), into a campaign, but only cause/so Ian didn't have to use Marty's stupid Ritual Magic.

OP Disclaimer: Might have misinterpreted Magic Rules from 1st thread. I think the "ritual" magic is the one where you have to buy spell on an individual basis (Buy a 1d6 Fireball with 30 foot range and single target, then have to buy the 2d6), while the Lesser-Greater, "Telekinesis is a 9th level spell" is the "normal" magic system.

The plan goes to hell, the party's cover get's blown, and they get promoted (???) to Blackspire who are the MIB of the GIA.

Their job? Convince Tagers to join the GIA by moving to Chicago.

This is when Cael/ZeRoller joins in on the "fun".
>Abandon hope (of fun) all ye who enter (this game)

Damn. I've got the pdf's but I just don't have the energy to read them. Maybe once I actually sleep for more than 3 hours I'll get to that.

On the other hand I can't wait to see what bullshit the DM from hell pulls. He's bringing back flashbacks when my GM tried pulling some of this shit: http://googlebordello.crushhumanity.org/internettreasures/hitem.html

Thankfully I lived in another town and so wasn't forced to put up with his shenanigans. Others, not so fortunate.
OP Lives!

Who the fuck is Ian? Did he grant another player expy status or is he just using other aut-'writers' as characters now?

>Abandon hope (of fun) all ye who enter (this game)
Liberate tuteme ex inferis

Reason for talking about Cael is several fold. Marty apparently thrust the idea on ZeRoller to playtest Marty's system, and do it through Science because Marty assured ZeRoller that Science was still a viable thing, and this is where Marty's retardation would show through in GD spades.
>Flashback! WooWooWooWooWoo
>Marty doesn't allow PC's to have an INT score of 18, because that's his IRL INT score (He stated himself out)
>When Players come up with an idea that involves something Marty doesn't know off the top of his head, he can use the above as an excuse to say "Your PC isn't smart enough to know that or think of that."
Also, Marty destroyed SUETHULHU's internet to make sure PC's could never research IC what the Player's wanted them to do/try, and in all his games, there exists nothing mundane/magical/high tech to boost a PC's INT score.

With all this in mind and being very aware of Marty being a fucking asshole, Cael was made into something of a helper monkey who was good with tools in order to facilitate the players. Regarding Darya, who used weapons that were "highly illegal" and not supported by Blackspire (Wait what? The GIA doesn't like their MONSTER HUNTING secret against to have sniper rifles or grenade launchers?) and Darya made bad rolls on being Streetwise to find more weapons and ammo in Chicago. (Marty's interpretation of "Bad Roll" meaning she'd walk into a random bar, flash a round from a grenade launcher at the bartender and ask "Know anybody who sells more of these?")

>OP is going to have surgery later today to cut out a festering rage-tumor at this retardation.

Now, extra bit from the outside the blog is that Marty demands enough control over a PC's backstory to make sure they fit into his "Timeline/Setting/Novelization". This is why no PC's have 18<INT, Lily was secretly a spy for the friendly lich society, and Cael is a member of the Scions of Forever.
>Gonna need Cthulhu expert for the next post...
>OP is going to have surgery later today to cut out a festering rage-tumor at this retardation.
Still better than a hate-boner. They have some sort of unnatural mental effect to continually stroke it. And it only becomes flaccid once justice has been lain down.
Mine has been going strong for >4 Hours. I think I need to visit a doctor.
Unrelated but still horrible question.
What are the rest of his self assigned stat scores?
18 strength, 18 dex, 18 wis, 18 con, and 20 charisma.
-10 san.
Ian is expy because he's written a few settings of his own. I'm gonna hazard a guess that Ian's player actually let people edit his settings though, which makes his (Know what, I'm stealing a line from the last thread) Autysm powers weaker than Vamp!Marty.

>Because lord knows, jizzing on a cocktail napkin and writing "Im a god" on it makes you more powerful than George Lucas, Stephen King or Tolkien-
>Oh wait, Marty didn't allow Tolkien into his multiverse, something about not counting anything written before 1950...anyway

'Kay, Cthulhu expert in the house? How badly did the Scions of Forever get raped by Marty?

They are a cult of Yog-Sothoth, and they are an excuse for the GM to fiat Just as Planned bullshit, as they believe the future is inevitable and work to bring it about more easily....
...does this sound like the MIC to anyone else? Regarding "WHY DO YOU EXIST!?!", except with the added 'benefit' of the DM needing a Bard stand-in so the "Bardic Knowledge" check can give the PC's a map of the Railroad tracks.
(which in Marty's games, lead right off a fucking cliff)
In this case it would be "Yog-Sothoth's Guidance" (My term, not Marty-ism) and when Cael want's to know what Yog-Sothoth desires of him?
>"You have no idea"
...........why do YOU exist Marty? Seriously?

Marty on the Scions: They have no cult structure, they simply get visions from Papa-Yoga that they have to interpret, and then do whatever they want with their interpretation. Also, they are exempt from pursuit by the Hounds of Tindalos (wt Ftag'n), which Marty takes to mean "If Cael get's sent through a time portal, he won't be eaten" and nothing else...gonna need an assistant to tell me how retarded that is...
CthulhusApprentice, anyone?

Cael was also made para-psychic to test the system, which Marty had only half done, except for a "Burn" mechanic which meant GM Fiat, your power's activate for an indefinite period of time.
>>Oh wait, Marty didn't allow Tolkien into his multiverse, something about not counting anything written before 1950...anyway
The Lord of the Rings, according to Wikipedia at any rate, were published in 1954/5, though they were written before 1950.
And since I doubt that Marty is knowledgeable enough to remember that, I'm going to go with "Because he was a dick," for $100 ApprenticeWriteFag.
>DM needing a Bard stand-in so the "Bardic Knowledge" check can give the PC's a map of the Railroad tracks.
What the fuck man. You have a whole list of skills, redundant skills, and you let railroad tracks be pathed out using bardic knowledge?!

I'm no cthulusapprentice, but that is pretty fucking retarded.
The hounds live in the past and inhabit the angles of time and follow people across time and space.
But no, jump through a time portal and these bloody time travelling fucking unstoppable hounds will just have to give up.
Cael was created to be helpful to the players by knowing his way around tools in case Marty dumped their high-tech asses in a low-tech setting and went "LAWL UR SKILZ R UUSLES NAOW!!!"

Marty made Cael a Scion of Forever as a DM mouthpiece (Via needing to waste skill points on the Ritual skill...at least it's just one...) and Para-psychic to drop the usefulness quotient by 1/2. (Or that's OP interpretation anyway)

Cael had to like the Tagers, because he'd be a mediator between them and the GIA. He had to be 'secret agent' type but not too connected to government or the Tager's wouldn't trust him.
Secret agent, but not too much? Kinda retarded, more so the implication that the party sans Cael shouldn't need an intermediary for the Tagers considering what they've done for them (except for the Tager helping them getting killed...okay maybe there does need to be a little mediation)

ZeRoller meditated, and came back with a Para-psychic underground railroad, as the OIS (Magical FBI/NSA/SS) requires Para-psychics to be registered and wear emblems/badges outting them as such when in public. Since the Tagers are also OIS blacklisted, shouldn't be to hard to say he/The Underground Slidewalk/Scions have the number of a local Tager group, fugitives sticking together and all that. Plus, since SoF are "I CAN SEE THE FUUTUUUURE!", he'd probably resist the OIS via sabotage.

Marty "agreed" (in that he didn't say 'no' but instead broke the concept over his knee as hard as he could) and added
>Cael can't have done anything too noteworthy, or the OIS would've killed him.
>Cael only had ~12 helpers "Because the OIS is NOT evil, dude! And everybody else is gonna think your group are traitors/psychos!"

ZeRoller warned Marty that Cael was gonna have a lot of Science and Knowledge skills and he was gonna be as crazy as possible because "it's a system test/in character/what I do"
>“Well, this is a system test. Go ahead, do your worst, dude.”
>“Well, this is a system test. Go ahead, do your worst, dude.”
It begins?
>>“Well, this is a system test. Go ahead, do your worst, dude.”
Mayhaps Marty can be immortalised in the same name as Henderson, not as a saint, but an apostate. Nay! Not even that, for an apostate requires that a person be a believer in the first place, Marty never had that faith.


Damn Marty the Anti-Christ DM! Damn him to hell!
The bardic knowledge bit is one I'M familiar with, as DM's as somebody to have knowledge in SOMETHING in case the party gets stuck.

And my interpretation of the Hounds bit was that the Scions are supposed to get an actual benefit from being "immune to pursuit" and Marty nerfed it to mean "No, if you go through a time portal, you're safe and that's it." (guess who never get's thrown through a time portal and has an effectively useless benefit!)

And here comes something that I take as a cardinal rule of RPG's:
"If having fun means tricking the DM, one of you is a HUGE goddamn That Guy and in either case, somebody's gonna have a bad time."

So with Cael being given the "Go ahead" to be a demo-man freedom fighter, and Marty reveals he's a retarded, prejudiced cunt.
>"Alright, so I'll need to be making bombs. Am I going to have access to high-proof alcohol?"
>"Why, are you making [Your character] Irish?"
>"....yes. Yes I am and so are all my followers, and also my PC is a smoker."

So Cael has the excuse of carrying around a lighter and accelerant at all times. Cause Marty thinks 1+1=Potatoe sucker. Although he might have realized he fucked up a bit after that.
>"Does Chicago have one distinct fashion style?"
>"What? No."
>"So wearing a greatcoat wouldn't be noticed?"
>"How much stuff can I hide under a greatcoat?"
>"...not much considering the police will frisk you every time you're seen outside and people will randomly call the police about a suspicious person every 5 minutes for wearing something so unusual."
Further activities Cael was involved in that Marty took the "you're USELESS" bat to involved being the grandson of a founder of the Underground Slidewalk (ZeRoller's term and I'm using it cause it's silly) and attracting the Scions attention when he escaped New York before it was destroyed in the first Aeon war (already Marty's being dumb cause there were no survivors canonically).
>>"Why, are you making [Your character] Irish?"
>>"....yes. Yes I am and so are all my followers, and also my PC is a smoker."
>>"Why don't you make him Russian instead? You'll get access to 1 half-full bottle of Vodka at all times. Make him British and you'll get a full tea-set restockable at any good teastore for a pittance."

How Marty could have played that off as a joke instead of coming off as a cunt.

Since Marty wouldn't allow Cael to have done something important to become a Scion, he said
>"They saw you helping them in the future and recruited you because that's how timey-wimey stuff works, and you don't know what that means because you're too low rank to think in that flavor of crazy, and they're the reason you're para-psychic, because of paradox."
HA! Marty said something that made me laugh! "Can't think in a particular flavor of crazy", Oh Marty, you and your Freudian slips!

Cael got sevearl para-psychic powers: Small illusions, Suggestion, Force Bolt and Mass, and remember SUE system Magic rules. Use a spell slot to add a normal spell effect, which has to be cast at the same time as the spell you want to use, at a heightened DC. Mass= Use magic on 2 targets at once. Besides that bullshit, Suggestion is effectively useless because:
A: have to be within 30'
B: have to say OUT LOUD what you want the person your suggesting to do while making Fatigue saves
C: If it works, they will do it "If it's in line with their basic personality and they were going to do it anyway."
Why does that even fucking exist? Oh right, cause that's 'appropriately' leveled, and more importantly was 1 of the 3 splits from Telepathy because ZeRoller brought up a hypothetical future power "Where I help an ally focus on a task by reading their mental, damping extraneous thoughts and giving them extra focus.".
>Boom, Telepathy is now three different powers: Suggestion, Reception, and Communication.
And besides that, Telepathy "Doesn't give you access to their mental hardware. Your messing with their mind, not their brain."
But...but...thoughts ARE the mind...YOU CAN'T EVEN GET YOUR OWN RULES RIGHT!?! W-THE ACTUAL-F!?

Marty nerfed Force Bolt from a "mental pistol shot" to a "Projection of damage" when ZeRoller asked about denting things or setting off shock-sensitive explosives. This will be on top of his usual "-2 for having a hangnail" BS.
>when ZeRoller asked
I'd think that ZeRoller would stop asking what he could do beforehand and just ask at the time it becomes pertinent, but then I remembered, Marty is a dumb-fuck asshole who would just say "No." and when pressed why respond with "[Bull & Shit]".
Not quite. Apparently ZeRoller had good luck that day as he got 2 17's, 2 16's, an 11 and a 13, though the only known allocation was STR=11, WIS=13, and CHA=16. Course Marty had to be a cunt and say the CHA was more "A force of personality rather than being good looking."
And that is going to be VERY VERY SIGNIFICANT later for what was the most Rage inducing statement to come out of this fuckers face-hole regarding people in general and women in particular. Fem-anons you have been warned.

So, Cael is a freedom fighter who lives in an abandoned bar in the undercity, along with a dozen other "Activist hobo's" and joined the Scions because they said he could have a Puppy of Tindalos of he proved he could be responsible. He was good at improvising, especially because he made Comp Use checks to get old Army tech manuals on improvised explosives, and never left home without a toolset in a messenger bag that cost most of his starting wealth. That last bit is because Marty cut his SW in half, saying
>"Your character wouldn't be so maladjusted if he were rich."
Marty is a Furfag for Scrooge McDuck, I swear to God. Or he'd willingly whore himself out to Donald Trump.

In either case, that's Cael, and on with the show!
>>"Your character wouldn't be so maladjusted if he were rich."
I'm sure he's used that line before.

Though with that line of knowledge why din't he get maluses in other games for "not being broken enough to kill someone and live with it". Guess the other people were too good for this earth.
Better to find out ahead of time so the cunt couldn't wait until Cael almost killed himself trying to do one of those things and go "Oh it doesn't work like that! So you wasted that spell, isn't that just too bad so sad? ^_^"
So, the first mission from Yog-Sothoth to Cael is "There's something that's going to happen, and it's so important even I don't know what it is, and that scares me!"
>Waiting for the Cthulhlian Anon's to RAGE at that statement..
>"Your mission is to find a group of Tagers who're meeting their Blackspire handlers (the party) and make sure it goes Keikaku Dori, and then convince them to find an item coming from Nanjing under Dhohanoid guard to a certain cargo bay and steal it."
"Alright so I'll call the Tagers-"
>"You can't do that, because Scions just show up when they're supposed to, so you don't have a phone number, email or anything else."
"How long have I been working with them?"
>"5 years, and you need to go NOW to Toby's Bar for the meeting and don't have enough time to grab your gear except for a sub-sonic needle gun that's TOTALLY not a useless weapon against evil were-shoggoths."
OP: Taking bets, who thinks the needlers do 1d2-2 damage or something equally fucking stupid?

Toby's bar is "completely generic" and full to capacity at 9 AM, with somebody drinking "neat vodka". Marty hates alcohol, and like everything else in his life, anything he doesn't like is inherently inferior to his preference and he won't deign lessen his retardation by learning about it.
>To be fair, I had to look up what 'neat' meant. Mean's it's not mixed with anything, not even ice. Somebody's drinking room temperature vodka at 9 AM, they have almost as many issues as Marty.

So Cael orders "What ever is the most concentrated, to go" which is why he sat in on a 'watershed moment' with a 128 ounces of 191-proof liqour in a to-go cup, complete with straw.

Next, the Were-Sues!
Its not that bardic knowledge shouldn't work. Its that marty had a whole encyclopedia of skill trees that was incredibly needlessly specific, but suddenly that's not important. I know its expected of him, but still.

>"Why, are you making [Your character] Irish?"
Haha, oh wow.

So the 2 GIA are of course Darya and Jin, whereas the 4 Tager's are more of Marty's "Watch as my special snowflakes save the lives of your worthless PC's!" NPC Sue's.
First is Nery, who is a Nazzadi (Aliens created by Migo, live alongside humans because they defected, think humans with pitch-black skin and sharper teeth) and is a chain-smoking alcoholic, and she's the Operator for these Tagers. (agent, go-between for society and the voice of reason since Tager's are whacked out from their Eldritch hitchhikers).
Marco is the Kebab-Hobo. Okay he's the pack leader, but come on he runs a kebab stand and doesn't have a home! He's also got a chip on his shoulder, and can fly/shred things with his claws in his Vampire form. (as opposed to BEING a vampire...)
Jill is a Spectre, which I have no clue about except she can phase through walls. This is Marty's version of an "Ice Queen". As opposed to a Strong Female Character (Tempurus Maximus with tits), Marty literally described Jill as being tsundere.
>Considering Marty's usual handling of such complex characters, I'm gonna say she's Narusegawa from Love Hina, and follow that up by saying "Fuck THIS bitch TOO!"
Then there's...Lily...
No, not GOOD Lily. This Lily is "Kinda-Genki" (motherfucking weeaboo trash) and a Nightmare, which is a Super-tager that has shoulder pimple cannons (fucking seriously?) and can breath a 400 ft beam of FUCK YOU!!! once a day.

Other than that, there's other meaningless Tager's and the Archivist Phil
>"Who's the most beta guy you can imagine."
and any attempts by the party to talk to him are shot down because "it's just not done."

And with the meeting over, Cael uses all the subtlety and grace of a ballerina through a plate-glass window and says "Something from Nanjing is being moved through the city, we should totally go get it."

I ain't gonna blame ZeRoller on that one, cause it's Marty and actual subtlety would've hurt his brain meats.
>There's something that's going to happen, and it's so important even I don't know what it is, and that scares me!
It's fucking not!marty innit?

I feel bad for Phil.
>And that is going to be VERY VERY SIGNIFICANT later for what was the most Rage inducing statement to come out of this fuckers face-hole regarding people in general and women in particular. Fem-anons you have been warned.

The more and more I learn about this Marty guy, the more he sounds like Elliot Rogers

Plans to take down the air truck (Cthulhutech has flying cars) hauling the thing-from-Nanjing are Marty'ed down to "Let's go to the cargo bay and grab it."

Reason's for the Marty-fication?
>"No NEG (the Gubamint!) assets are in the area" (Cthulhutech, Chicago is the new Washington DC, so that' s EXTRA retarded)
>"They're in a hole in the defensive grid, so you can't flag them for AA guns to shoot down"
>"You can't intercept them while in flight"
>"You can't track them"
>"You can't go outside the Arc because the AA guns will shoot you."

"Good luck storming the hangar!"
("think it'll work?")
("It'd take a miracle") "Bye-bye!"

And as for weapons, Cael get's a smoke bomb and Darya's the only PC with something heavier than a pistol. They get to the hangar which is set-up perfectly retarded for a and Cael acts as a distraction so the party can hide behind some boxes inside.

(Hmm, I'm holding strong booze) "Hey Marty, do they allow pet's in the Arc's? They do?"
*splash splash*
"Heerrree kitty kitty kitty!" *Hic!* "Heerrree Mishter Mishtoffeleesh!"

Course the distraction doesn't last long. (Pet's are available, but only with a very rare license so the guards got bonus's to their Sense Motive checks) but it helps out the team as Cael get's escorted out.

Then the fighting starts, and I predict /tg/ will love ZeRoller even more, and feel much better about Jin, despite being a friend of Marty's.
Oh dear, fucking God, why didn't I think of that? Marty is totally going to jam his [strike]dick[/strike] his Self-Insert into the campaign.
ctrl+s newfriend
I think he was trying to go for a strikethrough.
[strikethrough]will this work?[/strikethrough]
From what I can tell [s] text [/s] should be the format. But given that /tg/ went through a period where there spoilers didnt work, maybe they didn't put it back in?

Fuck goes that then. Just one more reason why best-chan is better than this-chan.

SHILLING MODE: dis-engaged
I was just glad /tg/ got spoilers.
It was pretty nice in the days when people used to politely sage their really off topic posts.
So 4 guys show up carrying a black box about a foot square, and it's on like Donkey Kong as the guards and these shmucks are all Dhohanoids. Darya drops because 2 of them are armed with paralytic needles, and the Needlers can't get through the Dhohanoids DR, leaving everything up to the SUE squad. Marco is nowhere in sight, and the others are "wavering" from being showered with poison needles as furry hands come out of the floor and disembowel one of the enemies, prompting 2 "Demonic butterflies" to fly around and rain dual-wield pistol fire on the SUE-squad.

I will admit that sounds like something of a badass scenario, except NONE OF THOSE ARE PC'S!

Cael shows up and decides to use his "weapon" (smoke grenade) to cover up the doorway, and discovers the intricacies of precise grenade usage:
>"You have Demolitions but not Military Explosives. -5."
>"You haven't studied the grenade. -2."
>"You're in combat. -2."
and so on, until Cael makes a wild guess, covers the door in smoke and makes an illusion of a power armor helmet (used by Arc Cops) on his hand, and sticks it out the doorway, shouting "OIS! EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND NOW!!!"
Besides fact that making something helmet sized "stretched the limit" of the Illusion and raised the DC, Marty says:
>"Level one illusions are semi-real and indistinct."
Yeah. That's why he popped a smoke grenade first you rules-lawyering cuntrag.
This buys the PC's one round of free-fire, where Ian switchs to an acid-bolt spell and damages a Dhohanoid (*GASP* Useful PC's!!!) and Jin starts futzing with his PDA.

Then one Dhohanoid gives Ian a hug ("Try to be useful in MY game!? WELCOME TO GRAPPLING HELL BITCH!"), and another attacks Cael, who discovers that his illusions break on damage. Kinda thing he probably would've known earlier, don'tcha think?
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>"You're in combat. -2."
>negative modifiers for using a weapon in combat
I have to ask, did Marty ever have to suffer through his own system?
Given that his system made everyone else useless but gave him absolute power, and the fact that no one sane would run the system. I think not.
I mean have him run a normal PC whilst someone else DM's. Surely he will not pull his "I am almight gurd!!" bullshit when he's just a normal PC, right?

Motherfucker would just say that vamp!Marty should do whatever he wants because of that "psychic link."
>"You haven't studied the grenade. -2."

Studied the...It's a fucking grenade! You pull the pin and lob it at the enemy! Not exactly rocket science.
Now I got a mental image of the character holding the grenade up to his eyes and ccarefully pondering its existance before throwing it.

So that was combat for awhile. Darya failed her paralysis saves, Ian had to fight off cousin It (who was screaming WO DA AIREN!!!), and Jin fiddled with tech while Cael riverdanced around bullets. (And found out his Mind-bullet requires "Expansive, Full-body Movements". Great, so Marty invented fucking "Mind Bending", That's just...)

I'm trademarking that. Fuck y'all I'm writing that down now, cause that's brilliant, I just need to fluff it..

Huh? Oh yeah, so Jill kills the one shooting darts at Cael and one of Satan's Butterfree's grabs the box and tries to fly away.

Only to be stopped by Marco who drops into the hangar from Outside the Arc. So much for "AA Guns will track you" huh?

Quick confirmation from Marty that Dhohanoids can shrug off small arms' fire and the PC's can't do anything to damage them, Jin and Cael make for the truck.
Cael: "I'm gonna hotwire the truck!"
>"That's Security"
"I have that skill"
>"I mean, it's Electronics!"
"I have that too!"
>"Fine, go for it."

Jin jumps in and Cael slides over to let him drive. (from blog)
>Me: “Can you drive?”
>Jin: “Let’s find out.” With this perfect devil-may-care grin.

Apparently they aren't cleared, except they aren't leaving the Hangar, they're going to use a several tone flying hammer against Abaddon's Favorite Pokemon. They barely make the damage roll to squash the fucker, and it "Bends the frame" so they can't stay level. A few drive checks to remain stable result in Jin saying "Fuck Stable!" and they fly over to Ian and his own personal Pepe Le Pew while Cael get's his shillelagh ready.
From blog.
>Jin: “Come on, say it.”
>Me: “I’m not going to say it.”
>Jin: “Say itttt…”
>Me: sigh “’Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my stick.’”

And that is why Jin and ZeRoller are awesome.
No living person would choose to run the system though. So it's a moot point.
If people can wish to become the New Satan, along with the drawbacks that entails, just so that they can torture the Old Satan, I'm sure that someone, somewhere is willing to run this system just to orally fist Marty with his own fecal matter.
Actually, given the rules. If you run this system, you are a co-auth-well you are also an authyst, So that nerfs Vamp!marty to fuck all levels of power if you desire it.
Run it with a rotating dm. Drain the setting of all it's power. Have the super cunt devil that is marty himself participate as you destroy his power fantasy. So this is what a true hate-boner is like.
And Marty had to suck that brief spark of fun out of the players by saying "There's a flat 50% chance that you'll hit Ian."
...Flying truck, with a guy hanging out the passenger side, intending to club a nasty monster that is sitting ON TOP of his ally, and it's a coin flip if he'll hit the guy SPREAD-EAGLE UNDER THE FUCKING WERE-SHOGGOTH!
I know what to call Marty's game system now. "Fun is Zero-sum, The Game!"

So they fail that role, but Lily has NO issue blasting the ugly fucker with her pimple cannons, leaving 1 Dhohanoid left. After failing a drive/fly check and flipping the truck over, there's a brief discussion of capturing the last guy, which lasts as long as it takes to back the truck up and smash the last enemy into a wall.

Combat over, the Tager's take the box and make plans to meet at at Toby's later, and Marty wanks himself silly describing his snowflakes "melting into the crowd". The PC's leave and Ian let's Cael share half his apartment (so much for abandoned slum bar, eh Marty?), and it turns out the bastard is pissed off.

Not for Cael having a nice place to live, but because the PC's killed 2 Dhohanoids, and his Snowflakes killed 4. However, none of his Snowflakes have more than 1 notch on their belts for whacked fuglies, and he just couldn't tolerate his players being more effective than even ONE of his super-awesome creations.

This guy needs to be castrated, for the good of humanity, seriously.

Oh, and Bonus: Marty is more sane and reasonable about his game when he's BEHIND the DM screen than he is outside of sessions. Take from THAT what you will...
>Oh, and Bonus: Marty is more sane and reasonable about his game when he's BEHIND the DM screen than he is outside of sessions. Take from THAT what you will...
I like to imagine he lords himself over everybody he meets, and informs them of his psionic prowess and power over the multiverse which exists because he created it. In reality he's probably just a really fucking cringeworthy weeaboo, but this is forever what I shall believe of him in my mind.
>>My intrigue is peaked to hell and back again, if I give you an e-mail address can you send me the link to the original thread? I NEED to know exactly what the hell was said, first-hand. It's like being splashed with acid that and wanting to get more on you because the first acid-splash was so interesting you had to have more!
Hey now, I enjoy neat vodka, although not at 9 AM
If you did then you might be a communist Russian.
It's been 2+ Hours. Either OP is a faggot and fucked off, suffered brain trauma from what he has read and is in a coma/dead, or he's found better things to do with her time than entertain us with stories of a mentally-immature- I'm sorry, any swears and slurs that I throw at Marty will never be enough to encapsulate even a single iota of what the fuck he is.
He failed a large sanity check at the horrors man was not meant to see
That might actually be true. Is it possible for their to be sanity checks (in Call of Cthulhu) to avoid descending into inarticulate rage?
This will take days anon. Days of torment where we just can't look away.

We are witnessing just a diluted sample of the /tg/ necronomicon.
Fucking off for some sleep, don't let this thread die, Anons. We must find out how the story of Marty ends.
You can get a temporary homicidal mania or temporary brief psychosis

However Marty might straddle the fine line between making one temporarily insane and indefinitely insane

Not cause of Marty, but rather the circumstances.
>6-year old nephew loves Ghost Busters.
>Little theatre in town is showing both movies.
>With a local group that dresses like GB for birthdays.
I figure I'll be a good uncle and take him to see the movies and the group. On the way, I use my phone to update the thread with "Back in a few hours"


For something that supposedly (DIDN'T) happened in MARCH! Considering I posted yesterday just fine (hence the one update with the Leprechaun tag), this is some BS.

Well, looks like Im in the proper mood to continue the story however!!!
The very forces of the internet want you to stop OP.
Don't listen to them. Finish the ritual. Continue, despite the pleas to bring an end to the suffering. Everything must burn.

And with that, I'm going to sleep. Fellow anons keep the thread bumped between OPs breaks.

Fucking marty.
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Do it. Be the uncle. Make the memories!
Dumb things with phones...
We are glad you are back.
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When we last left our heroes, they had stolen a Macguffin and Cael was now living with Ian in an apartment, while Jin and Darya shared another. Cthulhutech has a bit with their magic system, that people need to make intricate ritual circles and strange requirements that Marty was all too happy to play into for Cael when he was making his 5-foot ring to talk with Papa-Yoga. The reason Marty liked it was:
A: it was meaningless busy work, and nothing get's him off like forms signed in triplicate.
B: It meant Cael/ZeRoller had to make a lot of checks in the SUE skills, which ties into-
C: Ian had summoned a couple of dragons "from beyond time and space" awhile back and they were the Dragons of Eternity, shrunken to the size of housecats. Marty took a lot of pleasure in describing how the little bastards fucked with Cael's ritual preparations, and Cael decides to tell some story's to get the lizards focused on something else besides bugging him.

Caels stories involve the Fenian Circle (OP:...I got nuthin', was dis?) and hopes the lizards will take his stories of "crazy effective warriors" and be inspired to hunt mice.
The Dragons (Marty) heard "Fianna" and thought "Irish ninjas".

>I can't even...nope, not going to ask, nope.

Anyway, the Dragons start playing hide-and-seek, which might not have been the exact result Cael wanted, but hey close enough! So he sits down to get an actual vision from Yog-Sothoth, instead of the pre-interpreted one from earlier, and God fucking DAMMIT Marty can you NOT be a time-wasting Fucktard even ONCE!?!

Recall Marty's idea of the Scions is that the visions they get have to be interpreted? Recall how fucking retarded his ritual/prophecy stuff was from the first thread? Yeah, 3 pages that had to be read through by Zeroller to tell him something that could have been summed up in 3 sentences.
>Tomorrow you will sit down to a meeting with the Tagers, and be ambushed by Dhohanoids and a Byakhee (OP:?)
Byakhee are critters that serve Hastur, however they're composed of normal matter and can be damaged by mundane weapons, they can also fly through space, they're mostly summoned from spess to be used as steeds
Also they aren't notably hardy, if you shot one with a shotgun it would die
So the previous post has the layout of Toby's bar, and with foresight of an ambush incoming, it's time for a Reverse-Akbar, using the layout of the bar and Arcologies in general to Cael's advantage.

Shouldn't be too hard since Marty's idea of architecture involves ALL THE SQUARES AND BOXES EVER.

Seriously, Cthulhutech (apparently) designs it's Arcologies as being pyramids-ish, but Marty says the Chicago Arcology is Final Fantasy 7 Midgar in Box form, with 5 layers instead of 2, and no structural supports scattered throughout. This made ZeRoller a little nuts cause "HOW DOES WRONG SO HARD?!?" and asked Marty why the citizens/whoever didn't make the buildings reach the "Ceiling" and act as supports. (Marty said there was 5 feet of space between them)
>"Because they put gardens on top of the buildings."

Plus on the map, the "Slidewalk"? A conveyor belt for people who don't want to use their hover-car, but can't be bothered to lift their feet.

So, Toby's is on the ground floor of this Arc and built into a corner, (Blog quote) "Like everything else"

>How...oh my God, you hear that Marty!? That is physics and she is curled up on the floor SOBBING because of you!!!

So, the Dhonanoids are going to come down through that passage behind the bar, and the byakhee (IF somebody didn't answer in previous post, dafuq're those?) is going to land on the slidewalk outside.

Cael's first move is to call his associates in the Underground Slidewalk. Which is now 6 instead of ~ or >12 because:
>“not many people want to play Psycho Pan and the Lost Boys with you, dude.”

In other words a Marty backlash/hissy-fit for his players daring to have fun and do things in his game.

This however gave Zeroller an idea and when I get to it, I'm just gonna copy it from the blog cause I can't do it justice.
Ah, thank you! Wasn't sure people would jump on that right away! Also makes this next bit even more retarded.

So Cael goes shopping. And his list reads
>A toothbrush, high-test fishing line, Yamaha children’s recorders, air horns, high-pressure piping, several potted plants, several bowling balls, a shopping cart, plywood, an umbrella, charcoal, an old oil barrel and time for scrapyard shenanigans.

Now what he did was left out of the blog so the Gubamint didn't break into his house and drag him away for spreading around bomb-making instructions. Cause it's patently obvious that's what he was gonna do.

The source however....ohhh, when he asked about stuff he could make/use (IN THE GAME FBI, MAKE-BELIEVE!!!) he got suggested some things that are just plain fucking NASTY regarding chemicals to use on Dhohanoids. Chlorine Trifloride was one, and somebody just linked to a blog called "In the Pipeline" and a post labeled "Things I won't work with".

Course all that did was get Marty to ban chemistry...but I'll save that for a later post.
[s]because no, I don't mean the Skill Chemistry. He banned so many chemical reactions from his setting that is is beyond retarded[/s]

Anyway, 2 of the guy's make a net out of the fishing line and hook the bowling balls to it, which will be hidden in the potted plants.
>"Your not gonna catch a byakhee with that dude, why bother?"
"Not trying to catch the byakhee, Marty."
>"Then why make a net?"
"To fuck up it's wings in mid-air and send it into a 5-story free fall. And pelt it with bowling balls for good measure."
>"....It'll be able to see the net."
OP: Fucking really?
>"Oh my God...could the legends be true!? Has he really become, the Legendary SUPER-CUNT!?!"
Fortunately ZeRoller can pull Mie Scattering, and I don't know what that is but what I infer is that it's a kind of "Smoke cover" trick like he pulled at the hangar, because of what I'm about to copy from the blog.

>I have another two go grab a load of the cheapest meat they can find, along with a bunch of charcoal and certain chemicals good at producing smoke when chucked into a fire a bit at a time.
>Apparently this only costs $50 in crazy future money – and better yet, Marty has no idea what solicitation is, so we can park the thing right outside Toby’s all day.
>After much sawing/ painting of plywood and bolting of oil drum grills into a hacked-apart shopping cart (and twenty-six Repair checks), Crazy Pete’s BBQ was born: quite possibly the most ramshackle barbeque stand ever wired to energetically deconstruct itself.
>“Pete” himself was told, more or less, to arm the thing and walk quickly away at my signal – but just in case, his “Kiss the Cook” apron was also a partial plate carrier and we hid a helmet in his oversized chef hat. Let no one say I don’t take care of my people.
>Heck, he even spent the night practicing grilling.

I wasn't gonna try to paraphrase that, I'm sorry.

The rest had to be done by Cael and his 'security' expert. The key word there is "Security" because that is a skill that Cael has trained, but it's separate from Open Lock and after Cael hacked a back-alley security camera, he fucked up picking the lock on Toby's backdoor. Which resulted in him marring the face of the lock.

Now, I'm just spitballing, but I'm guessing that Marty would use this kind of a thing as an excuse for an NPC/DMPC/Enemy or a FUCKING MOLERAT that somehow has a Spot check of 80 to notice the mark and realize somebody picked the lock. Which is why he got called out on it and...ugh...

I swear to the Emperor, I'd ship Marty to Comorragh in a big pink bow and a note:
>Keep him alive, but otherwise, have FUN!!!
So I heard one of Marty's players started the SUEpocalypse thread on /tg/ a few years ago. Weeks or months after SUEpocalypse, someone created a crossover rules/setting similar to Marty's SUE-niverse, and then a day or two after, someone ran a TG Meta Quest that was based on said rules.

I wonder how many or if these people involved were Marty's former players.

...then for a short while other anons made spin off quests based off TG Meta Quest.
So Marty's excuse on why a brass tensioner could scratch a lock made of tool steel?
>"I didn't see that tool on there."
ZeRoller had picked out the BRAND of toolkit/lockpick and messaged it to Marty with a list of what was in the kit, and Marty said it was fine.
>"But I didn't see that tool on there."

What about a mirror Marty? Can you see a tool in there? CAUSE I SURE AS FUCK CAN!!

Now the trick that ZeRoller/Cael is trying to pull is make it so that nobody dies except the enemies. No PC's, no Tager's, no civilians, just fuck-uglies. To that end the bar is almost rigged when "It's dawn, you don't have time to finish." and it's a problem because Cael has had the chance to rig up something to negate Dhohanoid thermal-vision (Working on assumption since the fuckers can apparently deadeye people in complete darkness), but comes up with a simple solution in the form of a text to Darya.
>"If anyone asks, you drink neat Everclear."
Tricking the imbecilic DM's for fun and profit!

Sabotage in the kitchen and towels stuffed in the toilets, everything is as ready as it can be, and all the supplies from the shopping list have been used up. Except the toothbrush, but that's not a supply, that's the alibi.

>“Your dragons ate my toothbrush, so I had to get a new one.” Thus the toothbrush in my hand.
>“At 4 AM?”
>“Oral hygiene is very important.”

Meeting up with Darya and Jin, it turns out dissidents attacked a shipping depot yesterday and a weird glitch meant none of the security cameras caught what happened. (Jin with the PDA of Doom FTW) Then Jin throws Cael a Guy Fawks mask and makes a comment about being more careful about showing his face.

Stage is set! Players Ready?
Depends on how the timeline matches, When was the SUEpocalypse thread made? (read through it once myself, I liked it) Cause the Source of all this was in the first quarter of 2013.

Might be them, might be coincidental, depends on the timeframe

At Toby's they pass by the ramshackle grill spewing smoke near the front door, and head in to see the Tager's scattered around. Jin and Ian sit in a booth, while Darya get's nudged to sit on a stool opposite the hallway. Cael walks in a little behind the main group and when Marty informs him that a couple of jocks are leering at Darya, he walks up to her and Mass Suggests "Well, I say! I'd think men would be tripping over themselves to buy you drinks! What're you having?"
"Neat Everclear apparently."

And since Marty has autysm, and doesn't know how alcohol or the various social functions around alcohol work, Darya ends up with 100 liters of Everclear on the bar in front of her. (because buying a girl booze is supposed to work better if its in bulk, right?)

And then, the sequence I'm not going to disgrace by Ad-libbing.

At that point, Marty tells me I hear the phrase I’d heard “about half a minute” before things started in the vision, and I start the countdown music over a conference call with the lads. After that Lost Boys crack, could it be anything but Skrillex?

>Shout to all my lost boys… Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shout to all my lost boys…

Pete’s at the BBQ stand, of course, and I have a lady on the opposite roof garden chilling with camera glasses. Both are in place, and tap their mics.

>We rowdy.

Everything works. No one’s in the bathroom because it’s out of order, and the kitchen staff have the day off until someone can come by and fix the kitchen.

Then I ask where Toby is. Apparently he’s right in the danger zone, mixing drinks. I order something from the far end; apparently “he’ll be busy for a few minutes.”

Right, new plan – and again, I must stress that I am bad at improv. Hey, Toby keeps the truncheon in case of bar fights, right?

I spontaneously hug Jill.

Tager reflexes are as quick as I hoped; she punches me out of the booth and into the bar, breaking Darya’s stool and the adjacent one with my spine. She gets up, still incensed, and Toby goes for his stick just in time, while Pete starts walking right on cue.

Finally, everyone’s out of the way, with literally a second left to go, and I put on my mask.

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>Darya ends up with 100 liters of Everclear on the bar in front of her.
>100 liters of Everclear on the bar in front of her.
>100 liters of Everclear
Isn't this Protectors of the Plot Continuum, or Editors (1d4chan)? aka TG Meta Quest?
Editors/Meta Quest was in mid-2011. Suepocalypse was somewhere in 2011 or late 2010.

When were the Martyverse campaigns ran?
So there's an explosion from outside and all sorts of flaming shrapnel comes flying out of the back, and would have shredded Jill if she hadn't been pissed off enough to morph and phase through it. The Everclear is spilled across the bar and Cael lights it on fire.
>"You just tripped the sprinklers!"
Yeah, Water on an ethanol fire, which means it's going to take a HELL of awhile to dilute the 26.4 (thanks anon!) gallons of Everclear enough to put the fire out.

So everybody is ready for a fight, and lay into the "Hairless Wookie cyclopses and burnt octopi" that come out from the back of the bar with machine guns, pimple cannons and "YOU DIDN'T NEED THOSE KIDNEYS ANYWAY!" from Marco. They can't shoot through the flames for shit (Can't imagine how much that must have pissed off Marty, realizing the Uber-L33T thermal vision was negated), but manage to tag Nery in the shoulder, and when Darya grabbed her to drag to safety, she got lasered in the chest.
>Hear that? That's the sound of the set-up to how God will be proven real or not. Because if there's any justice in this world, what Marty said cause of that means he will NEVER reproduce...that's after the fight though...

The monsters go the long way around the bar rather than jumping over it, and the civvies have long since "NOPE!"ed the fuck outta there, so the PC's make their escape. This is when the Byakhee comes in, pissed as hell at being turned into Sephiroth (one winged, yuk-yuk) and Ian and Jin run into a night gaunt (?) outside.

And that's where Jin took control of the Slide-walks via his PDA, and the night gaunt (?) probably screamed something akin to "ALL OF MY HATE!!!" in an Elder tongue as it was continuously thrown on it's ass by the shifting floor.
Slidewalk manipulation tossed Darya and Nery around a bit, though Darya did leave a present by way of a frag grenade. No Dhohanoids came out of the bar, which means it's PC's versus night gaunt. The REAL FUCKING HEROES (fuck Vamp!Marty) do pretty well via satchel charges and slapstick humiliation with the ugly bastard standing on giant conveyor belts. Then they run out of boom and it get's a bit scary.

Which is when Cael chucks an airhorn/recorder bomb, since the night gaunt doesn't have eyes and it's pretty reasonable to infer that the damn thing's got really good ears. Making a Repair roll so it lands correctly (Really? Fucking really?), Marty declares that everybody goes deaf and all the windows around them shatter cause he doesn't know how sound works. It stuns the night gaunt long enough for the OIS to show up and kill the thing.

And now....well, here it is people, straight from the diarrhea cesspit that is Marty's brain, the reason why he will die a virgin and we will all laugh.

>Ian heal's everyone's ears and he also heals Darya’s chest, which was apparently “seared down to the bone, which is especially psychologically scarring given the location. With the current cultural emphasis on humanity, disfigurements that rob someone of their attractiveness also detract from their sense of self."
>"She’d have lost a couple of points of Wisdom as well as Charisma if it had scarred.”

.......The Ex-Russian special forces, Ex-Russian mob, Ex-Chinese triad, current super spy who hunts down monsters with gigantic fuck-off weapons.

Would be so traumatized by a scar on her tits that she'd go SLIGHTLY INSANE FROM IT!!?!?!?!!?!?

I don't want to say "fuck you" to Marty anymore, because that implies he deserves some kind of intimate physical contact.

Un-fuck you Marty. I want to Un-fuck you by going back in time and giving both of your grandmothers the FALCOON PAWWNCCHH to make sure you never existed.
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I'm not defending Marty
But to be fair, getting a hole blown through your chest would be traumatizing
I've been working on mine too, but though there are similarities, the outcome is different. It follows the things zeroroller feared would happen.

>said peacekeeping organization finally breaks bad
>war breaks out and annihilations follow
>not one, but the whole multiverse has been burnt and broken into a wasted, multiversal hellscape
>the rules are now different
>You _fight_ against the said organization, or rather the horrific thing it's now become, 200 to 500 years since.
>Kill every one of those fuckers for good, or die trying.
>You are yourself. You like everyone else born since are an improbability, living without a future meant for yourself, and you seemingly, don't really have anything to lose.

Just that I work on tweaking things at a leisurely pace until I am satisfied to unleash the scenario on players.
*Darya left the Byakhee a present by way of a frag grenade.

Letting the screams of Rage from Marty being achieving Ascended Super-Cunt status die down, let's get back to the wrap up.

>And he doesn't just apply that scar=insanity thing to women. It's "ugly=insane" because Cael went blind in 1 eye later and lost a point of WIS.

So what's the wrap up to Cael doing an awesome job pulling a reverse-Akbar on the Dhohanoids and keeping everybody else alive?.

First off, Lily is dead because "It wouldn't be dramatic if nobody died."
>Recalling the Krieger/Cornugon/Blackhawke fiasco...so much hate...

Also it seemed like none of the Dhohanoids died without help from the Tagers...
>“Oh, we were working under cinematic damage mechanics. Basically, they would have all died, so to make the story better I had Cael’s charges strip off their DR and healing instead of damaging them, and then they just died as and when the story dictated.”

....is that a thing? Is that seriously a thing he just did? "I decided your bombs didn't damage them directly." What's to stop him from pulling "Oh your sword hit for subdual damage instead of lethal damage, because that's more cinematic."?

The only highlight from this is that it was the last time anybody besides Marty or Jin tried to keep the game intact, and everybody else walked away with the same feeling I got from reading about Marty and the Ao-Sue. That being the feeling of "I should try to be a better person, lest I accidentally turn into...him..."
>First off, Lily is dead because "It wouldn't be dramatic if nobody died."
This sounds like the same logic of a GM who would kill off a PC's family just for cheap drama
Are Marty's players as autispergy as he is?
OP is goin' to bed, will throw up more in the morning.

Wondering if I should put in the bit where ZeRoller talked about Marty as his DMing style, which was turned up to 11 during the Reverse-Akbar gambit? Fuck it I'll put up a little from the blog as I'm fuggin' beat.

TL:DR Marty would use verbal legalese to be a fucking cockhole to the players, especially ZeRoller. Never trust a man who can't say 3 words without smirking...

Quote from the blog, then I rest my angry head.


But his obsession with fiddly language ran far deeper. Take this, for example:

Me: "How much weight can the ceiling tiles support without obviously deforming?"

Marty: "Roll...knowledge: architecture?"


>"Okay, how about Engineering?"


>"Materials science?"


>"You have absolutely no idea."

"Okay, I'll determine it experimentally. I'm going to put a metal bowl from the kitchen in the middle, on top of my little scale thing, and slowly fill it with wat-"

>"But then it'll break."

"I'm not filling it to breaking point. I'm putting my laser pointer in a glass on the bar, pointing it up to the tile at an angle, sticking my hand mirror on one side of the tile and marking the dot on the floor. When it moves significantly, the weight's bending the tile and mirror and therefore the light path, yeah? Then I can just read off the weight."

>"Science roll even to think of that."


>"Okay, fine. Repair, Engineering, Stealth, raw Dex."

<i pass them all>

>"Okay, you get the bowl, laser, mirror, and water in place. The dot quivers when you add water."

"Is it moved from my mark?"

>"It's quivering."

"Right, but can I tell if it's moved in any permanent sense from my original mark?

>"It's definitely moving."

"Okay, so it's moved."

>"Not really; it's still basically in the same place."

"Yes or no, Marty. Has the dot moved?"


Hedge, hedge, hedge. Always with that arrogant little smirk.
I'm hearing Marty in Chris(tine)-chan's voice.
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Woah, didn't notice you there. I'm the image poster. It's from an information plaque in the gardens of Stowe House, England. It explains a literal bunch of paths around the very large garden filled with Victorian follies and stuff. I went there a few days ago and liked the idea, so photo.

See, not /tg/ related at all! Pic related is another picture I took there whilst standing on a very thin wall and attempting to not fall off. Evidence!
And you just know that this motherfucker thinks that's he being "smart" or full of himself for thinking of that.
Might make a god place to set a CoC adventure.
>Sets a Corruption of Champions adventure there
That's the one you meant, right?
Call of Cthulhu.
And now I'm imagining what a Call of Cthulhu system set in Corruption of Champions would look like?
But that's /d/ as hell and so I'll wait until I have it set out before posting it /d/ or /tg/
>In the Pipeline
link for the lazy: http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time.php
>It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water-with which it reacts explosively
How to set water on fire.jpg
OP has been asleep for 9+ Hours.
OP confirmed for being a filthy normie with real life obligations and dreams.
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That is amazingly clever, using a laser to mark a point on the title so that when the laser no longer points at the mark then weight has been added enough to deform the tile.
Adding trig' to determine the angle deformed and then you can use the weight recorded to figure out how much weight the tile can withstand.
If by real life you mean a Niece's Birthday party, then yes. Which unfortunately means I've had a KHUNT in my ear since I woke the fuck up, and later I'm gonna go off because I'll be trapped in a live action +3 hour long episode of "The View". I'll be in the right mindset when I get out.

So why did ZeRoller/Cael mess about with the mirror and laser and measuring drop ceiling strength, and why Marty's a fucking asshole.

I'm gonna need Cthulhutech people in on this to tell me how fucking retarded Marty is regarding the Magic Brainmelting Concrete.

Yes. Yes I did say that. And no. I'm not kidding.

Because regular concrete wouldn't work for building an Arc, Marty declared it to be an "Advanced Composite" and slapped every smart material, (Way to jizz shit on the players ideas) ability on them.
>Fancy-crete is vigorously self-cleaning, so nothing will ever stick to it.
>It's programmable, so with the right equipment you can just push a utility cable into it, leaving no room for a junction box.
>and it's "Harder than Diamond"

Which is why Cael had to fuck with drop panels (for all the good that did him). And also, nobody knows how the stuff is made because it uses
>"Such advanced nanotech that it drives the builder insance"
Cthulhu-brand Brain-melting Concrete! Get it at your local R'lyeh dealership today for the low, low price of 5 souls per 5-foot cube!

And ZeRoller had to roll for making a measurement. As in using meter stick to measure things. This is where shit get's stupid because first off, Cael had to pay TRIPLE for a Meter stick instead of a Yard stick, and the reason why Cael had to measure things at a -5 Penalty?
>"He's had no formal training."
As in: College.

ZeRoller brought up AutoDidactism with Marty (OP looked up when first reading, basically means self-taught)
>"That sounds like a high-level telepathy power."

Marty, I'm going to stick you into a Shoggoths asshole.
Elementary school kids know how to use meter sticks.

Hahaha. Marty really sounds like some autist.
>>"He's had no formal training."
I think the reasoning behind this is, "Unless you have someone explain it you in a professional setting i.e. University, then you aren't trained in it."

It of course completely ignores the fact that you can read a book and experiment enough to understand something without it being explained to you i.e. stripping a gun.
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"Of the six city workers who never reached the truck, I thought two perished of pure fright in the accursed instant. The Concrete cannot be described - there is no language for such abysms of retardation and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. God! What wonder that across the earth a great city architect went mad, and poor Wilcox raved with fever in that autistic instant?"

Cael has a -5 to all science rolls cause he doesn't have crippling student loan debt from going to college, and using a Meter/Yard stick is a "Scientific Procedure". This from a man who thinks college classes are a waste of time, I think Marty believes college to be a kind of IRL Hogwarts, and if you make it to the end and get a degree, it'll turn out to be a magic scroll and impart all the knowledge you need.

moving onto "how to make bombs" which Cael has because of some very old Army manuals but nowadays can be found in a lot of places.
OP Disclaimer: DO NOT go looking for how to make bombs. Seriously, watchlisted so goddamn fast it'll make your head spin.

Cael wants to learn how to make stronger bombs, and because of Freedom of Speech shenanigans, it'd be a pain in the ass to censor all instances of bomb-making. Which is why Marty said
>"All libraries have been BURNED"

Just so Cael couldn't make more effective "Stuff that goes ka-boom."


Back in a few hours, sorry
>OP Disclaimer: DO NOT go looking for how to make bombs. Seriously, watchlisted so goddamn fast it'll make your head spin.
Got experience with that, eh?
FAG dicklaimer: And if you do use: at least 7 proxies, TOR, someone else's computer + internet.

We'll keep the thread bumped for you.

BTW, fuck is a "KHUNT"?
Sound it out. He is talking about his significant other.
Cunt? Thought it was an acronym.
It's sad that even harmless research can get you on a watchlist now. And I think its safe to say that its much more fucking damning for me than it is for most of you which makes it even worse.
Interest status: Piqued like a cosmic pina colada

Please do explain your situation ANON, in as broad terms as you like.
It's not that interesting. I'm in Pakistan. We have US agencies monitoring us, our own ISI has invested heavily in it, and other agencies too probably. So it has a very high possibility to mess with work visas and the like.
Moving on...

So what do you guys think of those crossover setting/plots those two other anons are working on?
Which one are you talking about?
All of them?
Not sure what you're asking here. There's no actual reason for them to be interested, but the computer selected watchlists have a tendency to cause more trouble for innocent people than otherwise.
I had a friend who got deported when he visited the states cause a computing error messed up his dads name and thought he was the son of some afghan.
Sorry I was asking him >>41326854 which crossover he was talking about, must've clicked on your post by mistake. Sorry.
Is that the CoC/CoC crossover you're talking about?

I meant these two

See >>4129486
and this >>41315640
Must've made a mistake with a crosslink.


Marty said, over and over and over again regarding CthulhiTech's NEG (Gubamint) that they are benevolent and so "Totally NOT evil" that Cael couldn't find more that 6 people to help him resisted the registration and effective branding of para-psychics.

Then says that chemistry textbooks, libraries and Wikipedia is gone because Cael wanted to learn how to make better bombs. Apparently the tech manuals he has were inherited as
>"nobody sells them anymore."

Now, I can't help but wonder why Marty went to such mouth-on-a-tailpipe stupid levels to stop the ZeRoller from having better bombs, when Marty could just pull that "Cinematic Damage" rules out of his ass again? It couldn't have been threats of physical violence because if that had been the case, he would've been mashed into salsa long before that fuckery.

So instead of chemicals as we know them, they have advanced composites that do the exact same thing, "only better" and are super expensive. From the blog:

"What does somebody do if they can't afford super-nano-aspirin when they have a headache?"
>"they do without, cause it's not important in wartime."

Dude even banned BAKING SODA from his setting! What was Cael gonna do, build a giant science fair volcanoe?!

Anyway, besides Marty whacking it over the thought of living in a Corporate State, (Yes, he legit believes that would be the best government because successful people know how best to run things) his idea of pillow talk in the afterglow following Caels effectiveness during that session was:
>"I was specifically giving you a chance to shine. It won't work so well next time."

Please massa, coulds I haves a few more crumbs massa? Fuck you in 3/4 Marty.
NOW my phone works again?!? Sigh...well I'll be back at my comp soon. Patience please...
>Now, I can't help but wonder why Marty went to such mouth-on-a-tailpipe stupid levels to stop the ZeRoller from having better bombs, when Marty could just pull that "Cinematic Damage" rules out of his ass again?
Fuck that would make so much sense. I mean it's still retarded, but its consistent with the world. Marty is just-what the fuck man.
FYI I've been doing some work on a CoC/CoC Homebrew rules.

Sanity Loss would be integrated with Transformations with a XDX Sanity Loss for each body part that is transformed. But the amount of Sanity Lost is recorded.
If they ever Acclimatise to their new body part then they recover their Sanity Lost.
If they choose to "forget" aka cerebral void, then they can Recover 1/2 points of Sanity from the Transformation, but losing the ability to recover the full Sanity Lost.
This is modified by Fetishes, if they have a fetish for the end result e.g. tail, extra arms, e.t.c. then they don't lose any/1 Sanity. And they have a permanent increase to their base Lust as long as they are aware of their Fetish and they have the transformation.
Forgetting the Fetish incurs Sanity Loss as normal along with the rules above.
Losing the Transformation that triggers the Fetish does nothing but lose the base Lust increase.

And I just realized I should take this to /d/
The Fetishes would be separated into Fetish: Body Part, and Fetish: Act.

The more specific the Fetish the greater the base inc. to Lust there is e.g.
Fetish: Body Part (Tail) < Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat) < Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped) < Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White)
in terms of base Lust increase.

And there will be system for people with descriptive Fetishes to still be affected by their less descriptive counterparts. e.g.
Fetish: Body Part (Tail) seeing/having a Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) = +5 Lust
Fetish: Body Part (Tail) seeing/having a Body Part (Tail, Cat) = +5 Base Lust
Fetish: Body Part (Tail) seeing/having a Body Part (Tail) = +5 Base Lust

Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) seeing/having Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) = +20 Lust
Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) seeing/having Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped) = +15
Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) seeing/having Body Part (Tail, Cat) = +10
Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat, Striped, Black & White) seeing/having Body Part (Tail) = +5

I can't help but feel that there is something wrong with this if Player's are attempting to avoid Lust increase i.e. why not have a basic (1 descriptor) Fetish to avoid the increasing Lust gain of more specific Fetishes? This could be balanced by allowing greater points in Character Generation but what about Fetishes gained in-play? It also depends on the Gm's shittiness/goodness allowing those Fetishes to be encountered.

I am reminded of a quote wherein it was discussed that the pleasure of sex is seen as a way of escaping/ignoring death, ergo, you are responsible for this OP. For driving me to this to escape my impotent rage at the festering bag of shit that is Marty.
The Catgirls of Ulthar never stood a chance
Applicable (example) Fetishes would be Fetish: Species (Catgirl, Ulthar), Fetish: Body Part (Tail, Cat), Fetish: Species (Eldritch, Ulthar), Fetish: Act (Feral, Catgirl), Fetish: Body Part (Hand*, Paws, Footpads), and Fetish: Body Part (Body*, Fur, Catgirl).

For a total of: 70 Base Lust inc. with - 10 from non-applicable Fetishes like Fetish: Body Part (Hand*) & (Body*) which are marked as an asterisk to show that the Player has "bought off" that Fetish to avoid unnecessary Base Lust increase. Thankfully these are specifically written in the rules that their "buying off" doesn't require anything as long as they involve one other descriptor.

So what does a Base 60 Lust mean? It means that Player who unfortunately has all of the above Fetishes will have their Lust increased to 60 if it is under, and a 5th of the Base Lust added if it their Lust is at or over their Lust Limit. More chaste/self-controlled will have higher Lust Limits than otherwise.

Thankfully, it is impossible to immediately climax upon seeing someone (usually) so their Lust will anyway cap at ~90.

It should be noted that whilst it is possible to add a 10th of the Base Lust (6) to any Sex Acts performed with the Catgirl of Ulthar, the GM may ignore this rule if they wish to freeplay the Sex Act as an ERP.
Have bump whilst I go fuck off/sleep. Don't forget to bump so we can finally find out how the story of Marty ends.
What type of new temporary insanities would you work into your system because I feel like you'd need some more with these new mechanics based upon sanity added in

Also let's keep the language very technical as you have so far so as not to have a mod bomb this thread

Last time, Cael used foresight to great effect and set up a reverse-Akbar to kill a fuckload of Dhohanoids and prevent any PC's or Tager's from dying. He failed miserably because his reverse-Akbar went off without a hitch and Marty said "that's not dramatic! So Lily died and the Tager's were actually killed by my special snowflakes after you weakened them!"

Which is when most of the group joined the Church of Henderson (Blessed be his wee men, amen)

But the important part of the whole debacle was the BOX. Now in the hands of the PC's the crack it open and find...
a dagger.

But not just any dagger, oh no sirree! This was an ultra-special dagger that kept in line with Marty's fetish for applying as many God-like figures to his Vamp!Marty Autyst Avatar as possible! His thing about "making settings fit the timeline"? No, that's time he wants so he can scribble "I am the return of (some great god)" and keep it as "canonical" as possible. And Lovecraftian mythos is no different as the Source reveals Marty might have made Vamp!Marty more powerful than Azathoth.
>One year after Vamp!Marty reaches Cthulhutech, the world has become a Utopian paradise...supposedly.

But this dagger...oh my Sweet vengeful Allah did Marty step up to his neck in a river of camel shit on this one! Rather than take a messianic savior figure from Cthulian mythos (Seriously, how many of THOSE are there? I'm gonna call it a number between Fuck and All), Marty decided that since CT is OUR world in 2085, he'd slap a Messiah label from IRL mythos/religions.

Hence the dagger, known as the Eye of Mahdi.

As in "The successor to Mohammed, supreme prophet and leader of Islam and the muslim faith" Mahdi. Who is now apparently a Vampire that dual-wields lightsaber katanas.

OP is now cackling madly and wondering what will happen when ISIS finds out about this, and if they ever found out who Marty is. I feel like playing "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics now lol.
This... this is why they keep bombing us. It's not about killing the CIA helping zealots reinstate the sheik that time, it's not about tapping those oil wells, it's not even about blowing up that orphanage that time. They're just really pissed about Marty.
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>Eye of Mahdi
OP. Please tell me you're fucking with me now.

>Who is now apparently a Vampire that dual-wields lightsaber katanas.
Wow, fuck this. Im just going to sleep and hope I cant wake up instead of waking and delving deeper into this godforsaken hole.

ISIS won't care. But the whole nation of Iran would be super fucking pissed. They're even easier to contact (probably). Someone should really get on that.
>Temporary Fetish: Species/Act/Body Part (X)
As it says, you gain a temp' Fetish for whatever reason. Is it an unnatural mental compulsion? The work of a Mi-Go looking for some companionship? Are you at double your Arousal but unable to Climax because the Sex Act(s) or Fetishes are so disturbing that the Turn-Off malus puts you under double your Arousal but over your normal Arousal? Congratulations! You gain enough new Fetishes appropriate to the situation to be Climax. Usually this is in the hands of the Player but dice can be rolled or the GM intercede if the Sanity is low enough. Most likely you will gain Fetish: Species (Shoggoth).

>Turn-Off: [Same as Fetish]
You experience something so disturbing involving a body part, species, and/or a sex act that you are disgusted by it to the point of Anti-Rousal! This means that you lose 5 Lust whenever you see this Turn-Off, -10 if you have this as a Fetish: Body Part/Species.
It is possible to have Turn-Offs and Fetishes with the same descriptors, leading to the weirdest boners/beans you'll ever likely experience.
Stays until you work towards removing it, usually through cerebral voiding.

>Traumatic Turn-Off: [Same as Fetish]
If you lose Sanity in the situation to acquire a Turn-Off you will also lose the equivalent Fetish: X (X) if you have it.
Unlike Turn-Offs these cannot be be forgotten as they are now a part of your psyche and provide a -20 Malus to Lust as you suffer flashbacks to The Event whenever confronted with the Turn-Off.


Now the Eye of Mahdi (snrk!) isn't just a dagger. It's a jewelry dagger on silver chain with 2 ribbons on the crossguard. Written in Marty's personal brand of Wingdings, the Ribbons have the phrases:
>Peace through Prosperity.
>Prosperity through Order.
-engraved on them, and as a godless infidel who's never looked twice at a Koran, I'm gonna be that's NOT a phrase that appears anywhere in the muslim faith.

Plus, Holy catchphrases to justify tyranny Batman! And yes, that phrase is more in line with Marty's assheaded stupidity as it's only the psychotic, (so the ugly then?) and the poor who have problems with any kind of government.

I never did cover Rick and Vamp!Marty's conversation about how he was gonna run his new empire did I?...I'll get to that after the end of this campaign.

Anyway, they want to study the dagger and use something akin to TV/Hollywood forensics to figure out what's up with this Macguffin. Like "radiometric dating".

To a good DM, this would be the players helping you put worms on your plot hooks.

To Marty, this was the players trying to jump off his tracks and he went into bullshit "You can't do that and here's why!" free-fire mode.
>Radioactive materials have been banned in the NEG (...that's not how radiometric dating works...)
>Cael couldn't know how to do this.
>Blackspire (remember, Best of the Best of the GIA) didn't have the equipment for this.
>No labs existed that could be hired out to analyze the dagger.
>They don't make the machines for it anymore and the old ones were scrapped.

In short, the government outlawed ALL science, save for the global conglomerate known as the Ashcroft foundation.

>"Your not going to pull any fancy techno-babble out of your ass for THIS one!"

Okay then, home-testing! First off, WILL IT BLEND!!!
>Blue Bean/Balls
If you are ever kept above Arousal for 1 Hour; above double Arousal for 1/2 Hour; or triple Arousal for 1/4 Hour then you will begin to lose Sanity temporarily until you are at 0 Sanity. At 0 Sanity you will rant and rave and spasm wildly as you do everything you can to Climax. If you do Climax then you pass out for couple of minutes before regaining all/some of your Sanity.
Going below your Arousal Threshold whilst Blue Beaned/Ballled won't allow you the chance to reign yourself in, instead you will continue until you reach 0 Arousal. Lose Y Sanity for this.
It is also likely this is were you will gain the Fetish: Act (Being Dominated, By [Species]), or the Turn-Off: Act (Orgasm Denial).

I really need to sleep, if this thread is still here (probably only because OP still has more of the story of marty to go through oh dear god how much more is there) then I might continue this.

Maybe I'll even actually read a Call of Cthulhu corebook!
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He thinks radiometric dating works by applying radiation. I have no idea why this surprised me.
>Okay then, home-testing! First off, WILL IT BLEND!!!

ZeRoller sounds like the sort of guy is smart enough to actually DIY a radiometric test.
I'd fucking love him in a heterosexual way just for that.

>Peace through Prosperity.
>Prosperity through Order.
You are correct.
But I could so see that in a shadowrun corporation office.
Marty why couldn't you stop fellating the rich long enough to realise how retarded everything you did was?

>In short, the government outlawed ALL science
Smart move really, given they live in a universe where no one except the PCs have even half of a brain.
So far even martys own super sues have yet to do anything clever. They're supposed to just be too good and handwave everything in the most boring of ways. So yeah. The PCs are actually the only people in the setting to have enough brain cells to rub together.
You've got <~90 Posts before Sage OP. Are we looking at a 3rd Thread of Martydom?
Paul Mooney my friend, Paul Mooney
>"I can't make this shit up, I'm not that good!"

Turns out the Eye of Mahdi will NOT blend. It also won't fold, spindle, mutilate, melt, freeze or anything else in the physical sense because it's physical properties shift at random. The only things discovered are:
A: It turns red when picked up by Ian (Who's an Aut...for HIM I'll use the word, an Authyr)
B: When they try to take it far away from Ian, it disappears and reappears around his neck.

The PC's ask "This is for Vamp!Marty isn't it..."

>*smirk* "You don't know he exists IC."

So yes, this confirms that the next prophet of Allah is going to be a man who's first act upon achieving godlike power was to conjure up a billion dollars and then steal cable. God I hope I get to see the video when ISIS catch him! I should by popcorn in preparation!

This is about the point where the source started which would eventually be condensed into the blog we are all familiar with, as Darya went "Hey, eyes see things, what if this thing is watching us!?" and the players came up with the idea to find out what it was by contacting the Tagers, specifically Phil the Lorekeeper. Which Marty stopped by saying that Phil (and to a lesser degree all Tagers) are even more paranoid that Twitch from Shoggy's AGP when he's not on his meds.

So they had to set up a clandestine meeting. Hence the "My GM is changing the setting to make things harder on us and I'm not sure what to do about it?" post that started ALL of us down this horrific winding path.
"Aerial surveillance? How about a park?"
>"Parks are flat grass you have no cover."
"We need money, and since there's only grass in the park and no other plants, we'll set up a green house and-"
>"The park is now a rainforest and there's plants everywhere, nobody wants to buy your shitty weeds and dandelions."

In the end, they had to meet in a coffee shop, which went as well as you can expect.
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Wait, why did the previously normal park turn into a flat jungle? This is like reverse Cyrodiil.
Why are there giant swords the background? I don't remember them.

Has someone been fucking 'round with the lore 'gain?
Because Marty used his psychic powers to give Vamp!Marty DMPC OOC knowledge which his DMPC would use to go back in time and retroactively change the universe to fuck with the PC's plans
Ayleid ruins. They just happen to look like swords.
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Every single line. In this goddamn post.

>*smirk* "You don't know he exists IC."
How does a person like this exist that doesnt realize what he's doing?
Hmm, we might...but might not, we'll see when/if that comes about. If I don't have enough to finish the tale properly, than thread 3 will be some of the extras, how Marty runs his empire and seeing how much of Marty's shit system and setting can be UN-Fucked by /TG/.
This being archived? Just curious.

A funny bit from the source is that Marty never changed coffee shops or coffee, (it's never really discovered why, source or blog) but that is what lead to the players figuring out how to slightly Henderson the sunuvabitch. It wasn't much. But I say the old bastard shed a tear in pride.

They meet Nery (the non-Tager) at the shop and Cael talks with her while everyone else gets coffee and donuts.
(sidenote: Marty RP'ed the barista as a lazy, retarded asshole...projecting much?)

Anyway, (forgot to mention) Cael had a ritual/vision from Yog-Sothoth while holding the Eye and saw "an eyeless old crone talking to somebody who said 'Nanjing was just a test, we need the Eye for full implementation'."

With that in mind, Cael asks Nery

>1. We know next to nothing about the dhohanoids. Anything you can tell us regarding their physiology could be invaluable in devising some kind of test.
>2. We know absolutely nothing about you guys. I know you're probably loath to divulge information on your weaknesses, but if you have anything to distinguish you from normal humans, we can have our analysts ignore that so we can stop bothering you.
>3. We found this thing, the Eye of the Mahdi. If Phil can run it through your archives, we desperately need anything you have on it.
>4. Whatever happened in Nanjing may recur in the future on a larger scale if the Children recover the Eye. If there's any reference to a ritual involving the Eye, we'd like to see if we can pinpoint its preparations being made."

Here's a fun game!
Everybody who hasn't read the blog, guess what Nery's response was!
You have until I finish the next post!
Have fun!
Didn't Talos/Uriel Septim CHIM the jungle away because he saw his people were unhappy with it after seeing other lands? (As far as the retcon fluff for it not being a jungle)
That's the retconed version of it yeah.
>This being archived? Just curious.
Nope. And if I archive I'm going to drop a mention in the description that someone tried to create a Corruption of Champions crossover with Call of Cthulhu. So you might want someone else to do that.

Nery will say, "It's time for you to meet our Leader." Turns out it's Marty.
Guessing that Marty-sue will introduce his epik OC and then he'll kill whoever has the Eye of Cthulu or whatever it's called and the PCs won't be allowed to interfere because muh Inkheat fanfic says so.
Change the universe "Through Chaos Theory" and he didn't let the players do the same because "They aren't psychic in real life!" Can't forget those bits! ^__^
Time's up! Pencils down!
Nery's reaction to the questions above regarding Dhohanoids, Tagers, the Eye and Nanjing?

Put it to you this way, she rolled a nat 1 on her SAN check.

She went into a catatonic shock and was stuffing an entire pack of cigarettes in her mouth when the Tager's pulled her away from Cael and said he's never allowed to speak to her again. Maybe she was simply the crybaby twin-sister of the woman who'd been shot by Dhohanoids the day before? Oh that reminds me!
If it'd been "Make will save or take a point of WIS damage because it was traumatizing" I might accept your reasoning.
Not "No save, several points of WIS and CHA because you're hideous now"

Anyway, Marty does exposition (his favorite type of human interaction) though a lesser packling about the differences between Dhohanoids and their abilities. Which amounts to:
>"They're stronger than normal and faster than normal"
Okay...so what's normal?
>"Lemme finish!" *changes the subject*

Love how his NPC Type 1 came out again (Gritty like he'd been licking a highway) but apparently it sounded "Like a bad Dick Cheney impression"

Next up, Blackspire says the PC's are off the reservation!
Let me guess.
>He's too dumb to know this stuff, even when some of it is about him.
>Archives dont exist.
>The ritual is over a thousand steps long.
>sue!marty is about to make his appearance.
Fuck I posted it a second too late and I was inadvertently right.
>If it'd been "Make will save or take a point of WIS damage because it was traumatizing" I might accept your reasoning.
>Not "No save, several points of WIS and CHA because you're hideous now"

Oh I'm not saying that his logic behind it wasn't retarded

There should have been a SAN check
Keyword: "check"

Also fuck Marty, scars can be totally hot
>Next up, Blackspire says the PC's are off the reservation!
Oh fuck! we're in the retardy-marty universe now, aren't we?

Blackspire. The best of the best of the best of the GIA, analogous to our CIA. The erstwhile bosses to our PC's who's job is to secure the assistance of the Tager's and get them to trust the GIA enough that they can work together against the threat of the evil Dhohanoids.

Which is why the Eye of Mahdi (recieved through Tager cooperation and several meetings) was a completely unrelated side-mission that Blackspire would not support in regards to the primary mission.

I know military intelligence is the funniest oxymoron ever, but really? Just, really?

Cael wasn't allowed to find out what was up because he wasn't GIA and wasn't allowed to see classified documents, but that just put him in the same boat as Jin and Darya, the ACTUAL GIA AGENTS.

Then it's discovered regarding Blackspire's "We won't help you find out about the Eye of Mahdi" is because the entire world-wide organization amounts to 50 people in a single facility that doesn't have a laboratory.
>"They're policemen and spies, not scientists."

Which is when the PC's stopped being Blackspire agents, or at least in spirit. They weren't being supported or paid because they weren't following their effectively non-existent orders.

>Flashbacks to "By any means necessary" and the later "You made excessive use of excessive force!"
>Can't wake up.mp3

So the PC's focus on figuring out enough differences between the Dho's and the Tag's since both are immune to DNA scans, (largely because a shit-load of Dho's work for the Megacorp that makes the DNA scanners) and they bounce ideas around. Jin comes up with Economic Warfare via Charlescorp to rid the Megacorp of a sizable chunk of it's power/influence, and Cael comes up with making a lab somewhere to study the tentaclely little fuckers in peace and quiet.

Y'all can guess how well that turned out while I make the next post.
Pc's come up with good and logical ideas, Marty blows a few synapses trying to understand how such penniless peasants can come up with something smart and falls back onto the thinking that they can't and thus they shouldn't?
I'm guessing it involves railroads so tight Amtrack puts him on the payroll.
I'm gonna guess that Marty outlaws economics and another few base elements of the universe.
It's going to be that Marty shows how little he knows about how the economy and marketing
The base elements of the universe went out the window awhile ago. In case you forgot, he can blow up the solar system by clapping too hard and his laptop can destroy the universe.
Heh, buddy of mine I told about this:
>"How many soldiers wear their scars as fucking marks of honor!? FUCK THIS ASSHOLE!

Jin: "I want to start a corporation, and I've done a shitload of calculations that show we could seize 1/3 the worlds GDP in 10 years by smashing and/or grabbing Megacorp assets on a small scale."
Over an hour long explanation of why that was impossible:
>"Everybody already get's everything they need from existing companies that are selling at the lowest price physically possible."
ZR: "What about selling trees or lab equipment?"
>"No demand for them, otherwise somebody else would be selling them."
Darya: What about innovating or making something that already exists even better, like an iPhone 40,000?
>"Innovation needs a ton of capital and an existing corporate structure."

Cael:...so about my lab, as long as we mask the energy signature-
>"if you set-up in a building the cults will track you down within days. And it won't do any good to make a mobile lab because the cults have spy satellites in orbit with IR so sensitive they can pick out individual maggots on some roadkill."
CT Setting: Migou have invaded and destroyed/done things to all human civilizations save earth, and supposedly destroyed all Earth's satellites when they reached us...these are some amazing 'cultists'...
>"And you can't put it underground cause the cultists have seismometers everywhere."

ZR: Okay then...

Blog quote next cause there ain't enough room in this post for what he came up with.

And FYI, source information: He came up with this idea when Marty confirmed that the Great Lakes didn't have any nasty Eldritch abominations/Baby Cthulhu's swimming around. (this might have been where the dolphins came into play and ended up banned...)

From the man himself, and I reiterate, this guy's gotta have a few points on me, IQ-wise.

My thinking ran like this: two of the major engineering challenges with a submarine are power and movement. If you let it sit on the seafloor, you don't need neutral bouyancy so you can devote much less space to ballast tanks without needing a vertical powered drive; if you have an emissionless infinite energy source, power is not a concern. So I figured out, in essence, a watertight legged tank covered in next-gen anechoic paneling and powered by banks of large D-cells that doubled as ballast. (D-engines were vetoed.) Picture a jet-black, lumpy, angular Kabuto about a third the size of a Landkreuzer Ratte and filled with lab equipment, crawling over the bottom of Lake Michigan-Huron. Very few of the parts were actually novel; I wanted to repurpose mecha parts, since Blackspire had access to mecha and the legs are watertight anyway. We'd just run a charter fishing service out of a surface vessel with a moon pool and surreptitiously drop a bathysphere and power cable along with the anchor, always in a different place to throw off anyone trying to track us; I assumed 5% efficiency on the legs, so we'd only need recharging every month or so anyway. Move slowly enough and you're just a bump on a seafloor full of debris anyway -- and apparently the Cult rarely ran active sonar sweeps of the lake, so we'd be in the only place they couldn't see us with all the power and lab supplies we could want. It'd be a cool little mini-quest to put together, at least; I suggested dropping a nanofabrication suite stuffed inside automated power armor on one of the wrecks.

Marty's response
>"Cutesy, but impractical. It's impossible to hide a 3D shape from sonar, even if you hid in old shipwrecks like a hermit crab. And what's this nonsense about distilling oxygen and drinking water from fresh water!? Exhausting CO2 into water? CO2 is insoluble in water!"
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Oh holy god...
I've gone from the point of rage to the point of awe as I believe I have finally heard of a man with a negative IQ. There is a bit of sadness that this man presumably went through some form of education and presumably passed, and they let him.
At this point (assuming I haven't killed Marty yet with arsenic) I would have asked him "okay, tell us how we are supposed to have a lab so we don't get a massive penalty to rolls if there's no land on the entire planet and we can't make one without getting targeted by the all-seeing cultists?
If he had any sort of formal education, it was either in a third-world nation, a highly regressive private institution focused on liberal arts rather than more practical skills, or in the state of Kentucky.
Did ZeRoller explain to Marty how and why that's fucking wrong?
But it has been unfucked by /tg/, kinda. See Editors on 1d4chan. Kinda.


But if you think Marty's shenanigans with his complete lack of scientific knowledge despite his 18 INT was impressive, whoo boy, his reasoning for why Cael or ANY other PC couldn't access a Nanofabricator were even more batshit. According to him, there are so many "safeguards" and "safety features" and "anti-theft" measures on a Nanofabricator that I'd join the Army so I could disarm I.E.D.s with my dick before I'd operate one of those sons-of-bitches! Plus there's bullshit about how the schematics for the Nanofabricators are "encrypted" (I don't think Marty knows what that word means).

But as an extra little fuck-you to his players, Marty followed up all these statements by saying

"I'm okay with you guys trying this stuff, but not when it's so ridiculous."

I'm sorry, but when 2 people are talking about a math problem and one says "2+2 equals" and the other answers "PURPLE TACO!", the ridiculous one is NOT the one who was using actual numbers.

But here comes some dick-headery and Marty being a Tzeenchian/Eldrad/Elminster dickhead.

See, the party was having fun, which is a cardinal sin in Martyland. They'd come up with an idea, he'd say no, and they'd work on the next idea, coming up with newer and more ridiculous ideas. Marty wouldn't be able to handle anything they managed to brainstorm together in session, they were too excited, and I think he could see a Henderson looming on the horizon. (though more likely, he saw the PC's doing something he couldn't novelize away like the Cornugon Krieger incident-I'M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THAT!!!)

So he came up with excuses for game night to get shuffled around, and talk to each player individually, and thus NERF THE SHIT out of them solo in ways he couldn't when they had formed PC Voltron.

Ian was first on the chopping block...poor bastard...

All these related?


Hmm...can't says I'd mind that too much, it's just a few posts though. (well-thought out though!)
/tg/, Get's shit done!

Ian. Poor fucking Ian, using the SUE system of magic and all the fucking bullshit therein. I've gone at length about the Magic in the SUE system many times, from the "Buying each individual spells that in Normal D20 will auto-level with the players" or "Fatigue checks that rise higher than a characters modifier to compensate for the check." and that's pretty much how Marty could nail Ian anyway, cause he already had the poor fucking Authyr by the short-hairs. (Kudos for trying to use the super-snowflake racial class against him dude, kudos for trying)

For example, enchanting was at a -10 if you didn't have an Enchanter's thurible, which is the related pic. For those who didn't read last thread, Marty MEANT a crucible. He hasn't corrected himself and insists it's a thurible.

(Side note, apparently Marty has NEVER apologized for anything in his life, in game or out of game. Except once and that was the "WIS/CHA damage" comment, which almost made ZeRoller storm out of the game cause it was so offensive. Other than that, He's never said I'm sorry or I was wrong about anything, ever)

Plus, trying to make a thurible yourself is a perpetual motion machine of retarded logic. It's a DC 35, and yes, the -10 from not having a thurible applies.

A new bit to the magic system is technology because:
>"Magic wasn't made with tech in mind, so it's not as effective when dealing with it"
And that's why Invisibility doesn't work on security cameras and Stone-to-Flesh doesn't work on concrete. You could negate those problems with spell research, but at major penalties, which would stack the more you tried and failed.
>Learning from mistakes: the reason why Marty is (hopefully) an only child.
>>41294860 Here. Funny thing: I didn't discover /tg/ meta quest until last year. I was a bit giddy and read most of the threads.

Even before finding that out I have no illusions that what I'm doing is original in any stretch.
How do you confuse a thurible with a crucible?
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I... I have no words.

All I can hope for is that op will eventually reveal this is all a lie and we can all go to bed knowing Marty is simply a cautionary parable, nothing more.
Darya was the "Heavy Veapons Gurl" and thus couldn't be shut down too badly by Marty. She wasn't using an over complex subsystem, but using the SUE combat rules is punishment enough.

>Last time on SUE files; A combat system revolving around Action Points that could allow for Retarded shenanigans like a level 12 Character with 4 attacks in one round (full BAB and damage) or could move 360ft in one round!

Marty did his best to fuck her with AP shenanigans though. For example, attacking in the SUE system costs 4 AP, whether it's swinging a sword or pulling a trigger. Marty made it so that reloading a gun also costs 4 AP
>"two actions to get the clip out, one to insert it, another to draw the bolt back."

Plus he'd nerf the heavier guns because the environment was:
>"Less conducive to explosions"
As in, fog will make frag grenades useless.

But the real castration came when Darya found out that her bosses, who could get any kind of weapon she wanted from any other branch of the NEG, were lying their asses off because.
>"The NEG doesn't conduct heavily manned warfare anymore."

Apparently, Marty was a member of the NJROTC in High School and bought into that bullshit hook, line, and sinker, thinking that the modern military is mostly "drilling and button-pushing". This mindset means the mudfeet are "Cannon fodder" and when Mecha came about, the CT army immediately became "A few elite pilots in self-repairing, self-fueling, self-maintaining robots" and human-scale weaponry isn't necessary. And the larger stuff is automated at the Nano level (yes really) and under enough "Security" to make Burt Gummer envious.

(actually Burt would call it fucking retarded, cause seriously? "Every door has a 10 minute delay before it opens so nobody can get in without base security knowing about it"?)

But that's only one nut (or one tit?) that's been ripped off of Darya. One more to go and it's going to be even dumber than this!
I doubt he was in the NJROTC. Those guys are pretty fucking brutal, or at least where I grew up. Half the guys in there were either General Ripper's stunt doubles, or almost dead.

How did Marty finish Spaying/Neutering Darya? The same way he faps himself to sleep every night between his Koch brothers body pillows.

With paperwork and pointless bureaucracy!

According to Marty, all the fancy weapons in the CT sourcebook are:
>"antiques or belong to idiot rednecks in the boonies, and NO you're not getting a hill-billy rocket launcher!
>You have to get it from Blackspire, but first you have to fill out form 352cda-G in triplicate and submit 1 copy to Office 493: the Department of 'I'm a fucking asshole who should be forcefed into a woodchipper'."

Yeah, he makes PC's and even tries to make THE PLAYERS fill out forms, FOR A GAME. And all of this is because:
>"If you want to try to scam the NEG's best special forces out of their stuff, you'll at least do it by the book."

MONSTER HUNTERS. When the guns they get aren't big enough to kill the monsters, THEY GET BIGGER FUCKING GUNS YOU CUM-GUZZLING FUCKBUCKET!

Eventually Darya get's a sniper rifle. She wanted an Anti-Material rifle but "Blackspire" (Marty) said no because:
>"The way your operations usually go, they're worried about collateral damage."

Maybe if they got adequate guns they wouldn't have to rely on I.E.D.s and there wouldn't BE collateral Damage!

And do you know why a sniper rifle causes less collateral damage than an AM Rifle?

Because sniper rifles are pistols.

No, I'm not kidding. See, Marty always felt that sniper rifles did "ludicrous amounts of damage" and de-powered them.
>"because at their normal ranges, heavy pistols and sniper rifles put about the same amount of energy into the target, so they should do equivalent damage."

Nery is gonna have a roommate, cause Physics has taken irreperable SAN damage from that fucking idiocy.
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>high-end military grade weapons are being used and maintained by people in the ass end of no where with no formal education or resources
>People whipping out IEDs every few missions, but an AMR is out of the question
>At there normal ranges, heavy pistols and sniper rifles put about the same amount of energy into the target, so they should do equivalent damage
Someone go get /k/ in here. They deserve to feel this pain, and can put it into words far better than I can.
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>"because at their normal ranges, heavy pistols and sniper rifles put about the same amount of energy into the target, so they should do equivalent damage."
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/k/omrade here, I have followed this from the beginning and knew it would reach this point
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>Exhausting CO2 into water? CO2 is insoluble in water!"
At this point, just showing him a FUCKING SODA would disprove him.
>"Sodas have been banned from this world and don't exist, and I'm psychically connected to Vamp!Marty so they don't exist in this one either"
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I wonder if helium is banned, that would get him, one session of hilarious high-pitched dialogue, then a session of horrible explosive death.
What makes Marty so amazing is not that he railroads his players so hard they might as well be playing a game set in one-dimensional space. It's that he's willing to bend over backwards, destroy the setting, and flaunt his ignorance in order to justify his railroading instead of just telling the players "No".
I wonder what gave him such an overwhelming need to have absolute, unreasonable power. Was he beaten as a baby boy?
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Then Jin stepped up to the plate, ready and willing to tear down the Chrysalis corporation, one stock plummet at a time, and we get to see into the sociological strata of Marty's mind, and why he is truly an Autyst at his complete failure to understand how people function.

Marty played "a little" with CT's canonical communications problems. The players were utterly confined to Chicago and working under Blackspire as the Dhonanoids had cellphones that were "Unhackable, untraceable, unjammable" and connected to Cult HQ from anywhere in the world, and outside of Blackspire, the cults had "Untraceable priority access to all government files."
>"It's a miracle you guys are still alive."

Attacking isolated agents being out of the question, Jin wanted to sow the seeds of discontent until enough momentum had been built up to purge the cultists out of the NEG and the Chrysalis corporation in a popular uprising. (Viva La France! Down with the Czar! FUCK YOU IN HALF MARTY-SSIAH!)

Marty waved off Jin's predictions and plans as being impossible because "The People" would never rise up against the system, as the people aren't capable of such things.

Great Man Theory of History, as Interpreted by OP: Pretty much all historical events can be tied down to one man/hero and his impacts on society. WW2 would never have been won without Patton, Churchill or Stalin. The internet would never had existed were it not for Bill Gates. Basically, you condense all the complexity of the circumstances, the outside factors, the environment and culture.
And say that anything important happened because of "One Great Man"

Marty applies that concept to economics, sociology and politics. Anything that involves a lot of people get's condensed into a pissing match between a few.

Anybody care to clarify or correct me? Go right ahead if my interpretation is off.
Clearly not enough
Well that's the way it is, nothing really is original. Kinda. Now imagine how wacko a direct sequel to Meta Quest would be.
Great Man Theory can be seen as a narrative, when in reality there's a lot of different, interconnected cards at play at the time that's not very evident.
>Marty says he has 18 INT
>All of this
People say "The People" a lot, even though everyone, without exception, is part of that very group.

>"The People" would never rise up against the system, as the people aren't capable of such things.
Turns into,
>I'm a fucking pussy and failed to account for any revolution ever.

So, a Great Man on Economics!

>"You really don't understand economics, do you? The company with the best product optimizes their price to maximize their profit while filling the demand, and the others are edged out of the market. Come on man, you're a biologist, you should understand survival of the fittest. The best people have the best ideas and make the money. That's how progress works."

So that's why Jin can't become successful economically. The Chrysalis Corporation has evolved to become Das Uber Corp, and all "the People" can do is joyfully follow their benevolent, economic Fuhrer, (HEIL VAMP!MARTY!)

The amount of quotes and the pants on head retardation therein are just staggering btw.
>"I learned from economics classes that niche markets are a waste of time."

Oohhh, THIS is the bit I was waiting for. Y'all have been wondering about Marty's mental state and the "why" up until this point?
>(Well, more like screaming "GOD WHY!? WHY DOES HE EXIST!?!", but tomatoe tomato)
I don't know the psych term, but I want to say extreme narcissism as Marty believes anything he likes is "Inherently superior" to the other choices.
A normal human would say "my favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate"
Marty will say (HAS SAID):
>"it is the superior flavor. I don't have preferences, I just know what's best."

Now apply that personality quirk/Particular flavor of brain damage to ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE, and you now know what it is to be him.

That's the why people. Why he's done all the most stupid, petty, power-hungry, pants on head retarded shit to the people around him.

His ego has swollen to such a point that it is feeding on itself like a psychological Ouroboros.

With all that in mind, he loves the NEG in CT, and because he likes it, the people will never rise up.

>"It's not dictatorship to protect people from themselves, and whether you like it or not, rule by the strongest is the most natural and efficient form of government."
>A major corperation can't be harmed by a smaller rival
Well, obviously. That's why I'm posting this on my Commodore computer with my IBM manufactured software.
>Niche markets are a waste of time
Filling wants of the public is a waste of time? Well fuck, I guess the entire free market is just too stupid to understand how to operate properly.
>"It's not dictatorship to protect people from themselves
Said every 80's action movie villain ever, and at least 3 guys on Twilight Zone.
That's Jin out of the way, having his plans being effectively curb-stomped by Marty so hard that he just gave up and stopped offering ideas in game and trying to have fun with it.

And this was Marty's IRL BEST FRIEND.

But now it's Cael's turn and Oh...Oh god!

This hurts. This actually fucking hurts me. I think I need a doctor cause goddamnit this fucking stings like a BITCH!

Marty has an 18 INT, (According to him) and 10 is the average in his system because "10 is always the average". All that put together meant that Cael didn't know SHIT with his 17 INT, as Marty thinks INT means "How many facts you know/have memorized" rather than processing power.

So if ZeRoller came up with something Marty didn't know about, he could say Cael wasn't smart enough to think of that IC...
...Because Marty considers himself to be something of a "Renaissance Man."

I need to make a SAN check or see a doctor because Jesus wept how can one man be this fucking deluded? I want to scream in rage, laugh histerically, shriek in horror or simply curl up and pray for God to "make the bad man go away!!!"

Oh god...I'm gonna need another rage-tumor removed.

Anyway, ZeRoller/Cael wanted to get his hands on D-Engines, which are the Phlebotinum in CT that make Mecha possible as they "Make infinite energy from nothing". Marty wasn't going to allow that because the D-engines, besides being classified, use
>"higher-dimensional mathematics so your mind can't deal with it and you go insane."

Order more than 5 tons of R'lyehian Fancycrete and we'll throw in an impossible engine, absolutely free! And don't worry about harmful emissions because they draw power-
>"From the space between spaces"

And the butchering of science doesn't stop there! Though it will continue in the next post!
Bullshit. If this is how Marty acts when he's having "fun", there's no way in hell anyone could stand him set to neutral long enough to be his considered his "friend".
please tell me this nightmare ends with someone screaming in his face what a fucking retarded dipshit he is or at the very least punch the fucker in his smug face?

Okay, so a large part of why Marty pulled so many shenanigans is that with the party not entirely willing to go along with his BULLSHIT anymore, they wanted to capture a live Dhohanoid. This is why Marty had the "Token Nazzadi" of the local Tagers have a spaz-attack, so they'd give up that line of questioning. Well the team weren't about to let this little cunt have his way anymore and ran through their options, which shrank more and more as they thought them up.

Remember how Marty equates "Powerful" with "I'm immune to that!", as his way of feeling superior to people?
The Dhohanoids can't be poisoned or sedated.
They don't need to eat, breathe or sleep.
Their senses can't be destructively overloaded, (no blinding or deafening)
They 'could' be physically restrained, but the PC's can't find/make anything strong enough and they can just shapeshift anyway.

Jin: "So what would happen if we pushed one face-first into a belt sander?"
>"They'll regenerate so fast it won't matter."
Cael: "what about if we break their bones into toothpicks and inject them with hydrogen fluoride and antimony pentafluoride so the constant exposure to acid keeps the bones from healing?"
>"They are immune to chemicals"
>"And antimony doesn't exist anymore."

And the list goes on from the blog,

optically active metamaterials, BSCCO, NMR, gene guns, CO2 lasers, nickel column chromatography, horseradish peroxidase, nitinol, etorphine, 3-methylfentanyl, miniprep kits, dolphins, artificial neural networks, flux compression generators, PEM fuel cells, atomic clocks, yellowcake uranium, Farnsworth-Hirsch fusors, deuterium gas, single-walled carbon nanotubes, basic oxygen steelmaking, graphene, pulse jet motors, diamond anvil cells, and pentazenium

Though the OP cannot. He will return in the morning, hopefully to have the last bits of this story put up before the thread is Saged. Somebody archive just in case?
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>Rick and Vamp!Marty's

What the fuck have you done this time Vamp!Morty !?!?! What has Grandpa told you about fucking with the dimensions?!
Ah geeze Rick, y-ya know I'm kind of a ninja vampire god now Rick, so I'm immune to you now Rick.
You shut the fuck up you little *BUURP* Bastard! you are such a pain in my ass! Now I have to spend a perfectly good afternoon un-fucking reality! Pulled a real Jerry, Morty.
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Ah, ah geeze Rick, I mean I-I kind of outlawed the laws of physics because I'm a ninja vampire god now Rick, so I-I dunno if you can do that...
I'm Mr.Meeseeks!
Bimpedy bampedy boo~
>Had some text raging and rambling about how much I hate Marty
>Browser crashes
>text gone
Well fuck.

I'll not rewrite that for now. Ill settle with
>They 'could' be physically restrained, but the PC's can't find/make anything strong enough and they can just shapeshift anyway.
Wow, that faggit hasn't even read the books. Pic related.

Also Apprentice, do you know how that idiot came to the conclusion that he'd have 18 int?
Narcissism isn't a crime if you believe it's true.
I think the proper solution here is to knock the guy out and then claim they did and rolled for stuff while the GM was unconscious and therefore unable to get his autyst self insert to retcon away portions of reality, [troll-logic]because since he has a psychic link clearly the setting progresses in real time without him[/troll-logic]. Preferably involving just writing the story of "the giant thing that ate all autysts in every universe except this one". Or just steal his book and copypasta as much gay porn as possible into it.
Knock him out. Say that his phsycic connection to Vamp!Marty made Vamp!Marty also be knocked out along with every single one of his clones and every single person he has a mind link to. Proclaim that the (ugh) authyr player rewrote all of reality in that time and is he new replacement of Vamp!Marty.
No, just let him strip away Vamp!Martys powers. And take away his FREE cable. fucker will commit sudoku
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I wonder what would happen if, upon meeting Vamp!Marty, one of the players just went full-on worship mode. Run up to him, fall onto their knees, hug his ankles, cry tears of joy at their glorious saviour coming and delivering them all from Evil™.

If he recovers from the shock of a legitimate fulfilment of his inner desires (I feel like he views his 'PCs' as anti-heros or something; people to be accepted, not loved), then it'd be interesting to see how he would have reacted. Blast the PC's head off using Magic Moomoo®? Turn away with some 'gritty/dark' comment? Flat out ignore them?

Or maybe DM!Marty goes through his 'you can't do that' routine because Vamp!Marty has a special aura that is only penetrable by plot devices.

Hmm, who knows.
>just like in real life, Marty has an aura that causes people to be repulsed by his presence
Probably end the session because his brain is exploding over thinking between the options of rewarding a player for sucking up and giving him the only molecule of respect he'll ever have in his entire life or punishing the player like he desperately wants to do and lose the only imaginary respect he'll ever have in his entire life.
Interlude music? Interlude music. Fits the theme of this thread perfectly.

Rick= 40k Krieger PC who went down against Vamp!Marty a la Pius versus Horus, except disrespected IC and OOC by Marty the entire fucking time.
>So much rage.png

Since Marty can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground, ZeRoller/Cael had to rely on steadily more ludicrous and theoretical science shenanigans to try ANYTHING. And ZeRoller tried to make a point about this.

ZR: Suggestion to break into a minor-dhohanoid run facility and figure out how they get around the scans
>"Can't do that cause I'm a cunt"
ZR: "boost several tons of nanofabricator-laden blockade runner into trans-lunar insertion via one-pulse subterranean nuclear space cannon (hey, the NEG has spare nukes), evade the Migou blockade through sheer speed and shrapnel, have the nanofabs construct a subsurface quench gun on the dark side of the Moon, and kinetic-harpoon a minor Dhohanoid facility from orbit in order to break in"

I reiterate, ZR is smarter than me, and WAY smarter than Marty because this was said so Marty could realize he'd made the enemies too powerful.
>"Anything in what you just said is banned and Cael doesn't know how to do rocket science."

Marty has Favored Enemy: Subtlety and +20 to all dodge checks when somebody is making a point.

Cael could make bombs, and went about making something with...a Haber-Bosch reactor vessel? (I got nuttin') and Marty had banned so many chemicals he was making stuff that goes BOOM out of electricity and damp air. (sounds like Orc tech) The kicker for this is that Cael had to make this machine out of beer kegs and KATANAS

He used katana's for the electrodes, cause Marty wasn't gonna hurt the precious little baby snowflake swords and make them anything than Vamp!Marty's gift to mankind. Fucking Weeaboo's man...
Just out of curiosity, do we have any stories about Marty on the other side of the screen

I'm morbidly curious to learn how he behaved as a player
>Haber-Bosch reactor vessel
Looks something like this:

The Haber-Bosch process basically turns N2 and H2 (Hydrogen and Nitrogen gas) into Ammonia very efficiently.

From out of that fail, came joy.

What the machine was supposed to produce, would have been white, crystalline with 2x the power of TNT.

Marty ruled that what Cael got was "Unstable, brown chunky crap that smells nasty"

He didn't blink when Cael mixed in caffeine and foil sealed it.

Henderson brand Coffee! Perks you up in the morning with 5d6 per pack!

That's one issue 'solved', but the other problem is DNA scanning Dhohanoids, because Marty would fap over how many sensors existed to thwart the players, and make the Dhohanoids more and more immune to those sensors. The phrase was:
You can't make something out of
>"Basically not matter as we know it"
and expect it to pass a DNA test!

But it get's better! Oh my god this is soo fucking GOOD!

Marty pretty much outlawed anything the players could do to get a sample of Dhohanoid DNA, with or without capturing a live one, which lead to such gems as

>"You can figure out what species something is from skin cells that have passed through an air system. riiiiiight. and why don't we do this in real life?"
>"Besides, Chrysalis has the resources to completely replace their agents' DNA to foil tracking."

And the creme-de-la-creme, the piece-de-resistance of Marty's retardation, revealing that he doesn't understand how evolution or DNA works.
>"Genes are like muscles; the more you use them, the more you end up with, and the more are passed on to your offspring, like with giraffe necks."

Marty's the result of 1000 years of people trying to create the ultimate Dumbass. And when he was born, his mother and father saw the culimination of their people's dream and whispered "Oh god...what have we done..."

And we're through explaining his PC Cock-punchery! Mostly...one last bit...
According to Wikipedia, passing large volumes of Chlorine gas (possibly also extracted via electrolysis) through Ammonia makes a very explosive chemical.

So yeah, ZeRoller is hella smart.

Blackspire was useless to Jin and Darya, and Marty had to take a nerf bat to Cael regarding the Scions. While that was MOSTLY done through shenanigans like "Cael needs to have a plot relevant item on him at all times, even when he's not performing a ritual" or he couldn't get visions, it was also because Marty threw one of his faggot hissy-fits.

Why? ZR said "Okay then, since I know that your [Autyst] Avatar is coming, I'm gonna have Cael perform a ritual while holding a few Katana's and a copy of Twilight. Those should be pretty 'plot relevant', eh?"

The Scions shun Cael for showing such disrespect before an Elder God (Who is dead or in a coma, Marty never specified), although Cael does recieve a vision of Star Destroyers glassing Chicago, and the usual prophetic here's-10-pages-to-read-and-an-hour-of-your-life-you'll-never-get-back ramblings that amounted to.
>A great army is coming to fight the war to end all wars
>you are being watched
>fulfilling your roles will result in being rewarded by your future emperor, resistance will be harshly punished

Here ZR got ideas and debated Marty on how certain tech could function in other 'verses (Hyperspace isn't a thing in CT) and we get a window into Marty's style of arguing or debate.

Which is to WIN (never compromise) and win through default because after 6 hours of defining the words "You" or "Are" or "A" or "Faggot" people will just give up.

Eventually, ZR walked away from Skype and coded until he no longer got the messenger dings. He went back to Skype.
>"Guided rituals won't work anymore, and there was a backlash on Cael for the messed up ritual. He's blind in one eye, it can't be fixed, and he's lost a point of WIS for no longer having a whole body."

Salty piss-baby is Saaalllttyyyy. And that's why Blackspire is now the only option the PC's have to get anything done.

Also, somebody archive this on suptg? I don't know how...

>Thread is already archived; updating content.
>Sanity checking passed. Continuing with archival.


I take it it's time for thread 3?
Soooo, I've been keeping a running tally of what systems that are crucial to human life Marty has destroyed and...

Yeah, he fucked it all up. Everything is dead, cellular respiration is gone, cancer has ravaged the entirety of life, and the skeletal system is non-existent.
FUCK forgot to take off my trip. Sorry.
The tl;dr is that Fenians were/are Irish nationalists

Marty actually happed to be on the right track, by the way, the term is derived from Fianna by those who wanted a military revolution to happen.

So the PC's have a very valuable Macguffin, but rather than running with THAT, they use it as bait for their Henderson plot and capture a Dhohanoid, with the initial plan being a FUCKTON of net's and making net guns.

And through it all, Marty pulls his asshole shenanigans, but the team has anticipated his bullshit and is reverse-Eldrading him better than he can do.

"We're gonna put it on Future-Underworld E-bay saying it's for sale."
>"You might get something set up for an exchange in a week."
"Okay it's up.
>"You instantly get a message saying 'we'll meet in 3 days'." ^__^

Better than the 1 day the PC's were expecting. They get to work making their net guns, arguing physics the whole way with Marty who thinks "you get more gas pressure from gas than fire" (You should totally keep using/modify the needle guns instead of making real guns!)

PC's said fuck that and made the guns.


2 Engineering/Repair checks, to make BLANKS. Per Bullet.


and then the tensile strength idiocy which I alluded to in the last thread.

>Players can't buy nets or even FIBERS for nets, so they have to make it themselves.
>Strongest they could make is 200MPa.
>4lb test fishing line is 178MPa, or according to ZR
>"Half the strength of human hair"

Though they could STEAL some Kevlar to make nets. Which they do and discover that:
>"Trucker is a specific language, so the guy flying the hovercar is instantly suspicious when you spoke to him over the CB and weren't speaking Trucker."
Yes, over the CB, because FUCK YOU GET BACK ON MY RAILROAD!

And all this to steal 1 spool of Kevlar thread, amounting to a kilometer of string. Okay then, we can make the nets from this.
>"It takes 2 minutes to tie a knot, so you might finish in a few days, if you sleep in shifts"

Just cause you still use Velcro shoes doesn't mean it takes a normal person 2 minutes to tie a fucking KNOT Marty...
Thank you! Probably, since I kinda rushed that last post...Fuck it, I'll make thread three when I get back from breakfast.


Then I'll be able to give more detail to the thread/net/knot retardation.

Thanks again btw!
If there's EBay then how the fuck is there not 40lb test fishing line? You can get that shit at Walmart for 9$ a spool of 150m
you've got <5 pages worth before you get bumped off the board. Just so you know.
>fishing doesn't exist in this setting
Well he made CO2 not soluble in water, so every fish on the planet died.
Oh right, adding that to the tally. Now even single-celled organisms aren't viable. Maybe a few anaerobic bacteria.
Wait, I guess that would also mean a substantial part of the Deep ones population should be dead
>No, they're immune.
>explains to Marty that if CO2 isn't soluble in water then every multicellular organism on the planet dies within two minutes
>Deep ones are immune to death, guys. Haven't you ever read lovecraft?
>Marty's bullshit excuse is probably something incredibly retarded like
>no all organisms use nitrogen instead of oxygen.
>Says that you're being stupid.
>Says that now all organism now run on Nitrogen because he used his Psychic link to Vamp!Marty to re-engineer life to use Nitrogen instead of Oxygen.
>point out several base functions of the universe that make this impossible and watch as Marty bans gravity and nuclear fusion.
If he responded to everything by saying quoting "my psychic link to Vamp!Marty" then I would be slightly more...not 'accepting' per se, but it would definitely be less infuriating then seeing him make up increasingly BULLSHIT reasons why the PC's can't do something.
Why am I tasting the color splunge with my eyeballs?
This is before vamp!marty even makes his appearance in the game. Shit is going to go down later.
That's not how you spell glorious Anon
How good is CTech actually? I can do with the premise of animu mecha meets Cthulhu mythos.
But how well done is the setting and system?
>I swear to the Emperor, I'd ship Marty to Comorragh in a big pink bow and a note:
>>Keep him alive, but otherwise, have FUN!!!
You'll get him back with a note
>We ran out of things to do to him after the Pipe cleaners in his orifices and the Acid injections in his rectum.
This is my World...

>Marty, I'm going to stick you into a Shoggoths asshole.
It will spit him out not out of the same hole though.
New bread?
After OP has had his.
shouldn't take him too long then.
Thats what we thought, but then OP choked on his toast.
OP is kill posts usually tend to summon him back.
Like so

YO! OP! Get back in here and finish off your story! Don't go chicken on us you scaredy-cat!
Looks like we'll have to search for it on the index now, seeing as how it's unlikely OP will create and link to the new thread in the time remaining for this thread.

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