>>41189365
But you can't shake the feeling that you have to be there. Maybe it's sheer bloody-minded curiosity over that televised throwdown between CPU Green Heart and CPU White Heart- the patron goddesses of Leanbox and Lowee, and a potential herald to the nastiest war Gamindustri's seen since who knows when. Maybe you just don't have anything better to do- and neither do your allies, who don't seem to have anything better to do than to follow your lead. Or maybe you just owe it to Mojang. Either way...

"Stand aside."

... you've got to deal with this viking wannabe who's blocking your path into town- and the only road that'll take you further into Leanbox, and toward the Basilicom. She's not much taller than you are, and much less heavily armored than you are- /usually/ are. But the silver-haired girl's red eyes are deadly serious as they pan across your little group: Rokko, her blue robotic armor gleaming dully in the sun; the Shovel Knight, whose own armor shines with a light of its own; and you, armorless and at least a head shorter than either of them.

"Can't let you or your bodyguards pass, friend," she says dryly, her voice accented to shape around the vowels.

(Cont.)

>>41189375
The Blue Bomber's got nothing to say, but your other party member steps up to bat. "Come now," the Shovel Knight booms, warm and friendly and more than a little theatrically- although it's hard to get a read on her face through that ridiculous helmet of hers. "I'm a licensed adventurer with the Guild, and I just received special permission from Mistress Vert herself! Have I not dealt with enough paperwork to earn me the right of free passage through her lands?"

The viking girl shakes her head. "Order came down from Mistress Vert herself; no one in, no one out. Not even Leanbox natives. Not until the situation at the Basilicom stabilizes."

... you look to the left and to the right as Shovel Knight keeps trying to convince this girl. There are no other guards around. Hell, you haven't even seen any guards running around the roads, and you'd think they'd be all over the place over something like this.

You don't have time to mess around with this chick.

[ ] [STRONGARM] Shove past the viking girl. You outnumber her three to one, and she can't keep tabs on ALL of you at once.
[ ] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?
[ ] [TRUTH] Give it to her straight: you're running in on a rescue mission, and you're running late enough as it is.
[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] Get Shovel Knight to cough up some of those precious gemstones that're as common as dirt for her. Sometimes, the more direct forms of persuasion are the most effective.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>41189392
>[ ] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?
>[ ] [TRUTH] Give it to her straight: you're running in on a rescue mission, and you're running late enough as it is.

>>41189392
>Her and what army?
I really don;t wanna say this if she is who I think she is

>[ ] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?
>[ ] [TRUTH] Give it to her straight: you're running in on a rescue mission, and you're running late enough as it is.

>>41189392
>[ ] [TRUTH] Give it to her straight: you're running in on a rescue mission, and you're running late enough as it is.
Nice timing Blorp, maybe this will make me feel less sad.

I doubt it though.

>>41189392
>[ ] [TRUTH] Give it to her straight: you're running in on a rescue mission, and you're running late enough as it is.
I mean, if it doesn't work, we can challenge her afterward. Probably. And if that fails...dig into town?

>>41189392
>[ ] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?

IT'S BACK YAY!

>>41189392
>Iwata dead
Bad omens for Lowee

>>41189392
>[ ] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?
Welcome back Blorp.

>>41189392
>[x] [CHALLENGE] Yeah? Her and what army? Does she have any goddamn proof that Vert's even the one who gave her those orders? Does she even know what's going /on/?
The viking girl will get some ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT if she don't let us pass.

>>41189470
>I really don;t wanna say this if she is who I think she is
Oh shit, Vikings huh.

>>41189392
>[X] [TRUTH]
>[X] [CHALLENGE]

Ugh. You unclip your flask from your- from your belt which you're not wearing, and you've got the feeling that dwelling on /that/ will land you in a whole heap of trouble with metaphysics, so you clear your mind and enjoy your drink in peace.

Fine. She wants the truth? She can have the truth. It's not exactly highly sensitive information, and it's worth a fucking shot. So you lay it onto this viking girl, keeping it short and simple: you've got a good friend holed up in that Basilicom, and there's a good chance she's wrapped up in all of this bullshit.

The viking girl shoots you a dubious look. She doesn't seem to be buying it. "So? How do I know if you're telling the truth? For all I know, you could be exactly the sort of person who Mistress Vert told me to keep an eye out for-"

You can't help but snap back, your temper heating to a quick boil- how do YOU know if SHE'S actually got her orders from the goddess, and isn't just playing the pretty little guardswoman just to fuck with everyone's heads, huh?

"Watch your tone, little dwarf," she growls back, leaning heavily on the nickname. "You don't want to cross me. Not on this."

Her and what army?

"Whoa, hold on!" Shovel Knight steps between the both of you, and the viking pretty much disappears, replaced by your reflection in your party member's impeccable blue armor. "There's no need for this enmity, right? Are we not all on the same side? But it's as my ally here says, we're on the trail of an abducted adventurer..."

Rokko pulls you back a bit as Shovel Knight defuses the situation. "C-Careful with. This one," she murmurs to you, static-laced interference clouding her electronic voice. "R-Records show that. She is much s-stronger in a non-adventuring c-capacity. Crossing her i-is, ill-advised."

Her? Her who? And how does Rokko know about Leanbox inhabitants than /you/ do?

(Cont.)

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>>41190525
"Elda," the Blue Bomber states simply. "Known for being a s-stickler for the law, when she c-chooses to uphold it."

"Cease your flowery words," Elda finally snaps, waving away Shovel Knight's long-winded explanations and pointing straight at you. "You! Is it true? You are searching for Mojang, then, hoping to rescue her from Leanbox's enemies?"

Yes! For the love of Armok, that's exactly what you've been trying to get through that thick helmet of hers-

Elda barks out a quick humorless laugh. "Good. Great! I've been waiting for you."

... wait, what?

"I was told by the goddess herself to keep an ear out for someone spouting precisely this story, and you lot land right on my doorstep." She cracks her knuckles gleefully, stepping toward the three of you- an alarm sounds off in your head. The three-on-one odds don't even seem to faze her. "So you'd better come with me peacefully. Agreed?"

Shovel Knight holds up her hands placatingly. "Now hold on-"

Elda snarls, and a trio of armored, faceless guards literally step out of the shadows- out of HER shadow, climbing up from the earth itself. Imposing despite their light armor, dressed in face-concealing helmets, they look like forces of nature made flesh. "I said, stop right there, criminal scum."

[ ] [OKAY] Fine. Let her take you into custody. If Vert's behind all this- and even if she isn't- then you'll maybe learn a thing or two.
[ ] [HELL NO] Fight! Charge straight for Elda and try to knock her on her scrawny ass.
[ ] [FUCK NO] Flee! You've got some new tricks up your sleeve, stuff you've been itching to try out.
[ ] [STALL] Hahaha, okay, wow, so this has all been one big misunderstanding, right?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

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>>41190560
Blorp, did you hear? Iwata died.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywVCbTLwffg

>>41190560
>[x] [STALL] Hahaha, okay, wow, so this has all been one big misunderstanding, right?
Awww man, I find this thread just as I gotta sleep. Oh well!

>>41190560
>[x] [WRITE-IN]
Wait, are you saying you will be taking us directly to Basilicom, with all haste, without anyone interrupting our journey, and nobody asking any questions? Sounds good to me!

>>41190560
[X] [FUCK NO] Flee! You've got some new tricks up your sleeve, stuff you've been itching to try out.

Yeah no. If she's confident fighting 3-on-1, then she must have a nasty trick or ability. Actually, can anyone more familiar with Skyrim tell me if she has any terrain-destroying abilities?

>>41190560
>"I said, stop right there, criminal scum."
Dammit blorp, my sides hurt.

>[ ] [FUCK NO] Flee! You've got some new tricks up your sleeve, stuff you've been itching to try out.

The shinies call to me.

>>41190560
>[ ] [HELL NO] Fight! Charge straight for Elda and try to knock her on her scrawny ass.
OUTTA MY WAY NERD, match her scrub for scrub, bring out the Dorfs.

But shit, it is Skyrim

>>41190560
We can take her and her allies! We know her weakness is an arrow to the knee! And stealing her sweet rolls!

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>>41190601
>>41189507
>>41189566
Yeah, I heard about it right before the thread. Came really damn close to canceling tonight's run, but here we are.

I'm pouring one out for Mr. Iwata after I'm done tonight.

>>41190560
>[ ] [FUCK NO] Flee! You've got some new tricks up your sleeve, stuff you've been itching to try out.

>>41190560
>[X] [HELL NO] Fight! Charge straight for Elda and try to knock her on her scrawny ass.

>>41190667
Well terrain manipulation is not possible in Elder Scrolls due to nature of the game (huge 3d environments) but I reckon Dragon Shouts are pretty damn powerful to many things in comparison.

>>41190777
On second thought, if Elda knows how to use mods, she would have a large (steam workshop sized) inventory of stuff to drop onto terrain.

>>41190831
>if Elda knows how to use mods
MLP textured weapons

>>41190831
Fairly certain mods are not on the table, simply because of the sheer variety of things it gives everyone. Urist included.

>>41190872
Even if Mods aren't included, Urist might be invincible just based on Elda's programming. Kids are unkillable in Skyrim, so if Urist looks enough like a Kid she'd be unkillable too.

I mean fuck, it worked for Babette.

>>41190655
Seconding this one.

>>41190560
>[X] [FUCK NO!]

As the guards advance on the three of you, you have just enough time to realize that your allies will be doing absolutely nothing. Rokko stares straight at them, looking mildly resigned- maybe she's figured her chances against the guards aren't that good, or she just doesn't want to blow up assholes who aren't strictly /evil/. Shovel Knight's still doing her level best to talk it out, appealing to Elda's sense of honor or whatnot, but it doesn't seem to be doing much good.

It falls to you to get everyone out of this mess and back on track, so you do what any sensible Dwarf Fortress personification would do: hold your breath, reach into your soul, and throw some rotting troglodyte corpses at the approaching guards.

"What is this, alphabet soup day?" Elda snorts, easily sidestepping one of the yellow 't's- it smacks against the chest of the Whiterun guard behind her before tumbling to the ground, underneath the shadow of a nearby awning- and pulls a wickedly glowing axe out from thin air. "Look, we can do this the easy way, or the-"

And then she disappears in a billowing cloud of purple miasma, her words choking off into a horrified scream. The other 'corpses' immediately follow suit, and soon the guards are all engulfed in the nastiest-smelling rot clouds ever known to dwarfkind.

"Oh my GOD, Urist," Shovel Knight groans, staggering back away from the miasma with a hand over her helmet's viewport- Rokko places a steadying hand on her shoulderpad, stopping her instantly. "What in the world-"

Look, you'll apologize later, okay? Hell, you'll even write this crazy bitch an apology letter or something AFTER all this shit's finished going down, and especially when Mojang's out and safe, so let's just-

One guard hurtles out of the rot like some unstoppable cheaply-armored juggernaut, sword in hand. "You'll pay in blood, criminal!"

[ ] [DODGE!]
[ ] [COUNTER!]
[ ] [SUMMON!]

>>41191350
[X][Dodge!]

>>41191350
>[ ] [DODGE!]

>>41191350
>[x] [DODGE!]
We're lightly armored, so that gives dodge bonus, yes?

>>41191406
We're still in jammies.

If I got here earlier, I would have suggested getting changed before trying to get past Elda.

>>41191350
>[ ] [DODGE!]

>>41191350
>[ ] [DODGE!]
Dodge and run to Mojang

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Right, seems pretty unanimous, so-

>Urist Twelfthbay gets the hell away!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 75, bonus of +5 due to nightgown lightness!

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>41191465
zoom!

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>41191465

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>41191465
>roll 100
>Turn into Nights

Trying!>>41191465

>>41191524
based anon.

>>41191524
Ah ha~

Saved by the d100

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>41191527
Well that sucked.

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>>41191350
>>41191524
>[X] [DODGE!]
>Success!

You feel as light as a fucking feather today, even despite being tragically wrapped in thin wispy uselessly girly clothes rather than good solid dwarven steel. ... you're not gonna admit that this goddamn nightgown's contributed to your dodging abilities. So whatever the case, you manage to keep one step ahead of the guard's calculating swings, but you're having trouble giving him the slip-

And it's then that something very disturbing occurs to you: you're dodging some really close calls here, and you can /feel/ the strength behind each and every sword stroke. He's STRONGER than you, if only just; while that's par for the course for the old you, you're heads and shoulders above that level now. This sort of thing shouldn't be possible for some adventurer's brain-dead minion, for crying out loud. And Elda's got three of them!

Three of them, who will all be enough to overwhelm your ass if they manage to get out of that miasma cloud.

Right then, fuck this shit- you aim a kick at the guardsman's knee, and to your surprise, he goes down immediately with a yelp of pain. That's your cue to scamper on back, joining back up with Rokko and the Shovel Knight as you all beat a retreat back down the path, down the way you came.

"There must be some sort of mistake," Shovel Knight mutters to herself, shaking her head. "CPU Green Heart, trying to detain anyone who talks about saving Mojang?"

Look, between that kerfluffle against Blanc and her activating the Red Ring of Death, you're willing to bet that Vert isn't firing on all fucking cylinders right now-

"But that makes no sense! Just- just look all around you!" Shovel Knight insists, waving a hand around the surrounding area.

(Cont.)

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>>41192528
You didn't really bother taking a good look at the scenery- you've passed this place too many times to count- but you can't help but take a quick glance. Outside this podunk Leanbox town, with its small (but sleek) metallic buildings with undertones of bright green, there IS an awful lot of farmland, with more blades of golden wheat or leafy green carrots than you can count. It looks startlingly familiar, actually: symmetrical fields, elevated on flat platforms of soil that're ringed with wooden logs, with filled irrigation channels cutting straight down the middle-

Mojang's work. All this farmland is straight out of Mojang's playbook.

"Exactly!" Shovel Knight slaps you on the back, almost hard enough to bowl you right over. "CPU Green Heart prizes Mojang enough to want to keep her close, enough to sign her on with the juiciest, most flexible exclusive contract ever, and now she's doing /this/? It's almost like we're looking at-"

"T-Two Verts."

Rokko finally breaks her silence, her expressionless face looking a little slacker than usual. "A pattern emerges. I-I don't like it," she deadpans. "It's A-Arfoire's handiwork."

... well, you can't say you haven't been seeing it coming, between those outcast stooges- Keeper et al- and even those fucking cultists from what feels like ages ago. But to hear Rokko saying it out loud makes you want to crawl into a hole and wait out Gamindustri inevitably blowing itself up.

Shovel Knight stares at Rokko for some time. "You think this- this dark goddess is running around, looking like Vert?"

The Blue Bomber's answer is cut off when one of those thrice-cursed guards steps out from behind a nearby bush, blocking your advance; behind you, you hear Elda's running footsteps. The guard faces down Rokko, and seems to swell in size, visibly growing stronger as he re-calibrates himself to match this veteran adventurer's power. "Stop right there, criminal-"

"Okay, that's enough of that."

(Cont.)

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>>41192558
A hollow roar fills the air, and a bright green bolt, trailing stray energy behind it like a comet's tail, soars over your head and slams into the Whiterun guard's chest with enough force to knock him back a few feet. Amazingly, whatever the hell that was doesn't even pierce the medieval fantasy armor, leaving only a blackened mark.

THAT pulls Elda up short, and the white-haired Nordic girl readies some sort of shield, made out of materials you can't even begin to guess at. "Hah! You brought friends, little dwarf? Accomplices to the conspiracy against CPU Green Heart, I'll bet!"

"Oh, stop that," the sniper retorts quietly, strolling down the path- her voice carries despite the distance, and you're staring at some... some soldier. Or a general, given the regal cut of her clothes; she's carrying some nightmare gun that's all hollow space and searing green light. "I've gone to great lengths to keep tabs on this 'little dwarf,' and I'm not going to let you kill her because you think CPU Green Heart suddenly made you her chosen watchdog."

She draws up level with you and shoots you a glance from the corner of her eyes. "So, yeah. Maia says hi. Also, come with me if you want to live."

[TO BE CONTINUED]

>>41192587
>X-COM
I totally forgot about her.

>[TO BE CONTINUED]
It's over!
Thanls for the thread Blorp, it's nice to have you back.

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Right, I'm going to have to wrap that up there because of the time, but I should be able to get back into a reasonable schedule now!

Next thread ought to be on Thursday, 7/16, starting at 8-ish pm EST; as usual, updates to scheduling will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest (and I'll be able to get back to them faster now!).

Thanks for participating, guys, and for your patience over the past few canceled threads and/or strange run times; hope you enjoyed tonight's run, and hope to catch you later!

>>41192635
Thanks for the thread Blorp.

Summer Lesson-tan when?

>>41192587
Short but sweet. When's the next thread blorp?

>>41192649
>>41192635
Ah just had to wait a sec

>>41192587
>"So, yeah. Maia says hi. Also, come with me if you want to live."
So Maia's been helping us out?

Is there a secret resistance group somewhere?

>>41192648
>Summer Lesson-tan when?

I'm not even sure that counts as a game

I'm also pretty sure I'd have to start letting in a whole bunch of other related games in, and that'd just turn this quest into something else entirely


>>41192680
Apparently, yes! And it's probably less of a resistance group and more that, from all appearances, Maia knows some shit, and she's going to some lengths to make sure Urist survives long enough to hear it.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

Oh boy, the PC exclusives are growing in strength. Go XCOM-tan!

Who was Maia again?
Is this Histoire, or Mini-Histy?

What the hell are Neptune and Noire doing?
Why is Histoire depending on Urist instead of Neptune, Nepgear, IF and Compa to fix shit?

Why are there so many questions?

>>41193413
>Who was Maia again?
Civilization IIRC.

>>41192841
Blorp, Rance-tan when?

>>41194146
>Rance bemoans the loss of hyper-weapon as much as we do the beard

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>>41194161

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>>41194246
wait wrong picture

I'm glad these threads are going again, though it has the nasty side effect of causing me to make up original characters for the setting in the vain chance they appear.

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DAMMIT MISSED THE THREAD AGAIN

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Sonofabitch, first time seeing a live thread and then missed it.

I hope we'll meet Legacy of Kain at some point.

>>41193045
It's all falling into place, the resurrection of Window Heart draws near.

>>41197391
>Windows cape
>Constantly eating an apple
>Wearing a penguin suit
what glory

>>41197391
>PC being Master Race
>Icon of the main OS being four colours
Would be perfect if the colours corresponded to main Hyperdimension goddesses but ah well.

>>41192587
>XCOM
Where the hell did you get that?

>>41197450
>rather than a single weapon, her CPU form has access to the Gates of Babillon, granting her access to an unlimited supply of varied CPU weapons
>she constantly uses quotes from old PC games in casual conversation

>>41197453
>PC being Master Race
What if she actually calls her adventurers the Master Race?

>>41197453
>>41198358
Is PC goddess actually hitler and was slain for trying to kill everyone else for the glory of the "master race"?

>>41198498
Now that would be glorious.
The only thing that would make that better is if the fact that some PC gamers pirate games to see if they're worth buying before doing so makes her and Arfoire friendly enemies.