>>41027807
Sorry broski, I'm faithful to commissar Gaurun.

>>41027807
Dammit Pikey, they tell you not to say something, and then you immediately say it. No wonder the Commisar is having a break.

But since he is, I can hand out these Promethium Lances I put together!

>>41027807
... Nice teeth.

>>41027869
Its me, just wanted to spice things up a little.

>>41027875
"GLARRARGHBLEGRARBLE!"

>>41027891
Gibbers, I only let you out of the box so I could give you a Promethium Lance. for me to test. Do I have to put you back in?

>>41027909
Can I at least have some rations? I don't think my savings from Mara will last much longer...

>>41027938
Alright, here's the deal. You take care of Pikey, and I'll give you my rations.

>>41027949
Thank you! *Charges the chaos spawn*

>>41027978
"GLARBLARBLEGRARHGBLE!"

>>41027998
You look tasty... *Bites into "Pikey's" flesh*

What is this Prometheum Lance? Do not set this off on board ship, fools! I have mind to tell Mechanicus as well!

>>41028187
*Mumbles something while still chewing on chunk of meat*

*groans*
Am I the only one with a hangover straight from the warp?

>>41028144
>>41028240

*slaps Gibbers*
BAD GIBBERS! Junior commissar is not for eating!

>>41028493
*spits the chunk out of his mouth in surprise* but I was told to...

>>41028577
Gibbers, you are getting worse. Since when do you listen to Lemmings, and since when does he have any sensible ideas? Did you forget to put water in your ears this morning?

Here, have my ration meanwhile.

>>41028601
Ruh, the Junior Commisar is clearly a Chaos Spawn. So unless we end this quickly, your hangover will be the least of your concerns.

Here, take this Promethium Lance.

File: LaughingHeretics.jpg (224 KB, 900x563)

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>>41027807
Hey that's not fair I want to be a Chaos Spawn toOoOoHAKalSlOUGhMEOOf-Hee!

>>41028625
What's a chaos fawn? Do they jump around the merry dark realms? Do their mothers get shot on videopict?

>>41028712
Get over that stupid Hangover and start listening properly, or I will yell at you. Really loudly. The Junior Commisar is currently a Chaos Spawn that will kill us all unless we kill it. Understand?

>>41028625
Fool Lemming! Do not fire that techno-heretical thing! You miss, you blow hole in bulk head! Make hole in hull itself! Disrupt gellar field!

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Remember the old OP pic for threads like this. Even before that, it was Grandpa Dreadnought

>>41028802
Uhhh... Captain? The Promethium Lance can't be fired. It's literally a Promethium filled tank on the end of a stick with a wire fuse wrapped around the entirety of the shaft. I can't miss using it.

>>41028844
And what if someone knock it out of hand? What then, fool Lemming?

>>41028844
Sooo... it's a fire version of the lances the cavalry scouts use?

(On a nearby Inquisition Frigate)
*sniff sniff* I smell Heresy... A smelly kind of Heresy. The Lemming kind...

Cadianite, reportin' in!

>>41028896
Yes. It also explodes.

>>41028894
It doesn't detonate just on contact, Captain. You have to light the fuse.

>>41028742
*groans*
Just my day. Splendid. Splendid.

*loads Long-las and shoulders it*
At least I can usually take them out at a nice distance.

>>41028926
I suddenly feel an odd chill down my spine, and I don't know why.

>>41028940
Serves you right for drinking while on duty. You're lucky the Commisar isn't around.

>>41028950
The Commissar is... busy, shall I say. And unlikely to enforce regulations about drinking on duty.

*takes aim*
*fires*
*hits chaos spawn*
At least even hungover, I'm still not too bad of a marksman.

>>41028926
Guys I now have a feeling of impending doom. Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

>>41028894
*vox crackles to life*
This is Inquisitor Vilhelm, by order of the Inquisition I order your ship to heave to and prepare to be boarded for inspection. We cannot afford mistakes so close to a Chaos World. Especially the Spawn kind.

>>41028984
I have a simpler answer to our problem.
>Points flamer at chaos spawn of the former Junior Commissar.
KILL IT WITH HOLY FIRE.

>>41029019
Well, it is efficient. Is that the flamer from the fallen Sister of Battle? How did you get Gary the Catachan to give it to you?

>>41029016
Oh shiiiit.

>>41029064
(Ruh here, forgot to namefag)

>>41029016
Uh oh. HIDE THE LANCES!

>>41029016
Inquisition? And I lost my damn letter too... Where did quartermaster put it?

>>41029064
We have a tendency to stumble across unsupervised weapon caches, to say the least. Now where way I. Right

DIE YOU FORSAKEN CREATURE

>Starts burning the chaos spawn.

This shit is why I want to go back to smuggling xenos relics.

>>41029088
DO NOT DISTURB THE QUARTERMASTER AND THE COMMISSAR!
...
OH hell no, the Inquisition.

>The Inquisitor steps onboard the ship, flanked by a rather nervous techpriest, and what appears to be a studious female guard buried in a clipboard, scribbling notes as she walks through the corridors.

Aaaah. The /tg/ Penal Regiment. It's been too long. For those of you I haven't personally put here, I am Inquisitor Vilhelm, Ordo Hereticus. Now, Where is your Commissar? Lucky for him Sister Thessia was called to other parts of the Imperium...

>>41029016
[mumbled Vostroyan swearing intensifies]
Da, Inquisitor. I inform Capytan Dymtri to pull over.

>>41029079
I WARN YOU LEMMING! I WARN YOU! MECHANICUS WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTHING, COMPARED TO THIS!

>>41029129
>>41029202
>Whispering to Ruh
Think he will recognize what is left of that creature I burned or should I try to sneak it out an airlock?

>>41029202
Probably getting a blowjob from some Sisters Hospitaller or something, the fucker.

>>41029226
I also discovered that, according to the Vostroya Lexicanum page, "khek" is a Vostroyan swear word.

>>41029129
But I need the letter... What do I do, what do I do?!

>>41029232
It's a felinid Quartermaster, actually.

>>41029226
Go with the Airlock plan.

>>41029241
Forget the Letter and go back in the box.

>>41029241
Try shooting self in head. Cannot be killed if you are being dead already, da?

>>41029229
(whispers)
I don't care, throw it out an airlock, I need to go warn the Commissar and Niahaonyan.


*backs away in the shadows and walks away silently*

>>41029241
(whispers in passing)
Gibbers, I'll see if I can find them. With the Commissar, yes?

>>41029241
>noticing Gibbers, a strain enters his voice, followed by a return of his Germanic accent
Aaaah. "Gibbers" I believe? Your benefactor in the Penal Administarium informed me you were still present. Tell me, do you have your missive from the Administarium? My orders were to-
>the Inquisitor is interrupted by the frantic clicking of the techpriest, who starts tapping his shoulder
Vaaat. Vat do you vant!?
>The techpriest cups his hand next to his vox-box while quietly clicking something to the Inquisitor. The inquisitor's glance snaps to Lemming
Is zat so? Hmmm....
>The inquisitor steps over to Lemming before bending at the waist, staring eye to eye with the guardsman, uncomfortably close.
Have you come in contact with any sizable quantity of... Promethium? My Techpriest Acolyte is very... jittery around the holy fire, yes? I worry for his poor circutry...

>>41029241
How good are you at the art of not being seen? I was pretty decent at it back on my homeworld but these voidships are entirely different.

>>41029286
Yes sir.
>starts dragging the burnt remains of the chaos spawn to the closest airlock.

I demand art of this

>>41029348
find us an artfag then, I would like some too.

>>41029310
It is possible that I may have perhaps come into contact with any sized quantity of promethium, if I recall correctly.

But probably not.

At any rate, the Commisar instructed me to give you the full tour! Right this way, sir!

>Strides off into the depths of the ship

>>41029348
I did some for the first two threads

*walks a bit further off into the distance until he can no longer be heard*
*takes his vox*
(whispering)
Commissar Gaurun? Commissar Gaurun? We have the Inquisition on board.
*silence*
Commissar, do you copy?
*still no reply*
FUCK, he turned off his vox.

>>41029310
Lord Inquisitor, what a nice surprise! I have yet to fill my latest report, but you will get it soon for scrutinizing!

>>41029366
>grabs the Guardsman by the helmet and yanks him back into formation.
Nein. I will conduct this inspection how I wish. Certainly not with you as my guide, Lemming. Do you not remember the Incident on Mars? It would be quite foolish to follow your direction, after a blunder such as that.

>the Inquisitor freezes before uttering another word.
*sniff sniff*
>his eyes widen before muttering with malice worthy of Khorne

...HERESY.

Guardsmen! Spread out! There are Chaos Spawn among us! I want the fiends found and cleansed! And WHERE IS GAURUN!?

>>41029424
>muttering under his breath
I swear, if Ruh doesn't get the Commisar soon, we're so dead.

>>41029449
Aaaaaand we're dead.

>>41029389
do more.
especially Commisar/SOB "relations"

>>41029469
I will, promise, just not right now
/wst/ is autosaging, broski

>The inquisitors companions are mostly terrified at this point, with the Techpriest clicking more erratically and rapidly, and the female guardsman visibly shaking, and dropping papers like a nervous japanese schoolgirl who just got kissed by senpai.

>>41029424
>>41029464
*looking a last time over his shoulder, Ruh starts walking away, then once at a safe distance, breaks into a run towards the Commissar's private quarters*
(under his breath) please be alone

>>41029509
>Walks back in from the airlock
Lord inquisitor sir I can personally assure you that there is no chaos spawn on board. Even if there somehow was there won't be for long with Gibbers out of his box.

>>41029509
Something wrong with your people, Inquisitor?

>>41029582
Ach. Bitewave, Lennisia. Cease the boot quaking. Poor example for the guardsmen, terrible for morale.
>the techpriest clicks quietly, while the the female guard just stares at the ground & nods.

Nothing wrong with the poor Acolytes, simply new to Chaos. You'd be hard pressed find a techpriest as skilled as Bitewave or an Administarium as through as Lennisia, moreso with courage behind the skills.
>Lennisia blushes at this visibly.
>Their conversation is interrupted as several crew of the ship round the corner, gibbering and spasming, the clear indicators of Chaos influence
>The Inquisitor brandishes a grin worthy of Tzeentch.
THERE ARE THE CHAOS ABBHERATIONS. CLEANSE THEM IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR!

>>41029557
Chaos spawn? Is that tasty?

>>41029732
I'm sure you'll love it. Not so sure about, well, pretty much everyone else.

>>41029718
Hold on Inquisitor, let me handle this.

>lights the fuse on his Promethium Lance and hurls it in the direction of the crew
>the lance explodes a little while after landing, taking the crew with it

Efficiency, in the Emperor's name.

>Stumbles sleepily into the room, mug of lukewarm recaff in hand
Mornin', all, what's-
>Sees the Inquisitor
>Mumbles nervously
Today's already looking interesting.

>>41029847
We're going to die in the warp now, aren't we? I should have trusted my feeling of impending doom.

>>41029894
*Whispers while visibly shaking* Don't worry... Hold my tentacle, and don't be afraid...

>>41029914
Stow your bitching, Private. We're all faithful servants of the Emperor, well, and then there's Gibbers...but we have an Inquisitor and his no doubt skilled acolytes to help us. Yeah...

>>41029969
No, Gibbers, I'm not holding your tentacle, you tried to bite me last time. I value the use of my fingers, thank you very much.

>>41029914
Ooh, we get to see it?! It's pretty and colorful! And daemons have sharp teeth an' all. I wish I could chat with one... But they always try to kill me. Unlike that pretty genestealer... It tried to kiss me...

>>41030011
Ach, finally, a soldier in command of this rabble. Assemble your men into squads. Work your way to the bridge of this ship. No doubt the Astropath has moved us through some Daemon's pocket of Warp. We must secure him, lest we find ourselves stranded in the Warp!
>the inquisitor & his companions heft rather large weapons from their holsters & slings, the Techpriest holding a Guardsman Grenade launcher, and the Administarium holding a rather well maintained Plasma Pistol.
>The inquisitor himself simply brandishes his chainsword & laspistol.
FOR THE EMPEROR!
>the trio charges ahead.

is it me or is the thread slow this time?

Also, is it time for sister Theresia to come back?

>>41030094
how would she, the ship is in warp from what I understand

>>41030079
*Gulp* Yessir. Everyone squad up, stick together, and watch each other's six and we might just get through this in one piece. Ruh, keep an eye on Gibbers and make sure he doesn't wander off.

>>41030107
There's your answer right there, Warp schenanigans.

>>41030079
I'll follow the guy with a plan.
FOR THE EMPEROR.

>>41030094
yeah it's been a bit slow. I think it would appropriate for Theresia to show up here.

>>41030079
WHAT? Is the astropath in my quarters navigating the ship?

I just came out to see what the hell was going on!

brb, shower, someone take charge for a bit.

>>41030153
Navigator...? Don't you dare look into my soul!

>>41029202
AHA! ME, on another mission! DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL INQUISITOR!

This regiment attracts a foul maelstrom of sanctioned mutants and heretics! I HAVE BEEN CALLED HERE THROUGH THE WARP AND THE POWER OF THE EMPEROR!

Now, penal regiment, stop shivering. I see one of you even has a flame thrower. We are hunting, no, MARCHING against chaos! Our light, His Holy Light! Our faith in Him ever strong!

>>41030234
Here Sister, take this Promethium Lance.

>>41030217
At this moment, erm, it's your arm I'm looking at, guardsman. Holy shit, you are more mutated than my great-grandaunt Irina and that's saying something. Did you try to brofist the warp or something?

>>41030259
WHAT IS THIS TECH-HERESY? LEMMING! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!

or not? the shower curtain is missing...

>>41030294
>>41030079

INQUISITOR! STOP CHARGING INTO EMPTY CORRIDORS! What is your purpose here?

>>41030280
It's a really long stick with a promethium charge at the end, covered by a spike. You shove it through a Heretic's body, light the fuse, retreat a ways, and watch the fireworks.

>>41030264
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR QUARTERS, MUT... NAVIGATOR? ARE WE NOT IN THE WARP?

>>41030324
>the inquisitor & his companions start hauling butt back towards the guardsmen, the Administarium girl yelling
NOT EMPTY. MOST CERTAINLY NOT EMPTY!
>A horde of chaos spawn are falling over eachother chasing the inquisitor's party down the corridor

>>41030365
HAHAHA, guardsman! I LIKE IT!

This is pleasing to me. EXPLODING HERETICS, purged in fire and EXPLOSIONS. And I see that the Inquisitors' tech-priest is not rolling over the floor screaming and screeching, so it must not be that bad of a tech-heresy.

BUT WILL SOMEONE TELL ME what is going on here? Why was the Inquisitor charging?

>>41030264
I went into an airlock during warp travel... Geller field flickered and I was completely exposed.

>>41030372
I apologize sister! But there was much shouting and I came to look outside and...

>>41030393
AAAAAAAaaaaaah!

>>41030393
PENAL REGIMENT /TG/, BATTLE FORMATIONS!

>>41030414
Oh no... Battle sisters... Box, box, where is the box?

>>41030545
Do you have your quarters too?

>>41030545
Here.
>Puts a cardboard box over gibbers.

>>41030572
... No? Just the box?

>>41030545
>>41030583
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WAS HE NOT YOUR SECRET WEAPON THAT YOU LAUNCHED AT THE ENNEMY?

>>41030583
*Muffled* Thank you.

>>41030597
Hey, you can come to mine if you want. People always shun me because I'm a filthy mutant. I know how you feel.

>The more you bicker, the closer the horde gets, the unholy muttering and gurgling beginning to drown out even the Sister's voice.

>In the rear of the horde, something lumbers, knocking around regular spawns like bowling pins.

>>41030641
This is why I acquired a flame thrower. Gibbers forget the box we got bigger things here.
KILL THEM ALL. LEAVE NOTHING BUT ASH.

>>41030641
*wooshes flamethrower over closest chaos spawn*
FOR THE EMPEROR, PENAL REGIMENT /TG/! PUUURGGGEEEEE

>>41030633
BACK IN YOUR QUARTERS!!! WE ARE IN THE WARP, WE NEED YOU TO GET US OUT!

>>41030695
Emperor do I love the smell of promethium in the morning.

>>41030763
YES Guardsman! The perfume of FAITH!

...

Why were you in this regiment again?

*kicks the closest, semi-crispy chaos spawn all the way back into the horde, where is it promptly devoured by the others*

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>>41030797
headcannon Theressia

>>41030797
>Looks sheepishly at the ground while still burning chaos spawn.

Well a while back on the argi world I'm from I was a dock working. I was loading ships for the tithe and dropped a crate and it fell of the gangplank. Arbites decided that I'd be the replacement for what I lost, and I was thrown into this penal regiment along with rations for the next month.

Hm.....Nyan ?
>Starts to rise from the commisar;s lap
D-do you hear something commissar ?

>>41030889
*banging on door*
(panicked voice)
COMMISSAR! COMMISSAR!

>>41030871
*frowns then smiles at Peasant*
THAT ARBITES DID GOOD! It was your destiny to PURGE CHAOS!

TAKE THE LEFT FLANK! I shall take the right!

>>41030993
Starts moving in the opposite direction under the box*

>>41031056
*starts moving back as she sorta hides behind the box as well*

*Looks around taking in the situation*

So... what the fuck is going on? I just woke up.

>>41030966
>Grabs plasma pistol as she struggles to dress up
Ruh ! What in thrones name is going on ?!

>>41031278
THE INQUISITION! AND CHAOS SP - whatever. THOSE THINGS. In the corridors!
Both the Inquisition on board and sister Theresia! AND THEY WANT TO SEE HIM!
Are you sober? Dressed?

>>41031276
Chaos spawn everywhere. Get a gun and get shooting.
>>41030993
While I don't have the same enthusiasm thank you. I personally prefer explosives, but this being a voidship it's a bad idea to use that sort of ordinance.

>>41031455
*Grabs rifle and begins shooting at targets on the left flank*
Chaos spawn? What did I do to deserve this! All I did was shoot that one LT.

>>41031369
I am sobr, though with a huge headache, damn Amesec. Let me put my flak armor on and we are okay, but the comissar is still out cold from drinking. Where in the emperor's name did he hide my panties ?

>at some point the techpriest's robe is torn clean off, revealing his mostly mechanical body, and the guardsmen start to get why he's afraid of promethium: He's literally a walking talking promethium tank.
>The Administarium girl is surprisingly holding her own with the plasma pistol, but has nearly overheated the gun on multiple occasions since the fighting started.
>The inquisitor is preoccupied trying to figure out where the hell the Commissar is, however, and is only a few corridors away from Ruh & the Felinid...
I'm going to gut that spineless Commissar and SERVE HIM TO THERESSIA.

>>41031276
ASLEEP? WHILE THERE IS BATTLE TO DO?
I shall administer corporeal punishment after this battle! I must!

>>41031567
I tend to sleep with my full armour on.

Don't ask why.

GARBLGARBLAAFFSaSFEsreeeeeeeeeegarblgarbleSquaaaackkteteteteetteteteteGAAAAARAAAAAAAA

>>41031541
NIHAO, TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Wait, I have an idea! Let's carry him to the medbay! We can say he got hurt in battle or something and needs to stay in isolation.

>>41031645
You stop that.
*Shoots the obvious chaos spawn*

>>41031595
Dammit, Grail, do you WANT her to shoot you? I suggest you shut up and get on the firing line right now, we'll deal with this later.

>>41031645
>put name in options. oops
GARBAGASFKFDADSREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAGARGAGPAGSGDSAG

>>41031113
With good luck I wont be executed or given as a dies natalis whatnot present to someone... Please tell me where to go, its as dark as the tunnels of Mara...

>>41031595
AS SHOULD ALL!! READY FOR BATTLE EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY AND NIGHT.

FIRE! MOAR FIRE! RAIN THE WRATH OF THE EMPEROR ON THEM!
*purging intensifies*

And I shall rain my wrath on you as well later tonight, unless that damned commissar reappears!

>>41031653
OKAY! gimmie a sec !
>Spills a bottle of red amasec over him, trying to make him look as heavily wounded
>Unable to find her panties, Nihao gets out in suited up while dragging the commissar
Quick where's the medic ?!

>>41031690
I'm on it. Anyone need extra mags?

>>41031677
BLAAAAAAAAARG
>Chaos Spawn is kill

>>41031697
*grabs tentacle arm somewhere under box*
Oh!... Hihi, oh my, that's a mighty fine tentacle.
(blushes)
(whispers)
Anyhow, follow me, my quarters are this way. You can be my dies natalis present.

>>41031704
Oy, Sister. I just finished off the heretics on the other end of the ship with my promethium lances, would you like the spares?

>>41031712
>>41031653
>too late, the Inquisitor rounds the corner just as you begin to drag him out into the corridor
What in the NAME OF THE EMPEROR IS GOING ON HERE? AND WHY DOES IT REEK OF AMASEC?

>>41031704
>the Administarium girl says something under her breath that sounded almost heterical to Sister Theressia.
>something about her wrath & "anytime"

>>41031805
MAN DOWN !THE COMISSAR WAS SHOT BY A TRAITOROUS GUARDSMAN WE USED AMASEC TO CLEANSE THE WOUND!
Where's the godamn medic ?!

>>41031712
*sees Nihao get out of Gaurun's quarters, dragging an unconscious commissar*
Nihao... did you just spill his favourite amasec over him? I'd have punched him, you know, but then that's just me.

Wait, we're forgetting something.
>goes inside Gaurun's cabin
>comes back outside holding his cap, unwinding some pink fabric that has been put around it
>finally succeeds in tugging Nihao's panties from around the cap
Those yours I presume?

SHRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

>>41031805
>>41031860
>>41031894
*stuffs Nihao's panties in his pocket when he sees the inquisitor*
MEDIIIIIC! WE NEED A MEDIC HERE!

>>41031860
I think I see the medic's body. Chaos spawn got him.

>>41031894
>Blushes enormously, but tries to keep a straight face in front of the inquisitor

>>41031776
I... yes

>>41031805
*looks into the Administratium girl*
*blinks*
*smiles hungrily*
Ooooh, someone needs to confess, I see.

*suddenly turns to the scene with Rug, Nihaonyan and Gaurun*
WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR IS THIS?
>>41031860
>>41031920
IS HE HURT? QUICK - GET HIM TO THE MEDBAY! This is a deliberate attack against your commissar!! YOU HAVE TRAITORS ON BOARD!

Likely the shipboard medic has been turned-
>dispatches >>41031919 with a las pistol to the head
into a chaos spawn. Take him back to your regiment, Guardsmen, double time! Ill cover your retreat.
>you notice the Inquisitor has calmed down significantly now that he knows for sure he's in charge.
>he begins muttering a litany to the Emperor's Purity as he staves off the Spawns with a chainsword.

>>41031985
Here, take them, I'll just keep one. Anyone willing to go screaming into battle like that is okay in my books. I bet the Emperor would be proud.

And now, we CHAAAAAAAAAARGE!

FOR THE EMPEROR!

CHAOS SPAWN COMING OUT THE VENTS!
*Begins shooting chaos spawn that are climbing out the vents*

>>41031774
Oh dear... I-I think I need to, erm, arrange my, um, remaining rations from Mara...

>>41031986
At once!
>the moment it looks like the Inquisitor's attention is elsewhere, Ruh starts pushing Nihao with the unconscious Gaurun towards the medbay
>winces a bit as sister's Theresia's voice level hurts his eardrums

>>41031956
(whispering to Nihao once they're a bit away)
you'll get 'em back don'tworryiamnotinterestedtheslightest

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>>41030856
>headcannon

>>41032043
*her attention suddenly back on the chaos spawn*
WHAT DO YOU SAY, BRAVE LEMMING? LET US CHARGE TOGETHER!
*winks at Administratium girl*

FOR THE EMPEROOOOORRRR!
*throws herself and her prometium lance in the closest bunch of chaos spawn*

>>41032092
nonono, that's a face-mauser.

>>41032043
(Muttered) Well, he's living up to his name, at least...
Supressing fire on the right side! Make us a hole and support Lemming!

>>41032087
(a sad look comes over her face)
(she downs her eyes)

It's okay, I understand. It's heresy anyway.

(starts crying softly)

>>41032092
That's a facepistol, not a headcannon. A REAL Headcannon is what I've been cooking up in the workshop.

>>41032125
>drives into the heart of the chaos spawn forces

GLORY TO THE IMPERIUM! IN THE EMPERORS NAME! BURN IN HOLY FIRE!

GO FORTH, PROMETHIUM LANCE DRAGOON STRIKE!

>lights his promethium lance to pole vault over several spawn, and then slam the spear end downwards into the head of a larger spawn
>lets go and rolls away into the teeming mass of chaotic hellspawn
>lance explodes, taking a large chunk of chaos forces with it

>>41032160
>Sees the Navigator crying
What is it, did you stub your toe? Paper cut? Or is it...erm, Navigator stuff?

>>41032125
>administarium girl proceeds to melt into a pile of very aroused Administarium.

>the Inquisitor returns to the squad unharmed, but covered in giblets of Chaos Spawn. His grin is now set in a very leer-like twinge.
>The Techpriest at this point is playing the part of Techpriest-Flamethrower, and is burning the ever loving shit out of anything chaos that gets too close.

also sweet jesus this thread has become OTP central, NavXGibbers, AdminXSOB.

BLLLLAAAAAAAAABITGBARUuuuuruablarigblsreeeetheeeeyuuuuuehhhhhhh............
>chaos spawn are kill

>>41032160
*Walks away mumbling to himself* keep it cool, Hal. You lived through Mara. You can't be friendly to no psykers. No matter how nice they would be...

>>41032214
don't forget the commissar and quartermaster.

>>41032181
>lightens up her own promethium lance
>holds it slightly behind her, starts running towards the spawn
>flungs it forward like a javelot into a chaos spawn
>explosions sends bit of chaos spawn all over

THIS IS GLORY! THIS IS HIS MIGHTY WORK!
GIVE THAT MAN A TECH-LICENCE!

>>41032290
Fuck it if the sisters are using explosive on a voidship than so am I. I still got that missile launch and a couple dozen frag rounds for it. Time to get to work.

>>41032323
You got any mags I could borrow? I'm down to my pistol over here.

Peace be with you, my children. How have you all been serving the Holy God-Emperor today?

>After disappearing into the teeming mass of chaos spawn, he is still nowhere to be seen.

>>41032355
I've got a couple spares, here. (Tosses 2 spare mags)

>>41032243
>looks up as gibbers walks away
But I'm not even a psyker!

>>41032207
Now look here! I drag your sorry asses day in, day out in the warp! I'll live 300 years at least, and through horridly painful mutations, and you want to mock me about a stubbed toe?! I do things everyday that WOULD OUTRIGHT KILL all of you!
>stands up, screaming
AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!
I am shunned, stowed away! Just because I have black eyes and no hair and talons for nails!
I HAVE NEEDS TOO! And once every sixty years on Terra is just not covering it!
although...
although...
>cries again
although maybe now I just need a hug.

>>41032391
Killing Chaos Spawn, what else, Priest. Also, where in the Name of the Emperor have you been!?

>>41032397
Speaking of location, does anyone see Lemming?

>>41032089
O-okay, but fight first! We need to destory those spawn from the medbay !
>Draws her twin plasma pistols as she rushed to follow the rest of the regiment into fighting

>>41032401
*catches mags and re-loads rifle*
Cheers Sarge.
*continues purging*
>>41032423
For fuck sake, someone hug the Navigator before she summons a daemon or some shite.

>>41032391
KILLING CHAOS SPAWN!

WHERE IS THAT BRAVE GUARDSMAN LEMMING! Charging headfirst! With explosives! In the chaos spawn! GIVING HIS LIFE TO DESTROY THE FOES OF THE IMPERIUM!

>>41032427
I have the feeling of impending doom again. It's accurate enough to either be a blessing from the emperor or the darkest of curse.

>>41032423
>The techpriest hears this and shambles over, uneasy with the light weight of his normally full promethium tanks.
>He waddles over, and just pats her head, clicking softly.
>Then he offers his Laspistol to the Navigator, from one of the claw arms protruding from his back.
>the vox box speaks Common for what seems to be the first time.
"F-F-Fight, don-n-n-t cry."

>>41032423
I don't shun you because of what you are. I shun you so I won't need to kill you.

>>41032423
I, uhm, I wasn't trying to offend you, miss.
>awkward side-hug

>>41032427
Um, I've been busy with... Ecclesiarchy stuff.

>>41032484
Oh. Oh! For the Emperor, then!

>>41032486
So the back of your neck is itching too?

In other news, there's no more chaos spawn coming up corridor A51

>>41032423
H-huh ? Miss Elena, are you okay ?
>Distracted from glorious charge as she rushs through the corridors, she rushes up to her with a napkin from her pocket.
There there, you don't have to cry, i'm sure the regiment is very greateful for the sacrifices you do everyday for us, it's just that when half of them are insane and the other half gruntled veterans, they have a hard time to express their feeling, okay ?
>Since felinids had no astropaths, the girls in not scared at all at the navigator as she hugs her and scoops up her tears
Now do you need anything else before i go blow up some chaos spawn ?

File: 1424406525561.jpg (55 KB, 640x320)

55 KB JPG

ITT: Psyker Feels

>Did not updated
>Psyker sandwiched between a techpriest, a catgirl and a guardsman

>>41032592
L-lewd

>>41032471
>crying, balled up
I don't summon demons, those are psykers! I AM NO PSYKER.
>bawww

>>41032507
>wipes her tears
I don't fight with that very often, techpriest. But I'm pretty good at this. *points at her forehead*
But thanks.

>>41032511
>blushes
But why would you need to kill me? They always say... you know *blushes furiously* that you eat out people.

>>41032514
Oh. I'm sorry. Too sensitive again. Well.

*she stands up*
*takes the laspistol and starts shooting the chaos spawn*

>>41032592
What, by the Emperor's 18 sons, are you people doing to that poor navigator?

>>41032542
*finds herself hugged by the felinid*
WHa.... what are you? A mutant too?
Are you purring?

*stops shooting spawn and hugs Nihaonyan back*

>>41032637
Stay your hand, Priest. They are simply reminding the Navigator that we are all instruments of His Will. This is a lesson even I forget. Also that's the first goddamn thing Bitewave has said in High Gothic since he was assigned to me, I'm not about to let anyone reprimand him for that.

>>41032526
SHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKblarglblargleSHEEEEEEEVblargleSQAAAAAACKblargleSHREEEEEEEEEEK

>>41032542
>Gaurun draped over one shoulder
>commissar cap halfway on Gaurun's head
>fights his way through the chaos spawn between him and the medbay, cursing
This is why I don't like women.

>>41032637
She's just a bit...stressed right now, Preach, she'll be fine if we just give her a moment.

>>41032678
Quartermaster NYihaonyan , nice to meet you ! I always heard about the navigator of our ship but i never managed to talk to you, you have some pretty scared bodyguards!
To answer your question, i am what humans come an "abhuman". I'm a Felinid nyan~

*SHoots some spawn what try to get close to the pair with her plasma pistols*

Nice to see you are okay now!

>>41032592
>>41032629
>>41032637
>>41032678
WHAT IN HIS HOLY NAME IS THIS HERESY! WE HAVE CHAOS SPAWN TO KILL!

>>41032712
>Suddenly, from the back of the horde's ranks, an explosion occurs. Then another, and then another.

>>41032712
Oh just my luck *seals bulkhead doors and locks them*

That should hold 'em.
>>41032752
Leave some more for me! *runs over to provide support*

>>41032707
Fine. Who are you, anyhow? I thought, er, I was not informed of any Inquisitors being attached to this unit.

>>41032731
Bloody Navigators...

>>41032712
You will face the Emperor's Holy Might this day, Warp Beasts!

>>41032752
As much as I hate to agree with Sororitas, she's right. Forward!

>>41032629
You gaze to the warp. That is greater threat to me than any gun. And I eat people. Literally... Wait... What is this... I... Why I eat people? It calls to me... No... Hunger... What is wrong with me?! *Runs off*

>>41032751
EEEEK! *shoots spawn again*

>yelling at the top of her voice
I AM NOT A PSYKER! I'M A NAVIGATOR!

>>41032752
>The only response to the Sister from the Inquisitor's party is the Administarium girl shooting the three chaos spawn nearest the Sister with her Plasma Pistol
>The girl simply backs up to the Sister, facing back to back with her.

>>41032775
I am Inquisitor Vilhelm, of the Ordo Hetericus. I 've been tasked with inspecting ships coming in and out of this area, and I happen to share quite the history with regement, as many here have been assigned to this penal regiment by my reports and inspections.

>>41032766
For now, at least, the bastards always find a crack to slip through.
>Takes a swig of amasec, then offers the flask to Grail
Keep your guard up, we aren't out of this just yet.

Since when are trollplay threads allowed again?

>>41032716
>>41032712

>discards his empty lasgun
>starts hacking at the chaos spawn with his chainsword
>gaurun still draped over his shoulder
A BIT OF HELP HERE!

>>41032845
If you don't like it, filter it and move on.

>>41032834
Ordo Hereticus!?! But I- Er, nevermind. We need to talk after these Heretical Creatures are Purged.
>Resumes blasting Chaos Spawn with melta

>>41032837
>Takes the flask and takes a swig
Thanks sarge, you think-
>>41032863
OH SHIT, ENEMY FLANKERS. COVERING FIRE FOR THE COMMISSAR! *begins shooting chaos spawn near Ruh and Gaurun.

>>41032863
>Twin plasma bolts melt the heads of two chaos spawn ready to slash Ruh to shreds
Sorry Elena i have to go save Ruh and my boy- i mean the comissar!
>Rushes to Ruh while firing at any chaos spawn that moves

>>41032834
Thank you, guardswoman. But this is a dangerous postion, careful with the flamethrower.
*continues shooting chaosspawn*
(whispers)
Nice perfume. Terra nr. 5, am I correct?

>>41032904
Supressing fire, don't let up! If anyone has grenades left, now's a good time to use 'em!
>Pulls 3 grenades from his belt and chucks them into the horde

>>41032904
>>41032910
>still hacking at the chaos spawn
>still carrying Gaurun
God-Emperor, thank you!

>slowly, they manage to clear the way and get closer and closer to recovering the medbay.

*whooshes flamethrower in the chaos spawn*
TECHPRIEST! CAN YOU SPRAY PROMETHIUM OVER THEM? I WILL LIGHT IT UP WITH MY FLAMETHROWER!

>>41032976
>kicks in the homemade sprinkler system he filled with promethium over the horde of spawn

DID SOMEONE CALL FOR PROMETHIUM?

I BELIEVE SOMEONE DID!

>Empties melta, starts hacking through the swarm with a power sword
Emperor's teeth, where did they all come from?
>Draws hellpistol and keeps shooting the advancing horde.

>>41032910
Her boy...? WHUT?
*mouth open, incredulous*
And when I do it, it's heresy?

>>41032950
Oh, wait.
>closes her eyes and concentrates
>vanishes and reappears next to Ruh in the blink of an eye pun intended
>starts shooting chaos spawn next to them

>>41032993
BURN IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR! BUUUUURRRRNN!
*whooshes flamethrower right in the promethium*
*gigantic ball of fire in the corridor*
MUHAHAHAHA LEMMING YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!

>>41033011
>navigator suddenly appears
WHAT THE GIGANTIC FUCK!

blaaaaaaaarggggg..........
>all the spawn are kill
>says the writing on a sign growing from the body of the last spawn to die

>Gets clipped by a shot from a traitor guardsman
Gah, son of a bitch!
>Snarls and resumes firing in to the horde, shouting curses all the while

>>41032976
The techpriest clicks with glee, as he dumps the rest of his promethium tanks onto the oncoming horde, now having an impossible time keeping balance due to his empty tanks. The twin laspistols on his extra limbs fire wildly into the crowd of oncoming chaos spawn.

>>41032913
The Guardswoman seems to skip a heartbeat before letting loose a barrage of plasma into the oncoming spawns. Her cheeks however are flushed, beneath the wire rimmed glasses.

>>41032897
Aye, there's more to this ship than I believed at first glance. Hold the line men! We'll get through this with His Blessing!

fun fact, this is set of inquisition characters I'm running is actually from a DH campaign I was a part of. wobbly techpriest n all.

>>41033042
>Walks in with most his torso covered in burns.
Sorry I've been missing. got buried under a big mess of the beasts.

real life stuff has been tying me up a bit

>>41033164
Also do not use promethium lance in extremely close proximity to the target.

>>41033160
>cackles as more promethium is sprayed on the horde
>prepares flamethrower
>casts a look at the guardswoman and has a mischievious smile when she sees just how beetred she is
>sister herself seems all gleeful, and not just with the heat of battle

FIRE IN THE HALL!

>>41033164
OUT OF THE WAY PEASANT! DUCK!
*ball of fire*

>>41033072
*while shooting spawn*
I'm just a navigator! I can do that, it's okay! I AM NOT A PSYKER!

>>41032783
Disappears into a vent*

>>41033300
WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN, SHOULDN'T YOU BE, I DON'T KNOW, DRIVING THE SHIP?
Damned Navigators...

>>41033300
clickclickclickscreeeclickclickclick......
>undead chaos spawn re-kill

>>41033334
YOU GET BACK HERE COWARD!
*drops empty rifle before pulling out pistol and combat knife*
This is worse than Diadon 6.

>slashing through the few remaining chaos spawn
>>41033300
What, are you even human?

>>41033334
GIBBERS! Can someone keep an eye on him, I'm kind of busy with the commissar!

>>41033356
Are you suggesting that we try and make a warp jump while we have a large chaos presence aboard? That sounds like a great way to get eaten by daemons!

>>41033356
I came out to see what that noise was and then the spawn cut off the way to my quarters! It's not my fault!

>>41033359
sorry, didn't get they were all dead and gone

>>41033380
Well, no. I'm what they call a homo navigo, not homo sapiens, so not exactly human.

>>41033394
No, I'm suggesting we'd be SITTING GROX if she died! Does she even have any combat experience?
>Mutters the Litany of Cleansing as he loads more ammo into his melta.

>>41032889
Stop being such a shit-for-brains. Threads like this used to lead to summary bans, and they still should. By posting in such a thread at all, you were guilty of violating general rule #6. They ARE objective shit threads.

>>41033435
Oh ! I'm Homo Felidae Nyan~. Nice to see another abhuman!
>Tries to wake the commissar up while she and ruh get him to Medbay.

*Noticing that the chaos spawn have stopped coming from most areas or are coming in tiny numbers*
Radio check, anyone still alive?

>>41033447
Fuck, he's right. Get behind me, navigator, I can't look out for you and the commissar.
>reshifts gaurun on his shoulder

>>41033435
(whispers)
Also I like that. The not being human thing.
*winks at her*

>>41033510
Guardsman Ruh reporting in, commissar Gaurun... erm, hurt, but breathing.

>>41033510
Suffering from 2nd degree burns but alive.

>>41033501
You know what is horrid? We just call this field kit inspection QUEST and they''ll leave us alone.

>>41033435
>Starts hyperventilating
The Emperor Protects...
The Emperor Protects...
The Emperor Protects...
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!

>>41033505
Wonderful, the mutants are consorting...

*Starts humming in the vent with occasional "tick tock" between the "lines"

>>41033510
Inquisition Reporting in, Holding the line at muster point. Chaos Spawn seem to be thinning out. All guardsmen, regroup on myself and the Sister ASAP.

>>41027807
Bone'Ead Cauters reportin' fer duty sir, on loan frum tha Orcan Stonecrushers Ogryn regerment!
>The Ogryn Salutes by waving a ripper gun around in the air and grinning

>>41033581
It's still a trollplay thread in the Grandpa Dreadnought tradition, which was fun for exactly one thread. In the end, it's a tripfag circlejerk, nothing more.

>>41033524
*gets behind him, walking to the medbay*
(in his ear)
Really? You don't think I'm disgusting?

>>41033505
I didn't know you existed! And you're so cute! Do you purr often?

>>41033591
*looks at him intensely*
What is your problem?

>>41033617
Roger heading to your position.

>>41033657
He's a priest, they are taught to hate mutants of every kind.

>>41033657
*Turns up chin derisively*
Ecclesiarchy stuff, mostly.
Also, I grew up on Terra, the Navis Nobilite are dicks.

>>41033657
>Blushes softly
O-oonly when i am excited or -comfy or h-h-appy!
>Purrs softly , her ears twitching a bit.

>>41033591
>returns, scorched and covered in gore, holding a promethium lance

With all due disrespect sir, these people are my friends and comrades. Bad mouth a single one of them, and I'll use my catapult to launch you all the way back to Terra in an exploding coffin.

Got that?

>>41033505
>>41033657
>>41033754
now the thread truly is getting cancerous

>>41033800
Those guys have arrived.

>>41033505
>finally reaching the medbay
>putting Gaurun on one of the beds at last
Nihaonyan, you stay with him? Or do you come with us to regroup around the inquisitor and finish off the rest.

>>41033657
(whispering) No really, I swear, humans do nothing for me. I'm just kind of confused because you look so much like one, a bit like cpt Notaneldar. But if you say you aren't, we're good.

You doing anything later tonight?

>>41033617
Disregard previous message. About to pass out from my wounds. Send a medic my way if you can.
>The sound of the vox being dropped and Peasant hitting the floor is transmitted.

Sorry I got to head out. Someone make sure I'm not eaten while I'm gone.

>>41033794
Oh, for the Love of Terra, these are ABHUMANS, guardsman. They must be regarded with a healthy amount of disgust.
Furthermore, know your place, guardsman, before I write you up.

>>41033854
Of course! He will be very confused once he wakes up , he needs someone to explain what has transpired. Plus it would be horrible if a stray spawn killed him while everyone was busy.

>>41033727
Well you're not wrong on the navis nobilite being dicks in general.

>>41033854
*blushes* R...really? You like my eyes?

For tonight, it depends on the warp jump and the spawn, but... I have some nice rahzvod, if you want to try it out, and all is well. It's a vostroyan regiment here, after all. Normally.

>>41033906
Go ahead, do it. Write me up. I'm sure that'll stop me impaling you with this lance.

And I'll do it.
Because I'm just. That. Crazy.

>>41033906
>>41033976
Gentelmen please, you can kill each other later.

>>41033617

LESS TALKING MORE REGROUPING!
WE HAVE TO FINISH OFF THE LAST ONE OF THEM HERE!

>>41033976
Guardsman, while we are all instruments of his Will, Purity is the Litany of the Priest of His Order. I will only say this once Guardsman, know your place. I have allowed you many a leniency in the past with your technology simply because our Techpriest finds it amusing. Do not test my patience by threating a man of the cloth.

File: alpha_disguise.jpg (28 KB, 240x394)

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>>41033356
>>41033394
I believe we *should* make the jump.

>>41033976
LEMMINGS! IMPALE THE LAST OF THE CHAOS SPAWN RATHER!

The priest is not wrong! Abhumans are TOLERATED by the imperium, and they should know their place.
Which means...
>>41033972
BACK TO YOUR QUARTERS AND STAY THERE!

>>41033906
*Giggles in a creepy fashion* oh, the worshippers... Always finding hatred. Chaos, imperium, Xenos... We are all the same, can't you see? We shall all be soon returned!

>>41034043
Your idea is bad and you should feel bad for bringing it up.

>>41034091
...I think he's lost it...

>>41033972
Navigator, you are aware that according to the Treaty of the Paternova that relations outside of your House is heresy?
Still, any navigator who hates the Navis Nobilite isn't all bad.

>>41033976
Watch yourself. I have no quarrel with you.

>>41034091
Oh good. More mutants.

>>41034040
*Comes out of the nearest toilet and looks at the inquisitior, then at the chaos spawn, then back at the inquisitior*
What the zog is going on here-
*Loots the inquisitior s hat and compares it to my own then replaces the hats back to their respective heads*
-Boss?

>>41034092
you would disregard the advice of an agent of the Inquisition so quickly?

>>41034138
*looks at the floor ashamed*
Oh so you heard that.

Anyhow, on them being dicks... can you start to imagine how disagreeable it is to be married off to some other navigator you have never met, and expected to make children right off the bat? And then on top of it I'm not even allowed to have some fun before.

>>41034045
Yeah, yeah, I heard it.
*shuffles away*

>>41034043
ARE YOU RETARDED? DO YOU EVEN WARP?

>>41034336
>hands her over a piece of paper
(whispers)
it's my private vox channel

>>41034091
GIBBERS! Did you forget to put water in your ears this morning? Get out of there and come here! If you're good I'll put rations of grox meat in your box!

>>41033637
Oh luk a propa sized boy fer once!
Oooooooohhhhh what IZ dat shoots you've got da?

>>41034317
The chaos spawn have ebbed for now. Something is producing these, scout ahead, see how close you can get to the bridge, we need to get this Navigator at the helm.

>>41034138
Crawls out of the vent* Is my presence disgusting to you, priest?

>>41034327
Yes, because an agent of the Inquisition knows that entering the warp with a large chaos infestation is a great way to get yourself killed.

>>41034490
GIBBERS! Come here!
>grabs him
>shoves a ration in his mouth
>starts pouring waters in his ears

>>41034518
and how would YOU know this sort of information? matters of chaos and the warp are confidential knowledge generally withheld from lowly guardsmen.

>>41034546
*Food in mouth* Fank hyu. Fe huzzin' 'as 'effin' louf.

>>41034437
Roight Boss
*Picks up the Navigator bodily and rips her ropes with my Broodlord talon however because I am (DEFINITELY NOT) an Ork (AND WILL KRUMP ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE) and therefore don't have a sex drive beyond scratching my arse to release some spores I don't notice*
>>41034490
Wriggles you're with me

>>41034437
Esteemed inquisitor, I need to get to my quarters, even though they are not far from the helm, I can't do anything at the helm itself. Except kill everyone, but that's not useful.

>>41034391
*clutches bit of paper and puts it in the pocket of her navigator robes*
(whispering back)
I'll vox you tonight.

>>41034518
Killed. Soul eaten by demons. Tortured and raped for thousands of years. Yeah, sure, let's jump right into the warp.

>>41034640
You learn a lot of thing when your previous regiment was lodged next to alcoholic Sisters Of Battle.

They would get drunk and tell us tales of the shit they had done. And from there it's easy to get info.

>>41034658
*panicked screams*
LET ME GO! LET ME GO!

>>41034658
Er... Anyone know which way ta relocate myself?

>>41034546
*finishes eating* okay, sarge!

>>41034695
sisters of battle are not generally privy to this kind of information either

>>41034695
LIES AND CORRUPTION! SORORITAS DO NOT HAVE DRINKING PROBLEMS!
Unlike your commissar!

>>41034741
Not "generally" but there were a few special cases there, and they drank A LOT.

>>41034719
Dearest, most esteemed apologies m'lady but you need to get to a bridge (not dat deres any rivers on this ship but whatever)

>>41034727
*still screaming*
*starts punching KommandoInDisguise*
SOMEONE HELP ME! I'M BEING ABDUCTED BY AN OGRYN!

>>41034665
Ooh, Daemons have nice teeth! I wish I could chat with one without it trying to gut me... They don't seem to like me for some reason.

>>41034755
Our commissar also does not hit on allied forces in the line of duty.
Not that i mind, you and the administratum girl will probably make a cute couple ~

>>41034755
Speaking from experience, Sororitas DO have a drinking problem.
Amongst other problems.

>>41034755
I have seen otherwise.

>>41034800
Relax, mutant. Sergeant KommandoInDisguise is a noble, valuable, and trustworthy member of the team. He will ensure your safety, I'm sure.

>>41034800
*At best, doesn't notice*

>>41034817
Wot is it wiv you and teef I mean dey are valuable n'all but daemon teef disappear and are eiver too sharp to handle zoggin burn ya rotten or inject ya with nasty squig beer

>>41034847
They at least recover from some! I haven't been requisitioned to be "relocated for educational purposes" by them for a while!

>>41034836
>her eyes narrow as she looks at Nihaonyan
Listen here, I could frame you and the commissar for heresy. I should actually. So NOT ANOTHER WORD.

>>41034847
Father, and you have a problem with sororitas.

>>41034913
They remind me of my buddies on Mara! The joy of the hunt... Well, most of them were executed or killed in self defence.

>>41034404
Das a Rippar gun! You'z can shoot wit it, an you can smash an cut wit it! I even got a chainy bit fer cutting!
>The Ogryn Grins, demonstrating the ripper gun.

>>41034910
*crying*
He tore up my tunic! Everyone can see my... eeep.

Also, why do you keep adressing me as "mutant"! I have a name!

>>41034913
*gives him a kick for good measure*
PUT ME DOWN!

>>41034960
*Starts shaking and muttering, reliving past experiences with Sororitas*

>>41034925
If you miss it, Gibbers, that can be arranged.

>>41035040
Oh! Well. Sarge, I think I should carry her. You are much better combatant and I am unarmed.

>>41034719
>>41034913
>>41035040
>looks actually quite furious
Put her down, Kommando.

>>41035097
Gibbers, you had your shot at her, now back off.

>>41035030
Gud Mor- Emperor that is a cool piece of flash

>>41035040
Orders are orders m'lady I have no idea wot an 'eep' is and I gotta get ya ta that bridge so can you tell me where it is?

>>41035097
Interesting idea Wriggles but her's 'eavyer than she looks

>>41035040
*blinks, snapping out of it*
Sorry, you never introduced yourself, mutant.

>>41035115
Guardsman, you are addressing a Sergeant! I will have to speak with the Commissar about your appropriate punishment.

Kommando! Put the poor Mutant down and ESCORT her, not carry her! The rest of you, we need to figure out where these spawn are coming from. Break up into teams, Search the engine room, the Mess, and the Medical Bay. Ill accompany Kommando to the bridge.

>>41035149
Okay, sarge! You know best!
>>41035115
What shot at what? I just want to have her in a spot where she can do her job without being threat to me. She might be kind but I ain't risking it.

>>41035149
Oooh you stupid whatever you are, those things! Boobies, mammaries, whatever you call them!
Now look at the damage you've done to my clothes! It costed more than one year of your rations!

AND I AM NOT HEAVY!
.

>>41035189
>>41035265
MY NAME IS NOT MUTANT IT IS ELENA!

>>41035189
The commissar is being tended to by the medicae at this point, and nobody can talk to him.

>>41035149
>>41035265

*between his teeth*
Put her down, you heard the Inquisitor.

>>41035278
>the techpriest offers what remains of his robe, which ends up being not much more than a wrapping.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4103526
Sorry *Deposits Elena on the ground*

>>41035278
??????

Roight since erryone refuses to tell me the way to the bridge I guess I'll go find maself. Follow me!

50+ I go towards the bridge
49- Fukken danger!

>>41035265
Yes sir, I'll check the armoury.

>>41035359
>10
SHIT!!

>>41035307
Okay, sorry Mutant Elena.

>>41035352
Fine, I'll order it myself! 30 lashes at soonest convenience.

>>41035359
That's what I like to see! Lead the way KomandoInDisguise!

>>41035356
>wears it as some sort of scarf, hiding most of herself under it
Won't you be cold?

>>41035359
Finally.

Hey, calm down. We need to go towards the helm, in that direction, but my quarters are a few levels under it. In any case, we can't jumpe before we've gotten rid of the spawn.

>>41035352
*looks at Ruh*
Thank you.

>>41035455
He was just trying to help me, father.

I return! I bring platoon of fine Vostroyan Infantry! OPEN FIRE MEN! URAAAAAAAAA!

>>41035480
Insubordination is insubordination, Mutant Elena.

>standing rather close to the Administratium girl
ALRIGHT PENAL REGIMENT /TG/! Nobody died for the Emperor today, but IT IS NOT A COMPLETE FAILURE!
WE HAVE BEATEN CHAOS SPAWN!
LEMMINGS HAS DEVISED A WEAPON THE LIKES OF WHICH THE IMPERIUM HAS NEVER SEEN!

I SAY, PATROLL ALL CORRIDORS A LAST TIME, AND THEN ONWARDS!

>>41035455
30 LASHES FOR SOMEONE WHO CARRIED HIS COMMISSAR TO THE MEDBAY AND SPOKE OUT OF TURN!

...

WAYYYY TOO SOFT! MAKE IT 50!

autosaging, people, and sister palatine player is getting tired and away from the computer. Have fun y'all

>>41035359
Yes, sarge! *finds a ration bar from pocket and starts to gobble it up while following*

>>41035524
Good to see you Comrade Alexandr!

Oh Zog...
>Through the door I marched through is a great slavering chaos spawn it is temporarily distracted by some fine Vostroyen fire allowing me to escape to the Russian-themed platoon

>>41035623
50? 50? *groans*
I hope Gaurun comes by before they actually start.

>>41035718
I'm so sorry you're getting punished over me. I... I... I have top quality synskin bandages, better than the medicae has. I'll take care of you, well, after.
(looks at the floor again)

>>41035810
Sorry to interrupt, but... For now, you should focus on staying alive and moving. And remember: Don't look at my soul.

>>41035920
Look into ya sole?

So she's a weird... girl?

>>41035920
Is it really that bad? Your soul I mean?

Anyhow, alright, I'll go with the Inquisitor and that sergeant Kommando or something towards my quarters.
Ruh, you're coming with us?

I think I'll check off too here, page 8 already

>>41035718
>>41035810
Oh no you two don't! I'm shutting this down before it starts. Guardsman Ruh, you are forbidden from seeing the mutant.
And Mutant Elena, you are just lucky that I don't contact the Navis Noblilte.
Honestly I'm not contacting them because we hate eachother, but that is beside the point.

>>41035974
Weird and weird. Navigator, sees into warp, has supernatural abilities and so on.

>>41035992
too many complaints about its color. And I'm tired of bashing heads that know too much.

>>41036034
So can we leave dis swirly realm of quasi-nofing?
[Spoiler]and end the thread because it's getting on a bit[/spoiler]