>>40871545
So are we getting an embarrassing nickname like Goblin, an ironic nickname like Mercy, or an accurate nickname like Pickles?
Fuck it, can we just be Pickles?

You have my interest, OP.

>>40871545
>BlackCompany666
I am cringing so hard right now, OP.
So. Hard.

But I have a dark fantasy boner, so continue.

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EVIL OVERLORD
There is no lack of evil in the land, at the corners of the known world dark powers gather their strength and ready their armies. Your new employer is by no means on friendly terms with those you do not choose to sign a contract with, and it is not unfeasible that you will one day have to face them in battle if or when the Free Alliance finally crumbles.

>The Warlord
Realm: The Kalgarri Dominion
Host: Mortal/Barbarian
Ruthless, tenacious and gifted with a sound tactical mind, your employer is a leader of men, sacker of cities and despoiler of nations. They command the combined might of their own barbaric host, hired mercenaries and the vassal armies of those that chose servitude over destruction.
Though a master in all matters military, they struggle with infighting and divided loyalties in their own camp.

>The Necromancer
Realm: The Deadlands
Host: Undead/Daemonic
Heartless, wise and powerful in the most forbidden of Dark Magiks, your employer is a vile practitioner of the worst sorceries, as cold as the undead host at their command. Their legion of shambling corpses, skeletal minions, vampiric elite and other foul creatures of the night grows with every kill they make.
Though their control over their undead minions is total, the Necromancer still sees the value in employing a flesh-and-blood unit that understands how to wage a war. As a bonus the dead, walking or otherwise, have little use for the spoils of war.

(Word limit reached, one more potential employer incoming)

>>40871963
>The Wild King
Realm: The Forbidden Forest
Host: Fey/Magical Beast
Inhuman, compelling and formidable beyond any human reckoning, your employer is one of the reclusive Fey, the closest thing to a God on Earth in the land.
They command the obedience of all the strange and terrible creatures of the Wild, from the unruly beastmen, dryads and werefolk to the majestic Treemen, Wyverns and Great Eagles.
Beautiful and terrifying to behold, discipline and strategy are foreign concepts to these creatures, perhaps the reason the Black Company was hired in the first place. That said, their feasts and victory celebrations are second to none.

>>40871631
You will have an actual name, but your nickname (and whether you allow your subordinates to call you by it) is entirely up to you.

>>40871680
Hey there mate, BlackCompany69 was apparently already taken.

>>40871963
>>40872018
Necromancer.
Even in death our fallen comrades will continue to serve.

>>40871545
>The Necromancer
All that loot and using the undead as fodder for our troops.

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Votes will be counted on first to three, majority and then roll-off in that order.

This is a roll-under system d100, again best of three, but I will ask for a course of action to be voted on before rolls are made.

Now choose your Dark Master/Lord/Boss.

>>40872018
>The Wild King
Wyvern rider when??!
And DAMM, CAPTCHA, THAT'S NOT A SOUP!!

>>40872050
>>40872077
I will just advise you that any of your fallen comrades would be 100% loyal to the Necromancer and not sentient (Vampires are a different bag of bones though).

>>40872018
>The Wild King
Just cause I want a cool mount.

>>40871963
Kinda torn between Warlord and Necromancer.
Guess I'll go Necro though since it's already in the lead.

>>40872018
>The Wild King

>>40871963
The Warlord. A necromancer isn't going to pay us properly since 'oh the weakness and frailty of mortal flesh blah blah blah' and that goes double for the fae. No way. Better the predictable and stupid barbarians.

>>40872132
Those who died were too weak for our company anyway. Why would we want them to fight for us again?

>>40872018
Wild King

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Necromancer has it unless these two votes want to change it since they won't be in control of any members of Black Company that die.

>>40872077
>>40872050

>>40872183
The Warlord would have trouble with morale and all the differing factions. High chances of being betrayed or left behind.

>>40872018
>Actual name
>In the Black Company
What? The whole point of the nickname is the Company doesn't know our real name so there's no outside world baggage if someone comes knocking. That's the point for everyone. You don't want the Company to know, and the Company doesn't want to know. Fuck everything before the Company.

>Choosing to let our subordinates use the nickname.
Are we Captain?

>>40871963
>The Necromancer
>mfw We become a death knight with self control

>>40872018
The Wild King

>>40872241
I made that vote knowing that our undead friends would not be loyal to us.
I'm just happy they can continue to serve as fodder for those that remain.

>>40872018
Wild king

Wild King getting samefagged hard

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>>40872241
Here's some art GM if interested.
>nickname
Codica

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>>40872250
Just because you put a name down in the archive doesn't mean that was your real name. Some members of the Company just put an X or scribble. All that name means is what is called out when it's your turn to collect your pay.

>Rank
Corporal, in charge of your own squad of 8.

>>40872050
>>40872077
>>40872148
>>40872264
Necromancer: 4

>>40872296
>>40872267
>>40872227
>>40872178
>>40872143
>>40872110
Wild King: 6 (or 5 if suspected samefag)

>>40872183
No love for Warlord.

Necromancer did hit the 3 required votes first, but for a major decision like this I am considering going with the majority.

So majority or roll-off between Necromancer and Wild-King?
Keep in mind that neither is exactly friendly to mortal life.

>though the Wild are cute up until they start eating you

>>40872446
Roll-off. Let the gods decide.

>>40872446
Roll, I'm fine with either choice anyways.

>>40872446
Fine with either way.

Do as you wish

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Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>40872446

1 = Necromancer
2 = Wild King

>>40872446
Have you read far enough that they recruited Raven? I mean I'm all for generic mercenary army in Dark Fantasy, but when you slap Black Company on there you need at least the basic understanding of the brand.

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>>40872630
What is Dead may never Die.

>>40872193
Because they're your Company Brothers? Hell, nobody liked Raven, and they still stuck by him. The Company takes care of its own, even if it means screwing their employee.

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>>40872690

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>>40872690
>>40872630
>>40872446
Your new employer is The Necromancer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Your muscles ache, your throat is hoarse and you don't think you could so much as crawl 5 more paces without throwing up. You wouldn't feel so miserable if it was the result of a night of raucous drinking and merry-making with your fellows, but it isn't.
A forced march over 3 days, covering a distance that would take most units 5. And half-rations on top of that? The words cruel and inhumane spring to mind, though considering who you're working for now...

At least you have the day off to recover, you think. The Sergeant implied it anyway...sort of.

>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.
>Gods no please, just 5 more minutes of sweet, sweet oblivion.


>>40872678
I have re-read the first 3 books relatively recently so yes. I'd like to clarify that I am inspired by the Black Company books but this quest is certainly not in the same setting as them.
I apologise if it came across that it was going to be faithful to the original work, I simply don't think I could pull that off.

>>40872829
>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.
Money don't grow on trees.

>>40872829
>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.

>>40872829
>>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.
money don't grow on trees, got mouths to feed.

>>40872829
>I have to keep up with the tireless undead
I did not consider this when I voted for Necromancer.
Hope we can get some salve for these blisters.
Or an undead mount

>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.

>>40872829
>You know what they say, ain't no rest for the wicked.

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>>40872829
You decide not to risk it; though your body aches, the little extra sleep would not be worth the consequences for shirking the duties you may or may not have today. With a groan you rise from your cot, better than sleeping on the floor you suppose, and start getting dressed. It's been a long time since you've had to look for Kaipa Snakes first thing in the morning but you check your boots anyway, old habits die hard.

It seems Corporal Harty hasn't woken yet, but you leave him be. He was your Lance-Corporal for 2 years before his recent promotion and you know how grouchy he can be when woken up.

Fully dressed, there's only two things left to do before facing the new day. Cleaning and inspecting your weapons and your sacred morning ritual.

Primary Weapon: This denotes your office and Corp
>The Cavalry Saber of the Lancer
(Squad Selection: 1 LCPL, 1 Blackguard, 1 Scout, 4 Troopers. All Troopers upgraded to Lancers)
>The Halberd and Shortsword of the Infantry
(1 LCPL, 1 Blackguard, 1 Scout, 4 Troopers. All Armour Upgraded from Brigandine to Breastplate)
>The Bow and Shortsword of the Rangers
(1 LCPL, 2 Scouts, 4 Troopers. All Troopers upgraded to Rangers)
>The Two-Handed Blade of the Kriegstrom Shock-troops
(1 LCPL Knight-of-the-Line, 2 Blackguards, 4 Troopers. All Troopers upgraded to Knights-Aspirant)
>Just the Shortsword for now, the Sergeant promised you your choice of Corp after you selected your squad.

>>40873136
>The Two-Handed Blade of the Kriegstrom Shock-troops
I want to get messy.

>>40873136
>The Two-Handed Blade of the Kriegstrom Shock-troops

>>40873136
>>The Bow and Shortsword of the Rangers
So the aint no rest for the wicked reminded any one of cage the elephant?

>>40873136
>>The Bow and Shortsword of the Rangers

>>40873136
>The Halberd and Shortsword of the Infantry

>>40873136
>The Two-Handed Blade of the Kriegstrom Shock-troops

>>40873241
Yes, but pointing it out is kind of like saying "pun intended."

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>>40873287
>>40873191
>>40873171
The Two-Handed Blade of the Kriegstrom Shock-Troops

Looks like things are getting messy. Not sure how rip-n-tear things are going to get but it's off to a good start.

>Armour upgraded from Brigandine to Full Plate
>You have gained the rank of Knight-Vanguard in addition to Corporal. You may now issue orders to any Blackguard of a lower rank than you.

>>40873136
In addition to the issue weapons you have a personal item you picked up from your time in the Company.

>Pistol
A flintlock pistol from that campaign in the distant Ajiyimad Caliphate. Unlike the majority of these newfangled black-powder weapons, this contraption has never given any indication of being temperamental enough to blow up in your face.

>Throwing Daggers
A bandolier of throwing daggers that you pried off a White Hand Assassin. She certainly wasn't going to be needing it anymore. Being White Hand make, they're a collection of the sharpest and wickedest looking blades you've ever seen.

>Wrist-Crossbow
A wrist-operated repeating crossbow. It can fire 3 bolts in quick succession before it needs to be reloaded. Damn fine workmanship, probably the last of its kind after the Company burnt down that dwarven workshop in Albani.

>Silver Dagger
A silver dagger that you won off a Sabari Pirate in a game of chance. According to him the Skald runes on the blade glow blue in the presence of the unnatural.

>>40873444
>>Silver Dagger

>>40873444
>Wrist-Crossbow
Surprise bolt!

Wouldn't the dagger keep glowing near our undead friends?

>>40873444
>Pistol
For that save

>>40873444
>pistol

>>40873444
>Wrist-Crossbow
With the greatsword, we Guts now.

>>40873444
>wrist crossbow

>>40873444
>Pistol
Good shock value weapon.

>>40873444
Backig crossbow

>>40873444
>Pistol

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>>40873507
>>40873516
>>40873560
>Pistol

Sure it's not considered honourable to shoot your opponent in the face, especially when this kind of weaponry is considered semi-magical, but a win is a win. It's not like the guy with a hole in his chestplate or helmet can complain to the Blackguard Duelling Authority or anything.

That and the look on the average creatures face when the small stick the man-thing is holding EXPLODES in their face.

>>40873444
Finally, and most importantly, there is your morning ritual. It's the one thing you consider absolutely essential to finding the willpower to not stab the next bumbling Trooper or over-inquisitive junior officer in the face throughout the day. It doesn't matter whether it's Fire, Brimstome or Raging NCOs, it can wait until after you've...

>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea

>Finished dabbing your face in ritual warpaint and prayed to your patron God

>Completed your stretch down and short workout

>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation

>>40873689
>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation
Berserker guru

>>40873689
>>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation

>>40873689
>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation

>>40873689
>Finished dabbing your face in ritual warpaint and prayed to your patron God

>>40873689
>>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea

Officer and a Gentleman, of course.

>>40873729
>>40873730
>>40873734
...That was quick. I'm not looking at the same guy here am I?

>>40873689
>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation

>>40873689
>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea
I Find it humorous for a berseker-ish murder machine to have a subdued, cultural side.

>>40873689
>Finished dabbing your face in ritual warpaint and prayed to your patron God

>>40873689
>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea

>>40873768
Two simultaneous, one trailing by eight seconds.
Looks legit to me.

You have a hygienic crowd, OP.

>>40873689
>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea

>>40873689
>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea
Add meditating to this

>>40873768
Looking at the number of posters that is unlikely, sometimes people are just quick on the gun. Sadly it looks like tea isn't winning. Oh well, none of them were bad choices.

>other
Mix the two. Shave and a cup of tea

>>40873811
Being a soldier means hygiene is critical. Most beards are as dirty as your average toilet, assuming you don't wash it. Gotta keep clean. Especially if you're marching with zombies.

>>40873829
Never mind, tea is making a comeback. Time to be a classy bloodstained motherfucker.

>>40873689
>Had your morning smoke with a nice hot cuppa of Darkwood Tea

>>40873689
>>Had a clean shave with hot water then a few minutes of reflective meditation
While drinking tea

>>40873835
>>40873849
We can meditate over the tea.

>>40873840
Pleb, assuming we don't maintain the highest standard of grooming and hygiene on our glorious facial hair. " Knight Aspirant am I good in the face?"

>>40873896
Tea is good for meditation, yes.

>>40873906
Hey man, I'll I'm saying is that bloody bits in your beard seems like a bad time. Especially if those bloody bits were already rotted when they got there.

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>>40873729
>>40873730
>>40873734
>>40873776

You're not sure when having a clean shave with steaming hot water and a few minutes of quiet time to reflect upon yourself (and all the reasons you -shouldn't- stab your fellow Black Company members in the face) became less of a habit and more of a vital ingredient to considering a day remotely tolerable. Over time it's just become something you've always done, even during the Seige of Madij in the Ajiyimad Caliphate you still made time for a shave and you-time while artillery fell around your dugout.

You're partial to Darkwood Tea, but that's something you find to help calm you in the evening, and you can go a few days without it before you get the cravings.

You've always made a point of seeking out secluded or sparsely crowded areas during your morning ritual, less chance of someone with rank interrupting you. This morning is no different, from the berm atop the slop you can see the entirety of The Necromancer's camp... well less a camp and more like vast portions of his undead horde are standing still. To the South, not two leagues away lies your objective...

>The Elven Helenwoods, in ashes and aflame

>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>The Isle of Mages, battered and blockaded

(This is a major decision, it will influence the entirety of the current campaign. I will forgo the first-to-three rule and stick with a majority until I call the vote.)

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and besieged.

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged
Elves and Mages are far too tricksy. And getting to loot a city will be fun.

>>40874032
>>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874032
>The Isle of Mages, battered and blockaded
If anyone can put a wrinkle in a Necromancer's conquest, it would be mages. Best to get them out of the way.

>atop the slop
Maybe it's the late night. Maybe it's the whiskey. But this is the most hilarious typo I've read in a while.

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874032
>The Isle of Mages, battered and blockaded

>>40874032
>The Isle of Mages, battered and blockaded
I'm going to agree and say that these guys seem to be the only ones who could stop the Necromancer and thus badass ringers like us are in dire need.

>>40874032
>>The Isle of Mages, battered and blockaded.

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874092
>>40874106
>>40874123
>>40874126
>>40874141
>>40874247
Great City of Sarsburg: 6

>>40874167
>>40874146
>>40874152
>>40874125
Isle of Mages: 4


No love for elves. Thank god I can avoid the elf-slave wat do quandry for now. I will close the vote in 6 minutes after a snack.

>>40874032
>The Great City of Sarsburg, beleaguered and beseiged

>>40874277
I wanted to vote for the Elves because of the possibility that we could see neat wildlife.

But if you were really worried about us taking an Elven slave, just do what Dark Sun does with them.

Snack finished, votes closed. Writing.

>>40874384
>do what Dark Sun does with them.
Feed them to Thri-Kreen?

>>40874277
If something really becomes a quandary like that just present choices your comfortable with writing/extrapolating, or implying in the background, no write ins, power through it, and then don't make a big deal of it. Anyway me likey the quest so far.

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Sarsburg, the pride of the Neumunster Empire, and a massive middle finger to the encroaching darkness in the land. Its nobles proud, its merchants wealth, its commonfolk happy and its soldiery disciplined. Too rich a target too ignore, too formidable to take easily, your employer's host would not be the first invading horde to smash itself to pieces against its walls. Sarsburg has defied your employer for years, with a little luck and a lot of bloodshed, that won't be the case in a few days.

With the battered Neumunster army gathering their strength from the Battle of Weylan River and their Elven and Chevalisse allies weeks away at best, you know this siege isn't going to be long and drawn out like the 2 year wait at Far Sut Rus in the Kalgarri Dominion. No, this is going to be bloody and short.

Anyway, you suppose it's past time you stopped thinking about the whys and wherefores and focused on the job at hand.

>Head to Sergeant Frowns-at-Children's tent, doubtless he'll have the squad selection roster

>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.

>>40874570
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

>>40874570
>>Head to Sergeant Frowns-at-Children's tent, doubtless he'll have the squad selection roster

>>40874570
>>Head to Sergeant Frowns-at-Children's tent, doubtless he'll have the squad selection roster
Then
>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.

We should save up to buy a drake! I imagine that's something we could buy, right?

>>40874644
>Drake

Do you mean that in the sense of a baby Wyvern or an actual sire of a Dragon? Either way, an Undead horde is not the most market friendly (though some die-hard merchants do persist and make a living no pun intended).

Sarsburg does have a zoo in the Imperial Palace though. Who knows?

>>40874570
>Head to Sergeant Frowns-at-Children's tent, doubtless he'll have the squad selection roster
Get squared away-
>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.
Then Paid for the day.

>>40874700
In the sense of a draconic creature approximately the size of a horse. I just kind of assumed that those were called drakes.

We should send tougher or disease causing/rotting undead into the city with catapults

>>40874801
We could also empty our latrine and send shit their way as well

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>>40874634
>>40874644
>>40874765

Sergeant Frowns-at-Children grimaces at you as you enter his tent where you stand to attention. Which is to say his face changes not a bit, his constant demeanor of disapproval has frustrated your ability to read your senior NCO's actual mood for years now. It's stressful for a Corporal when they don't know if they've been doing acceptably or are about to be dragged out an hung as an example.

You don't know why he's called Frowns-at-Children either. He frowns at everyone regardless of age. Wildborn names are odd like that.

"Corporal Eve, here to select your new squad I presume?" he grumbles in your direction, giving you no indication to stand at ease. "Damn shame about what happened to the last of your men."

"I had nothing to do with that Ashworm attack, Sergeant."

"I made no implication that you did."

"...oh."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."
>"Call me Corporal, Sergeant. We both know Eve isn't my real name."
>"It's Corporal Adam, Sergeant. Humans get a bit hung up over things like gender and names."
>"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."

You may choose more than one conversation option.

>>40874928
>>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."
>"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."

>>40874928
>>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."
>"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."

>>40874928
>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."

>>40874928
>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."
>"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."

>>40874928
Just to clarify you're not choosing a gender here (I'm not questing a bearded woman that shaves every morning sorry guys). Eve or Adam is just what you put down when you joined Black Company. Wildborn don't quite get things like gender though.

>>40874928
>"I'll take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, thanks."
>"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."
Cool a female merc protag, This should be interesting!

>>40874996
Damn no rare dwarf woman protag.....

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>>40874956
>>40874974
>>40874982

"That Ashworm really wasn't my fault though."

"I realise, Corporal."

"I mean I wasn't even in that part of the camp. And that business with Trooper Jeffries was entirely his fault, I've still got the scar to prove it."

"Corporal, I understand that there is no possible way you could have orchestrated a rampaging Ashworm. Just take a look at the Squad Selection Roster, why are you assuming I am suspicious of you?"

"Because of the way you're looking at me!"

"...I always look at you like this." The Sergeants face doesn't not move an inch as he passes you the roster.

"Exactly..." you mutter.

>>40875091
LCPL Marcus

>>40875091
LET'S GO AUNTIE!

>>40875091
Battle Grandma.

>>40875091
Marcus, though I have to say auntie is a close second.

>>40875091
LCPL Marcus.

>>40875091
Marcus. I don't want to fight beside an undead granny this soon into the campaign.

>>40875091
Auntie

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>>40875091
>doesn't not
Christ, typo after typo today.

As you are part of the Kriegstrom Shock-Troops, your available Squad Selection is as follows.

-1 Lance Corporal (Knight-of-the-Line Upgrade)
-2 Blackguards (Knight-of-the-Line)
-4 Troopers (Knight-Aspirant Upgrade)

Most of the time (barring major engagements) you will select 1 Blackguard and 2 Troops for a mission/assignment/event. The other half will be left in control of your Lance-Corporal.

>>40875156
Marcus "God I miss my commision, was a knight captain you know."
Us "I've never heard some complain so much about not having to suck highborn dick."
Marcus" ... Well can't actually argue with that, pay was better though."
Us "Point."

>>40875114
>>40875122
>>40875130
>>40875156
>>40875163
>>40875165
>>40875179

This is very close. Would you be opposed to me rolling for it between LCPL Marcus and Auntie?

>>40875214
I'd say Marcus won but I wouldn't have hurt feelings over a roll.

>>40875214
Fine with either one.

>>40875188
Pietre and Mask

>>40875091
Jordan. Auntie if Jordan loses.

>>40875188
Pietre and Mask.
>>40875214
I'd say Marcus won as well, but if you really feel the need for a roll, go for it.

>>40875188
Pietre and Mask.

>>40875188
Pietre and Mask.
>>40875214
Would prefer marcus

>>40875188
Horsa, is a berserker but likely to follow orders and not arbitrarily duel us. And not a zombie.

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>>40875233
>>40875257
Fair enough.

LCPL 'Jack' Marcus it is.

>>40875237
>>40875257
>>40875267
>>40875281

And a solid Pietre and Mask. No love for dirty Skalds.
----------------------------------------------------------

Though you're torn on your choice of Second-in-Command, you eventually settle with Marcus. It's partly because he really does have the experience that you need to whip a new squad together and also because you still remember 'Auntie' Goodkind pinching your cheek all the time when you were a new Trooper.

The choice of Blackguards is barely a question, you faintly think about the pros of a beserker like Horsa before disregarding him like the unwashed Skald he is.

You're wondering what Sergeant Frowns-at-Children actually looks like around children when he passes you the Trooper roster.

File: Trooper Selection.png (5.42 MB, 2480x2528)

5.42 MB PNG

>>40875356
"Oh right" you think "Still have to choose the meat for the grinder."

--------------------------------------------------------------
All members not chosen are still present in Black Company, though their continued survival certainly isn't assured.

>>40875398
Vendis and Smiles-At-Dice

>>40875398
Jeanne, auntie, caroline, and vendis

>>40875398
Smiles-at-Dice, Calloway, Vanderbelt, and Belhamun.

>>40875398
>Smiles-at-Dice
>Nissar Belhamum
>Vendis Durvano
>Maria Merian

>>40875398
Jeanne
Aaron
Caroline
Smiles-at-dice

>>40875398
>Smiles-At-Dice
>Calloway
>Schuster
>Belhamun

>>40875450
>>40875463
>>40875466
>>40875473
Vendis and Smiles-at-Dice are in.

>>40875398
Caroline
Jeanne
Aaron
Isaac

>>40875398
Nissar-magic is useful
Isaac- PTSD awe yeah, that and hes skilled
Caroline- Wisecracking is an art
Smiles-at-dice- Bruv you know you gotta roll the dice.

>though their continued survival certainly isn't assured.
You say that like our leadership will keep our guys safe hahahaha

>>40875398
Vendis, Jeanne, Maria, Caroline, and Aaron

>>40875398
Schulster and Vanderbelt

>>40875503
Jeanne
Caroline

>>40875509
>>40875485
>>40875473
>>40875466
>>40875463
>>40875532
>>40875545


Correct me if I'm wrong but it looks like Smiles-at-Dice and Vendis Durvano made it in first, followed by Caroline Schuster and Nissar Belhamun.

>>40875523
Disregarded because that is 5 Troopers.

>>40875560
Didn't know there was a limit

>>40875560
That sounds good, I imagine we'll lose someone at some point and get another go at this anyway. 3/4 of my choices being picked is nice.

File: Scout Selection.png (2.55 MB, 2336x1692)

2.55 MB PNG

"Black Company, 7th Platoon, 2nd Squad. All present and account for, Sergeant."

"On paper."

"Yes, on paper."

"Just make sure you have them all lined up for roll call this afternoon. That bloodsucker Vermillio is having another one of his compulsory displays."

"Will do, Sergeant." Unlike meeting with officers you don't need to be dismissed officially so you exit the tent without a fuss.

-------------------------------------------------------
>Meet your Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus first
>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away
>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.
>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.

>>40875603
All good mate, the Squad Selection was decided by your corp >>40875188 >>40873136
Besides at least two of your preferences made it in anyway.

>>40875614
Wouldn't be Dark Fantasy without high attrition rates now would it?

(Scout Selection isn't anything to vote for since you're Kriegstrom and not pansy Rangers, but I'll be damned if it doesn't at least see the light of day)

>>40875761
>>Meet your Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus first
>>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away
>>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back
After the socializing is done,
>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.

So that we can save for gear and shit.

>>40875761
>Meet your Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus first
>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away
>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back

Then,

>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

Getting the lay of the land is how it's done.

>>40875761
>>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away
>>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back

>>40875761
>>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back
I'll gut ya and put you on display were ya love one can see how that was a stupid decision.

>>40875761
>Meet your Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus first
>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away

>>40875761
>Meet your Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus first
Bring Marcus to
>Check out the Blackguards, these are your hard hitters so it pays to have them squared away

Have Marcus
>Round up the Troopers, or Knights-Aspirant if you're feeling fancy. Make it clear how little you appreciated being literally stabbed in the back

Then,
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

File: LCPL 2 Neumunster.jpg (178 KB, 1101x1200)

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>>40875761
Your Lance-Corporal is the most important person in the squad next to yourself. He's the one that gauges the mood of the squad, motivates them when your brand of motivation isn't called for, and the one that the more novice members come to with questions rather than Big-Mr.Scary-Corporal, ergo you. Admin, general duties and picket lists are all things you can fob of to your LCPL as well, so you best get on his good side now.

You find Lance-Corporal Marcus by the platoon armoury, apparently in the middle of a heated argument.

"I'll be damned if you give this Platoon shoddy Chevalisse chainmail. No I don't care how cheap the stuff is or whose corpse you pulled it off. Get me Nuemunster work or nothing!"

The armourer in turn is halfway between cringing at the LCPL's drill-square voice and blustering outrage at his demands.
---------------------------------------------------------

>Continue listening
>Butt in and support Marcus, Chevalisse work is about as useful as Chevalisse pride.
>Point out that the majority of that 'Nuemunster Work' is on the Neumunster Army, some of which are now Neumunster Corpses walking around in the horde. Probably a bit much to ask the armourer to be stealing equipment from our employer
>Call Marcus over, getting this squad together is more important than bickering like quartermaster underlings

>>40876054
>>Point out that the majority of that 'Nuemunster Work' is on the Neumunster Army, some of which are now Neumunster Corpses walking around in the horde. Probably a bit much to ask the armourer to be stealing equipment from our employer

>>40876054
>Butt in and support Marcus, Chevalisse work is about as useful as Chevalisse pride.
"If it's such a huge issue to acquire proper armor 'look around' I don't see what need these skeletons have of armor protecting rotting jugulars and bone torsos."

>>40876054
>>Butt in and support Marcus, Chevalisse work is about as useful as Chevalisse pride.

>>40876054
>Butt in and support Marcus, Chevalisse work is about as useful as Chevalisse pride.
"If you really want some Nuemunster Work, take it from those you kill as a trophy."

>>40876054
>Continue listening

>>40876054
You can't help but grin as you offer the armorer your opinion on the usefulness of Chevalisse-made chainmail. Arguing with Supply is always the same. They threaten you with not getting any materials in the future, you threaten them with actual threats and they run off promising vengeance and all sorts of scandalous claims involving your parentage.

Either the stuff turns up in a couple of days or you check in and 'remind them' until it does. That or some junior officer pokes his nose into the whole business and Supply gets away with it.

"Well now that that's done with, who do I have to thank for - Ahem, Corporal." LCPL doesn't snap off a salute given there's only a miniscule amount of rank between you but his Neumunster upbringing forces him to at least snap to a sort of relaxed attention.

--------------------------------------------------------

>"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now."
>"Good drills, Lancer Marcus. That and I like a man that knows something about arms and armour."
>"So... your report tells me you left the Neumunster Army. Care to explain why?" (Dice: HARD)
>"Any questions on your new duties, Lancer?"

>>40876260
>"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now."

>>40876260
>>"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now."

>>40876260
>>"Good drills, Lancer Marcus. That and I like a man that knows something about arms and armour."
Also add "but relax you don't have to be formal."

>>40876260
>>"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now."

>>40876260
>"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now." "Appreciate the sentiment though."

File: Nuemunster Battleline.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1024)

1.24 MB PNG

>>40876260
"By the Dark Father, Marcus. No need to be standing to attention for me. We'll be seeing quite a lot of each other now."

He relaxes his stance somewhat, but doesn't take his eyes off you.

"So you're the Corporal for 7th Platoon's new squad? I'm either your new Lancer or I've been demoted to Trooper again. Either way I'm coming with you." The old Neumunster veteran grins at his own joke as you turn to the training areas, surely the Blackguards will be there?

"I just have one request, Corporal. If I'm going to be your Lancer I prefer a certain degree of autonomy. I've been ordering grunts around all my life, soldiery is all I've ever known. I know the one thing that indicates that things have gone to shit is when the superiors start arguing in front of the troops. So I'd ask this, Corporal, don't counteract my directions in front of the others if you can help it and I hope you can trust me to be competent at my own role."
----------------------------------------------------------------

>"Of course we won't be arguing in front of the grunts, Lancer Marcus. That's because you're going to be doing exactly as you're fekking told."
>"Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private."

>>40876567
>>"Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private."

>>40876567
>"Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private. I expect that courtesy to go both ways eh?"

>>40876567
>>"Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private."

>>40876567
>>"Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private."

File: Knight-of-the-Line Mask.jpg (52 KB, 600x800)

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>>40876567

You nod when he finishes. "Sounds reasonable. I can't promise I won't overrule you if I see a better option, but I will do my best to bring any concerns to you in private."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMPANION QUEST UNLOCKED
>Of Mice and Men
For: Lance-Corporal 'Jack' Marcus
Publicly side with Lancer Marcus in a dispute between him and members of the Squad.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh Red Bi- MY HAND!"

Ah, looks like you've found where the Blackguards are training. It's less a training area and more a clear patch of ground with more dirt and less mud.

From here you can see 2 no wait- 3, one is on the ground clutching his arm, armed warriors facing off against a warrior in Red. He's armed and armoured in the oddest equipment you've ever seen, it looks a hundred years old at least and certainly doesn't originate anywhere around here. Still, the wearer moves with a grace and speed that belies the fact that he- howishemovingwithalongswordthroughhisspine. This must be Mask, watching the Red Undead carve through his two remaining opponents with ease. They were also Blackguards, so those final blows probably weren't fatal. Probably.

(Cont)

File: Vangaurd (1).jpg (297 KB, 1000x1395)

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>>40876787
"Ah, perfect! Here I was thinking I'd be bored stiff with the riff-raff that had shown up today. Honestly, these are considered decent warriors in the Company? You, Red Corpse, you think can best THE best? Me, Sirrah Pietre Verdun? You... dare?"

The speaker is a tall figure on the other side of the pit, covered in dark armour and contemplatively tapping the hilt of his sword as he approaches the center of the ring.

Mask says nothing, but the rasp of it's blade as it leaves the sheath is message enough.

-------------------------------------------
>Interrupt. Let's not have your Heavy Hitters kill each other off on the first day, yes?
>Hmmm, no. Bad idea. How dumb do you have to be to get between two Blackguards showing down? Let's just see how this plays out.
>Place a bet on Mask
>Place a bet on Pietre

>>40876914
>Place a bet on Mask
Remind them no fatal blows

>>40876914
>Hmmm, no. Bad idea. How dumb do you have to be to get between two Blackguards showing down? Let's just see how this plays out.
It will stop Pietre from challenging every second when we march.

>>40876914
>Place a bet on Mask
"When neither will yield it looks wise to bet on the one who doesn't need to.. then again who knows, thats why its fun."

>>40876914
>>Hmmm, no. Bad idea. How dumb do you have to be to get between two Blackguards showing down? Let's just see how this plays out.

>>40876914
>Place a bet on Mask
Always bet on red.

>>40876946
Dictating non-lethal blows seems like interfering, I can't condone that for practical reasons.

Rolled 95, 45 = 140 (2d100)

>>40876946
>>40876965
>>40876984

This is literally a no-brainer. Blackguards are renowned to fighting to the death and Mask IS dead so how can you lose. Chuckling to yourself you place a few silver with the opportunistic Trooper Samuel Erinheart (or is it his brother Simon?).

--------------------------------------------------
1st 1d100 is for Pietre's attack
2nd 1d100 is for Mask's counter

(Lower the better)

>>40877003
You are correct. Blackguards play fast and loose with the rules, namely don't kill anyone other than another Blackguard in your rage.

File: Pietre tries so hard.jpg (19 KB, 250x300)

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>>40877030
Pietre dashes in, his long blade tearing apart Mask's defense with contemptous ease. In the space of a few seconds at least a dozen blows are made against him, Mask sent reeling from every strike.

"Alai!" Pietre launches in with a successful cry, severing Mask's swordarm just above the elbow before sinking the blade hilt deep up through the chest.

"A good bout my fri-ACK" Pietre's smug words are cut off by Mask's cold grip around his throat from the other hand. Struggling to get his sword out from Mask's chest cavity, he soon struggles to breathe against Mask's icy grip. It's not fancy or pretty, but the Knight-of-the-Line Pietre eventually blacks out and Mask is declared the winner.

>You gain 8 SILVER

----------------------------------------------------
>Marcus can you grab Pietre? Get some cold water on the fellow.
>Well done, Mask. I'm your new Corporal. Um... is that going arm to grow back?
>Any questions? Oh right of course.
>I mean, is there anything you'd like to know? Wait that's no better.
>I can't exactly hold a conversation with you, Mask so um... yeah, just come with us to meet the troops.

>>40877176
>>Marcus can you grab Pietre? Get some cold water on the fellow.
>>Well done, Mask. I'm your new Corporal. Um... is that arm going to grow back?

>>40877176
>Marcus can you grab Pietre? Get some cold water on the fellow.
>Well done, Mask. I'm your new Corporal. We gonna need to take some cord and needle to that arm?

>>40877176
>Marcus can you grab Pietre? Get some cold water on the fellow.
>Well done, Mask. I'm your new Corporal. Um... is that going arm to grow back?

>>40877245
We've been among the shambling dead for a short while now, guessing we wouldn't ask the 'does it grow back'. Unless they really do, surprise twist!

>>40877176
"Marcus can you grab Pietre? Get some cold water on the fellow." You gesture to the limp form at Mask's feet.

"Right away, Corporal."

"So Mask, good show out there. Real impressive! I was betting on you, don't you know? So... with that arm, and you being dead... I don't see them sewing their arms back one so do you... need a hand?"

Mask finally shakes his head slowly. Picking up the arm, sword still in hand, he holds it up to the cut for a few moments before some dark light catches your eye. Before you know it the arm is up and moving again looking none the worse for wear. Apart from the long rotten bit.

With that out of the way, and the still-dazed Pietre being half-carried by Lancer Marcus, you make your way to the Welcome Wagon, a Black Company -only- drinking den. About a dozen wagons drawn close together act as makeshift rooms for squads seeking a little more privacy, but it's plenty loud in the outdoor area. You decide to busy yourself with the easy job of putting your feet up on the crates outside and keeping one eye on the waking Pietre while Mask and Marcus go inside to rouse the rest of the Troopers.

(cont)

File: Welcome Wagon.jpg (253 KB, 900x505)

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>>40877376

>>40877376
Your eyes are drawn to a couple of fellas from the Rangers forming a makeshift band. You guess everyone in Black Company was something before they came here, so it's little surprise a few of your number are musicians.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znSCwbG8_L8

"I fekking love this song!"

You spot a brown-haired woman with a horrific burn-scar on the left side of her face dancing atop the table to the cheers of her drinking buddies. It's not exactly great dancing but the fact that she can move like that at all in full-plate armour and drinking simultaneously is impressive. Looks like this is one of your new squaddies.

"Trooper Schuster!" You shout over the din, approaching her table.

"Who's calling me Trooper? I'll have you now I'll be General, don't laugh Frank!" she throws her mug down at one of the others "General of the Black Company, says I! Before the end of the year too."
-------------------------------------------------------------
>"Funny, seeing as we only have the Captain and her 13 Lieutenants. No General rank there."
>"Oh aye, and I'll be crowned a Prince of Ajiyimad." (you actually were at one point but it's nowhere near as interesting as it sounds).
>"At attention, Trooper, on the double. Drinking when it's just past midday?"
>"Schuster! I'll forget that comment that could pass for insubordination if you shout me a pint."

File: Trooper 7 Scar-Joker.jpg (892 KB, 800x1289)

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>>40877518
And again forgot the pic of Trooper Caroline Schuster.

>>40877518
>"Oh aye, and I'll be crowned a Prince of Ajiyimad." (you actually were at one point but it's nowhere near as interesting as it sounds).

>>40877518
>>"Oh aye, and I'll be crowned a Prince of Ajiyimad." (you actually were at one point but it's nowhere near as interesting as it sounds).

>quest shrinks from 29 IPs to 2 votes in half an hour
That is just sad, but I am not surprised.

>Tfw your mother almost finds your sex toys

>>40877518
>"Oh aye, and I'll be crowned a Prince of Ajiyimad." (you actually were at one point but it's nowhere near as interesting as it sounds).

File: Trooper 1.jpg (372 KB, 848x1200)

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"And who are you?" Caroline squints at you suspiciously, yet hopefully.

"Your new Corporal." You reply.

"Oh..." You can see the hope fade from her eyes.

Slightly puzzled by such a strong reaction you ask "Why, who did you think I was?"

"I was -hoping- you were a free beer." She grunts as she jumps down from the table. "So I'm guessing we should round up the others?"

------------------------------------------------------------

You find Smiles-at-Dice at the Gambler's Run, of course. He was winning decidedly against a sweating Vendis Durvano.

"Blasted Wildborn and cursed landlubber luck. Won't have a Gods Cursed Penny to spend at the Harpy's Nest later. Hope you're happy Smiles." The pirate mutters several curses about his luck being no good so far from water as they pack away their game.

"Indeed. The occasion of no less than four 6's on the last two rolls was unexpected. This pleased me immensely." The Wildborn's voice is something akin to a very contemplative avalanche.

"Hmph." The Sabari ex-pirate can only grunt as Smiles disinterestedly puts away his earnings.


Nissar Belhamun was one of the myriad Troopers around Trooper Schuster's table. He has been smiling confusedly at about half of everything everyone says but it's clear that he understand's you're his new boss and that he is to stab who you tell him to stab. Or at least he made stabbing motions while giving you a thumbs up.

"Yes... Yes. Yes, sadiq....Corporal? Yes, Sadi-Corporal."

You're going to have to work on communication with this one. But you think he knows not to use magic with your say-so.

----------------------------------------------------------------

You have time for two things before you have to bring your squad to that public showing your Sergeant told you about. It's compulsory for Black Company members, suppose to instill "eternal loyalty to our Dark Sire" or somesuch. All you know is that you show up to these gruesome executions and get paid your 30 silver pieces for the week.

(Silver currently at 38)

>>40877745
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.
>Take a look at the Post, there's plenty of Freelance Mercenary Work offering good coin while you're not on strict Black Company duties. The Post is where the majority of the jobs are well... posted.
>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)
>Get straight into training, you want to see how these fellows work together and what you need to work on.
>Pick a particular Squaddie to talk to

Pick Two.

>>40877745
>>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

>>40877718
Ah well, people have real world commitments as well. I can only hope it's not my writing that's turned them off.

>>40877781
>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)

>>40877745

>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)
>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

>>40877807
Yeah i had to leave to take a bath, i was hallucinating and the wrinkles on my balls were moving, good times

>>40877781
>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)
>Get straight into training, you want to see how these fellows work together and what you need to work on.

>>40877781
>Spend some time socializing with your new Squad, break the ice a little at the Welcome Wagon. Hell, you'll buy the first round. (2 Silver)

>Seek out Page #137, that creature will have the word on the comings and goings of the horde. Plus he knows more about the restructured Company layout than anyone.

File: 5326057+_9ddd4af365a8c055(...).jpg (5 KB, 153x199)

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>>40877781
Spotting the somewhat suspicious looks some of the squad are casting about at each other you go with the tried and tested means of breaking in new squads. Drinking together.

Quickly establishing a reputation for yourself as a benevolent NCO, you buy the first round of drinks at the table. With mead flowing steadily but slow enough to avoid accusations of drunkeness from wandering junior officers, the squad starts to mingle.

Verdis Durvano both continues to curse Wildborn luck and blesses your kind soul for having mercy on a down on his luck see-born wretch.
Smiles-at-Dice looks like he's counting the number of bands on Masks armour but neither say anything.
Pietre is busy telling Nissar how he -could- kill him but he won't because that simply wouldn't present a challenge you see? Nissar must understand at least some of it given his worried laughter.
Caroline Schuster is busy chatting with Marcus about life back in Neumunster and who was born where and whose cousin is related to who. It's slightly entertaining giving that both are asking out of typical Neumunster politeness but neither wants to really reveal their background much at all.

After the second round you take your leave and tell the squad to wait out on your return, reminding them not to drink too much. (-2 Silver).

File: Page #137.jpg (194 KB, 600x1318)

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>>40877950
You spend a few minutes scrounging around the Black Company encampment before realising that of course Page #137 is going to be hanging around the Shadow Pit. The thing practically feeds off darkness.

You're just about to enter the deceptively small tent when you feel what appears to be a child's hand on your shoulder. The most disturbing part of that is that you felt that sensation on your skin below your plate armour.

"Dammit #137, I told you no touching." You growl as you turn around.

"But Corporal you have such... strong meaty shoulders. I can only admire your kind, tormenting and hardening your body for years...and for what? Your armour won't stop old age. Your sword won't stop disease or a failing heart." The voice is that of a child's, but with a shrill steel undertone.

You feel a small amount of sweat run down your back, you know he's Bound but damn you forgot how unsettling Page #137 could be.
He looks like a child too, a young boy. But you know better. At the Siege of Far Sut Rus, you saw what he's capable of unleashed.

----------------------------------------------------------------
>"*gulp* ...Sure. Frail mortality and all that."
>"You done?" (DICE MEDIUM)
>"Touch me again, pipsqueak, and I'll show an inch of Cold Steel up your arse for every day you were loose at Far Sut Rus." (DICE HARD)

--------------------------------------------------------------

I will have to call it quits after this, unfortunately.

>>40878069
>>"You done?" (DICE MEDIUM)

>>40878069
>"You done?" (DICE MEDIUM)

>>40878069
>"You done?" (DICE MEDIUM)

>>40878069
Touch me again and I'll have to touch you right back and then it might get awkward when we hold hands.

>>40878069
>>"You done?" (DICE MEDIUM)

>>40878069
>>"Touch me again, pipsqueak, and I'll show an inch of Cold Steel up your arse for every day you were loose at Far Sut Rus." (DICE HARD)