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/tg/ - Traditional Games


The township posts new deer crossing signs along your commute. Local news reports on bear rummaging through neighborhood trash cans. Buzzfeed shits out new listicle “20 reasons why Raccoons are dicks”. It’s a simple truth that as civilization expands, animals are forced to adapt to their new man-made environments.

The same holds true for vampires, ogres, fae, and all sorts of creatures that go bump in the night. Forced from their usual haunts, extranatural creatures have been forced to integrate with human society, completely transforming the criminal underground. Now Oni bounce for Yakuza, werewolves cruise down the I-95 strung out on meth, and men kiss Don Dracula’s ring. For decades criminal syndicates have waged a brutal shadow war for control of the streets, a war which daily threatens to spill over into the public eye. The stakes are more often than not surprisingly mundane, control of the local pot market or protection money for an area. But sometimes they are eldritch and beyond human understanding.

My name is Jason Reinhardt, and I’m an enforcer for Limited Liability, the last Human run syndicate. Here at LL, we just want to make a neat profit and retire young, no interest in bringing about the Apocalypse or ascending to godhood. It’s my job to serve as a personal retainer for my Lieutenant and facilitate her rise to power in the city of Saintsburgh. Armed with enchanted tattoos, runeforged weapons, and my mother’s knitting, I’m the guy who gives the nightmares nightmares.

EEQ Master Pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/6QexDk3H
>>
I step out of the house and back into the mid spring air, good temperature, a nice breeze. I won’t get too long to wear Ma’s hand knit scarf before it gets too hot, regardless of how cool it is when the wind catches it.

Hardek seemed… well balanced for a mage actually, especially considering his race and particular area of study. It’s not hard to imagine that an aerothurge might have to endure some ostracization from an earthy folk like the dwarves. Well, that or the anime thing. I should make sure not to insult his waifu or ask his opinion on hair drills.

Still, strange nihongo-philic tendencies aside, Hardek seemed like a fairly… obedient for want of a better word, mage, a rare trait in that particular demographic. The ability to use magic tends to make people into narcissistic megalomaniacal asshats. Although I doubt Hardek would be worth his beard in a fight, he might actually be able to provide practical services, something Gorgorgux would flounder with on even his best days.

Sighing and shaking my head at the thought of our eclectic ex-pyrothurge, I blithely check the remaining two mages, wondering where IU should go next.

>Visit Molten Bolten, Pompadour’d Geothurge
>Visit Essylt Canonach, mediocre Elf druid
>>
>>40742307
>>Visit Molten Bolten, Pompadour’d Geothurge
>>
>>40742307
Very nice. Been looking forward to this.
>Mediocre elf druid
>>
>>40742307
>>Visit Molten Bolten, Pompadour’d Geothurge
What a name
>>
>>40742307
>>Visit Molten Bolten, Pompadour’d Geothurge
>>
>>40742307
Visit elf waifu that the QM added out of laziness.
>>
>>40742307
>>Visit Molten Bolten, Pompadour’d Geothurge
Elfie goes last
>>
>Visit Pompadour, glorious hair style with attached Geothurge
>>
Considering last time I spoke to Essylt I had pulled a burlap sack off her head, shoved a rolls of twenties into her chest, and told her that I’d “recreate that woodchipper scene from Fargo and she’d be stuck as Steve Buscemi” if I ever saw her again, I decided that it’d be better if I saw Molten Bolten first.

As with Hardek, I try to call Bolten on my way over. Unlike the dwarven shut in, the phone rings several times before going to voicemail. The message is one of the default ones, some calm robotic voice informing me that he was unable to answer my call and to leave a message after the tone.

“Hey Bolten, LL rep calling. We’re doing a round of surprise interviews, just a heads up.”

Satisfied that I divulged as little personal information as possible, I settle back and keep on driving.

Unlike Hardek’s house, which although in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Lower East, was ultimately still in the slums of Saintsburgh, Bolten’s apartment is well across the tracks, near center city actually. Feeling increasingly self conscious of my deliberately beaten up Beemer, I eventually turn away from Center City, heading into Kenwood Park, a hive of artists and hipster degenerates.

Much like Lower East, Kenwood Park used to be an industrial area. Unlike Kenwood park, the old factories weren’t left up to rot with the sudden disappearance of jobs circa 1979, but instead were torn down or renovated. The end result was still the same however, a collection of “grunge-chic” apartments and organic grocers to supply the needs of Saintsburgh’s contingent of trust fund babies. Bolten’s address was one of those buildings, a towering General Mills flour plant turned apartment complex, the original painting and signage restored and proudly displayed. The sign next to the entrance, painted on the old brick wall, reads “The Mill”.
>>
Luckily, unlike many other apartment complexes with similar price tags, The Mill lacks many of the same security features, such as a check in desk or security guy. Most likely since such things would be too bourgeois for our little pack of bohemians.

I walk over to the elevator, unsurprisingly converted from an old grain lift, and tap the up button, rolling to resist the urge to grind my teeth. I fail spectacularly when the lift arrives, disgorging a gaggle of twenty-somethings all wearing women’s sunglasses and weirdly anachronistic looking footwear.

I step into the lift quickly, and hammer the button for the 8th floor, where Bolten’s apartment supposedly is.

Top floor. Whatever he does, he’s done well for himself.

The lift doors open to reveal a long hallway, two doors on either side. I walk up to the appropriate one, and knock.

No reply, but the door does swing open slightly. The lights in the apartment appear to be off, but considering the ample amount of natural sunlight pouring in, that doesn’t seem to be a problem. The scent of spilled alcohol drifts by, carried on a gentle breeze. Considering the wanting building security, I find it more than a little concerning that the door is unlocked like this.

>Close door, knock louder.
>Proceed into apartment
>Proceed into apartment ready for trouble
>Shout into apartment.
>>
>>40743263
>>Proceed into apartment
Knocking as you pass the door again.
>>
>>40743263
>Proceed into apartment
>>
>>40743263
>>Proceed into apartment ready for trouble
>>
>>40743263
>>Proceed into apartment ready for trouble
>>
>>40743263
>Proceed into apartment ready for trouble
>>
I grimace, sincerely wishing I hadn’t left my bat and gun in the back of the car. Well, at least the gun, the bat might’ve been a little too conspicuous. I lift up on the door handle slightly, so that there's less weight on the hinges, and push the door open. The inside of the apartment is utterly cavernous and a horrible mess. The flooring is some sort of reclaimed wood, and the furniture that isn’t buried in clothing and pizza boxes looks to be hand crafted. Gingerly stepping around some worrisomely sticky looking puddles, I walk further into what I realize is the entrance hall. The apartment is designed to be open, and I can see into the living room, similarly messy with a massive television, probably 4k, and couches utterly covered in the remains of some sort of festivity. The living room has some tremendously massive windows set into one wall where most of the light is coming from.

I glance around. There’s a metal staircase nearby, steps covered in women’s undergarments hanging from long metal poles leading up to a second floor. As I’m about to head up the steps I hear something sizzle, and the scent of bacon drifts through the air, overpowering the smell of spilled mango vodka. I sniff at it inquisitively, my stomach reminding me gently that it is almost lunch time.

>Go into Kitchen
>Head upstairs
>Do you do so ready for trouble, or try to make your presence known?
>>
>>40743636
>>Go into Kitchen
Go for the bacon.
>>
>>40743636
>>Go into Kitchen
Ready for trouble
>>
>>40743636
>Go into Kitchen
When has bacon deceived you?
>>
>>40743636
>>Head upstairs
>>make your presence known?
The Big Conspicuous Expensive TV is both present and intact, so the mess is likely the result of a regular bender rather than foul play.
>>
>>40743834
Also, don't spook the combat mages.
>>
Frankly speaking, the odds of a home intruder cooking up bacon seem low, but I’ve seen stranger things. Admittedly many of them involved either myself or someone else consuming a large amount of psychotropics, but that is beside the point. I head over the to kitchen, trying not to make too much noise, although not very hard considering the lively crackle issuing from the strips of pigflesh. Having successfully approached our unknown chef without being detected, I glance around the wall and into the kitchen.

A woman, presumably wearing nothing but the pair of panties and large men’s T-shirt, is standing over the stove top, her attention and both her hands occupied with a pan on the front burner. Sitting next to it is a plate of already finished strips, as well as some buttered toast. Glasses are out, although devoid of any sort of juice. I imagine that’s still in the fridge.

>The lack of a pompadour clearly indicates this isn’t the geothruge we’re looking for. Head up to the bedroom
>Get attention of girl in non-alarming fashion, ask about Bolten.
>Acquire breakfast for lunch.
>>
>>40743877
>>Get attention of girl in non-alarming fashion, ask about Bolten.
>>
>>40743877
>Get attention of girl in non-alarming fashion, ask about Bolten.

Also inquire about making a bacon butty.
>>
>>40743877
>Get attention of girl in non-alarming fashion, ask about Bolten.
>>
>>40743877
>>Get attention of girl in non-alarming fashion, ask about Bolten.
>>Acquire breakfast for lunch.
>>
>>40743877
>Acquire breakfast for lunch.Be polite,though
>>
>>40743877
>breakfast
>for lunch
uwotm8
>>
Coughing loudly, I knock against the doorframe. The woman puts down the spatula and moves the pan off of the heat before tossing her hair back and turning around quite slowly. “Hey sleepyhe-”

Her words catch in her throat and the coquettish smile slides off into a shocked “O”.

I decide that I should take the initiative before people start screaming. “Yo. You know where Bolten is?”

The woman blinks at me a few times. “I… I uh… how did you get in? Who are you?”

I shrug. “Door was unlocked and no one was answering when I knocked. Shit… I called earlier you know?”

The woman’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “Lots of people call. And you didn’t answer the second question.”

Suddenly she’s brandishing the spatula like it’s a deadly weapon, held out in front of her like a sword.

Jesus Christ, if this is how she’s reacting it’s probably a good thing I left the bat in the Beemer.

>”Yeah… I’m the drummer.” According to the dossier, Bolten’s in a band, and no one remembers the drummer.
>”I’m the LL rep. We’re here to talk about Bolten’s new album.”
>”Listen, I’m just here to talk to Bolten, alright? Also maybe get some of that bacon.”
>Write In
>Roll Charisma for fun. 3d10 in case we’ve all forgotten.
>>
Rolled 6, 4, 10 = 20 (3d10)

>>40744206
>”I’m the LL rep. I’M here to talk about Bolten’s new album.We need his confirmation on the cover artwork”
>>
Rolled 2, 4, 10 = 16 (3d10)

>>40744206
>>”Yeah… I’m the drummer.” According to the dossier, Bolten’s in a band, and no one remembers the drummer.
>>
>>40744206
>”Listen, I’m just here to talk to Bolten, alright? Also maybe get some of that bacon.”
>>
>>40744206
>”I’m the LL rep. We’re here to talk about Bolten’s new album.”
>>
Rolled 4, 9, 7 = 20 (3d10)

>>40744206
>”I’m the LL rep. We’re here to talk about Bolten’s new album.”
>>
“Listen,” I say, holding up my hands mollifying, “I’m just the guy LL sent over. We’re here to talk about Bolten’s new album, that’s all.”

The woman squints from behind her spatula. “You don’t look like a label suit.”

“Yeah well,” I grin, “Do you really think Bolten would be signing with your average label?”

The woman squints for a beat more before relaxing, lowering the cooking implement. “Yeah I ‘spose not. Sorry,” she says sheepsihly, “Sorry about the uh… suspicion.”

I grunt neutrally. “Gimme some of that bacon and toast and we’ll call it even, yeah?”

The woman nods, and hands over a plate of toast and bacon, flashing me an awkward smile as she hands it over. “He’s upstairs. Bolten, I mean.”

I nod. “Figured. Thanks.”

The woman nods before turning back to the bacon. As I leave the kitchen, the crackling starts back up again.

I hurry up the hanging metal stairs, taking care to avoid slipping on any loose underwear, munching on an improvised bacon sandwich.

The stairs open up to a huge bedroom, dominated in the center by a king sized bed. As I walk up to it, one of several lumps shifts around under the covers. The pompadour breeches first, followed by the rest of Bolten’s head and upper body. The mage rubs his eyes sleepily and yawns.

“Hey babe,” he says, palms still rubbing against his eyes, “Is that breakfast I smell?”

>”You bet hot buns.”
>”Yeah, it’s mine. You can go downstairs if you want yours.”
>”Molten Bolten, I presume?”
>Write In
>>
>>40744594
>>”You bet hot buns.”
>”Molten Bolten, I presume?”
>>
>>40744594
>”You bet hot buns.”
>>
>>40744594
>”Molten Bolten, I presume?”
>>
>>40744594
>”You bet hot buns.”
>"I`m the dude who is doing your LL job interview."
>>
>>40744594
>>”You bet hot buns.”
>>"But some guy from LLC is here for you."
>>
I sneer. “You bet hot buns.”

It takes Bolten a few seconds to register that either no one he’s slept with has that sonorous of a baritone, or he’s got some serious introspection to do. Regardless, he lurches out of bed, managing to pull on a pair of boxers as he does so, left hand held out threateningly while his right adjusts the waist band.

“Who the fuck are you,” he snarls.

I slowly move over to the least cluttered chair in the room, sweep the clothing on it onto the ground, and take a seat. “I’m the guy from Limited Liability,” I reply, ripping off a bite of the sandwich and chewing loudly. “Reinhardt. Enforcer Reinhardt.”

Bolten blinks at me, comprehension slowly dawning. “Oh shit, you’re from LL,” suddenly a switchblade is in his hand. He twirls the handle around a bit before popping the blade out and running it along his hair. I squint at the object in his hands. Not a blade, a comb. As I relax back into my chair, Bolten pulls on some jeans and a white t-shirt from the floor. “My people musta forgotten to file your appointment

I shake my head. “No appointment. I’m just dropping in on the finalists. For last round assessments.”

“Yeah okay man,” replies Bolten as two more people emerge from the bed, from the looks of it twins, both holding some article of clothing over their chests. Bolten shoos her downstairs.

“Like a fucking clown car that thing,” I grunt nodding in the direction of the bed.

“Yeah, I ‘spose so,” replies Bolten. “Well, mi casa su casa Reinhardt. Whaddya want to know?”

>”What’s your specialty?”
>”So you’re in a band. There won’t be a recognition issue here right?”
>”How many people know you’re a mage?”
>”How strict are your moral compunctions?”
>Write in
>>
File: video_redline3_v.jpg (142 KB, 1280x720)
142 KB
142 KB JPG
4got pic
>>
>>40745017
>”So you’re in a band. There won’t be a recognition issue here right?”
>”How many people know you’re a mage?”
>"I reckon the band is not paying off as a living,since you are looking for a job as a mage"
>>
>>40745017
>”What’s your specialty?”
>"How strict are your moral compunctions?”

All good questions but I don't want to overload you.
>>
>>40745017
>”So you’re in a band. There won’t be a recognition issue here right?”
>”How many people know you’re a mage?”
>>
>>40745017
>>”What’s your specialty?”
>>”So you’re in a band. There won’t be a recognition issue here right?”
>>”How many people know you’re a mage?”
>>”How strict are your moral compunctions?”
>>
>>40745017
>>”What’s your specialty?”
Is it slutomancy by any chance?
>>
>>40745017
>”What’s your specialty?”
>”So you’re in a band. There won’t be a recognition issue here right?”
>>
How popular is your band? Will people recognize you walking down streets?
>>
“Alright, let’s deal with the elephant in the room first. Frankly, I don’t keep track of any music scene. So don’t take this the wrong way, but is there going to be a recognition issue here?”

Bolten blinks. “Like… uh… whaddya mean by that?”

“If we take you out on a job, what are the odds randos will recognize you from the band stuff?”

“Shit man, Tectonic Overdrive are the fucking KINGS of the Saintsburgh punk scene,” shouts Bolten, suddenly quite animated, “Our shows sell out in like… a week of announcement! We’ve got people rioting on stage every week!”

“Mmm. That’s… certainly a thing to consider.”

Bolten looks slightly nervous. “I mean, that said we are still underground mostly, you know what I mean? It’s not like we’ve sold out to the mainstream or nothing.”

I narrow my eyes slightly. Sounds like a euphemism for “we play in some bar and the same hundred people all get shitfaced”. “Very well then. So what exactly is your magical speciality?”

Molten Bolten glances around, making sure no one else is present, before hurrying over the to stairs and closing some sort of trapdoor. “Alright man,” he says, voice quivering with excitement, “Check this shit out.”
>>
Quite suddenly, his left arm snaps, sounding a bit like the first rock falling in an avalanche. Then suddenly cracks spread along his arm, originating from the shoulder, orange light pulsing out. The skin dries out and turns into grey stone and soon I’m looking at some sort of magma arm. It looks like Bolten’s left arm was carved out of granite, while magma flows underneath, roughly where his veins would be.

“Pretty fucking awesome right,” grins Bolten, “I can toss out balls of lava, shoot flames, shit when I punch the ground it can generate this huge shockwave.”

I lean back from the arm, impressed in spite of myself. “Jesus Christ. First time I’ve seen something like that. Can you do anything else?”

“Yeah, I can raise stone walls, send out blasts of seismic force… all sorts of shit.”

“Any ritual magic?”

“Ritual magic,” Bolten asks, looking confused.

“Like magic circles and summoning and shit.”

“Uh… no,” Bolten answers, his arm hissing as it reverts to flesh and bone.

>”How many people know you’re a mage then?”
>”Moral compunctions?”
>”Why do you want this job?”
>Write in
>>
>>40745846
>>”How many people know you’re a mage then?”
>>”Moral compunctions?”
>>
>>40745846
>”How many people know you’re a mage then?”
>>”Moral compunctions?”
>>”Why do you want this job?”
>>
>>40745846
>”Why do you want this job?”
>”How many people know you’re a mage then?How come you`re under the radar,being the magma kid and all?”
>>
>>40745846
>”How many people know you’re a mage then?”
>”Moral compunctions?”
>”Why do you want this job?”
>>
>>40745846
>>”How many people know you’re a mage then?”
>>”Moral compunctions?”
>"What are you looking for, in this job?"
>>
I chew the inside of my cheek, and decide to change the subject. “Alright, this is related to the band thing-”

“You want us to play a gig for you?”

“No. Not really. I wanted to know, how many people, if any, know you’re a mage?”

Bolten scratches the back of his head. “I mean, I use my left arm sometimes during a show, you know if things are getting really heavy right? But everyone just thinks that’s some special effects or something. I mean, I’ve never told anyone.”

“None of your many groupies?”

Bolten grins. “Nope! And like at least of third of them ask me to do the arm thing again. I only do it on stage or in private, you know?”

“And no one wonders how the hell your arm turns into lava?”

“Nope.”

“... Alright. Real crowd of MENSA candidates you’re hanging out with?”

“Maybe?”

Deciding that Bolton probably wasn’t MENSA material himself, I move to another topic. “So, you will most likely be asked to participate directly in illegal activities during your line of work is this going to po-”

“Hell no man,” replies Bolten, cutting me off, “You point me in a direction and I’ll wreck it. It’s like, the evolution of punk. I’m moving onto the next stage of social dissonance man.”

“Alright then. So, if you don’t mind my asking, why are you seeking this position?”

Bolten’s smile falters a bit. “I told you man, to seek the next level of punk. I’m done with just ragin against the system. It’s time to start smashing it!”

>Let it go and either leave or discuss something else (write in)
>”Pretty impressive digs, for a band that hasn’t even broken into the mainstream yet.”
>>
>>40746177
>”Pretty impressive digs, for a band that hasn’t even broken into the mainstream yet.”
>>
>>40746177

>"This is not your apartment,correct?"
>>
>>40746177
>>Let it go and either leave or discuss something else (write in)
Yeah, see, we're not actually trying to destroy the system. Just.....hollowing out a comfortable little hole for the supernatural guy.
>>
>>40746177
>>”Pretty impressive digs, for a band that hasn’t even broken into the mainstream yet.”
>>
I think this guy is not the one. :(
>>
>>40746290
Hell no
He is just a sweaty sjw tryhard
I like utility dorf
>>
>>40746290
It's amusing at first, but I really think this guy won't work well with our pseudo-corporate vibe we've got going on.
>>
>>40746290
Weeb air-dwarf is miles better than this guy.
>>
>>40746350
Now let's not be rude anon. Bolten is no SJW

>>40746366
Frankly I've got a hard time writing cocksure assholes who aren't the MC. I'm not sure if I'm getting the right vibe across for him.
>>
>>40746403
so far he appears stupid and reckless.Not the guy we need
>>
>>40746403
I just don't like his overall reasons for joining.
>>
“Yeah, let’s just cut the crap. This isn’t actually your place, is it?”

Bolten looks taken aback. “Wha- no way man, Molten Bolten don’t need no handouts!”

I blink at him. “Alright boss. Whatever you say.”

Bolten looks distressed as I get up and open up the trap door. “Listen, LL will get back to you with our final decision. I’ll see you when I see you, yeah?”

Bolten merely grunts a farewell, and I take my leave of his apartment, and The Mill as a whole.

I finish the bacon sandwich on the way down.

As I step outside I sigh. I really wasn’t looking forward to this, but I’ve only got one more mage to see today.

>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
>Skip Essylt. You already know you don’t want to work with her.
>>
>>40746403
I like it, don't worry about it. It's just down with the system doesn't go well with us when we are trying to become the system. As far as I gather we are basically trying to become the contractor cops of the supernatural world, and get rich doing it.
>>
>>40746512
>>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
Standerd Thing
Dont act like you know her
>>
>>40746512
>Skip Essylt. You already know you don’t want to work with her. But call and say are you really THIS FUCKING RETARDED?! No contact doesn't mean get a job with LL.
>>
>>40746512
>>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
Don't make it seem like we've had dealings before; be professional.
>>
>>40746512
>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
Standard spiel.
>>
>>40746512
>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
About the wood chipper thing? I was having a bad day, sorry.
>>
>>40746512
>Head over to see Essylt.
>Heeeeey there girlscout! Funny storry,i`m acutally in charge of your interview
>>
>>40746512
>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone

Might as well be thorough, but yeah weeb dwarf all the way.
>>
>>40746559
Anon, please.
>>
>>40746512
>>Head over to see Essylt. Write in anything you’d like to say over the phone
She better have had a damn good make-over as well as gained some useful but NOT potentially dangerous for betrayal skills.
>>
>>40746512
>>Head over to see Essylt.
>hey you're not dead yet!
>Who do you have to thank for that?
>>
Gimme some rolls.
>>
Rolled 4, 9, 2 = 15 (3d10)

>>40746794
>>
Rolled 2, 10, 9 = 21 (3d10)

>>40746794
k
>>
Rolled 8, 2, 3 = 13 (3d10)

>>40746794
>>
Rolled 6, 5, 9 = 20 (3d10)

>>40746794
>>
Rolled 2, 6, 1 = 9 (3d10)

>>40746794
>>
Fuck! As much as I hate awkward situations, I’ve also got a job to do. Irritatedly wondering why the hell she was even scouted and shortlisted in the first place I hop into my Beemer and drive off before someone tickets me for not feeding the meter. Probably more subverting the system there than Bolten’s done in his entire bepompadour’d life.

Chewing the inside of my cheek worriedly, I pull out the phone and call the number given to me. Essylt picks up after one ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello Ms. Canonach? I’m a representative from Limited Liability. As you may or may not be aware, you are one of three finalists for our mage opening. I’m coming over for a final interview.”

“Oh, very well,” replies Essylt, sounding surprised but reasonable, “Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Very well then. Thank you for calling ahead. I look forward to meeting with you.”

I hang up, somewhat relieved that she didn’t seem to have recognized my voice. I’ll take it.
>>
>>40747059
Put the Darth Vader mask back on, quickly!
>>
The drive back into Lower East is quick, and soon I find myself stopping in front of a small hardware store. The building is in generally better repair than its neighbors, which at least speaks to to competence of the proprietor. Inhaling deeply, I knock at the door.

Essylt opens the door, her hair pushed back behind a bandana, a bit of dirt smudged on her nose. Her polite smile fades almost instantly into a look of shock upon seeing me. I grin awkwardly, but before I can even get a “Hey” out Essylt takes two quick backsteps and lashes out with her right hand, invoking some unknown language.

Thick vines suddenly lash out and seize me by the waist. Although not entirely unexpected, compared to her last performance I thought I’d have a bit more time before she managed any casting. The vines tug me into the darkened shop, flinging me down one aisle, where I tuck into a roll, skittering to a crouch instead of bouncing agaisnt the ground.

For all the good that did me. No sooner than I had gained my footing and the vines were back, tugging me back onto the floor, spread eagled. A few seconds later and Essylt is looming over me, holding a gardening trowel up against my throat as if it’s a knife.

“Goddamn it, what the hell are YOU doing here!? I’ve kept a low profile! I thought you were going to leave me alone!”

Despite her bared teeth I can see fear in her eyes.

>”Is this how you treat all your potential employers or am I just special?”
>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>Write in
>>
>>40747080
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>>
>>40747080
>"I left the bat in the car, I'm not here to wood chipper you I promise. I was the guy on the phone"
>>
>>40747080
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>>
>>40747080
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>>
>>40747080
>>”Is this how you treat all your potential employers or am I just special?”
>>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>>
>>40747080
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>>
>>40747080
>>”Is this how you treat all your potential employers or am I just special?”
>"Did you really expect anything else when you signed up for LL?"
>>
>>40747080
>>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>>
>>40747080
>>40747115
this

also we better have Ma's mittens close by
>>
>>40747080
>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>>
>>40747080
>>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>>”Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”
>>
>>40747080
>”I didn’t realize that finding syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”
>Look at vines "Kinky."
>>
>Twelve responses in less than ten minutes

Oy vey.
>>
>>40747260
You're so popular now senpai, don't forget me please
>>
>>40747080
Okay, it's a toss up between her and the dwarf now. Can we hire both?
>>
“Fucking Christ woman, I was the guy on the phone!”

Essylt blinks at me a few times. “S-s-so you’re not here to shove me in a woodchipper?”

The vines don’t loosen, otherwise I would’ve run my hand over my face. “N-no. No. No I’m not.”

Essylt visibly relaxes and moves the trowel away from my neck. “Oh… good. I felt rather stupid for a moment. The irony doesn’t escape me, you know,” she says suddenly, looking at me with an indignant flush, “that the one place I could get a job also sold wood chippers.”

“Does it?”

Essylt leans against one of the shelves and slides to sit down on the floor next to me. “Yes. Down aisle four. We keep them in the back.”

The vines loosen around my arms and legs and I sit up, rubbing my wrists. “Yeah uh… sorry about the woodchopper thing. I was a bit stressed out.”

There is a brief pause. Essylt doesn’t say anything. I continue speaking. “So, I didn’t realize syndicate work was part of keeping a low profile.”

Essylt glances over at me before looking away again. “It pays better and I don’t need to hide my ears. Besides, the manager here is a creep.”

I grunt. Well, time to do my job.

>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”
>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
>”Are you still pissed at me?”
>Write in
>>
>>40747451
>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40747451
>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40747451
>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
I have to ask this just in the feint hope she'll respond with "I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me"
>>
>>40747451
>>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”

>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40747451
>>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>”Are you still pissed at me?”
>>
>>40747451
>>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”
>>
>>40747451
>”So, you knew that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant as me, right?”
>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
After another long pause, I rub my jaw with my hand. “Like, you did know that you were applying to work under the same Lieutenant that I do, right?”

Essylt looks away from me again, large elf eyes looking at some tiling on the floor. “After the warehouse thing… there were rumors…”

“Eh? What rumors?”

Essylt swallows, a flush creeping up the back of her neck. “People were saying that the Enforcer had been hospitalized. Broken spine.”

>”Fucking hell. So you only applied ‘cause you thought I was shitting into a plastic bag?”
>”I’m trying real hard to not be offended right now.”
>”...You know, I let you off pretty easy. Just a warning and a roll of twenties.”
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>Write in
>>
>>40747682
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>>
>>40747682
>>”Fucking hell. So you only applied ‘cause you thought I was shitting into a plastic bag?”
>>”I’m trying real hard to not be offended right now.”
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>>
>>40747682
>Want to start over? I'll ignore this if you ignore the wood chipper
>>
>>40747682
>>”Fucking hell. So you only applied ‘cause you thought I was shitting into a plastic bag?”
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>>
>>40747682
>”Fucking hell. So you only applied ‘cause you thought I was shitting into a plastic bag?”
>”I’m trying real hard to not be offended right now.”
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>>
>>40747682
>>”...You know, I let you off pretty easy. Just a warning and a roll of twenties.”
>”Jesus Christ, I’m really not that evil. My Ma even knits me shit! How can a man who gets knitwear from his mother be evil!”
>>
>>40747682
>>”I’m trying real hard to not be offended right now.”
>>”...You know, I let you off pretty easy. Just a warning and a roll of twenties.”
>>
>>40747682
>”...You know, I let you off pretty easy. Just a warning and a roll of twenties.”
>>
I lean against the opposite side of shelving and cross my arms, scowling. “Fucking hell. So you only applied ‘cause you thought I was shitting in a plastic bag?”

Essylt gives a very unladylike involuntary snort of laughter in response. “I mean, I suppose that isn’t exactly wrong…”

I sigh. “You know, I’m trying real hard not to be offended right now.”

Essylt gives me an exasperated look. “Really Enforcer? The first time I meet you, you beat four elves and an ogre to death with a baseball bat, which was incredibly messy by the way. And then later, after you hold me in custody for what must be a week, you put a sack over my head and drag me out to who knows where! I thought I was going to die!”

“Hey, I let you go with a stern warning and some cash to relocate yourself. That’s pretty damn generous in our line of work.”

“You threatened to shove me into a woodchipper.”

“Stern warning.”

“I had nightmares for weeks.”

I glance over at Essylt, who is sitting with her chin tucked behind her kneecaps, arms wrapped around her legs. I look back down at my own feet, shake my head, and sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry about the woodchipper thing. Seriously, I’m not such a bad guy. Hell, my Ma even knits me shit! How horrible can someone be, really, if they’ve got knitwear from their mother!”

I glance over to see Essylt’s chin rise above her knees, a slight smile playing over her lips. “Your mother knits for you?”

I immediately feel a deep sense of regret. “... Yes.”

Essylt snorts, before tilting her head back and howling with laughter. After a few seconds, I chuckle too. Eventually she calms down enough to speak. “A… a syndicate Enforcer… who wears his mother’s knitting?”
>>
>”I’ve got a red scarf from her in my car if you’re curious.”
>”That’s how I busted through your spell shield the first time we met. Mitten made with love.”
>”I… uh.. yes. Can we get back to the interview?”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
>>”Are you still pissed at me?”
>Write in
>>
>>40748086
>”That’s how I busted through your spell shield the first time we met. Mitten made with love.”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40748086
>”I… uh.. yes. Can we get back to the interview?”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40748103
>”That’s how I busted through your spell shield the first time we met. Mitten made with love.”
>Write in
>"Never underestimate the power of a mother's love."
>>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
>>
>>40748103
>>”I… uh.. yes. Can we get back to the interview?”
>>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40748118
>>40748178
Guys, don't spill shit like what our magic is.
>>
>>40748103
>>”That’s how I busted through your spell shield the first time we met. Mitten made with love.”
>>
>>40748103
>>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
>>>”Are you still pissed at me?”
>>
>>40748103
>>”I’ve got a red scarf from her in my car if you’re curious.”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>
>>40748217
>>40748178
>>40748118
You guys are seriously going to give out information to someone who's not only not even in the organization yet, but also might still hate our ass enough to go spill it to other people?
>>
>>40748103
>”I’ve got a red scarf from her in my car if you’re curious.”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”
>>”So, you think you’re cut out for the thug life?”
>>
>>40748103
>>”I… uh.. yes. Can we get back to the interview?”
>>”Well, we already know what you specialize in. What I want to know is when did you start not being terrible?”

Pls no mitten secrets UG. Pls
>>
>>40748103
>”I’ve got a red scarf from her in my car if you’re curious.”
>”I… uh.. yes. Can we get back to the interview?”
>>
I briefly wonder if I should reveal the knitwear as the origins of my anti-magic powers but eventually decide against it. If only to play it safe in case we don’t end up hiring Essylt. “I’ve got a red scarf in the passenger seat of my car, in case you don’t believe me.”

Essylt snorts once more, and I continue talking. “But anyway, back to the interview. We already know pretty well what you specialize in. The question I have is when did you stop being… you know… terrible?”

Essylt looks mildly offended before shrugging. “Well, it helps a lot that my magic’s not being drained to feed to Pix plants. Also, ever since the first time we met and how you people managed to successfully contain me inside of a circle painted on carpeting, I felt like I needed additional practice.”

“Which entailed?”

“Oh, mostly just practicing on the plants in here after closing hours. I think that they have become attuned to my aetheric signature, which is probably one of the reasons why they reacted so quickly to my casting.”

“I… uh I’ll take your word for it?”

“You should, my word is good.”

>Thug life
>Angry at me
>Write in
>>
Rolled 7, 10, 10 = 27 (3d10)

>>40748686
>Thug life
>>
>>40748686
>Angry at me
>>
>>40748686
>Thug life
>Angry at me
>>
>>40748686
>>Thug life
>>Angry at me
>>
>>40748686
>Thug life
>Angry at me

>>40748719
nice roll anon, though I'm not sure it will do anything
>>
>>40748759
Clearly the thug life chose the dice.
>>
>>40748686
>>Angry at me
>>
“Alright, so just to be clear here. You’ve obviously been around the proverbial block before. I thought you had decided against the thug life?”

“Frankly, if I have realized anything during this semi-exile, it is that I don’t feel nearly as guilty for my role in Pix production as I initially thought I did. I have actually experienced an onset of ennui upon leaving the criminal life. I think I might not quite have the psyche for a boring, integrated lifestyle in mundane society.”

I nod. “I can understand that, certainly. Okay, one final question. We didn’t part on the best of terms. Hell, we didn’t even meet today on the best of terms. I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that things seem a bit better now, but as a mage, you will be working with me fairly often. Are you alright with that?”

Essylt looks away at the same patch of floor for a few seconds before answering. “I have been pondering that as well. I am not entirely sure if I ever really, genuinely, hated you. I think maybe I did at one point, but I think that more or less arose from fear. I hated you because I was afraid of you.”

“I suppose I can see why that might be.”

“I would hope so,” replies Essylt, “because otherwise you would have to be irredeemably dense. I think I still am a little frightened of you. Not as much as I once was, but even now…”

“Despite the fact I’ve got my mother knitting?”

Essylt smiles slightly. “That certainly helped, yes.”

“Very well,” I reply, standing up. “I need to get going, but we’ll be back in contact with you with our final decision, sound good?”

Essylt rises to her feet. “That is acceptable, Enforcer.”

“Alright, well then, later.”

“Good day.”

And with that, I take my leave of the hardware store and the elfin druid.
>>
“So,” says LT, spinning around in her chair idly. You can always tell when LT is getting tired or bored because she’ll twirl around in her chair. We tried using a non-swivel chair, but that just seemed to stress her out. “You’ve spoken to all three candidates I presume?”

“Yeah,” I reply, speaking around a mouthful of meatball sub. LT’s own turkey sub is sitting on her desk, half eaten. I can reasonably expect to get the rest of it. “All three. Frankly, the elf seems to be the least… eccentric. Hardek seems like a weeaboo shut in and I’m pretty sure Bolten is living on his parent’s dime.”

“Oh great, two people who haven’t managed to sever the umbilical chord yet.”

“Well, to be fair to Hardek, I don’t think the job market is all that great for Dwarven aerothurges.”

“You’re defending the weeaboo shut in? I’m surprised Jason. Do you think he has potential?”

“He seems to have a good potential utility role, and from the looks of things he can take orders, which was always a problem with Gorgorgux.”

“True enough. So which one would you recommend to me?”

>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>Bolten. He seems like a Gorgorgux 2.0 albeit slightly smarter. He’d be good for blunt work.
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
>Write in
>>
1st Dwarf
2nd Elf
3rd Molten
>>
>>40749164
>>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
Hardek can help the mundanes immensely, Essylt can help out in the thick of things with some prep work and knows her way around the scene
>>
>>40749164
>>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
Fo sho
>>
>>40749164
>>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.

whynotboth.png
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
We can also pay him minimum wage.
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
She's going to get back into things one way or another, better have her on our side than against us again.
>>
>>40749164
>>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
but priority to Hardek, no contest.
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.

>>40749215
Cause she asked for ONE for now.
>>
>>40749164
>>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
then
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
then
>Bolten. He seems like a Gorgorgux 2.0 albeit slightly smarter. He’d be good for blunt work.

in order of priority.
>>
File: lelf returns.png (6.14 MB, 1836x3264)
6.14 MB
6.14 MB PNG
>>40749164
>Essylt. She’s improved by a huge margin since last we crossed paths, and she already has experience doing syndicate work.
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.

Wouldn't it be best to have both a utility and combat mage, even if we snag the elf for regular employment.

>>40749230
Yeah, have Hardek as the main, and Elf on the side.

>Also no one wants Bolten
Good
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek. An obedient mage is a rare thing indeed. Let’s snap him up while we can.
>>
ELF PRIDE
>>
>>40749164
>Hardek
>Essylt
Hardek's price is just getting out of the house, we pay him minimal amounts, keep him looked after and he's happy, Essy is stable, relatively sane, and she'll be working in this industry whether its for us or not, so why not have her on our side of the fence.

>>40749230
>Cause she asked for ONE for now.
and Hardek comes pretty much for free, we can get two for effectively the price of one, and we're hurting for magical support, we have ONE mage in our entire chapter of LL
>>
>>40749164
Hire all 3. They have completely different complimentary skillsets.
>>
“Frankly, I think we can discount Molten Bolten entirely. If we really want to cause a ruckus we can always just use gasoline and some explosives, which isn’t about to get the Aethralion sniffing up our asses for illegal magic use.”

LT nods, ceasing her spinning. “Yes, I suppose it would be nice to maintain a low profile. It might be advantageous for the other gangs and LL Lieutenants to think we still lack one. They might not be careful enough when they move against us.”

Tacitly ignoring the fact that LT included fellow LL associates as potential enemies I continue, “Yeah, Molten Bolten’s style doesn't exactly scream low profile.”

“So then, what of the other two?”

“Unlike Bolten, I don’t want to rule either of the other two out entirely. Hardek seems to have a lot of utility abilities such as summoning and tracking spells, to name only a few, and those sorts of subtle spells could very easily be used to our advantage for a long time without people realizing we had a mage on retainer.

“On the other hand, by his own admission he’s useless in combat situations, which means that he can’t exactly be our ace either, to bring a little surprise firepower to a negotiation or job. In that regard, Essylt might be the better option. She managed to pin me with a vine attack when I met with her for today. It was a surprise attack, but it shows she does have some combat ability. Essylt also brings some previous experience doing syndicate work, which will almost certainly prove useful.”

“And our history with her won’t be an issue?”
>>
I’m slightly surprised LT remembered. “Honestly, I think it could be a minor problem, but I don’t think it will be nearly as much of a stumbling block as I initially anticipated.”

LT nods. “Very well then. Which would you suggest over the other?”

“Not an easy call. Probably Hardek, if only because as a utility mage we can keep him a secret for a long time, and he seems to be the most obedient. Essylt would be a very close second, simply because she also has some utility spells, not as many as Hardek, as well as some ability for battle magic.”

“And you’re sure Hardek would be useless in combat?”

I shrug. “Aerothurgy isn’t exactly known for obliterating people. Besides, I doubt he’s got the right mindset for violent work. Probably risks a panic attack just by going outside.”

“Very well then. Perhaps we take Hardek on full time, and offer Essylt a… consultant… position?”

“Sounds solid to me boss.”

“Very well, thank you for your time.”

“No problem,” I reply, turning around to leave. My hand is on the doorknob before I hear LT speak again.

“And Jason! It’s good to have you back.”

I grin back at LT over my shoulder. “Good to be back boss.”

>>><<<

Alright, that's all for now everybody! Didn't get to say so last thread due to crashing rght after it ended, but it's great to be back!

Also straw poll. Favoritest characters from the Reinhardt and Jensen storylines. I'd like to see who is popular amongst the players.
>>
>>40749582
Thanks for the run boss.
>>
>>40749582
It's good to have you back, mate. I'm really digging the story.

When are we going to be getting a Jensen perspective, by the way?
>>
>>40749582
OI

WE WERE GOING TO ASK LT OUT FOR DRINKS BECAUSE YA FORGOT YA GIT!

Thanks for running SG/FG/MG/UG
>>
>>40749582
Where's the poll, boss :V
You said there'd be a poll
>>
>>40749616
Probably the next thread (announced on twitter so look there). I mostly just wanted something light and fun to ease people back into the swing of things.
>>
>>40749632
Oh, nothing like the strawpoll website. Just respond with preferences.
>>
>>40749670
Wow you actually expect me to remember all these people?
LT and the half-orc
>>
>>40749670
Oh.
In that case on Reinhardt's side
LT and Brutus

and Jensen's
The Cpt and the Half Orc partner, Ritter I think?
>>
>>40749582
LT. Reinhardt's mom.

Jensen hasn't had much screentime yet, so I can't decide if I like her boss. The mad scientist guy who implanted the symbiote was pretty funny, too.
>>
>>40749670
I really like Danzig, as much as everybody else seems to hate him. Talking with Uncle Frank is also something I really enjoy. Jason and Vikkie (LT) interactions are usually pretty enjoyable as well.

I'm waiting for more Jensen character to be introduced, as Danzig and the half-orc cop are really the only ones I remember from her side.
>>
>>40749670
Brutus is cool, we need to go drinking with him and LT. Lt would have to be my fave side character for Jason.
>>
>>40749757
Oh yeah the mad scientist was alright.
>>
>>40749708
I have faith in you anon
>>
>>40749853
Results what you expected UG?
>>
>>40750172
Eh pretty much.
>>
>>40745017
>Bolten shoos her downstairs.
>her
>no 'them'
There is being a criminal and then there is just being crass.



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