Welcome back to Blackguard Quest Ladies and Gentlemen!
>Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Blackguard%20Quest
>Twitter: https://twitter.com/
Rules!
Current rules! note that some of these are subject to change, especially the dice. cause fuck /tg/ dice.
>10 minute voting period, may be extended in case of clever write-ins
>Write-ins are ALWAYS a valid options I don't care if you're just going to sleep, if you have a write-in, you can vote for it.
>Try not to bitch at people for namefaggin. I'll restrict it if it becomes a problem but right now I don't care.
>d100 for dice rolls unless told otherwise, counting the first three.
And this time I have something new for you, a character sheet!
>http://pastebin.com/3jTeSSFB

>>40641779
>>Explain everything, about how the elders were lying thieves and cowards, and the lady abandoned you and your friend.
You are too mad about the situation to 'spare' the kid your tirade.

>>40641779

>Offer some other excuse

Phrase it very simply.

"She has abandoned us. Come with me if you want to live."

Also fuck yes Blackguard quest.

>>40641808
Ah shit I forgot to add vampiric touch to your spells list
I'm gonna go fix that real quick.

>>40641868
Fixed it!
Your character sheet has been updated to include your new spell
>Vampiric Touch: Grasp hold of an enemy and begin draining his life, for every one point of mana you spend, you steal one HP from him.
If you haven't read the sheet already I suggest that you do, it more accurately and thoroughly explains what spells/abilities/feats you have and what they all do.

>>40641825
>>40641842
sooo. I guess this is what I get for starting earlier than I said I would huh? I need some sort of consensus to write this next bit guys.

>>40641952

How about a middle ground between >>40641825
and >>40641842

Maybe mention the lady abandoning you, ask the novice if he can still feel her presence, and explain that our friend is wounded out in the yard and you need the boy's help getting him atop a horse.

>>40641779
>Offer some other excuse (what)
This is a method to gains the ladies power for what needs to be done it should only be done in emergencies.

>>40641991

Lol, roll a bluff check?

I think this is awesome actually, changing my vote to this.

>>40641981
yeah this kid isn't an initiate by the way, he never was actually trained to detect the lady's presence. from the looks of him he was an errand boy.
I'll give it five more minutes then start writing a compromise for these two
>>40641842
>>40641825

>>40641779
>>40641952
Well I'm not going to help, because I write-in:
>Explain, but not in full. There's no time!
Which is kind of like >>40641842, now I think of it.

Is Vampiric Touch subject to the bag-of-rats rule? Could we use it on, let's say, a horse in order to regain hit points?

>>40641991
>>40642007
If you want to try it, it's gonna be a pretty high DC.
>>40642017
you can use it on animals, but it's only half as effective, so for every point of mana you gain .5 HP

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>>40642007
Gee anon, that sure would be a lot more convincing if you could tell us which vote was yours.

>>40642017

I'm going to say no. Unless canon vampires in this setting can circumvent the whole "I need to kill innocent people to live" clause to their immortality, and just run around the countryside slaughtering horses.

>>40642017
>Explain, but not in full. There's no time!

This works for me. Maybe save the bit about the elders floating away on a boat filled with gold for once we get on the bandit's trail. We've got a mute grill to save.

>>40642045
I made the suggestion that was another Annon since I'm too jacked up on epinephrine to type well right now.

>>40642040
What I meant was more like, do actually have to use it on an 'enemy' per se? Or are we fine as long as it's something with hit points to steal?

>>40641842
Secondat this

>>40642091

I think a reasonable caveat is that it has to be used against living, humanoid targets.

>>40642052
Vampiric touch is just the spells name, it isn't actually related to a vampire, you basically leach the targets life to replenish your own, the reason it's less effective on animals is that their lifeforce is significantly different from your own, it only works full-power on sentient beings.
>>40642091
you can use it on anything, but I should point out that it causes pain, so you can't really use it stealthily.

>>40642107
and yeah it won't do anything against undead.

>>40641842
Just woke up, I vote this.

>>40642108
>>40642120
Alright, thanks. Nice to have that cleared up, so we don't trip over ourselves in the future.

And we learned that we can use it to torture people as well!

>>40641842
>>40642099
>>40642132

Consensus then?

>>40642120
As a follower of whatshername, would uncontrolled undead actually attack us?

>>40642152
Yeap

>>40641842
>>40642099
>>40642132
I'm just gonna go ahead and start writing for this since it's the only real consensus I see.
>>40642161
at your current level? yes. that can change later on though.

>>40642145
Torture would be a waste of mana, when we can just buy some thumbscrews and a rack.

>>40642173
let's see, this kid isn't actually an initiate, but he grew up his whole life believing in this stuff, but you ARE an initiate, but he's still pretty young... but everyone else is dead. yeah I think that works out to a positive modifier.
Give me 1d100+10

Rolled 27 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40642200

Rollan for kid to become Ergon's waterboy.

Rolled 70 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40642200
Yo

Rolled 77 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40642200

Rolled 36 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40642200

>>40642234
Not bad at all.

>>40642234
87. you have passed the DC. writing

>>40641779
You don't have time to explain all this dammit, jasmine is in danger! Still, you can't just leave the boy in this wretched place. "The Lady has abandoned us!" you snarl, unable to keep the disgust from your voice, "She has left us all to die at the hands of these wretched bandits, everyone here is dead Karin, you're only chance is to come with me." You turn, and march towards the door, for a second, you think he isn't going to follow you, and then you hear his footfalls on the stone behind you, rushing to catch up. You exit the chapel, and make your way over to where Ergon is waiting with the horses, he seems to be doing a little better than he was earlier, and when he speaks to you he doesn't have to catch his breath, he's still less talkative than he normally is though.
>Ergon has regained stamina, his stamina is now 5/20
"Hey, Avitus, what's with the terrified kid? we taking him with us or did you need emergency rations?" Well at least he's joking again, he must be recovering better than you thought. Ergon has his left side facing you, and the kid hasn't seen his arm yet.
>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon
>You don't have time for this, just throw the kid up to him and get moving.
>other

>>40642442
>>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon

>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon

>>40642442
>>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon

>>40642442

>"He's coming with us. Karin, Ergon sustained some wounds. You're to keep him sitting upright on that horse. Let's move out."

>>40642442

"He's coming with us! He deserves a chance at those bandits too!"

>>40642442
>You don't have time for this, just throw the kid up to him and get moving.
Say nothing

>>40642442
>>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon

>>40642442
>"He's coming with us, and I'm not waiting for him to keep up." *Hoist Karin onto the horse with Ergon

>>40642476
Changing this
To this >>40642509

>>40642550
>>40642539
>>40642508
writing for this, i'll throw in
>>40642509
as well.

>>40642442
"I found him in the cathedral, I think he's the only one left alive, he's coming with us and I'm not waiting for him to catch up." you grab karin under the arms and he flinches away from your touch for a second, but you're much stronger than he is, and you heave him up onto the horse. Karin let's out an odlly high-pitched squeal, and- oh. right. Ergon's arm. shit. "Listen, Karin, Ergon was VERY badly injured in the fighting, I managed to save him, but it did something to him, he won't hurt you. He's still exhausted, and it's your job to make sure he stays on that horse, okay?" without waiting for an answer you walk around to the front of the horse and seize the bridle, if you're going to have any hope of finding those bandits before the sun goes down, you need to start out now.
>Avoid the village, it'll add some time to your trip, but you don't want to see if your nightmare was right
>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.

>>40642728

>Go straight through

I'm still not a fan of waifu-ing the qt mutey, but I'd rather her not be brutally gangraped. Let's make haste.

>>40642728
>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.

>>40642728
>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.

>>40642754
>>40642784
Yess yesss let the anger grow, let the hatred blossom inside you

>>40642728
>>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.


go through hell before you get to heaven

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzGHzitfnAY

>>40642728
>>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.

>>40642728
>Go straight through the village, you need all the time you can get and you've already seen more than your share of death.

Let it harden your resolve.

>>40642851
>>40642812
>>40642784
>>40642771
>>40642754

The kid is going to freak out, which I can only see as being a good thing.

If he gets over it quick, he might be worth keeping around as a protege/steward. If he's a little bitch about it, we can figure out somewhere to ditch him so he doesn't slow us down.

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Personally, if we manage to get Jasmine on our side, when we fast forward to our current, ultra jaded self, I want her to end up being the most blunt, potentially aggressive member of team evil. She can't express her distaste in witty banter or snide comments, so it has to come out through action! Which may include simply stabbing!

>>40642870
>>40642851
>>40642835
>>40642784
>>40642771
>>40642754
Why did I even make this a choice?
writing

I say we become Conan style black guards. Since the order was all about poverty and was a lie we should bling ourselves out and try to conquer and establish the richest kingdom ever.

Karin
>female name
>high-pitched squeal

Trap Arya Stark?

>>40642903

Because you're a good QM who is taking steps to ensure he doesn't accidentally railroad his players into a pre-set course of action.

Was our response predictable? Yes. Was your making it an option much appreciated? Absolutely.

>>40642897

I think QM mentioned that getting Jasmine to join up with us would take a lot of work and a series of absolutely stellar rolls. I honestly think she might be a recurring antagonist for us.

Which, if you nerds are still set on making her our best waifu, would actually be a pretty cool plotline. We keep bashing heads in good vs evil scenarios and always let her escape defeat by the skin of her teeth, until she realizes we've been letting her live all along...

>>40642954
I'm fine with waifuying her only if it takes a ton of threads to make it happen. Like 8-10+

>>40642897
that's not really an accurate picture, but whatever.
anyway, writing
>>40642923
well you ARE a servant of Tilarn

>>40642954
Yeah, just an "If".
>>40642993
And yeah, I know, Just sort of a, 'What feel I'd personally like out of her if she joins us' picture. Pay it no real mind.

>>40642954
Gotta admit I would not rly mind jasmine dining, the only reason I'm voting for GOTTA RESQU ! Is coz its in character

>>40643057
Yeah, I don't mind if she grabs a bite to eat either.

>>40643057

We never said we'd starve the girl, anon. That's just cruel.

>>40643057
Was that 'Jasmine dining' or 'Jasmine-dining'? Because I'd totally eat her if you know what I mean. I'm kinda hungry at the moment.

>>40643154
Yeah, I'm sure she's got more meat on her bones than the kid, if you know what I mean.
Perfect for roasting.

Or maybe even a nicely braised thigh.

>>40643085
>>40643097
>>40643154
God damn it guys ... You know what I mean.....

>>40643194

I can just imagine the horror that all of the "Jasmine best waifu" players feel when they come back to us roasting her on a spit, with Ergon in control of the seasoning.

>>40642728
For a brief second, you consider going around the village, but it's banished from your mind just as quickly, Jasmine might be in serious danger, and you would walk through HELL if it meant saving your friends.

After several hours of walking, your really damn glad for your endurance training, there's no way in hell you'd be able to keep up this pace otherwise.
>Avitus stamina is now 13/15
On the bright side, Ergon seems to be doing better.
>Ergon's stamina is now 12/20

The village is... it's a ruin. the houses are burned out and collapsed, corpses line the streets, and the dirt is stained copper with dried blood, the smell is overpowering, they must have been lying here in the sun for several hours.

You can hear Karin gagging behind you, surprisingly, he doesn't throw up, he recovers remarkably quickly, and by the time you reach the other end of the village, he seems over it, if a bit shaken.

Then again he probably did watch the initiates get killed. Ergon just seems sad, thoughtful, really. then again he's probably killed only a few less people than you at this point.
cont.

>>40643217
Top kek

>>40643217
That would be terrible! We don't even know what the condition of his taste buds are now that he's a revenant!

>>40643217
I'm >>40643194

I was also the first guy to suggest that jasmine is best waifu.

>>40643217
I'd spitroast her with Ergon, if you know what I mean. Really quite hungry right now. Sorry.

>>40643262

So I take it you'd vote no for any cannibalism regarding her?

Damn shame.

>>40643262
Well a bit of self irony is healthy

>>40643275
At what point did I give that impression?
I'm a huge vorefag.

look, guys? please stop discussing cannibalism. I've got a weak stomach, and I can't write if you make me throw up.

>>40643262

If by "waifuing", you actually mean "transforming into a slavedriving murder machine", then I will back this.

Harem Paladin Quest is not this quest, btw. Check your waifuism at the door plz

>>40643317
So eating jasmine is defenetly of the board ?

>>40643317
Not even a little cat-nippleism?

>>40643346
yes. I will write many things, but I won't write that.

>>40643317
>>40643346
I thought they were sexual innuendos for sex acts in the guise of eating her?

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>>40643317

We're not actually going to make you write a scene where we eat our waifu.

God, man. Have a little faith in us.

>>40643368
Nah, they were cannibalistic innuendos in the guise of sex acts.

>>40643218
You've been walking for several hours now, and it's starting to get dark, you're pretty tired at this point, but still in good shape all things considered
>Avitus stamina is now 10/15
Ergon seems to be almost completely recovered at this point, he could likely handle himself in a fight now.
>Ergon's stamina is now 15/20
You're into the woods now, and the tracks are getting harder to see in the dimming light, still, the bandits must be camped somewhere nearby, you doubt they'd push on after nightfall, you think you can hear something, but you aren't sure
roll me 1d100+10

>>40643354
Admittedly, you did make an 'emergency rations' joke earlier, which gave the impression that you were fine with a little self-deglutitory humor.

Rolled 61 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427
Seems like all the rolls we're making are getting a bonus of +10 somehow or other.

Rolled 32 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427

Rolled 33 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427

Rolled 81 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427

Rollan for one of the banditos out taking a piss.

Let's relieve him of the need to do such things.

Rolled 14 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427

Rolled 42 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>40643427

>>40643434
good point I guess.
>>40643448
71, writing.

>>40641842
>Come with me if you want to live
ho shit you are doing what i suspected yesterday.

Turning Avitus into an Arnold clone. Shame on you.

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>>40643515

>not wanting to be Arnold.

>>40643427
Straining your ears, you can hear raucous laughing nearby, it sounds like a celebration of some kind. The bandits must have found where the monks kept the ceremonial wine, no doubt their celebrating their victory. wait, if they're celebrating, that must mean... jasmine! You rush ahead, all weariness put out of your thoughts as you lead the horse off the road and into the thin trees nearby, Ergon seems to understand what you're doing, and keeps quite, shifting his sword into position at his hip. Karin is silent, likely surprised or intimidated by the sudden change of mood, and still slightly shaken from what happened at the cathedral and the village. as the noise grows louder, you slow, climbing onto a high rock formation some distance away from a clearing in the woods. In the clearing is a makeshift camp, with a large campfire in the middle, filthy bedrolls splayed at random. A single large tent dominates the far side of the clearing from you, the horses are tied up near the woods nearby. Jasmine is sitting near the tent with her hands and feet tied, a fresh bruise blooming on one of arms like a hideous purple-green flower, but she looks otherwise untouched. There are 9 bandits, sitting around the clearing, at random, and a large wine cask set nearby. You notice that Ergon has quietly drawn next to you, and the kid and horse are nowhere to be seen, giving Ergon a questioning look, her jerks his thumb in the direction of the road. Ah, he's having the kid wait outside of range of the fight.
One of the bandits stands up, dramatically saying something you can't hear, and begins to swagger over to Jasmine.
Bastard!

Choices Incoming.

>>40643780

>rush the camp, you can probably catch them by surprise and kill one or two of them before they have their weapons ready, but they're to spread out get many of them that way, and jasmine is on the opposite side of the camp from you.

>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.

>You could shoot at the bandit walking towards Jasmine with your crossbow, but it'll take more time to load, and who knows what will have happened by then.

>other

>>40643802

>other

>Captain America the stupid fuck walking towards Jasmine. Then rush the camp, screaming bloody murder.

>>40643817
I should point out that your shield throw is still unreliable, at this range your not very likely to hit, you need more practice.

>>40643802
>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.

Question! Is dark lance noticeable? Or will this be a silent death?

>write in
Pass Ergon the crossbow and bolts, he had the same training as you.

Since he's still not back at 100% wellness he can cover us from the rear, and charge in if we need him.

>>40643802
>>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.

>>40643844

I'm honestly still in favor of it. Toss the shield, then rush with the battle axe.

>>40643849

Along with handing Ergon the crossbow.

>>40643868
>Toss the shield
or pass it to Ergon if he doesn't have one / didnt bring one / can't use his fancy new arm as one.

>>40643849
It's not loud, but the rest of the camp is looking at him and jeering, basically what they'll see is a spear of black magic suddenly materialize in their friends head.

>>40643802
>other
Shield Throw, followed by charge with the twohander. Get Ergon to ranged support.

Even if the throw fails, it should cause some distraction at the least, and we may need the mana later, so I'm against dark lance.

Keep in mind, If we use shield toss we're down to like, 5 stamina.

>>40643886

I don't think any of us exactly know what he can and can't do with his demon hand.

>>40643895

This was my line of thinking as well. The shield toss might not have a high chance of working, but unless we crit fail and throw it at Karin it won't do us any harm. Plus, I've wanted to use that axe for a while.

>>40643802
>>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.

>>40643802
> Dark lance his shit
I this is the obviously stupid choice wasting mana like that, but it is in character, no one can touch jasmine, + rule of cool

>>40643802
Hand Ergon the bolts and such so he can snipe, we lance the guy heading towards mutey and rush in with shield and hammer since we are outnumbered.

Also can we drain life with our hands full?

>>40643906
yeah, if none of you checked the char. sheet, shield toss drains 5 stamina.

>>40643802
I say just charge the cunt, while screaming "That's my friend"

>>40643802

>move quickly and quietly to opposite sides of the camp with Ervin and strike fast and hard

Ergon is some kind of creepy undead now and should be a great scare factor. If we both kill two guys apiece then it's only 3v5, assuming that we free Jasmine in the process.

>>40643932
the rest of the bandits are between you and him.
>>40643935
the clearing is pretty large, it'll take you some time to circle it.

>>40643935
And assuming that she dose not freak out

>>40643931

We should tally votes for shield toss versus dark lance, since it seems to be split.

>Shield toss

Sure would be nice if we still had that horse right around now.

>>40643802
How does mana regen btw? Since we have the death god as patron does killing bandits count as prayer?

>>40643802
>>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.

>>40643959

None of our weapons (great-axe, warhammer) are exactly viable from atop a mount.

>>40643802
Voting Shield Toss so Jasmine doesn't freak out over HOLY SHIT NECROMANCY

>>40643961
Either way I want to save some mana so we can leech life. We may need it.

>>40643977
>>40643982

I think both of these anons' reasoning is sound.

>>40643802
>other

Channel our energies via the ring into our dark lance attack, empower it with drain life.

Scream to draw all attention to yourself and from Ergon:

"THAT'S MY MINION! ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO CORRUPT MY MINIONS!"

Don't fully murder the bandits, leave them barely alive and then sacrifice them to our patron gods. 3 for Tilarn / 3 for Krona / 3 for the ring.

>>40644022
Yeeeeah.... I don't see jasmine being happy with that just yet

>>40643974
Yeah, but it would get us across the camp in a heartbeat.

Also, the great-axe apparently has reach, so it MIGHT be somewhat viable.

>>40643977

Shield toss would be very high DC and also drain a shitload of stamina. Its a terrible strategic choice.

It would be better to just charge in there with Ergon.

We should...

1. Have Ergon creep around the side of the camp ASAP to rescue Jasmine.
2. At the same time, we sprint down to the camp and start murdering. We can maybe survive long enough for Ervin and Jasmine to start killing people from the rear.

shield toss
>>40643817
>>40643886
>>40643895
>>40643956
>>40643977
Dark Lance
>>40643867
>>40643849
>>40643918
>>40643919
>>40643964
Dark lance and rush
>>40643927
other
>>40644022
>>40643935
>>40643932


>>40644022
You still aren't quite sure what the fuck is up with the ring by the way.
>>40643961
At your current level, no. you have to pray for an extended amount of time.

>>40643802
>THAT BASTARD DIES NOW! Throw a dark lance at the bandit approaching jasmine. 5 mana.
And give crossbow to Ergon.

>>40644047

Way too heavy. We'd get carried off our horse by the momentum of swinging the thing.

>>40644053
I am with you.

Honestly, general consensus appears to be
>Dark lance that fuck
>Give the crossbow to Ergon so he can get off a shot or two
>Charge in with hammer or double-axe and MURDER EVERYTHING!

>>40644053
It more or less comes down to this:

Are we willing to face ridiculously high rolls to have a chance at converting Jasmine to our cause?

Dark Lance is the more tactically sound choice, however it all but guarantees Jasmine will be opposed to us.

Charge is tactically poor, and will leave us unable to help Jasmine as we fight our way across the camp.

Shield Throw is a difficult roll to make, but removes Jasmine from immediate danger if we succeed.

>>40644095
Sounds good.

>>40644104
To continue, what we SHOULD do is pick a third option:
Get Ergon to run in and distract all of them, and shoot anyone close to Jasmine with our crossbow.
While he does this, we Solid Snake our way over and rescue Jasmine.

>>40644095

Fine.

But as soon as we get some free time to train, we're chucking that shield at trees until we've perfected it.

Because I am way too aroused by the idea of an evil Cap.

Also:

>Charge with double-axe

I want to turn some people into pieces of people.

>>40644104
Keep in mind, you've NEVER actually heard of a blackguard before, there's a pretty decent chance Jasmine won't recognize your spell as being negative energy magic.

>>40644095
If we're doing dark lance, I would send Ergon in instead, so it looks like he cast the dark lance. Would be more terrifying.

>>40644104
>>40644104
>however it all but guarantees Jasmine will be opposed to us.

What? How's that exactly supposed to guarantee that? If anything we'd come away even between the rescuing and the /possibly/ evil magic. Also we got Ergon on our side to help explain things.

Just uh, hide that arm for a bit bruh.

>>40644129
It'll help if you get a shield that was actually designed to be thrown. right now you have a kite shield and you just got lucky as fuck the last time you tried this. and your target wasnt very far from you.

>>40644165

Who says I can't nat 20 on shield toss rolls every time?

Anyway, we charging.

>>40644095
anyway, I need you guys to vote.
Are you charging with
>hammer
or
>axe

>>40644209
axe

>>40644209

>AXE

>>40644209
axe

>>40644209
axe
fuck defense, we killing shit

>>40644209
>axe

>>40644209
keep in mind, axe deals more damage, but you won't have your shield, and it'll be really damn to switch to the shield in the middle of the fight

>>40644236

Shield is worthless if we cannot hurl it at someone's face.

>axe

>>40644236
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD !
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE !

>>40644247
We can block an attack AND deal damage with a shield bash, but everyone's going for running in and swinging so...

>Axe

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>>40643802
Alright, writing for
>Give the crossbow to Ergon so he can get off a shot or two
>Dark lance that fuck
>Charge in with with your double-axe and paint the clearing red.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>40644335
Rolling for battlecry.

>>40644335
Give me 2d100+10

Rolled 30, 71 + 10 = 111 (2d100 + 10)

>>40644345

Rolled 2, 51 + 10 = 63 (2d100 + 10)

>>40644345

Rolled 6, 27 + 10 = 43 (2d100 + 10)

>>40644345

Rolled 1, 96 = 97 (2d100)

>>40644345

Rolled 99, 56 + 10 = 165 (2d100 + 10)

>>40644345

>>40644358
>>40644364
>>40644367
wow we fucking suck

>>40644372
>>40644375
Jesus Christo

>>40644358
>>40644364
>>40644367
Think our dark lance missed.

>>40644358
hmm. with the bonus, that just barely makes it. that was a close one.
writing

>>40644382
81 isn't bad... At least we missed the nat 1?

>>40644391
WOOOOOOO!

>>40643802
Alright. It's clear now. You know what you're doing. you stand, a red haze filling your vision as you pass your crossbow and bolts to Ergon, out of the corner of you eye you can see him loading the weapon. And then your vision tunnels, all you can see is that swaggering bastard. Your right arm comes up, and you begin to weave the magic for your holy lance. The magic is... different though. Your holy lance was created out of a sense of justice, light. This, this is hatred. Pure unmitigated hatred, as the energy of the two gods fight each other as you bind them together, for a moment, you think you're going to lose your control, and then you tighten your grip, and a shimmering spear of black light forms in the air above your palm, casting your hand forward, the spear flies, quicker as an arrow from a bowstring, the bandit stops dead, as the light sinks into him, ripping through his chest in a spray of red before vanishing. he falls to the ground dead, and his companions scrabble to their feet in alarm. they're to late. as soon as you let the dark lance fly, you dropped your shield, unslinging the great double-headed axe from your back, you charge. two of their number die by your blade before they even realize what's happening, their heads separated from their shoulders as your steel sends them to your new patron. a third turns, only to fall backwards as a crossbow bolt imbeds itself in his eye. heh. good old Ergon.
The remaining six bandits are on their feet now, spread out across the clearing in a semi-circle in front of you, and they have their weapons in their hands two of them are armed with swords, one has a mace and shield, the fourth is clasping a spear, the fifth is clutching a wicked pair of daggers, and the sixth has a wicked looking hooked blade, about the length of your axe. You hear the sound of movement from inside the tent.
>What do you do?

>>40644634

>Let loose a blood-curdling howl of rage
>Start separating their limbs from their torsos.

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>>40644634
The last bandit is basically holding a two-handed version of this picture by the way.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>40644634
Only one way to succeed.

Rolling to seduce!

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>>40644685

>>40644685
not even if that was a nat 100.

>>40644675
Giant kukri?
That's impressive.

If a little unwieldy.

>>40644634
Kill them all.

>>40644634

>Let loose a bloodcurdling war cry.
>Sprint to Jasmine.

Lets dodge these guys entirely and free Jasmine. We need another fighter and Jasmine is a better fighter than Ergon.

If we're lucky, Ergon will peg one or two with his crossbow.

>>40644634
>Start killing, try to manoeuvre so Ergon can pick some off, kill swordsmen first

>>40644670
>Second
there is only one way left now

>>40644766

So they're just going to stand there in shock while we drop our axe and undo her ropes?

Uh. How about we just murder them in the face?

>>40644634
here you said:
>>40643780
> There are 9 bandits, sitting around the clearing
We killed 4, so there should be only 5 remaining no?

That aside, just charge the nearest one.

>>40644670
Third

>>40644766
Jasmine is unarmed. and the crossbow DOES take some time to reload.
>>40644789
>>40644670
in what order?
>>40644755
it's a falcata.
>>40644800
shit. miscounted. just assume you couldn't see one from where you were.

>>40644815
basically if ergon doesnt move he can reload and fire once every round.

>>40644634
None of their weapons have as much reach as our axe. Keep them back with that.

Keep moving, so they can't circle us. Keep them in otherwise open terrain, so we can use our axe to its full extent, and so that we can yield ground to keep them at range.

Get mad. Look mad. We're a crazed axeman who just jumped them from nowhere right after one of their guys died to some strange magic. Use their fear to keep them off-balance.

Keep in mind where Ergon is. Don't get in the way of his shots.

>>40644815
>in what order?

In exactly the order I stated. We aren't exactly losing the element of surprise.

>Roar so loud our new patrons can hear them from the nonphysical plane
>Start decapitating. I say we take out the guy with the daggers first because if he gets too close to us we're going to get shanked.

>>40644840
This.

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>40644840
given how this guy has an actual plan, I'm goin with this. give me 1d100+5

Rolled 39 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868
Can we use your roll?

Rolled 69 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868

Rolled 89 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868

Rolled 81 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868

Dear lord, can we just take your roll?

Rolled 93 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868
Is that Ergon's shot?
Cause damn.

Rolled 59 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868
heres to hoping that was for ergon

Rolled 15 (1d80)

>>40644868
damn. Ergon knows his way around a crossbow.

Rolled 99 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644868
We're fucked.

>>40644868
please tell me that was for ergon...

>>40644878
nice

>>40644887
damn you missed the cutoff!

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>>40644892
>Rolled 99 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40644872
>>40644883
Nope.
It was improperly formatted.

>>40644868
okay, Ergon's a crack shot,
>>40644878
Your no slouch with your axe,
>>40644890
aaaand the bandit's are apparently drunk.
writing

>>40644892

Please tell me this roll kills them so hard we can eat their souls afterwards.

>>40644907
Eh, only 4% better than what we got.

>>40644931
it was the seventh roll anon. I'm not THAT based.

>>40644924
Well, they were celebrating when we got in.

>>40644931
Nah, man, we gotta dry em and use em as trail rations.

>>40644840
Using brains is like cheating !

>>40644956

It's not your fault. But I'm still going to shed manly tears at wasted epic crit.

>>40644968
Sorry, anon. I won't waste time writing shit in future.

>>40644989
Always write shit.
Especially with a negative attitude.

Humility pleases the dice gods.

>>40645008
I also rolled to seduce, so apparently the dice gods like seducing men as well.

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>>40645036

They work in mysterious ways, anon....

>>40644634
Just some criticism, a bit more spacing would make your posts easier to read

>>40644924
>Just raided this corrupt paladin order with my adventuring party.
>Kids there indoctrinated so hard, they're even attacking us with their bare hands - killing them would be a mercy.
>Huh, this lady here seems to actually have a good head on her shoulders. She could probably make it in an actual non-shitty order. She's bleeding pretty badly from when she tried to fight back though. Best take her to a healer.
>Sharing their booze around the campfire later that night. It's not like anyone else is going to use it.
>Suddenly Bob falls over dead three feet away
>What
>Mad axeman leaps out of the bushes at us
>WHAT
>Drunk off my ass, draw my sword, but it flies out of my sweaty palms
>Trip over my own feet
>Break nose on ground, almost fucking piss myself in fright
>Wait, shit, I did fucking piss myself
>FUCK
>Axeman looming over me
>Well, at least I won't have a headache in the morning

>>40645071
You have a point

>>40644634
You dash off to one side, there's no way your letting them surround you, as you move, you hear a loud *SMACK!* and the bandit with the notched sword goes down with a bolt in his throat.

The bandit with the daggers lunges at you, trying to get inside your range, but he must've had to much to drink, and his footing is awkward, you plant your axe in his forehead, pulling it out with a wet sucking sound,one of the swordsman tries to charge you, but he's your no longer between the rock and the circle, and Ergon's reloaded.

Another loud *SMACK!* turns his charge into a stumble, and he lands facedown in the dirt with the feathered head of a quarrel sticking out from under his arm, suddenly, the tent flap flies open.
cont.
>>40645071
Yeah I know, I'm trying to work on it but it's hard to get a good feel for what it's going to come out looking like. I could just start a new line after every sentence I suppose

>>40645095
>Well, at least I won't have a headache in the morning
Well, he will pretty soon.
A splitting headache, even.

>>40645138

This post is spaced finely. Just use this as a template.

>>40645095

I swear to god DM is just fucking with me, three re-rolled characters already. Some crazy dark-magic antipaladin with a massive axe kills most of the party screaming shit about vengeance, retribution, and negative energy? Srsly fuck DMs like this, fucking railroading shitters. I'm taking my dice and going home.

>>40645186
The DM only did that because y'all were about to go full magical realm on the captive

>>40645225
That wasn't even me! That was fucking Bill! We've been telling him to stop whipping out his shitty self-insert's dick at anything with less balls than legs, but does he ever fucking listen?

>>40645225
Oh, come on.
That's just Tim. We all have to put up with his bullshit.
Doesn't mean he has to wipe the whole fucking party!

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>>40645138
Out of the tent strides a wall of muscle, a huge man with scar running down the side of his face strides out, carrying a massive club, with cruel iron nails driven through it.

"WOT THA FOCK IS MAKIN ALL OF DAT NOISE!!!" he bellows as he emerges, his eyes cast around the clearing and he sees you standing there, your axe-head covered in blood and the bodies of the bandits laying at your feet.

His face grows bright red, and he hefts his club, roaring, "YOU COCKSUCKIN WANKA! OIM GONNA KILL YEW! TEACH YOU A LESSIN JUST LOIKE i DID THAT BITCH!"

Oh, so he's the one that gave Jasmine that bruise. well. that makes this easier.

THE FIRST BOSS FIGHT HAS BEGUN MOTHAFUCKERS!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=solc9YG5bb8
>Scarface Udo, bandit leader
>HP, 20/20

>How will you fight the giant bandit leader?

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>>40645095

>DM been railroading us with grimderp shit for weeks now
>Just get off slaughtering a gnomish village for like no reason whatsoever
>Mike got rapey with it because he fucking always does that, fuck Mike
>Ask DM if we can do something not totally terrible for once
>He's grumpy at first but he assents
>Party is off to raid some corrupt paladin order
>Get there, kids are so brainwashed they won't stop attacking us, have to put them all to the sword
>feelsbadman.jpg
>There's this mutey qt who's putting up a good fight, though. Seems like she has a good head on her shoulders
>We knock her out and take her away from that evil place
>I thank DM, at least we got a decent ending this time
>We drink to celebrate
>Suddenly he asks for awareness checks
>Wtf?
>Three crit fails and a nat 4
>"Bob, a bolt of negative energy detonates in your chest cavity, roll defense save"
>Another nat one
>Sorry, Bob.
>"A crazed man in scale armor wielding a double axe pops up out of the bushes and starts hacking us to death
>Crossbow bolts find all their marks
>"DM what the fuck?" whole party is riled up now
>"You guys decided to try to 'save the noble grill pally' instead of checking the crypts. One of the initiates at the monastery made a pact with a dark god, turned his friend into some kind of lesser demon, and slaughters all of you
>mfw

>>40645314
How much mana/stamina do we have?

>>40645314
What's the reach of his club like compared to our axe?

>>40645314
Rip and tear?
Yeah, that.

Switch the the shield and hammer, so we can block his (probably devastating) attacks.

>>40645314

Mana/stamina values?

We should probably shoot for a Dark Lance right off the bat.

>>40645314

>Challenge him to an arm wrestling contest
>Vampiric Touch

>>40645338
>mana 10/15
>stamina 10/15
>health 15/15
>>40645346
He's got about a foot of reach on you.

>>40645375

Does Ergon still have his sword?

>>40645391
yeah, he's about to rush up and engage the two bandits so you can focus on the leader.

>>40645368
Maximum Kek.
If we had the mana for it, I'd say do it.

>>40645375
Then we can't play reach games with him like we've been doing the others. We probably need to disarm him or else keep him still for Ergon to shoot. Hopping onto his back and Vampiric Touching him to death might work, since he won't be able to get his club back there, as would Dark Lancing his face off (do we need spare hands for that?) - but those would look questionable in morality at best.

Speaking of the other bandits, how many of them are still up?

>>40645314
Why don't we kill the swordsman and just let Ergon put a bolt through the big guy's chest? Simple.

>>40645413

>Dark Lance

Followed by

>Sweep just above the knees with our axe, try to throw him off his footing.

Dice bonus for rage, since apparently this guy was getting physical with Jasmine? How's she doing, by the way?

>>40645420
technically you suffer no adverse effects from using your mana, and you still have ten left. if you can get in touch range you can drain him for ten if you spend all of your mana
>>40645448
slight out of game knowledge here, but the crossbow does a max of five damage.

>>40645466
Even if it hits him in the head?

>>40645456
She's got a massive bruise but otherwise looks untouched, it looks like you got here before they "did" anything to her. you're to busy killing shit to see what her reaction to all of this is.

>>40645466
>crossbow bolt through the face can't kill this guy
OP PLS NERF

>>40645314
>Dark Lance his arm
disarm him right now, then hack at him with the axe till he drops.

>>40645335
All hail the kek's

>>40645487

That would probably have to be a nat crit

>>40645496

THIS.

>>40645495
It's assumed that the crossbow doesn't hit him in the face. it's to prevent you from one-shotting what is supposed to be your first really challenging opponent.

>>40645496

Supporting.

>>40645494
What's in our immediate surroundings, other than fallen bandits? How close and how large is the campfire? Are there any obstacles we can maneuver him into or trip him over?

>>40645496
backing

>>40645487
Given that people have survived bullets to the head, I'm gonna go with yes.

>>40645496
Backing, and let's disarm him. Literally.

>>40645536
The campfire is about 7 feet behind you, there are a large number of bedrolls scattered about on the ground, with good enough rolls, I would allow it, but he'll likely get several chances to attack you as you try and bait him.

>>40645466
I'm okay with that, oneshoting bosses would be game breaking and it's more fun to take him on our selfs any way

>>40645550
Yes, but here we have a guy who, after some bed rest, takes 3 bullets to the head to kill, fighting someone who takes 4.

>>40645572
Not so much baiting as keeping in mind which way to fall back towards. Quite possibly nothing will come of it, but if he forgets his footing while we keep ours in mind, all the better.

The fire is pretty irrelevant, unless we can get him in a grapple. Are we trained in unarmed combat?

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>>40645550

>>40645496
>>40645511
>>40645528
>>40645537
>>40645571


I think we've made our choice QM

>>40645646
not really no. and he's about twice your size.
Ugo's grandfather was an ogre. try not to think to hard about how that would work.
>>40645676
writing

>>40645697
wait, shit. give me 1d100. no bonus due to trying to combat-cast a ranged spell from within melee combat.

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>40645710

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>40645710

Remove arm with negative energy.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>40645710
Luck be a lady.

>>40645747
Nice, beat my roll by 2

>>40645721
>>40645722
>>40645747

Good job boys.

>>40645770
FUCK YEAH I DID!
SUCK IT!

>>40645747
alright, now give me a d4
1= you hit his arm
2,3= you hit his torso
4= you hit his head

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>40645789

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>40645789

>>40645801
Oh.
Fuck the hell yes.

>>40645801
goddamnit.
>Headshot! x2 damage!
writing

>>40645801
Deus Maximus!

Ave IMPERIATE!

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>>40645801

>>40645801

I think we just shredded his face.

>>40645801
>>40645814
That's...
Actually pretty hilarious.

I can imagine it now
>Nice shot, Avi!
>...I was aiming for his arm.

>>40645314
Your eyes narrow, you let go of your axe with your right hand, and call on your magic again, this time it's much easier, the threads of magic weaving their pattern much faster, good thing too since it looks like this brute is getting ready to swing at you.

As the dark lance forms in your palm, the world seem to slow, you can see Ergon out of the corner of your eye, he's left the rock and rushed the two remaining bandits, dodging the swordsmans thrust and landing a wound on the on with the mace.

The Lance crackles and it's light dances, seeming almost alive in your hand, you draw back your arm and cast it forward.

Your aim is off, you had meant to hit his arm, disable it so he couldn't use the massive club. you don't. You hit his face.

The Dark lance arcs through the air and slams into the man, tearing off a massive chunk of flesh on the right side of his most, most of his cheek is gone now, and he reels back
>Ugo, HP 10/20

"PHUCK!" he roars, his words slurred by his missing cheek, "YOUTH PHTUCKA! HIMA GONNA PHTUCKIN STHMATH YOUTH!" He swings around, bringing his club up high!

>Roll 1d100+5

>>40645959

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959
DUCK AND WEAVE!

Rolled 17 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959
>>40645973

Rolled 9 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959

>>40645982
Or... Don't. I guess.

>>40645992
>>40645982
Holy shit.

Rolled 41 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959
He's mad now. Bait a strike and lop his arm off.

pls stop rolling

Rolled 45 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40645959

Rolled 17, 61, 34, 86, 43, 57, 38, 49, 44, 73 = 502 (10d100)

>>40646005
Fuck you, I do what I want.

>>40645982
>>40645991
>>40645992
dodge roll failed!
writing.

>>40646005
At least they didn't crit fail?

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>40646028
There's still a chance!

>>40646028

If they didn't, they were goddamn close. Okay, so, we just took some good damage. What does everyone think of using the last of our mana to vampiric touch ourselves out of the danger zone?

>>40646125
That is the most exciting, effective, and relevant option available; pre vote for vampiric touch.

>>40645959
Oh fuck. this is gonna hurt. His massive club smash into you, knocking you backwards and off of your feet. YEP! YOU WERE RIGHT! REALLY FUCKING HURTS!
>Avitus HP 8/15

You skid, coming to a stop about a foot away from where you were standing before, the good news is that it seems like the bandit is a little off-balance from that swing, and Ergon's killed the swordsman he was fighting, and moved on to the mace user.

The bad news, is that you're flat on your ass and your double-axe is laying out of your reach, and your shield is back on the rock face, your only weapon is your warhammer hanging at your hip.

>what do you do?

>>40646172
Vamp touch for 7.

>>40646172
>Dark Lance and get the fuck up

>>40646172
Rush him.
Feint with the hammer, and use vampiric touch with the other hand.

>>40646205
you only have five mana left after your last dark lance.

>>40646172
How much mana de we have left?
You should probably post that when we use a spell.

>>40646224
Vamp for 5 and atempt to get him to surrender

>>40646172
Vamp for 5 then kill him.

>>40646228
yeah, I forgot, 5 mana
>>40646237
you'll need to get in touch range to leach

>>40646172
>Tackle him before he could raise his weapon, then bash his face in with the mace.

Don't spend all our mana pls.

>>40646255
In that case one more lance if we can; then scramble for the shield.

>>40646267
he's twice your size, you'll need a pretty good roll to knock him over even though he's off-balance.

>>40646287
shield is about thirty feet away on the rock face.

Dark Lance
>>40646287
>>40646210

vamp
>>40646205
>>40646215
>>40646237
>>40646252

No mana
>>40646267

writing for vampiric touch, give me a d100+5

Rolled 44 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40646328

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40646328

Rolled 41 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40646328

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>40646328

>>40646328

Rolled 72 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40646328
For Mother.

>>40646342
Near failure
writing
With vampiric touch you don't lose mana if you don't drain life btw

Rolled 45 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>40646328

Someone, make a sacrifice to the dice gods. We've lost their favour.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>40646422

I just killed my cat we gucci now dice gods?

/Testing

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>40646422
K.
I'm gonna sacrifice my rum.

Let's see how it worked.

>>40646460
>>40646436

WE HAVE TRULY LOST FAVOR WITH THE GODDESS

REPENT, BROTHERS, REPENT

WE PALADIN QUEST THREAD NOW

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>40646172
You scramble to you feet, rushing the bandit before he can get his balance back, You stretch your arm out, briefly making contact with the human mountain, pushing your magic into your finger tips to try and drain him,
>Drained three HP, Avitus HP is now 11/15
>Ugo's HP is now 7/20

You can feel your ribs knitting back together, setting themselves in place, and then the bandit back hands you, sending you stumbling away backwards.

>Avitus HP 10/15

The giant is wavering now, his feet unsteady, your double-bladed axe lies at your feet, and Ergon is about to overwhelm the Mace-user.

>What do you do?

Rolled 30 (1d100)

God damn it guys I leave for half an hour and what's happening

>>40646510
Close in and drain him with vamp touch again.

>>40646510
What is our mana at?

>>40646510
oh yeah,
>mana 2/15
I keep forgeting

>>40646510

We've got our hammer, yeah?

Kneecap him.

>>40646521
WE'RE WINNING, THATS WHAT!

>>40646510
SMASH HIM WITH THE HAMMER!