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>>40504792
Even now, Shovel Knight hasn't taken off that stupid horned helmet- you have no idea how she managed to eat /anything/ through that T-slit, but you're ready to write it off as more of Gamindustri's cavalier treatment of physics. You scoot over to the girl in the full suit of blue armor and elbow her where her ribs ought to be- she almost jumps in place. Asking her why she's staring at Rokko doesn't seem to help any.

"Staring? Perish the thought. I was simply..." She trails off, her helmet tilting back toward Rokko like she's sneaking another peek from the corner of her eyes.

You're scowling before you realize it. Look, you know Rokko's seen better days (to say the least- not that you say that out loud), but if Shovel Knight's gonna have a problem with the way she /looks/, then-

Shovel Knight's helmet whips back around so fast that you have to duck to avoid that goddamn horn from taking your head off. "No! Of course not!" she hisses quietly, and you can hear the wounded pride in her voice. "I just have a question for her, that's all. About... about a mutual acquaintance, and times long past. That's all."

... then what's with the goddamn furtive glances and the moonstruck whatevers? Why doesn't she just go ask Rokko?

"But she's the Blue Bomber. THE Blue Bomber!" Shovel Knight burbles, leaning in close enough that you can see the gleam in her otherwise shadowed eyes. "One of Lowee's greatest legends! A hero among heroes, always fighting to the last, adaptable to any era, and..."

You can't help but stare as she prattles on. For the short time you've known Shovel Knight, she's been boisterous, professional, and difficult to shock; you weren't expecting to see her /fangirling/.

"... so I can't just go up to her and /ask/ her silly things!" she finishes, wringing her gauntlet-clad hands together. "I'll just- I'll build up my courage and ask her tomorrow, okay? Good night!"

(Cont.)

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>>40504806
Shovel Knight scoots away from you and stares intently into the bonfire, looking like she's searching for stray jewelry among the ashes or something.

... well, alright then. You glance back over to Rokko- she's still facing away from the fire, staring up at either the moon or the big honking metal halo in the sky above Leanbox.

[ ] [CHAT UP ROKKO] Go talk to the Blue Bomber, and talk to her about all that's happened today. You've got a few things to ask her, too.
[ ] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.
[ ] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY] 'EEEEY ROKKO, SHOVEL KNIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME SHIT.
[ ] [DF ARENA] Okay, that's enough socializing for the night. Go muck around with your weirdass abilities and see if you can't figure some more stuff out.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>40504831
>[ ] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.

>>40504831
>[x] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY] 'EEEEY ROKKO, SHOVEL KNIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME SHIT.

>>40504831
>[ ] [CHAT UP ROKKO] Go talk to the Blue Bomber, and talk to her about all that's happened today. You've got a few things to ask her, too.
>[ ] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.
Blip Blorp, btw, how did you get your namesake qm?

>>40504831
>[ ] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY] 'EEEEY ROKKO, SHOVEL KNIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME SHIT.
Building up courage is for losers, rushing blindly is for winners.

>>40504831
>[ ] [CHAT UP ROKKO] Go talk to the Blue Bomber, and talk to her about all that's happened today. You've got a few things to ask her, too.
>[ ] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.

>>40504831
>[ ] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY] 'EEEEY ROKKO, SHOVEL KNIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME SHIT.

>>40504831
[ ] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY] 'EEEEY ROKKO, SHOVEL KNIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME SHIT.

>>40504831
>[x] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.

>>40504831
>[ ] [CHAT UP ROKKO] Go talk to the Blue Bomber, and talk to her about all that's happened today. You've got a few things to ask her, too.
>[ ] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT] Go talk to Rokko and quietly tell her that Shovel Knight's got something to say to her. Let 'em talk it out naturally.

Alright, it's a really close vote, but looks like HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT OUT wins! Urist won't be that subtle about it, but at least yelling from across the campfire won't be involved- writing!

>>40504919
>how did you get your namesake qm?
EVO Quest, actually- it was one of four words the main character could say!

>>40505204
>but at least yelling from across the campfire won't be involved
Boo

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>>40504831
>[X] [HELP SHOVEL KNIGHT OUT]
>[X] [BULLDOZER DIPLOMACY]

Technically, it's none of your goddamn business, but then again, you're also getting the hunch that Shovel Knight joined you on this little expedition because Rokko was with you. If it takes shoving the two of them together to /keep/ Shovel Knight fighting alongside you, then why the hell not?

... okay, so that's all just a flimsy justification for you wanting to shove the two of them together and 1) see Shovel Knight drop her spaghetti all over the fucking place, and/or 2) get a straight answer as to what's eating at her. Either way, you win.

You're REALLY tempted to yell out to Rokko as loud as you can- hell, you even get as far as sucking in a deep breath- but then you remember that you're either in enemy territory or a place where Gamindustri politics is about to get horrifyingly real, so you let it out as a sigh and tromp over to sit next to the Blue Bomber.

The robot doesn't turn to look at you or even acknowledge your existence, as she's still staring up at the moon with unblinking eyes. You take this as an invitation to cut straight to the point in your customary growl: so, Shovel Knight's got something she wants to talk about.

Okay, so that had an /effect/, but you weren't expecting Rokko to slouch down from her ramrod-straight posture like a puppet with her strings cut. "I-I see," she deadpans flatly, sounding a little weary. "Wondering why. I am, the w-way I am?"

... damn. Gets that sort of thing a lot, does she?

Rokko raises a hand and flexes it, staring at the battered armor- after all the fighting you've been through, her 'repaired' exterior's basically fallen apart back to its usual run-down state. "My current s-status is. Not w-widely known. Uncomfortable q-questions are expected."

(Cont.)

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>>40505956
>>40505956
Well, that's not what Shovel Knight was going on about. Something about some mutual acquaintance and old times' sake and stuff like that. Poor girl was about to have a damn aneurysm or something, that's how big a fan she is, you add a little smugly.

"... hm." That's enough to get the Blue Bomber to relax a little, even if she doesn't really reply. After a moment, she stands up and unsteadily makes her way over to Shovel Knight, dropping herself down next to the younger adventurer with absolutely zero warning and zero fucks given.

You're not close enough to hear much, but Shovel Knight's squeal of shocked surprise carries- and it's fucking /priceless/, even if she shoots you a completely traumatized glare.

After a few moments, though, both of them relax a little bit more- hell, you even catch Rokko smiling softly, even if it's a ghost of a thing. You give them a minute of privacy before meandering back over toward the bunker you'd built, and you catch a few snippets-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF32DRg9opA

"... thought I was going /crazy/! You have no idea how happy I am that I'm not the only one who dreamed her up," Shovel Knight is saying, hanging her head in relief. "All the strange looks when I described someone teaching me combat skills through my /dreams/-"

"W-White hair. Monocle. T-Top hat. Cane. C-Certainly a strange combination," Rokko admits. "Her non-existence does... not help."

"Maybe she's a ghost? A long-lost sister? Gamindustri is nothing if not strange like that."

"Either w-way, you are the first outside m-my circle of, acquaintances to have seen her. I-Introductions may be in order."

"Really!? But that's- you don't mean the Street Fighter and all of them??"

(Cont.)

>>40506018
... well, it looks like they've completely forgotten about you at this point. And you've basically done your good deed for the day, which might just make up for unleashing a forgotten beast somewhere in the innards of Leanbox. Maybe it's time to treat yourself to a few dozen nightcaps and then hit the hay.

[ ] [DF ARENA] Slip on your nightgown while they're distracted and try to tinker with your abilities again. Dunno if you'll be able to get back in after accessing it so recently, though.
[ ] [BUTT IN] Squeeze yourself into the conversation. Invisible friends and stuff, huh? That's a thing in Gamindustri?
[ ] [PLANNING] Cut them off for a few minutes to hash out your plan for the next day. Given the time limit, you might have to prioritize which parts of Leanbox you hit first.
[ ] [SLEEP] Forget it- you're completely tired. Time for bed. (TIMESKIP)
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>40506041
>[ ] [DF ARENA] Slip on your nightgown while they're distracted and try to tinker with your abilities again. Dunno if you'll be able to get back in after accessing it so recently, though.

>>40506018
...ducktales...ducktales. Blorp You're the best motherfucker on the planet and I want you to feel goddamn good about yourself.
[ ] [DF ARENA] Slip on your nightgown while they're distracted and try to tinker with your abilities again. Dunno if you'll be able to get back in after accessing it so recently, though.

>>40506041
>[ ] [DF ARENA] Slip on your nightgown while they're distracted and try to tinker with your abilities again. Dunno if you'll be able to get back in after accessing it so recently, though.
If not just sleep then.

>>40506041
>[x] [DF ARENA] Slip on your nightgown while they're distracted and try to tinker with your abilities again. Dunno if you'll be able to get back in after accessing it so recently, though.

>>40506041
>[ ] [SLEEP] Forget it- you're completely tired. Time for bed. (TIMESKIP)

>>40506041
>[X] [SLEEP] Forget it- you're completely tired. Time for bed. (TIMESKIP)

[WRITE-IN] Butt in mentioning about DF Arena and the dreams and abilities therein.

There MIGHT be a VERY TINY CHANCE that we can contact others who are dreaming/slightly nonexistent. There may also be a chance we can drag them into reality.

>>40506041
[x ] [SLEEP] Forget it- you're completely tired. Time for bed. (TIMESKIP)
Dorf need sleep

[WRITE-IN] Butt in mentioning about DF Arena and the dreams and abilities therein.

We've had mysterious meetings with people there before, maybe this is something similar.

Hello blorp!
>>40506041
>[BUTT IN] Squeeze yourself into the conversation. Invisible friends and stuff, huh? That's a thing in Gamindustri?
After that
>get into [DF ARENA] while trying to sleep

Okay, looks like [DF ARENA] is the winning vote (although the write-in is intriguing enough that I'll save it for a later date), so might as well get this outta the way:

>Urist Twelfthbay attempts to reenter DF Arena!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 50 (Bonus: +15 for nightgown) (more difficult due to recently being inside once already!)

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>40506445

Rolled 96 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>40506445

>>40506470
Welp.

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>>40506470

Rolled 78 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>40506445
I'll roll just to get a third out of the way, though we probably got there.

>>40506470
well okay then

>>40506470
>>40506508

... Well then.

Ogre luck has kicked in.

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>>40506470
>>40506508
>huh we've been getting too many crits and critfails on d20
>guess i'll bump it up to d100
>that should totally help the crit issues

EITHER MY MATH IS SHIT OR ANON'S LUCK IS FUCKING OGRES

WRITING!!

>>40506551
In all seriousness, we love Ogrepowered luck.

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>>40506551
I made Blorp cry!

>>40506587
That's like the hidden achievement in every thread is to see who can make blorp cry first

>>40506470
>>40506551
You do realize we just rolled triples, right?
111 ftw

>>40506716
nevermind I fail at math it's only 109

>>40506716
>>40506734
No anon it's 111

>>40506734
Nope, you were right its 111.

>>40506716
>>40506763
>>40506790
SLIPPERY SLOPE, ANON

SLIPPERY SLOPE

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>>40506817
You can't escape the ogre luck Blorp.

>>40506817

The thing about percentage based rolls is that they stay the same no matter how much you scale the dice.

Blorp rolls never fade!

>>40506817
Remember how we kicked the crap out of time?
We wanna do it again.

>>40506041
>>40506470

You're tempted to butt into the conversation, but- nah. May as well leave them to their peaceful conversation and not muck it up by adding in a growling dwarf who knows shit about their shared imaginary hallucination thing. Besides, having both Shovel Knight and Rokko distracted is pretty much the best fucking thing that could happen to you right now.

Strolling along casually so that you don't attract any undue attention, you duck into the bunker and immediately close the door to avoid any accidentally peeping eyes- just to be safe, you lock it so tightly that not even a fluffy wambler could slip inside. Then you throw down your pack and rip off your own armor in the same fluid motion, and devote the rest of your attention to pulling out your nightgown and tearing your own clothes off as fast as dwarvenly possible, all to minimize the amount of time you spend either undressed or in a state of half-dress.

Look, you KNOW Gamindustri and its propensity for stupid bullshit anime antics, and accidentally walking in on a girl changing clothes? That's like wearing a meat dress and walking through an enclosed pen full of half-starved lions, with pretty much the same results: someone's gonna end up naked, and lions are gonna be beaten to within a half-inch of their fucking lives. And after a day like TODAY, after that horrible scene in the bar involving your friends' hands somehow sneaking past your armor, you're taking no chances whatsoever.

(Cont.)

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>>40507180
Thankfully, you make it through the clothes-changing process with zero wacky incidents; the only downside is that you ARE wearing a frilly fluffy nightgown that's actually fairly comfortable, but, y'know. Win some, lose some. Grumbling under your breath, you unlock the door and slide into one of the beds. On hindsight, maybe you could've taken the time to carve out more than one room- the beds are basically a few feet apart- but your roommates are a robot and a knight who doesn't seem physically able (or willing) to hop out of her armor, so you're safe on that front. Probably.

Anyway, nap time.

>[X] [DF ARENA]
>96 + 15

Surprisingly enough, you experience SOME resistance as you try to slide into your little dreamland- apparently, it's not something you can slip in and out of at will. Maybe it's your inexperience, or the ephemerealal nature of the sleeping subconscious or some other scientific-sounding bullshit, but whatever the reason, DF Arena isn't open to letting you in.

Not that you give any fucks, of course, so you kick the metaphorical door down hard enough to knock the barrier off its metaphorical hinges and send it flying into the metaphorical air, where it promptly hits the metaphorical fairy-in-a-book hard enough to knock her metaphorically senseless and sending her spiraling down to land in the metaphorical grass in your little DF Arena, and-

Wait.

(Cont.)

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>>40507199
"Kyuuuu~," the fairy-in-a-book whimpers, struggling weakly to get up.

Fuck. Did- did you just severely injure a- OH SHIT YOU KNOW THIS FAIRY.

[ ] [GRAB HER] You want answers! You want them now! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, TELL THEM TO ME NOW.
[ ] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.
[ ] [IGNORE HER] Okay, you don't have time for this. You've got a dream fortress to start building up, and you KNOW you're gonna wake up just before she tells you anything good or before you build something interesting.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>40507199
Oh fuck! I KILLED HISTY!

>>40507218
>[ ] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.
I thought this was our personal meatheadspace.

[X] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.
and then
[X] [GRAB HER] You want answers! You want them now! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, TELL THEM TO ME NOW.

>>40507218
>[ ] [GRAB HER] You want answers! You want them now! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, TELL THEM TO ME NOW.
>[ ] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.

>>40507218
>[X] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.

>>40507218
>[x] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.

>>40507218
>[GRAB HER] You want answers! You want them now! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, TELL THEM TO ME NOW.
>[ ] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.
Grapple first, ask questions later.

>[x] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.
OH GOD OH GOD TAKE HER TO ROKKO

>>40507218
>[ ] [HELP HER] Make sure she's not... y'know. Dead or dying. A little goodwill goes a long way, even in your subconscious, especially if she happens to be something relatively important.

>>40507218
Who is this fairy? In meta sense, I mean.

>>40508054
Histoire

It looks like we just found the strategy guide/cheat codes. Hehehehehe
http://hyperdimensionneptunia.wikia.com/wiki/Histoire

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>>40507218
>[X] [HELP HER]

Shit.

You can /probably/ fix up dwarves and other similar humanoids- or, okay, so you can at least bandage them up and stop them from dying- but healing up animals is completely beyond you. Trying to heal humanoids small enough to break with a /sneeze/ seems like a goddamn foregone conclusion, and you pray to fucking Armok that the fairy-inna-book doesn't need surgery, because you'll need /tweezers/ and you'll probably pull her spine out her nose by accident or some shit-

Your (dream-)body gently takes the reins from your panicking mind and forces you to kneel next to the little fairy. Knowing your luck, separating the fairy from the book will probably cause one or the other to explode, so you simply lift up the book and keep her balanced on it as best you can. Pulling from the deep and bottomless well that is your medical experience, you diagnose the patient as "was knocked the fuck out" and figure that the best cure is to give her some water from your ultra-emergency flask, which she sips daintily.

... and then you poke the fragile porcelain doll-like little girl with a finger. Look, this is the one and only chance you'll ever have to lord it over someone even SHORTER than you! Someone who isn't a baby (and lording it over babies doesn't go down well, for some strange reason)!

It's enough to bring her back into the land of the living, at least. "This should not be possible," the fairy murmurs, bringing a hand to her head (probably as much to clear her mind as to ward off your poking). She speaks in clipped precise tones- and if not for how grave she sounds, it'd make her seem like a little kid trying to act all grown-up. "How did she learn to manipulate her dreams in such a short amount of time?"

You snort. Look, you're sorry about knocking her out, but- why's she talking about you like you're not there?, you growl in your raspy tones that most certainly do NOT make you sound like a little kid trying to act all grown up.

(Cont.)

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>>40508193
>>40508193
"Ah, my apologies! m(_ _)m" The blonde fairy stands up- even that doesn't seem to make her taller than your head- and bows politely. "Thank you for your assistance, Urist- my name is Histoire, and as for my role, I suppose you could call me the Oracle of Gamindustri. I did not mean to be rude, I was simply... surprised, that's all. I did not think we would be talking face-to-face so soon! (」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣"

... you can't help but stare for a moment. Alright, leaving aside how she's doing that- that /thing/-

"What thing? (ﾟヘﾟ)?"

- was she planning on meeting you in person or something? What's with the surprise?

"Hmm..." Histoire sits back down, dangling her legs over the edge of the book. "You're making quite a lot of ripples in this world, Urist. Even if you aren't aware of it, you've been at the center of a few incidents already! (;´д｀)ゞ"

Hah. Right, pull the other one, it's got bells on. You're nothing but a broken-ass adventurer; she's better off looking for someone like Estelle, or Rokko, or one of the goddesses-

"Yes, I would normally agree," she interjects, nodding sagely and knocking your ego down a few dozen pegs. "And that is why I am keeping an eye on you, of course. This is all quite abnormal."

Neptune's nonsense accusations of you stealing her main character-ness pop into mind before you shake it off. Well, okay. If she's so chock-full of information, and if you've somehow got the power to affect a whole lot of weird shit, then how's about she share some of it with you, huh?

(Cont.)

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>>40508289
Histoire opens her mouth to reply- and then she tilts her head, as if listening to something beyond your hearing. "... perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad idea," she murmurs in a strange tone of voice. "What would you be interested in seeing? (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)"

... what, really? Just like that?

The fairy nods, perking up slightly and kicking her legs a little. "Perhaps it might convince you of the importance of your role! Or something like that. Now please choose wisely, since I'll only give you one of these~! ヽ(｡ゝω・｡)ﾉ"

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [ESTELLE] What's Estelle been up to since you last parted ways with her? Has she achieved her goal of recovering Blanc, or do you need to extract her?
[ ] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?
[ ] [NEPTUNE] ... come to think of it, the hell's she been up to? She's got to have seen this whole Blanc vs. Vert battle on TV, right? What's Planeptune's play?

>>40508310
>[ ] [ESTELLE] What's Estelle been up to since you last parted ways with her? Has she achieved her goal of recovering Blanc, or do you need to extract her?
Nee-san!

>>40508310
Mojang

>>40508310
>[ ] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?

>>40508310
>[ ] [ESTELLE] What's Estelle been up to since you last parted ways with her? Has she achieved her goal of recovering Blanc, or do you need to extract her?

>>40508310
[ X] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff

>>40508310
>[x] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?

Let's confirm our suspicions.

>>40508310
>[ ] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?
Estelle is probably okay-ish, but Mojang is still a mystery

>>40508310
Blanc.

>>40508310
>[ ] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?

Would this be a one-time only thing, or a permanent connection?

>>40508310
>[ ] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?

>>40508427
One time only!

>>40508310
>[X] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?
Need to check on little sis.

>>40508310
Histy I demand you stop speaking faces at me

[X] [MOJANG] How's your friend been doing? Is she still hanging in there, or have all those suspicious calls from her been nothing but fluff?

Not only can we find out if she's ok, but we also figure out where to pick her up.

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Right, looks like the consensus is to review what [MOJANG]'s been up to! And this is... probably the best place to stop for the night, because it's a weeknight, I'm running outta steam, and my connection's been acting up.

Alright, so I'd better apologize in advance: the next few threads (and the next month) are gonna be sort of tricky for me, but I'm going to aim for Sunday, 6/14, sometime in the morning! I will post an update about this schedule to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest by SATURDAY at the latest. (And if not, then something's gone horribly wrong with the internet where I'm staying, which is a strong possibility).

As usual, questions can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest! Thanks a lot for participating, and I hope you all enjoyed the thread!

...

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: the completed Mojang and Urist prequel sidestory thing that I promised!

Is it just me or have these last few threads felt like they were really short, and that we didn't get much done in them?

>>40508795
They do look shorter.

>>40508795
Thats every Blorp thread you should be used to it by now. Blorp quests 2gud4time

>>40508795
Yeah, that's my bad; I've been starting later and ending earlier, and with my pace, that's sort of an issue. Sorry!

>>40508740
Thanks a whole bunch for the thread Blorp, see you next time.

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So, Blort, any plans on how you'll be handling the next forms?

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>>40508740
You are Mojang, the moe personification of Minecraft! Much to your relief, your immediate future does not involve getting brutally torn apart, nor will your component parts be occupying anyone’s soup pot.

Okay, so those aren’t exactly normal things to worry about, but you wouldn’t know anything about normality. You were literally born yesterday! Even then, you’re smart enough to worry about getting killed and eaten, or at least ravished a little, when the wild-looking little girl forcefully dragged you back to her “home” (literally a hole in the ground) to heal your self-inflicted wounds that came from punching a tree into logs (like any normal person would do). But true to her word, she healed you right up, scrubbing out your knuckles with soap and cleaning them off with water before wrapping it all up with silky bandages.

“Urist Twelfthbay completes task,” she says to herself as she puts away her tools, sounding pretty pleased. The girl- Urist?- doesn’t even look back over her shoulder at you. “Diagnostician skill increased. Wound-dressing skill increased.”

You take this time to look around your savior’s home. There’s not much to see: it’s a hole in the dirt, with a ramp leading down from the surface for an entrance, and one wooden door blocking off whatever there is to block from the outside. But it’s really surprisingly roomy! There are exactly seven beds, also made of wood, and a few side rooms that you can’t quite identify, with workstations strewn haphazardly through the underground area. It’s lived-in, but looking back, it’s hard to say whether Urist was truly /living/ in this place.

Still, it’s the first home you’ve ever seen. To your inexperienced eyes, it’s absolutely amazing, and you’re like a small child in a candy shop.

(repost 1/2 - Cont.)

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>>40509114
“Urist, Urist,” you chirrup, getting off the bed and padding over to a wooden bin; you poke through all the strange implements, objects too advanced for your mind to properly quantify, and you waste no time bugging your host. “What’re these?”

“Weapons. Tools,” the smaller girl grunts tolerantly, stowing her things in a separate bin before moving over to a cage.

“Urist, Urist,” you chirrup, walking over to some furrowed dirt- there’re small plants growing up and out, far different from the strange spongy green grasses up on the surface! “What’re these?”

“Plants. Farmed food,” Urist grumbles, pulling something out of a cage and meandering over to one of the workbenches. You pad on over and stare at the squirming creature in the smaller girl’s lap- the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen in your short life blinks back up at you, a cute little furred feline with big cute eyes and a cute little pink nose and cute little pointed fluffy ears and it lets out a cute little “mew!” that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“Urist! Urist!” you squeal, clasping your hands against your cheeks as you keep your eyes trained on the first kitten you’ve ever seen in your life. “What’s that??”

Urist gently puts the kitten on the workbench and picks up a bloody carving knife. “Dinner,” she grumbles, bringing down the knife and rendering the adorable and unsuspecting kitten into an inert pile of prepared meats and organs and bones and hss, hssssss, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-

(repost 2/2, the rest is new - Cont.)

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>>40509130
A few minutes later, Urist continues staring hollowly at the gaping crater in the ground where her home used to be.

Looking back, it was nothing short of a miracle that you both escaped that blast without anything more than light injuries; either you hadn’t gotten the hang of exploding violently yet, or Urist’s survival instincts were honed to a razor-sharp edge from a VERY early age.

That doesn’t make it any less awkward as the two of you stand in silent vigil, Urist rooted to the spot in shock and you standing there because you feel really, really, REALLY bad. Sure, she turned a cute little kitten into dinner, but that’s really no excuse for being rude and wiping someone’s home off the face of Gamindustri! Even to this day, you remember shuffling in place, and how wretched you felt over something that both you and Urist would laugh off in later years (because you have to be honest with yourself, this wasn’t the first OR the last time your explosions blew a hole in someone’s house).

… it didn’t even occur to you that blowing up in a fiery cataclysm and emerging unscathed isn’t exactly a normal reaction to things.

Back in the past, you screw up your courage and turn to face the shorter girl. “Urist, I-“

“Melor!” the dwarf suddenly screams, her high-pitched voice cracking. You jerk in surprise as she suddenly explodes into action, digging into the dirt with her bare hands. “Catet! Ceslaz! Come on…! Not- not now, not after all this time-” she growls.

(Cont.)

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>>40509150
There were other people in there!? You stumble forward, fully intending to join Urist in digging, but she lashes out with a wild backhand, knocking you back a pace or two. The blow barely grazed you, hitting your knee instead of anything else, but to your younger self, barely even a day old, the shock of rejection stings more than the impact of her hand. “Go ‘way!” the dwarf yells, her breath hitching. Even as your head spins, you can’t help but notice how her speech is less stilted than before- “Just- just go!”

You stumble back, but you don’t obey her; instead, you hang back and watch her dig. Seconds pass, and then minutes, and then hours, but you and Urist are completely beyond caring. Eventually, she unearths something small, well-worn, clearly handmade out of the roughest materials, and scorched by your explosion- and irrevocably broken, crumbling to pieces in her hands.

Completely uncaring of your eyes on her, Urist hugs the remnants of her doll and breaks down into tears, her sobs racking her small frame.

* * *

“Urist-“

“Go ‘way.”

“Urist!”

“Go ‘way.”

“Urist!!”

“Go ‘WAY!”

“No! I won’t!”

Urist growls wordlessly and tries to drive her fist straight through your skull- but you’ve gotten faster, and you scramble out of the way. Bleary bloodshot eyes bore into your own, but you stare right back, because Urist needs this more than anyone else you know (not that you know anyone else)- she hasn’t bothered re-building her bungalow, she hasn’t been sleeping right, and you’re pretty sure she hasn’t been eating. And that just won’t do!

So you continue dancing away from her wild blows, and she keeps right on chasing you, until your back hits the wall and she drives her fist into rough stone bricks.

(Cont.)

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>>40509165
While Urist is rolling around on the ground and snarling in incoherent pain, you take the one chance you’ve got to explain yourself. You’re pretty proud that you got it out in the smallest number of words possible: “Urist! Home!”

THAT gets her to look up. And what she sees is… pretty horrible, actually, since it’s the first thing you’ve ever built. It’s a one-story, one-room house made of nothing but rough stone blocks. There are holes for windows and a hole for a door, and that’s pretty much it. But it’s enough to quiet Urist down, and she even forgets about her hurting knuckles as she stares at the thing you’ve made.

Eventually, she looks back at you. “’s got a basement?” Urist says, forgetting to rough up her voice.

You nod, trying to smile down at her. “It’s all yours.”

That’s all the encouragement Urist needs to totter unsteadily up to the doorway and disappear inside, rummaging around- she’ll find the bed, and the tools you tried to make for her (poor imitations of the real deal, but she’ll make more of her own, you’re sure of it), and the other stuff you left her. You step back, feeling a little better for some reason. Because really, you can always build another house, after all, and then Urist won’t need to worry about you blowing up her stuff again! And she’ll be safe and happy and warm and not crying.

You make it about ten yards out before Urist slams into you like a freight train, knocking you to the ground hard enough to blast the air out of your lungs and severely compress your ribs.

(Cont.)

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>>40509201
Shaking the stars out of your vision and hissing slightly, you feebly try to get Urist off of you, but she’s not having any of it- for such a small girl, she’s got an iron grip- but you stop when you feel the tears against your shirt.

“Thank you,” Urist murmurs.

… and, a few minutes later, that’s how you found yourself living with a dwarf in ratty old leather clothes, in a house that’s barely big enough for one and a half people.

Some minutes later, you kneel there in the dirt watching Urist play with the dolls that you fashioned out of crudely-woven sticks and branches: as she sits there, she’s got the most serious, brows-furrowed expression as she holds a doll in both hands and walks them across the floor. It’s… it’s surprisingly cute, and a very close contender to that very first kitten you saw. And even today, even after she grew out of her old habits and you grew out of yours, you’re not sure you’ve ever been happier than those days you lived with Urist.

“Catet Yearbanks the dwarf,” Urist mutters, holding up one of the makeshift dolls and staring off into the middle distance as she begins rattling off words off the top of her head. “A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Long red hair, braided beard, superdwarvenly athletic, prone to disease, not very patient, angers easily, feels blissful after admiring a fine bed, feels blissful after dining in a legendary dining hall, left ear has a scar from the Sieges of Purring in 188, large for one of his kind, left kidney is smashed open, has an infection from a cut in his arm that never quite healed…”

(Cont.)

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>>40509165
>urist cancels task - water covering eyes

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>>40509226
You can’t help but stare as, some minutes later, Urist hefts up the other doll and begins listing off another individual’s fully fleshed out physical and mental characteristics, ranging from its fictional date of birth to the minor injuries suffered a fictional number of years ago- after that, she takes the third doll and rattles off ANOTHER fully unique set of characteristics, the words flowing into one of your ears and out the other like so much water. Before you even understand what it is you’re hearing, Urist’s eyes flash, and she roars out-

“A vile force of darkness has arrived!”

As Urist throws the dolls up into the air, playing out the horrible deaths of an entire fortress of dwarves via three rough-woven dolls and an awful lot of improvised screams, you can’t help but stare in wonder.

Urist Twelfthbay. The first living soul you've ever met in your life. A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, more aware of the weirdness inherent in Gamindustri, and constantly in denial of her own cuteness. The most imaginative adventurer you'll ever meet, even if it comes at the cost of so many other things.

Your senpai.

One day, you'll make her proud.

[END]

Aaand that's a wrap. Thanks for your patience, guys- have a good night!

>>40509018
>any plans on how you'll be handling the next forms

... uh, undecided!

>>40509301
>[END]
It's over!

Why are you making me feel things this late Blorp?

>>40509165
Your first ruined Fortress is always the hardest

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>>40509301
>>40509226
>>40509201
>>40509165
>>40509150
>>40509130
>>40509114
the feels. the moe.... combination is too much...too lethal....for manly tears.

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>>40509301

>>40506551
..You realise there is only like 4% chance to fail a DC 35 check?

>>40509301
Dat feels.
Blorp, marry me and make your fukboi.

>>40509301
So wait, Mojang is the vile force of darkness ?

>>40509735
Maybe, but we're going to have to show Mojang a proper summoning when we get to her. We're 2 for 2 with forgotten beasts, a fluffy warbler shouldn't even need a roll.

>>40509800
OMFG, Urist summoned Mojang, the Forgotton beast of HSSSSSSSSSSSS BOOOM

Does anybody have any idea what game personification is that "dream mentor"?

>>40512175
If you are talking about the fairy, she's not a game personification at all, but a neptunia character. Depending on the continuity we are using, she is either the oracle of Planeptune (Think secretary/vice president) or the magical tome that records the history of the world (basically magical Wikipedia). Possibly both, now that I think about it.

Dorf quests seems to be using the V continuity in general, so I'd wager it's the tome version rather than the Oracle.

>>40512720
No, not the fairy, she was wikialinked even

>"... thought I was going /crazy/! You have no idea how happy I am that I'm not the only one who dreamed her up," Shovel Knight is saying, hanging her head in relief. "All the strange looks when I described someone teaching me combat skills through my /dreams/-"

>"W-White hair. Monocle. T-Top hat. Cane. C-Certainly a strange combination," Rokko admits. "Her non-existence does... not help."

That one. Duck Tales link seems misleading to me given that Scrooge does not wear a /monocle/.

>>40512915
I think the monocle part was just an oversight, since everything else lines up, and since Blorp isn't making licensed games into gamesona's she can't 'exist' properly. And it is Scrooge's pogo-attack that Shovel Knight uses (I don't know if Mega Man has one too, been a lot of Mega Man attacks over the years).

>>40513015
Theres a pogo-drill in one of the megaman games.

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>>40509528
>>40512915
>>40513015
Yeah, it's- it's an oversight.

Between this and me going "okay, so to make a DC harder, I have to set it lower! Genius!", and calling Histoire an Oracle even though that's pretty much inaccurate on hindsight, I've clearly suffered brain problems this thread.

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>>40513987
So...no Oracles in Dorf fort?

The oracles need more love.

>>40516225
Holyshit anon that a late post