EPISODE 3LAST TIME ON QUEST QUEST>You are Abby McSwag, a powerful Luckamancer and wielder of the mystical 1d???>You met a new friend, a halfling named Rabbit>After taking care of some bandits, you enter a casino>Your master plan is to luck all of their money away!AND NOW YOU'RE UP TO DATE
>Episode 1http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/40136203/>Episode 2http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/40202809/vote pls :")
>"Yes! Thank you for choosing the Oracle Casino! You've made an excellent choice by coming to the crabs table, as it's our most popular game!"The dealer seems chipper as he introduces you to the game.Look alive, McSwag. This is your warm up! You know how to play, right?
>>40371289Hell yeah we know how to play! Crabs is easy.
>>40371289of course we know how to playeven if we didn't, we're luckywe don't need to know how to play
>>40371325Well at least one of you does, because Rabbit seems to have no idea what the hell is going on. You study the table, ready to play!
>"Well, lets begin, shall we?"The dealer says as he sets his crab down on the crabs table.It snaps absently in the air as the dealer places a stack of chips behind it. Well....>WHAT DO?
>>40371343"Trust me, I've done this before."
>>40371371I knew it. I fucking knew it.We choose to disbelieve. This is clearly an illusion. Those are dice, not a crab.
>>40371371match the number of chipsbut put them in front of the crab
>>40371371Roll dice hope for providence.
>>40371371We throw our die at the crab.
>>40371371Its so obvious. You have to move the chips onto your bet without the crab interfering, if the crab gets your fingers the house takes your money. The crab can also move your bet and if it does your winnings are doubled! Now place your bets and roll the dice. Just DON'T HIT THE CRAB! Thats illegal!
Trust your dice
>>40371371We obviously eat the crab, then take all the chips. Have any of you even played before?
How do you people know what's going on?
You sweat. You realize that this isn't just Crabs. This is Middleland Crabs! You're only used to playing Original Crabs! It's the same basic concept of course, however you are at a severe disadvantage.
>>40371438Nervously, you match the dealers chips and set them down on the table. Immediately the crab looks enraged! It scurries over to your chips...
>>40371869And knocks them all down! My god, this no beginners Middleland Crabs... this is professional. This crab knows what it's doing.Rabbit doesn't seem to understand whats going on at all.>WHAT DO?
>>40371887Throw the dice And if the dealer ask you why us did it say that it's another rule from where we come from
>>40371581>KnowOh, you're funny.Hey, everybody, point at him and laugh!
>>40371887Appease the crab with tiny fish!
>>40371887Quick, While the crab is distracted, Place your second bet and roll the dice!
>>40371887Throw the crab bait we have in our pocket (like all reasonable crabs players) and throw it at the house's chips.
>>40371989Not too hard, of course. If we knock over their chips by doing that we get a 10 yard penalty.
>>40371887Throw more chips at the crab, aiming for vital areas.
>>40371887Pull out our lobster so they know we mean business
God, where's a half naked man wielding a giant crab cracker when you need him?
>>40372092No, anon, it's too early to attempt the Lobster Gambit.We gotta play this nice and cool.
>>40371913You decide to give it a whirl!You grab your 1d??? and give it a toss!
>>40372251It hits the crab and bounces off its head, shining a faintly visible "18"!Thats a good one, McSwag! Pretty lucky if you ask me!
>>40372269Speaking of luck, you notice something scuttle out of the shadows! It seems a previously unnoticed crab has joined the game!This may be your way of evening the odds! >WHAT DO?!
>>40372318Lay down our chips, now protected by our new crab.
>>40372318Wait for the two crabs to engage, then lay down more chips while they are distracted.
>>40372318>Look around for the other 17 crabs that are supposed to be there.
>>40372368I'm fucking ready.
>>40372318Ask the dealer to explain the rules of Middleland Crabs to Rabbit.
>>40372427Look at this wimp! Look and laugh!
>>40372318obviously we need to roll 2d6 and hope for snake eyes. so that we can play the snake card.
>>40372318Quick, have it knock down the dealer's chips!
>>40372368This is the only sensible option
>>40372368Yeah.Clearly he's trying to hustle us.
>>40372269Anyone else notice how rolling the die is decreasing incrementally? Like our luck is slowly running out? Nah, I'm kidding. That'd be silly.
>>40372581Stop riding our back harpy!
>>40372581I was wondering the same thing actually
>>40372581eh we'll just drain someone of their luck again.
>>40372661...that's a really interesting mechanic.
>>40372680The Luck-draining Mechanic, he makes it to where you get into more accidents and collisions so you use his services more often.
>>40372334You lay down your chips and your newly acquired crab scurries over and adopts a protective stance!>>40372581ehehehe
>>40372773explain the game to rabbit
>>40372788Start to wonder why she suddenly turned so young.
>>40372788You forgot the pic!
>>40372788You forgot something.
>>40372807Yeah, Sam was like, 40 in the Lord of the Rings.
>>40372807No, not our rabbit."That young rabbit"You know. That one. Over there.
it is the great lost update!
>>40372773You watch the table, ready for anything!Nothing could possibly break your concentr-Oh! It would seem that Rabbit is trying to get your attention!
>>40372848>>40372391>>40372368>>40372497>"Check out my crab beard!"It would seem that there ARE 17 other crabs that are missing. No wonder you were so confused starting out!Now that you have all the crabs needed, what do you do?
>>40372848>FilenameWe take great offense at you trying to wedge us into your binary gender system.
>>40372870isn't that incredibly painful?
>>40372848Check if the attention grab attempt involves at least partial nudity.If not, get back to the game.
>>40372870Tell her she's cute as hell, and then up the stakes.
>>40372870Hey crabs you help me win a bunch of money and I'll send you to the ocean express.
>>40372880Are you saying she might die if we took them off?
>>40372884It involves a swag as fuck beard.Which is close to BradWE NEED A BARD!
>>40372870we do the old trick play of rolling the enemy crab as a distraction to field additinal crabs.
>>40372910Gartendo's somewhere. Maybe with Brad posting bail we'll see him soon.
>>40372903what? no, I'm saying we should take them off because having 17 crabs pinch your face must be very painful!
>>40372970For us if we tried taking them off, most likely.
>>40373031you've never been pinched by a crab have you?
>>40373081Only a crawfish, which is why I don't want to try our hand at removing those crabs.
>>40372915Your crab rushes the dealer's!It uses its mighty claws to push the dealer's crab over!
>>40373291With the dealer's crab on it's back, yours stands triumphantly over it, raising it's claws into the air!
>>40373322Nows your chance! >"YES! BE FREE MY CHILDREN!"Rabbit giggles uncontrollably as the crabs release from her cheeks and fall onto the table!Now you have more crabs, which I'm assuming is good. And legal. >WHAT DO?
>>40373362Put down more chips.
>>40373362Press the advantage!
>>40373362I think she may not be fine over seeing that dude get run over by a carriage.
>>40373362ZERG RUSH! kekekekekekekeke
>>40373362Put down ALL THE CHIPS.
>>40373362split your crabs and double your bet.
brb doggy has to potty
>>40373362Our crabs luckily move our entire pile to the 10x winning zone without knocking it over and disqualifying us
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>40373362Put money down on the multi crab progressive spot! Quickly!
>>40373362I guess what with all her misfortune, Rabbit has grown a thicker skin and tolerance for pain.
>>40373583No, we need to get them on the triple word score square!
>>40373690You crazy! We need to put it on the bullseye. That gives x50 winnings!
>>40373711Only if we happen to have a bull on hand, and I don't see one.
>>40373730we pulled a rabbit out of our hat so a bull shouldn't be too hard.
>>40373811We only need the eye.
QMs doge has constipation everyone panic.
>>40373382>>40373405In a final gambit, you push down ALL OF YOUR CHIPSALL OF THEMTHATS SO MANY CHIPS!
>>40374300And just in time! As the last of your crab horde shambles in front of the placed chips, your original crab triumphantly lifts the dealer's chip over it's shell!I think thats good!>WHAT DO?
>>40374325Lose, One of your crabs is over their height line, disqualifying you.
>>40374325Yell encouragements at the crabs and bait the dealer.Then look around for casino security, in case luckamancy is forbidden.
>>40374325Place dealer's chip on your pile, solidifying your winnings. You have just won on a 4:1 bet.
>>40374429Dont forget to assert dominance over this lowly dealer
>>40374392>>40374411The dealer laughs humorlessly, a fake smile across his face.>"Well done. It seems the Divine Five are in your favor today. How lucky!"He forces a friendly clap
>>40374682>"Your winnings, sir. Errr. Ma'am. Uhh... just take it."He hands you a sack, jingling with chips!
>>40374699Time to cash out, motherfuckers.
>>40374699>>40374766As you head to the winnings booth, you notice an orc security guard eyeing you.Play it cool, McSwag. You almost have it.
>>40374773Seems like the perfect time for a FORTUITOUS DISTRACTION!
>>40374773relax, he just wants to pay bail for his brother
>>40374773Play cool as ice.
>>40374773QUICK! GO LOSE PART OF OUR WINNINGS AT ANOTHER GAME
>>40374773Let Rabbit do some betting, surely she'll throw him off our trail.
>>40374773Smile at him and wave."No funny business going on here, yessirrah!"
>>40374773Is being lucky illegal ?
>>40374881In a casino it is.
>>40374881being conspicuously lucky is frowned upon.
>>40374773As you cash out, your ears(?) pick up some chatter.You can't make out the conversation, but you do hear "Wizard", "magic", "luck", and "Crabs"!Looks like the heat is rising, friend.>WHAT DO?
>>40374943Play a game and lose, preferably on our own and give some to Rabbit to lose too.
>>40374943stuff our winnings in our hate and cheese it we've been made!
>>40374943Lose some, after all why would a Luck wizard ever lose?
>>40374998Hate...yes that is definitely what I meant not hat...
>>40374943Hide 2x our original investment in our hat, then lose the rest in various games
>>40374943Next game, quick, we need to lose!
>>40374943Call the SJW to save you from discrimination against wizardThen go out in the back quietly
>>40374998>>40375026You nonchalantly slip most of your gold into your hat, whistling inconspicuously!
>>40375221You walk over and take a quick look at the games list!>WHAT DO?
>>40375243SLUTMACHINES!WE BET RABBIT
>>40375243Pokeher! With what? Idunno~
>>40375307>>40375412>>40375279>>40375281>>40375307You make your way over to the "slut machines".Rabbit nudges your side.>"Psst, Abby. We've got company."It seems a scarred bald man has been tailing you since the winnings booth
>>40375725our luck stocks are a bit low. time to refuel with some scarred bald luck.
>>40375725>"Way-yell hey there! I saw yew did great over at th' Crabs table! Wanna take a "whack" at our slut machines?"The cheery elf hostess leads you over to the far end of the casino...
>>40375763She sets you and Rabbit down in front of a strange looking contraption...
>>40375784>"Mmmmhmhmmmmmmmmm~ Hey there, stud. I saw you over at the Crabs table. You're quite the lucky one. Well, do you wanna get lucky even more?"The machine breathes out in a sultry voice. This machine has huge tits.Well, you wanted to lose. Lets see if you can.>WHAT DO?
>>40375784Insert money, pull lever. Do so for a bit until we are out of ploy money.Minimum bet each time so no risk of large payout.
>>40375864Try to roll a 3 or something. Surely a wizard of luck can make themselves fail, but not horribly.
>>40375864Have Rabbit play
>>40375864Have rabbit play because we want to lose>Inb4 invoking spring time for hitler
>>40372903It would be very painful.
>>40375942>>40376021You sit Rabbit down in front of the machine.>"W-what? One a' these? I don't think it's right..."
>>40376831>"Mmmmmm! A little halfling girl? I don't get many of you pulling my lever~ Don't worry, sweetie. I'll take good care of you."Wow, this machine IS a slut.
>>40376859>"W-well... ok... just don't tell anyone..."She tentatively reaches up with trembling fingers toward the knob and gives it a pull
>>40376880The Slut Machine immediately explodes, machinery flying everywhere as bits of metal bounce off of you and Rabbit.Wow. She is REALLY unlucky.Looks like you guys just destroyed casino property. >WHAT DO?
>>40376916Hide the evidence and act like nothing has happened. Next, roulette!
>>40376916She just pulled the lever.It was obviously a faulty machine.We need not cheese it.We complain to management about unsafe conditions. They don't want to risk a lawsuit, this could have seriously hurt us.
>>40376916the incriminating evidence goes into the hat.
>>40376916It's an obviously faulty machine, complain to management.
>>40376880Rabbit confirmed best waifuBra'ed and bard's shield shit, rabbit perfect
The scarred man suddenly appears behind you, his presence radiating outward
>>40377126You turn around and hesitantly demand to speak to the manager.Good plan, pal.
>>40377387>"The die. You possess tHE DIE. THE TOTEM."He says, each word growing in intensity.His pale eye seems to cut right through you, and he knows about the mystical 1D???The jig is up! >WHAT DO?
>>40377461Start screaming incoherently.
>>40377461what are you talking about? do you even work here?
>>40377461"LOOK, THAT GUY JUST GOT A JACKPOT!"Then book it
>>40377461"You alright, m8?"
>>40377461Uh... are you off your medication or something?
>>40377461Um... Yeah?Hey, buddy, you doin alright?You've got that whole...1000 yard stare thing going on.
>>40377505You exclaim that someone has won the jackpot! How could they?!He immediately turns his head toward where you point.
>>40377867You shoot off toward the exit, Rabbit running beside you.>"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!"She cries as you run away from the scarred man.
>>40377886We all knew it would end this way, Rabbit.
>>40377886SON OF A BITCH.>WHAT DO
>>40378108Leave with our properly and rightfully gotten gains.
>>40378108PUT RABBIT IN THE HAT, HER STUMPY LEGS WILL SLOW US DOWN
>>40378108Let's stop in some eatery next.
>>40378131You dash outta town, the earnings in your hat and on the way to Oblyxia, home of the biggest casino in all Kingdoms.Will you score it big?Who is that scarred man?Will Rabbit ever become lucky?Find out next timeNight cuties
>>40378385thanks for running
>>40378385>Will Rabbit ever become lucky?Maybe if we waste all our 1D points, but where would that leave us?
Archived! Please vote!http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=quest+quest
>>40378433It's simple: We use our last roll (a nat 1) against NOT falling madly in love together.
>>40378766I hope she's into buttstuff.
>>40378958We should take her to a butt-smithy.