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Extreme Parenting Quest!

THE STORY UP TO NOW:

The proud sport of child combat has been a cherished social institution for as long as anyone can recall. We see the story through the eyes of the nameless father of a wannabe-punk kid named Greg, as he fights- and befriends- Manuel, Tayana, and Amelia. Later, in the second arc, the gang and their parents go to a fighting event to find out it's a seedy gambling joint where outsiders can pit their children against the in-house fighters, who all wear weird leather harnesses and appear to be treated poorly by their handlers. The first thread is archived here:
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/40296118/
and all threads will be archived on suptg under the tag "Extreme Parenting Quest".

ARC 3 will begin shortly. Character select screen loading...
>>
YES YES YES YES YES YES EXTREME PARENTING

wait... do we have to pick a new kid? if so i vote manuel
>>
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>>40324446
Please select a perspective character.

>Alex and Sam, "the twins"
>>STRENGTH: 3 and 2, respectively
>>SPEED: 2 and 3
>>IMAGINATION: 3 and 2
>>HUMOR: 2 and 3

>Melissa, "the teen Team Mom"
>>STRENGTH: 5
>>SPEED: 3
>>IMAGINATION: 3
>>HUMOR: 5

>Roger, "the new guy"
>>STRENGTH: 3
>>SPEED: 5
>>IMAGINATION: 5
>>HUMOR: 3

>George, "the old hand"
>>STRENGTH: 4
>>SPEED: 3
>>IMAGINATION: 2
>>HUMOR: 3
>>
>>40324908
let's go with melissa
>>
>>40324908
... let me amend. Melissa's IMAGINATION and Roger's STRENGTH are both 2.
>>
>>40324934
Second this
>>
>>40324934
>>40324950
You're in a lot of pain right now.

The gangsters that bought you guys brought in their "discreet" doc, and she said you had a lot of broken ribs and shouldn't fight until they heal on their own, which could be a month or two. The guy in charge, who you learned today is called Little Piotr- he's at least six foot seven- nearly had her disposed of. But doctors who can be trusted not to go to the police are hard to come by, so instead he just ignored her opinion entirely.

You won this last fight, but you hope to God no-one asks to fight you again tonight.

But let's back up. Last Friday was this ring's opening night. You had been smuggled into the state that morning from the last ring you fought in, and barely met your fellow fighters before you were called out to fight three ten-year-olds at once. They beat the shit out of you, unsurprisingly, and the bookkeeper had to hastily revise the odds. Fighting in a brand-new ring always sucks until they figure out how it all works. It continues to suck after that.

You pass George on his way out to the ring, eyes maniacally wide but the rest of his face immobile. That kid's been in the trade too long. You got kidnapped six months ago, but you're pretty sure George has been fighting in rings since before he could legally fight outside of them.

The twins and Roger are in the green room. Roger looks in a bad way, poor thing- he never fought much before he fell victim to fighter trafficking like two weeks ago.
>Talk to the twins.
>Talk to Roger.
>Talk to the handler on site.
>>
>>40325221
>Talk to the twins.
>"So... What gender are you guys anyway..? I was waiting to see which loos you used but then realised this place only has unisex."
>>
>>40325221
Aww shit, this took a turn downhill fast.
Not that I'm complaining
>Talk to the twins
>>
>>40325281
>>40325344
Don't even start with the twins about that. You tried to probe them politely on that subject when you first met them, and Sam told you that "in English, the plural number is genderless."

They were a prized catch because they're twins, and fighting rings thrive on gimmicks, so they got pitched as "ooh, twins are spooooooky!" or whatever, and you guess they internalized that? Anyway, they talk about themselves as if they were a single, genderless entity. If you had to guess you'd say they were fraternal, opposite-sex twins who looked enough alike to pass as identical with the same haircut. When you convince yourself that your opposite-sex twin is the same person as you, androgyny is the least of your concerns.

You walk over and plop yourself down on the floor, a warm and friendly gesture that also hurts like a motherfucker. "Ow. Hey Alex," you say, nodding to Alex. "Hey, Sam." It took you a couple days, but you can tell them apart now.

"Hello," they reply in unison. Alex continues. "How are you feeling?"

"Not great. I wish they'd give me painkillers or tape my ribs or something." You give a meaningful glance to the handler, who's reading the articles in Playboy.

"Taping a broken rib prevents you from breathing deeply and increases the risk of complications," says Sam. "Are you remembering to cough?" You haven't been, so you do.

"Ouch."
>Talk about the past.
>Talk about the present.
>Talk about the future.
>>
>>40325544
>Talk about the present.
No time like it.
>>
>>40325544
>present
>>
>>40325590
>>40325982
"What are the odds tonight?"

Alex looks up at the ceiling with furrowed brow and begins to count on Sam's fingers, which is what they always do- one direction or the other- when they're trying to remember something. It's a cute little tic of theirs.

"They're still doing you two-" meaning you and Roger- "versus two ten year olds as if it were near-even. They're calculating George's odds as if he was thirteen, because, well, you know."

You do know. George is vicious. When you spar with him, you can't use your height or weight against him or he loses it and starts hitting to injure. You're pretty good at not letting pain show on your face, but he seems to have figured out where your fractures are regardless. When he fights in the ring he sacrifices half his HUMOR to transform into something snarly and fast- you're not sure what, he's not that good an actor and he doesn't talk much- and ends fights in a few turns. You've never seen anyone "cast" from HUMOR like that before. He's offered to teach you, but it's not an offer you find terribly appealing.

Alex is still going on. "They're talking about introducing a tag-team fight for appropriate teams against us or against you two. Otherwise the standard calculation applies." Little Piotr had the old bookkeeper disposed of, the one who pitted you against the three tykes, and paid a little more for a real bookkeeper who knows how the sport works underground.

>[continued]
>>
>>40326293
Rule number one, the house never takes a fight where the house team's "equivalent age" is more than two years less than the opponent team's according to the standard calculation. You don't know the specifics of the SC, but three ten year olds are not equivalent to a hypothetical lone seventeen-year-old fighter.

Sam speaks up this time. "I heard someone say Little Piotr's looking into equipped fights."

"Jeez, I hope not." Outsiders don't get it. They think unequipped fights are more dangerous, but they don't have as many fighters to care for or as hectic a fight schedule. Equipment makes the sport more high-powered, which spectators love, but the physical impact of equipped fights is harsher. You've never fought in an equipment ring, but George has, and he said he'd die before going back to one- and take down his employers with him, if possible. You haven't asked him in as many words, but you can't imagine he got that scar on his eye anywhere else.
>Talk about something else with the twins.
>Talk to Roger.
>Talk to the handler.

Sorry, that got long.
>>
>>40326315
>Talk to Roger.
>"So how you holding up?"
>>
>>40326315
>Roger
>>
>>40326412
>>40326376
You look over at Roger, who looks like he's trying not to cry. You lower your voice. "Hey, I'm gonna go..." The twins nod.

Gingerly, you maneuver your legs to get off the ground using as little upper body strength as possible. Still hurts, though. You go over to Roger, sit next to him on the bench, and place your hand on his shoulder. He flinches, but smiles weakly at you.

"Hey you," you say in a silly voice, and his smile gets a little stronger. It's a little inside joke you have with him, the kind that isn't really funny so much as simply affectionate. Some trafficked kids would say different, but even having been in three rings in six months, you've found that making friends quickly is key to your survival.

"Hey," he says. "How're the ribs?"

"Rare and juicy," you say with a straight face, and at that he snorts and smiles for real. "How're you holding up?"

Roger sighs. "Someone wanted their thirteen year old to fight me. I held back at first, but he was a puncher, so I had to improvise some heavy MAKE BELIEVE just to stop him. FEAR ATTACKS, all that." You nod. You don't have much personal experience with MAKE BELIEVE- you were always a physical fighter- but mental ring fighters don't get out any easier.

"Anyway, I won by a hair, but it doesn't feel good. I think I gave the kid nightmares." Roger doesn't sleep well, or at least he hasn't since he got here, and when he describes his dreams over breakfast you understand why.

George enters, covered in blood from the eyebrows down, with hand-wipes on his pants. "Don't worry, it's not mine," he says unprompted. Then he gestures at you. "Melinda- fuck, sorry, Melissa's up next."

Your blood runs cold. "Damn, okay." You start to get up, but George waves his hand.

"Don't bother, they called intermission to clean the ring." George smiles, a slasher-villain grin. "If anyone needs me I'll be in the lav." And off he goes.
>Talk about the past.
>Talk about the future.
>Talk to the handler.
>>
>>40326813
>past
This is interesting.
>>
>>40326813
>Talk to the handler.
>"Alright, what am I up against this time? They better be using imagination based attacks..."
>>
>>40326813
>Precious recovery time
I'm sure that's George's MO anyway, but what a bro.
>>
>>40326887
>>40326888
You sit a moment in silence before breathing in deeply- ouch- and exhaling forcefully through your nose- double ouch. "God dammit," you say, and Roger nods.

More silence ensues as you Tina Belcher groan inside your mind at the prospect of another fight. Then Roger says, "How long have you been a ring fighter?"

"Six months."

"So not that long," he says.

"No, not compared to the twins and sure as hell not next to George." The twins have definitely been fighting since they were nine, and they're old ten year olds. "Why?"

"I was just wondering if it gets easier." Roger's looking off into the distance. "The homesickness, that is."

You hadn't asked him about his past- he hadn't seemed like he wanted to talk about it. "I mean, it does, yeah. Not by a lot. You miss home?"

He snorts. "Not... that much. I ran away and was homeless for a bit rather than put up with my parents' shit, but... yeah, it was sure better than here."

"What kind of shit? If you don't mind me asking."

>[continued]
>>
>>40327703
He leans forward and puts his chin on his fists, whistling lowly. "Pressure, lotta pressure. They didn't have a lot of patience for my... issues. Or believe in them, really, or believe in psychiatry either." He sighs. "When I couldn't keep my grades up, they grounded me, took away my phone, canceled our Internet... and it's not like I have siblings, either. So I kind of lost it, holed up inside all day when I wasn't in school, and I ran away. A month later I got chloroformed and, well, here I am, the opposite side of the country."

"Yikes," you say, and he smirks ruefully.

"How'd they get you?" he asks.

"I'm, uh, I'm pretty sure a boy I rejected who had connections with the Mafia had me kidnapped."

His eyebrows shoot up. "Wow." It's your turn to smirk ruefully.

The handler walks over. "It's your turn to fight," he says, touching you gingerly on the shoulder.

"Great," you say, getting up and making a show of wiping off his fingerprints. "Who'm I up against?"

The handler says, "I've got good news, and I've got bad news. Good news is, he's fourteen."

"Okay, hit me with the bad news then."

"Bad news is he looks like a football player. Wearing a school-issued jersey and everything."

"Fffffffffine, I'll be fine, this is fine," you say. "Glad you got my back." The last jab is unnecessary, really- the handler can declare you unfit to fight, but you and he both know that if Little Piotr gets wind of that, he's liable to get fired at best and disposed of at worst. You walk down the hallway to the ring, muttering under your breath, "Come at me, bro."

>[continued]
>>
>>40327727
This kills the Melissa.
>>
>>40327727
>>40327795
Holy shit. It's your boyfriend Brian.

Brian and Melissa are matched in SPEED, and therefore action order is determined randomly each turn.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
>>40328133
>boyfriend Brian.
The one that we rejected and got mafia'd by?
>>
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>>40328133
REAL GOOD AT REMEMBERING MY IMAGES, I AM
>>
>>40328153
Since this critically affects your decisions, I'll tell you- nope, that's a different guy. She was with Brian at the time.
>>
>>40328133
>JOKE
>"Funny to meet you here..."
>>
>>40328226
Supporting
>>
>>40328426
>>40328226
You can't control yourself- you start to say, "Funny to meet you here," but Brian claps his hands and AGGRESSES with a sonic boom. It misses, but it drowns out your verbal diarrhea.

Brian doesn't even fight, not since he was, like, twelve. (For the record, he's only a few months younger than you.) And he lives states away. There's no way he ended up here on accident- he must have tracked you down somehow.

If the handlers find out you know him from your previous life, they'll dispose of him and send you somewhere else. And you can't take that risk.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
>>40328511
>MAKE BELIEVE
>Pretend he's someone else, namely that guy we believe got us mafia'd
This is so that we fight the guy believably.

Assuming we can pretend other people into other things.
>>
>>40328586
One can pretend other people into other things, but Melissa's IMAGINATION isn't good enough. I'd guess it's a, like, 3 or 4 level technique. Let's call it RECAST.
>>
>>40328640
Ah, okay.
>HIT
>I forget what the options were, but maybe a bludgeon on Brian's Strength? Should keep his ability to damage our ribs low
>>
>>40328715
Brian AGGRESSES with a jet of water, missing widely. You BLUDGEON his STRENGTH and paralyze him, in addition to dealing .2 damage, leaving him at 1.8 HUMOR.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE

Here's a paste with the battle options. I'll update it as needed, and it'll be in the OP from now on.
http://pastebin.com/nRWEMuy5
>>
>>40328984
>HIT
>KNOCKOUT
Let's try to finish this whilst he's unable to move
>>
>>40329011
You perform a successful KNOCKOUT, causing him to lose another turn and dealing .4 damage, leaving him at 1.4 HUMOR.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE

Also, I JUST edited the paste again to add some options I forgot and clarify a mechanical point, just so you know.
>>
>>40329135
So hang on, we're strength five so knockout damage = 1d4 + 5 - 4 = 1d4 + 1

Right?
How does that translate to 0.4 damage? Is that the opponents defense coming into play?
>>
>>40329203
... whoops, sorry. It's [that whole expression] * .2.

Also I'll brb, gotta do dishes
>>
>>40329403
Ah, thanks for clarifying.

>HIT, THE OL' ONE TWO
>>
>>40329445
You use THE OL' ONE-TWO and K.O. Brian, then walk away from his limp form, away from the cheering crowds, down the hallway, into the greenroom, and collapse gently to the floor.

The twins and Roger jump up to come over to you, which draws the handler's attention from his articles, and he follows suit. You're crying silently, you realize, and grab at your ribs- which are, in fact, causing you a lot of pain- and act.

"Ow, ow, OW! Please, d-don't make me fight again! It h-hurts so m-much..." You devolve into entirely real sobbing.

The handler pulls out his walkie-talkie and says, "Tell the bookkeeper Melissa's not available... for the moment." You're too choked up to speak. Sam strokes your hair, and Alex murmurs soothingly; Roger stands at a distance and looks, while genuinely compassionate, also very uncomfortable.

George walks in wiping his hands, and when you blink you notice he still has blood on his temple. "What'd I miss?"

-----

That night, you sneak out of the room where you all sleep, club the handler over the head with one of his many empty beer bottles, and escape to the outside. You feel a flood of relief wash over you when you see that Brian is there, bruised but smiling, a floodlight of white teeth. It was easier than you had ever imagined.

But it wasn't over.

END ARC
>New arc
>Leave off for now

I gotta eat dinner soon, so I may be a while starting the new arc. Sorry, this one feels like it was less fun than the last two- my bad.
>>
>>40329920
Also lots shorter, holy shit. I didn't even realize how little I updated. I'm definitely starting a new arc. It will take me a bit, though.
>>
>>40329920
>Sorry, this one feels like it was less fun than the last two- my bad.
Well, naturally it had a bit of a different tone playing as the broken slave illegal child fighter rather than the proud parent of a fledgling legal one but I've had plenty fun still and it's been interesting seeing their background.

As for more or not - I'd be up for more, but it's up to you if you wanna continue tonight. It's a bit quieter this time round so I can understand if you wanna hold off.
>>
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ARC 3:
Gym Class Villains!

The bell rings to conclude third period. For you- which is to say Greg- it couldn't have come at a better time. Math class? Boring! Gym class?

AMAZING.

Gym's the only time you're allowed to fight, you see. Anytime else and it's against the rules. They have a dress-up box out of which to equip yourself, even.

You run into Tayana on the way there and high five her. "Last one to the dress-up box is a nerd!" she cries, and takes off running. This is a ritual.

You give her a two-second headstart- you know your stats- and take off running after her. Amelia and Manuel look jealous as you run past them- poor things, they don't have gym class on A days.

You beat Tayana to the dress-up box by several seconds and get dibs on two items of your choice. There's...
>A wizard hat (+2 IMG)
>A jump-rope (+1 SPD, ups damage output)
>A crown (+1 STR, +1 IMG)
>A feather boa (+2 HUM)
>A sword (+1 STR, ups damage output)
>Cat ears (+2 SPD)
>A tutu (+1 SPD, +1 IMG)
>Anything else you think could be in a dress-up box and has combat advantages similar to the above
>>
>>40331826
>A crown (+1 STR, +1 IMG)
>A sword (+1 STR, ups damage output)
Let's take it easy with a crown and a sword, get some strength boost.
>>
>>40331895
seconded
>>
>>40331962
>>40331895
You take the sword and the crown. "I am king of gym class! All must bow before me!"

Tayana takes the jump-rope and the cat ears. "I'm the cat that's gonna jump your ass if you're not careful."

"Language, Tayana!" you say, in faux-shock, before squaring up with her.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELI-

"Hey, look! It's Faggot Faggotson, playing with GIRLS again!"

Tayana glares over your head. It's Andrew. You flush hot red with rage and embarrassment, but ignore the taunt.
>HIT
>DEFE-

"Hey, Faggot Faggotson! Catch!"

Andrew flings the lacrosse ball at your head and narrowly misses. Your crown tilts slightly on your head due to the wind wake.

Oh heck no.

Tayana yells, "Teacher! Andrew just called Greg names and threw a lacrosse ball at his head!"

The teacher shrugs. "Isn't that what fighting is?"

Meanwhile, Andrew's walking up to you. "Hey, fag. Give me the ball back."
>Give him the ball back.
>Give him the ball back with alacrity.
>"You can fight us for it if you want."
>>
>>40332153
>"You heard the teacher. Throwing that ball and calling me names is fighting.

That means we're fighting.

Right now."
>Reposition crown
>MAKE BELIEVE, TRANSFORM into King Arthur!
>>
>>40332185
>>MAKE BELIEVE, TRANSFORM into King Arthur!
This.
>>
>>40332153
>Give him the ball back with alacrity.
"Think fast!"
>>
>>40332214
>>40332185
"You heard the teacher," says Greg. "Throwing that ball and calling me names is fighting."

"That means we're fighting," says Tayana. "Right now."

"Fine by me," says Andrew confidently. "I can beat the both of you at your stupid little make-believe game."

"Bring your friend," says Tayana. "It wouldn't be a fair fight otherwise."

This gives Andrew pause, and he looks over at the teacher. The teacher nods.

"Parker! Get over here!" A lumbering hulk of a ten-year-old makes his way over.

"We're fighting these nerds for our ball back." Parker grunts in reply.

Tayana TRANSFORMS into a panther with a mighty roar, gaining +1 SPEED and +1 STRENGTH for four turns.

You make a show out of trying to pull the sword out of an invisible rock. Suddenly, the sword slides free, and you hold it aloft. "EXCALIBUR!" you shout, and TRANSFORM into King Arthur, granting you +2 STRENGTH indefinitely or until the effect is dispelled.

Andrew and Parker are unnerved. The force of your MAKE BELIEVES makes the hair on their arms stand up. There's something frighteningly real going on here.

Andrew pushes through and attempts THE OL' ONE-TWO. Two hits, one critical, dealing 1.6 damage. You stand at 1.4 HUMOR.

Parker attempts to STRIKE Tayana and is taken off guard by her boosted SPEED, missing.

Tayana is fast enough to take another action this turn, and BLUDGEONS Parker's STRENGTH. The attack hits but fails to affect STRENGTH, dealing .8 damage. Parker stands at 1.2 HUMOR.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
Tumble!
Or does our sword have any special techniques?
>>
>>40332753
>JOKE
>LAUGH IT OFF (ourself)
>"Hah, you dare think you can hurt a KING?!"
>>
>>40332753
>HIT
Put the point up 'em. They don't like it up them, no sir!
>>
WHACK THE SHIT OUT OF THEM WITH OUR NERF SWORD. SHOVE IT DOWN THEIR THROAT.
>>
>>40332827
Nah, the sword's just got a STRENGTH boost.

>>40332994
>>40333014
Tayana attempts another BLUDGEON on Parker's STRENGTH but misses.

You whack Andrew, and whack him good, with THE OL' ONE-TWO. The latter of your two hits is critical. He takes 2.6 damage, and is K.O.d violently.

Parker STRIKES at Tayana, and fails critically, throwing out his arm for 1 STRENGTH damage and .4 damage, leaving him at .8 HUMOR.

Tayana STRIKES at Parker and hits, dealing 1.2 damage and K.O.ing him with ease.

The whole gym has been gathering around, but by the time they get there there's nothing to see. Andrew and Parker are downed, and you and Tayana are the victors. Cheers go up, drowning out the angry muttering of the lacrosse jocks.

The teacher takes Andrew and Parker to the nurse's office, and you and Tayana return to sparring.

>[continued]
>>
>>40333167
Hah, get wrekt Andrew!
Bow before the might of King Arthur-Greg!
>>
>>40333167
The next day at lunch, rumors about your fight with Andrew and Parker fly. You stop some of the more fanciful rumors involving missing limbs, but confirm that yes, you did become King Arthur.

Rumors fly, as well, that Andrew wants a rematch. They say he's bringing his little brother's fighting equipment. They say it's right after school. They say it's one-on-one and no adults around. They say meet him in the woods next to the school.

Amelia and Manuel say that, during gym, the lacrosse jocks huddled together- not playing, just muttering angrily- the whole period, occasionally shooting glares at the two of them. Amelia, for her part, returned the glares, AND stuck her tongue out.

When your dad picks you up after school, you tell him the whole story. He nods and says you should fight him, but you should go home and equip first. He also says that, if the lacrosse team was being fishy, you'd better have backup.
>Manuel
>Tayana
>Amelia
>>
>>40333361
>Manuel
Can't go wrong with our man Manuel
>>
Metagaming note: there will never be more than four characters in a fight. Reason being, I can't plausibly expect you guys to vote on every action for more than one character, and with four characters that's already three QM-controlled actions for every vote-controlled action.
>>
Manuel, tell him to bring his wizard costume and Thor's hammer.
>>
>>40333443
Lightning's not so useful in a forest
>>
>>40333488
you seem to think starting a forest fire in a childfight is a bad idea
>>
>>40333397
>>40333443
"Nice hat," says Manuel.

"Shut up," says Andrew. "You brought a friend. I told you to come alone."

"You let the grapevine tell him that, and given you also brought a friend I don't think you've got a leg to stand on," says Manuel.

"Shut up," says Andrew.

"Keep talking," says Greg. "You ready to get your butt kicked again, Andrew?"

"You ready to cry like a faggot, Faggot Faggotson?"
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
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>>40334003
FUCK
>>
MANUEL:
Make believe: Transformation (Merlin)
>>
>>40334003
>HIT
Solid damage helps before a joke.
>>
>>40334015
Also, JOKE on left kids Persona necklace and oni mask. What a weeb.
>>
>>40334088
Says the guy with the Sonic hair.
>>
>>40334215
shut up geek
>>
>>40334243
Stings, don't it turbo nerd? Maybe you'd like to make something of it.

This is too much fun.
>>
>>40334061
What do you think this would do for Manuel, out of curiosity? It's a hard rule that a TRANSFORM can't affect IMAGINATION (and probably not HUMOR either), which is what I would immediately think of. If you can come up with a good mechanical advantage for it, I'll allow it.

>>40334088
Is that a Persona thing? I was just going for Mardi Gras

>>40334082
You give Andrew THE OL' ONE-TWO with the yo-yo, but miss both times. Good thing you act twice this round!

Andrew TRANSFORMS into a shark to gain +1 STRENGTH and +1 SPEED for four rounds.

Parker TRANSFORMS into a cheetah for +2 SPEED for two rounds.

Manuel AGGRESSES Andrew for 1.8 damage, leaving Andrew at 2.2.

You call Parker a weeb, a comment Parker doesn't fully understand and is therefore unaffected by. Way to do nothing for the team this turn, Greg!
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
>>40334317
>MAKE BELIEVE
Sharks can't breathe on land!
>>
>>40334317
"How are you breathing air, dipwad?" you shout. Andrew is caught in the logic of his own IMAGINATION and falls to the ground gasping, losing this turn and the next three and losing .2 damage each turn. Nice going!

Parker STRIKES at you. He manages to hit, dealing 1.6 damage and leaving you at 2.4 HUMOR. Your spines deal him .4 damage, leaving him at 2.6 HUMOR.

Manuel AGGRESSES Andrew and Andrew taps out.

You attempt to ROTO-GARROTE Parker, but swing wide.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
>>
>>40334667
>LAUGH IT OFF
>HIT
>>
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>>40334317
well on second look, maybe not as much persona as i thought, but this is what came to mind.
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>>40334755
You LAUGH IT OFF for .6 damage, leaving you at 3.0 HUMOR.

Parker STRIKES at you but misses.

Manuel STRIKES at Parker with the warhammer and connects, dealing 1.6 damage and leaving him at 1.0 HUMOR.

You STRIKE at Parker with the yo-yo and hit, dealing .8 damage. Parker stands teetering at .2 HUMOR.
>HIT
>DEFEND
>MAKE BELIEVE
>JOKE
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>>40334918
>MAKE BELIEVE
"FINISH HIM!"
>HIT:BLUDGEON
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>>40334948
I dunno what precisely you mean by the first two lines, but put it this way: you hit and K.O. him.

Andrew is in the fetal position by a tree, and Parker is face-down bleeding from the nose.

Your dad comes into the woods with a first-aid kit. "You kids alright?"

"I don't know if you just mean us or if you mean them too, but Parker could use some help," says Manuel, pointing. Your Dad props him up, bandages his nose, and makes sure he's breathing.

Andrew is coming out of his shock. "You brought your dad? I said no adults!"

Your dad replies, "Well, I'm pretty sure you said 'one on one' too, but here I am bandaging up your friend who came with you, so isn't it good I came." Andrew flushes hot red.

When Parker comes to, your Dad offers them a ride home, which humiliates all of you equally. They decline and opt to walk, hanging their heads in shame.

Your dad smiles at you. "Knew you could handle it. Where to now, kiddoes?"
>The ice cream parlor!
>The video game arcade!
>Let's just go home.
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> A R C A D E B O Y Z
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>>40335097
>The video game arcade!
This is a special event.
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>>40335139
>>40335155
>POV SHIFT: Greg's dad
You take the boys to the arcade and give them a handful of quarters each. They run shrieking into the haze of flashing lights and sound effects, and you hang out at the bar with the other parents. Not that you drink to excess!

The TV above the bar switches from The Game (you pretend you know which Game that is) to a special broadcast. Missing child report. Blonde girl, mid-teens, unusual asymmetric haircut...

Your heart sinks as Melissa's picture swims into view.

The broadcast goes on to say that Melissa is believed to have been kidnapped by an ex-boyfriend, and may be seeking to cross state lines.

You'd better go to the police about this one, huh.
>[continue]
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>>40335317
"I should have come in earlier," you say.

"We're open 24/7!" the cheerful police officer says.

"No, I meant earlier in the week." It is getting late, though- the kids took forever spending their money at the arcade, and then you had to get Manuel home... et cetera. "But I wasn't sure if there was anything to report, exactly."

"Go on," says the officer, leaning forward in her chair.

"It's about the missing girl, Melissa." The cop's eyes light up. "I don't think she's been kidnapped, and I don't think the people looking for her are her guardians."

The cop's eyes darken again. You pull out the flier for the event. "I was given this, and so I took my kids, but it was a fighting ring with gambling and house fighters. Melissa was one of them. I got the sense that something was up..." You shrug. "And gambling on child combat's illegal on its own, but maybe she needed the money, right? I just wasn't sure."

You lean forward in your own chair. "But when I saw the missing person report, I had to come tell you guys about it. I think you're being bamboozled."

But you get the distinct impression she's not really listening to you anymore. She says, "Well, they have the paperwork making them her legal guardian. Of course, that can be faked. We'll investigate it. Thanks so much for coming in, sir."

You rise to leave, feeling an odd expression settle onto your face.

"Oh, and, sir?" You turn back to face her. "Don't talk about this with anyone, please. This is a case under investigation, and must be kept under wraps." She smiles, and it looks oily now. "I'm sure you understand."

Yeah, you do. "Of course, ma'am."

>END ARC
>END THREAD
>>
Oh, and my twitter's @extremeparentin if anyone wants to be notified of future threads. Thanks for being here, y'all!
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>>40335535
>police are in on it
Welp.

Thanks for running, EP.



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