are weed elves really any different from high elves and dank elves

That smoky mesquite flavor.

More tangibly flawed, more directly badass.

>>40314218
They fizz when you dip them in lemon juice.

>>40314285
>More tangibly flawed
this is a big one for me, at least
I'm willing to put up with a lot more of the usual 'long lived/master craftsmen/better than humans at everything except fucking' routine with a little bit of closed-mindedness, insecurity, and blinkered territorial mindset thrown in

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>>40314241
"Wood Elves aren't made of wood. Sea Elves aren't made of water. M'aiq still wonders about High Elves."

>>40314390
People tend to forget that Tolkein elves had that weird 'depression because of age' thing going on.

>>40314435

Possibly because it very rarely actually seemed to matter in the story.

High, Dark and other flavours of elves have a lot of Stated flaws, but in my experience Wood Elves seem to have more mundane flaws that they exhibit more often, making them mean a lot more and actually add some depth to Elves, rather than just being perfect but depressed/sadistic/whatever.

Because their cannibals

>>40314486
There's also the fact that most fantasy writers aren't really competent enough to do an actual depressed character well.

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>>40314218

Because if you don't admit to anything else, they'll drop you like an elk.

LIKE A FUCKING ELK.

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>not being a wood elf
>not trading in your int for str
>not living in a tree

Fucking weaklings my elf cousin's, weaklings.

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>>40314579
>That image

What does my wood elf wife look like? Because I'm not seeing a real downside here.

Besides being taken down like a fucking elk.

Chocolate elves are the best kind, anyone who says otherwise should be sodomized with a rake

>>40314672
she's probably cute in a savage way but smells like hell and hates fun

>>40314579
If the Wood Elf looks like shmion then I can probably get used to this deal

>>40314693

>Hates fun

She was at a feast, anon.

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That term is too broad. Most elves live in the woods. I got wild elves though.

>>40314218
Because they still sing the ancient dances from when the world was young and the spirits of the forest danced with them around the mighty festival fires. Joyous cants of the seasons and the hunt. Of lust and vengeance. Songs which tell the present and the future but have been passed down from the earliest of days.


Unlike the high elves who fancy themselves poets because they can make a lament for something that happened a thousand years ago.

>>40314754
>>40314693
>>40314672

But you'll age. Slowly but surely, your looks will fade, and she'll get tired of you.

You'll spend less and less time together, being sent to attend to other chores... Like tending the oddly lumpy back garden, with its long rows of identical mounds.

And one day, you'll see a new man come home with her, taking your place in her bed. But you can't leave... You can run, or you can wait, but either way you'll be just another mound in the turf.

>>40314244
kek

>>40314693
Probably smells like dirt and fresh-cut grass and loves fun, so long as you're not having it without her.

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>>40314822
There is more to a relationship that sex. By the time she replaces me in bed I probably have enough hip issues that I don't really want to spend 6 hours fucking anymore.

Simple anon.

They differed from the High Elves of the West, and were more dangerous and less wise.

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>>40314822
>implying I'll live to an old age anyway
Where's your sense of adventure!?

>>40314843
That actually sounds pretty nice, especially if you throw in on a rainy day.

I generally like my elves a little xenophobic and of questionable morals (not necessarily evil but certainly not what you would call good), which tends to fit wood elves better than others

I also like my elves to be a bit closer to fairly tail creatures than other humanoids, which again: Wood elves

I read a thread once about someone who made his elves all be really closely related to each other genetically (to the point where you can't tell them apart) and all hate eachothers guts for varying sometimes very petty reasons and are a dying race since they've been warring near constantly over every little thing for almost 3000 years.

Basically the elf Balkans

>>40314218
Because high elves are ponces and drow are all Drizz't clones.

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>>40314843

>She guts the elk by day
>I gut her by night

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>>40314218
I like them purple and #savage honestly.

>>40314285
>>40314579

also yes.

>>40314218
No, they aren't. They the most boring and blank of all elves.

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>>40314908

Bingo.

When those elf bitches latch on to you, they aren't letting go.

>>40314218
Because when people think of elves and dwarves they think of the stupid shit they've assimilated over exposure to nerd culture instead of any specific setting's elves and dwarves.
When they hear <subtype> elves, they immediately jump to thinking about either the things they like about what they think they've heard about that sub-type, or things they hate.

Either way, they aren't really the best because that varies from setting to setting, but most people who post on this board or who discuss /tg/ related items in general have never been exposed to a setting beyond popular movies, which tend to skim over the intricacies, or outside of a beer and pretzels game at most.

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>>40317505

Savage and purple is great.

Civilized elves a shit.

It's less about flaws and more about objective "power level". High elves tend to be presented as the big shots of whatever setting they're in (at least from among the common races), with the depiction ranging from "they're better at everything than everyone" to "the only reason the whole world isn't one beautiful high elf city is because they've got better things to do than conquer it". Wood elves sort of just exist in the forest. It's more palatable to people.

>>40314218
it's the atmosphere and feel they give.
high elves? decadent, dying out, magical nobles are a dime a dozen, they have pointy ears? how novel!
savages living as one with the forest aren't uncommon either, but the fey stalking the forest at least give a creepy vibe, and don't make you wish they'd just die already.

>>40318708
Not quite the way I would phrase it but I agree that the end result really is that "wood elves" are usually less arrogant than "High elves" or whatever their equivalents are in the setting.

>>40314218

Because you can search for a dual or shock and it comes in untapped of course.

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>>40319049
But can I get one with a multitap?

>>40314218

Slutty outfits.

That's pretty much it, really.

Nerds love scantily dressed "savages"

>>40314813
Nice, stolen for my Jungle Elves in my island setting.

>>40314812
Might've just been there for the food, or because it would've been a big social faux-pas to not attend.

>>40314822
>Implying you won't end up on her dinner table the moment you start getting too old to keep up with her

>>40314218
I like the idea of them as hyper conservative traditionalists. If elf generations are 100 years then they would only have had 100 generations between today and when humans invented farming. An elf reaching sexual maturity today would have been born only a little after the invention of powered flight. It makes sense that they would still be living in a very traditional manner, using tools that they mastered centuries ago.

Given the love for "savage wood elves" here, what examples of these elves do you have /tg/?
I'm mostly seeing warcraft references, and silly "quote defines a race" shit, kind of hoping there's actually more to see and read.

>>40314241
>elves are all stoners and drug addicts
a kindred spirit

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The only good elf is a dead elf

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>>40323500
I actually kind of skipped wood elves in my current setting - I have Moon Elves and Drow - but there are a couple of branches (har har) of those two that might qualify:

>Horror Elves - A clan of savage crater elves from the moon, came down in a comet, never left the crater and petrified forest they landed in. Murder anyone who comes into the petrified forest without a suitably large bribe (literally anything shiny will do, their entire world is grey and black and red) and paint the trees with their blood. Warriors wear massive petrified wood armor, look like Havel the Rock, and wield giant clubs or huge bows with heavy stone arrows. Somehow still manage to be stealthy. Have this kind of ritual combat where they hop around in armor on petrified tree stumps about 80 feet off the ground and try to knock each other off with clubs.

>Mud Elves - Maybe Drow exiles, or a bunch of elves who came down with the Drow but didn't hide underground and just... covered themselves in mud? Used to live in verdant forest, probably, but it became a swamp and they just sort of sank down with it. Adapted for swimming through bogs, breathe through hollow reeds. Cannibals who mainly prey on halfmen (literally a species which is half a human and hops around on one leg, unbelievably pathetic). Weapons are mainly made from like eel spines or baby condor spikes and shit, but generally like to grab you with their bare hands, drag you beneath the mud and drown you. War parties mainly swim below the surface but have a couple of watchers on long stilts. Completely terrified of fire, eat everything raw.

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>>40323820
>Faceless Elves - Definitely Drow exiles (Drow kick out a bunch of their population yearly who are weak and they can't afford to feed), but they settled down in an actual forest which is rich and filled with wildlife and stuff so they get by. Use bows and throwing spears and ropes and climbing claws, basically live on the sides and tops of trees all the time and only come down to the ground for war. Have domesticated giant raptors and giant flightless birds which their warrior caste ride. All wear masks - the type of wood the mask is made of and how it's painted/decorated say everything about your identity. Warrior masks have horns which they carve out of the bones of slain enemies, so top killers end up with like a hundred horns on their mask coming out everywhere like tumours. Consider anyone with a mask to be one of them (will still kill you because you won't be from a proper family or anything), anyone without to be an enemy. Slightly more civilized families on the periphery of the forest will sell friend masks to travelers to keep them safe (50:50 on whether it actually works most of the time). Will sell their masks and this means their entire identity - like a rich but unhappy faceless elf might trade his entire fortune and buy someone else's mask, which means all the other faceless elves now regard him as that masked elf.

There's also pale elves, who are like a big mercenary family that specialize in fucking up armies in forests (including faceless elves), and witch elves who are one giant international coven that usually live in the wilderness - half the current continent in my setting pretty much has local witches and covens instead of churches.

All elves in my setting are fucked up, never trust an elf, never. They don't think like you at all and they all consider themselves the only thing that really counts as 'people'.

>>40323500
There's also the Warhammer wood elves, who are isolationistic xenophobic fuckers who will murder you if you go into their forest (and occasionally murder people living too close to the forest), and deal with various nature spirits.
And the Elder Scrolls ones, who aren't actually particularly savage, but have customs that will probably seem like that for outsiders. They're forbidden from harming any of the plantlife in Valenwood so everything they build is made with non-organic or animal-based materials (or imported wood; their customs only apply to the plant life of their home province), or from living plants grown into shape, and they only eat meat. They also belive they must eat whatever they kill, which means that during wars they practice cannibalism.
Oh, and they're also actually unstable shapeshifting being bound into the shape of an elf by an ancient pact with a god/nature spirit (which is why they follow those rules about not harming plants and stuff), and can perform a ritual that allows some of them to revert to their original forms in times of great need (it's an one way thing, though; those that relinquish their elven form permanently become gretesque mindless horrors that exist only to kill their enemies).

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>>40323649

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Because they'll be more /fit/ than city elves
More approachable than high elves
And better taste in food and cooking skills than cave elves

On top of being every bit as intelligent, beautiful and magical as any other elves.

That said, I personally love every sort of elves.

>>40323281
>Cannibal wood elves who kidnap young men as sex slaves, then eat them when they become too old/worn down

That shouldn't be sexy...Right?

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>>40324261
By better taste I mean they will be more knowledgeable on how to prepare game, not actually *tasting* better, honest.

>>40324277
Probably not but danger boners are best boners

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>>40323649
>not realizing your organization exists as a Thalmor plot and that your leader is a Thalmor agent.

>>40314843
>Probably smells like dirt and fresh-cut grass
HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No, man, no.

Nature generally smells like ass. Literally.

>>40324526
Well, vore-elves are a thing. A suprisingly common, thing, actually. Or not. I probably should be particularly suprised that elves, being very popular and appearring in a ton of fantasy settings have a fair amount of artwork for any fetish.

>>40325850
>Well, vore-elves are a thing.
What?

>>40325850
I was thinking more along the lines of canabalism elves than vore elves

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Steppe elves

>>40326584
Fuck this gay earth.

>>40326584
>You never see sexy shortstack vore dwarf girls

>>40314969
how did he meet his end?

>>40314218
Alright, but what about wood dwarves or wood orcs?

What are your socioeconomic and yet very liberal opinions on the wood kobolds?

>>40314218
because dark elves , while flawed and usually interesting are massive arseholes, and high elves are better than thou pricks, leaving the elves to be a down to earth elves and or be more relatable and "badass"

Fucking wood elves and their weed shit. Be gardener and herbalist, plant roses and other plants, get wild shrooms for medicine, wood elves steal all the good and get high on the backyard amd i cant do anything about it.

I imagine why they dont get along with people

>>40327128
Wood dwarves live in the hollowed out root systems of staggeringly huge trees, which they tunnel through and link together. They're known for their potent fungus liquor and giant termite mounts. Obviously they also use axes.

Wood orcs are warbands that pillage and deforest entire regions to construct their ramshackle siege-tower and siege-castle homes, which they then rope up to an entire forest's wildlife and drive into new territories to lay waste once more. Sort of like medieval speed freekz.

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>>40314218
No idea. All flavors are equally tasty.

>>40327061
He died from being shot by a gun.

>>40325007
> t. American

>>40328503
American elf.

>>40324929
a thalmor agent that went rogue

Wood elves are basically slavs. Elf slavs.

>>40314218
I wouldn't say the best, all the elves are cool.

Wood Elves' appeal is that they are a delicate looking race that is wild and savage, in tune with nature. They are like forces of nature, or another animal in the forest.

Also, they are super sneaky archers.

>wood elf assassin archer forever

>>40324277
>>40324526

I wrote a story, can't fit the whole thing in a single post so here's the first part
>You will never be kidnapped by a /fit/ elf girl
>She will never drag you to her treehouse and snu snu you until your pelvis is too broke for you to walk
>She will never spend the next several months nursing you back to health all while going on and on about how much she loves you and you love her
>Why you can finally walk again any request to leave or attempt to escape will never be met with "I CAN DROP YOU LIKE A FUCKING ELK"
>You will never spend your time stuck in her treehouse, eventually growing ... content with your life as her house husband and learning to be satisfied with the peaceful if boring life you now live


And here's the rest
http://pastebin.com/euyMRJc6

>>40332444
>You will never be kidnapped by a /fit/ elf girl
Thank goodness. Muscle girls are disgusting.

>>40332468
My shit tastes > your shit tastes

>>40332444
>http://pastebin.com/euyMRJc6
You are doing things to my penis and I want it to stop

>>40332444
>Snu Snu from a wood elf
How the heck do you get snu snu'd by some 5' something chick whose muscle is mostly focused on running and climbing stuff all day, maybe occasional use of a low draw hunting bow? What happened to my Iron bell, that merchant owes me my money back, it doesn't keep away shit worth a dick of any sort of magical creatures. Why doesn't the guy just make a fire while she's out hunting and burn the forest to the ground?

>>40332683
Large mature trees aren't that easy to burn, a fire would mostly get the forest floor

Also, she's track him down and drop him like an elk if he ran

>>40332683
The reason most of the forest fires we have now are so devastating is because we actively stop the small ones
Most forest's ecosystems have evolved to assume periodic small fires sweeping through burning dead leaves/trees and leaving fertile ash for new growth while not really doing anything to old growth trees in the fire's path
A forest fire would either not get very far, or would be a sweeping inferno depending on how much the elves are fucking with the ecosystem

>>40332737
>tracking him down
>when his tracks have been buried beneath ash and every other trace fo his passing consumed in a great blaze
Really, you're just harping on an old, unfunny meme at this point.

>>40332803
The whole conversation chain was based off on that old unfunny meme

>>40332792
We have forest fires that blaze across entire provinces because we actively put them out, but in nature with zero human interference there woulds till be plenty of forest fires that'll be perfectly capable of burning down her whole elf village never mind just her little tree house she has you locked up in. Give me three summer days without rain and you can burn down a sizable chunk of the woods real easy.

>>40331451
This is true.

>>40323820
I like the mud elf concept. I think every setting with multiple elf species needs one cannibal swamp elf tribe.

>>40325007
But nature asses don't smell too bad. Your shit stinks mostly because you eat crap food that's partially toxic, if you ate like a wood elf, your ass would smell better within a matter of months.

Probably because they like it doggy style OP.
That and they fuck like rabbits.

Meanwhile Drow are more likely to skin you like one.

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>>40333120
>literally arguing that their shit stinks better than ours

>>40333044
>Three summers without rain
>in Elven territory
There's a reason Elves don't use fossil fuels anymore, anon.

>>40333150
Well, it would. Ever smell wolf scat? I have. It smells nothing like dog shit. Because wolves don't eat human food.

>>40333197
That's not what I said and I don't get your joke or why you spoilered it.

>>40333245
>Ever smell wolf scat?
WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER DELIBERATELY SMELL SHIT OF ANY KIND?

It's a useless argument, because it's not like the shit will ever smell pleasant.

>>40333245
You're quite the connoisseur of shit, aren't you Anon?

>>40314218
well they aren't high elves/dark elves and that adds enough depth to make them interesting, that's why different interpretations vary so much. I love that about -blank- elves

>>40333269
>not tracking beasts of the wild
>not slaying them with your hands

Are you not a man?!

Debating posting chocolate elves, but I'd have to sift through lewd to get safe ones.

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>> not having mid-90's grimdark elves.

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mfw this entire thread

>tfw you will never be taken under the wing of a fit qt wood elf and helped become a fit qt human
>and then fuck forever, in like weird positions and shit

>>40328121
lame

>>40332444
>>You will never investigate a group of lost young men
>You will never accidentally come across a young-looking elf maiden in the river
>You will never avert your eyes before she declares that you are her husband
>You will never follow her to her house, duty-bound to see her affections through
>You will never outshoot her and outhunt her, amazing her
>You will never refuse her physical affection until an appropriate cleric comes to bear
http://pastebin.com/BPUaJgMh

>>40334090
Pathetic knife ear sympathizer detected.

Kill yourself weakling, you don't deserve the honour of calling yourself a human.

>>40326457

Who believe that by reenacting the past deeds of their ancestors, they are keeping their spirits alive.

And their ancestors were warriors who fought against foes more powerful than themselves and succeeded mostly due to guerrilla warfare, hit-and-run tactics, and their ability to wait foes out. Running around performing one-on-one fights against foes of equal/lesser power doesn't cut it.

So one of your clans hires itself out as mercenaries on another continent, then turn on their employers, carve out a chunk of their former kingdom they were supposed to protect for themselves, and then proceed to harass all the other major military powers in the hopes that they'll invade, so they can reenact the drawn out bloody asymmetric war that your ancestors fought long ago.

In the meantime, all the other Elves think you're crazy and do their usual thing, which includes pissing off the dragons on Dragon Kingdom Island with unprovoked attacks.

Because muh spirits.

>>40333269
>WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER DELIBERATELY SMELL SHIT OF ANY KIND?

If you live out in the country and go into the wilderness, you encounter animal shit.

>>40327836
I would think they would be more pragmatic than wood elves about foreigners in their woods though besides the inevitable "muh property"

>>40332444
>whyboner.jpg

>>40336781
>Your party continues to trek through the wilderness when
*rolls dice*
>The party cleric steps in animal shit

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/tg/ seems to really appreciate Wood Elves, especially over most other Elves, but what about Forest Gnomes?

>>40337861
All gnomes are the worst

>>40318708
I prefer Wood Elves to be more all-powerful within their woods, but pretty much autistic rangers outside of them.

That, and their power is gained from their symbiosis WITH the woods, so they have strange and bizarre rules that are internally logical, but can't respond to changing situations because the overmind of the forest doesn't exactly understand abstract concepts.

So, you can either work with them and not question anything, or try to work so far out of their frame of reference that they just ignore you - or kill you outright. It's a risk.

Do not try to bang the Wood Elf, because you will become a tree that sprouts baby elves like in Transdermal Celebration.

>>40338358
what makes you say that m8?

>>40314218
What kind of elf is several hundred feet tall and extremely lustful? That's the kind of elf I want.

I wanna crawl in her dungeon.

>>40332444
Reminds me of that one bit of greentext along time ago about an elf who keeps her human husbands around via trap the soul on gemstones she uses for anal beads

>>40338470
>What kind of elf is several hundred feet tall and extremely lustful?
Best elf

>>40328941
An agent that doesn't even realize he's an agent. That's the best kind, because it gives the Thalmor plausible deniability when he's captured by Imperials.

That's why the Tatius was stalling the Thalmor ambassador and her staff during the execution, to prevent them from recovering him and having him "escape" elsewhere.

Ulfric is a Thalmor tool, and he doesn't even realize it.

>Elf
>No futa

A SHIT

>>40337861
A best.
The only thing better is the qt tinkerer/crafter.

>>40337861
I want to sniff her armpits

>>40338927
I bet they smell like dirt and fresh cut grass

>>40337767
> You will never be devoured by a cute elven maiden

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>>40314218
>Wood Elves
That's a most unusual way to spell "Brown elves"

>>40314218
Because like a pretentious furry you push your fetish everywhere and into everything.

>>40339314
But that's a human and an alien.

>>40337861

Around Gnomes, Go Prone.

Oh fuck if only I could find the screencap of the guy sitting all hippie like in a park when a group of tourists or something comes along and he pretends to be an elf.
If someone can post it I'd be eternally grateful. I'm continuing searching my shit

>>40314218
Competent, clean, hippies can be fun.
Compare to the obscenely arrogant high elves or the generally evil worshipping or at least sadistic dark elves and who would you want to hang out with?
I mean, entitled shitheels and deranged monsters can be good for parties and fetish events, but usually, they are no fun.

>>40338771
He ends up fucking up the only way to stop himself from fucking himself over (becoming High King) as well. Even if he wins the civil war, he keeps the previous High Kings wife in charge, leaving enough Imperial sympathizers around to call in the Legion for a second go.
The legion isn't going to just think "oh well" and leave it, of course they are going to keep on trying if there are people who want them to, which is exactly what those damn Elves want to happen.

God I hope by the next game the Wood Elves get fed up and go all wildhunt and devour their damn asses.

>>40339763
I know exactly what you're talking about but I unfortunately don't seem to have it

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>>40339314

>>40328503
>>40333120
Look, no. Forests generally stink. Natural, that is, (mostly) untouched by human hands forests really fucking smell. Shit dies and rots all the damn time always, except during winter, where stuff just dies. But come spring, holy shit it rots so fucking fast.

>>40340828
>Look, no. Forests generally stink. Natural, that is, (mostly) untouched by human hands forests really fucking smell. Shit dies and rots all the damn time always, except during winter, where stuff just dies.

I don't know what forests you go into, but I don't think I've ever stepped foot into one that just smells like a bunch of rotting animals. Very rarely have I walked up on a dead animal that hasn't long since been picked apart and reduced to bones and dried skin.

Do your forests not have scavengers?

And the decomposing plant matter under the leaves/pine needles and fallen trees don't smell bad at all.

>>40340828
Which forests do you go to anon???

>>40336742
The Tairnadal religion actually works. Its one of the few canon religious facts in the setting

>>40328941

Sure, keep telling yourself that.

>>40340828
Are confusing forests with swamps/mashes? Cause those will smell somewhat bad, forests not so much.
I say this as someone from a long line of hicks, unless you're right near a dead animal or standing in shit a forest won't smell nearly that bad

>>40339220
>Your final resting place will never be a bit of chub n her thighs

>>40339552
I wasn't aware elves count as furry

>>40340493
Really though either civil war ending is a bad one for the Thalmor because no matter which side wins the problem is they won way to SOON for the Thalmor.

Part of their shit is that they're pretending to be much better off after the war than they actually are and they, like everyone else, need a bit of time to lick their wounds.

A united and strong empire OR an immediate hoard of pissed off barbarians both throw a wrench in their big dumb world destroying plans.

Unrelated:
I have a love hate relationship with Elder Scrolls wood elves, in theory they're awesome, their lore is awesome, everything about them is pretty cool.

But I swear there is an active plot to make absolutely every wood elf npc a complete weenie and/or the most hateable character in each game (or in the case of morrowind probably the entire top three in some people's books)

>>40342322
He said people in this thread are like furries, not that elves themselves are furry.

You see, like furries, many posters in this thread immediately hop to fetishistic reasons as to why something is good or best, which while not too abnormal on 4chan, is considered abnormal and freakish among conversations with people who aren't also going to just randomly spew their fetish information at you.

>>40342346
They guy in Skyrim who helps you infiltrate the Thalmor embassy is pretty cool. He's willing to risk his life to help you infiltrate the embassy and hopefully obtain some information (the best case scenario after the events athe embassy for him is that he'll have to go underground and spend rest of his life avoiding Thalmor agents that want him dead for treason. Worst case is that he gets killed by them during the quest).

>>40340828

Jesus christ man go outside. Forests do not stink like a wheat field might do, animal feces and rotting leaves and wood smell very different. The latter is very subtle and smells kinda fresh unless your way of measuring is by the side of a road.

Forests don't smell like compost because everything is spread out. This is especially true for boreal forests.

>>40340828
Look at this nerd. Doesn't even know what spring smells like.

>>40342561
Well that depends on what material it's made out of, silly.

>>40340828
HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING LEFT YOUR HOUSE?! Holy shit.

>>40333120
>>40333150
>You will never meet a qt but annoyingly haughty wood elf girl
>You will never get in an argument with her about her "elven superority" thing
>You will never call bullshit on her claim that her shit don't stink nearly as bad as a human's
>She will never grab your head and shove you face in her ass telling you to see for yourself

>>40342629
>you will never be too weak to resist getting shoved around by an elf woman
Thank goodness.

>>40340828
...What?

Have you never been outside? Forests do not stink. They're not generally mires of corpseflesh and rotting feces you describe - things that stink will indeed be spread out within them, but that's not all they are made of, and scavengers will make quick work of much of these things anyway.

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>>40342629
>She will never rip off your head and shit down your neck.

>>40337861
amazing travel agents

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>>40340828
I think you may be mistaking a garbage dump for a forest anon, it's not that bad

>>40342661
>Resist getting an up close look at dat elf booty
Why?

Huh, my thought process just went
forest -> those asshole wild hogs -> orcs
Would it make sense for pig orcs to be a wood orc subrace and "normal" orcs be the main one?

>>40342736
If I want a close look at her ass, I'll get it, and there will be nothing she can do about it.

I remember one campaign I did came down entirely to a predator style guerrilla combat match with an elf in the woods.
Felt like my ranger was Arnold Schwarzenegger for the rest of the campaign.

>>40317505
You forgot to say far too tall And Perfect warriors etc etc.

>>40342785
That actually sounds pretty cool

I'd like to see Pig Orcs show up in fantasy more often instead of just being rape monsters in hentai

>>40342828

Do tell us more.

>>40342265
>The Tairnadal religion actually works. Its one of the few canon religious facts in the setting

A lot of shit works in Eberron. It's a magical place.

Tairandal are still assholes.

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>>40340828
t. city dweller

>>40343618
The fuck does that t. mean?

>>40343761
After extensive research into memeology I've arrived at conclusion that it means "regards", or finnish "terveiset". It is one of successes of Finland's triumphant campaign in securing the untamed shoals of the Internet.

>>40343926
Huh, thanks, not really something Id expect to become a meme

>>40344013
Everything become a meme.
And a large number of memes stem from Finnish chans.

>>40343618
That, or went into an actual rainforest. Which are the only ones that really deserve the title.

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>>40344161
>damage control
>still full of shit

>>40344559
If I stuck my hand in there would I die?

>>40333069
Like hillbillies.

>>40344690
It would be extremely uncomfortable

>>40338463
The fact that they're the worst.

>>40344797
Its a big plant

>>40344843
For your olfactory organ.

>>40333069
>cannibal
>elf
You repeat yourself

>>40344810
I don't mind the idea of gnomes/halflings but I don't get why both need to be a major race

>>40344690
No but it would smell like rotting meat like that flower does
It's also big enough to stick your head in there

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>>40344161
>only rainforests deserve to be called forests
>rainforests smell like shit all the time everywhere

Backtracking out of the bullshit... into even more bullshit.

>>40342346
Its not ideal, but a Stormcloak victory is still a win for the Thalmor because it further divides humanity.The Redguards had the covert support of an entire legion in their spat with the Dominion, something a lot of people don't know.

Also, the Tower in that region got deactivated, so the next time they have to venture into Fantasy-Afghanistan, it will be to murder everything.

>>40343291
I thought about using them occasionally, but you pretty much never see them outside of hentia so I wasn't sure if it would really work, having them be the equivalent of wild hogs in the setting might be a good way to work them in

Lewd brown elves

>>40350473
you never see them any more, but look back a while and they're all over the place

they even show up in star wars

>>40353116
>they even show up in star wars
where?

>>40355163
Jabba's guards, Anon. Gamoranians or whatever the fuck they're called. EU did something with them, I'm sure (but it's not like EU counts for much.)

The Rancor ate one.

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>>40317505

>tfw WoW destroyed gender roles in their society and made them tame lawful good PETA elves

>>40342346
What most fail to realise (both in-game and in real life oddly enough, so I guess they are good at it), is the Thalmors military might is all theatrics. They spend everything on their initial attack to look bigger and stronger than they are. Most of their work was done before the Empire even knew they were at war. Had the Emperor looked at a nearby portrait of Pelinal Whitestrake and decided "No, FUCK Elves". then it would have turned around into a massive curbstomp in the Empires favour.

Speaking of the Aldmeri Dominion being sneaky bastards, am I the only one that thinks its odd how a small group nobody even cared about were able to do so much in the oblivion crisis? I mean, considering the Mythic Dawn was founded by Altmer, I wouldn't be surprised if they opened the damn portals themselves. Since Dagon is the prince of ambition as well as destruction, it wouldn't be out of character for him to let them do it, especially since the only region he cared about was Cyrodil - he just needed the others kept busy so they couldn't send help.

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>>40355324
>tame
>lawful good
>PETA

>>40323500
In Song of Swords they have them
Imagine The Predator but an elf with baboon-like strength
And also a bunch of spiritual restrictions
That's the whole race

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>>40323820
I went with jungle elves.

Short, brown, androgynous ninjas with a love of dressing up in jaguar skins like Aztecs and wabi sabi to the point that it's an insult to give a something new to someone older because it implies they're neophytes, they've lost what you gave them, or they're not worthy of something with a legacy. They see a new sword or bow or arrow or spear and think, "How can I trust my life with something that hasn't even been tested?"

They're too small and weak to fight face to face, so they employ ambushes and copious amounts of poisons and scare tactics.

>>40347447
Well, the Redguard situation is different. They'd always considered themselves somewhat autonomous, and even if they didn't really maintain their own military they have an amazingly strong warrior culture. And I thought most of the legions in Hammerfell were withdrawn to take back the Imperial City, anyway.

>>40355574
Their magic is still pretty powerful, considering how heavy the losses the Empire took to retake the Imperial City were. I think a few Legions were nearly outright destroyed, as well as several others weakened.

It didn't help that the Empire's unity was tenuous at best at this point, since Morrowind and Hammerfell both got pissed off at the rest of the Empire at this point, and the Empire as a whole wasn't exactly happy after the last string of would-be Emperors who took control after the Septims. It's not just a question of military vs. military, because the Thalmor have the willing or unwilling support of the people they control while the Empire can't risk being that harsh.

I can't be sure if he simply just left them alone or not, but if there's one thing the altmer hate it's daedra, so they wouldn't willingly work along with the Mythic Dawn. Besides, I think they were already working on their own shit at that time, since several NPCs mentioned something being up on the Summerset Isles.

I do think they might have had something to do with the original plans of Jagar Tharn, though, who was reported to be part Altmer.

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>>40342346
> immediate hoard of pissed off barbarians

won't do anything but help the new king clamp down on the rest of Skyrim. Even if they did venture out of Skyrim, the Empire or House Redoran would ass-fuck them the second they left their home turf.

>>40355574

The most powerful spellcasters in the world are Altmer by far, they aren't faking that shit. When it comes to magic, the races of Men are SoL, especially since sword-singing is essentially dead and the LDB is gonna get put on a boat because PC's never do anything past the games.

The Empire does have the 1008 Cyrodiillic weapons of Rapture (SP?), but they are dangerous to use.

>>40357517
>And I thought most of the legions in Hammerfell were withdrawn to take back the Imperial City, anyway.

They were, but the "wounded" were summarily discharged before the legions set out. The Wounded amounted to roughly a legion. The Elder Council are big time suscribers of Realpolitik, and the regular citizens of Hammerfall probably aren't in the know like their leaders are, thus enhancing the duplicity. Ulfric/The Thalmor fucked everything up the second he started his rebellion, as the Empire was merely playing lip-service to the treaties as they rebuilt.

>>40314244
Man, I know mesquite makes for good BBQ, but FUCK that plant! I had one of those fuckers go right through my shoe and sock and into my flesh. Has to walk a half mile with it in my foot before I could get to somewhere with a pair of pliers so I could get the leverage to yank that sucker out. Bled like no ones business.

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>>40358164
I am mostly in agreement with you about this stuff - if the Empire does get out of this, they are going to be a leaner and meaner machine forged by strife and ready to take on the Aldmeri Dominion. Hopefully with patched up relations with the provinces they snubbed.

But if the Stormcloaks win and do want to take over Tamriel, instead of staying stubbornly insular in Skyrim and cutting Cyrodiil off from the last other provience officially under the Imperial banner (High Rock), who's gonna resist them?

Morrowind is dealing with all sorts of shit right now and wouldn't be able to put up a good fight, the confederacy of kingdoms in High Rock are fighting amongst themselves at the best of times (and the Orcs of Orsinium would probably love some help against their traditional enemies, especially considering how many Orcs are in Skyrim now), and Cyrodiil would have nothing else to throw at them and would at best doggedly resist an invasion before the Thalmor tried to halfsies.

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>>40358460
>But if the Stormcloaks win and do want to take over Tamriel, instead of staying stubbornly insular in Skyrim and cutting Cyrodiil off from the last other provience officially under the Imperial banner (High Rock), who's gonna resist them?

Meta-answer: The Numidium

Anyone with enough troops to defeat a Legion, especially if they use a lot of magic. Seriously, that's all the imperial forces that was in Skyrim, a single Legion. And they had the rebellion crushed until a walking plot-device was carted into Helgen, and only if a Stormcloak victory is canon. Like I said earlier, the Last Dragonborn is out of the picture. The Dominion would also laughably kick the shit out of a barbarian horde who doesn't have a homefield advantage.

That said, House Redoran is basically America after the second world war. They are currently more than capable of countering a cocky united Skyrim, especially since the Stormcloaks neglect magic and magic is a way of life in Dunmer culture.

Also, the Stormcloak movement is held up basically by Ulfric. Who knows the extent of the Thalmor's grasp on him. For all we know, Elewen could just utter a command phrase and Ulfric would unconsciously find himself licking the mud off her boots. Never discount the Thalmor, remember what happened to the Blades.

>>40358228
so this is what AC0 looks like

>>40358764
The Numidium was destroyed/disappeared during the Warp in the West.

Considering how evenly Skyrim was split, I doubt it was necessarily going to be an easy victory, especially considering who was in command of the Imperials. Tulius is smart, but did not respect Nordic customs at all, would probably eventually anger the Jarls who stayed loyal to the Empire. He's more a military man than a diplomat. They might win in the end, but it'd be a long fight plagued with internal squabbling.

I still don't really think Ulfric is a pawn of the Thalmor, though. Even if they did make him into some sort of a pawn during his Great War torture, they couldn't have possibly manipulated the chain of events that they did that first got him in trouble with the Empire, made him Jarl, and then had him kill Torygg. At most they might have indirectly created the anti-Imperial sentiment in Skyrim with their presence and their anti-Talos shit, and the Thalmor could have taken advantage of him and tried to keep him alive.

>>40314218
Because they give you the wood?
Come on, someone must have already said it.

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>>40359366

>>40359413
> no elf eternal shota to cuddle with
Why live?

>>40359442
>No elf eternal shota and forever MILF to cuddle with
Fixed for you
Elf shota and musclegirl are fine too

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>>40359472
> not an elven shota and a well-built orc in his fifties

>>40359472
>shota/milf
>shota/musclegirl
Your boring as shit vanilla is showing.

>>40359442
Imagine how much it would suck for the elf, though.

No one will ever take him seriously aside from you because he looks like a kid. And even then, the main reason that you like him is that he looks childish. And with that being the basis of your relationship, that will eventually grind at him - especially as you simply get older and older while he stays young and long-lived.

>>40359502
>well-built orc
Not really my thing, I like my guys to have more of a swimmer's physique

>>40359533
...you want me to go into my vore and/or TF fetish?

>>40359575
>especially as you simply get older and older while he stays young and long-lived.
Nah, he's a wood elf, he'll just kill you in your sleep then eat you and move onto the next sugar daddy if you get too old

>>40359575
Eh, I treat adult people as children when I feel they act childish and vice versa, and children aren't taken seriously because they do act like children: someone who's obviously mentally mature will get proper treatment from people who aren't completely clueless. And besides, if he gets himself some job with a measure of authority (like a uni professor, and we definitely need more shota professors who fully recognise and utilise how insanely cute that is), he'd get his proper treatment all he wants.
>>40359646
Eh, for me it's "in his fifties" part.
> any age
> not liking mature man
ISHYGDDT

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>>40359679
> sneaky shota prostitutes
That's my greatest shota fetish.

>>40359693
I will admit to prefering younger guys, but that's just cause it's rare for a guy in their 50s to have the body type I like
Also, going by half orcs, 50s would be borderline Venerable for an orc, it's doubtful he'd be able to get it up at that age

>>40359693
Do you really treat an adult who's acting childish like a child? Because it's probably not a good idea to give them cookies or use 'because I said so' as an explanation for why they can't do something or tell them to sit in the corner. Kids don't usually like that, adults definitely won't.

That said, if you were a dean or president of a university or something, would you really let someone who looks like a teenager at best try to teach a class full of young adults? He'd be the laughingstock of the student body and wouldn't be taken seriously, and it would be too much of a risk to hire him. Also besides what would a wood-elf teach.

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>>40359713
>Pictured, two wood elf shotas looking for their new sugar daddy, after "finishing" off the last one

>>40359792
in retrospect probably should have found a pic of a brown shota but I don't know any murderous ones with that high of a body count off the top of my head, plus it's 3 Am here
Just imagine they're brown

>>40359755
D&D elves age pretty fast and certainly aren't ageless, either, so let me entertain the idea of an eternal daddy-type orc.
> give them cookies or use 'because I said so' as an explanation for why they can't do something or tell them to sit in the corner
Holy fuck, m8, we were talking about a shota (around 12 years old physically), not a bloody kindergarten ward.
> He'd be the laughingstock of the student body and wouldn't be taken seriously
If he knows and explains his subject well, nobody's going to dismiss him.
> what would a wood-elf teach
I don't remember them having a mental block on what they can and can't teach. He might be a physics teacher or a sex ed instructor.

>>40359713
>1000 year old shota elf whore
>Has gotten really really good at playing spot the pedo and milking them for everything they're worth, both money and the D
>Almost as good as he is at cooking humans

>>40359878
I'm going to sell my kidney and hire a shota artist to draw this shit. Probably Shimaji, it's not that far from what she usually draws, though the shota being the aggressor would be somewhat new, though it's not like it can't fit in.

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>>40359227
http://c0da.es/

Skyrim is currently Fantasy Afghanistan. Their main strength right now is the landscape, especially with the rampant ethnocentrism that alienates anyone who is not a Nord. The Nords by themselves are a shadow of what they once were, especially in regards to magic, hence the guerrilla campaign.

>They might win in the end, but it'd be a long fight plagued with internal squabbling.

This the Dominion would get behind and encourage.

We don't know the extent of his conditioning, only that the Dominion roughed him up and put him in a situation where he could do the most damage and give them an excuse to start their inquisition. If he isn't a pawn, he's probably gonna do the smart thing and consolidate his power and get ready for the Dominion invasion that he's sure will happen. The problem with that is he won't have the other races of men helping him because his movement has alienated them.

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>>40359853
My mistake about the kindergarten ward thing. I thought you were saying that you treated adults acting childish like children. Still probably not a good thing to do with a shota, since he'd be particularly sensitive about it.

He might not get dismissed if he gets the post, sure. But if students can find it hard to take someone seriously because of how they look or an accent, I think they're going to chuckle over their child teacher a few times. And he'd get some creepy girls in his classes guaranteed who aren't in it to learn.

Oh come on, it's a wood elf who's been stuck as a kid since forever. Did his forest just get chopped down and he went to a trade school or something and everyone just thought he was the teacher's kid? I'd doubt he'd know physics, or the biology needed for sex ed (which wouldn't be a college course anyway. You'd probably get sexuality and women's studies or something).

Unless this is a cheap hentai storyline, none of this makes sense and just takes away from the wood-elf part of the character as you try to justify the shota part.

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>>40360051
> I thought you were saying that you treated adults acting childish like children.
Not literally to the point where I will actually tell them to go into a corner, for fuck's sake! I talk to them slowly, repeat my words several times for them to understand, etc.
> But if students can find it hard to take someone seriously because of how they look or an accent, I think they're going to chuckle over their child teacher a few times.
And? I know a lot of teachers like that, people still listen to them because they're teachers, not clowns out there to entertain them.
> And he'd get some creepy girls in his classes guaranteed who aren't in it to learn.
Eh, I know I'd rake up a lot of hours on an elf shota's class. And pic related.
> Did his forest just get chopped down and he went to a trade school or something and everyone just thought he was the teacher's kid?
Why couldn't he have come out of the forest simply because he's not a walking stereotype (bear with me for now) and he wanted a different lifestyle than "you're now a monkey with a fucklong lifespan, enjoy your bananas"?
> Unless this is a cheap hentai storyline, none of this makes sense and just takes away from the wood-elf part of the character as you try to justify the shota part.
I don't even know why the fuck do wood elves live in the woods, are they just stupid? All I want is to have an eternal shota and this thread is just an excuse. Now let me daydream about it in peace.

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>>40359972
Bad Todd Howard! You don't need the world destroyed to remake it from scratch. That's what retcons are for. That way you can just keep what you want. also it's weird and confusing and I don't quite get it so far but if you like it that's cool?

>>40360152
No, this thread is not your excuse, and you're allowed to daydream in your mind all you want. You want to daydream with me, you gotta think out all the internal logic, because that makes it better, and then my face can finally be pic related.

Also, I never said wood elves were monkies. They just pretty obviously live in forests, and traditionally have had forest cities or something like that.

>>40314435
This, for sure.
I often depict older High Elves as aloof and generally unpleasant.

My favorite brand of Wood Elf are the Bosmer from The Elder Scrolls lore.
>live on giant sapient, migrating trees
>constant border disputes with marauding beastmen and High Elves
>revere nature to the point of not eating/using any plant matter save for maybe fungi
>eat only meat, fish, insects and make fermented milk liquor
>cannibalistic
>evoke eldritch horror magic when losing a war that transforms all survivors of battle into ever changing masses of flesh and animal parts in scorched earth policies

In-game they're represented as the goofy, lame elf dorks and town weirdos though.

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>>40360390
Normally, I'd agree, but it could be the only way for them to distance their game from the MMO that's been transcription erroring things. Rumor on the street is they aren't happy with the guidance, especially when Todd and Co. are huge fans for the meta side of the games.

He may have been alluding to it in Dragonborn.

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>>40360768
>The Wild Hunt is a pack of shifting forest-demons and animal-gods, thousands strong, which sweeps through the countryside killing everything its [sic] path. — Eric of Guis[1]
A flood of horrific beasts, tentacled toads, insects of armor and spine, gelatinous serpents, vaporous beings with the face of gods, all poured forth from the great hollow tree, blind with fury. — A Dance in Fire, Chapter 4
The Wild Hunt is a magical trait innate to all Bosmer. It is brought on by a collective ritual performed by many Bosmer, causing them to shapeshift into a horde of feral, supernatural beasts. These monsters stampede, changing their form constantly, slaying and devouring all in their path and eventually, when left with no surviving targets, turn upon themselves in a "cannibalistic orgy".[2] This transformation is seen by the Bosmer as a return to the chaos of the Dawn Era, when they were unable to hold onto one shape for more than a moment. After they made the Green Pact with Y'ffre, he taught the Bosmer how to escape that chaos and retain their form, but also how to return to it by instigating the Wild Hunt.[3] These shapeshifters are said to be able to take on a gaseous form which makes them impossible to contain without the aid of magic.[4] There's even some suggestion they can take on the form of water.[1]

Why couldn't this be the Wood Elf racial ability in Skyrim?

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>>40360768
Imagine how horrible it must be for city bosmer. People constantly put herbs on your meat, wonder why you always refuse a salad and go on about how it's so healthy, and the bartender laughs when you ask for a glass of milk.

>>40360783
I think everyone can agree the MMO was a mistake. I just don't know if blasting the universe down to rebuild is the answer, when the MMO could be quietly shuffled under the rug as not being canon. There's still so many opportunities, and a whole new world means you have to get rid of everything that once was.

Maybe I haven't looked enough into the lore or the games to see the stuff I wouldn't like or find the glaring mistakes, but I like the Elder Scrolls. It's both comfortingly normal fantasy yet crazily exotic, somewhere I can dance the line between both.

>>40361003
AFAIK the wild hunt's supposed to be irreversible, it wouldn't make for good gameplay if you had to reload a save after using your racial ability.

In A Dance in Fire, it also seems to be part of a ritual that takes some time to finish.

Yeah, it would have been a pretty sweet racial ability.[\spoiler]

>>40359646
>...you want me to go into my vore and/or TF fetish?
Didn't we cover the former already upthread?

>>40361037
I believe the Green Pact only applies to the plantlife in Valenwood (the bosmer have no problems with building stuff from imported lumber, for one). So a bosmer living somewhere else would not be required to abstain from eating plants. Although if raised in the traditional bosmer culture, they would probably find the idea of eating plants uncomfortable even if it would technically be okay.

>>40361037
I don't think the point of C0da is to wipe the timeline after the MMO. It's bene in plans for longer than the MMO has been, I think.
It's purpose is to give a distant future finale to the ES universe by tying up some plot elements that probably wouldn't be adressed in any of the games (such as Numidium) and offering conclusion to the setting. In the end, time returns to the state it used to be before Convection, Aka and Lorkhan get unfucked and all the alternate timelines can coexist simultaneously without fucking up Aka again.

>>40358764
>For all we know, Elewen could just utter a command phrase and Ulfric would unconsciously find himself licking the mud off her boots.
D-don't toy with my fetishes anon.

>>40328941
A thalmor agent that THINKS he's rogue.

Fighting the Empire is still being a Thalmor pawn.

>>40333870
But I do.

Post-apocalyptic North-America campaign.

Elves are the descendants of rich people that got germline improvements to their genetics and thus passed them on to their offspring after civilization collapsed.

>>40362631
Why not
descendants of wealthy and powerful secret cabal of nerds and their harems of gene-modded pointy eared concubines?

>>40363204
>wealthy and powerful
>nerds

Because when you're wealthy and powerful enough to do whatever the fuck you want you usually throw away the wants and desires of the autistic neckbeard, as those become nothing more than a weekend vacation.

It also adds absolutely nothing of value to the post you replied to, instead just feeling like someone was jerking it to the idea.

>>40363225

Well it would explain why the rich became elves rather than just people with utility genemods.

The mesquite smoke and honey-mustard marinade I belive.

>>40359227
When they found out Ulfric was the Jarls son, they convinced him he was more important than he actually was by making him think what he told them was responsible for the fall of the imperial city, when in truth he was worthless and the Thalmor had already largely won that battle.
Because of that was released he felt he had something to prove, so ended up kicking the reachmen out of markarth, then the Thalmor, giddy with excitement, ordered his arrest because of all the Talos worship they knew he would inevitably set up, which is one of the biggest contributing factors to him starting a rebellion.

>>40359227
The chronology of events:

1.Beginning of the great war and the Thalmor invasion of Cyrodill and Hammerfell
2.Thalmor agents stir up shit and incite the Forsworn to rebel so they don't have to fear Nord troops.
3.Ulfric gets captured and is tortured for information thanks to him being able to use the Thuum which kinda makes one stand out.
4.They find out he's the Jalrs son and decide to make him into a pawn.
5.Let him escape with a covert Thalmor agent who gets him connected with the overthrown Jarl of Markarth and the Silverbloods.
6.Markarth incident happens where he goes full genocide to ''prove him self''.
7.The empire and legion ain't having any of that after the Thalmor start pressuring them.
8.Thalmor agents start feeding Ulfrics ego so he thinks that he'll be a better ruler.
9.He kills Torryg and starts a civil war by following the ''old laws'' which weren't in effect for god knows how long.
10.Escapes Dragon
Only to get shitstomped by one in human form

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>>40317505
Night Elves are the Best Elves; shame how Blizz never really managed to make male night elves look good, not for lack of good concept art.

>>40353029
Brown tomboy elves

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None of you faggots can appreciate a real elf

>people literally posting Warcraft non-ironically

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>>40365772

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>>40365786

>>40332444
>this paste has been removed

YOU PIECE OF SHIT

>>40314218
They aren't Dark Elves, so they aren't.

>>40365808
It ends with the elf growing paranoid that you'll leave her, and kills you. Then she prepares the body and eats it so you're never apart. Then she finds another man to fall in love with.

>>40365808
Apparently something about it pastebin hates, pastebin gave me an "this may be spam" warning and deleted it after a while, then when I uploaded it again it did the same
If you know a good alternative to pastebin and can wait till I'm not on my phone I can try to repost it

>>40363418
Because tall and skinnyfit with a perfect face and great hair is too weird for people to genemod?

Don't need pointy ears to be an elf, laddo.

>>40363418
Vanity? Fashion?

>>40366774
You could just post it here, and break it down to multiple posts if it's too big to fit in one.

>>40369952
A bit afraid it's ban worthy, been band for tamer stuff and posted more detailed greentext that got ignored
Maybe if this thread starts autosaging, tends to get ignored them

>>40370053
I was under the assumption that text stuff is generally not banworthy, even if explicit (the no NSFW stuff rule only applies to pictures). But then again, I've seen pictures that technically don't break the rule be removed, and gotten a 1 day ban myself for some relatively tame text. Some mods are just more zealous than others.

>>40370289
Not ban worthy for NSFW, if a mod wants to get you for text it'll be because it's "off topic"

>>40362254
Am I the only one who thinks Pelinal Whitestrake is a bit more than what we have been lead to believe? Like, he didn't just have connections to Shor and Akatosh, but to the God Head itself, since his description of his madness ("It's like the dream no longer needs the dreamer") seemed a bit...specific considering he was only asked what it's like when he has an episode.
On top of the fact he was badass seemingly out of nowhere, and the fact he praised Reman before, well, before he was even a thing.

Either way, that dude could hate Elves like it was nobodies business.

>>40340828

Dwarf posting from his mother's cave detected.

>>40365808
>>40369952
Here you go
http://pasted.co/04580f0c

>>40365802
I've always wondered what's with those pointy helmets

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Squats and genetics, OP.

>>40378316
More space between the metal and your noggin gives it room to crumple a little when hit. Though obv miniature wargame fantasy art takes it beyond the plausible.

Also room to pile up their beehive hairdos.

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>>40375056
My dick

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>>40375056

The lack of horsecocks in this thread tells me that you fucks know nothing of wood elven women.

>>40380548
>horsecocks
No
Regular cocks are fine

>>40314218
>Golden evles/high elves
Pretentious "better than you" pricks

>Drow
BDSM feminazis

>Wood elves
Immortal savages

Basically wood elves are less of assholes than the other flavors because they are basically a force of nature in and of themselves. They don't care about the troubles of the world and are flawed because of it. But those flaws make them more interesting.

>>40378689
Alright I need a source on that I vaguely remember who the artist is.

>>40380654
Lucien

>>40380579
Those aren't very wild.

>>40380642
>Gold Elves
Aren't they usually characterized as being aloof, and withdrawn from other cultures, producing great things at times, but usually just being the /pol/ of elves, even to the point of funding terrorist groups?

>Drow
>BDSM feminazis
I don't think you know what those mean

>Wood Elves
You described the warcraft version.
In D&D they are tough and aloof from most worldly issues, but they're only considered savages by their kin. They are still highly advanced in terms of magic, and tend to have their own hidden communities, if not cities, they just don't strive to have great spires like the Sun/Drow, nor the partying all the time of the Moon, they just want to live their way and don't mind wiping out a town or two if their ways become at risk.

>>40314218
wood elves are the best because they like hard thick wood
badump zing

>>40380789
>Those aren't very wild.
Horsecocks are kinda boring at this point, regular cocks, futa or otherwise would be more interesting

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>>40373140
Well, he is a doom robot from the future. The songs mention things that coincidence with nonomachines.

>>40314218
Elves
+2 Dex, -2 Con
speed 35ft. with no heavier than light load
+2 vs. ench, immune to magic sleep
trance for 4 hours, -2 penalty to listen checks when trancing.
auto proficient with short bow, long bow, rapier, and longsword. If they gain proficiency in any of these weapons through a class, they gain a +1 bonus on attack rolls with those weapons (stacks with everything).
+2 spellcraft
+2 craft (bowyer/fletcher) and craft (woodworking)
low light vision
detect secret doors
+2 listen, search, and spot
an elf's target has 20% less concealment, and elves reduce range-increment penalties by 2
Adult at 25, Middle-aged at 75, Old at 125, Venerable at 175 (+6d20)

Subraces:

high elves: +2 Int, -2 Con, +2 CL checks to bypass spell resistance, no natural proficiency with bows or rapiers, spd 30

free elves: normal

sylvan elves: +2 Dex, -2 Con, +2 Wis, -2 Int, no natural proficiency with swords, wild empathy (+4 if you gain from class), +2 handle animal

wild elves: +2 Dex, -2 Int, natural proficiency with shortbow only, +2 Survival, no detect secret doors, primitive weapon mastery (bolas, club, dart, javelin, longspear, quarterstaff, shortbow, shortspear, sling, spear, throwing axe),
climate tolerant (0-100), illiteracy

>>40380308
>>40380475
Thank you,
Anyone know what about my story was getting pastebin to purge it?