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>blood for the blood god
>blood for the blood god
>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

KILL MAIM BURN

>>40259536
I can't tell if it's the warp overtaking me or my sheer disgust for the shittiness of that shoop. And frankly, I think that guy has some daemonic corruption in him even without picture edits; humans should not have bulging veins on thier goddamn foreheads.

Anyways, since we're having a Chaos thread, does anyone have the screencap where this one fa/tg/uy in construction work got back at his buyers being shitty to him by planting offerings to the Chaos Gods throughout the structure of their house?

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>>40259536
>mfw

>>40259580
Skulls for the skull throne!

If only the other gods has equally memorable battle crys.

>>40259709
THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH!

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>Imagine being there during those first days after being conquered
>Those first moments after accepting Slaaneshi rule
>Finally getting rid of those inhibitions, but before it turns into madness
>Unbridled lust

>>40259646
also bump for interest

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>All those people who don't even play Warhammer shouting Blood for the Blood God

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>>40259869
They don't know what they're missing out on, or rather should I say what they missed out on? This will never come back.

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>>40259804
+LISTEN UP MEN, THE RULES HAVE CHANGED+

*giggles*

+shut up I'm doing my thing. FROM NOW ON, WHOEVER BREAKS THE STRICTURES OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD MUST REPORT TO MY BEDR- I MEAN OFFICE FOR...+

*giggles*

+... A THOROUGH POUNDING- erh I MEAN BEATING+

*you'll love it!*

+SHUT UP!+

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>Nurgle is love
>Nurgle is life

>>40259536
Banging your mom with Slaanesh.

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>>40259536
Doing this

>and then Slaanesh rewarded me with daemon princehood, obv

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>>40259580
>>40259536

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>>40260341
>In the opposite side of the hall

OH SHI-

>>40259536

Chaos Worship. Horrendous practice. I'd never have anything to do with that filth. If I were ever to suspect my underlings of such base and blasphemous practices, I'd contact the Inquisition most swiftly! After all, I am but a loyal servant of the Emperor.

Now, as you might have learned, I am known as an ornithologist of sorts, would you like to see my avian garden? The purple and gold birds of prey are especially beautiful - and devilishly dangerous...

>>40259804
Lucius is one weird looking motherfucker.

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>>40260456
You don't say?

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>>40259536
The Mormon Temple

>>40260456
That's not Lucius.

>>40259536

For Khorne.
> During Jiu Jitsu practise one douchebag kept going for my bad knee even tho I asked him repeatedly to not armbar that knee.
> Also kept trying illegal holds and locks.
> Got enough of it. Blood must be shed.
> Let him armbar me.
> I'm 260lbs 6'7
> He was 5'5 about 155lbs
> Locked my arm in a safe position with the other one
> Got up,
> "Skulls for the Skull throne"
> Then full-force threw myself backwards
> My weight acted as a counter-weight, my arm as the arm on a trebuchet
> Dude got catapulted to the other side of the room
> Face first into the drywall
> Blood everywhere
> Muttered a prayer to Khorne for allowing me to overcome the foe.


I won't even describe what I did to please Slaanesh.

>>40260712

> I won't even describe what I did to please Slaanesh.

Do it faggot

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>>40260712
Slaanesh story plz

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>>40260729
>>40260751


I don't mind fucking my girlfriend when she is on her period. She doesn't mind either. When we are done I wipe off my dick and change the sheets and she goes take a shower or whatever

> One day get home extra horny
> Sit on PC reading HH waiting for GF to come home
> Reading the Emperor's Children becoming fucked up
> Thinking Slaanesh is basically the god of drugs and rock and roll and would probably be a cool guy/girl
> GF get's home
> Sexy time
> Pants off ready to work
> "Babe, my flow is really heavy this week."
> No fucks given
> Anal time
> Deep in that ass
> About to cum
> Pull-out by accident
> Try to stick it back
> Front entrance, with the rivers running red
> Ohthisfeelstoogood.
> Keep ramming that front gate
> Slip out again
> Wrong hole again, back to dirt road
> GF going mad
> About to cum, slips out again
> Open the flood gates.
> Think back of Slaanesh for some reason.
> Bloody cum all over her lower back and ass
> Slap her ass, leave bloody handprint on her asscheek
> GF is still in cum induced ecstasy
> Draw Slaanesh star on her other asscheek with bloody cum using tip of my dick.


Felt weird afterwards, but best nut I ever had

>>40260859
The guy in the corner with the pen is all like " I'm getting too old for this shit".

>>40260925
I'm not one to judge.

>>40260925
>/tg/

By the god

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>>40260925

>>40260925

I'm equally aroused and shocked

This is weird.

>>40260925

Oh god what did I just read, why did I come into this thread.

WHY

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>>40260925

>>40260925
Spontaneous, reckless, messy.
You're doing it right.

>>40260925

If anyone screencaps this, leave the spoiler's on just to fuck with people

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>>40260925
That's like Slaanesh, Khorne and Nurgle worship all at once

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>>40260925
DEAR GOD NO. WHY?!
>>40261060
IT'S A CHAOS THREAD. THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES SLAANESH!

>>40261148
>make it gif
>first spoiler 5 second with spoiler, 55 second without

>>40260925

>[Horror intensifies.]

I was at my grandparents house sitting in their dirty kitchen starting at a filthy tablecloth when Papa Nurgle himself busted through the wall and promised me eternal life. Now I have space aids.

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>>40260925

>>40261175

The point was to leave the spoilers on and then screencap the reactions so whoever sees it is like "WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THE SPOILER BOX? I WANNA KNOW TOO"

>>40260925
> insert picture of Khorne throwing up into a giant skull

With all the blood involved he surely didn't miss this happening

>>40261207
Tzeench, pls. This one goes to Slaanesh and there's nothing you can do about it.

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>>40260925
>bloody hand print on one cheek
>slaaneshi cum on the other

please tell me you took a pic for posterity

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>>40260925

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>>40260925

>>40260925
Meh.

>>40259646
>Anyways, since we're having a Chaos thread, does anyone have the screencap where this one fa/tg/uy in construction work got back at his buyers being shitty to him by planting offerings to the Chaos Gods throughout the structure of their house?
I have never heard of this and my interest is piqued.

>>40259536
I dunno which god this attributes to, but reeds on which I cut my tongue and smear with blood always play much better than those that don't. I've been joking that my bass clarinet is possessed, but fuck, it's almost starting to creep me out.

>>40261285
Already posted

>>40260532

>>40260712
>>40260925
I'm both awed and disgusted. Well done.
This is how the Age of Strife begins.

>>40260925
How bad was her infection later that week from sticking shit into her vag?

And please god tell me you fucked her when the infection was in full swing you sick motherfucker

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>>40261378
>MFW
DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS YOU MONSTER. PLEASE DON'T MAKE THINGS GO SLAANESHNI AND NURGLITE. WE ALREADY HAVE PROOF OF THAT ONCE.

>>40261378
Get out Nurgle.

Go masturbate somewhere else.

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>>40260925
I'm not sure how to feel about this.

Regardless, good on ya, son.

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>>40260925

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>>40260925
I think this is appropriate.

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>>40260925
Butt Heresy

>>40261378

> Look at this man.
> He never did ass to pussy before.
> Look at him.
> Look at him and laugh.

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>>40261148

>>40260925
And here I am jacking off into my neighbour's shampoo bottle thinking I got game

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>>40261425
Nurgle might not be into that but one of his followers might.

>>40260925
If this guy doesn't get turned into a Daemon Prince then nobody else is.

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>>40261148
>>40261488
And for those deemed corrupt enough to view it

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>>40260925
I think this image is right for this. Someone take a new screencap including this picture.

>>40261531
FulgrimIsPleased.jpg

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>>40260925
For posterity.

>>40261538
He really is. This is what corrupted him, not some sword.

>>40261558
The sword told him that story.

>>40260925
Once every few millenia, there is a post that silences all others.

It's size dwarfs the highests of mountains.
It's awe silences whole planets.
It's force strikes down the sun.
It's horror destroys a thousand minds.

Once every millenia... there is a post like that.


This...


This is one such post.

I'm both glad and terrified that it happened in my time and that I was here to read it.

>>40261510
>>40261552
Oops I should have refreshed

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>>40261575
God Emperor, why does this evil exist?

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Alive

>>40261579
Truly, it is a great day to be a fa/tg/uy.

Now to lean back as the world falls to Slaanesh.

>>40259536
Where was I when the Warp overtook me?

Reading this >>40260925 fucking post.

It is a good pain.

>>40261531

Fool.

This story...


THIS STORY IS WHAT BIRTHED SLAANESH!

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>>40260925

>>40261606
No. I won't fall.

>>40260925
Has anyone else just been giggling at nothing since reading this and you don't know why, but you just can't stop?

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>>40261604
Anyone got any Nurgle stories of the same calibre?
I think pic related qualifies as the Tzeentch equivalent.

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>>40261621
But that would mean that Anon is an Eldar.

>>40261655
Fuck the Eldar. Humanity creates better gods of hedonism than they do.

>>40261642
Cool but fake.

>>40261655
No. The eldar will just take credit for this one day because they can't stand being less fucked in the head than a human.

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>>40261642
>Anyone got any Nurgle stories of the same calibre?
>MFW

>>40261642
You know what... I actually do.

It involves a colostomy bag

>>40261672
>>40261691
No. Let's say the Eldar will see this story and think "oh we can outdo this".

>>40261725
This thread and those within it are already beyond redemption, so go for it

>>40261740
No, this thread is like Luke. This story will be used to keep people out of Slaanesh's hands.

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>>40261729
>Mfw humanity caused the Fall of the Eldar
>Mfw Humanity Fuck Yeah

>>40261740
Fine.

>Be me, deployed with the army as a medic. Boss is a big guy who used to be a nurse.
>As a nurse he used to go to the local prison to do medical exams and give immunizations and all that shit.
>Over a few weeks, more and more people started showing up with herpes all over their dicks. Horrible fucking case that spread like wildfire.
>Seemed easy enough to solve who originally had it and where everyone was getting it, but sadly, no.
>Nobody had it in their mouths.
>Nobody had it on their hands.
>Nobody had it on their anus.
>Just dicks.
>What the fuck? My boss said, this didn't make any sense. There should have been at least someone unless they were just sword fighting and not actually banging.
>One day, man comes in with horrible abdominal pain and irritation.
>They lift up his shirt to check it out and see his colostomy bag.
>Plsno.jpg
>Remove bag to check hole; herpes. Herpes fucking everywhere.
>Motherfuckers had all been fucking his colostomy hole.

And that was the day I fell to nurgle.

>>40261785
Anon, we only inspired them. What they really did made that post look like a feild full of puppies. Or it was the first act dedicated to Slaanesh by a human after the the Age of Strife.

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>>40260925

Meanwhile, at the realms of the other Chaos Gods

>>40261510
Posted to 1d4chan. This needs to be remembered.

>>40261642
>Anyone got any Nurgle stories of the same calibre?
Bugcatchers.

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>>40261838
Holy Emperor.

>>40261838
So... prison imates fucking this one guys artificial gut hole?

>PRAISED BE HE

>>40261838
No

>>40261642
Any story involving /k/ and MRE rations.

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>>40261862
LEAVE THIS PLACE, DEMON.
DO NOT TREAD ON THESE GROUNDS

>>40261838
Nurgle and Slaanesh are pleased.

>>40261862
>>40261913
I don't get it.

>>40259869
it is pretty straightforward

>>40261838
Seems too Slaaneshni to me. This is what the Grey Knights have to see on the job.

>>40261862
Those are dedicated to both Nurgle and Slaanesh.

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>>40261642
That reminds me of this story.

>>40261674
Hi FakeAnon. How's everything in your everything's fake world?

>>40260925
>>40261642
>>40261838

>OP here
So yeah... I doubt we will actually get a proper Khorne story here, as it should by definition involve killing. So I'm officially declaring this thread a success and I am now heading off to bed.

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>>40260925

Guy who wrote this >>40260925 here.

Didn't expect this reaction. I'm quite happy I've pleased you all, but..

You guys will never know about the Shower Buttsex of Horror incident.

>>40261988
See >>40260712
Violence is just as pleasing to Khorne as killing.

>>40262036
You know the rules bitch. You mention it, you better fucking tell. We're all fallen by now anyways.

>>40262036
>You guys will never know about the Shower Buttsex of Horror incident.
Now you're just teasing us.
But it's not like a devotee of the Lord of Excess could avoid for spreading it.

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>>40261838

now i kinda wanna know what this feels like

>>40262070
How do Inquisitors go through this? At this point I think the ones that haven't fallen need hats and a license to kill people based on pure superstition.

>>40262084
Someone made that model change just to take that screenshot.

>>40261988

Actually I did two tours on Iraq and was in an all-out HELL of firefight twice... I got a story... which I won't tell because of all the "HURR-DURR LIES" and the basement operators trying to find holes in it to derp over.

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>>40262084
How about no.

>>40262082
> But it's not like a devotee of the Lord of Excess could avoid for spreading it.

Unless teasing about it causes me pleasure.

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>>40260925
Holy Emperor...

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>>40262155

This man is Slaanesh incarnate.

>>40262185
SHEHE IS AMONG US

>>40262143
Y'all fuckers need to stop mentioning shit and not telling it.

>>40262143
Disregard the haters bro.

Share us your tale. It would be nice to have an actual Iraq vet story instead of some fat /k/ommando or /k/perator bullshit fairy-tale.

Please?

>>40262143
are you /k/omrade by any chance?

>>40262215
I can understand that guys hesitation.

This is 4chan and we are known to track down people just by their posts and ruin their lives.

If he is still active duty, talking about that shit could fuck his life.

>>40262237
No, I deeply hate /k/ retards for all their stupidity and wanna-be operator behaviour.

>>40262242
I feel like that's more of a /b/ thing than /tg/.

>>40262242
>If he is still active duty, talking about that shit could fuck his life.
Only if he says something he shouldn't be saying, and if that was the case, why open his mouth to begin with?

>>40262242

He could always redact the fuck out of it and just tell it as briefly as possible without any substantion info.

>>40262036
Aw come on, deliver!

>>40262346
But then FakeAnon will jump all over it like stink on That Guy.

>>40261838
I've got a story that's not even near as bad, but still would please Nurgle

I worked in a Goodwill for about 8 months when I was 18.
>It's around Christmas time, bringing out the store of trees
>Realize that someone has been in the women's bathroom for at least 3 hours
>People are complaining to the manager
>We find out the door had been locked shut and we have no idea when the person left
>Shit is all over the bathroom, smeared at least 4 foot high on the walls
>Several inches thick on places in the floor
>It was from colostomy bag, you could tell by the consistency
>Handprints all over the walls and hand rail, even on the mirror
>Manager hands me a roll of paper towels, bleach, and a small hand shovel
>All of which are thrown away
>Manager gives me the rest of the shift, 5 hours, off to go home and clean myself

I've also mopped a trail of piss up that went throughout the entire store, right up to the old lady who was leaking and followed her around with a mop until she left. Many lulz where had.

I've got more stories if anyone wants.

>>40262242
Here's how we used to operate at /b/:

>some faggot posts a picture of either him, someone he dislikes, or something
>it ends up being a picture directly from facebook or one he posted somewhere else, usually taken via phone
>sometimes you can find out who this faggot/person in picture/thing in picture is, track down the location
>because /b/ is a shithole full of people, sometimes we got lucky and a /b/tard would live within a few miles of the victim/place
>pretty regularly such a person would take a pic with a timestamp of the place the victim/place is, with "hey what should I do"
>pretty regularly we told such a faggot to shit in a paper bag, set it on fire and throw it

OR
>same shit as above except find out phone numbers
>suddenly 30 different people from different states and sometimes countries calling their home address saying nonsensical things
>police get involved but it's a nameless crowd of faggots that take the time to call using either payphones or someone else's phone
>and thus we terrorize the populace

nowadays it's no longer like that.
BUT

we never ruined anyone's career, and it's never a good idea to fuck with the military

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>>40262455
Something makes me think this is actually a Slaanesh story.

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>>40261838
>>40262455
Maybe... maybe less Nurgle stories.

>>40262507
I'm pretty sure killing a person ruins their career.

Belgian chaos worship: we have a tradition in your first year at uni (or later, but at uni anyhow) that basically involves older students screaming at you all the time, making you crawl around on hands and knees, drink shit-tons of beer and eat disgusting shit untill you vomit. Sometimes you have to re-eat your vomit or someone else's, that sort of things. Then after doing this several evenings a week for a month, there is the grand final where you are "baptized": you crawl through a number of obstacles, including one where they throw manure at you, methylene blue and you also have a pool of blood and organs in which you need to take a dip. At the end of it all you get the right to wear a special cap and do it to younger students.

>>40262590
>firefight
>in a warzone
>ruins career
Wut...

>>40262604
We have this in America too.
It's called Rush Week.

>>40262644
Here it's more or less a month. Didn't know it existed overseas.
You also get a large cap with a bunch of insignia?

>>40260925
> intothe ass, then into the pussy
So, are you serving Nurgle now?

>>40260925

That's awesome. It's also good since orgasms help with period cramps.

>>40262507
To rephrase:

we never ruined anyone's career due to it being an explicit goal of the raid

sometimes someone would go to the hospital (lol fucking idiots eating sugar mixed with ammonia and let sit for an hour, guy thought it would get him high (there was a /b/tard EMT on the ambulance, you don't get these kinds of stories nowadays)), but the intent was never "HURR LET'S RUIN THEIR CAREER" and always "HURR LET'S LAUGH AT THEIR MISERY BY BEING ASSHOLES HAHA"

I dunno man, it was still fun

>>40262215
>>40262218
>>40262237
>>40262242
>>40262316
>>40262340
>>40262342
>>40262346

Fine, but I ain't explaining anything else and you guys will get it as it is.

>Be me
>Be big fat nerd
>Dad forced me to join unnamed US. Armed Forces service branch because only way to go to college
>Fast-foward a year
>Be in Iraq
>Mission is just to go to unnamed place and get ready because we heard bad guys were preparing to organize
>As soon as we are on the ground hell breaks loose
>Enemy fire everywhere, mortars and RPG's flying wildly.
>Return fire buzzing past my ears
>Crawl my ass 500 meters to cover, return fire from our guys still passing right over my head.
>Idiots screaming in arab everywhere.
>Lean back agaisnt cover, squad mates are getting there as well
>Can't see shit, can't aim at anything
>One hour sitting behind a wall just waiting for enemy fire to die a bit
>Manage to get gun over cover just to lay down suppressive fire
>Randomly putting rounds at where I THINK they are
>See figure running through cloud of dirt
>Put my reticle center-mass.
>That fucking pink-mist and small dirty puffs as he jerks mid-run and falls down like a sack of potatoes.
>Pissed the fuck off for sitting behind a wall at a shitty angle for an hour with bullets passing near my head
>Can only think "Blood"
>More screaming in arab from a few degrees to the right
>Guy to my right catches a round in his vest, down on the ground, air knocked out
>Rounds flying in our direction, hitting cover, sending pieces of cobble at my face
>Fucking annoyed
>Locate where I think is the source of the sound
>See muzzle-flash from edge of a wall
>Spray the fucking wall until mag goes dry
>Can see the dirt rising on the other side as the wall get's turned into papier-mache
>No more arab screaming.
>Reload. Reticle over for 20 mins.
>Nobody peeps out
>All I can think is the word "Blood".
>"Blood"
>Next word is "Skulls"
>Airstrikes start sweeping in, bad guys booking it
>AC-130 hunts them over the night

>>40262858
Anon was at Battle of do ab basically.

You almost fooled me by saying Iraq instead of Afghanistan, but the AC-130 gave it away.

>>40259536

Sitting on the beach and watching some old folk feed the seagulls bread.

I got angry that the big seagull was getting all the bread.

>>40262964
Did you take its skull?

>>40261838

I heard that story a while back. Was that a copy pasta?

>>40261956

Spoon feeding you, but learn to google in the future, k?

A bug catcher is someone in the gay community who is intentionally trying to get AIDS.

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>>40263156
>A bug catcher is someone in the gay community who is intentionally trying to get AIDS.
WHY?!

>>40263210
It is the same reason that people get bizzare piercings or hurt themselves for kicks, to be cool.

>>40263210
Fetishes, you tell me.

>>40259536
Playing Geheimnisnacht in CK2.

>>40263210
Spreading an incurable disease to other men is the closest they have to making children. The real question is whether they are spreading diseases because they are gay or if they are gay because some disease used them to spread.

>>40263156
wait wasn't bugcatcher also the girl who shoved maggots in her vagina?

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>>40263235
>>40263236
>>40263252
This thread is too Slaaneshni and Nurglite.
>>40263261
>MFW

>>40259709
Corpses for the corpse god! Gold for the gold throne!

>>40263210

I mean, I don't know the exact reasons here, but it's well documented. There exists a small, but dedicated, community of gays that actively seek to fuck the infected.

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>>40263285
Why?!

>>40263261

I thought she was called bloatflychan or something like that. Let me check.

Either way bug catchers is the term for the seekers in the bugchasers community.

So this is the day /tg/ turns into /d/ ?

>>40259737
This is pretty epic indeed.

>>40263240
I hope you went Slaanesh. The prestige gain is downright fucking broken.

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>>40261642
There's always this fucking story.
oh my emperor I'm sorry.

>>40263364
/tg/ has always been /d/ lite

>>40263330
ohh yeah I think thats it

>>40263390
Go fuck yourself. That attitude is what made /tg/ shit.

>>40263321

The general reasons are documented as follows:

It's intensely erotic. The sense of danger that you may get a deadly disease and become an outcast increases heartbeat, which in turn increase your ability to feel pleasure. See the the choking or cutting fetish groups for more details.

Another aspect is intimacy. That you are putting your life in danger to love the unlovable.

Some it's just romanticized by pop culture, living a tragic life and dying for it.

Some are just crazy.

>>40263364
I don't know go ask /d/.

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>>40263413
>This entire thread

>>40263372
Of course.

>>40263375
Jesus fucking Christ, I actually feel slightly ill after reading that. Go back to circlejerking with your noise marines and leave us alone, cultist.

>>40263375
That shit it vile even for /d/

I'm scarred for life. And nauseous.

>>40261148
That was the very first thing I thought of

>>40263563
/d/ needs to see that mess.

>>40263648
They did. It freaked them out.

>>40263688
By the emperor...

Nurgle story.

I was working a shitty retail job in the city, which is a 40 minute drive from home. There was another guy with the same name who worked there too. I would always show up for his shifts because the manager was fucking retard. So the story goes

>Show up 4 hours early for shift
>Not driving all the way home.
>Best bro isn't home.
>No money
>Welp. Time to wander the city.

Now I've lived in the area for years, and still drove through it a lot to see best bro. So when I say I've never seen this place before or after the incident, I mean it was liking finding out Jurassic Park was around the corner from your house.

>Walking around highway
>on weird back street that is mostly used for deliveries
>Make turn to head back towards front street.
>Walking along.
>Suddenly surrounded by turds.
>HUGE turds. Man sized turds. Dozens of piles of shit.
>No recollection this place before.
>Didn't see any of this before I was halfway through the field of dookie.
>Kept walking, never looked back.
>Never saw that place again either.

It was like a Lovecraft story, except with piles of shit instead of eldritch horrors.

>>40263375
I didn't even read all of it and that is horrible.

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>>40262858
>Can only think "Blood"

>>40263375
>demonette of Nurgle

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>>40263375
It's happened. We've gone too far. The warp is opened and this shit starts pouring out, and we're all fucked, man. We went way too fucking far this time /tg/.

>>40263959

Why hasn't anyone called the Grey Knights yet?

Or the fucking Inquis-

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>>40264015
Who called the men in grey?

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>>40263375
Did she died?
God damn...

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>>40262858
>US military doing your job
>Having regard for your own life
>Khorne
>Not IG

>>40264297
I mean, that's some sensitive skin. You can't let that shit turn purple/black without permanent damage, since if you lose even a little bit of it, you lose most of the sensitive parts.

It's just like how once the dick's in past an inch or two, the rest doesn't make much difference aside from applying pressure slightly differently.

That vagoo is just goo now. Wouldn't be surprised if she went into septic shock pretty quickly, because that area has a lot of bloodflow, and it's very close to the intestines, with all their wonderful bacteria. One of those maggots eats a hole into there... You gon' die, girl.

And.... I guess she wanted it that way.

Mission accomplished?

>that ain't /d/ lite, that's /d/ HEAVY, yo.

>>40259646
>Humans should not have bulging veins on their foreheads.
Clearly someone here has never exerted himself before.

How much do you weigh?

>>40263375
>open spoiler
>see "magnets holding meat inside me" and "maggots were crawling all over me"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE

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>>40260925

>>40264674
Ain't no lawd here, sugar. Not no mo' they ain't. You best be turnin' round.

Or they gon' getcha.

>>40263713

/d/ is bitchmade at this point. It's a bunch of closeted whiny faggots that get buttmad when you point out that futa is very gay.

>>40259536
>Where were you when the warp overtook you, tg?

Middle school. Then I grew out of it.

>>40263688
They did?

>>40260456
Not lucius.

>>40261642
I used to work at Walmart as a janitor on the graveyard shift.

I have seen things.

>>40263261
No just your mum

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>>40263375

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>>40263375

Legendary thread right here. I wanted to save it entirely but the material is so insane (especially the maggots screencap, which I haven't been courageous enough to read) that I'm hesitating.

>>40267023
It's on suptg

no captcha, a kimono is not food even if some of us want to eat the wearer out

>>40262719
Sometimes it's a jacket.

>>40260925
>mfw it's my fetish

>>40263375
It's calls like those that we EMTs talk about for years afterwards.
>hey you remember maggot bitch?
>oh the one with the necrosis in the vagina?
>yeah
>yeah
>...

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>>40260925
By the gods of all fantasy role playing games

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>>40260925
>>40267299

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>>40260925
I'm laughing like I haven't laughed in a while.

>>40259646
>Chaos Gods throughout the structure of their house?

I remember that thread. It wasn't a house, it was a Mormon church.

>>40261474
Under cooked toast

>>40264580
Actually she survived. There is no way in hell she's going to ever have kids, but she's still kicking, and doing shit like that. She still writes a blog about it somewhere, apparently.

>>40259804
What is this picture depecting?

>>40268728
I can unfderstand maybe... Earthworms or something. But that's just nasty.

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>this thread
Neither the deepest pits of Tartarus, nor the infernal abyss of the Void shall any longer hold any secrets for me. Ave bossa nova similus bossa Seneca.

>>40261474
under basted roast

>>40260925
And that kids is why this thread is ABSOLUTE FUCKING HERSEY!

>>40263210
I've heard it described as an elaborate form of suicide.

HAHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK!

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>>40270121
Come now, have you not realized what thread you're in? What would a forum of pure Chaos be without proper due to Nurgle?

But yeah its fucking nauseating to read. Kinda the point I think.

Slaaneshi here, listening to deafening music in ultra high quality, can hardly think straight. (Oh yes it is electronic with female vocals my pretties).

Very impressive story from Mr khorne and slaanesh incarnate.

Mine not so impressive but.

>be intoxicated at middle aged womans home
>thing will get loud here
>activate the speaker systems too maximum capacity
>she is cool woman and into similar music as I
>the woman's niece who I believe was barely legal at the time arrives just us 3
>dark desire intensifies and I know she wants it
>proceed to temp her and I will not lie I am very charming and she was looking at me hungrily from the moment we met
>taunt the aunty and joke about sex
>I return briefly to my home for shower
>upon exiting the shower I find her standing I my doorway

I proceeded to make her mine, that was a good night.

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>>40260925
As a loyal servant of Khorne, this gave me a boner I'm not sure I should be proud of.

>>40259536
>Where were you when the warp overtook you, tg?

Anbar, 06-07

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Believe it or not, I fell to Khorne when I was 10.

>4th grade
>Be fat kid who get picked on a lot
>Most of it comes from these two little shits, we'll call them Tweedledee and Tweedledumb
>They won't let me play on the playground. Punch me until I leave if I try to slip past them
>Was a huge goody-goody two shoes back then, so I never fought back.
>Shitty school so teachers don't really pay attention to what's happening to kids unless it involves blood or broken bones.
>One day, grab a kickball and go play by myself by the trees since I can't go on the playground
>Tweedledee and Tweedledumb won't let me even do that.
>Tweedledee tells me to give them the ball
>Tell them to just leave me alone already
>Tweedledee walks up and pushes me. I fall and he wrenches the ball out of my hand while I'm down.
>Both of them laugh and start passing the kickball to each other where I can see.
>Khorne starts whispering in my young ear
>"You don't have to take this shit."
>"Teachers won't do anything for you."
>"Teach them a lesson yourself."
>My little 10 year old brain is consumed with rage
>Grab a big stick a few feet away and hide it behind my back
>"Fuck 'em up kid"
>Walk up to Tweedledee
>"Go away anon, we don't-"
>WHACK!
>Swing big stick as hard as I can and hit Tweedledee in the face
>He falls, kick him in the gut for good measure
>Look over at Tweedledumb. By now the Warp has completely overtaken me and I'm in a bloodrage
>Tweedledumb runs
>Chase after him with big stick
>Thankfully I can't catch him because I'm a fat 10 year old.
>Teachers finally notice what's happening and stop me
>Take away my stick, send me to the principal's office
>Come down from rage mode, realize what I've done.
>Principal calls me in and asks me to explain what happened
>Start crying and blubber out what happened
>Get suspended for 3 days because the principal knew I was being bullied by those two and I guess she felt bad for the blubbering fat kid.
>Those two never picked on me again.

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>>40259536
>Doing HEMA
>Sword and board walls
>Both lines kind of smacking at each other
>Just downed about four cups of coffee
>blow lands on funny bone
>Pain shoots through my arm
>Adrenaline mode activated
>Ditch the board, grab second sword
>BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
>Flying tackle the shield wall
>break through
>begin swinging
>Shield wall broken
>my team rushes in
>MFW it worked.
>MFW I accidentally gave tribute to Chaos

>>40259536
Slaanesh got me at one point
>Up for 3 days straight college years
>Working on final paper
>Finish final paper, hoping to get sleep
>Been drinking coffee constantly
>Shaking from caffeine dosage
>Cant sleep
>Try to get drunk to counter the caffeine
>Open bottle of red wine
>Absent mindedly drink entire bottle
>GF calls wanting to come over
>Fuuuck I might as well
>she comes over, I smoke a bit to give myself a nicotine boost to deal with the alcohol
>While she is coming over I put on some music
>I begin seeing the music
>Noticing every tiny detail of everything from the sleep dep and speedballing stimulants and depressants
>She gets there, really horny
>I am simultaneously numb and hyper sensitive
>Best fucking of my life.
>Cant seem to finish
>She says she's exhausted, but go for round 2
>Must have been 2-3 hours all told
>Literally fucked her silly
>Practically hallucinating the entire time.
>Finally finish
>Pass out, most vivid nightmares I have ever had.

Finals week man.

>>40272693
>finals week
Slaanesh and Tzeentch were fighting over squatting rights to your soul that night, my brother.

>>40269754
>Noise marine on a podium surrounded by citizens
>Imp eagle still visible in the crowd and on the buildings

Looks like an Imperial world that has just been conquered by Noise marines

>>40261159

If he'd planned it ahead of time it'd include Tzeentch too.

>>40273122
Looks like things are going to get violent

>blow out hip at work. Can't stand without pain. Client gives me opiates to fuck through the pain.
>process drugs oddly. Pain is the only feeling, sucks at first but soon begin to love feeling anything.
>can't sleep. Day job continues call off night gigs.
>day three realize I haven't eaten since injury. Make feast.
>violently vomit all the food. Can't hold down anything, even water.
>day three still no sleep, aware of even the hairs of a spider's leg.
>friends concerned, brings food, cigs and other goodies.
>lose all food again, enough sedative and sleeping pills to take out a buffalo.
>enter fugue state. Statements from house mates claim didn't sleep. Apparently screamed along to music and wrote.
>day five be given drugs by far man. Instructions were "eat this. No more then three." Do so.
>eyes cannot stay open, passage of time only noted by random media files.
>fap to the smut until firing blanks.
>take three more.
>wake up the next day, sun is shining, make pancakes.
>notebook full of sigils, nonsense words, poor drawings and scratches. Several pages host cigarette burns.
>use notebook for years taking pages as props to give to players.

I felt the warp overtake me once. Never again will I know it's perfection.

>>40260925
prais slaanesh

>>40273879
I think you mean dirty

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>>40261838
This reminds me of a story from /k/
>Some /k/unt was attached as a medical orderly in Afghanistan or some shit.
>Treats both servicemen and local Afghans.
>One day day an Afghani woman comes to the chief medical officer ( a woman) with a bag of orange pulpy foul smelling shit.
>Officer takes her in
>Comes out with the most pig-disgusting diagnosis ever.
>Woman is a prostitute.
>Men only do her anally so as to preserve her virginity.
>Has had an untreated STD of some sort for months.
>STD ate through her colon and into her uterus/vag canal or something.
>She's been peeing her shit.
>Literally.
>That was what was in the bag.

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I encountered a small shrine to Nurgle once.

>Be a freelance handyman, do small jobs for property managers- light bulbs, window screens, leaky faucets, that sort of thing.
>One of my regular tasks is to replace batteries in every smoke/CO alarm in a given apartment building.
>Sent to check smoke alarms in small apartment building on bad side of town.
>Mostly Mexican immigrants, stacked on bunk beds 4+ men to a room. (Illegal as hell, but no-one cares.)
>They all complain of smell from top floor unit, belongs to an old man.
>"pleasedontbeadeadbody pleasedontbeadeadbody..."
>Sweet/rotten smell coming from the door.
>Open it up, the smell hits me like a wall and I see... fruit.

>This guy had been collecting boxes of unsold fruit from grocery store dumpsters and just... keeping it.
>Cardboard half-boxes full of rotting fruit stacked all through the hallway, the kitchen, the bedroom. Flies EVERYWHERE.

Not a lot of legal options in these cases, but property manager managed to get a hold of the guys family, who put him in a home.


Also just FYI about 1/100 apartment dwellers is a hoarder. Most common thing to keep seems to be paper- junk mail, newspapers, ect. Ive seen tinder-dry piles of old mail stacked a foot high, right next to gas stoves with lit pilot lights.

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I think its time to summon Khorne

>>40274122
Medical professional here.
Happens a lot in places with bad hygiene and no medical facilities, might not necessarily be because of STD, could also be too much use of it, or tears or something. Also traumatic births can rip the skin between ass and vagina, and if there is nobody to stitch it/you back up, you poop out of your vagina too afterwards. Smell is absolutely horrid because it results in permanent infection and whatnot. It's called a vaginal fistula.

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>>40274194
Even big E is angered.

>>40274208
If Tzeentch is the god of just as planned, would shit like this not annoy him to no end?

>>40274214
I doubt it.

>>40274185
>Vaginal Fistula
Now I'm tempted to google. Fuck you, Medical Professional

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>>40274214
Nah, he probably built that just for fun, this on the other hand....

>>40274224
If you feel particularly nurglish, I have some more for you:
Hidradenitis suppurativa
Nasal myasys
ye good olde trypophobia
cutaneous papilloma

Have fun!

>>40274228
This is... nnggngnnggnngngngngnhhaaaaaa FFFFFFuuuuuu

Have you ever been driving down the interstate and forced by some sort of biological necessity to take a pit-stop in some no-name town that you would have never visited and you're quite certain that you would never find a second time?

In the older truckstops and small gas stations I am almost certain that their bathrooms function as a small wayshrine to chaos undivided. All four are represented there in some degree.

>>40274377
Now I feel inclined to actually stop at truckstops and actively consecrate them to chaos. Imagine finding chaos symbols all over the worlds public restrooms and what-nots

>>40274086
Silly anon, clearly you mean things will get LOUD NOW

>>40274404
Shhh, be vewy vey quit. I'm hunting Noise Marines.

Elmer Fudd as an Inquisitor would be gold.

>>40274377
>>40274400
If I ever see a glory hole, I will draw a Slaanesh symbol around it and write a mantra of pleasure for the guy getting blown to read while in the act

>>40273892
I think you should find yourself a better pimp.

>>40263375
My current girlfriend told me this story but claimed to be the maggot girl.

I didn't ask her out for a year until I actually forgot it, and she said it was just to freak people out.

Fucking checked it out and asked her brother anyways though goddamn fuck ending up with that woman

>>40264726
This.
They Also freak out about the definition of shortstack

>>40274604
It's only 50% gay.

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>>40274627

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>>40263210
Not sure if the Papa Nurgle would approve, might be too slaaneshian for him.

>>40274661
Jesus Christ. I only needed to glance at the thumbnail. Shit like this scared me from having sex for awhile.

>>40261984
We found the God-Machine

Slaanesh worshipper here, sharing what I normally don't share. I do a lot Tzeentchian stuff too, and seeing as they are my two favourites gods, it makes sense..I felt like shit doing these things in my teens, but I value the experience.

>Glutted myself to 270 pounds at 17 deliberately, but I kept groomed and cleaned, because fuck Nurgle. I would eat copious amounts of delicious foods.
>Tried blood art for awhile, it looked like shit but knowing I made it with my own blood was pretty cool.
>Went down on period-girls many times, I really did like the taste but then I realized it was ejected eggs and it weirds me out a bit.
>Hooked up with random men just to feel subjugated, and I enjoyed lying to my girlfriends about how faithful I was.
>Listened to industrial music so loud that now I have hearing problems. I'm 21.
>Used to get quite a bit of pleasure to beat and dominate kids in middle school, because I was an early bloomer and I revelled in the fact I was so much larger than them.

I never did drugs though, because I felt I didn't need substances to enjoy what life has to offer. I still feel that way, but the 'edgy' phase I went through makes me feel rather ashamed. I still venerate the Dark Prince, but my real life excesses have passed me.

I actually have the mark of Khorne cut into my shoulder. Does /tg/ require a photo with a timestamp?

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>>40274661

>loyalist posting in a chaos thread
my drill instructor told me this. he actually looked pretty haunted when told me it so I believe him.
>in afgan
>driving on a patrol
>pretty calm day so far
>fucking rocket hits the side of the humvee
>my DI crawls out of the car
>sees the guy who shot his car
>guy drops the rocket launcher and pulls out his ak
>squeezes the trigger and just starts walking towards the wrekage unloading on my drill instructor and his buddies
>the dudes who are still consience during the attack do what they are trained to do and shoot center mass
>the guy doesn't even slow down
>my DI freaks out and goes for a headshot
>hits him in his T box (the area your eyes and nose and mouth make up)
>the guy stops looks at my DI growls fires at him takes 2 steps and finally falls over dead.
>mfw my DI said he didn't believe in god until that moment
>because he saw a man possessed that day

khorites are spooky fa/tg/uys

>>40275797
Yep.

>>40274661
This shit makes me glad I'm asexual.

>>40275925
Sounds more like drugs to me.

>>40275999
Faith can be one hell of a drug.
Even misguided faith.
Especially misguided faith.

>>40276040
Not to the point of ignoring massive trauma. That's the domain of drugs, mental illness, or an extreme fluke when it comes to nerve damage.

The head shot was obviously a fluke, people sometimes survive shots to the head, so surviving a few seconds doesn't seem that strange. The strange part is the earlier stuff, which has me thinking drugs.

>>40276040
Man I don't give a shit how determined a man can become when DEUS VULTing or ALLAH ACKBARing. Being able to straight up ignore having your essential organs perforated, and having the wherewithall to growl, fucking GROWL, at someone while unloading at them after taking a bullet to the braincase just shouldn't be possible. It's either the drugs or Khorne doing that shit.

If I ever fall to the influence of Khorne, please murder me so hard because I don't want to live as a massive faggot sucking faggot cocks all day.
Srsly, Khorne is the deity of sexually frustrated and emotionally retarded neckbeards worldwide.

Robbie Groberski is the one true God.

>>40276081
>>40276106

oh he told us that the guy was hopped up on a cocktail of drugs and that it was a common thing

but he said that returning fire and growling and looking at people then walking towards them after a headshot was not

>>40263375
I HAVE AN ERECTION GOD HELP ME I'M DONE FOR

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>>40275946
I wrote the 3 backwards like a total autistic retard. That's what you get for writing with your offhand.
Also the whole thing is cringy as fuck.

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>>40276312
>barely visible
step it up, cultist

>>40276351
I can try. Perhaps I will look up a manual how to do scarring properly.

>>40276386
this is one of the things you shouldn't DIY, find a reputable tattoo palor

>>40276422
>implying I have the money
>implying I am still the edgy faggot I was when I did this

>>40263210
For some gay men, AIDS feel like an inevitability. Actively going out and searching for it gives them some sense of control, in a "if I die I die because I wanted it" sort of way. It's the same sort of thinking that led to the invention of Russian Roulette.

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>Where were you when the warp overtook you, tg?

We were somewhere past Barstow, on the edge of the Eye, when the Warp began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit heretical; maybe you should pilot...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like naked lobster-girls, all swooping and screeching and diving around the flyer, which was going about a hundred lightyears a day with the Gellar Field down, all the way to Cadia.

Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and was pouring blood on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring out at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Eldar sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to fly." I hit the drive shutdown and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the nearest system. No point mentioning those daemonettes, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough."

>>40263375
this should not give me an erection but it does oh sweet god help me

>>40272426
>Tweedledee and Tweedledumb
Kek.
Nice work anon.

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>>40276351
Looks like a tattoo to the glory of muslim mechanics.

>>40274421
>Most venerable noise marine, we've found further of your dead comrades!
>IMPOSSIBLE! HOW DOES HE DO IT?
>BAM
>BAM
>Pewhaps if you wewe mowe quiet...

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>>40276307
>>40276687
There is no help. Only fire.

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>>40260925

>>40272426
I'd just say that's just you realizing that in order to get ahead in life you need to kick a mother fucker trying to fuck you over.

>>40273122
>>40274404

That's not a noise marine, that's just a random Emperor's Children.

WHERE ARE THE VOX UNITS?

>>40259536
>Where were you when the warp overtook you, tg?

I was at work. Too much of one drug sent me on a fun trip while my body did some weird shit. I started destroying stuff, screaming, flailing and I had taken almost all my clothes off. All that remained was my underwear when I came to for a brief second as I was kicking off my pants. then I went back to the warp.

I will never forget the purple street though. Or the silver and red lined door. I will see them again one day, even if I have to nearly kill myself to do it.

And to that skull that showed up in that cartoon land near the end, fuck you. You were a dick who told me life was pointless. At least I'm not a skull with flaming eyes that lives in cartoon land, you douche.

>>40260925
Far from the worst thing I've read.

Sounds like it was a good time.

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>>40260925

>>40260925
THE ARISTOCRATS!

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>>40282238

>>40260925
Our champion has been found.

Who will claim the other three?

>>40260925
Anon... Are you sure YOU aren't slaanesh?

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>>40260925
>Mfw I'm a servant of Khorne and reading this
Not half bad for a disgusting Slaaneshi.

>>40277217
Much kek

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>>40282400

> Be 6 ot 7
> Be playing in school's playground
> There's a huge ass concrete castle
> The last floor is only accessible via a rope ladder or a plastic slide
> It's "bring a toy to school" day
> Bring a hard ass plastic axe and a plastic sword because I liked swordfighting
> No kids wanna shortfight
> Fuck it, I'll just chill in the castle then
> Climb up top
> Group of popular kids there chilling
> "You can't play here, your toys suck!"
> These kids always kicked me out of the fucking castle.
> Not today.
> Big fat kid comes push me out.
> Fucking judo throw him on the sand bellow
> Other kids come running
> Round house the first one, he falls and hit the one behind
> Kids fucking scrambling down.
> I won
> Look down at all the other kids playing with their stupid toys
> Draw sword and axe. Thrust arms in the sky.
> "I AM THE KING!"
> All fucking kids staring at me
> Leader of the popular kids is thumping his chest
> "That's MY castle!"
> Look him down
> "I AM THE KING OF THIS CASTLE!"
> He says something to his friends, they go around telling it to the other kids.
> All other kids fucking dropping their toys down
> They all start walking towards the castle.
> MY CASTLE.
> So it begins...