Every year, a grand pageant is held where each of the twenty-seven kingdoms send a single talented bard to represent them on the world stage. This contest, while supposedly held in the spirit of unity, solidarity and building bridges between the kingdoms is in actual fact highly corrupt, fractious and riven with political intrigue and tactical voting.The PCs are tasked by their government (who are responsible for hosting the tournament this year) to make sure that this year there is no foul play and the event is not marred by the usual politicking, particularly of the smaller, North-Eastern nations.
>>40149220>event focused on 27 bardsI've seen enough PnP to know where this is going.>the usual politicking, particularly of the smaller, North-Eastern nations./pol/ pls
>>40149242>/pol/ plsYou evidently don't know eurovision.
>>40149220hm sounds like it could be funare there any books on the eurovision song contest i would need to research this before i could run it
>>40149242Look at this fucking Americuck, pretending he totally knows what's up.Also>implying that the smaller, North-Eastern nations wouldn't in fact be the ones who are /pol/ as fuck
The realm of Gorassia have sent a mysterious young woman to represent their nation. Whispered rumours suggest she is a witch and some of the court have sworn they saw her take the form of a great, black bird at one point during dress rehearsals.
>>40149262start your research in these placeshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzmI3vAIhbEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiH4BFTELMEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAh9NRGNhUUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwVDXWGXE_8
>>40149262Not much research needed. Just imaginge a huge party that changes every year:The contents get campier, the songs shittier and everyone gets WAY too invested into it.
>>40149264As a matter of fact, I happen to be europoor. I just don't particularly care about pop music.
>mfw as usual, the Gallian entry INSISTS on singing and giving out the results of their vote in High Gallian, as opposed to the Common tongue like everybody else.
>>40149276 Alsohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwfGKEIn5xwand since i've mostly been posting the shit campy ones i'll throw the last few years winners down now2010:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QSgNM9yNjo2011:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7BbJsOq-I82012:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcnWysA9gxo2013:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k59E7T0H-Us2014:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRUIava4WRMand yesterdays winner:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3avE4Zsp14g
>>40149287>eurovision>pop?Maybe if you're swedish.Far as the UK is concerned it's literally just the biggest gay event of the year.
>>40149287>I just don't particularly care about pop music
>the old kingdom puts forward their worst bard as a deliberate snub
>This year a young and rich country from across the waves send their own bard. Met with controversy, the bard seeks to wow the judges in his native tongue "Farkin shit cunts."
Gossip around the court is that the brother and sister duo representing the kingdom of Albior secretly engage in unnatural, incestuous acts with one another.
>the inclusion of a bard from the nearby sultanate is met with skepticism and protest>the Kaiser allows it anyways
>the dwarves of Khazad Kaztria have sent their fairest maiden to sing
>>40149279You can also pretty much predict the votes a nation will give merely by geographical location and political feelings towards the other nations.So yes, most east-european countries will vote for each other. As will basically every other group of nation.
Are we allowed to point out the voting system is inherently flawed?
>>40149385Also, this year practically everybody voted for Russia because they were shit scared of being invaded by them.It was only based Nigella Lawson that stopped them from winning by giving 12 points to Sweden.
>>40149388Yes, yes it has been flawed since forever.But don't let that bother you, I'm sure we'd horribly mangle and break even a proper voting system.
>be paladin>one of the acts is literally a bunch of werewolves
>>40149344>Despite this, they still pay to go straight to the finals
I'm fucking appalled. They're even letting the fucking ogre kingdoms compete this year.
> your nation doesn't care about winning, just beating a long time enemy
>>40149400Don't worry. The creatures of the night never do well. People just can't bring themselves to vote for them, it seems.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ydRhwnwk-s
>any intervention the PCs make on stage must be done without stopping the song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OFk15TmPzwDo you guys remember that year where the contest got invaded by pirates?
>>40149442Liar, Cezar got 4th right?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA
>>40149287i dont know much about eurovision but im pretty sure it does not get much pop
>>40149460Oh fuck, my sides watching this. I'd forgotten how fucking funny it was. The forest of gigantic used condoms behind him is a real beautiful touch for me.
>>40149332not him but theres not really anything hipster about not liking pop
>>40149383shes a bloody good singerwhat i am unclear on is is she transexual or just a woman with a beard
>>40149476>I only listen to the highest quality gothic industrial
>>40149473https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfjHJneVonE>>40149483Neither, she's a drag queen.
>>40149483She's a drag act. She doesn't even pretend to be trans. That's why it's such a joke that the LGBT crowd all took her under their wing. She's literally a parody of transexuality. Even her name 'Conchita Wurst' translates to 'Sausage Cunt'.
>>40149476I agree, but since pop is literally shorthand for "popular", the misconception is reasonable. I just can't trust popular opinions on music ever since Nickelback and Ke$ha and such.
>>40149512i can understand thati dont mind some pop but most of it does not appeal to me>>40149489gothic shit on the other hand i dont like at al
>>40149501>She's literally a parody of transexuality.No she isn't. Like at all. She has literally said 'I am not trans and what trans people go through is way harder than what i do'
>>40149501Eh, at least she's in a position to actually get awareness of LGBT blablaba out there.Who cares if she's a drag act instead of a trans? She's a woman with a beard on international television, in a positive respectful and highly public way.
>>40149498>>40149501oh i seesilly social justice warriors seeing transexual people where there are nonebut still like i said holy shit hes a good singer
>>40149385I think the British vote is pretty non-biased as Eurovison goes.
>>40149533you do make a good pointwait im confused if its drag not transexuality why are we saying she instead of he
>>40149287Or how European politics works, apparently.
>>40149549British vote goes to the gayest act, as only homos watch here.Anyone watching eurovision in the uk and claiming to not be a homo is lying.
>>40149577"M'lord they know."
>>40149577>mfw this is what he actually believes
>>40149563I don't know dude lass ladd ladette, the beard confused me.
>>40149563Well, it still gets a little muddied. Tom (the guy behind Conchita) basically insists on having no idea who Tom is when acting as Conchita, and insists on she/her etc. when acting.
The whole thing is totally gay... My only question is,How did Israel end up in a European competition?
>>40149577Someone's missing out on all the cute hurdy-gurdy Eurowaifus.
>>40149608ah i see that makes sense
>>40149616Hey i didn't say all male homos. Just all homos.Lena hawt.
>>40149612Fuck that at least they have a Mediterranean coast, why do we invite Azerbaijan every year just so they can give their twelve to Russia without fail.
>>40149612>>40149242Now you can cry /pol/, m8.
>>40149637Ah, Azerbaijan. Or, to give it its real name, Turkey Jr.
>>40149577We would've given the Polish titcows 12 points last year if it wasn't for the meddling jury.
>>40149577This is true, I was interested in Eurovision for the first time this year because I was in a betting pool and everyone started thinking I was gay.
>>40149563You can say her or him or whatever you like. The whole point of the act is to blur lines and promote the giving of no fucks when it comes to gender.
>>40149442Remember the time literal demons were summoned on to the stage and won?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeOMA7lANmg
so how does the voting work
>>40149612How the hell did fucking australia end up in there either.But really, it started as a european thing, grew to include some other nations.
>>40149657thats deep man
>>40149660I think it was rigged. A lot of villagers reported seeing bonfires and black masses out in record numbers that night. By the time the witch hunters arrived, though, they'd all vanished.
>>40149661You vote for your allies and neighbours, and not for Britain or Germany.
>>40149661Nepotism, boredom and general cluelessness.
>>40149664Australia love the shit out of eurovision, so as a special for 60 years of eurovision, they let australia enter. australia don't get to enter again and if they had won they would have to pick a euro country to host.
>>40149661The public vote for their favorite act, and the votes are collected up and assigned a points score relevant to their popularity. Then each countries jury throws the votes out and gives 12 points to a shitty ballad or the gayest act possible.
>>40149383>>40149425If you see it like this the whole thing looks fun
>>40149674wait so countries vote for other countries how the fuck do they make a descisionim going to go do some research into this
Twenty years ago I lived in Brussels and they only people interested in The competition were gay Germans...
>>40149670Seriously. It's a guy. A guy who looks and sounds and generally behaves like a woman. With a beard. At what point does the gender system break down and it's only a person?
>>40149660That was the same year that they let that convicted paedophile and child killer perform, wasn't it?Lot of weird, dark shit went on that year.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYgE7O0OLyw
Anyone else feel the bards were just too safe this year? where were the mad jesters? The trapeze artists? The fire eaters? They all just sang some windswept love ballad while playing on their shitty lutes. I'm pretty sure that there was only about 3 of them but they changed banners after each act.
>>40149690if australia wins who do you think they would pickthey have been trying buddy up with japan for a while now maybe they will beg for japan to be allowed to host
>>40149700When Putin shits a brick and has to go lie down and rest for a while in his happy safe room.
>>40149694They hardly do, and as a result the votes depend on a weird mix between cultural preferences, politics, and maybe how well the performer was.
>>40149703Crazy acts are out with the introduction of the juries. As is bloc voting. Supposedly
>>40149702>40 year old white man rapping with slutty schoolgirl backing dancers>someone thought this was a good idea
>>40149713>and maybe how well the performer wasfuck anon i almost fell off my chair in laughter
>>40149708Well japan is not euro.Germany seemed to think it would be them or somethingAnd i could have totally seen that as the UK were basically begging them for it and oz would love to piss of the UK by giving it to the germans. the UK is still mad hung up on ww2.Probably as it's the last time we were really relevant.
>>40149708oh wait it looks like its already over looks like Australia came 5th with Sweden winning
>>40149703The old kingdom genuinely had one of the most exciting acts this year. That was not meant to happen. The clothing illusions were pretty cool though.
>>40149691This is such an apt description.Anyway the way to run this IMO would be to pick the weirdest act from each nation's whole Eurovision history, fantasy-ify it
>>40149275That was a legit good song though, I've got to admit
>>40149749Yeah, usually the old kingdom sends an absolutely abysmal act. I think they like coming last on purpose because they aren't as powerful as they used to be.
>>40149738>Well japan is not euro.i know but we have a pretty stupid goverment so they would probably try and get it to happen anywayand thats not true you have been relevent since then theres uhmfuck your right
>>40149768We still got better than france, so congratulations and pats on the backs all around.
>>40149768>mfw the Isle of the Green didn't even qualify this yearThey're usually so good. Rich musical tradition, fey influence they say. I remember a couple of decades ago, you could be sure of a win for an Isle of the Green entry.Although, those two identical twin pixies singing songs about water was a bit of a misstep.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_9QaVC-NKw
It is suspected that the central empires, despite being prime sponsors, have little interest in winning the contest but send mostly mediocre acts chosen by their courtiers in entertaining and mercifully distracting negotiations. This has the side effect of allowing the emperors to stamp down their feet with much effect when they feel others should be reminded of their power.During times of political struggle, it has been custom to vote in favor of the neutral and removed island-kingdom of the leprechauns while in times of deep peace the realms of the androgynous high elves tend to be favorites.
>>40149797There's literally no point in time where those pixies weren't a mistake in multiple huge ways.
>>40149738u wot m8? You're American, right?
>>40149771Let's be honest, at this point the only country that won't ever be invited to Eurovision is USA, if only because everybody knows they won't get it and will send Timberlake or Kanye West to win the contest. Because 'MURICA.
Everybody knows that hosting the grand tourney is a colossal expense and a waste of money and, while it can be considered a point of pride to host the contest by the smaller, less influential nations, no monarch really wants to empty his or her treasury funding the blasted thing.The Isle of the Green famously kept winning time and time again, and eventually had to get two clerics to write an intentionally awful song about a lovely horse in order to avoid having to pay to host it again.
>>40149726AoC across the eurozone is around 16. And if you manage to score just above that, people are more likely to give you a high-five than a judgemental stare. So that kinda stuff isn't entirely off the charts.
>ITT: we realise european section of /tg/ actually doesn't give a single fuck about Eurovision
>>40149852tfw confused MaRo by sending message about eurovision (he updates tumblr so fast it was actually breaking up my friends posting about eurovision)
>>40149791Literally the only thing that matters, also Oz what the fuck? Not a single point from you and San Marino gives us three, with one pity point form Ireland and Malta.
>>40149875Thanks for the information, paedophile contingent of /tg/!
>>40149875You're legally right, socially totally wrong.Please only actual euros post in this thread now.
>>40149876You're either American, 14 or very, very stupid. I assumed the kindest option.
>>40149887imma go look at thisi imagine that he would prefer it if it had more restrictions
>>40149875Just because you should doesn't mean you shouldIf you're not around that age you still get the judgemental stares
I genuinely think a campaign based around Eurovision and the political dodgy dealings therein would be really entertaining.When Azerbaijan hosted it, there was LOADS of corruption going on. People were being forced out of their homes by the government, so that they could demolish them and build a stadium on top of them. The Azerbaijani act was literally the President's daughter's boyfriend. When he was questioned about whether this was in any way nepotistic, the guy became really standoffish and defensive and didn't do himself of his country any favours at all.Seriously, throw a bit of fantasy set dressing on this and you've got a potentially really fun political campaign.
>>40149919I have no idea why you think that.Are you saying the UK is not both hung up on WW2 and also holds comparatively fuck all global power.I mean it's hyperbole to say not relevant at all, what with still being one of the worlds largest economies, but that's mostly due to having the position of being in the EU but not the eurozone.
>>40149852what? I'm sorry, but no. Even if you send kanye, a shit ton of countries are going to specifically NOT vote for you for being tryhards. Eurovision doesn't invite the US because we're still fucking annoyed at every competition you fucking call "Worlds Championship" or whatever when it's just you on your fucking lonesome, waving your flag of american exceptionalism.
>>40149885Only those countries without legitimate chances of winning, really.>>40149897Well, it depends on the circles you are in.People surely won't think you respectable for it and even your lads might think your taste lacking for dicking a vapid kid like that but I don't think you would be shouted out of the room.If you are quite the moron yourself, people might even find it fitting.
>>40149921wait whats this about baning stoneforge mystic in standardi should check his tumblr more often
>>40149927I meant just because you could, my typing is shit todayHonestly we have just given up here in the UK, we know we're not going to win anytime soonIf only we can give up trying to win the World Cup
>>40149460Say what you want, but that guy can sing.
>>40149960Ja, you don't stand a chance at this point.Just give up.
>>40149971Best gay vampire EU
>>40149975Fuck off, Fritz.
>>40149888they were still mad about the whole being an island for criminals, i think. Plus, if you just got into a big competition why would you vote for a friend you know is always in it? Look at all these cute little countries you never saw before!
>>40149950oh man i have got to start reading this the man is hilarious
>>40149602I can't get over how fucking blatant that pic is. Like, this is literally like porn. How was this allowed?
>>40149960That's exactly what a friend of mine said last night while watching Eurovision. "Wow, UK just completely gave up, right?".Great songs by Latvia, Georgia, Russia and Lithuania. The Swedes didn't convince me this year and for fuck's sake, Italy, stop trying to sell us Ill Divo again.
>>40149942>Worlds Championship" or whatever when it's just you on your fucking lonesomethat does sound like a pretty stupid thing to do
>>40149997It's even worse. I think she's 17 in that video. I'm not even kidding.
>>40149791>mfw FrenchBad choice of lyrics, bland interpretation... I swear, it's almost like if our country is dead set on loosing each and every damn year.
>>40150009>implying that doesn't make it hotter
>>40149998>yfw none of Il Divo are actually Italian
>>40149988>cute little countries you never saw before!i kekedoh god i hope /pol/ doesent come in and make some shitty joke about america not knowing countrys because there stupid or something
>>40150009She's literally mimicking a facial cumshot. Like, fuck. It's just a blatant sexual reference. It's not even veiled, it's just right out there.Based Poland.
>>40150013At least this year Switzerland and Belgium didn't leave you guys alone and spoke French when giving out points.I cringed so hard last year (also the Finnish rapper, oh god that guy).
>>40150036Wasn't Poland the one with the milk maids last year? That was awesome
>>40150050the picture is from that one yeah.
>>40149220>The PCs are tasked by their government to make sure that this year there is no foul play and the event is not marred by the usual politicking>not to make sure their contestant wins through foul play and the usual politickingYa blew it.
>>40149998I haven't seen our act to be honest, that's how much I don't care about it
>>40149998Trust me, none of us Italians give a fuck about this. We just send the winner of our supposedly prestigious national music festival no one really cares about anymore.>>40150021Sadly they are, Sicilians emigrated to US who made a fortune there singing shitty music every Italian would cringe listening to
>>40149948>Well, it depends on the circles you are in.Yeah, it says a lot about those you're in.
>>40150036This year they brought some MILF in a wheelchair. Cheap shot with the videos of her before the accident, by the way.She should've pimped her wheels with some polandball trims or something. That would've been truly awesome.
>>40150069>Sadly they are, Sicilians emigrated to US who made a fortune there singing shitty music every Italian would cringe listening toNO.>The group is composed of a vocal quartet of male singers: the Swiss Urs Bühler, the Spanish Carlos Marín, David Miller American and French Sébastien Izambard.
>>40150101What happened? Did some cheeki breekis break her legs for protection money?
>>40150112The hell you talking about?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Il_Volo
>>40149887ah i found it hehhttp://markrosewater.tumblr.com/post/119704653013/ah-maro-i-see-you-are-yet-again-undertaking-the
After their lack of success last year with some buxom singing milkmaids, the kingdom of Ledzia made the unusual move of sending a singing remade.
>>40150114Fuck if I know/care. The song was pretty meh. Poland's last year submission was stronger/funnier.Also I'm still salty about the retard punk band not making it to the finals.
>>40150158I'm talking about Il Divo. You know, the group that we were actually talking about,I mean, I can understand your confusion, what with 'Volo' and 'Divo' being completely different words that are spelled completely differently and sound completely different, but still...
>>40150101>Cheap shot with the videos of her before the accident, by the wayfor shame poland for shame
>>40150177Il Divo was not at Eurovision
>>40150167>Also I'm still salty about the retard punk band not making it to the finals.But they were just straight up bad man. If you're going to send a rock entry it better be flashy as fuck or you get nothing.
>>40149703The northern wastes sent Orcs to the contest this year.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4Y0HOPL5GU
>>40150193M8, are you being deliberately dense. Nobody said they were. This guy >>40149998 compared Italy's entry to Il Divo. Then I pointed out Il Divo aren't Italian. Then you started sperging out about Il Volo. Get on the same page.
>>40150218Their orcs have got way less impressive over the last 10 years.
>>40150231i can understand anons confusion
>>40149400Can we agree that they were like the best fucking dancers we've had in the contest in years?The chick also looked hot in TV. I'm trying to find a closer pic...>pic very related
>>40150237The things they sent that time weren't orcs.They were deamons and undead from the cold north.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzbxizbc0bQ
>>40149708>maybe they will beg for japan to be allowed to hostI would allow japan in only if they send this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wza9QWogfxQ
Russia giff twelve points... To Russia. Vot're you going to do about it, eh? Eh, comrade?
>>40150205>implying Eurovision has actually anything to do with the quality of the submitted songs
>>40150218Half orcs you men.
>>40150167thats a milfwhats the age threshold for milf she cant be younger then 35
>>40150279I fucking love Putin. He's like a real life Dr. Doom or something, glowering over Eastern Europe, enforcing his evil will and causing terror. The shadow that he casts over Eurovision is especially funny and supervillain-like because of how ultimately pointless the contest is.I mean, it's not like Russia would even be happy if they won the thing. All the gays would be flocking over there next year.
>>40150267well that video does seem very eurovision appropriateholy shit i really want them to let japan inis china allowed to compete or are they a little to far east
>>40150279>>40150319Putin is obviously your campaign's BBEG.
>>40150279I was so torn about russia coming second. I mean, from the look on the singer's face, Putin clearly has her family locked up somewhere ready to be killed if she didn't make top 3. And to be honest, russia not winning the eurovision is good, because their horrid track record against the gays means that you won't have people boycotting eurovision or just not feeling safe to go to the eurovision live.BUT FORCING RUSSIA TO THROW A HUGE GAY PARTY WOULD'VE BEEN AWESOME. Everyone would've sent gay acts.
>>40150280Yeah but if you're going to send shit you at least need to make it sparkly shit. Still has to be entertaining and they just weren't.
>>40150356>Hilp me. If I am not winnink, may femly will be execute.
>>40150337Over time it will probably slowly encompass everywhere but murrica. Most people are thinking china will get to be the next special guest since they love eurovision too.
>>40150356Russia singing a song about how tolerant they are was toppity top kek, though.
>>40150386Everyone is equal in gulag.
>>40150356>BUT FORCING RUSSIA TO THROW A HUGE GAY PARTY WOULD'VE BEEN AWESOMEit would be interesting to seerussia will have to allow them and with all the homosexual forigners the local homosexuals will be able to safely start some sort of revolutionwith all the media attention that will be on it at the time russia cant do anything against them
>>40150370silly dievoshka, your family is fine and alive, they're already waiting for you in the gulag
>>40150370>SEE PUTIN, I SINGK FOR RUSSIA, CONTRYS LIKE US NOW, NO KILL FEMLY
>>40150356>Everyone would've sent gay acts.I was thinking about who could be sent by my country. I came up with Sodom doing a re-release of Sodomy and Lust.
>>40150386wait did they really do thatvideo please
>>40150427>re-releasehas to be a new song, unfortunately.
>>40150356I actually liked Russia better than Sweden this year. She should've won the contest and yes, that way we get to invade Moscow with gay flags and homo PDAs.I think it was the "best" song (you know, by Eurovision standards) and the booing wasn't really deserved. The girl also got a lot of flak in Russia for getting chummy with Queen Conchita.
>>40150423NOT SO FAST, RUSSIAN SLUTDOG.GEORGIA IS HERE.GEORGIA STRONG.GEORGIA WILL BE FREE FROM RUSSIATHEN DESTROY POWER RANGERS ONCE AND FOR ALL!
>>40150441Lorde meets the Witcher.
>>40150431https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVJW9ImpiWc>>40150438Yeah, I feel kinda bad for her for clearly being a good act, but forced to represent something people hated.>>40150441>THEN DESTROY POWER RANGERS ONCE AND FOR ALLmfw
>>40149998But the UK song was actually decent and deserved better than it got, I mean look at where Montenegro game in, they did not deserve to be there.
>>40150356>BUT FORCING RUSSIA TO THROW A HUGE GAY PARTY WOULD'VE BEEN AWESOME. Everyone would've sent gay acts.That would indeed have been awesome.
>>40150267i wonder what marvel thinks of this
>>40150441Seems like a pretty good Liliana Vess cosplay
>>40150267plot twist:all of those men are completely straight only those women in the back are homosexualanybody got a translation
>>40150481>some horrible mashup of electro swing and tron legacy>decentIf you wanna talk about "deserved better than it got," look at germany. nil fucking points. Black Smoke was a SOLID bond opening credits song.
>>40150479She's pretty qt. Like a Russian bride Leslie Knope.
>>40150523>Black Smoke was a SOLID bond opening credits song.Oh totally but Montenegro will still shit.
>>40149501Drag queen performers are a staple of lgbt communities everywere
Some German autist apparently counted every flag shown in the audience on /int/.>>>/int/42179506
>>40150479>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVJW9ImpiWcoh wow surely whoever choose that song had to have noticed the ironyi think it was chosen as a massive middle finger to putin
>>40150437Ah, too bad. The song is from the 1987 album Persecution Mania, too.Hm. Maybe Seeed could be persuaded to do something. They're not especially gay that I heard, but their style would probably piss off Russians to no end.Or maybe The BossHoss. Redneck-posing Country about, i don't know, gay cowboys? That would get the point across.>>40150438I think Russia was one of the weakest acts, really. Right down there with Serbia's NDPD and Montenegro. Just typing their name feels like talking about them too much.
>>40150496it would be pretty funny to see saudi arabia hostalthough i think most of the problems in saudi arabia dont exist in the capital city
>>40150564thats pretty fucking impressive
>>40150461>Lorde meets the WitcherShe can go on the pile of Lorde lookalikes, like seriously.Ginger Lorde>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY1FCXDojMUMale Lorde>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G48p8eNhnd8
>>40150267japan hosting would be possibly more interesting then Russia hosting not as epic in scope but it would be weird seeing how that weird mix of prudishness and sexualy outwardness that japan has will reactof course for that you will have to actually look and analyze it will not take much work to notice the result for russia though
>>40150569>Persecution Maniaoh wow that would be fucking perfect
>>40150523I liked the UK entry this year purely for being one of the zaniest in an otherwise bland land of bland ballads because everyone who tried to copy last years winner totally missed what made conchita so good.As they will every year forever.This year however had no cakes to bake, no sparkly silver drag queens, no adorabe norwegians, no norse abombinations.20s+LEDs was literally one of the weirdest things there.
>>40149290Yeah fuck those guys
>>40150689>20s+LEDs >weirdest thing in Eurovision 2015Austria put on a fucking beatles/bee gees cover band who SET THEIR PIANO ALIGHT.
>>40150711Austria sent coldplay passed up these guys as an entryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZJ63Jho4p8
>>40150564wow /int/ is a strange place here on /tg/ something like that would be applauded
>>40150261Ok /tg/, her name is Julia Spiesser and she's French. She's not bad. Not bad at all.
>>40150736Holy crap those guys are awesome. Why would you fucking pass up on those guys?
>>40150711Finland sent a bunch of retards doing punk, but they we're dropped in the semifinals.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4Y0HOPL5GU
If you had to pick one act from each country from all of their Eurovision entries to use in the game, what would it be?
>>40150842Isn't Moskau a Eurovision entry from like '84?
>>40150842>FinlandLordi.That one is not even a question
>>40150855dschingis khan entered self titled song in 79I suppose sweden would probably have to be ABBA
>>40150062What might be even more interesting is to have a year long campaign where you're hired by a third party that doesn't care about who wins, but wants to make sure that the weirdest acts actually go through to the final instead of the boring ones.
>>40150784>Japan, Brazil, USWhat.. what are you even doing here?
>>40150842Other than the dubstep vampire? That guy from Bulgaria in 2009, he came up to the stage in chainmail. Krassimir was his name. God it was awful (in the best way).
>>40150927https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxVlCPowmjwhow did i forget this
>>40150914This resurgence of Eurovision as this campy, gay as fuck, country-hazing festival full of terrible shit has proven to be a huge international success.I know some Americans who follow it just to be seen as hip and "European". They are the same kind of guys who follow the Premier League and support Manchester U.
>>40150855It doesn't matter when they played, just the most distinctive/best fitting for a fantasy game.
>>40150975To be fair, as a Euro who isn't that into football, any sport has to be better than American football.
>>40150927I think 2009 was just a golden show really.
>>40150842Ukraine has to be between 07 and 09https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfjHJneVonEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqclaNucp24
>>40151052Fuck, how to choose between them?
>mfw I realise each Eurovision entry is like a perfect post-apoc gang
>>40151052>LETS SPEAK DANCE>SIEBEN SEIBEN AI LU-LUAll I need to do is see those clothes and the hook is immediately there in my mind.I guess sometimes, you just gotta send your old warforged bard when everyone else is just too busy doing actual work.
>>40150356It'd be like that time we got Hitler to give an olympic medal to a black dude.
>>40151088I've worked it out. Is it a fantasy or a sci fi setting. If former, '09, if latter, '07
>>40150842From Finland Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät.Shit's just the besst.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4Y0HOPL5GU
>>40149612Wait what?....I say this as a Amerfag who is completely against the idea but if Australia is invited then we might as well send a dance routine
>>40151007Not true! There's also baseball.
>>40151164Australia got a special invite for 1 year only since it's the 60th anniversary.
>>40151164australia was invited and ONLY this once because eurovision has a huge following in australia. If they won, they would've given the prize to host the next competition to their country of choice.Soooo not gonna happen.
>>40151188I'd love to see Australia back next year. They were a great act and we all had a huge lot of fun with their Bruno Mars wannabe.Also they seem to "get it".
>>40151255Oh sure, but it's supposed to be a one time deal, so I don't think they'd be allowed back in. I mean, rookie mistake, sending in something that's actually good and listenable, you know?
>>40151255Australia did it good cos they're like a newfag who didn't immediately start spouting shit and actually lurked moar before getting involved.It'd be cool to see them back for landmarks, like every 10 years or something.
>>40151140I still do not get why the fuck my countrymen voted them. Trying something different is OK but the least I expect is a good song and theirs was not. And now if you try to critically comment why they did not succeed you get pointed as the one who hates retards.
>>40151052>stripper legionnairesi dont even what. im giggling like a fool. The romans didnt even make it to ruthenia, did they?
>>40151052Bards, not even once
I sometimes get the impression, the people in charge of the German contestants don't want to win. They tossed a lot of assured victories.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1-spXKGJ8https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZH86ufaAUM
>>40151395We voted for them because they are great, hilarious, and they have good attitude.Their song is pretty much as punk as it gets, and their performance at yurovision was way better than most of the shit there. No pointless stage shows, lights etc, just the song, and attitude.Europe clearly just wasn't ready.
>eurovision>"most talented" anythingNot. Even. Close.
>>40151908Scooter would definitely have won that if they hadn't pointlessly switched off for halfthe song.As for the other one... interesting. I like it.
>>40150736This is great.
>>40151007>>40151182It's surprising/kinda hilarious that the stereotypical murrican is as smart as a bag of hammers, but they absolutely love statistical, rules-heavy sports.
>>40149997We're European, we can get away with that shit.
>>40152919It mostly consists of shouting when a ball gets anywhere near something interesting.And then rioting when your team looses, because sports fans are scum everywhere.
>>40149262Every year it's a source of unlimited bantz that gather 500+ individual posters into one sticky on /int/ that gives /b/'s posting speed a run for their money.
>>40150975>I know some Americans who follow it just to be seen as hip and "European"
>>40150975Tell those americans to stop being fucking retarded. Eurovision is not hip, it's fucking dross of the most uninspired kind. Last time I liked Eurovision I was nine years old.
>>40153963I've recently come to enjoy it again for this >>40153680 exact reason.
This is fucking trash culture.
>>40154445trash culture is best culture.
>>40154445Well, yes. Your point was?
>>40151164>invited>sendThe Empire that rules the continent on the other side of the ocean (which every nation on this side of the ocean hates and therefore have always been excluded from the competition) has sent an act.Their armed forces' Military Chorus. Three dozen Bard/Fighters and Bard/Barbarians who insist to be let on stage to sing the Imperial Anthem.
>>40149919Calling someone American is your KINDEST option?
>>40154806Only six performers allowed. Pick your best six.
>>40155146The Empire isn't even invited, they've sent a small scale invasion force, why would they even care about any of the rules?It's just another headache for the PCs.(Sorry if this double-posts.)
>Still hungover from my Eurovision party last night.>mfw this threadI'm a fucking huge Eurovision fan. Ask anything about the contest.
>>40155541Why do all the Eastern Euros vote for Russia even if they don't' really like them?
>>40155564Because if they don't, then Putin will invade them.
>>40155564>AllegedlyNeighbouring countries have similar tastes in music>RealityLots of Russia natives. People who live in foreign countries tend to vote for their homeland. One of the reasons Malta usually gives the UK points, it's full of expats.
>>40155638>burning pianoNevva been dun befoehttps://youtu.be/QmZIcWNGMpE?t=37s
>>40155638>thumbnailThat smoke looks way too much like a female chest
>Your party is summoned to meet the king at the palace where the contest is being held, who has a special mission for you>He tells you he wants you to sabotage one of the entries this year and make sure they lose>As you start to protest that you can't do that, he holds up a hand for silence>He needs you to sabotage the entry from his own nation>As per tradition, the tournament is hosted in by the kingdom who won the previous year's tournament>The king's country, which is renowned worldwide for the talent of its bards and singers, has won the tournament five years in a row now, and the treasury is completely empty after paying for five consecutive grand feasts and celebrations>If they win this time as well the country will be completely bankrupt. The economy will collapse, peasants will starve, armies will rebel, and the entire nation will collapse into anarchy>Your job is to represent the host country, and perform a song so bad, so mind-numbingly horrible, that nobody in their right mind could possibly vote for you as the best
>>40151968Yes yes the attitude was there but the song was shit.If you have ever watched it before is you should be aware that the "official critic panel" looks the show, music and general playability of the song so PKN lost in everyway possible.And seriously>Europe clearly just wasn't ready.Only thing proven is that Europe has ears that work.
>>40149242>/pol/ plskek look at that guy who doesn't even watch YurovizionFrance-> Belgium, 12 pointsMontenegro-> Serbia, 12 pointsSerbia-> Montenegro, 12 pointsGeorgia-> Armenia, 10 pointsArmenia-> Georgia, 10 pointsAzerbaijan-> Russia, 12 pontsBelarus-> Russia, 12 pointsLatvia-> Russia, 12 pointsIceland-> Norway, 12 pointsDenmark-> Sweden, 12 pointsPortugal-> Spain, 12 pointsSan Marino-> Italy, 12 pointsMalta-> Italy, 12 pointsUK-> Australia, 10 pointsMoldavia-> Romania, 12 pointsMacedonia-> Slovenia, 10 pointsetc, etc
>>40149290>mfw France, Switzerland and Belgium were all french this yearFrancophonie strong. Suck it Norman rapebabies.
>>40149549>10 points to the colonies
>>40150975>support manchester unitedjesus christ
>>40155988Like I said.>as Eurovison goesBut Oz's song was doing well across the board.
And twelve bombers to... Lithuania!
I would just like to remind everybody that this happened, and that it was excellenthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWcTOeDkrzU
>looking at past winnersSweden yes
>>40157016The guy who won is actually homophobic apparentlyBy Swedish standards anyway.
>>40157188But no one in sweden cares about that, since Måns is almost a national treasure since he hosted a show called Allsång på Skansen, an institution in swedish television.
>>40151395As if we'd win with good songs, we win with weird gimmicks!
>>40157240Just look at the people winning!Like Sweden who totally won with that video wall thingy!And Germany had that... uh, that cute girl on stage, yeah.
>>40153721He isn't wrong. I have some friends that are doing because it's popular despite not knowing where half these countries are at in the world.
>>40157016Dude, you don't even know half of it.Almost all foreign songs are written by us. Many by the same man.We win every year.
>>40157393Not to mention the guy who runs the whole show (and who's been running it for a long time), Christer Björkman, is swedish.He is also incidentially a gay.
>>40149321The britbongs are bitter that they always fail...For some reason they always send shitty pop artists or ballads, even though UK produces some of the world's best Rock music and Electronic music. I really don't understand how can they find such band entries year after year.
>>40157514It's a bit more complex than that. If Britain did put in a good entry they would still do badly.
>>40157514It usually boils down to the Continentals hate Brits and the Brits hate Continentals.
>>40149709This is the reason why the Nordics love gay culture so much these days. We are absofuckinglutely delighted by the panicked tantrums any mention of homosex causes on the Slavs. Its like the most hilarious thing ever.Come here Slavs, we will tenderly penetrate your bums. (no homo)
>>40157514Nobody good would choose to go. They would not do well even if they went. The contest is not respected by the British, and the selection of artists is down to some nebulous community of 'music industry professionals' who select groups seemingly at random.
How does your country select it's contestants?Here in Sweden we have like 4 semi-finals, and a loser's bracket to determine who gets to be in the real competition.
>>40158099Pretty sure we just pick some random.
>>40157514The U.K. actually has a lot of historic Eurovison success, it's just been going downhill since the 90's.
>>40150003Does anyone else even bother entering, though? Just reach for the grapes already and stop calling them sour.
>>40150804We weren't even trolling. We genuinely think PKN is awesome.
>>40150267>yfw Japan is finally allowed to host>yfw they send Miku>yfw she wins
>>40157526We sent andrew lloyd webber and he did fine in 2009.
>>40156904Pft. It's so godawful. Thank you Evil Empire Jr, you guys just made my day.
>>40151418No, but they made it to the integral Ukranian territories of Taurica.
>>40155737if you think i can do it sir i will try my hardest
>>40157514Hey, up yours; this year we entered a song that was sung well, with zippy lyrics, great staging and disarming kookiness... and we got passed over for generic crap like Montenegro and Azerbaijan
>>40150842Has everyone forgotten epic sax guy already?
>>40149652This is like a 13 year old's idea of what "sexy" means; ironically Germany's entry that year were 66.7% pure sex. I was SO disappointed when this year's German entry couldn't sing
>>40158546oh my god yes
Fuck yeah, Eurovision! I would never have heard of Koza Mostra if it wasn't for them being in Eurovision.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naGe5E22NjM
>>40150523No, fuck you, Ann Sophie couldn't hold a fucking tune. You sing like shit, you get nul points - that's how it works.Okay, that's it SOMETIMES works, but Germany really didn't give a shit this year.
>>40150114She was in a car crash, I think.>>40150313>whats the age threshold for milfAccording to the Oxford English Dictionary, 30+>she cant be younger then 35She turned 35 in January
>>40161494Well, she actually came in second, but the guy on first took one look at the contract and told them to fuck off.
>>40160893>MontenegroI still can't get over that shit nor can I get over San Marino giving us 60% of our total votes and that's just because of Italian telephones.
>>40161315>alcohol will never be free
>That disgusting tranny wonEvery single time. Why are we promoting that shit on TV, where children can see it? If you want to dress as a woman fine, I enjoyed the Rocky Horror Picture show. But don't do it near children or on a big TV event.
>>40161631>Conchita>not classy as fuckPick one, o Lord of Faeces
>>40161631actually its just a drag queenwhich come to think of it is probably more damaging on a childs psych then a transexual could ever be (but still not very damaging)but you know what i dont care about that because holy shit the mans a good singer
>>40161631You think drag queens are the most fucked-up thing Austrian kids get confronted with?I heard some of them actually saw the sky once.
>>40161712also its worth noting that the guy from rocky horror was transexual not just a drag queenwell i would assume as such he does say transsexual transvestite
>>40161742He said "sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania".
>>40161782Which would probably upset real Transylvanians quite a lot but what are they going to do exsanguinate us?
>>40149501Sausage Cunt is the name of my next prof rock band