>>40133942
>Bad felling
nice to know

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>>40133942
I forgot to put in the techs, one moment while I pull that up.

Also, stats of the world.

>>40133969
No problem mi amigo.

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http://pastebin.com/pTTnjymw
There we are.

CUTH STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 105
>Population Growth 10
>Population (Awaken) 10
>Population Growth 0
>Population (Human) 105
>Population Growth 10

Two actions and a tech please!

Also, the event ended inconclusively, seeing as how my internet went to shit (The joys of Comcast) so if you want we could redo it.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>A1
Check for Mush Activity

>>40134072
We should do it when we get back to the mainland
>>40134074
>21
shit

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>>40134074
>A1: Mush
>21: Below average failure!
Now that a majority of the armed forces has arrived in Cuth, many of the captains have sent out patrols along known paths and rivers to find any advancing Fungals. Unfortunately, the mortality rate for these men and women is roughly that of eighty percent. Bets are soon being made by the civilian population of who'll come back. This doesn't help morale in anyway shape or form.
>-100 to army size!
>Pic pretty much what ends up happening to them

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>40134173
>A2
Expand the City in all aspects, military, Population, you name it

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Rolled 22, 58, 77 = 157 (3d100)

Off to a great start we are.

>>40134203
>A2: Expansion
>44: Average!
With the recent surge in available labor, much is made in the way of expanding Cuth. Due to the rather obvious problem with the walls, many decide to dig down rather than move out. An intricate set of tunnels is made beneath the sandy shore, and many head in and make a home. They find it strangely comfy, though a disturbing sight is soon found. A body, covered in moss and fungus, left in the middle of a dark and damp hallway. Maybe this is why everyone felt so off.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

Present and accounted for.

>R
See if we can find a way to hypnotize the Mushrooms.

>>40134271
why the rolls? Events?
>>40134299
Welcome back!
The rolls are amazing today

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>>40134299
Welcome

>>40134321
Nope, chance of a civ bumping into you.

>R: Hypnosis.
>21+5+5=31: Failure!
The idea of getting the Shrooms to turn on eachother is an idea that frequents your officers' minds. Only problem is getting it to work on the battlefield. As such, some take to getting it with runes. This leads to many body parts flying around Cuth. The same happens with totems, and little in the way of progress is made. May they rest in peace.

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DROZEN STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 6680
>Population Growth 215
>Population (Awaken) 775
>Population Growth 45
GROK STATS
>Population (Minotaurs) 2395
>Population Growth 105
>Population (Awaken) 415
>Population Growth 35
GORRIC STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 1410
>Population Growth 115
>Population (Awaken) 455
>Population Growth 65
>Population (Human) 1660
>Population Growth 130
ALAGAR STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 535
>Population Growth 65
>Population (Awaken) 200
>Population Growth 30
>Population (Human) 535
>Population Growth 65

I propose we try to find some other civs, we might need them for the coming conflict.

>>40134498
we have found the Humans, Deep Ones, Halflings, Mush and now Dwarves, just as a reminder

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Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>40134532
Understood, though the new civs might be interesting to fuck with.

A1 is scouting to find some new guys.

>>40134570
Righto, one action. By the way, if you want to do a scouting roll add +15 to it, we have techs that make it easier to do.

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>40134596
so 75
>A2
Train the Awaken it Specail combat that suits their larger, rock-y-er bodys

Sorry for being late. I had to watch a shitty movie with my friends for a while.

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>>40134570
>A1: Scouting
>60+15=75: Above average success!

With the king gone for the time being, some feel it is time to up and find new friends (or foes). Well, not so much them, but the scouts. After a few irritated grumbles, they set out once again, heading towards the mountains to the west and bright yellow dunes to the south.

>Mountains
Those who head to the west find that after climbing up the jagged peaks, signs of civilization could be found. Albeit those signs were mostly bodies and shattered rock, but you've go on what you've got, right? A few hours later they come across a single building carved out of the stone of the mountain, with dark red crystal like beings walking near it. A short time later (after the resulting panic of seeing Minotaurs subsided) they introduced themselves as clan Ichiko of the Crystalid civilization.
>Discovered Crystalids!

>South
The scouts who headed south soon were hit with a wave of hot air and winds of hard grainy sand. Weathering the sweltering heat, they manage to make it a few miles before finding a cool blue river. Overjoyed, they took the opportunity to drink from it and refill their canteens. After this had been done, they noticed a figure hiding in tall grass nearby. Upon further investigation, it was found to be a woman, with her bum having been replaced with a big yellow and black, thing...With a hard stinger attached to it. She quickly flew off.
>Discovered Thriae!

>>40134650
>A2: Awaken
>50: Average!

Weaponizing the Awaken has crossed your commanders' minds before. They're certainly built for it, what with their hard exteriors and seemingly endless stamina. The only problem is getting them to want to fight. They seem to be naturally pacifistic, much to your chagrin.

>>40134782
Eh, don't worry. I had to see Bug rule 34 to get you the picture.

>>40134782
you're not too late, we've only done Cuth and 2 Mainland Actions so far

>>40134875
What s/he said.

>>40134469
A3: FInd about more about the two new civs. We could use them as meatshields.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

Here's a roll from an Anon, just for you.

>>40134963
nice roll, Anon

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I'm digging the flag by the way :3

>>40135018
I think we've found a new opening picture!

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>>40135018
Thank you. I spent a whole 30 minutes on it.

>>40134963
>>40134924
>A3: Civs
>64: HOT DAMN LUCKY NUMBERS!
Before returning to Drozen, each scouting party decides to have a chat with their new acquaintances.

>Thriae
These people seem very, odd. You would say parasitic, but they don't do any direct harm. Instead, they all are bred as female, with no males native to the species. As a bonus, to further their population they require a "pure" male. Apparently Minotaurs don't qualify, and a human (or some other full breed) is needed. They more or less kidnap these men and treat them as royals, serving to their every whim so as to keep them around. Not that they could leave, considering how guards patrol the halls of the hive constantly and the Queen keeps them locked away in a glorified dungeon.

>Crystalids
The Crystals, as your people call them due to being unable to spell their name properly, work in a clan system, with a central leader (Shogun) protecting them all in times of species wide conflict. Other than that they all take "turns" so to speak acting out their season, and must send runners to other clans to notify their turn is up. This has led to them developing a code of honor ingrained into their society more than sex drugs in yours.

>>40135099
Indeed

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>40134976
Thanks. If I can I'd like to take an action to send a hero (William maybe? He seems like the only "pure" hero we've got.) to the Bugs to try and from proper diplomatic ties.

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Guys. We're on the front for once. High fives all 'round

Also, we need four more actions and a similar number of techs

>>40135163
Did you just offer William as a sex slave? I approve

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>>40135099
I cleaned it up a little. It looks a bit better now.

>>40135233
No wait you can still see the axe. I should really learn how to edit.

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>>40135163
>>40135217
>See pic

>>40135233
I like it. Nice work Port!
>>40135253
Eh, I think it adds to the effect

I'll type up A4 at the end of this turn, since that requires its own mini storyline.

>>40135263
In that case I'd suggest we establish a hidden settlement somewhere. That way if things go to shit we have a backup. Near the ruins perhaps?

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>40135263
Fair
>A5
Increase Population Growth for everyone, not just Biological

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Rolled 53 (1d100)

I'll roll for you.

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>>40135333
>>40135342
>A5: Babbies
>83: Great success!
Word of the "Festival of Love", as some have more eloquently put it, has spread to the mainland rather quickly along the Magrail. As such, many take this opportunity to skull fuck their souls out. The resulting come down is both the sweetest and most painful thing your people have ever known. There also appears to be at least one idiot who made more Awaken growth spots. So that's something.
>+100 to all growth on the Mainland!

>A6: Secret Settlement
>53: Average!
While the scouts were scouting and the fuckers were fucking, some took this opportunity to slip away from the crammed cities and move out to the military outpost near the Big Fucking Wall. As such, a proper settlement is established, with many still calling it "Secret Outpost" Originality is not the commander's strong suit apparently.
>+100 to all pops in Secret Outpost!
Port?

>>40135468
I like you. You seem like a fun DM.

>>40135468
How many actions are left?

>>40135510
2 Actions and 4 Research

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>>40135510
Two. And we still have four techs to do.

>>40135500
He is the best DM ever, Our minotuars' Culture is sex right now, what more could you want?

>>40135583
First, thank you both.

Second: Cocaine and methamphetamine so I could write about the seedy underworld.

>>40135614
The Mino's would have one of those
>plz dont

>A
Hold a Eurovision Fuck-Shit-Up Contest with all cities contributing a champion to the arena. This could up moral and make the young'ns join the army. :3

>>40135645
Topical and Awesome, I like it, but rolls needed

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>40135645
Oh right I always forget.

>>40135685
HOLY GOD, PORT THIS IS AMAZING

>>40135685
>>40135723
Agreed, but what species will the hero be? And what will their specialty be?

>>40135764
Civvie

>>40135764
A fun way of solving it would be attaching a number each city, and rolling to see what city gets picked. The halflings and humans and stuff can of course contribute.

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>>40135645
I like the tie in with Eurovision.

>>40135639
Never tell me to not do something. Last time you did that the royal baby was nearly killed by Mushroom people.

>>40135685
Hale-fucking-lujah.
>A7: Eurovision
>96: Amazing success!
While the main army is away, much of the live entertainment is gone. As such, the city leaders have had time to argue with each other over who is the superior city. The end result is a broken wall and an agreement to hold a grand tournament! All cities contribute, with two humans and two tauren. Some battles were short and decisive, with the obvious size advantage coming into play in a human versus tauren match up. Others were slow and deliberate, particularly with the tauren match. Many sparks flew as the clash of metals deafened many an ear. Eventually one fell, leaving the two remaining competitors facing off. One was a muscled up human man from Gorric, standing roughly 2 meters tall and having enough strength to lift a fully grown tauren over his head. His opponent was a young tauren woman of Alagar, who instead of focusing on strength and flashy battle-axes like her peers, chose the more elegant style of "Fuck you, I'll fight dirty." This was seen as an equal challenge, considering all she had were small steel daggers. Her choice to do so was, quote, "Inspired by her parents, seeing as how I didn't get tauren ones." Note how I say "was". Her speed tore the poor man to ribbons within seconds of the round starting. She stands, covered in blood over his body. He clings to life due to a rune etched into his back, but he has clearly lost.

>"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A WINNER!"

What is this woman's name?

>>40135954
That's awesome.

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>>40135984
Gracias.

>>40136009
That inspires me. We should give her a Mexican name and have her mix Spanish into her vocab.

>>40136023
No problema mi amigo. Viva Suecia

Roldana?

>>40136101
Uno voto para Roldana

>>40136129
Dos :3

>>40136101
I like it. Sounds Mexican to me.

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>>40136101
>>40136129
>>40136152
>>40136159

As the announcer steps out onto the bloody stone floor of the arena, the human is dragged out, wimpering in pain and trying to keep his innards where they should be. He strides up to the tauren woman, waving to the crowd with a blood stained dagger.

>"Excuse me miss, what is your name?"

She looks over to him, pale green eyes standing as a stark contrast to her oddly red hair and pale skin.

>"Me llamo Roldana, and thank you for having me."

The man looks a bit confused, having never heard the first bit of her sentence in another language. Regardless, he grabs her hand and holds it high in the air, still dripping dark red blood.

>"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE CHAMPION: ROLDANA!"

The crowd more or less loses it, cheering her name as she walks out. Today has been a good day.

>Gained hero: Roldana!

>>40135954
>>40136247
That was fun. Thank you for the high roll Port.

I just had a huge fucking heart attack. I thought I had deleted the folder containing all my PDF's, but after looking for it for a few minutes I found it safe and sound in another folder. The gods surely smile upon me this night.

>>40136302
The File Gods and RNGesus smile upon you today

>>40136302
Indeed.

>>40136247
Rolanda is going to go places, I'm sure of it.

>>40136337
Not entirely good places, but still places.

So, one action and four techs before I have to vividly describe William's attempts at diplomacy with nymphomaniacs.

>>40136419
Let's make them count.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>R
Find out about these weird-speakers. Where do they live? Why do they have this peculiar dialect?

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>40136419
Oh god...
>A8
Increase Diplomacy with Halflings
>>40136473
we already you that, or do you mean Roldana?

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>40136419
>>40136472
Condoms. William might need some.

>>40136500
Rolanda

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>>40136473
>A8: Diplomacy
>88: Amazing success!
The high spirits of the recent fight carry over to diplomatic talks with the Halflings. The cheery mood your people give off seems to make them feel a bit more comfortable, and you manage to decipher their odd accent within minutes of talking with them!*
*For reference, your previous contacts had extensive contact with your people, giving them an easier to understand way of speaking. Think Icelandic mixed with Russian.
>Relationship with the Halflings: Neutral to Friendly!

>R1: Dialect
>35+5+5=45: Average!
When later questioned about her strange way of talking, Roldana seems a bit irritated.
>"Look gringo. I don't question how you speak, do I? Bastardo..."
Despite her reluctance, she soon speaks of how her adoptive parents spoke strangely at night, and she managed to pick up the language while growing up.
>Hispanic Tauren invented!

>R2: Condoms
>23+5+5=33: Failure!
Birth control seems like the exact opposite of progress to your people. Why would anyone want to not have babies? Besides, these "condoms" feel weird. Granted they are made of fur, but come on.
>Pic: More or less the material the proto-condoms are made of.

Righto. That was fun.

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>>40136833
Meant to quote >>40136717

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>R3
MORE RUNES AND TOTEMS(Sorry Civvie, more thing you have to create)
>>40136853
We know what you ment

>>40136874
SHIT A CHILDS GONE AND DIED
>This hasn't happened in a while actually

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>40136874
I'm assuming this is bad, so I'd like to research a way to counter whatever happens because of it.

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It's happening now, ése.

>>40136904
did... did you just roll a 3 to my 3?

>>40136874
>>40136904
TWO THREES IN A ROW
SATAN HAS SPOKEN

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>>40136874
>>40136898
>>40136904
>>40136905
That was beautiful.

>R3: Totems
>3: Prepare your butts.
Totems as an idea seem like a backwoods concept to your people, little more than colonial superstition that happened to be lucky. Nevertheless, some young mages take to creating them within the Mages guild. When attempting to show these off, they end up accidentally writing a rune down on a piece of paper which is then copied to be used as cloth for later use. The end result of this series of unfortunate events is fifty dead children.

>R4: Cure
>3: So much FUN
One of the few students to survive this (seeing as how he didn't touch a cloth) tried to bring his friends back to life, again with runes. He, being a necromancer (secretly of course, can't have that be out of the bag now can we?) tries using rune magic on another piece of paper. He forgets to not touch it, and feels the life slowly drain from his body, soon to be replaced by hunger...Fortunately he is trapped in his room.
>Zombie invented!
>Disgonbgud.png

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>>40137074

>>40137074
So now we have to try and keep William alive with a race of sexually depraved bee-women?

>>40137210
Looks like it

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Rolled 20 (1d100)

You may want to deal with that. In the meantime, let's start William's Diplomatic Adventures!

>ENTERING ADVENTURE MODE!

Figuring it would be a poor idea to have a young elven girl in the middle of an uncharted hostile jungle, William took his ship back to the mainland and dropped her off at the local hospital. When her got word that diplomacy was needed and that tauren weren't "pure" so to speak, he got a bit pissed. How dare these "Thriae" be so rude to his comrades and friends?! William decides "Fuck your people in particular" and gives Sophie a quick kiss before departing for this hive.

While on the road barely traveled, the pale blue eyes of William spot a river. Noting how the scouts reported finding a river before encountering the Thriae, he sets down his gear and makes camp. Soon enough, he spies hazel eyes peeking out at him through grass.
>What will William do?

Rolled 41 (1d100)

Ready his weapon and call out to the thing. I don't know if a roll is required but I'll make one anyway.

Guys?

>>40137420
Sorry I was reading something and lost track of time

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>>40137419
Sorry, shitty internet.

William, not knowing if this pair of eyes is hostile or not, draws his blood red sword and grabs firm hold of it.
>"RRIGHT. GET THE FOOK OUTTA T'OSE BUSHES AND FIGHT ME 'IKE A MAN!"
His booming voice causes the creature to stumble back, revealing it to be a female Thriae. He rushes over to her, weapon ready to strike.
>"TELL ME 'HO YA ARE RRIGHT NOW!"
She sputters for a bit before speaking in a meek voice.
>"I-I'm a drone, I don't need a name...But we need your kind, please follow me."
>What will William do?

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>40137544
Follow with caution, make sure hes not going into a trap

This gone bee good

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>>40137602
Dag nabit Port.
>>40137594
He allows her to get up, but keeps his sword at this side. Following her, he finds that she's not one for conversation, as any attempt at getting more out of her is met with:

>"All will be explained at the Hive"

They trek across the sands, climbing (well, William climbs, the drone flutters) up and down seemingly endless dunes as the sun beats down on them. After what seems like hours, a massive yellow honeycombed structure is visible in the distance. The drone looks up to the sky, seeing that the sun is now setting.
>"We won't be able to make it before nightfall, we must find shelter."

>What will William do?

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>40137752
Make camp, but keep an eye open while sleeping

>>40137842
That's a noice roll right there.

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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>40137842
Dice gods be blessed.

>"Look. I don' fookin' know you. So here's tah deal. We'rre gonna make camp, an' you ain't gon trry to fuck wit' me while I sleep, got it?"
She nods, and sets about clearing a spot under the shade of a dune to make camp. While doing so, William notices her using an odd golden yellow substance to glue grains of sand together to make a hard flooring. After this is done, William props up his tent and is promptly knocked over when the girl ducks inside. Grumbling to himself, he walks inside and more or less makes a wall of gear between him and the bee. With sword in hand, he passes out.
>Rolling to see what happens.

>>40138015
Is that roll good for us or bad?

>>40138060
Depends. How does being woken up by a bee girl trying to drag you through a desert and slicing her wings off sound?

>>40138101
Interesting

>>40138101
mmm, sound fun, but not very sure if it very good for diplomacy

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>>40138015
>>40138140
>>40138141
Well, she was trying to kidnap him. I think that justifies it.

While dreaming a pleasant dream about drinking, women, and more drinking, William is shaken about. Then a distinct dragging sound is heard as he slowly opens his eyes to the jet black night. He hears a buzzing sound and looks up to:

A) The breasts of the drone from before.

B) Her tired look as she appears to be dragging him

and C) The starry sky as he is being dragged through the sands, noticeably closer to the hive than before (roughly a kilometer).

Realizing what is happening, he panics for a moment and swings his legs around to grab onto her thorax and nab his sword. With it in hand, he takes a desperate swing and lobs off the drone's insect wings. They both come crashing to the ground, albeit with differing emotions.
>"What...The...FUCK ARRE YOU ON! YOU COULDA GOT'N ME KILLED!"
As William yells at her, she shrinks away, trying to hide her face and crying a bit.

>>40138292
What do?

Rolled 87 (1d100)

Tie her up and put her in a sack. We're taking her prisoner for now.

>>40138329
well thats happening

Alright, one moment. I have to deal with something.

Loving this.

Its weird, I've been awake for 22 hours, but I dont fell tired

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>>40138329
>>40138346

William, rather tired of dealing with bullshit all bloody day, says:
>"Fuck this, FOOK YOU, just fuck ev'rytin in generral."
After this, he grabs the tarp that he carried with him as a makeshift tent and ties her up with it, though stopping the bleeding from her wings before doing so. After this, he takes out a blanket and fastens it into a basket of sorts and drops the drone in it, still sniffling a bit.
>"I-I'm sorry...I just needed to serve the Queen."
Giving her a glare, he looks up to the Hive.
>"Fook it, I ain't gettin' any sleep now..."
With this, he sets out to the Hive, and arrives in roughly an hour.

As he approaches the gate, or what he assumes to be the gate, he sees more of the drones buzzing about the hive, some going in, others going out. Several stop and stare at him, noting the drone on his back and sword in his hand. Some guards are called, but they maintain a distance away from him. As far as William can tell, this is the only way in.
>What do?

>>40138540
Thank you good sir/madam.

>>40138557
I know how you feel.

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>40138564
William declares his presence, where he comes from and why he's here

>>40138625
Damn you are on fire right now.

>>40138692
I know right!

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>>40138625
>Where did he come from, where did he go? Where did he come from Cotton Eye Joe?

Cracking his neck to the side and scratching his beard for a second, William clears his throat before speaking.
>"ALRRIGHT LISTEN UP! I AM WILLIAM DEGROOT AND YOU BUNCH O' PANSIES ARE GON' TELL ME WHY YOU T'INK MY BEST FRRIENDS IN THE FOOKIN' WORLD ARE NOTHING BUT ANIMALS THAT CAN WAL' ON TWO FOOKIN' LEGS!"

Many drones and even some guards cower in fear as the man speaks, having never heard such a deep or loud voice in their lifetimes. One guard, presumably the one in charge, remains, staring straight at him with a double edged sword.
>"And I am al-Hara, Captain of the Guard. I intend to arrest you and throw you in the Royal dungeons for this incursion onto our land, as well as attacking an innocent drone.”
William looks at this with a disgusted look on his face, then replies:
>”SHE TRRIED TO K’DNAP ME IN THE MIDDLE O’ THE FOOKIN’ NIGHT!”
al-Hara considers this for a moment, then speaks up,
>”Alright, since I am not in a position to decide your punishment, we will take this to the Queen. Follow me. Fucking men…”
>What do?

Rolled 82 (1d100)

Follow her. We'll probably get killed otherwise. Try to get information out of her along the way.

>>40138957
The rolls... I cant believe out luck with these rolls

The 1 will come at the most important point.

>>40139078
It has before I think

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>>40138957
Stop rolling so high. It guarantees shitty rolls later.

Smirk on his face, William follows the woman inside. Stepping inside, he notices a patchwork frame being the only thing keeping the structure up. Poorly at that. As such, he makes a comment to himself.

>"Fookin' hells bells this place is a dump."

The woman looks back, annoyed look on her face.
>"I'll have you know that this is the Hive of Queen Cloa, ruler of the only Hive in this region. As such, she's the one who get's the lioness's share of the resources, making this "dump" the finest piece of Thriaen engineering you'll ever see. Not to mention the most beautiful women."

William chuckles a bit to himself, then replies:
>"Sure it is. And my first name is Patrick Stewart."
She scoffs, then stops promptly in front of a grand door of a viscous golden liquid.
>"Queen's inside, expect to come out with me dragging you to the dungeons."
With this, she steps inside.

>>40139078
>>40139098
It has, see the royal baby.

>>40139201
>What do?

>>40139234
The dice was rigged by mushroom infiltrators. They've breached the 4th wall.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>40139234
Step inside and see what the hell's going on, and try to be diplomatic about it, William

>>40139288
STOP. THIS IS LIES. NOTHING ABNORMAL.

Weird, computer's acting up.

>>40139288
I almost laughed out loud and woke up everyone in the house then

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>>40139314
>these rolls

>>40139342
>File-Name
DAMN IT PORT, MORE BEE PUNS

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>>40139371
I know it isn't the latest buzzzz, but I'm just trying to break away from the hive-mind.

>>40139421
that was terrible

>>40139441
I can get beehind you on that, I'm just trying to honey-comb through my vocabulary for words with more stings to them.

>>40139501
Fuck sake Port, stop or every in the building will wake up with me laughing

>>40139534
Am I pollen your leg? I'll try to beehive more in the future.

>>40139593
I'M GOING TO DIE

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>>40139314
Figuring "Fuck it, I've come this far, might as well cause an incident", William steps through the liquid, emerging into a vast empty room. Well, empty in that the ceiling reaches high into the sky, enough to make some clouds form. Returning his attention to the center of the room, he sees an elaborate throne of fine gold and sandstone, engraved with symbols of bees. On the throne sits a woman, who you assume to be the Queen. To say she is gorgeous would be an understatement, as her beauty rivals that of the finest Highland women (Fuck it, imagine the most amazing girl, and that's what she looks like). Unfazed, William marches right up to her, still carrying the drone on his back and with sword in hand. Pointing it right at her, he yells in the same voice as before.
>"ALRRIGHT YOU FOOKIN' CUNT, YOU'RRE GONNA TELL ME WHY YOU T'NK MY FRRIENDS ARE UNINTELLIGENT BULLS WITH HORNS FER BRAINS!"

The Captain looks at you with surprise, then a smug smile. Then she turns to the Queen, and speaks to her in a respectful voice.
>"My Queen, this man has been found to:"
>"Trespass on your property"
>"Assaulting a drone for doing her job"
>"And C: Disrupting the work of the hive."
>"As such, I do believe his is in position to be thr-"
She's cut off by the silky smooth voice of the Queen.
>Hush Captain, this is the first time someone's spoken to me directly in years. It's nice to have a decent conversation rather than talking to servants all damn day."

With this she turns to William, yellow-black eyes staring into his soul.
>"So tell me young William, what is it you seek?"

>What do?

>>40139618
To bee perfectly honest I'm just (bee=winging it at this point. I bumble(bee) a lot when I write.

I have to do something for a few minutes. In the meantime, discuss among yourselves how to go about this.

Should we ask for bee slaves, or something more diplomatic?

>>40139738
NO SLAVES
Its one of our rules, no slaves
DEFINITELY something more diplomatic

>>40139757
Maybe we'll ask them to not attack us, and maybe to trade or something?

>>40139790
Non-Violence Pacts and Trade Pacts, and maybe tech trade or help with the Mush problem if they can help

>>40139738
>>40139757
>>40139790
Jesus Christ I'm away for two minutes and you start talking slavery.

>>40139825
That sounds pretty dandy. The bees seem somewhat ok, but the queen is sketchy af.

>>40139895
>>40139825
>>40139790
I will need a roll for that, if this is what you're going with.

Rolled 85 (1d100)

I'll roll real quick then.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>40139943
There!

>>40139966
I'm stunned and amazed.
>>40139968
Shhhhh

BY ONE SECOND WE GOT THE BETTER ROLL

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>>40140000
Nice quads.

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Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>40139966
Port you magnificent bastard.

Calming down a bit, having been red in the face for several hours, William begins to speak a bit more clearly.

>"Rright, look 'ere Queenie. What I wan' is a guarrantee t'at you won't hurt me frriends. On top o' that, I wan' some o' the rresources you've got 'round 'ere."

The Captain facepalms, and is about to speak before she can the Queen replies.

>"Straight to the point? I like that in men. Considering how you've brightened my day so much with your arrival, I'll pardon you for hurting one of my drones and even sign on that non-aggression pact. But if you want some of my riches, I'm going to need something in return. Now that can be resources, technology, or other things."

She winks.

>"If you know what I mean."

>What do?
>>40140000
>>40140123
Since you got quads, you'll get a +10 to the next roll.

>>40140174
William doesn't have a girlfriend, right? just an adoptive daughter?... Maybe he should.. you know...

On the one hand, having sex with her might kill William or make her have a demon bee baby that'll fuck shit up, on the other hand it's sex.

>>40140222
>>40140239

Nope, no girlfriend. Just Sophie as an adoptive daughter. If you want that, I'll need a roll. And I'm changing the +10 to +15

>>40140239
They live off of having sex with other races,demon only one 1
killing william? might happen

We could just leave without their resources. They live in a pile of shit anyway.

>>40140222
>>40140239
>>40140275
There will be no demon baby, seeing as how you already have one.

>>40140307
They can read minds as well.

Even if minos aren't good for breeding for these bees, surely they could still make for a good lay for horny bee-women, right? That would be an interesting working relationship.

Rolled 12 (1d100)

Fuck it, out culture is sex, right?
FOR SEX
>Roll for sex with Bee Queen

>>40140329
Shit
William isnt very good in the sack

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>40140329
Tell you what. I'm gonna roll to see if I give you a reroll or not.

>>40140326
This guy knows whats up.

>>40140356
He isn't very good at waxing the ladies. He's always been a bit rough and uncombed.

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Reroll for you.

>>40140379
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

>>40140416
So we reroll, or do we use the one you rolled?

>>40140438
Reroll. If it is too low then I will use my roll.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>40140461

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>40140461
REROLL
FOR SEX

>>40140488
This is me. I forgot my name again.

>>40140499
I cant sex right now

>>40140499
Beeat you to it.

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>>40140488
>63+15=78
William looks back at the Queen, matching her smug grin with his own. He sheathes his sword, drops the Drone to the ground with a light thud, and speaks.
>"Rright, I'm no' in a position to be workin' out tradin' deals, so I've an idea that'll make us bo'h 'appy."

She looks at him, while the Captain looks on in disgust. With a lustful tone in her voice, Queen Cloa responds.
>"I was hoping you'd say that. Everyone leave, he and I need to be alone."
Like clockwork the various drones and guards leave the throne room, leaving only the man and the Queen. Stepping off of the throne, she walks over slowly, making sure to show off everything, and whispers into William's ear.
>"You and I are going to have some fun."

>What do?

Hopefully fun means what I think it means and not kill-and-eat the nice Scottish guy.

>>40140668
As a bonus, I'll write up some smut and post a link to it in the next thread. Why? Because FUCK IT.

>>40140705
Don't worry, that was the tarantula race. This is the bee race.

>>40140705
Me again. I'm very forgetful.

>>40140668
... really?
WILLIAM FUCKS HER SILLY
..Sorry, I let out my inner perv
Do we need roll for this?

>>40140742
Honestly, it was just for position. And who's on top.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

Rolling for sexy top

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>40140766
WILLIAM ON TOP
I cant believe to Thread has turned into deciding smut

>>40140783
Port you smooth motherfucker. I still need position.

>>40140794
>tfw beating you to every roll
Feels good man

There should be a passive bonus to sex with other races if this kingdom's creed is pretty much sex. Maybe research it later XD.

>>40140857
Alright, adding this trait to the other races as we speak.

>>40140835
If you get the better rolls, I dont mind one bit

>>40140874
The tarantula hermaphrodites will appreciate that

>>40140881
>>40140874
Do you people want a smut or not?

>>40140905
Smut is fine.

>>40140930
Alright then, GIVE ME A DAMN POSITION FOR THEM TO FUCK IN.

>>40140881
SMUT IS LOVE, SMUT IS LIFE

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>40140945
She actually flies with him on top of her, doing swirls in the air, him clampering on and wrestling her. He lies on his stomach with his face burried in her bosom.

>>40140991
We already had the roll, so thats fine,plus that will be a fun read

Ok, I think I will sleep now, so im off bye!

>>40141165
Goodnight sweet prince.

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>>40140991
Port, I'm just saying position, not "please roll for if you survive sexytimes"

>>40140668
>>40140783
After what seems like eternity (really roughly eight hours) a guard pokes her head in to see the Queen nuzzled up to William's bare toned chest, then quickly ducks away.

>"Can't say I've ever had a man top me before, not to mention be so creative!"

She giggles as she says this, kissing him and getting up, still dripping a bit. William follows her, wearing only his kilt.
>"Glad ah coul' be o' service. Now about that deal..."
She cranes her head around, flirty smile on her face.
>"Oh don't worry. Just come back every so often. It gets a bit lonely around here with only girls."

With that, she props herself back up on the throne and calls her servants back in.
>"Drones! Come in and clean up! And send my new husband on his way back to his homeland!"
The Guards come in first, with the Captain in front grumbling to herself. Then the drones, seemingly a bit too eager to clean up after William and Queenie. Before William can object to his new matrimony, he's being carried out by a rather athletic guard back to the tauren lands. And what did we learn from this?

Sex solves all problems.

>>40141165
Good night!

Do we end it here for tonight? If so I'd just like to say goodnight, and thanks for putting up with my shennanigans. You're a really good DM and these are always lots of fun.

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CUTH STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 105
>Population Growth 10
>Population (Awaken) 10
>Population Growth 0
>Population (Human) 105
>Population Growth 10

This entire thread has been one turn. I am honestly amazed.

Two actions and one tech please!

>>40141242
Let's end the turn with Cuth. Thank you for the compliments and I think your shenanigans are quite funny.

>A1
Population growth
>A2
Make a town guard (preferably lead by the nice Russian captain)
>R3
Better ways of transportation in the jungle/marshes.

CUTH STATS:
>Population (Minotaurs) 115
>Population Growth 10
>Population (Awaken) 10
>Population Growth 0
>Population (Human) 115
>Population Growth 10
Messed up the stats, sorry.

Rolled 53, 16, 77 = 146 (3d100)

>>40141381
Forgot to roll again.

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>>40141381
Nice Russian captain. Don't think I've ever heard those words in that order ever before.

>A1: Pop growth
>53: Average!
Upon investigation, it's found that the Cuth birth rate is far too low, as the recent Festival of Love led to a massive spike in births. As such, more room is made above and below ground for the new residents and strippers. Hard stone is also found, and an Awaken growth is set up underground.
>+50 to all biological growth in Cuth!
>+20 to Awaken growth in Cuth!

>A2: Guard
>16: Complete failure!
Milomir sets out to make a proper town guard, rather than relying on bored soldiers patrolling outside the safety of the walls. Unfortunately, many can't seem to get the hang of "Don't touch the wall or you will fucking die." As such, many a poor soul are lost to the walls.
>-100 to army size!

>R: Transport
>77+5+5=87: Great success!
Seeing as how rivers can only get you so far inland, and that much of the interesting shit goes down inland, some of the more creative grunts have set about making new forms of transport. Many are novel in concept, but impractical in reality. However, one idea sticks out. an amphibious boat, with retractable wheels and powered by a steam engine, is created, and with a state of the art suspension system is able to easily traverse jungle terrain.
>APC invented!

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Good night everybody! Great thread (and soon to be smut). Stay safe and expect a new thread at:

Saturday, 5:30 EST, May 30th
Sunday, 5:30 EST, May 31st

When do these threads usually happen? At a whim or at a set time?

>>40141660
Typically speaking at 5:30 EST on Sundays, though (as shown by this thread) there is always an option for Saturdays at the same time. It depends on whether or not my GM cancels my group.

There is a possibility for a thread tomorrow, though that depends on a variety of factors.

I'd recommend checking in tomorrow at 5:30 to see if there is a thread or not. Be sure to search for us.

Also, for any lurkers, be sure to go and vote on the previous threads on suptg!