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LAST TIME, ON SPAGHETTI SNEK QUEST:
https://archive.moe/tg/search/tripcode/%21Me.qpOlLW2/type/op/

You are Katie Black, human NEET turned snake thing in a world with no internet, and you have messed up.
The setting sun paints streaks of yellow across the sky like some kind of piss deity. But you have to hurry. People are probably looking for you. Including Salvia, and this fake snake mom.

On the outskirts of the town is Sirena. Arms crossed, she explodes on you.
"What the hell have you been doing?" she snaps. Well, you're pretty fucked.
"I-I uh... I, uh, um, h-hi... I w-was i-i-in the w-woodssssssss... I... Ssssssorry...." The rest of that sentence is drowned in mumblings. You don't feel great about your choices right now. You are, once again, a disappointment.

"What do you mean you..." She sighs. "Fine. Okay. Come on. People are looking for you."
In town, by "people" she seems to mean "the entire village." Salvia pretty much immediately wraps her up in your hug. Fake Mom is there too, much to your chagrin.
>>
Character Sheets:

Katie Black: http://pastebin.com/YLaZx7qw

Paid Debt List:

SPIDERSMUT: http://pastebin.com/Z7S9enSE - by anon.

SMUT-SMUT: http://pastebin.com/sta854Sf - by huehuehue who finally delivered. thought you could delete the evidence eh?

This twitter thing everyone's talking about - https://twitter.com/Ramieru_angeru

Ask Doc your questions - ask.fm/DrUnorigional

Difficulty: This quest will have a difficulty setting that you can change at any time if you so wish, just ask, use it tactically.

>Easy mode: (Half XP) You get 5 dice rolls, best roll taken, the entire world is sunshine and rainbows. Only lasts for 5 in game story posts.

>Normal (default): (Normal XP rates and encounters.)You get 3 rolls, best dice taken.

>Challenging: (Double XP!) You only get 2 rolls, best of 2.

>Hard mode: (Triple XP and more loot.) You get 2 rolls but we use an average instead of the best one. Bad luck comes your way and shit is getting perilous, pray to the dice gods for mercy.

>Punishing: (Quadruple XP and allot of cool stuff just left lying around. )You only got one shot, make it count. 1 roll. Enemies are written as more competent/ better equipped, E.G if encountered then regular wolves will become larger dire wolves ect. You may get your shit pushed in.

>Nightmare mode: (10 times exp) Awww shit son u gon die. The worst of 3 rolls is taken, the world shifts to grimdderp and bad things happen. You can't turn it off for 10 in game posts.

Fate point: QM steals from khornette quest because he is a filthy hack, you can reroll one dice per session. Only once, and use that instead.

Dub rolls = +30

Trip rolls = +90
>>
>Current level = 75 (The traits you gained were as a result of leveling up; Boars didn't get you that much.)

>Difficulty = Normal. ( I didn't forget, I'm just not resetting it )

XP: current/total = level. For example. 35 exp collected vs a 60 for evolution = level 58

Every 25 levels you get some kind of passive perk that might have an effect on your next evolution. Whatever you choose gets strengthened as and if you evolve. Experience is given via difficulty and is relative. Remember to use the difficulty setting tactically, you can't raise it until after the fight is over.

>Mundane = 1 or even 0 XP. Shit like killing insects or knitting.

>Easy: 1-3 EXP, picking a lock or successfully hunting small prey.

>Medium: 5-10 EXP hunting larger prey that can fight back but really can't win.

>Challenging: 10-25: Shit that can fight back but not exactly life threatening.

>Threatening: 25-50 Something that could very well kill you and puts up a fair fight.

>Deadly: 50-100+ a (much?) larger/stronger opponent that may have the odds stacked in their favour
>>
>>39873525
Looks like the charsheet needs updating.
>>
>>39873497
Thanks for running at a reasonable time as opposed to fucking 4 am. Good thing that thread never happened...
>>
So guys, can we get hypnotizing gaze next?
>>
>>39873859
That'd require us to look people in the eye anon. Kinda useless.
>>
>>39873876
We might be able to get the ground to swallow us, however, which could be very useful if we want to avoid awkward situations.
>>
>>39873906
Not how the gaze works. It's basically a super weak suggestion spell.
>>
"Uh... h-hi..." you say. You are not excited to go through this whole process. You notice a few of the villagers are viewing Salvia with stern looks. Why? What did you miss?
"Where have you been?" she asks. Okay. Might as well get this over with.
"I. I, uh, I w-w-went out h-hunting and I f-fell assssssleep," you blush. Shit! They're going to rip into you for that one! Clearly, they're going to view you as irresponsible, and-
"Katie! You shouldn't go out alone like that!" Fake Mom says, with a disgustingly loving yet stern tone. Oh god, ew. It's like God threw up in your ears by implanting that sentence.
"I-I-I... Sssssssssorry," you mumble. This is not going well for you.
"Well, I'm glad you're back," Fake Mom says. O...kay?
You just need to get to Eddies'. Then you can go and have someone to really talk to. Man, you should visit with Eddie more.
"I have a wonderful dinner cooked up to celebrate finally getting together with you at last." Fake Mom throws
her arms around you now, and you are more uncomfortable when your real Earth mom caught you-
Anyway, it's pretty awful.

>Uh, no?
>Look to Salvia for help (1d10 vs a 2 to attempt puppy dog eyes on Salvia)
>Write in

>>39873656
I'll tell the person in charge of the char sheet (not me)
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>39873955
>>Look to Salvia for help (1d10 vs a 2 to attempt puppy dog eyes on Salvia)
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>39873955
>Look to Salvia for help (1d10 vs a 2 to attempt puppy dog eyes on Salvia)

>>39873990
lel

>I'll tell the person in charge of the char sheet (not me)
Well... you're the QM now, best to update your own charsheets...
Not that old doc ever did
>>
File: kek'd so hard.gif (1.65 MB, 200x150)
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>>39873990
>>
>>39873955
Activate zappy zappy electro magic.
>>
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>>39873990
>>39874083

B-but, surely 1s and 10s don't crit on a d10, right?

R-right?
>>
>>39874283
I think it was less "ha ha critfail" and more "ha ha you failed a motherfucking dc 2"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>39873990
That was a surprisingly quick fuck up, on an incredibly low dc ...
>>
>>39873990
You glance over at Salvia, a downright pitiful expression in her eyes. For lots of different reasons (all of them cringetastic), she still thinks of you as a child. Which you are, after all. A god damn murderous baby is still a baby.
But no. Salvia rolls her eyes. She is having none of it. So now you fucked up.
"You know what? This could be fun! Sirena and Cora should come too!" Salvia beams. What's she trying to say? You need to grow up?
"I... Uh... o-okay...." You weakly submit. DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Looks like Eddie will have to wait.
This is more awful than that time you tried to masturbate with a hammer. You didn't know it was covered in germs. :(
You hear the phrase "real mom" a lot among the crowd, as you make a spaghetti-tastic spectacle.
Great. So now you're having dinner with Bitch.
>>
>>39874404
Really? We get 1 roll when difficulty is best of 3?
>>
>>39874465
I know, I know, but this is dinner, and there's pasta on the menu.
>>
>>39874465
Crits overrule other 2 I guess
>>
>>39874465
Because it was too funny not to? It's not like it's a big deal

My only disappointment is that Salvia went with it instead of just turning into spaghetti herself
>>
Her house seems to be a legit apartment on the "bad" side of Twinrock. Then again, all parts of Twinrock are pretty bad. You guess that since she's been away for who-knows-how-fucking long, she has to rent or something??? you have no idea how real estate works in this world.
The apartment is unsurprisingly sparse. She only has partially chipped plates and worn cutlery. Jesus, did she get these all from goodwill?

As for the meal itself, though, there's surprisingly a lot, but Fake mom explains that it was all donated from the townspeople, who were incredibly thrilled to have Katie's "real mother" back.
You see:
>spaghetti
>a primitive equivalent to roast beef
>soup
>french bread
>wine (if you choose this, 1d100 vs a 60 to resist the temptation to get super fucking drunk)
>a simple strawberry cake for dessert

>Also, any option you choose, you have to roll 1d100 vs a 15 to convince yourself it's not poisoned
>>
>>39874547

It's kind of a mess. Never fond of when poor choices or poor dice violate characters behaving as they logically should. Salvia wanted to protect Katie from the mother who abandoned her. A bad roll doesn't suddenly make a terrible idea sound like a great one, though I could understand if it just ended up being snake mom who looked more pitiful than Katie in this case.
>>
>>39874608

> Don't eat anything. This isn't your home. This isn't your mother.
> If you want to eat, you'll kill something later, just like you had to during your first week of life.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>39874608
>>a primitive equivalent to roast beef

...Do we know how to use utensils?

How do all the townsfolk like us enough to donate all this food?
>>
>>39874615
Nah, Salvia was just frustrated by the fact we had the whole town looking for us again after going out to kill random shit. This is her idea of teaching us a lesson or something.

>>39874608
>a primitive equivalent to roast beef
>>
Rolled 67, 12 = 79 (2d100)

>>39874608
>>spaghetti
>wine (if you choose this, 1d100 vs a 60 to resist the temptation to get super fucking drunk)

I pray to god I fail
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>39874608

>spaghetti

I've never wanted to roll lower than the target DC in my whole life, for the sake of spilling the spaghetti.

I kid, I kid, it's not like we need more neurosis than we already have.
>>
>>39874688

Things went topsie turvie when Doc left. Granted, we saved Salvia's child and killed a panther barehanded in the process, the town didn't really flip over into "Ye be a hero" mode until New Doc took the helm. Now it's a thing. Gotta get used to it.
>>
>>39874721
>>39874731
Oh please yes
>>
>>39874731

I can't decide if I hate this or not.
>>
>>39874721
>>39874731

The two of you are rolling for God's Work. Unfortunately, ScrewHues ruined our spaghetti hurling.
>>
>>39874761
I vote we completely disregard my 67
>>
Rolled 58, 88 = 146 (2d100)

>>39874608
>>a primitive equivalent to roast beef
>wine (if you choose this, 1d100 vs a 60 to resist the temptation to get super fucking drunk)
>>
>>39874735
No offence to Kap, but the pacing just seems off now, and we're a little more vindictive then before the turnover
>>
>>39874783
You are causing me physical pain
>>
Rolled 4, 14 = 18 (2d100)

>>39874608
>a primitive equivalent to roast beef
>>
>>39874793

I mean, looks like we're down to a quarter or less of the original audience now.
>>
You glance over at your family while your hand wavers over the spaghetti and the roast beef, equal measures of which are on your plate. You still don't know how to use silverware, but Fake Mom and Salvia probably want to get off on a good... foot? Tail?

Salvia looks miserable. She's already sipped a bunch of wine. She probably is having second thoughts about this. You empathize with her. This whole thing is a mistake, just like you!
Sirena is toying with the bread. She looks like she's figured out a way to kill God out of pure spite. You'd like to drop in on that too.
Cora, as soon as she found pencils and paper, started drawing shit. This time it looks like birds. You help her a little. It's really soothing. Maybe you should just not eat anything and draw the whole time. However, you are also super fucking hungry.
The wine, however, is a lot of fun. You've only had a glass so far. You muster up enough courage
to have a nibble at the spaghetti.

AWKWARD CONVERSATION IS A GO

Out of the blue, Fake Mom asks, "So... Katie! How have you been?"
You reply, "Uh... f-fine I g-g-guessss." You take another sip.
"That's good! But, uh, Katie... Maybe you shouldn't have so much... wine..." She pauses.
Salvia waves a hand. "She's fine. She can handle it." You decide you like drunk Salvia.
-cont-
>>39874731
congratulations!
>>
>>39874608
>>spaghetti
Entertain Cora with fake facial tentacles.
>>
>>39874907
So basically your cherry picking dice now? Guess this quest is going full railroad audience not required.
>>
>>39874615
She sent her daughters to keep an eye, giving her time to look into fek snek. Maybe.
>>
Oh god! The spaghetti tastes terrible. You thought it was poisoned, turns out it is. You awkwardly spill some spaghetti.
"SSSSSSSSHIT!" You spit out, spraying Saliva over Salvia. Haha, woops. Nigga you done fucked up now.
Salvia, however, seems fine with it. She bursts out laughing.
"Katie!" Fake Mom stands up(?) and shouts. "So far, I have been VERY supportive of your little outbursts-"
Ah, shit. Here it comes.
"-But I have just about HAD IT with this!"
You don't know how much it would take to get a Lamia drunk, but you decide to blame whatever you say next on that. Nice job by the way in causing Fake Mom to get super buttmad in under 10 minutes.
You blurt out, "sssssso w-what?"
She slaps you.

>Fight
>You, Salvia and the girls leave

>>39874953
my bad[/spoiler
>>
>>39874907
>>39874836
>>39874836
Which is what you might expect after Kap not preparing. I completely expected anyone taking over to have a different style compared to Doc. He had an unusual bit of talent in understanding how people react, which should help him in the military.

Kap might not be Doc, but I admire the balls someone would have to actually step forwards after Doc left the stage, so I'll give him a chance to see what he can do.
>>
>>39875050
>Fight
Well since this vote is going to ignore dice and player reaction anyways why even give us options?
>>
>>39875050
>Fight
You do NOT slap the biggest snek in the room who you've just declared to be too much trouble dealing with their problems after forcing your way into their life.
>>
>>39875050
>You, Salvia and the girls leave
D-Don't want no trabble!
>>
>>39875050
>You, Salvia and the girls leave
>>
>>39875059
I fully expected it to be different, I just think that its going too fast. Doc had a way of characterization that took a while but made me satisfied. I still have no idea why we hate "fake mom."
>>
>>39875050
>Other
You're not even my real mom!
>>
>>39875050
>You, Salvia and the girls leave
>>
>>39875141
Seconded
>>
Muh fear of confrontation!
>>
>>39875050
>You, Salvia and the girls leave

Normally I'd be all for "snekchan take the wheel", but i think it'd just make a bad impression on Salvia and her daughters.
>>
>>39875160
Apparently we're drunk enough to stop caring, I don't even know
>>
>>39875183
Yeah, we aren't going to fit the role of innocent little girl who needs handholding when we try and kill our 'mom'. No matter how much of a bitch she is.
>>
I have half of the next post but I need a tiebreaker (4-4)
>>
>>39875160
>>39875185
Well don't forget how our reaction in that dream made us more likely to meet physical violence head on with snekchan.
>>
>>39875236
>You, Salvia and the girls leave
>>
>>39875236
>fight
>>
>>39875243
Didn't we still vote to run and cry every time except once, and then we just said something angrily? I mean that is more then running and crying every time but still.
>>
>>39875243
By a wee bit. Not lol kill everyone and everything!
>>
>>39875247
This one broke the tie.
>>39875268
This one is a faggot.
>>
>>39875279
>>39875281
We didn't get beat before though, and we've consumed alcohol this time around too.
>>
>>39875296
I'm >>39875247
but originally voted for >>39875141
Just in case anyone was afraid of same-fagging
>>
>>39875281
Previously it made us ask the stoned pissdoctor why he was being mean to us. THAT'S what choosing "anger" did.
>>
>>39875236
I deleted my earlier fight vote.
>>
>>39875333
Well, I'm >>39875268 and hadn't voted prior to this.
>>
Removed my fight vote also. Think I might take a break from these threads for a while.
>>
>>39875050
>Fight
>>
leaving wins and I don't want to railroad any more than I have already
It's kinda weird, being hurt by another thinking being. So far you've only really had to deal with animals (plus your head getting stuck in that door).
As a matter of fact, you didn't really hate Fake Mom up until this moment. You just sorta resented her for not being there, but you would've eventually probably come around.
Now, though, that's all out the window. Fake mom is gone.
You decide to just fucking go.
"C'mon, girls, we're leaving." Salvia says, picking up Cora's charcoal and paper. You don't want to fight. This is ridiculous.
"No! Wait!" You hear Fake Mom's screams of protests as you make your way out of the shoddy building. You probably should have expected that. Sirena shoots what you assume is a rude gesture back at her. You decide to ask her later to teach it to you.
Once you're out of earshot, Salvia laughs. "That was a mess."
"Y-yeah."
"And you know how I know she's not for real?" Salvia winks.
"W-what? How?" Maybe this whole thing is a little better now.
"There's nobdy named Arisla who's lived in this town, ever. I asked around."
"B-but I thought...." You say.
"What? You thought I was the only one who didn't trust her?" Salvia laughs. "Let's go home."
"B-but what a-a-about Eddie?" You ask.
Salvia regards you with a curious expression. "What ABOUT Eddie?"
"I-I-I, uh, I k-kinda w-w-wanted t-to vissssssit him."
"Okay, we can do that."
>>
It's pretty late at night. There's a clock back at Salvia's house, but it's been a while, so you don't know what time it is. You don't even know the date. Or the year. Or even if Eddie's awake.
"H-hey Sssssssssssalvia?"
"Yeah?"
"W-w-what'sssss the date?"
"What? Oh. Today is Maiyas tenth."
...Huh.
"Th-thankssssssss," you blush.
"Yeah. Katie, are you okay?"
"Y-y-yeah." Then you notice you're trembling a little.
"You sure?" She raises an eybrow.
"Y-y-yeah. I. Uh. I-I mean, I-I-I ssssssshould've ssssseen th-that coming."
"Yeah."
Sirena pops in the conversation with a, "Yeah, she was such a fuckin'-"
"SIRENA!" Salvia says, covering Cora's ears.
You arrive at Eddie's house at last.
"Hey," he says.
>>
You and Salvia tell him everything.
"...And then we left. It was awful," she concludes with a sigh.
"Sounds like it. Wow," he says.
"...Y-yeah" you add lamely. Wow, is that the best you could come up with?
And then you hear glass shatter.

>Investigate unarmed
>Grab a sword or something heavy
>You don't need a weapon, you're Katie. Prepare for battle
>>
>>39875852
>Investigate unarmed
What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>39875852
>>Investigate unarmed
>>
>>39875852
>Other
Stay with everyone else.

Let the adults handle this.
>>
>>39875914
Change >>39875892
to>>39875914
>>
>>39875852
>You don't need a weapon, you're Katie. Prepare for battle
>>
>>39875914
Supporting
>>
Eddie grabs a sword, and Salvia follows close behind. You take a quick peek. The plain window in the front room has been shattered, but more alarming than that is a glass bottle that has a piece of flaming cloth attached to-

You realize that it's one of Mr. Molotov's Fabulous Beverages just as it explodes. You are physically knocked back from the blast, but you quickly recover. Eddie has been knocked unconscious by the blast. Salvia seems fine, but-
Oh. No. Wait, she's bleeding a little. Maybe more than a little.
And now the whole front room is on fire.
You shoo Sirena and Cora out the back before making sure the adults are okay. The flames are spreading a lot faster now. Salvia seems okay, a little, and you pick up Eddie's legs. Salvia follows suit, and the two of you high-tail it (heh) out of there.
Eddie is now a hobo.

YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE A HAPPY ENDING TO THIS THREAD
YOU THOUGHT WRONG
>Re:Monster Snake Quest will continue next Friday night sometime from 8-10pm
>>
>>39876182

Nah. I pretty much expected this. I'm just not sure I have enough interest to follow up on it. Best of luck running this however you see fit, Kap, but I think this is where I duck out.
>>
>>39876182
>>Re:Monster Snake Quest will continue next Friday night sometime from 8-10pm
As long as that's 8-10pm European time, great. Otherwise, go fuck your elbow.
>>
>>39876260
I tried that anon, it hurt my back.
>>
>>39876226
The house is a metaphor for this quest.

>>39876182
Thanks for running, I wonder what wacky shenanigans will occur next time.
>>
No offence Kap, but like I said before, your pacing is all fucked up, and too much shits happening in too little of a time frame
>>
>>39876348
And characterisation is off. "Go investigate" is something Katie might do if it's just her, Sirena and Cora. With both parent-figures present... nah, not a chance.

Basically, she's spaghetti-snek, protector of sisters and touched by His noodly appendage. Not solid-snek, wrecker of Fume-Knights. You're trying to change it too quickly. As was pointed out before, the dream and choices made there had a _small_ impact on Katie, she went from being silent to asking why a doctor was mean to her. She didn't turn into full-on murderhobo overnight.

And where the fuck did this sword come from? Eddie has one bed, a table, some cutlery, and a rug for keeping important things under. Daggers are already goddamnexpensive, how does he afford a sword all of a sudden? What does he even use it for? He's a miner!
>>
>>39876622

There's a minecraft joke on the tip of my tongue here, but I can tell you are upset. I say this as a person who's pretty meh on the quest right now, if you aren't happy, it might be best to move on and let Kap enjoy what time he's got left on this one.
>>
Yeah, I'm not feeling this anymore. Apologies, but might be best to let this one scatter to the wind. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm out.
>>
>>39876697
Not terribly upset, actually. I did greatly enjoy the quest as the Doctor started it, he has a knack for establishing characters, I like his sense of humour, and the typos were hilarious at times. "Chicken niggers" still cracks me up.
The change in style and approach to the characters is just fairly jarring when contrasting the two QMs. I believe that Kap would like to carry on in a similar style as Dr. Unoriginal, he just hasn't figured out how to hit it yet, and until he does he'll be writing in a style that's not his, which impacts the quality negatively.

Messed up continuity does annoy me, however.

tl;dr: Tell your joke. I'm trying to give constructive criticism and possibly failing.
>>
>>39877060

Something something, punching trees. All he need was two stones, a stick, and a crafting table.
>>
Take it slower Kap, you're doing well for your first quest but this is break-snek speed. Remember it took us almost an entire thread to go find a shirt with Eddie. Spend some time on your characters and what happens to them.
>>
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>>39877060
>Not pic related
>>
>>39873955
>I'll tell the person in charge of the char sheet (not me)
Yeah you should probably copy it into your own pastebin for editing at some point.



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