>>39854272

Yokosuka has benches here and there near the more generously landscaped parts of the base – all of them in Officer Country, of course, nowhere near the rough-and-ready dock facilities – and at one of those places you find a concrete bench that enjoys the shade of a cherry tree. You brush some stray sakura petals off the seat, mindful of your uniform pants, and plop down as you fish your smartphone out of your pocket. You take a deep breath and open up your e-mail app. You're terrified of what's in there... but you're also expectant. You want to take your lumps and get it over with, the sober reckoning that Goto denied you, and an e-mail fron the CNO with the subject “ALL YOUR SHIT” and a body that says “IN A BOX ADDRESSED TO YOUR CIVVIE ADDRESS, BY TONIGHT” will certainly provide that.

Your finger trembles a little before you manage to tap the icon for your e-mail app.

…. aaaand there's nothing. Nothing in the inbox from a .mil domain. You let out your pent-up breath, and scroll through the rest of the messages.


>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

Vote for ONE. You'll get to read them all, this is just picking the order.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.
It's mom! How can this go wrong?

>>39854313
>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.

>>39854313
>>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?
It's almost Navy and could be important...

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>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.
Hopefully its cute kittens and not some YouTube link of one of our ship girls hugging us that she somehow got.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

Probably bitching about the boats.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute
Could use a good youtube link after this morning's antics.

Motherfucker.

And I wanted to sleep today.

>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?

>>39854313
>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
Probably warning us that Arizona's listening against the door.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.
Cat video ahoy.

They're still a thing, right?

>>39854313
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?

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>>39854371
It can't be worse than the Perrine newspaper thing, anyway.

>>39854313
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?

>>39854313
>>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?

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>An e-mail from your mother – probably another youtube link she thought was cute.
kittens and rainbows might turn this terrible day around

I wonder if Missouri came back, would she be protective of Arizona?

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>>39854557
>It can't be worse than the Perrine newspaper thing, anyway.
I had honestly forgotten about that. Now I hope it's something like that.

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After a second's hesitation, you click the one from your mother. Sure, she still thinks those e-cards are clever and she's prone to forwarding bullshit stories without checking snopes.com first (no matter how many times you reply with the relevant debunking link) but it IS your mother, and you could use a private moment right about now.

As you suspected, it's another youtube link. You turn up the volume on your phone and listen to the tinny speakers as the video begins to play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdVkZBm8xUk

Four minutes later, you mute the volume and look at your phone thoughtfully. You're a Captain, a Skipper, and now you're an Admiral. And Big Admirals Don't Cry. But... you tap a few buttons and forward it to Corporal Hate. It's probably barking up the wrong tree (ha ha) but it doesn't hurt to try.

Now what?

>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the yokosuka domain – the hell?

>>39854635
what am I looking at here?

>>39854635
>threatening spaghetti with a Fritz

kek

>>39854665
>what am I looking at here?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_X

>This removes the spaghetti

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

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>>39854313
>>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39854661
>>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the yokosuka domain – the hell?

New ship girl!

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

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1.54 MB PNG

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

>>39854313
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?
History? History

Think ship girls have their own email addresses and send cute cat pictures to each other?

>>39854715

They actually do, though some of them are still not sure how to computer, while others took to it like ships to... water. Er.

>>39854661
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the yokosuka domain – the hell?
Sounds like ADVENTURE!

Also, that video is cute as fuck.

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

>>39854607
You mean the battleship currently protecting the wreckage of Arizona?

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?

>>39854661
>>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?
pretty sure the come get your sailor is Arizona. she can hang out with the japs longer for her not actually learning the situation before jumping Kongou.

Dess Dess Dess

>>39854733
ETA to getting spammed from Sammy in 10, 9, ...

>>39854661
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the yokosuka domain – the hell?
As long as we wait until reading the other ones before bolting out the door, that is.

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>>39854733

>huehue Onee-sama would love this <3

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>>39854765
>Dess Dess Dess
I actually felt bad for her. Even for a nip shipslut, it is too much.

>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?
So many tempting options, but we must endure.

>>39854733
Why do I get the feeling that Willie accidentally found and forwarded hardcore pornography?

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>>39854733
I'm not surprised.

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>>39854849
>accidentally

>>39854661
>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what?
This seems vaguely important.

>>39854837
>I actually felt bad for her
While I do think Arizona's reaction was... extreme... I can't help but laugh that Kongou acted like a squeaky toy while Arizona beat on her with a rubbish bin and pencil.

>>39854849
And for once, she actually was not looking for porn.

>>39854837
Did we giver Arizona a head pat? Because she still deserves one after rescuing us.

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>>39854849
Dude. Japan naval base. She might get more effect forwarding holding hands and vanilla porn.

>>39854910
I think we did to little reaction.

>>39854901
>all this time Willy Dee was carefully cultivating an image of a horrible fuckup that can't do anything right
>she occasionally does things like fucking over ktkm very, very right
>everyone praises her for not fucking up
>little do they suspect

>>39854901
Who knows. Maybe her butt hurts.

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>>39854661
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the yokosuka domain – the hell?

>>39854956
What is ceiling cat doing in that picture?

Or is it Looooooongcat?

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>>39854956
No FREEDOM gore, bro.

>>39854733
>Harder's twitter feed

>>39854313
>>An e-mail from Mare Island Naval – wait, what? A google address? Are they going to give her a museum berth after all?

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If we go pick up our sailor, that means we're not going to have time for emails anymore because that means back to the shenanigans. Also, while I'm thinking about it, have some Willy D

>>39855000
>the corgis have twitter accounts
>Harder's phone won't stop buzzing
>Corgis tweeting "@CplHarder woof woof"

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>>39855045
Willy D 2/4

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>>39855072
Willy D 3/4

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>>39855049

>>39855049
>Cpl Harder
>Not Hate
You sure bro?

>>39855072
Was this a thing before the Kanocolles?

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>>39855096
Willy D 4/4

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>>39855045
>>39855072
>>39855096
>>39855121

>>39855121
Wait, the last part - Did Porter do that?

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>>39855045
>>39855072
>>39855096
>>39855121
I don't know where that came from but it is awesome. Go Willie.

Also, the comic forgot about Willie's clutz sinking.

>>39855188
Yep.
Shot a five inch shell into an officer's back yard while he was throwing a party.

>>39855237
Best girl.

The officers, of course, deserved it.

>>39855096
For those of you wondering: yes, FDR really did say that.
>>39855121
Wait, that's it? What about when she sank? That was the funniest part.

>Settle's old Burke gets a museum berth
>She comes back
>Even more protective of her admiral and captain than Arizona
>/tg/ not sure whether to wife or flee

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>>39854984
error musume's cat

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Every thread.

>>39855247
>Yandere Burke
>NOT waifu-ing
Do you want to die?

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>>39855287
Mhm

>>39855254
>dude let me in I'm a fairy.png

>>39855247
heresy, obvious answer is to wife them all.

>>39855309
>Do you want to die?
>/tg/ voting

>>39855309
Waifuing all the yandere ships?

I am totally in for that.

>>39855247
>Arleigh Burke
>Modern 'Destroyer'
>Riduculously-accurate radar-controlled guns
>Over-the-horizon-twice spotting
>Macross missile massacre
>Anything but waifu

>>39855247
You underestimate /tg/ and /a/'s waifuing capabilities.

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>>39854695
HAHAHAH

>>39854997
Why are the Nip carriers evading in exactly the same direction?

Does that not make them turkey shoot targets?

>>39854695
>>39855385
Was it a 30-all recipe?

>>39855385
I just can't think of Ooyodo without thinking of that exhibitionism doujin.

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While you're procrastinating, you may as well procrastinate a little longer. You ignore the new e-mail and tap the one from “Mare Island.”

“To Admiral Settle, Rear Admiral, USN:

It is my pleasure to inform you that Mare Island Naval Shipyard is preparing to accept DDG-76 in graving dock #2 within the next week. We will proceed with the standard seaworthiness evaluation and forward our repair quote to Navy acquisitions as soon as possible. Your colleagues at the San Diego Naval Base have stressed that you take a keen interest in the fate of DDG-76. As a government contractor, we are now authorized to release the pertinent information to you as soon as possible.

DDG-76 is a landmark event for our company. We are proud to have received the contract for her evaluation and possible repair, and the eyes of America are on her – and us. We are eager to validate their expectations.

Sincerely,

John M. Baker
Contract Negotiations/Public Relations
Mare Island Dry Dock LLC

You sit there for a few seconds, stunned. You've heard nothing of your boat's fate for sixteen long months – rusting away somewhere in a ignored anchorage in San Diego as more seaworthy ships (damn near any of them) received priority at the US Navy's few drydocks. And now – Mare Island Naval Shipyard? Shut down in '96, along with a few zillion other bases?

The news may not be good – you know that damn well. She might be a total loss. And even if she's not... you've got a new job, now.

>>39855413
>that exhibitionism doujin
[Quotation needed]

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>>39855413
lewd

>>39855247
>>39855309
>>39855349
>>39855350
>Yandere Arleigh Burke arrives
>Starts off very quiet but stays around Settle most of the time
>Abyssals attack the base
>She instantly goes yandere mode
>Settle is the only one not visibly shitting himself.
>We eventually have to assign her some corgis so that she doesn't lock us in the base's basement.

>>39855446
THAT IS NOT HOW HANDS WORK

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>>39855431

But it's more than you had yesterday. You type a quick thank-you reply and e-mail it off. And even if she is totaled... well, this war will end sooner or later, and she'll already be parked at (what WAS) a naval museum. And depending on the attention span of the reporters and the public, well... maybe she'll get that museum berth after all. That, at least, would be something good to come out of LA – old girl getting the respect she deserves.

>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the Yokosuka domain – the hell?

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>>39855435
http://exhentai.org/g/773628/f8a26963bf/

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
No point in putting off our procrastination.

>>39855466
>>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>inb4 just a message that says "quit being a bitch"

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

Who is this semen demon supposed to be?

>>39855466
>>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the Yokosuka domain – the hell?

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
Let the Hate flow through you.

>>39855466
>>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

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>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
This better be good.

Intentionally avoiding the sailor event for now so we can actually complete one task for a chance without getting charged/punched/moed to death.

>>39855466
>>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
sure, what does sunshine want? Better not be asking where we can rustle up a naval rifle for him.

we procrastinate more!

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>>39855413
You can't just say such things without linking
>>39855431
You sit there for a few seconds, stunned. You've heard nothing of your boat's fate for sixteen long months – rusting away somewhere in a ignored anchorage in San Diego as more seaworthy ships (damn near any of them) received priority at the US Navy's few drydocks. And now – Mare Island Naval Shipyard? Shut down in '96, along with a few zillion other bases?

The news may not be good – you know that damn well. She might be a total loss. And even if she's not... you've got a new job, now.
>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466

>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the Yokosuka domain – the hell?

Do you want to leave Arizona in enemy territory for too long? What if that one Nip carrier decide to pick on our girl?

>>39855466

>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

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>>39855466
>An e-mail from Corporal Hate
Segue into
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the Yokosuka domain – the hell?

>>39855530
Then we'll need a new carrier.

>>39855466
>A new e-mail that just arrived: “Please come pick up your sailor,” from the Yokosuka domain – the hell?

>>39855478
I am a sad newfag, please help me defeat the panda.

>>39855530
I think this might be a new shipigirl

>>39855431
>DDG-76
Oh hey, had we gotten anything more than the hull type before? Off to wikipedia.

>>39855577
>DDG-76
USS Higgins

>>39855530
Poor carriers. We'll have to fix or find new ones. Maybe something better than the IJN.

>>39855565
>I am a sad newfag, please help me defeat the panda.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/exhentai-easy-2/

You'll need an account with the appropriate forum. There's an extension for chrome, too.

>>39855478
>scat

Why.

>>39855565
Google.com

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>An e-mail from Corporal Hate

>>39855591
>>39855558

Anything is better than a Nip carrier. Even a Canadian carrier is better.

>>39855592
Do people really need that? I just logged into g.e-hentai once over five years ago and it has worked ever since there.

>>39855592
thank you, good sir.

>>39855573
What if it's our shipgirl? Now that she's got a resting place and all.

>>39855565
You need an e-hentai account, then download a plugin. That said, unless it's /ss/ or something, you can probably exhentai with g.e-hentai in the url and get to the gallery.

>>39855643
Then Arizona got competition.

I wonder how Hornet feels about us defending her yesterday.

>>39855623
>Do people really need that? I just logged into g.e-hentai once over five years ago and it has worked ever since there.

That would require firefox to handle cookies correctly. It... doesn't always work. Or maybe they fucked it up for a long while. I dunno.

>>39855634
No problem. There's a ton of good non-h doujins on there and half the time people link from exhentai, so it's nice to have set up.

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>>39855622
>Canadian carrier

>>39855622
>Canadian Carrier
>Literally a pycrete iceberg

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>>39855565
https://5amtranslations.wordpress.com/2015/01/05/139-c87-gokusaishiki-aya-shachou-journal-about-roving-exposure-around-the-naval-base/

>>39855679
>Sailors on deck curling on the runway while off-duty
>Sailors ON duty sweeping FOD off the runway run over to scrub the ice in front of the stones, then go back to sweeping

>>39855675
I use firefox, so dunno what you're talking about. Only time I've lost the login is when I accidentally clear all cookies. Then I just use cookie manager to remove the sadpanda cookies (because ofc I don't notice until I already got the sadpanda), relog into g.e-hentai and t works again.

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>>39855679
>planefag just uses art of Ice from sw89
>his and Ghost's faces when

>>39855678
Canada here, I'm pretty sure that, while we do have a navy, over half of our warships aren't actually seaworthy. Thus, the running joke among my friends is "Wait, we have warships?"

>>39855675
>that would require ff to handle cookies correctly

Cookie editor. Or use Chromium/Pale Moon. I can't believe people still can't get past the panda. It's the most well known secret.

>>39855719
>Cookie editor. Or use Chromium/Pale Moon.

I switched all my shit to Pale Moon a few months ago; finally got tired of firefox's shit. I didn't even need the plugin, imagine that.

>>39855678
>>39855679
As bad ass as HMCS Habbukak is, HMCS Bonnaventure was a thing.

>>39855719
Nuh uh. The koonami code is the most well-known secret.

>>39855704
Every week the runway turns into a hockey arena.

>>39855750
>I switched all my shit to Pale Moon a few months ago
My aerial homosexual.

>>39855778
Whenever they aren't launching planes, they're launching pucks.

>>39855803
A lucky penny under one of the runway and somehow the planes launching from that runway always hit American practice targets.

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You eyeball the e-mail from the local address and scowl at it. One more e-mail before you've got to go back to the lunatic asylum that is now your life. You tap on it. It proves to be a short note jotted out rather quick – you're surprised he didn't just text you. He was probably at his computer last night and didn't want to cross the room for his phone.

“Find me sometime today, I have to give you something.”

That's... ominous. Well, you still have that missing lower to hold over his head, if you really have to. On to the business at hand: you open the last e-mail.

“Admiral Settle: please stop by the base brig and pick up your charge. She's started in on the bars, and shooting her with rubber bullets just makes her angry. Please come. Please come. Please come. I need to pee and I can't leave the desk without her seeing me, and then she'll add me to her list. Please come. Please co”

… hmm. Sounds like a job for somebody with less rank thank you.

>Call Hate, send him over
>Pick her up yourself, you need all the points you can get right now
>Call Hate, have him meet you there

>>39855751
And anons keep on forgetting about HMCS Magnificent.

Yes, Canada used to run two carriers at once. Surprising, I know.

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there

>>39855778

You mean the Combatives Ring. The self-defense instructors carefully check everyone for stakes, sticks and pucks before training commences, but no matter what they do, halfway through the fight a hockey game breaks out.

>>39855882
>>Pick her up yourself, you need all the points you can get right now

Back to work!

>>39855882
That's our Sammy!

[x] Pick her up yourself, you need all the points you can get right now

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
This'll be fun.

>>39855882
>>Pick her up yourself, you need all the points you can get right now
yeah, it is sort of our mess to clean up. Unless it isn't Arizona, but I can't see Harder going at the bars and only being angrier at rubber bullets.

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>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
Two ship sluts with one torpedo, or I guess its the opposite in this case?

sammy smash

>>39855909
Somehow the sailors all put on gloves just to throw them off to signal the start of a fight.

Then the instructors found the best way to stop them - start wearing black and white striped shirts.

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
HAAAAAATE. GET OVER HERE. Not dealing with her alone after everything else. Plus we lack our cane to hit her with.

>>39855882
>>Pick her up yourself, you need all the points you can get right now
Did arizona just snap?

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
>bring the Corgies
Sometimes what's needed to bring a soldier under control is a good beating.

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there

Ask him to bring the corgis. Just in case.

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
>Sammy is a marine who's literally navy
hhehehe

>>39855965
yes

>>39855956
No, that sounds more like Sammy.

>>39855882
>Call Hate, have him meet you there
Demonstrate leadership and efficient management at the same time!

>>39855956
>>39855936
I think it is our destroyer who thinks she is a battleship. She is right. She is better than a battleship.

>>39855936
>>39855956
>Forgetting about Sammy B.
>Ever

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Back to the grind.

vote called, etc. post kongou

>>39855994
>Destroyer Escort
FTFY

>>39855994
>>39856001
> Implying Sammy B would ever be caught when Kongou is otherwise busy.

>>39855978
>Sammy is a marine who's literally navy

I am not a Navy man. Please explain that.

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>>39856010

sammy beat kongo before

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>>39856010

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>>39856010
Aye aye.

Fucking captcha.

>>39856030
Oh good point. Should we pick Kongou up to calm Sammy down? We know exactly where she is.

>>39856014
Even better of a girl.

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>>39856001
how can one forget her? She's more a force of nature than planefag's writing.

>>39856010
Crap too late. I'll post Souryuu instead

>>39855316
At least until they get drunk and wake up in bed together.

With a black guy.

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>>39856010
>post kongou

>>39855882
>>Call Hate, have him meet you there

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>>39856010

>>39855517
Ooyodo runs around, pees somewhere and then poops after running around naked.

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>post kongou

>>39856097
I wonder which US ship, based on their serving history, can be considered yandere or crazy.

>>39856126
Kek

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>>39856010
OK.

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>>39856010

>>39856145
why we need a real BB to show up.

>>39856145
>Kongou
>Scottish flag
wat

>>39856160
I laughed way more than I should have.

>>39856185
Like North Carolina.

Can't go wrong with Kongou or her sisters (though Hiei's curry can melt steel beams)

>>39856185
Isn't Arizona one?

>>39855882
>I need to pee and I can't leave the desk without her seeing me
lewd

>Call Hate, have him meet you there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRnclastqkA

>>39856211
not very many options to choose from.
would lol if texas

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>>39856010

>>39856230
I only see belt armorin this.

>>39856211

Like she'd leave that fucking state anyway. Be fucking like, duty calls! and she'd be like, nah. nahhhh. Buncha lazyasses there, I swear to fuck if i end back up at Lejune I'm going to blow my fucking brains out.

>>39856227
a non ship slut like
USS missouri

>>39856097
[x] Do tea bodyshots from Kongou's belt armor

Threadly dose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvN32kGMe_U

>>39856234
Top kek

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>>39856260
Hey Cpl. Hate, I upgraded a couple of your corgis. You like them?

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>>39855711
I don't get it.

How is Ice a carrier?

CV-12 shows up and double teams Kaga with CV-8

>>39856108
No Kongou! That is not where you put semen! Bad!

>>39856132
USS Archerfish has a strange tendency to spawn goats

>>39856343

She stores Frank's aircraft inside her.

>>39856260
Lie and slander.
When duty calls, North Carolina will answer.

And probably bring boat loads of barbecue with her.

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>>39856324

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>>39856348
too late

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>>39856010
The opening line in the Japanese dub is "Dr. Paval, CIA dess."
No, I am not making this up.

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>>39856383
>Frank's aircraft inside her

>>39856383
My sides have just entered geo-synchranous orbit.

You're halfway to the brig when you belatedly remember that you gave one of your wee boats a personal escort – her own flotilla. Retrieving your phone, you dial up Hate. It doesn't finish the first ring before he picks up.

“Ayo, Skipper.”

He's always fast on that – he must have a custom ringtone; he doesn't take time to read the screen. “Hey. Can you meet me at the brig? I might require your unique skills.”

“That kind of thing is better done at night.”

“Just a light asskicking. No need to dispose of bodies.”

“Oh, in that case, I'll be right along.” He hangs up.

The Yokosuka Naval Base has a decent-sized brig; it houses miscreants from every visiting ship of both navies as well as the various servicemen who had a little too much fun in town and walked counter-clockwise around a shinto shrine or something. According to them, at least – it's always the Japanese being Very Unreasonable And Quite Stuck-Up, imposing on the virtuous sailors who Defend Their Freedoms from the Chinese Scourge. A tale as old as time, a lie as old as rhyme, etc. You enter the small lobby/processing area, where a bored-looking desk clerk points you to the rear hall without a word. You stroll back towards the rear, where there's a little booth with cameras and a phone – a monitoring station for a hallway worth of small, clean cells. You find your e-mailer cowering in it, the keyboard in his hands, peeking up at the LCD screen above him.

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Also waiting for Yandere Burke to show up.

>>39856530

“... hello?”

The man twirls in a circle, presses his finger to his lip and frantically signals for silence.

“AAAAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA,” comes Sammy's familiar bright voice down the hallway. “AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Skipper?”

You turn to find Hate behind you. “Good timing.”

Another mad skirling whirl of laughter comes jangling down the hall. “Oh.” He looks down at the terrified-looking MP. “When did she stop swearing and just start laughing?”

“About five m-minutes ago,” he says, his eyes popping out of his head.

From down the hall comes the unmistakable sound of hardened steel groaning as it's bent.

“And... you didn't just go in there and hose her down or something?”

“Oh fuck no,” the MP says. “I SAW that movie. We got nothing to shoot her with. Besides, the damn dogs hold you off before you get close enough!”

Hate seems to be hovering between an “I told you so and this all your fault,” and “god dammit, I have to do something again.” He settles for asking the MP a question: “You can open the cells electronically, right?”

He nods.

“Cool. Pop the one directly across from hers. Do you have to close them electrically, too?”

“Just roll it shut and it'll latch.”

“Good.” Hate takes point, leading you down the hall. True to form, you're not halfway down the narrow hall before Sammy's quintet of escorts come barreling towards you, barking like mad and farting little phoot phoot phoots – she must've fed them french fries. Again. They see Hate and come skidding to a halt, their little tails wagging like mad as they plop on their rumps and watch him attentively.

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>>39856554

“Their vision,” Harder says quietly. From his back pocket he slowly removes his hand with a flourish – revealing a small red super ball. He slowly waves it left, then right, watching as the Corgis track the motion intently.

“Is based on movement,” he finishes, and flicks it expertly. The Corgis explode into motion; an outlashing of furry fury; dogs ricocheting off bars and floor as they trip and soar and dive around each other in pursuit of the madly rebounding ball. They chase it down the hall, skidding into an expert drift as they round the last corner and surround the elusive prey in the open cell. Hate dashes forward and slams the bars closed on them, but they're too occupied with their new toy to care.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA!”

You and Hate exchange a Glance, and then slowly turn to look at Sammy. She's made decent progress on the bars; another hour and she'll be able to make an opening wide enough to squeeze herself through.

Hate crosses his arms and moods at you – he's done his part. This one's up to you.

>Write-in!

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>>39856513
>dat Hiei Pepperoni
>dat Mako Kirishima
Hhhhhhhnnnnggggg.

>>39856590
"Sammy."

"What the fuck?"

sammy
>yammato had it coming

>>39856590
>Harder
Don't you mean Hate? Or is our favorite jarhead now a confused sub?

>Write in
Sammy, how did they even catch you?

>>39856590
>"Ground Control to Major Tom: Your head is fucked, there's something wrong. Better cool your engines fast before I spray them down with liquid nitrogen."

>>39856590
Oookay, so how do we beat some sense into an anti-battleship destroyer escort?

>Fire our sidearm to the ceiling and start yelling

>>39856590
"The hell are you doing in there?"

>>39856590
"Wait, how the hell did they get you in there?"

>>39856590
"Sammy."

"What did you do this time?"

>>39856590
"What the hell did you do this time?"

>>39856682
sammy fought and sorta won before so it would be intesting

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>>39856636
I think this sums the situation up perfectly. Let's save our witty comebacks for the niponese battlesluts.

>>39856652
>Don't you mean Hate? Or is our favorite jarhead now a confused sub?

oops

fuk

>>39856682
Goddamnit stupid automatic posting.

>>39856590
>What exactly are you trying to accomplish here.

>>39856722
So far most ships seem to have a degree of respect/fear to the one that sinks them.

Plus, Kongou's got the right personality type.

>>39856756
actually this could work. sombody post the u wot m8 kongo.
take the energy out of both

>Fire gun into ceiling while yelling

writin

>>39856837
>"If I reinforce that door, will you die?"

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>>39855882
>I need to pee and I can't leave the desk without her seeing me, and then she'll add me to her list.

>>39856864
I wonder what does Sammy do to people on her list?

>>39856513
Pretty nice.

Though I figure Yukari would be closer to Kongou than Saori.

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>>39856590
open the cell and deliver headpats.
fuk dem japs. our little angel dindu nuffin.

>>39856590
>"This is bullshit, you can't ground Sammy B!"

>>39856804
That works in every quest

>>39856257
Did they hang her then have her stuffed?

>>39856901
That and the rape whistle.

>>39856590
"Should we open the door, or do you want to work on the bars a little more?"

>>39856383
I am reading the account from that story and I could not stop laughing.

>>39856971
Do tell?

>>39856951
None of the other quests I follow have rape whistles, and I doubt it would work in some. More likely it would just attract someone who would want to be next.

>>39857018
http://www.ussarcherfish.com/afishpic/goat.htm

It sounds like a real interview with the crew about exactly how a goat and rooster made it onto the ship and into the crew.

>>39856885
They get put in a well.

>>39856590
"Movement-based vision. Like a T-Rex."

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>>39856955
>"Should we open the door, or do you want to work on the bars a little more?"
Going with this.

>>39857062
>>39857018
Even better, it was a goat and a cock on a sub.

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You scratch your head and stare at Sammy, who's now saving her breath for another session of bar-bending; her little hands wrapped around the steel bar that's slowly yielding to her inhuman wrath. You need to get through to her somehow.

“Sammy... how did they even freaking catch you?”

It works. You see her eyes slowly come into focus. “Cheating. Cheating! They ganged up on me!”

“How many?”

“How many shit-kicking MPs does this shithole have?” she asks you.

You open your mouth-

“BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO REDUCE THAT NUMBER BY ONE!” she snarls, and from down the hall there's a clatter of plastic on linoleum as the poor MP's finally breaks, sending him fleeing for safety.

“So... what did they even do?”

“They were waiting for me,” she snarls. “They set a trap. I don't know how they knew... but they knew.” She glowers, her brow furrowing as the bar bends in her hands a little further with a long, alarming creak of tortured metal. “I was running radio silent. It must've been a spy. A filthy Jap spy. There were like a jillion of them!”

“Did they taser you?”

“What's that?”

“Uh, what did they use-”

“These stupid-looking clear shields,” she grumps. “They circled around and fucking ni-”

“Oooooh,” you say politely, cutting that one off early. “Try not to use that term.”

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>>39857201

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to call it when twenty zillin douchenozzle dillhole fuckwanks-”

“Yooooo!” you say in alarm – the girl must be hell-on-wheels at sea scrabble. “Nobody likes MPs, but is that really necessary?”

“MARINE MPs,” she damn near spits, and from the look on Hate's face, he shares the sentiment. Navy MPs are simply dildroids; the same problem in the same uniform with a different hat and a little stick, but Marine MPs are traitors. “So yeah, what you you WANT me to call it when those shitbirds form Mount Asshole with me on the goddamn bottom?”

The word rolls off your tongue without hesitation. “A dogpile.”

You duck just before Hate's hand makes contact with your uniform hat, trying not to snigger. He gives you a glum look that tells you that shit really wasn't necessary. You don't care. With a nod at the control station, you send Hate off to open Sammy's door, while you stand ready to intercept her.

“So, did you get that out of your system? Clear your sinuses?” you ask Sammy as the door opens with a long BRRRR! Or tries to; her efforts ensure it jams half-way open. She skips out and is waiting when Hate opens the cell opposite; her little flotilla of corgis leaping to her side to swirl around her feet in a nonstop floor-halo of doggy joy. Sammy looks down on her minions imperiously, then pouts up at you.

“I'm hungry.”

>To the officer's mess!
>Screw base food and screw that place, I think it's cursed with shipsluts. Lets go somewhere off-base for a change.
>Other?

>>39857224

I just thought of a filename for that picture.

>A HAT TO SURPASS KEINE-GEAR

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>>Screw base food and screw that place, I think it's cursed with shipsluts. Lets go somewhere off-base for a change.

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>>Screw base food and screw that place, I think it's cursed with shipsluts. Lets go somewhere off-base for a change.

>>39857224
>Other?
>Order some motherfucking dominoes pizza

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!
we don't want to expose the public to her. ever.

>>39857224
How bad is marine MPs? How are they different?

>>39857224
>Other?

What the fuck did you actually do?

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>>Screw base food and screw that place, I think it's cursed with shipsluts. Lets go somewhere off-base for a change.

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!

Sammy is indeed the best. That is all.

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

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>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

>>39857224
>office mess

>To the officer's mess!

>>39857299
Chased down and ripped apart all the Nip battleships and cruisers.

>>39857299
I've seen Marines and I've seen army MPs. Marines tend to be the most dangerous game, we need more enemies fuckers (not critizing them, the jihadists need murdering), and I just do my best to avoid the army MPs while they unleash their wrath on some cantankiours private.

Put the two together.

>>39857285
With Meeeku

>>39857404
How bad is the airforce MPs?

And if you are an officer do you still have to suffer under the MPs? Or are there better ones for higher ranks?

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>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!
We're bringing a psychopathic dwarf shipslut into a mess where her eternal enemies lie.

What could possibly go wrong?

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!
Easier to contain

>>39857224
>To the officer's mess!

Poor MP's get such a bad rap.

>>39857224
Why does that picture exist?

>>39857296
>How bad is marine MPs? How are they different?

MPs from your own service are always the worst, because they're the evil unfair unfun guys who punish the members of the Master Service (i.e. yours.)

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>>39857224
>all signs point to burger
>or anything that isn't fish, rice and salty pisswater

>>39857430
Well the airforce gets to keep their hands in their pockets.

This is a bigger deal than you think.

>>39857469

I have no idea. It makes Shoukaku's "what" even funnier.

>>39857433
The sooner they learn that Sammy is not to be messed with the better.

>>39857224
I love Sammy. She is a right proper warship.

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Encounters with post-dessed Kongou in the mess room?

Yes please.

>>39857493
...You aren't allowed to put your hands in your pockets in other services?

The fuck are you supposed to do with them then?

>>39857493
For hiding contraband in your pocket?

>>39857224
>>To the officer's mess!

Let's see who we run into this time (gonna be miffed if it's Kaga again)

>>39857522
She'd endear herself better if she went about decking shipgirls that really have it coming, not ones that don't.

>>39857532
HIPSTER

>>39857532
Is Kongo ever post-dess?

>>39857553
I liked Kongou before KanColle existed.

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>>39857536
>...You aren't allowed to put your hands in your pockets in other services?

The Marines are a service that actually fight. Hands in your pockets are hands not ready for KILLING.

You think a Marine can't kill with his hands? You've never seen what a knife-hand can do to a block of concrete, eh? Oh sure, you've seen karate chops and shit, but last time they had a chop-off, guess who won? Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

>>39857553
When do we help her and the innocent Nip ship girls make up?

How do we direct Sammy at that one carrier?

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>>39857532
We've had plenty of Kongou.

We should have a Haruna encounter instead.

>>39857538
Nah, try standing outside for hours at a time while the wind is blowing waves on the river current of what used to be a sidewalk.

The gloves do nothing.

>>39857224
So when will Sammy get the asskicking she sorely deserves?

>>39857573
Why did I laugh at that.

>>39857224
>Screw base food and screw that place, I think it's cursed with shipsluts. Lets go somewhere off-base for a change.

While we're out, let's be complete and utter dumbasses and see if ships can hold their liquor.
If the crews are anything to go by, I expect our WWII-era U.S. Navy ships to be somewhere in the "dorf" region on the alcohol tolerance scale.

>>39857590
Haruna is alright.

>>39857573
I feel like I shouldn't be laughing this hard at that comic when i'm not military.

>>39857580
make sammy her escort

>>39857602
>So when will Sammy get the asskicking she sorely deserves?

That would require a Japanese warship that can match her for sheer balls-out bloodthirsty insanity.

I am open to suggestions.

>>39857616
Or make Sammy Hornet's escort. She will defend her big sister.

>>39857610
>I expect our WWII-era U.S. Navy ships to be somewhere in the "dorf" region on the alcohol tolerance scale.
They already have dorf sanity and social skills.

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>>39857612
Yes!

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>>39857624
did it before, do it again

>>39857624
Plz japan is all about soft strength and all that shit. I didn't mean a literal asskicking anyways.

I've said it a dozen times: Take her to Kongou.

>>39857593
Oh.

I see.

I only hear stories from medic friends who are not doing this as much.

Clueless anon here - do doctors, nurses, and medics belong to army/navy/air force or are they shared between all three?

>>39857624
Poi?

>>39857624
Hornet saves Kaga from sammy, by fucking her up
Zuikaku?

>>39857624
What about that one that torpedo'd two of their own ships?

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>>39857624

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>>39857624
Yuudachi