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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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Peasant Mecha Commander is back!
----------------

A day has passed since you rather easily managed to persuade the inhabitants of Bok to move their town to the top of your newly-found giant golem. Thankfully, you managed to tell them about the cargo elevators before they started to scale the thing's leg and side to reach the top. The scary thing is, you're pretty sure they might have made it. Stranger things have happened in Bok. As it is, they've been stockpiling their goods and non-wood building materials at the base of your machine and lifting them inside as fast as the elevators will allow. Currently, they're taking up 50 out of the 100 crew spaces inside the Golem; once the village has been relocated, they will hopefully vacate those spaces, freeing them up for... Well, who knows?

You haven't managed to catch a glimpse of Catherine, The baker's daughter, yet (Not for wont of trying...), but you're sure she's on board somewhere.

You slept in your cabin last night. It was the most comfortable sleep you've ever had.


[1/2; cutscene, no suggestions yet please]
>>
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>>39467215
[2/2]

"NOOWE, FUERST THINGS FUERST, LADDIE: WHY THE FOOKIN' ELL ARE YEH DRESSED LIKE SOME SORT O' QUEER PROSTITUET'?!"

Old Man Jenkins. Ex-Adventurer, Baker, de-facto town chief and chronic capslocker.

He 'requested' a meeting with you this morning (shouted at HAL until he woke you up and sent you here, to the 'central conference chamber') without bothering to say why. You still have no idea what he wanted to talk about.

And now, he's insulting your new clothes. How are you going to respond to this?
>>
>>39467551
"THIS IS LIKE WHAT ALL THE FOOKIN NOBLES WEAR JENKINS YOU CRUSTY OLD SHITE JUST BECAUSE YOU AIN'T WORN ANYTHING OTHER THAN Y'EMPTY FLOUR BAGS DON'T MAKE IT QUEER AND IF YOU HATE THE UNIFORM SO MUCH Y'CAN GO BACK TO Y'SHITEY BROWN CLOTHES"
>>
>>39467551
>Old Man Jenkins
>Baker

>Catherine
>Baker's Daughter

Peasant... really?
-----

Well, its part of the uniform for controlling the robot, like the town guard needs those stupid badges of office with turkeys on them.
>>
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>>39467551

"THIS IS PART O' THA FOOKIN' UNIFORM for controlling the robot. It's like the town guard neding those stupid badges of office with turkeys on them. Just 'cause it's something other than old flour bags doesn't make it queer, ya fuck.

Somehow, you managed to rein yourself in during that semi-rant.

"AH SUPPOSE THAT MAKES SENSE. WELL, THEN, LADDIE, I JUST WANTED TEH MAKES SOME THINGS ABOOT THE STATION OF OOR TOWNSPEOPLE CLEER, ROIGHT?

FIRST: YOU AIN'T OUR KING. IF WE DON' LIKE IT HERE, WE SCRAM.

SECOND: I AGREED TO PUTTIN' OOR TOWNE UP HERE BECAUSE IT'LL REVITALISE OOR ECONOMY, GET US OUTTA THAT ASS-END O' THA WORLD, AN' LET US KILL ELVES. IF IT LOOKS LIKE THESE THINGS AREN'T GOIN' TA HAPPEN, WE PULL OUT. YOU GOT THAT?

AND LAST: WHAT DO YEH PLAN ON DOIN' NEXT WITH THIS THING?"
>>
>>39467551
Im the commander, i wear the commander uniform. And guess what? You do as the commander tells you to, so shut up and give me an update
>>
>>39467755
We walk our ways to the nearest city. Stomp any Elves on the way. Sell goods. Buy goods. Repeat process until I get a better idea!
>>
Yow, what did I miss last time? How did we get the bakers daughter on board?
does this mean we are officially straight now?
>>
>>39467755
quick don't let him know there's no way for the fishermen to fish from up ontop of the golem
>>
I say we go towards any nearby towns, and just gloat...

"OOOH HAAAAAAY, where is your magical golem? Oh that's right, you don't HAVE A MAGICAL GOLEM!"

...aah, the satisfaction would be marvelous.
>>
>>39467755
We gotta sort out engineers and stuff i think
>>
>>39467755
We need fooking faggy mage shit to make shit here so we can sell it and buy for it more shit.
>>
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>>39467893
>Fishermen

Oh, cripes. 7 of the town's 50 inhabitants are fishermen. They'll be utterly useless, most likely.


"Er... We, we walk our ways to the nearest city, s-stomp and elves we find on our way, buy fis- goods, sell goods, repeat fish- I mean, process until I get a better idea! And on the subject of rule, I wear the commander uniform. I command. You don't like that, you can get out. Now, we need... 'Ennie-jears' to keep this thing working-"

>Engineers.<

"-Engineers. Anyway, for now, we head to the nearest town and gloat about our golem. Now, you got any updates?"

Jenkins doesn't look happy, but he complies.

"WE'VE LIFTED OOP THA LAST O' THA GOODS. WE 'AVE ENUFF FOOD FOR 2 WEEKS FOR ALL O' US, PLENTY O' THAT FAKE WOOD YOU GOT, FIGHTIN' GEAR FER 10 MEN, AN' A BUNCH O' TOOLS AN' CLOTHES. ALL TOGETHER, WE'VE GOT 400 GOLD COINS, ENUFF' FER 10 WEEKS O' FOOD, A SMALL MERCENARY BAND... O' COURSE, THE REAL PURCHASIN' POWER O' THA GOLD WILL REMAIN TAH BE SEEN. INFLATION AN' ALL. WE'RE JUST ABOOT TAH START BUILDIN' BOK 2.0 UP TOPSIDE."
>>
>>39468084
Also, dont try to think about how useless woodsman now, without forest and all
>>
>>39468084
Gather the townsfolk and give a great speech about leadership and stuff. You are a leader, leaders give speeches, right?
(Are the last threads achieved?)
>>
>>39468084
Tell Jenkins to carry on and use a little of our free time to think about baker's daughter buns. Big, warm round buns...
>>39468259
Yes, archived
>>
>>39468084
Yeah you guys do that, build the town and all that jazz.

Think about anything but the miners because no ore on the Golem's back.
>>
>>39468292
Archived, yes yes... I was only pretending to be retarded!
Anyway, got a link?
>>
>>39468316
>>39468200
Calm yourself with a little dream world where only you, baker's daughter, and big buns
>>
>>39468327
its, like, 3 seconds in suptg, man
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39438531/
>>
>>39468332
Good, so we're not bi-curious anymore...

>>39468353
I know I'm a lazy bum, thanks anyway
>>
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>>39468084
You ask Jenkins to gather the townsfolk so you can give a rousing speech.

"WELL, YEH CAN FOOKIN' TRY. WE'LL BE UP TOP IN A FEW MINUTES. DON' KEEP US WAITIN'."

He finally leaves the conference room.

[1/2]
>>
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>>39467215
>>39467551
I made an intro for you.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kyEWtyUuSC
>>
>>39468437
Sounds pretty darn epic, great stuff!
was hoping for a themesong though
>>
>>39468491
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzHqXzcuWuE

'AYE 'EVE AN HYMM SONG U SOGGIN' SQUINT OYE
>>
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>>39468404
The day hasn't even properly started, and you're exhausted. You slump to the table, and spend a few precious seconds in a paradise of freshly-baked loaves... Being presented to you by a naked Baker's daughter. Mmm. Tasty-

>Commander.<

Oh, fucking goddamnit HAL.

>With the help of Ensign Jenkins, I have compiled a map of the surrounding area, with the locations of nearby towns, cities, and landmarks. You you care to examine it before your speech?<

>>39468437
(...You're freaking magnificent, really well done. Thank you, so much- this kind of spontaneous creative genius is why I come to shitholes like 4chan. Every now and again, something wonderful happens. You sound like a radio show host; Jenkin's voice is spot-on as I imagined it.)
>>
>>39468552
Can we promote Jenkins to an official position? Like he knows a lot of shit, maybe Quartermaster. That might keep him happier and a bit less douchy,

And yeah examine the shit out of that
>>
>>39468610
I agree. Let's give that speech now, it seems like a good way to promote Jenkins
>>
>>39468645
So...from de facto chief of our backwater podunk village he became de-jure chief of our backwater podunk village on top of the golem?
>>
>>39468552
I am glad you enjoyed it. If you want to write a more generic catch all intro for your future threads I got all afternoon on my hands.

Take a glance at the map and head towards the nearest town. Lay out some basic rules and understandings for the people of Bok. Seems unwise to try and come out as a dominating evil fuck but make it clear this is your golem and they reside on it at your leisure. If everyone can work together though it can become EVERYONE'S golem. Propelling, literally, Bok into the annals of great cities.
>>
>>39468610
promote him into "That guy who in charge of our supplies and stuff making". And ask AI how this title called on his magick gibberish long words.
>>
>>39468720
You sound like you should be on radio and/or have expressive eyebrows.
>>
>>39468794
Nah, this makes us looks like a douche. Try for first time a live audition.
>>
>>39468850
I mean I thought you were this guy >>39468437
>>
>>39468900
Oh. I thought this >>39468794 as part of our suggestion. Never mind.
And I liked that voice intro, honestly.
>>
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>>39468552
>As you can see, most of civilisation lies to the North. This map shows the southern border of the Arranian Kingdom's expansion. Ehlenheim is apparently a major city: I suggest we search for scholars there. This 'Settler's Peak's Ruins' seems to be the centre of many folk myths and ghost stories, being an ancient relic of a bygone time. I estimate that there is nothing of value there, and that we should bypass it, heading for Ehlenheim via Riverside.

The Human-Elven border is far to the Northwest.<
>>
>>39469024
NNNNOPE!
First we go into spooky and ghostly ruins then into big city.
Cause reasons
>>
>>39469024
>Go the the ruins
I don't believe in no ghosts!
>>
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>>39468720
I think I'll take you up on that offer- thanks! I'll just write something up, then give it to you for review, if that's okay.
>>
>>39469024
I ain't afraid of no Ghosts.
>>
>>39469054
...do we?
I mean, ghosts is a-okay, but if this ruins got SKELETONS, then nopenopenopenopenopefuckit we going into city.
>>
>>39469024
TO THE RUINS
Theres bound to be aether in plenty there
Unless its mega high risk in which case not yet
>>
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>>39469024
"I ain't afraid o' no ghosts, don't believe in 'em, either. We go to the spooky ruins, THEN the big city. Get that?"

>...Affirmative, commander. Please consider visiting Riverside or Hope first, in order to stock up on supplies and possibly hire mercenaries.

...Commander, you had best go topside. It is time for your speech.<
>>
>>39469024
Scholars? Like wizards? Fuck that man.
>>39469088
Forget skeletons, have you forgotten about the dick fairies?
>>
>>39469109
Wait. They gonna listen us, right? Okay, try to fuck this up, and try not to mention HOW USELESS FISHERMEN NOW ON ATOP GIANT GOLEM
>>
>>39469126
Ah, yes. The Dick Fairies. Only true scourge of every man and every manhood in this world. Nothing cannot escape their grubby fairy hands.
>>
>>39469109
"Greetings people of Bok! It is I Peasant, but you guys know that .... uhh... lets see gosh, I'm bad at this. We now live on my back! I mean my golem's back that I found! And now you are all going to help me as we go around and... uhh... do stuff. Yay!"
>>
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>>39469088
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6-ZGAGcJrk
>dead titans in the ruin
>animated skeleton's the size of our golem
>>
>>39469158
>Okay, try to fuck this up
No, try not to fuck this up! Try to look heroic and such!
Also, make sure the bakers daughter sees us and think we're totally awesome
>>
>>39469109
Make sure our pants will not fall out in the middle of our speech. It would be embarrassing and totally uncool.
>>
>>39469109
"Sup folks! I'mma commander o' this 'ere Golem. Gonna put Bok on tha' map; all over tha map!

Then something something something plan, something Elf smashing, something get rich.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>39469289
rolling to not lose pants
>>
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>>39469340
Safe to say you succeeded.
>>
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>>39468720
Here you go. Tell me if it's too cringeworthy; feel free to deviate from the script if you like, of course.

[Inspirational/Action music of your choice here. I suggest something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p5OyLFQLCc , but the choice is yours.]

The peasant was just another small-time background character: whiling away his days eating potatoes, farming potatoes, and doing odd jobs around town like mixing fake magic potions and repairing potato-powered mechanical contraption. At first, it seemed like that fateful day would be like any other- gathering dicknettle leaves and feeling miserable and unfulfilled. Little did the Peasant know his life was about to change... FOREVER!!!11 [extra ham]

An tumble into a hole in the ground revealed to our protagonist the true nature of the local Hillside: A colossal, ancient, magitech-powered combat golem built for the specific purpose of destroying elves.

Now, the Peasant is no mere Peasant anymore. With his loyal crew and the hardy town atop the lumbering Golem's back, he travels the world, spreading JUSTICE, FREEDOM, and UNGODLY DESTRUCTION (the latter /mostly/ to elves.)

To boldly Stomp (Elves) where no Mech has stomped before, these records chronicle are the adventures... of PEASANT MECHA COMMANDER.


After climbing stairs and shafts, you reach an access door to Topside. Before stepping out into the blinding morning sunlight, you take a moment to check your belt's tight. It wouldn't do to look scruffy now, would it!

You take a deep breath, and think over what you're about to say once more. DO NOT SPEAK OF THE FISHERMEN, or the miners, or the loggers. Make it clear you're in charge. Announce Jenkins as head stuff-person. Yeah. Sounds about right. Let's do this. What could possibly go wrong?
>>
>>39469459
The important thing is not to spaghet all over everybody.

Even if Catherine's there.

Especially if Catherine's there.

Don't you dare fuck this up, Peasant.
>>
>>39469459
(Allow me to take this opportunity to reflect on what 'lol' truly meant before people started spamming it everywhere. And then apply it to me during this quest.)
>>
>>39469551
Do the opposite of fucking it up!

Be super fly. Catherine will notice you then.
Maybe she'll let us see... her... again.
>>
>>39469459
Okay, deep breath Peasant.
Don't flip our shit. Stay cool, stay cool. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.
Panic anyway because we never did speak a rousing speeches, it was a Jenkins job
>>
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>>39469459
>>39469570
(Thanks!)

Stepping out, you remark that the townsfolk sure haven't mucked around. They've already brought Notwood up, and you think you spy some (somewhat crooked) huts that have been put up. Did these people even sleep? You suppose fishermen might have some use after all.

You spot Old man Jenkins waiting for you down to the right. And next to him-
>>
>>39469658
is it h-her?
>>
>>39469822
Nnope. This gonna be that faggy merchant's son
he does looks handsome, I say
>>
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>>39469459
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1tEpOBYwHxv

http://picosong.com/XCHA/

The pico link is slightly better quality but I know many don't like to click on those. Still it gives you the raw audio file if you want to download it incase the quest runs longer then the vocaroo link expiration date.
>>
>>39469851
fuck him, he's a dick fairy
>>
>>39469906
That's awesome anon ! Love how well it goes with the Gurren Lagann music.
>>
>>39469906
Please consider vocalizing the entire series. I know you probably have lives and stuff to do, but if you are looking for a fun side project, I think this would make a fun podcast.
>>
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>>39469906
Glorious. I'll be sure to link it at the start of every thread. Not that we HAVE a loyal crew or a town yet, but I'm sure it'll become relevant eventually! Oh, and also: I can't draw feet. Or ankles. Or women. So this'll be fun.

It's.. It's...
>>
>>39470039
Our mom? A dick fairy? I don't know and it's killing me!
>>
>>39470039
feet are hard to draw man. Some say hands are the hardest to draw, but they underestimate feet.
>>
>>39470076
That is why you adopt a style that simplifies them onto basic little ends with few lines to represent knuckles or have them constantly holding something. Sword, shield, tome, ect.
>>
>>39470039
>>39470076
>>39470105
Hands, feet, females, and motorcycles: The banes of my artistic capability.

I'm slightly disturbed she looks underage. I can't unsee it now. Oh well, good thing this is 4chan.


Catherine. For a second, everything else seems to fade away...
>>
>>39470193
>freckles
Mate her
>>
>>39470193
Focus, peasant.

FOCUS!

No spaghetti. NO SPAGHETTI!

Get to your speech, be alpha as fuck.
>>
>>39470193
Surprisingly QT. Good job OP
>>
>>39470193
>>39470225
>>39470240

"...die... LADDIE! STOP OGLIN' ME FOOKIN DAUGHTER may the seven saints bless 'er immortal soul AN' GET TEH YER' GADDAMN SPEECH! NOW!"

Dazed, you look to the side.
>>
>>39470290
Weeeeeell doone, Peasant! You didn't even begun speech and already fucked up! Great job! Now she thinks we some kind of retarded drooling pervert.
>>
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>>39470193
>>39470290
IT'S SPAGHETTI TIME
>>
>>39470379
It's fine. IT'S FINE.

We can totally save it. R-right ?
>>
>>39470400
Yes we can!
Just wipe that drool ad get on with it!
>>
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>>39470290
Ah. Not for the first time, you curse Jenkin's abnormally loud voice.

What is your opening line?
>>
>>39470474
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!
Oh crap.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>39470493
Roll for not this?
>>
>>39470290
Dazed, reeling about to sperg.
>>
>>39470474
KICK SERFDOM TO THE CURB AND KICK OFF WITH ELF SQUASHING SPIRIT!

ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBELF!

OURS IS THE VILLAGE THAT HAS PIERCED THE HEAVENS!
>>
>>39470474
I LOOK AT HER ONLY AS I LOOK AT EVERY CITIZEN OF BOK

AN IMPORTANT COG IN THE MACHINE OF OUR NEW GRAND CITY

FROM THE LOGGERS TO THE MERCHANTS TO THE FISHERMEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IS NOW PART OF SOMETHING GREATER!
>>
>>39470474
>Villagers of Bok. This Golem's gonna stomp some pointy eared shits.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>39470519
We're so boned.
>>
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>>39470474
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish."
>>
>>39470545
Especially the fishermen.
>>
>>39470578
awh fuck
>>
>>39470578
Jup. There goes our respect, dignity and every chance of ever catching a glimpse of Catherines buns again.
>>
>>39470519
Anon

Anon this is all your fault
This is all your fault anon
>>
>>39470578
Oh, Peasant.

I'm going to give you some background, here. I'm a pretty miserable fuck. Always have been. Just a fact. Slow to smile, slow to laugh, and jaded from years of 4chan.

That one post has cracked me up so badly i'm having trouble breathing.
>>
>>39470613
'tis all in the hands of the dice gods. For I am but a humble pawn in their cruel hands.
>>
>>39470578
Oh wow, dude. Just, WOW.
You really retarded, aren't you?
Anyway, now to fix this. We need say something cool and common about fish and our village. Like, we going upward into greatness.
DONT MENTION ABOUT USELESSNESS OUR FISHERMEN.
>>
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>>39470578
They're not terribly impressed.

This is a familiar scene. It's played out many times before, back on the ground. You were never the best-spoken, or wittiest guy around. Every time you tried to say something in the town meets, you were politely ignored or laughed at. You could never properly socialise with people, let alone girls. And now, nothing has changed. Nothing has improved. Nothing will ever change, ever improve. You'll only ever be a lonely, helpless, pathetic peasant doomed to live a life of mediocrity until your inevitable-
>>
>>39470578
Tactical retreat seems to be the most reasonable choice.
>>
>>39470578
>>39470647
"Fish are like elves! They swim upstream and think they're so great and all... But then a bear comes along and claws those fuckers out of the water! From this day forth, we are the bears!"
>>
>>39470578
Fuck.

>>39470684
>"...for too long we've been the little fish in this world. Not important. Not cared for.

Time to change that. We deserve better Bok! Lets be the big fish in the pond!

Lets stop us some pointy-eared shits."
>>
Can't we just make the fisher men fisher's of birds instead?

There has to be a shit load of large predator birds at this height that literally don't know the concept of danger.

Bait the hooks with some pieces of meat and attach some small wind sails to the lure and let them hang out in the sky, propped up by the high altitude wind shears and the golem's movement.

THE FISH ARE BELOW OUR STATUS

WE HUNT THE SKIES THEMSELVES NOW
>>
>>39470685
No retreat! We stay strong!
>>
>>39470578
Fiiiiiiishermen, Bakers, People of the Town of Bok. You all know why we're here, we have to work together to stomp those elves.
>>
>>39470701
That's stomp. not stop.
>>
>>39470684
STOP!

>golem
>fucking
>stops

That should get their attention
>>
>>39470716
Darn I was too late.
>>
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>>39470684
...That look.

You've never seen that look from her before. That look of... Compassion? Empathy?

No. Pity.

...

Something inside of you snaps.

Roll a d100 for legendaty speech of rage.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>39470799
Low is good, right?
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>39470799
Oh dear.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>39470799
Best of three, I hope
>>
>>39470799
>>39470811

AND I FUCKING MISSPELL IT

TYPICAL.

2 Above 50. That'll do.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>39470799
Snap!
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>39470799
>>
>>39470811
>>39470820
>>39470824
>>39470837
>>39470844
Absolutely mediocre. Great.
Do mention the bears and the fuckers and such.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>39470799
Saving the adventure right now !
>>
>>39470867
At least not critical fail. Let's start on low and mediocre then go insanely high, then opposite.
>>
>>39470474
Um, hi everyone. I'm in charge of this giant golem so um, then please listen to me cause no one else can make it work...
>>
>>39470896
Oh ok 4chan thanks for not refreshing for 20min without me noticing now I look like an idiot
>>
From now on we should refrain from rolling when unnecessary.
>>
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>>39470799
>>39470836
"Fish...

Fish...

How long has Bok been around for? Decades, now? Since before I was born. And what has it done in that time? What's been accomplished in Bok in that time? For all the hard work, all the toil, all the senseless pain, haven't we all remained just... fish?

The fish. The fish migrate to our part of the river. The Fishermen fish them. The fish leave. We eat the fish. And the cycle continues. Year in, year out, never changing, never growing, and we're dependent on it, forever. We're just like the fish. A part of the cycle. A part of the system. Dependent, meaningless, transient. That's how it's always been. A small, shitty town that'll fall off the map in a few decades time and that won't be missed by anyone. A waste of lives for all involved.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>39470942
"Why? What's the worst that could happen?"
>>
>>39470896
Maybe something along these lines.

It isn't exactly in our nature to make grand speeches and even then no one would really pay attention. We need to make the golem do something and have IT back our words. Then we make a ramen and ketchup filled fumbling speech about a brighter tomorrow and murdering pointy ears. Hopefully enough will make it through to have impact and gain an ounce of respect
>>
>>39470976
WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER!
>>
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>>39471000
Saving high rolls for ironic posts
>>
>>39470966
Yea! Get angry! GET MAD!

BREAK SOMETHING!
>>
>>39471038
NO DONT BREAK SOMETHING, WE STILL NEED PEOPLE TO FIX SHIT
>>
>>39471067
IF NOTHING IS BROKEN THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO JOBS
>>
>>39470966
Don't forget to adress the problem of elves !
>>
>>39471067
>>39471080

WE NEED TO PROVE A POINT! BREAK SOMETHING!
>>
>>39471080
>>39471125
>>39471080
THESE PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX SHIT

UNLESS ITS FISHING RODS
>>
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>>39471098
Elves are the problem.

We provide the Final solution.
>>
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>>39470966
A WASTE OF MY FUCKING LIFE! AND ALL YOURS TOO! BUT THIS IS A CHANCE! A CHANCE TO GRAB THIS MEANINGLESS FUCKING WORLD BY THE BALLS AND GET OUR REVENGE FOR OUR LOT IN LIFE! A CHANCE TO MEAN SOMETHING, TO DO SOMETHING THAT LAST BEYOND OUR OWN TINY, POINTLESS, MISERABLE LIVES! A CHANCE TO BE MORE THAN JUST A BUNCH OF FARMERS, TANNERS AND FISHERMEN, AND FUCKING MERCHANTS, SQUABBLING OVER MEANINGLESS INANE SHIT WHILE WHAT'S LEFT OF OUR LIVES IS STOLEN AWAY BY A UNIVERSE THAT HATES US TO THE CORE!

WE! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT! YOU FUCKERS DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT! I DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT LIVING FUCKING DEATH!

I'LL BE HONEST! I DON'T REALLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT MOST OF YOU! BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE MY MARK ON THE FILTH-TRODDEN WORLD, AND I'LL TAKE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO THE FUCKING SAME WITH ME!

I'M GOING TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE FROM THIS DAY ON, WHATEVER YOU LOT SAY OR THINK! I'M GOING TO DO WHAT /I/ WANT TO DO, AND IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT, THEY CAN JUST TRY AND STOP ME- STARTING WITH THIS!
>>
>>39471143
YEAH LET'S BREAK FISHING RODS! TWO PROBLEMS SOLVED!
>>
>>39471167
>[Patriotic clapping intensifies]
>>
>>39471149
Please. Don't.
>>
>>39471167
And this is how bakers' daughters panties start dropping.

Now we need a classy exit. Kick the nearest door open and stride through like a total hero.
>>
>>39471228
Fuck yeah I can hear those panties drop already!
>>
>>39471228
NO
MAKE THE GODAMN GOLEM DO SOMETHING

WE ARE RIDING A LIVING MOUNTAIN THAT ONLY LISTENS TO OUR COMMANDS

REPRESENT
THAT
SHIT
>>
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>>39471167
NO TURNING BACK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTQIogLBFBs&feature=player_detailpage#t=174
>>
>>39471293
Aw shit son, this is gonna be epic.
>>
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>>39471293
WE MAKE OUR OWN DESTINY NOW.
>>
>>39471329
Kiss her! Make your own destiny!
>>
>>39471293
Dude. Don't do anything rush, please. Don't do, please...
DO IT ANYWAY. THIS TRAIN HAVE NO BRAKES NOW
>>
>>39471329
ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE
>>
>>39471329
That may be a bit too fast.
>>
>>39471329
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

Peasant is Alpha as fuck!
>>
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>>39471293
>as the series continues Peasant's eye brows grow larger and larger to suit the appropriate level of badass he has grown

pls
>>
>>39471329
No kissing! Just dramatic stares!
the dropping of panties will continue later
>>
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>>39471329
THROW REASON (and traditional relationship progression) TO THE CURB!
>>
>>39471425
YEA! Kiss her! And then get slapped!

And possibly kicked to the curb by her father!
>>
>>39471425
This can't end well.
>>
>>39471425
Well this is unexpected. Nigga got some baggage in the crotch from throttling a mountain into moving it seems.
>>
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>>39471425
Oh boy~
>>
>>39471425
Jenkin's fist incoming on 3...2...1...
>>
>>39471448
More likely the latter.
>>
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>>39471425
...
>>
>>39471425
Don't kiss her, we'll get beat!
Also, don't move your hips to close, she might feel your boner...
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>39471425
>>39471477
ROLLING TO DODGE JENKINS
>>
>>39471477
>left most villager
Bitch is just jelly as a carnivorous cube she ain't getting any
>>
>>39471484
It's too late! We're caught up in the moment!
>>
>>39471501
You pillock.
>>
>>39471501
You're the best, I love you!
>>
>>39471501
NO ROLLIN-
>>
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>>39471501
>>39471524
NO ESCAPE

All hands...
>>
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>>39471477
Things in your immediate future might not be looking very good. But right here, right now-
>>
>>39471556
The suspense is killing me.
>>
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>>39471556
-Things are looking okay.

"WHAT DE YEH THINK YE'RE DOIN' YA FUCKWIT ARSEBORNE SHITEFACE?!"

Well, they're looking pretty good, all the same.

*murmur*Did you see that? And hear what he said? Shameful!*murmur*

Well, they're looking alright.

"So, speaking of fish... What're us fishermen gunna do, then?"

Fuck the world.

------------------

END OF THREAD 3
>>
>>39471556
Is Jenkins ever gonna take that helmet off or does he think he's an adventurer again?
>>
>>39471701
This is such a wonderful quest
>>
>>39471701
So...we stopped the Jenkins fist, right?
And what on the background?
>>
>>39471701
How did we stop it ? Was it because we were aware it was coming ?
>>
>>39471701
>>39471714

Okay! Once again, it's late here and I have school tomorrow, so I'll end the 'official' thread here. Again, thanks to all those who participated today, and special mention to VoiceOverAnon for his masterful dubbing (Assuming you're still there, is there any particular alias you want to be mentioned by when your stuff's linked in the next thread?)

Once again- it's time for any questions, critique, or whatever else, before I go to bed!

>>39471714
He's just putting the helmet back on in that panel, sorry if it's not clear. He only puts on the helmet when shit gets real.
>>39471737
Thank you!
>>39471761
What? No, there's a metric fucktonne of Anger moving towards our face in the shape of a fist right now. Basically, the rolls for RAGERANT were acceptable, but not great or even good- so our rant and actions have been a double edged-sword. People don't see us as a cowardly wimp anymore... But there's no saying what they DO see us as.

Oh, and our face is going to hurt in the morning.
>>
>>39471806
We didn't stop it, time just stretched a little for comedic effect. The punch happens off-screen, for all intents and purposes, and the next thread will probably skip the rest of the day or so, to when the golem starts to move.

We certainly 'broke' something.
>>
>>39471865
Ok. Thought we did because I didn't unterstand what the last picture was representing.
>>
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>>39471927
Whoops. I guess that's the problem with spontaneous/quickly drawn stuff, the quality gets degraded. I'll have to work on that in future. Anyway, if nobody else has any questions or comments, I'll go ahead and sign off for the night. Cheerio, and thanks for all your participation!
>>
>>39471819
>alias
I'm an anon. That is enough. Thanks for thread look forward to the next one.
>>
Dammit,missed
>>
>>39467215
Archived
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Peasant%20Mecha%20Commander%20Quest
Remember to upvote
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>39471819
Face might hurt
But we got Alpha Commander powers now
>>
>miss entire thread
God dammit. I hate having work during these threads. Fucking amazing shit going down.

Also, voicefag, I doubt you'll see this, but you sound surprisingly like me, but way better and you did the opening fucking fantastically.



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