>Episode 1
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38853924/
>Episode 2
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38878461/
>Episode 3
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39034579/

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>"Well now!"
Oblyx, the High Prince and coordinator of the tournament, cries out.
>"Round 1 seemed to start off even better than last year! What say we keep this thing going?"

The crowd cheers and hollers!

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You hear all of this from the shadows of the gate opening up to reveal the arena!

>"Let's bring on out our surprise contender!"
Oblyx says.
The crowd goes wild as you step into the light!

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The crowd cheers and screams in their eagerness!
A nervous knight walks beside you onto the arena!

And I see you have that handy shell crusher from the armory on your back, along with your trusty pizza cutter.

Ok, kid. You're out in the open, round 2 looming before you!

>WHAT DO?!

>>39116282
Bang our crab cracker on our pizza shield in anticipation of the fight.

>>39116282

Flex. It is how we shall always enter the arena.

>>39116282
Flex and fuse our weapons with sheer manliness!

>>39116282
flex it, gotta show them guns

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>>39116324
>>39116480

You immediately strike a pose, pushing your hairy muscles outward in an impressive way.

The crowd goes nuts! You are truly in pique human form!

>>39116520
To knight
"So, how is your sex life?"

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As the crowd dies down, Oblyx clears his throat
>"He truly is in pique human form!"
He states, grandiosely.
>"But what happens when his foe is not human..."
The crowd goes completely silent as the main gate opens

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>>39116559
Also we need some of this stuff

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>"but CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABS?!"
And out from the shadows of the gate, an enormous pile of bright red crabs pours out.
Horns blare and the audience goes absolutely fucking nuts.
Like
holy shit
these people really like crabs.

WELL. HERES YOUR OPPONENT. OPPONENTS? WHATEVER

>WHAT DO?!

>>39116601
well weve got a crab cracker and weve got crabs i believe the answer is obvious

>>39116621

Shit we have crabs? We need to get the special shampoo, stat!

>>39116601
They're Cheating! Burn with rage and boil your foes over this charade!

>>39116601
Boil them alive.

>>39116601
USE THE SHELL CRUSHER

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>>39116687
>>39116717
Holy shit, guy.
You must REALLY hate crabs. What, did they kill your parents?
Jesus christ, calm down man.
The Knight looks on in fear and concern.

Well, you're /boiling/ with rage now.

>WHAT DO?!

>>39116866
use your boiling face on the crabs

>>39116866
CRAB BATTLE!!!

BOIL them in their BLOOD

>>39116866
Hurricane into the crabs with your smoking moves

>>39116866

Hit their weak points for massive damage!

>>39116866
Call to the crowd for an iron cauldron.

>>39116866
Barbarian uses Raging whirlwind! It's super effective!

>>39116866
Pizza Knight 2adorbs

UNLEASH THE FEAST

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>>39116884
You quickly approach the crabs, seething with rage. You drop down to the ground, your face a mass of red, twisted muscle. Steam seems to pour from you. The crab looks up surprised!

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>>39117191
And with the nonchalance only a crustacean could possess, it lifts it's claw and pinches your eyeball.

http://www.myinstants.com/instant/rules-of-nature/

SO THAT HURT.
LIKE HOLY FUCK OUCH
LIKE NIGGA JESUS CHRIST

>WHAT CAN YOU DO?!

>>39117223
>USE SHELL CRUSHER

>>39117223
an eye for an eye, pinch its eye

>>39117223
this only fuels your now fire attuned Rage. start smashing with your crab cracker

>>39117223
Pinch that motherfucker's eyestalk right back. Demonstrate our clear superiority in all things: being red, pinching, probably some other stuff.

And close our other eye so as to be protected from a counterattack. Let's see a crab do THAT.

>>39117223
Rage steam breath. after you pinch it's eye off and eat it.

>>39117308
don't forget showing them how to properly crabwalk. also supporting.

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>>39117291
>>39117308
Matching it's intensity, you reach out your hand and pinch the little eyestalk as hard as you can!
Shockingly, it stays intact, and the little crab pinches even harder!

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JESUS FUCK IT POPPED YOUR EYE

Leaking tears and blood, the pain becomes too unbearable as you make a hasty retreat, unable to stand the pain!

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>>39117626
The crowd goes wild at the crabs' successful attack!

These peoples really like crabs. What the hell is up with that?

Anyways. You've retreated back to the Knight!

>WHAT DO?

>>39117642
Dual wield whirlwind of rage and hate!

>>39117642
Begin cracking the crabs open and tossing them to the crowd. They obviously love crab and would love to eat some. I mean they have been in those stands allllllllllll day...

>>39117626
damn these crabs have homefield advantage. better take our pizza shield to protect from further attacks and start smashing.

>>39117685
this

>>39117642
>USE THE SHELL CRUSHER

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>>39117685
You steel yourself and hold your hand out to the knight, who instinctively hands you the crab cracker without really thinking. You feel its weight in your hand.

This is it.

This is your moment.

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>>39117642
This guy is amazing

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>>39118158
With a running leap, and not really know how to use a crab cracker, you slam the utensil down onto the crab that pinched your eye, immediately crushing it into little crabby bits!

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>>39117685
You pick up a piece of carapace strewn about the ground and give it a toss to one of the crab fans. It bounces off his big dumb face with a loud "boink!"

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Oh?! Whats this?! The crabs seem to be writhing in anger, making little angry crab noises whilst crawling over each other to get to you.

Looks like the battle is truly on now.

>WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39118178
I love the facial expressions of your art. That look of udder insanity...

>>39118231
Press the clear advantage we have and begin to hammer away at the pile with our crab crushers!!!

>>39118231
Quickly ask our pizza how to use the crab cracker, then begin CRABMAGEDDON!

>>39118231
>Smash the crabs

>>39118231
WHIRLWIND ATTACK!

>>39118282

We already know how to use it. But our pizza COULD sing us a song of valor to bolster our morale!

>>39118312
>>39118274
These

>>39118231
Raging whirlwind of woe and wrath!

>>39118231
DUAL WIELD
CRAB CRACKER AND PIZZA CUTTER
MAKE CRAB PIZZA

>>39118369
>>39118231
This

good lord i can't breathe, best chapter yet!

>>39118369
They are crabs anon, not pizza. Why would we use the pizza cutter?
Also, is anyone wondering if these aren't really crabs?

>>39118430
I sometimes us my pizza cutter to crush garlic. crushing crabs shouldn't be too different.

>>39118653
That and don't you usually get served crabs that get cut in half?

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>>39118312
You shout back, demanding a song be sung for your showdown! You seem to have startled the Knight, who lets out a small yelp!

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>"Uhhh. Ummm... hurrah hurrah, crazy bald guy with no nose. Go go. Rah rah rah?"
The Knight sings out, very hesitantly.

It's not super confidence building, but it'll have to do!

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>>39118328
>>39118300

With lightning quick speed, you start spinning around, becoming a blur! You gain so much momentum that you start bouncing off the ground like a high speed top, barreling toward the crab mass!

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>>39118886
But alas! A large crab leaps from the group, straight toward you. It's claws snap in the air as it flies into your path!

You're going too fast!

YOU'RE GONNA CRASH!!

>WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39118904
SPIN FASTER! it can't pinch you if you spin fast enough.

>>39118904
Use your seething, boiling anger to boil it before it reaches you.

>>39118904
CRUSH HIM BETWEEN OUR PECS!

>>39118904
Boil rage steam breath attack, or it could be the fetid stench of luchador breath. Either will do.

>>39118904
GOTTA SPIN FAST

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>>39118942
>>39118932
You summon your pure hatred toward crabs! Your face turns bright red as steam and heat pour from your mouth!

>>39118932
>>39118931
These! Become a whirlwind of crab boiling rage!

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>>39119240
And in a flash, the crab is instantly transformed into a hot cooked meal, complete with butter and lemon!
The crowd gasps in shock!
The crabs do whatever crabs do when they're surprised!

>WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?!

>>39119258
Steaming whirlwind of rage and deliciousness go!

>>39119258
Eat crab

>>39119258
>>39119240
We are a steaming becomes of crab death! Boil the herd and enjoy the meal!

>>39119258
It's time for THE FIRST ANNUAL TOURNAMENT CRAB BOIL!

>>39119258
we have a weapon against them steam all the crabs.

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>>39119308
>>39119293
You land in the middle of all the crabs!
They part around you, their claws closing in on you!

This is it, this could be the final show down!

>WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39119600
Get so angry at the crabs that you burst into flames. No one wants to fight the guy who's on fire.

>>39119600
Eat them all.

>>39119600
RAGE OVERLOAD STEAM AND FIRE EVERYWHERE ARGLBLARGLEARGLEBLARGLE!

>>39119600
>Smash, we're a bradbarian, not a wizard with fancy fire magic

>>39119600
announce that they will become toppings to the pizza gods.

>>39119600
CUT THEIR FACES OFF

THIS KILLS THE CRABS

BRB FOOD

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Your mind goes blank
You turn into an eating machine.
All the crabs swarm you at once
pinching you
snapping at you
clawing you

It takes every bit off effort to keep up, eating them in one or two bites

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You feel them start to overtake you! One by one, crawling up your body, tearing at your flesh!
This isn't looking good...

>>39120852
WHILRDWIND! scatter them then pick them off one by one.

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The crabs finally are able to completely cover you! All that is left is a hand, grasping at air!

This is it. It looks like this might actually be the end.

You have enough thought left in you for one action!

>WHAT IS IT??

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Break out!

>>39120923
activate your bradbarian true rage and WHIRLDWIND!

>>39120923
FLEX THEM OFF. FLEX EVERYTHING.

>>39120923
Whirlwind to end all whirlwind, channel the wind spirit like your ancestors did!

>>39120923
Flex so hard you snap the shells

>>39120923
BRADBARIAN RAGE!

>>39120923
FLEX LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER FLEXED BEFORE!

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>>39120923
FLEX YOUR MUSCLES.

THIS KILLS THE CRAB.

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>>39121119
>>39121001
>>39121000
>>39120966
WITH THE POWER OF THE BRADBARIAN, YOU FLEX
AND I MEAN FLEX
LIKE HOLY SHIT, THATS A LOT OF SWOLE

You flex so hard it sends a shockwave through the crabs, crushing every single one. Even as they fly off your body, they snap midair once the power of the flex reaches them!

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>>39121222
I love it

>>39121222
DO NOT WASTE TIME IN REVELRY

CONSUME THEIR MEATY INNARDS FOR SUSTENANCE

>>39121315
F
E
A
S
T

>>39121315
No! We must feed the crowd as they clearly came here for crab!!!

>>39121315
SECONDED WE MUST RECUPERATE WITH DELICIOUS CRAB!

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>>39121222
The Knight stands in awe, mouth agape.
Looks like you're the toughest thing they've ever seen.

Looks like you have a fanboy.

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You stand there in all of your glory, covered in meat and carapace as the crowd goes absolutely bananas.

You've just beaten round 2. All thats left now is the final round.

>QUICK. WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39121396
FEAST!

>>39121396
DEMAND OLD BAY SO YOU CAN FEAST

>>39121396
CONSUME CRABS TO GAIN THEIR STRENGTH

>>39121375
Knight gender finally confirmed!

>>39121396
Give the remaining crabs to the crowd!

>>39121438
I mean they clearly came here for crab! Also these poor people seem to have not eaten at all today, and we are clearly a champion of the people!

>>39121396
Rest and recover with your fanboy.

>>39121396
>covered in [...] carapace
FUCKING. GENIUS.

Slap together some menacingly pointy crabshell pauldrons.

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>>39121424
You immediately drop to your knees and start stuffing your face with the crab meat and shell.

Eat up, bud. You earned it.

Better also eat up, because it looks like you have your final battle up next.

WHO WILL YOU FIGHT?!
WHO WILL WIN?!?
WHY ARE YOU SO GOD DAMNED CRAZY?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON QUEST QUEST!
g'night guise
mwah

>>39121580
thanks for the laughs.

>>39121580
Man you and this quest are so fucking aces man, I love it. Have a great night and thanks for running.

>>39121580
Thanks for running!

>>39121580
It was a fantastic run OP, 10/10 would hunt and kill pizza with again.

>>39121580
Love you <3

>>39121580
Thanks for running.

I like your art...

Can I be your groupy?

Archive pls

>>39121718
idk how ;_;

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>>39121718
>>39121834
Archived

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>>39121614
>>39121624
>>39121629
>>39121643
>>39121645
>>39121651
Thanks guys!
Always fun!
here have a B'raed

>>39122000
Thanks, dude. See you later.