>Episode 1
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38853924/
>Episode 2
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38878461/

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Reginald, the giant masketta man stands before you looking quite buff.
Oblyx, the High Prince running the tournament, claimed that this is the previous years champ. Tough luck getting matched with him first.

I mean, look at that mask.
Look at that speedo

>>39034654
try to avoid looking at the speedo fail and look at the speedo

>>39034654
We all know that the only way to truly defeat a luchador is to remove his mask, shaming him in front of all.

The speedo is, in it's own way, also a mask. Attempt to pants that motherfucker so the crowd will have no choice but to giggle at the once-champion like thousands of schoolchildren.

>>39034654
Low blow the pants him and shove his speedo down his throat.

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BUT HEY, YOU'RE BRAD GOD DAMMIT. No one is buffer than you. You're the buffest. A buffet of buffness. Buff to the touch. You've got this.
The knight panics beside you
>"S-SIR! Please let me go! I'm not supposed to be in the tournament, I'm just a hired hand! Sir this is highly irregular!"

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>>39034799
Unfortunately, all you see is a talking slice of pizza in the knight's place and hear it chanting;
>"YES! YES LETS FIGHT! THE WILL OF CHEESE DEMANDS IT!"

You're god damn looney, but oh well.

>WHAT DO?

>>39034824
Lowblow Reginald with the pizza then cutter him up!

>>39034824
Lock eyes with our fated foe and initiate the flex-off; the customary dominance contest in the world of big guys.

>>39034824

Offer a prayer to Cheesus Crust and see if he offers any advice.

>>39034824
Do this >>39034883

>>39034824
Become momentarily sane enough for a single strike!

>>39034824
Challenge Reginald to a flex off, if this fails,pants him.

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>>39034968
>>39034898
>>39034883
HOW DARE HE TRY TO BE BUFFER THAN YOU.
You know what this means. With cold determination, you flex. You flex your god damned heart out.
Look at those muscles.
LOOK AT THAT BODY, MCMAHON.

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>>39035199
The crowd cheers at your body. But not all are cheering.
Reginald looks taken aback. Offended even!

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>>39035224
And with a grunt, he leans over and flexes every god damned muscle he has. Back muscles. Boob muscles. Belly button muscles. His body turns into a tight, veiny mass of raw strength.
The crowd gasps... and cheers even harder at him.

Looks like you lost the flex-off.

>WHAT DO YOU DO??!

>>39035258
accuse him of holding back and try to get him to flex so hard he explodes

>>39035258
SNEAK ATTACK! RIP HIS MASK OFF!

>>39035258
Lowblow him while he's posing, then pants him and stuff the speedo down his mouth. Then Rip his mask off.

>>39035258
have your pizza flex with you as well to double your flexing prowess

>>39035258
Don't get too broken up over it, Brad. It's obvious that we're still the manlier specimen because we've got body hair and he doesn't.

>>39035258
Accuse him of using magical steroids.

Anyone else remember Huge Quest? I do. And what we must do is clear. Pantsing him is not it.

Also after we win or lose the tournament we should go on a quest to find our sanity. Or at least a way to get rid of the spooky ghost.

>>39035360
First thing we have to do after we WIN the tournament is pay off the weapons merchant. We're NOT going back to jail again.

>>39035464

But we kinda hit him over the head. That's assault and battery. We're fucked unless we pay him back double.

>>39035493
alright then well pay him 30 gold and we'll advertise his weaponstand or something.

>>39035258
Yell that he can do better than that and use the distraction to cut his muscles off his body

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>>39035317
You run up to him while he's distracted by his own muscles. He looks up, quite surprised!

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>>39035766
And with a quick jump, you're on top of him, hands gripped around his mask and pulling with all your might! The crowd gasps, knowing that all of Reginald's pride is in that mask!

>>39035785
His willy's in the mask? What?

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>>39035785
And the crowd falls silent as you rip the mask from his head, holding it triumphantly in the air.

Now lets see what ugly mug that mask was hiding...

>>39035804
Well, why do you think he wears it, after all.

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>>39035828
MY GOD. HE WAS PREPARED! Another mask lay underneath the first mask. He does not look too happy about what you just did.

>WHAT DO YOU DO??

>>39035785
His teeth are so sharp...

>>39035855
Cut him into small triangular slices.

>>39035855
wear the mask

>>39035855
Shoe's untied lowblow trick.

>>39035855
WEAR. HIS. MASK.

>>39035891
This.

>>39035891
>>39035904
>>39035907
You hear the voices, OP.
WEAR THE MASK.

>>39035855
Put the mask on the pizza as a topping/trophy of battle

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>>39036098
You immediately put on the mask. You've earned it bud. You really have. And the audience seems to like it.

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>>39036270
And the audience cheers even harder as Reginald chokes the everloving shit out of you.

I mean, wow. He's really choking you. Look at that.

>WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39036298
tenderly rub and admire his muscles

>>39036298
CHOKE HIS BALLS

>>39036298
Claw his eyes out

>>39036298
Choke his arms, so they suffocate and drop us, and them... CHALLENGE HIM TO A DANCE CONTEST!!

>>39036328
Small circles around his nipples.

It's perfect. He'll be so surprised.

>>39036298
Poke his eyes! Then rip them off with his mask!

>>39036298
Flex our neck muscles.

Flex them like we mean it.

>>39036298
lift his arms off your neck

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>>39036374
>>39036343
Woah! What a dirty move! You're able to shove your fat little fingers into his eyeballs. With a horrifying scream, he releases you! The crowd goes wild!

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>>39036681
With Reginald screaming and crying, you're able to get a moment to get your breath back! But don't spend too much time breathing! There are more important things to do!
Aren't there?!

>WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39036701
PROVE THY STRENGTH, THROW HIM INTO THE SUN!

>>39036701
Yes, remove another mask.

>>39036716
I second we at least attempt this

>>39036701
The art looks different than usual in some of these

>>39036701
remove the speedo

>>39036716
DRILL ELBOW, TO THE UNIVERSE AND ABOVE!!

>>39036701
LOWblow, the remove keba- I mean mask. Then wear it.

>>39036701
When he comes to, make him flex hard enough to have a brain aneurism and his head explode.

>>39036701
whack him with the broad side of your pizza cutter and send him flying out of the stadium, having you win by means of ring out.

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>>39036767
At last, now is your chance! With a running jump, you leap forth and tear down his trousers! The crowd gasps! Mothers cover their children's eyes! The local poofs lean in closer in anticipation! This, surely, will be the final blow to his ego!

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>>39037017
M-my god.... This man came prepared for everything.
You might as well give up now. It's not like you can win. He's too buff. Too prepared. 2 cool 4 school.

>SO? WHAT DO YOU DO?!

>>39037017
...He's wearing doubles, isn't he?

>>39037044
Ask the pizza for advice

>>39037044
Throw the pizza at him.

>>39037044
give him the biggest wedgie the world will ever see using the spedo you already have im your hands

>>39037044
headbutt his penis

>>39037044
remove his muscles

>>39037044
This man is way cool. Like cold pizza cool for breakfadt cool. And we are hungry.
>USE PIZZA CUTTER

>>39037044
His legs are tied! Mess him up!

>>39037097
seconding dual wedgie. two speedos mean twice the wedgies!

>>39037097
this

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>>39037125
With cunning precision, you hoist the man's speedo up, rocketing it toward his crack. The combined force of both the wedgies is enough to send a shockwave of energy across the arena!

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>>39037496
Reginald screams out in pain! His poor buttocks will probably never be unwedged again. Say goodbye to going to the bathroom without any medical help!

>>39037496
Dat ass!

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>>39037524
He returns the pain right back to you, kicking you right in the butt and sending you flying across the field.

Maybe you can use this time to think about the choices you've made. Probably not a good idea to give a man a wedgie in front of a live audience. Sounds kinda mean, doesn't it? Makes you sound like a mean old bully. Maybe you shoul- Oh hey! Theres the ground.

>>39037496

hissatsu: 8 equal pieces

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>>39037565
You slide to a stop in the dirt, just in time to see the knight nervously creeping away.

>QUICK! WHAT DO?

>>39037583
Grab knight and toss into Regi!

>>39037583

Grab his cape, look him sternly in the eye, and say "SIT."

>>39037583

wear his cape

uh I mean his crust

>>39037583
What Knight? There's only our trusty Pizza shield.
Time to get serious. Imagine the Lucha as a Unsliced pizza and do what comes naturally.

>>39037583
Grab shield, grab cutter. GO HOG WILD

>>39037583
Grab his ankle, lift hip up and use him to wipe off the dirt from our body like a towel.

>>39037646
This is an idea that can only go well.

>>39037583
do >>39037602 while yelling "EAT THIS"

>>39037696
Seconding.

I bet his clothes are no match for a pizza cutter

>>39037908
His muscles might be.

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You'll have none of that now! You grab the knight by their cape and yank them over, prompting a high pitched yelp from the frightened knight!

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>>39038061
Finally, equipped with your pizza shield and the cutter, you're ready for battle. Nothing stands in your way. Not even...

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>>39038088
A GIANT, ANGRY UNSLICED PIZZA!

THIS IS IT, FRIEND. THE FINAL CONFRONTATION!

>WHAT DO?!

>>39038098
Throw pizza slice at pizza yelling Eat this so it can become a double pizza, Then cut it apart for food!

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>>39038098
CUT AND KILL

>>39038098
CUT THAT SHIT OUT

>>39037569

>>39038098
the question is... 4 slices or 8?

>>39038098
Use the shield to block his attacks and kill him.

>>39038098
Cut it! Also...

>>39038061
>Suspiciously avoiding pronouns.

>>39038219
Neither. Cut him into squares

>>39038243
pizza does not have pronouns anon

>>39038255
You deranged monster!

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>>39038140
>>39038209
You grab your tools and charge at the pizza, full run. Your shield cheers you on! Definitely not screaming for help and pleading to be let go. Nope! Cheers of support!

>>39038098
Eat it

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The Large Luchador Pizza charges right back, eyes burning with anger! Little does he know what cheesey fate awaits him! The crowd goes silent!

>>39038398
He's getting ready to swing with the other hand, isn't he.

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AND IN A FLASH, YOU PASS EACHOTHER IN THE AIR

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>>39038642
And land across the arena from each other.
A blow was made... someone was hit... but who?
You could cut the tension with a knife. Or a pizza cutter.
The crowd is silent.

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>>39038670
And just like that, the Pizza is cut into cheesy little slices; each one falling to the ground as you smirk in satisfaction. You hear cries of horror from the audience.

Its like they've never seen Pizza before. Weird.

>WHAT DO?

>>39038693
EAT THE PIZZA

>>39038693
BELLOW YOUR VICTORY TO THE HEAVENS!

DEMAND MORE!

>>39038693
Offer the duke a slice while you eat one yourself!

>>39038693
>You hear cries of horror from the audience.
Probably just worried that they might not get a piece. There are only six slices, after all.

>>39038693
Rub the cheese all over yourself

>>39038730
Actually wait, there are 7. I guess I was already mentally allocating one for ourselves to celebrate glorious victory with a pizza party.

How the fuck did he cut it into 7 pieces anyway? I guess we multiclassed into Wizard or something.

>>39038693
Bask in the glory of victory!

>>39038693
toss the slices into the crowd! Free Pizza!

>>39038693
Eat the pizza to regain forces

>>39038755
Clearly the so-called knight is one of the slices

>>39038827
Trying to disguise themselves and slip away, eh? Clever. We chose our shield well.

BRB FOOD

>>39038860
Hope you enjoy the pizza.

>>39038755
He had to have cut it from the middle out.
Not impossible, but difficult.

I love you so much OP.

we really shouldn't forget to get those speedos. they match our mask.

>>39039264
Nah, man. That shit is so far up his ass, it's gonna take the jaws of life to get out of there.

>>39039264
>>39039365

The speedos are probably cut in several pieces too

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>>39038732
>>39038730
You show the audience the beautiful, cheesy winnings! You hear them groan and wretch. Probably because they're not eating it right now!

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>>39039679
So you show them! Show them all. It's so cheesy and delicious. Tho, it tastes kind of metallic...
Whatever. Looks like you win!

OP, if not a trip, you should probably at least put on a name.

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The audience claps hesitantly as High Prince Oblyx leans forward, laughing.
>"Haha, wow. That was disgusting. But it looks like last years champion is no more. We'll send his family some money. I'm just kidding, they won't get shit!"
The audience warms up and laughs and cheers.
>"Anyways, round 2 will start in a bit. You there, champion. Go rest up or whatever."

>WHAT DO YOU DO?

>>39039706
rejoice with your gear, especially the shield with it's morale support.

This is the most vicariously stupid quest I've ever been a part of.
And I love it.

>>39039709
why?

>>39039751
Rest is for the weak, demand another fight and throw him the round pizza peice

>>39039751
Take pizza and go enjoy the other pizza. Maybe find a complementary wench to vent our lust on.

>>39039751
ask some attendant where the cleaning area is and bathe there, also don't forget to maintain your weapon and shield in between scrubbing.

>>39039751
Give this nice man a slice of pizza. He can't reach it from his balcony, so Brad throws it.

>>39039791
seconding finding a wench to plow while enjoying our trusty shield pizza.

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>>39039791
You head on into the champion locker room, hoping to find a wench in there to plow. The Pizza shield whimpers in your arms as you walk forth

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>>39040088
You arrive to find that it quite literally is a locker room. And noticeably wenchless. It does smell like ass, though. So thats a thing. You could wait here, explore, search for a wench, or whatever.

>>39040110
Talk with pizza shield, seduce it

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>>39040110
Oh, also you see this thing. Whatever this is.

>>39040110
Converse with pizza shield.

>>39040131
Ask it to read thingie to you.

>>39040131
Get Pizza Shield to read the paper.
Then find wenches to plow.

>>39040110
clean ourselves together with our pizza buddy, don't forget to take off it's toppings.

If we have gods, thank them in prayer.

>>39040131
STARE HARDER, MAKE IT TELL YOU IT'S SECRETS THROUGH INTIMIDATION

>>39040131
Somebody drew a bunch of crabs, I guess? Cool.

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>>39040220
>>39040143
You push the Pizza toward the poster, urging it to read the strange squiggles on it.

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>>39040409

Frightened, the Knight reads the list to you. Looks to be the challenger list for the tournament!
I wonder who all of these could be???

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>>39040456
Aw fuck

>>39040456
hold up a fucking second, you ACTUALLY had register on the richter scale to get into the tournament? These are some serious condenders.

>>39040456
Quite interesting. With this knowledge...
>WHAT DO?

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>>39040516
fuck
picture

>>39040516

We need to go apologize to the merchant from before and hope he has a crab-cracker. That or we ask Steve the Pizza what he knows.

>>39040544
Pizza tell me about the others. Also where get crabcracker?

>>39040544
This. Also set up a deal where he lends you his arsenal while you shill his wares.

>>39040541
Take off that mask.

>>39040456
Enter the showers, and prepare a bucket of hot water with which to boil our enemy.

>>39040456
clearly we need to rummage around for a more suitable weapon. Not everything is going to be pizza.

How about a giant crab cracker?

wait wasn't orc brad's name gnuknuk? this could be his older brother.

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>>39040593
>>39040611
After taking off the mask, you walk into the shower and get a bucket of hot water; the crabs worst nightmare!

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>>39040672
You turn to Pizza Shield and ask it about a cracker. Perhaps one that specializes in crabs...

We need some Old Bay spice.

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>>39040827
>"Well..."
The knight begins
>"I mean... I can check the armory??"

THATS SOMETHING, AT LEAST!
>WHAT DO YOU DO?

>>39040895
"Take off your helmet it makes you look like a girl."

>>39040895
Remove cheese from pizza! (armor in actuality) then check armory.

>>39040895
Lead the way friend pizza.

>>39040895
Follow him(?) to the armory.

>>39040919
>removing cheese froma pizza
but it wont even be a pizza then, just some bread with sauce on top.

>>39040895
New plan. Go get the largest maul from the armory and the largest iron pot from the kitchens. We're boiling Crabs tonight.

>>39040895
Yeah! What a totally trustworthy and loyal ally who definitely isn't trying to find an excuse to run away!

>>39040914

Back up. Was Knight confirmed as a guy yet?

>>39040965
nope, not like it matters though as in character he sees him/her as a pizza which do not have genders.

>>39040965
Pizza doesn't have a gender, idiot.

>>39040982
Yeah, course I wonder how much Brad loves pizza. Are you a bad enough dude to fuck a pizza?

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>>39041004
well pizza can be quite sexual if Escape from Sex Zoo has taught me anything.

>>39041096
.....

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>>39040914
>"O-oh. Sorry."
Pizza Shield says, taking off the helmet. Or crust. To be honest, I have no fuckin clue what you're seeing.

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>>39041134
>"Any way, the armory is right here."
You're lead over to a door marked "Armory"
>"I have to warn you, it's pretty bare bones. I doubt you'll find what you need."

You inch closer and peer inside...

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>>39041134
...Dexter?

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>>39041156
Well. It IS pretty bare bones.
I'm not sure if you'll even want anything in here.

>DO YOU?

>>39041183
get everything.

>>39041183
Looks like CRAB is back on the menu boys!
Next get a massive iron cauldron to boil the crabs in. Unless we're about to fight against crabs the std which is a lot less exciting.

>>39041183

Obtain the Crab Cracker and reward our new squire with a slap on the rear.

Wait...

We pat the crust for good luck?

>>39041221
A shield can't be a squire can it?

>>39041183
Obtain the weapon that looks like a large shell cracker.

>>39041183
All the things.

ALL THE THINGS.

>>39041183
...Huh, whaddaya know.

Cracker is a sure bet, but I wanna grab the wibbley dagger too so we've got a surprise up our loincloth in case things get dicey. no, not that.

>>39041236
It's customary to strike your shield with weapon or hand if you're chanting, as a soldier.
Apropros?

>>39041183
get the thing that looks like a crab cracker Then find out its just a bolt cutter

>>39041183
GRAB THAT AXE YOU FOOL

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>>39041309
>>39041247
>>39041221
YES! You've found a large crab cracker! Perfect to go with your giant pizza cutter.
You're getting quite the armory!

Now you're ready for round 2. And I hear the horns a-blowin'.
Are you ready?
Are you pumped
TUNE IN NEXT TIME
Luv u guise

>>39041389
thanks for running

>>39041389
Y-you too.

>>39041389

Question: Where do we keep the pizza cutter?

>>39041389
NO WE FORGOT THE BUTTER!

I seriously hope pizza is a reverse trap because that hits so many of my fetishes

>>39041426
;)

>>39041389
>That look of utter insanity.

You have done so well in this OP

Someone archive pls

>>39041389
Luv u bae <3

>>39041389
archived, as always

y-you too