>>39026811
>Run for your life
Scream HELP mugger!

>>39026811
>Go for the guardhouse door, you're (probably) faster
while screaming for help and that some monster is trying to kill us

>>39026811
>"How would YOU like to purchase a perfectly captured rendition of two hot elf ladies goin at it? Because I was just sellin a bunch to the guards, and it'd take me seconds to make more once I get back to the tavern."

>>39026811
>Go for his other eye with your wand

>>39026811
>Go for the guardhouse door, you're (probably) faster

>>39026811
Scream bloody murder, so the guards come looking, while running away.

Do we have any quickly castable spells, like grease, light, sparks or something?

Also trow sand in eye at first opportunity.

>>39026811
"Ya want your gold, ya green fuck? Here!"

Hit him in the fun bits with your coin purse.

>>39026811
>Go for the guardhouse door

Too bad we stabbed him in the eye, or we could offer to suck him off and sell the video for money.
Troll cock is cash.

You scream bloody murder, surprising the troll for a second, as you change momentum, charging towards him, before diverting to his free handss side at the last second.

The troll man catches on to you just as you pass him, bringing his club around in a viscous arc, aiming straight for the centre of your spine.

>Roll D100

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>39027019
we going for high or low? how many rolls?

>>39027044
best of three, highest roll

>>39027019
>bringing his club around in a viscous arc
>viscous

and thats a shot, off to an early start Chuckles

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60 KB JPG

>>39027059
shhhhhh

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>39027019
Man I have below average luck, hope this works.

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>39027019
The other anon is shit, here you go.

>>39027101
thanks for that good roll anon, the other rolls were indeed shit

now if only we got bonuses for doubles

File: Ron_Jeremy_2009.jpg (52 KB, 401x599)

52 KB JPG

>>39027101
Yay?

75+ is usually success.

Also our MC should look like this. Just saying.

>>39027144
>Also our MC should look like this. Just saying.
And I'll just say you can go fuck off with that ugly fucker

>>39027150
You clearly don't watch a lot of porn.

>>39027174
No I watch my fair share, I just have taste and don't watch any of that fat ugly fucks crap.

Get some better taste pleb.

Also I'm pretty sure Reeses' looks has been described in spoiled prince and its off shoots.

Either way no, we're not looking like that sack of fat.

>>39027211
Pretty sure the spoiled prince wizard's name was spelled differently.

>>39027224
I may have spelled it wrong but its the same name and seems to be in the same setting just much earlier

>>39027144
I'm imagining Reese as more of a scrawny, awkward nerd.

You drop to the floor with all the grace of a dead fish as you hear the club whistle by overhead. Crawling forwards on your hands and knees towards the guard door again, scrabbling yourself upright, you throw the door open.

"HELP ME!" You scream, tossing yourself into the room, getting as much furniture and guards as possible between you and the door.

Very few of the guards watching Aeglin's live show with the orc woman pay attentinon to you, cheering the women on, as they remain locked at the lips, and not the face ones at that.

You finally manage to shake a lupine guard hard enough to break his attention away from the show, "There's a troll man- outside, he attacked me, tried to mug me, please he's- he's coming!" You beg, clutching at his shoulders.

The lupine narrows his eyes, looking back at the two naked women for a second, before dragging you by the collar of your robe towards the door. He's not inside the guardhouse, you'd see him in here at least. Leaning out into the street, the lupine looks both ways, sniffing at the air.

"E' was here. Gone now. Fuck knows where, got enough muggers in this town that he coulda crawled inta any old rat hole." He shoves you aside, trying to elbow his way back into the crowd, "Now piss off!"

The door is still gaping open into the night, the breeze blowing in softly.

>What do?

>>39027272
>Go inside and enjoy the show. You can leave with the elf bodyguard after.

>>39027272
head inside where the guards and our bodyguard are, see if we can't record their live performance and keep an eye out for the troll

>>39027272
>Go watch with the Guards, if the guy who kicked us out gives us trouble, apologize and say we just want to watch.
Safety in numbers.

>>39027272
Pay up the porn star, make more copies, and leave the town.

>>39027211
that crazy wizard was Rheeses
we are Reece

>>39027289
we left the camera at the tavern room with the red head elf

>>39027289
We didn't bring the camera, else that's what we'd be doing.

>>39027295
Last thing I want when watching porn is some guy apologizing for interrupting my porn.

>>39027289
We hid the magic camera before coming here to sell stones, just in case we got mugged.

>>39027272
Carefully make our way back to the tavern. Gotta secure orb and pay our other elf assistant

You guys do know what's going to happen, right?

We're going to record a crime, present it as evidence, and end up accidentally bringing a smutstone to court.

Also put some gold in our shoes or hide in clothing,underwear, shirt collar, or wherever we can safely hide it., in case we get mugged.

>>39027361
Should make a habit of swallowing a few coins so we know that, one way or another, we'll have some gold in a few hours.

>>39027361
>Troll does a literal shake down by holding us upside down and shaking us, thus making it rain

>>39027373
you do know how toxic that is right?

>>39027395
As long as we wash them, gold is really not toxic. Its a noble metal, and does not chemically join with your body. Only problem is the money germs and stuff.

>>39027395
Similarly with silver, but it does bond with your body, and makes your skin blue with prolonged intake.

Don't swallow chopper tho. It would probably give us the shits.

>>39027373
>>39027432
>>39027521
Or we could magic up a pocket dimension or some kind of hidden bag of holding for the Orb and our precious stuff and money

You quickly scurry back inside and shut the door behind you, pushing your way back through the crowd, as you hear one long drawn out moan, quickly joined by another. Presumably Aeglin just finished up.

Oh no, she hasn't, now she's fishing about for another target, dragging another woman in, a human this time, as the orc just lays back, Aeglin shoving the womans head between the orcs legs, as the crowd goes wild.

Someone sloshes mead all down your robe, as Aeglin jumps up on the human womens back, having the woman carry her weight, even while she still pleasures the orc in a pushup position, while Aeglin shakes about on top of her, starting some wordless chant that soon devolves into the guards trying to sing about five different songs at the same time.

With a dramatic leap, Aeglin jumps off the womans back, crashing into the crowd, who collectively catch her overhead,squeezing and fondling her, as she gets passed along, whooping with excitement.

"Alrigh' boys, nuff's enough." She calls out, "Time to go down. Hey, get that finger outta there!" She snaps, but winks at the elf man as she gets to the floor, staggering about as she touches the floor, nearly knocking you over as she accidentally bumps into you. "Oh... S'you. How ya doin' runt?" She asks, clearly half drunk. "Yer an idjit ya know. We coulda made a boat load more money tonight as well, just by bringin that whatsit thing along."

You regret having not told her about your debts to the university sooner, if you have to explain to her like this.

>Write in

>>39027535
I would have brought it along but some concerns of mine regarding its and my safety were realized outside shortly ago, if we can find somewhere a little more private and still safe I can explain.

>>39027535
I have my reasons, which I'll be more than willing to explain once we get back to our room at the tavern.

>>39027535
"Or we coulda lost the camera. I got mugged right outside the door. 's why I stuck around. Half-troll, big bastard."

where the fuck did everyone go?

>>39027691
I don't want to explain myself to a drunk bodyguard, who was lezzing out when we were getting mugged by debt collectors.

Its boring, and I got better things to think about. I personally went and started cooking food.

well this anon needs sleep, hopefully the other 9 players that were here earlier come back or speak up

I would have brought it, if I wasnt scared of what literally happened right outside happening to me." You snap at her.

She takes a few seconds to blink at that, ruffling her sex messed hair out. "...What?"

You roll your eyes. "Shut up and get dressed. I can tell you back at the tavern."

She scowls at that. "Get dressed? But this was just my half time break." She whines, picking up a guards tunic off the floor, left by a man who is now balls deep inside the human woman Aeglin had stripped, she pulls it on and it hangs too just below her knees, as she says she's ready.

You stare at her testily, and she wanders off in search of her breeches, coming back a few minutes later, "Ruin all me fun, you do." She grunts, before thumping a fist into your back. "Oi! Where's my money now?" She demands.

"You can have it once we're at the inn. Alright?" You hiss, heading for the door, just as it flies open, striking you in the face and knocking you backwards on the floor.

You yelp in pain, falling back on your arse. "STOP THIS SINNING AT ONCE!" A man robed in white bellows, holding a holy book high over head.

Of course the debauchery continues unimpeded, in fact, it might even ramp up a little.

The holy man goes red in the face, "THIS IS A MOCKERY! A MOCKERY OF THE GODS, FOUL MISCREANTS!" He roars, finally garnering some attention.

The orc captain comes stumbling forward, a tunic much too small for her pulled on, still leaving her saliva drenched groin visible. "Whassis now?" She slurs out, her accent worsened by her drunkenness. "Watcha want bishop?"

The man scowls, jowls quivering. "You make a mockery of two gods with this foulness captain. Both Ylva and Feyin weep at this..... evil. You twist an act that is designated for those who love each other! You turn it into a thing of drunken greed! AND I AM COME TO PUT A STOP TO THIS!"

The clergyman spots you on the floor, "And who is this whelp?" He demands.

>Write in

>>39027805
Just someone who got mugged seeking help, but thankfully one of the guardsmen on watch helped me out and scared my mugger off, and with the danger passed I'm returning to the safety of my home.

>>39027805
Hello, I am trawling merchant, who almost got mugged by troll just now.

Also which gods are being mocked?

(Can we have some religious background on the setting, so we can explain that this is perfectly acceptable by some fertility god or something? There are a lot of gods that encourage drunken orgies.)

>>39027805
"The victim of a mugging who came here for help, bishop. I notice that it was these guards here who helped me, and neither you nor the gods who protected me."

>>39027883
careful, we don't want to anger him and get his attention

we want to give him a half truth, enough to sate his curiosity and give us a good reason for being here and for leaving promptly

>>39027805
"A guy tryina make some money. And honestly, if you think that sex is the same as love, you're probably the one who's most messed up. Sex can be as casual as love can be chaste."

>>39027883
Now now, no need to piss off the clergy right now if we can help it. Don't need the religious zealots coming after us too

But man, this guy.

Barges into an orgy and screams "This is a sin!" ~What a jelly virgin party pooper.

>>39027940
Well, him and Reeses have one thing in common, they're the only two people at the orgy not getting any.

>>39027805
>>39027883
>The gods lose worshippers as more and more convert to atheism
>Heaven loses power and gets pushed back by demons, who start starring in some of the best porn productions to try and draw in worshippers
>We end up being annointed as the Demon Lord of Porn
>Conquer heaven, make this asshole's gods our personal sluts

Plan is made, gentlemen.

>>39028044
We must convince priests that watching porn is okay while being celibate.

That is a real priority. Devoted clients, and less trouble from church. its a win-win.

We should do some series with altar boys, or something.

>>39028096
>Altat boys
Dammit I chuckled

>>39028044
>Thinking that some of the gods don't actually approve of our actions

"I'm just a merchant, seeking protection from a mugging." You tell him, picking yourself up from the floor.

The bishop stares down his long nose at you, "And what, pray tell, were doing on the floor in the midst of such debauchery?"

The orc captain speaks up before you ca n, "E' was selling us rocks which show you moving fuck pictures."

You cringe, biting the inside of your lower lip so hard you nearly draw blood, glaring at the huge orc, who promptly ignores you and starts making eyes at Aeglin again.

The priest's face goes from red to a deep maroon. "You.... you dare take one of the most beautiful gifts the gods present to all the races, something meant to show a connection of the soul... to bring life into this world.... and you CAPITALIZE ON IT? Sell it like tickets to a mummers show?" He's starting to descend on you, an accusing finger jabbing at your chest.

"Hoi!" Aeglin half steps half stumbles between you and the priest, shoulders squared. "Ow's about thish then? Summin ta think about. What he did ain't illegal. Striclee speakin, your finger struck him just then." She gives him a smug drunken smile, "And we just spent all nigh makin frenns with the guardss. So wh donchu clear ou, fore you get arressted, eh?"

The priest's face has gone so red, I fear it may go beyond my sight, to the fabled colour beyond colour, looking at Aeglin, then you, then to the orc captain. The orc woman nods in agreement, baring her tusks as she smiles at him.

He takes a step backwards, out through the door. "Very well, fiends. See what comes of you." He turns on his heel, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Fuckin hate priestly types, eh." Aeglin grunts, turning back to you.

>What do?

>>39028138
Let's just leave before it keeps getting worse for us. Back to the tavern already.

>>39028138
WELP

>"...shit. Welp, can't do anything about it now..." Talk to the captain. "So, how'd you like to star in the next piece? You'll get to do all that over again and get a cut of the profits as a result."

We are so going to get a succubutt secretary sent here to make sure we keep up the "good" work.

>>39028138
Chase after him and offer to use our device for the good of the church.
(We need to make that altar boy video lol)
Don't make an enemy of fanatic church.

>>39028138
"Let's go back to the tavern.
"Hey Captain, you want another go with Aeglin? How about tomorrow night, you let me record it, and I pay half for the ale?"

We could also charge some gold from everyone for a live performance and free ale, and the option to join in and get recorded.

>>39028190
Actually...if we explain our predicament, say that it can be used for prayers and sermons to be recorded, and send them out to the villages that might need some education...

>>39028209
That's not a terrible idea, actually.

Chuckles, let's at least offer it to the guy. Or maybe put it to a vote.

alrighty then

>Get the fuck outta dodge
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow
>Offer services to the bishop

>>39028269
Maybe not to that guy, but someone else in the Church, who may have more power than him. Or from a competing Church, just so we can get a religious war (and the blood money from selling movies of religious zealots killing each other) going.

>>39028281
>Offer services to the bishop

>>39028138
Seconding >>39028208

Gotta be thinking about that next picture.

>>39028281
>>Offer services to the bishop

Like seriously don't make enemy of church.

>>39028281
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow

>>39028281
>Offer services to the bishop
We can play off the porn as an act of desperation.

>>39028281
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow

Really not interested in playing Religious Education Videos: The Quest.

>>39028332
But once it goes legitimate, we get some offers from playwrights to help make movies. We'll end up doing religious vids on the side while we dive into a life of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll.

>>39028281
>>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow

>>39028332
You realize the more uses we can find for our work, the more bank we can make towards our debt, right?

>>39028281
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow

>>39028281
>Offer services to the bishop

>>39028281
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow
That bishop is too mad right now to even think about talking with us. If we offer our services to the Church, it'll have to be to another bishop.

>>39028281
>Offer services to the bishop... Later
Churches/temples usual have lots of gold

>>39028332
We don't have to. We just have convince them not to burn us at the stake.

Its better to do couple hours of church, than being attacked by religious fanatics, and possibly loosing actors, and profit.

If we convince him that filming(and possibly porn) is not evil, we might rake in massive profits.

>>39028281
>Invite the guards to participate tomorrow
We really missed a chance here.

>>39028441
This guy knows what's up.

>>39028441
Agreed with you there. I don't want the dumb masses sent at us at the "gods" commands

>>39028411
Agreed, I think going after him now would just make things worse, even if we are going to go through with this.

Give him time to cool down, approach him later in more calm surroundings.

>>39028550
And give him time to spread his propaganda, so he can't go back to his word, that we are the Satan?

Have you even meat church goers? They are literally mafia, only with old ladies, instead of drug dealers.

"Shit." You hiss under your breath, "Well there's nothing to be done about it right now." You turn away from Aeglin, who mutters something about not getting any thanks, "Captain.... is there any chance that you or any of your guards would like to star in my next piece? You get to have the same fun with our elven friend all over again, and get a pay out of it."

The orc woman laughs heartily at that, "Well, you can count me in runt. What'd you say ya name was again. Reece or summin?" You nod. "Well, I'll bring everyone who wants ta along, ya can be sure o that. I'll be seeyin ya tomorrow then, after the shift."

She even sends that lupine arse to protect you on the way back to the inn, shifty looking characters slipping away into the night as he flexes his claws.

The barwoman is closing up, eyeing you and Aeglin as you walk in. "Odd ta see two skint travellers such as yourselves with an armed guard." She comments, winking at Aeglin slightly.

You drag the elf upstairs befoe she can be distracted again, finding Faijiela resting on her small bed, the camera resting on her bedside table in the gloomy light of her lone candle.

"Oh!" She jumps as you barge in, locking the door behind you. "H-how did it go?" She stammers. "They all hated it didn't they?"

You flash her the purse, nearly spilling over. "Your pay." You tell her, counting twenty six gold out for her. "And there's more to come if you want more work."

She flushes when Aeglin winks at her, drawing her blankets up to her chin. "Umm, thank you." She counts the coins, before stashing them under her mattress, as you gather your precious orb up, feeling its weight in your arms again. "There's plenty of room on the floor." She says, gesturing downwards at the cramped floorspace. "All the other rooms are booked up."

>Much appreciated.
>I have something to tell (....) first
>Write in

>>39028630
>I have to tell the barwoman first

Maybe she'd be interested to help with the guards tomorrow. We can use the guardhouse, if we have to, but the priest would ruin the shot if he came in.

>>39028630
>>I have something to tell (....) first

Okay some information. Church does not like this, I am going over there to talk about it.(Warn the bar woman about religious zealots).

Also I do owe some money to wizard school, and they sent troll after me, to mug me. Kinda sucks, but I get their money eventualy.

>>39028630
Waaaait, didn't we hide the camera? Did she use it while we were out?

>>39028703
We hid it under the mattress, which is where we just pulled it out from.

>>39028722
>the camera resting on her bedside table in the gloomy light of her lone candle.

Try again.

>>39028695
We're clearly mocking the purist form of Love, anon.

Nice job with the goddesses of lesbians, Chuckles.

>>39028630
>Much appreciated.

>>39028695
this

You gulp, resting back against the wall, "I have some information I need to share with you two first. Faijiela, the local bishop seems to be against us. I'll have to talk to some people about this. And just so the both of you know... I am in an incredible amount of debt to the Wizards University in the Faeglil Collective. Enough that they keep sending men after me to try and collect on my debts..../ kill me. But you two should be fine."

Aeglin just starts laughing in her throat at that, clapping her hands in amusement of your situation, Faijiela gasping and peering at the door in fear.

"Like I said. You two should be fine." You reassure her. And shut up elf." You add, kicking Aeglin in the ankle slightly. "Now if you two would excuse me." You set the purse and orb down, before picking the purse back up, handing Aeglin her share, then telling Faijiela to protect it, just in case. "I have to talk too....

>The bishop
>Josie the barkeep

>>39028999
>Josie the Barkeep
She should know about it, and it'll give the bishop time to cool off.

>>39028999
>>The bishop

Seriously.

>>39028999
The Barkeep, but only if we can talk to the bishop after.

>>39029049
Seconding

>Josie the barkeep

"The barmaid, Josie-"

"She's the owner, watch what you say around her." Faijiela warns, "The men in town all call her a succubus, because she steals mens hearts with a flick of her hair." Aeglin grins at that, tapping her chin in what probably amounts to thought for her.

"Right." You tell them, "Then after that, I'll be out. I have to talk to the bishop. See if I can stop him calling a fervent religious horde down on us."

Aeglin's back straightens, as you head out the door, down to the empty taproom, taking a stool at the bar, which Josie is currently cleaning.

"Ah, the poor spod!" She greets with a grin, "As I recall, you couldn't even afford a beer earlier." She brushes a finger over a cask, the movement showing off her sun browned cleavage, "So why're you bothering me while I clean?"

"As it stands, I don't care for the taste of beer. Poisonous stuff, rots the mind." You tell her.

She tilts her head back and lets a laugh out through her plump lips, "Well then, you're in the wrong place lad. Cos all we serve here is piss, piss and more piss. Mostly not literally, as long as we actually get apples in for the cider." She adds, leaning over the bar, her white blouse loose on her. "But I don't think that's what you're here to talk to me about. Now is it?"

>Write in

>>39029196
Why are we talking to barkeep again?

Go to bishop, convince him to not make us his altar boy.

>>39029196
"Well, a few things..." Explain what we did with the elves, how we went to the guards, the Bishop's visit, and now how the Guards want to have another go.

>>39029231
To convince her to star in a movie, after losing a vote don't then come in and try to change it.

>>39029196
Explain that we're in the moving pictures business, ask if there's a room we can rent (and we can pay for it this time) that's large enough to act as a studio tomorrow night, and ask if the bishop of one of the churches (describe him) is dangerous to cross.

>>39029235
Remember that we promised the bar maid the we would not to tell Josie about her.

>>39029301
Ah, right. Well, we can say what we did, just now who was involved. "They wish to remain anonymous."

"Well, there's a few things I have too... discuss with you. One businessman to another. You see, I have a device that lets me record moving pictures, then project them at a later date. I personally came up with the idea to sell recordings of... let's say intimate situations. Having already released one such recording at the guardhouse earlier tonight, I raked in over one hundred gold, from roughly an hour's total work."

Josie's brows raise curiously, a coy grin spreading across her face. "I'm listening."

"Well, I wish to use my money to rent a room tomorrow night, to record another similar situation."

Josie puffs her cheek out, leaning over the bar more, "This sounds like a reasonable plan. I get to technically run a brothel, and the mayor can't do shit all to me, as you're a separate business." She grins, holding a hand out, "Here's a deal. I take...." She counts on her fingers, "Fifteen percent of your profits, and you can stay here free of charge for as long as you keep selling. Make it twenty and you can eat for free too. Might even get summa that fancy wine in, that you wizard types all seem to stain your robes over."

>Deal.
>Write in

>>39029432
Make it 15% including food and drink, and we'll put on live shows of our performances, say, once a week, to bring in more people, who will then buy more drinks.

>>39029491
This

also, I'm new to the thread. Is there a pastebin or an archive?

>>39029540
There was only one thread before this. Just search for Magic Cameraman Quest on archive.moe.

>>39029491
This seems good
>>39029540
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38627009/

>>39029432
>Write in
Before agreeing to it, ask about the threat of the church.

>>39029432
>>39029491
Supporting this, add in we already have a booking with the Guard Captain and several of her guardsmen. Also ask about whether or not we should worry about the bishop.

"Make it fifteen percent, BUT, we'll put on live shows here. Draw in a crowd that will be more likely to drink? Maybe put some girls out that will... imply things if your patrons get drunker?"

Josie cackles at that, "Ha, fake prostitution. I like the way you think." She clasps your hand and shakes it. "Deal."

You nod, examining a ring in the rough cut wood of the bar, trying to discern if it's natural or from years of cups being placed down on it. "I have more questions though...." Josie glances up, "This town's bishop... he barged in at the guardhouse, mid performance, now I believe he might have a vendetta against me. Is he.... a threat?"

Josie scoffs. "That old windbag? Hells no! He's a priest to the goddess of fertility, it's not like he's going to come riding in summing war seraphs down upon you or anything. He's sword to a god that couldn't give a single shite about him. Here's the real funny part, see? Old codger's arrows don't hit their mark."

You blink, "Is that metaphor supposed to mean something?" You ask.

Josie rolls her eyes, "Right, foreigner, it means...." She makes a violent jerking motion into your face, "That he's not equipped for child bearing. Some goddess he's serving, neh?" She finishes, picking up a glass and cleaning it with her filthy rag, tossing her jet black hair off her face with a shake of her head.

You drum your fingers on the table, deep in thought.

>What do?

>>39029770
"He's..." Suppress laughter. "Damn, no wonder he's such a shit about it...still, if I try to make a proper business outta it, he could prove problematic. Maybe I'll do some less, ah, graphic shows for him, calm him down a bit."

>>39029770
>Go to bishop
talk this out. Even if he is not taken seriously, he is still representative of crazy organization.

>>39029862
This. We can bounce the 'Religious instruction' video idea off her.

>>39029770
The priest of a goddess of fertility.
Railing against sex and reproduction.
....maybe we should go above his head?

>>39029920

The idea for him is that sex is sacred, and is being mocked by all this non-reproductive sex. There certainly wasnt any love in that guardhouse.

I wonder of we could work an angle - film a loving, married couple in the throes of what is, in his mind, holy passion, and offer it to him as a tithe. All the better if we could talk about capturing the act of conception to be remembered - viewing the beginning of a life.

>>39030031
Oh there was plenty of love.

Love of the booty

"He's?" You pause to stop a snort rising in your throat. "Damn, no wonder he's such a bastart about it. Still, if I try to make a proper business out of this, he could prove.... problematic to me. Perhaps the live shows we put on could be... less explicit? More about the implication of the act, then the act itself?"

Josie frowns at that, "I don't see the point, he's a preacher who's god ignores him!"

You raise placating hands, "Okay, yes, but he could still be an issue down the line. I had people walk out of my demonstration earlier on religious grounds."

Josie shrugs, "Fine. But no more altercations to the deal, understood?" She holds out her hand, and you shake it again, only for Josie to whip a dagger out from under the bar with her free hand, pressing it under the tip of your chin. "And Don't. Try to fuck me over. Understood?"

You start to nod, before realising Josie won't move the blade. You're forced to crane your head back to gasp out; "Y-yes, understood."

Josie nods, slipping the blade up her voluminous sleeve, presumably into a hidden sheath. "Good. Now piss off, this bar ain't cleaning itself, and I have to be up before the sun to bake bread."

You scrape your stool backwards, turning towards

>The stairs; you need to rest
>The door; you should talk to the priest

Well, hope you're all happy, we annoyed her to appease some jackass who probably still won't like us whatever we do for him.

>>39030063
>The stairs
Really...he's not that big of an issue, I don't think.

>>39030063
>The stairs; you need to rest

>>39030063
>The stairs; you need to rest

>>39030063
>>The door; you should talk to the priest


>>39030082
You really think so? He call his superiors, and turn his church goers against us. It snowballs from there.
On other hand, if we convince him, we get most of the religious levers as clients.

>>39030082
Nah, I think once again /tg/ shadowruns are blowing his threat way out of proportion.

>>39030121
See >>39030139

>>39030063
>The door; you should talk to the priest
we don't need anything else coming around to bite us, we already have debts to pay.

>>39030121
>He call his superiors, and turn his church goers against us.
His superiors think he's a joke, and so do his church goers, if he even has a church, since his own god has disowned him.

>>39030063
>The stairs; you need to rest
Fuck that priest, don't know why we're working so hard to get his wrinkly cock in our mouth.

>>39030139
>>39030155
>Lets ignore religious issue, after it's interfered with our business 2 times in single day.

Do you even read the quest?

Maybe talking to bishop is not the best plan, but ignoring it will make it worse.

>>39030160
If we film him with his wrinkly cock in a mouth, he won't be able to say shit.

>>39030185
In what way is it interfering? A few people left, a lot more stayed, and the bishop didn't achieve anything.

We have a massive market of people who want our products, and you want to start screwing with that market to appease the few people who don't.

>>39030210
We don't need to edit our product. Just make alternate versions and convince him.

Talking to him=/= sucking dick and censoring ourselves.

>>39030233
We already apparently suggested toning down our shows to not make him mad, so we're already censoring ourselves.

>>39030250
I don't get why.Seems stupid.

>>39030250
Waah waah, we don't get a bukkake on our second product.

>>39030266
Excellent rebuttal.

>>39030063

I'd see if we could talk to the priest, and try to make him feel superior. Make it clear to him that the guards don't understand what it is you're doing. To them, it's titillation. But you're not recording sex...

What your recording is time. A moment, captured in perfect clarity, to be remembered or reviewed. What that moment is depends on the person buying, be at a moment of religious ecstasy, the smile of a dearly departed loved one, a child's first steps, a feast of friends and good cheer, anything.

You fear for your life however, and in order to pay your debts, you must sell to those who would buy. You would gladly capture moments of any kind that any buyer would value, and only hope to be able to make a living while practicing your art, just as any painter or sculptor does.

stairs it is

>>39030317
This explanation is beautiful, and if we pitch this to someone like this we should.
Athough, I doubt we'll have a chance anytime soon.

>>39030391

If anyone wants to distill that down any further to an elevator pitch, wr could work with it. Its a bit wordy as is.

You head for the stairs, confident in the knowledge that the bishop is of little importance. Turning into the stairwell, you bump into someone, Aeglin, pressed flat against the wall, you go reeling, stumbling towards the stairs, you trip off the bottom one, falling face first, as the wood rushes up to meet you, you wince in expectation of pain and-

"Owoowoowowowowowowow!" You whine, feeling a had tugging in your hair, as your slowly pulled back upright, the elfs fingers locked in the knots of your hair, as she picks you up.

"Whach'ere ya goin." She tells you, as she pulls you back on your feet, having trouble disentangling herself from you.

"Why were you in the stairwell?" You ask, wincing as she savagely tugs at a knot that won't come loose.

She shrugs, "I'unno, reasons. Weren' choo gone talk to that priestly dick?" She asks right back.

You shake your head, both as a 'no' and finally managing to break loose of her hand. "Not bothering. Apparently he's a windbag, nothing but an old man who's god ignores him. Like most gods really."

Aeglin smirks at that, "Not the religious sort then?" She asks. wiping the dirt from your hair off her hand. "Didn't your parents raise ya right?"

That tiny part of your brain that says you always have to correct people briefly chimes in, "Well.... parent. Besides, the gods never did anything for me." You figure, "Other than give me the urge to focus on a school of magic that's put me thousands in debt."

Aeglin nods her head non committally, "If ya say so. Wait, whacha mean parent? As in.. singular?"

You shrug, it's not a story you like talking about much. "My fathermother was a wizard too, decided one day that he was just going to MAKE a baby out of thin air, same makeup as him. Like a mini him. Crazy old coot."

Aeglin looks confused for a second, before taking off up the stairs, shaking her head. "Feckin wizards." She sighs.

>Wait, WHY were you down here?
>Let her go

>>39030599
>Wait, WHY were you down here?

>>39030599
>Wait, WHY were you down here?

>>39030599
>Wait, WHY were you down here?

You run up the stairs after her, "Wait, why were you down here?" You demand, stepping in her way.

Aeglin just rolls her eyes, "Cos I'm a bluddy demon tryin to stop you from teaming up with a priest." She tells you with a laugh, "Can we go get some rest now?"

You try to block her, but she brushes right past you, "Aeglin!" You shout after her, only for Josie to appear at the foot of the stairs, telling you to shut the fuck up. "Aeglin!" You hiss, following her down the hallway.

She just smiles smugly at you, before entering the red headed elfs' room, climbing under the blankets with the sleeping woman, leaving you with the cold wooden floor.

You try to bicker with her for a few minutes, but she resolutely ignores you, falling into a deep sleep, even as you rant at her.

You huff, and settle down on the floor, trying to eke warmth out of your overworn robe, promising yourself that you'll be living in luxury, once your job with the orc woman pays off.

Aeglin's gone when you wake up, Faijiela shaking you awake. "She went out into town, said she was going to blow all her money in one day." The red head tells you, "That, and she promised to buy me shoes." She adds, drumming her bare feet on the floor, "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do." She opens the door and quickly leaves, leaving you sore and cold on the floor still.

Groaning, you take your still fat purse and decide to...

>Track down that bloody elf
>Go buy a new robe
>Other

>>39030862
>Go buy a new robe

>>39030862
>Go buy a new robe

>>39030862
>Go buy a new robe
got to dress for success.

>>39030862
>Go buy a new elf

>>39030862
You guys do realize she's not joking about the demon part, right?

>>39031063
The thought had crossed my mind.

Lets buy a new robe, and keep to public areas. Maybe specifically not a robe, now that I think about it. Some simple clothes, the kind of thing that would help us blend in. we're certainly not trying to be spotted by knee breaking trolls.

You head into the market section of town, finding a small tailors shop. The dwarf behind the desk looks up expectantly at you,his beard neatly tied in a knot and thrown over his shoulder as he works.

"Feckin wizard, eh?" He asks, gods that accent is starting to grind on you, but you nod all the same. The dwarf sighs, reaching back to a roll of star printed cloth, the rest of it a deep inky black blue. "Alright, what're ya lookin for then?"

>Cheap and practical for now (5 coins)
>Grand and stately, you can afford it now (25 coins)
>Hardy, regular road clothes (11 coins)
>Casual street clothes (8 coins)

>>39031063
It would explain why orgies spontaneously break out around her, I'm assuming that a town's entire guard contingent deciding to get into a big pile and start fucking isn't really normal.

>>39031108
Lets get some makeup, and possibly hair paint too, if we can find it.

Makeover time!
Maybe a haircut/extensions.

>>39031149
>Hardy, regular road clothes (11 coins)
Wouldn't hurt, we can buy the fancy robes that scream "arcane lord of porn!" later.

>>39031149
>Hardy, regular road clothes

>>39031149
>>Cheap and practical for now (5 coins)

We probably gonna need to change the clothes again when the troll finds us.

>>39031149
>Hardy, regular road clothes (11 coins)

>>39031149
>Hardy, regular road clothes (11 coins)

>>39031178
I'm sure he knows where we are, he's just looking for a good time to come and troll us.

Hint: the troll's name is Chuckles

>>39031149

>Cheap and practical for now (5 coins)
>Hardy, regular road clothes (11 coins

Both. We can afford it now.

>>39031153
Also maybe we can get makeup artist for the orgy? Offer some professional(-ish) ball/pussy shaving, and stain proof face makeup?

Maybe some lingerie too?

You change your mind, shaking your hands, "No, no robe. Just give me something plain and simple, which can survive hitting the road."

The dwarf raises an eyebrow at that, but shrugs, taking your coin. He quickly runs about you, taking measurements, then scurrying back behind his bench. "Mmmf. Come back here in an hour. Should have something for ya."

That same lupine guardsman from last night walks past you in the street, pushing something into your hand, walking away without a word. You look down as he struts off, a small collection of pebbles have been left in your hand, some of them stic-

You drop them on the ground, retching with disgust, before kicking them away, they skitter across the road, to a building, that from a guess, you'd say would be a church, given all the stained glass and amulets about it.

You have a whole thirty six gold to your name still, you should

>Buy lumber for a more sturdy wand
>Get some good road shoes to complete your look
>Gather pebbles for storage tonight
>Check out this church

>>39031319

Remember that pubic shaving wasn't an attractive cultural trope until the past 30 years or so, and leg shaving wasnt a thing until the nylon shortage during the Second World War made women stockings impractical to afford.

If we wants to make things a little bit more interesting, we need to find some dwarves. Some Oglaf dwarves. At this point in sort-of history, there are no tropes we have to top. We are pioneers.

>>39031351
Leave the gold equivalent of thirty silver on the steps of the church.

>>39031351
>>Check out this church

We should at least try to make nice with the guy.

Pick up any good pebbles we see on the way too.

>>39031351
>Gather pebbles for storage tonight

>>39031351
The top three.

Hit the lumber first, grab some shoes after, then gather up the clothes. We can find pebbles on the way back from the clothes store.

>>39031351
>Gather pebbles for storage tonight
>Check out this church

>>39031421
This.

Also, if we are going to be pornomancers, maybe a sex toy wand. Might as well keep to a theme.

You strut across the road, scooping up a handful of pebbles along the way, but there's not much to find in the bricked street, the paving looks recent, so the bricks are still mostly intact.

You let yourself in through the gates, walking up the stairs to the dark oakwood doors. You pause to knock, and a young voice bids you to enter. You step inside, walking between the pews, looking about. The sun shines in through the stained glass, lighting up carvings of bountiful harvest, rabbits, and mothers, surrounded by children. High above, is the curved sign of Feyin, an egg, with intricate circles carved into it, held in the hands of a faceless woman.

"Can I help you?" A breathy voice sounds out behind you. You turn, to find a blonde woman, watching you with her head tilted to one side curiously, draped in a parish robe. "Are you looking for the bishop?" She asks, crossing her arms just under her chest.

>"Yes actually."
>"Have you ever considered a career outside the church?"
>"I'll be going, just taking a look."

>>39031621
>>"Yes actually." He was screaming about sins and stuff, and I would like to clear up some misunderstandings of his.
give her the
>>39030317
Speech.

Maybe ask about her religion first.

>>39031692
This. Be respectful of thwir faith, apologetic to the bishop.

Guesture to the paintings, sculptures, and stained glass if you must, and suggest that the artists who contributed those has probably also worked on les holy arts, simply to make a living while still plying their craft.

>>39031621

When we get a chance, we should work out a deal with a mason, get his tailings and splinters for.cheap.

>>39031621
>Tell her we're looking for the person in charge of this church's congregation. Is that the bishop we were told about?

>>39031621
>"Yes actually

"Yes. Actually, he was screaming about sin too me yesterday, and I simply wished to clear up any misgivings he might have."

The young woman pauses for a second, "Wait... are you the.... the pervert?" She asks, eyes going wide, as she backs away.

"Not a pervert! No." You insist, merely someone who was forced to do anything they could to make money in a desperate moment is all."

Her lips quiver, as you gesture about, "Was it not Saint Elhara herself, who disguised herself as a prostiture, in order to free the slaves from the king of Certa?" You ask, "She had to do many an act that Feyin would deem unholy, in order to do good, right?"

The woman takes a step closer now. "So... what you're doing is holy?" She asks, a small smile spreading across her face now.

"Ramona! Get away from this sinner!" Yelps an elderly voice, the same bishop from last night coming limping out of a back room. "He is a dark man, with dark intentions."

"But-"

He gets between you and the woman, throwing his hands out wide, a staff in one hand, "Back BEAST! Feyin repels you!"

You take several steps back, making calming gestures at him. "Look! All I wanted was to offer my perspective." The priest's face fills with contempt, but he says nothing, "The guards don't understand the purpose of what I do, truly. To them, it's base tittilation, but what I do isn't just record the act of sex."

They both gasp at the word, the priest face going red again.

"Woah, hold on. All I'm saying is, I create a recording of time. I take a few moments of time, and capture them in perfect clarity, preserving them. It need not be just that, I can record whatever I may wish. A moment of religious breakthrough, a feast between friends, the birth of a smiling babe. I only recorded those acts out of desperation! A quick way to make money, because I knew it would sell. I would gladly jump at any chance to make money off my skill, much like any painter- or sculptor. Surely you understand."

(cont)

The priest shakes his head, "That may be true, /filth/! You may have acted only out of self interest and preservation, but that doesn't change the fact that you were encouraging, revelling in AND capitalising on purposeless fornication, affronting MY god, and now you come in here, my own holy repsite, and tell me that I should forgive you?" He points the staff at you threateningly. "Be gone, peddler of filth. I will not deal with any tainted as you are. May Feyin curse you with no heirs!"

"But, your holiness, what of Saint Elhara?" The woman asks him, as he starts ushering her away.

The bishop pauses, turning back to you. "You compare yourself to a saint in this girls eyes?" He mutters, voice dripping with contempt. "Get out of my church."

He starts ushering her towards a back room again, shutting them both inside, a lock clicking shut.

"That wen' well." says a familiar voice.

You turn, finding Aeglin resting on the pew behind you and to your left, her legs kicked up over the pew in front of her. "You wan' go piss off the coonts down in Shulvara next? Here the priests there all where hats tall'r th'n they are."

>What do?

>>39032092
Well, the bishop may not be buying it, but we should try to convince that woman again later.

Convince her to star in a future production, that is.

For now, I guess we've done enough damage for one day, let's get back to the tavern and get to planning for our next picture.

>>39032092

That went about as well as it could have with that dickbag. As one of the people who voted for us coming here, I say let's be done with him. If we wanted to, we could steal much of his congregation out from under him, by creating images of things they would find tasteful. The Sun light coming through their church window for instance. Maybe even come to a service, record it, and give the nun several copies on the house, to show the potential.

I.. I just realized I'm talking about social cuckoldry. I'm planning to show his congregation that we are the better man, and emotionally fuck them right in front of him.

>>39032136
Kinky.

Well, personally I think we should convince that woman from the church to star in a tasteful pro-fertility pro-Feyin picture, in which she has loving intercourse with her partner for the purpose of procreation.

>>39032092
"I do what I need to to survive. Last thing I want is a church-wide sanction against my device."

>>39032092
"That's enough for today. Let's not start making moving pictures about nuns getting gangbanged by orcish devil-worshippers... yet."

>>39032136
Maybe next church day we could record his sermon, and sell it to attendees who were particularly moved, or to some of the slobs who overslept and missed the sermon.

>>39032136
>I'm planning to show his congregation that we are the better man, and emotionally fuck them right in front of him.

So he sees us coming out of the house of some sweet little old lady from his congregation, and then we look him square in the eye and thank her for the lovely tea and cake?

>>39032251

And we record it.

Sweet mother of fuck yes.

"Well. We should probably get out of here, before he enacts some church wide ban on my device." you figure, "Although, this has given me some ideas."

Aeglin nods, standing, "Do they involve tha' lit'le church mouse he has?" You shrug non committally, "Mmm, well either let's get outta here. Place makes me skin crawl." She shivers as she looks up at the sign of Feyin, scraping her fingers along the carving of a rabbit.

Stepping out into the sun, you stop by to pick up your clothes from the dwarf, selling your tattered robe back for a single coin.

"Better get to work. On those pebbles." Aeglin comments, looking upwards, "Only so many hours in a day, and those guards said they'd head over after the shift change."

You take off at the closest you can make it to a sprint, after two days without food, leaving a mental note to gorge yourself when have time.

Scavenging in the masons yard once more, you stay more stealthy this time, staying out of view of his window, in what little time you had left, you managed to gather up

>Roll D200

Rolled 33 (1d200)

>>39032435

>>39032117
This, btw.

Maybe Askar bodyguard what kind of sexual shenanigans she would prefer to get up to?

Rolled 141 (1d200)

>>39032435

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>39032435
We should eat.

also
We should totally act like saint (ignoring the sex part) from now on. Heal little Timmy, help old ladies, preach for better life (or something non-conflicting/supporting the teachings of the churches.)

Rolled 106 (1d200)

>>39032435
Crazy times with a country demon hoe

>>39032435

>>39032482
I dunno, that could scare away our customers. I would say don't go overboard, but maybe start doing a little bit of charitable work on the side, gives us a good shield.

>>39032435
While we work, ask about her past. Specifically, who sent her?

>>39032528
We've claimed to be an artist just paying the bills, so lets play the part.

Which is easy, because its true.

We cant exactly advertise where we are, because of trol boy, but we should start offering our services for free to a few people, outside of filming sex, to start building up word of mouth.

filming a sermon, maybe not his Specifically, would be a good place to start. so would filming a good night at a tavern, or a Bard's performance.

>>39032528
Wee should come up with a story how are we rising money to let people see distant lands, and possibly help with medical stuff.

We just need mind mage to convert the recordings to memory, and we can let blind man see, eventually.

Hawing the lustful give you money, so you can eventually cure blindness is a noble goal, and being shunned by church for it?
This is a gold mine for saintly back story.

Breaking your nails too all hells, you manage to line yours and Aeglin's pockets with a hundred and forty one pebbles. "Do you have any idea how much this will make us Aeglin?" You ask, as the mason finally catches on, just as you jump the fence.

She shrugs, "I'unno. Math's for goody twoshoes."

You roll your eyes, "If we sell all of these at our current rate, let alone an increase, we'll have two hundred and eighty two gold."

A grin cracks out across her face, "We gonna be rich, neh?"

You drag her down an alley, losing the mason, as he runs past. "Well, once we take out everyone's pay, and what I'll owe Josie for room and board, we should still have a very comfortable amount, yes!"

She whoops, jumping in the air, and sending a whole pile of pebbles skittering out of her pockets, which she desperately scrabbles back up. "Right, back to the inn then."

You wave to Josie, who leads you up to a much larger room then Faijiela's. One might even call it a suite, at a stretch. The barowner shoves you in with a pat on your skeletal rear. "Red heads working tonight. Don't bother her." She tells you, before shutting the door.

Aeglin immediately struts over to the bed, claiming it as hers, "You can have the couch." She tells you, "I doubt you'll want this 'un it'll be all... sticky."

A couch is better than the floor, you figure.

You quickly fetch the orb from Faijiela's room, bringing it down to this one. You draw the curtains and light the lamps, the room looking much more welcoming than the servant girls.

The town clock chimes in the distance, "Ah, 'ere's the guard shift 'otatin'." Aeglin says, kicking her shoes off. "This should be fun." She winks at you. "Fuck workin with that priest, right? This is way bet'er."

You figure you have a few minutes, before any of the guards show up, Josie said she's show them in here, so

>what do?

>>39032727

Get food, if there's time. Also, make sure that the barmaid didnt mess with the orb whem she took it out from where we hid it last time... Or if she filmed anything on her own.

>>39032727
Check if someone has messed with device/ if its damaged. Also get food.

>>39032727
>Fuck workin with that priest, right? This is way bet'er.
Is she literally a demon?


>Get the place ready for the shoot.

>>39032781
This.

>>39032727
Check the orb and that it's in working order, and get some pitchers of ale with cups to get things started with our paying customers.

>>39032727
>"I'm still gonna work with him. Or at him. Might not be as profitable, but it'll show there's more to my work than base debauchery."

>>39032727
She's totally a demon.

You pick the orb up, checking it for flaws or damages, even taking a test recording, but it seems perfectly fine, the memory is blank, and it's all in perfect working order. "You... do whatever it is you do to warm up." You tell Aeglin, heading for the door. "I need to take Josie up on our deal, before I starve."

The barwoman dishes up a plate of.... something, swimming in gravy, but it's better than living off of field mushrooms and mould for the last few weeks, you tear into it, trying to avoid spilling it down your brand new clothes, as you rip flesh from bone, feeling your gut expand in satisfaction, as you start working on the onions now.

A small group of guards spills in, the orc woman leading the way, four or five at the most. The orc nods to you, as Josie tells them the room. "Just don't get started without me!" You shout after their back. You quickly set about devouring the last of your meal, knowing that with Aeglin in the room, they won't be following that order for long. Fucking elves.

Just as you finish up your plate, sliding it towards Josie, another person in a guard uniform walks up to the bar. "Yes, hi, hello." She says, words clipped. "I would like to know where all the fellow guards are going for the activity?"

Josie raises an eyebrow at the woman, and you look up at her too, the quivering pouty lips and button nose look familiar, but you don't recognise her until she opens her eyes; deep watery blue. You quickly then spot under her helmet, straight locks of straw blonde hair. "Oh gods." you groan, as the parish girl glances at you. "They're going to declare a crusade on me at this rate."

>End of Part 2

>>39033234
Can't stop the porn train.

Thanks for the thread, chuckles.

>>39033140
Or militant atheist?

>>39033286
So we need to check her for horns and fedoras.

>>39033301
What if all militant atheists are demons, and wear fedoras, to cower up the horns.

Well no sleep for me tonight.

>>39033234
threads over, thanks for it Chuckles

Time to shitpost, to discover empirically best girl http://strawpoll.me/4001351

>>39033234
Chuckles, be honest, were you expecting us to become a saint due to directing porn?

>>39033625
>Through porn, Unity.

>>39033625
i have no expectations
or do I?

>>39033234
Thanks for the thread, Chuckles. Oh, and tell Mrs. Chuckles that she's awesome for posting that paste of your proposal, I'm stealing that idea if I can.

>>39033741
ill tell her shes a faggot