The weeks following your broadcasted Declaration of War are a blur of activity. In the short hop over to rendezvous with the Biofleet, you learn all you can about smithing from Wormbag. He’s the shittiest teacher in the world, but somehow you feel all the more knowledgeable for your efforts when he and Lazerus leave to aid the Tyranids. The Biofleet itself seems to be doing well: a few Narvhals, a Hive Ship proper, and various brood ships besides. They’re even sporting a combination of Khornate colors and symbols along their hulls. You’re pretty sure that somewhere, someone is beating themselves to death over how heretical it is.In any case, the time since your pit stop is spent preparing for the confrontation with Helldrool. You don’t expect there to be any real issue but expectations are made to be broken. Especially since it seems a certain “prophecy” is starting to come to fruition.Welcome to Khornette Quest.
Twitter: @ELHMk1Normal Run Time: Once a week @ 8pm EST (GMT-5) (Watch Twitter)Archive Link (includes sup/tg/ & moe links, art & references, and other info): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZlPV-W2T9xDEzsSxYq8OLHnB7CKfB0eUAQyH4vj2lU8/edit?usp=sharingCinder’s Character Sheet:https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10H9COxlc2Qaqkx5DTaihQJHazhc-_KKIS-Aon-VxluA/edit?usp=sharingIf you’re a die-hard lover of canon, I suggest you turn away now. Like all things 40k, the gauntlet runs from “worshiping the printed word” to “over the top silliness.” Most of the time it’s somewhere in between. Others it swerves hard to one side and/or breaks this model entirely. You’ve been warned in advance.Alternatively, if you’re not at all familiar with canon or want more details on something, just ask!All rolls go against a specified characteristic in the style of Black Crusade. You’ll want to roll under the characteristic value in order to pass the check. The more degrees of success (every multiple of 10 counts as 1), the more awesome of a result. A 1 is a guaranteed success, and a 100 is a guaranteed failure. Best of three rolls when it’s called for, with a 1 or a 100 instantly taking precedence. If multiple characteristics are being rolled for each 1d100 counts for its respective test. Any rolls prior to the call for one and those not linking said post will be ignored.You may burn (i.e. gone forever) 10 infamy to completely reroll a check (i.e. three new 1d100). If you have above 10 infamy, you are allowed a single additional 1d100 roll for any check during a session. I’ve got a few things to go over before we start, mostly to clear up some confusion and answer some questions. We’ll maybe spend about 5-10 minutes on it before I start to drop the actual quest updates.Excessive meta/whining/waifu’ing/etc goes to another thread. Blatant Samefaggotry and overly lewd write-ins will be ignored.
So first off is Ignitrix’s Sock Puppet Show: http://pastebin.com/39gGGYHeYou should read it. Whether or not it’ll be more or less than 4-5 threads is entirely up to you all. Ideally, though, we’re going to start pushing towards an end of sorts. The April 1st session is not a hard stop but a goalpost for me personally. I’m going to try to run more often regardless so watch Twitter.Second is my attempt to nail down a set of rules for a quest-based Black Crusade. I may still opt to handwave this but I would like to involve the dice gods in the process somehow. In any case, give it a read and laugh at my piss poor rule-making skills:https://docs.google.com/document/d/19XQLnzMrgwvXi6P0RP-bILg5J70U_QF6EFvdZoEDAGY/edit?usp=sharingI suppose one option is to have someone go run a little wargame sidequest thing that handles the nitty gritty while this quest here remains solely on Cinder and crew. I’m not entirely sold on such an idea but you’re welcome to contact me through the usual channels if you’d be interested.Oh and a bit of funny for you before we start proper. Seems Cinder’s legacy carries on regardless of what setting and system she’s in. I can storytime about it later if you’d like. But first, you’ve got a Daemon Prince to meet.
“Let’s go over what we’ve learned.”Ignitrix spins in her chair and makes to hold up two sockpuppets. Before she can speak again, though, you wave her off. You know she’s doing it because she’s frustrated and wants to make sure you understand but there’s still a limit to how much you can be patronized. “I get it,” you say. “Helldrool’s an old friend that you’ve kept in fringe contact with over the centuries. He won’t remember ever having seen me because, to him, it never happened. But I still shouldn’t beat someone to death with their own skull in front of him as an introduction.”A sigh escapes the Lady of Change’s lips, “Yes. And if you don’t impress him we’re not going to be able to transition between the Screaming Vortex and the Eye of Terror. No other Black Crusade has ever had that sort of mobility before, so hopefully I don’t need to spell out how important it is.”It’s your turn to breathe noisily. “I think I’m pretty damn impressive, thank you very much.”“I never said you weren’t, sis.”Some time over the course of the past week or so, Ignitrix has started calling you that when it’s just the two of you around. “Sister.” Given the long-term goal and implications of such it makes sense. You haven’t returned the favor yet, though. To you she’s firmly stuck as “Iggy” until one or both of you actually ascends. Thankfully she’s more than understanding about it. She’s even offered to stop should it bother you but you’ve yet to say anything. (cont)
>>38773401In any case, you give her a silent shrug and sit back into the command throne on the bridge of the Obscenity Engine. There you wait for the ship to exit from the 13th Station of Passage into the Screaming Vortex proper. If your feathered Navigator did her job right you’ll even end up at Helldrool’s rendezvous point right on time. Until then you’ve got about an hour to kill. By Ignitrix’s estimates, anyways. >  Stay here and chat with her about the long term ascension plan>  Go visit the daughteru squad and see how the fight against the Orks is going>  Thumb through “The True Art of War.” (Int)>  Write in
>>38773430> Go visit the daughteru squad and see how the fight against the Orks is goingCheck in with Best Bug
>>38773430> Go visit the daughteru squad and see how the fight against the Orks is goingyay! even on an off day
>>38773430>>  Go visit the daughteru squad and see how the fight against the Orks is goingyes please!
 it is then. Writing...
>>38773686After reading the sockpuppet pastebin I almost feel sad for you QM... almost... now feed us our content or I'll whip ya!
>>38773430Well if you’re going to doddle for an hour you might as well see how things with the Biofleet are going. As you rise from your throne you nod at Ignitrix, “Back in a bit.”She just sort of shrugs and returns her attention to the multitude of displays in front of her. “Remember - about an hour.”Even then it’s not like you have to go that far to find Kaysis and Sytili. They’ve commandeered one of the briefing rooms and turned it into a walkable holomap of the Galaxy. Most of the information is delayed between reports from the Biofleet and whispers among the Warp, but for the most part it’s fairly accurate. When you walk in you note that it’s currently zoomed in on a spot in the Calixis Sector near Port Wander. The Eldar and Zoan Prime are clustered around it and comparing notes.“Sooooooo…” Both turn to look at you as you speak. “Any good news?”“Um… Kinda?” replies Kaysis. Now that you’re closer to her you realize that she’s changed her appearance. She’s still sporting several obvious Warp miasmas across her flesh (today she has little horns) but now there are bits of wraithbone mixed in. It’s as if she’s fused into that bit of armor Ignitrix took from Lucius and made it a part of her very being. Perhaps it’s some form of Eldar vanity. Regardless, she continues as if nothing’s amiss.“The Biofleet’s converted a pleasure world and a dead world thus far. They’ve started on an Agri one but they won’t finish by the time the Imperium starts knocking.” She motions at a little purple sector of space surrounding Fervious. Next to it are two yellow blobs and one green one. “To be fair,” hisses Sytili. “They may have to turn and face the Orkssss. That Waaagh! tore through Port Wander fassster than we thought.”“Maybe they went around it entirely?” you wonder aloud.“Perhapssss. It issss unlik-” The Tyranid tilts her head to the side, eyes glazing over. “There’ssss an update coming in…”>  Try out the BC rules realtime>  Handwave it for now
>>38773828I'm just glad that NotELH has an end planned, rather than just dropping it due to burnout, or lack of player interest.
>>38773979>>  Try out the BC rules realtime
>Khornette Quest is almost over
>>38773979> Try out the BC rules realtimeSure, lets test this thing out.
>>38773979>  Try out the BC rules realtimeTesting, Testing Get the bugs out
>>38773979> Try out the BC rules realtimekinda sux that the ending is within view but at least it will get a well threshed out and actually planned ending. Just throwing it out there that if you felt the need to give any of the side characters their own quests then it would be my pleasure to read and take part in it
>>38774031All good things must end anon... Look on the bright side, a quest with a beginning middle and end can be read and enjoyed by everyone, so well in fact that it can lapse on into immortality and inspire many future quests. oh fuck captcha: sergy... sergals confirmed?
Lemme just cobble together some quick stats and we'll try it out. I had some earlier but photoshop crashed. Yay.
Here’s the quick stat blocks for the actors in this little wargame:Orks:T1 (5, 25, 28)A (6, 35, 31)Imperium:T2 (5, 23, 30)T3 (8, 26, 26)T4 (7, 15, 17)Tyranids:B (10, 24, 24)C (9, 29, 29)I’ll handle the rolls for non-Tyranid actors. What I need from you all is the rolls for Fleets B and C. 4d100 should do (B’s FS & GS, C’s FS & GS). Same best of three applies as usual.
Rolled 97, 50, 75, 64 = 286 (4d100)>>38774372Biomass for the hive!
Rolled 80, 95, 18, 45 = 238 (4d100)>>38774372
Rolled 66, 89, 11, 31 = 197 (4d100)>>38774372BIOMASS FOR THE BIOMASS GOD!
Rolled 63, 5, 19, 6 = 93 (4d100)>>38774372
Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1 = 4 (4d1)>>38774372
Rolled 49, 46, 20, 7 = 122 (4d100)>>38774393>>38774394>>38774402Well let's see...B gets 66 and 50. C gets 11 and 31. Good job not sucking C.Now to roll for T3 and T4 myself...
>>38773253Alright, somethings been bugging me for a long time and I just have to say it now: how are those razor sharp teeth on the dragon head pauldron's not scratching the shit out of cinder's arms?
>>38774508Maybe they are, more blood for the blood god?
>>38774508could have something to do with warp flesh, just saiyan
>>38774508Who says they aren't? Blood for the blood god! Also, fast healing.
>>38774508Shes a khorne demon, and thats a skull... I'm pretty sure demons of khorne can integrate murder trophies into themselves with handwavium and warp fuckery. Also demons are basically like a child tried to draw human anatomy from memory with crayons... nothing actually makes any sense if you were to cut a demon open and by no means should one biologically function to begin with.
Rolled 6, 71, 73, 67 = 217 (4d100)>>38774435Alright so......The Forge World group gets 2 degrees of failure for each.The Hive World group gets 1 degree of failure and 1 degree of success.Fleet B gets 4 DoF and 2 DoF, C with 1 DoS and 1 DoF. In all that leads to Fleet B losing 2 health. Nothing else happens.Someone double check me.SO BASICALLY:>>38773979Sytili blinks twice. She seems offput by the information she's just received. "Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is the Biofleet incursion into the neighboring Hive World is going about as well I thought. We're at a stalemate with them. As for the Forge World..."You raise an eyebrow as she rolls her eyes. "Whichever Synapse is leading them is going to be replaced. They tried ramming the Hive Ship itself into the planet. You can imagine how that went.""I..." You don't know how to respond to that. "Are they still a thing?"Sytili huffs, "They figured out how stupid of an idea it was at the last minute. But not before taking some hits. Idiots."> 4d100 again, I'll roll now as well> The current stats are:> T3 (8, 26, 26)> T4 (7, 15, 17)> B (8, 24, 24)> C (9, 29, 29)> I may have to cut down on influence values. Yay playtesting!
Rolled 34, 36, 50, 78 = 198 (4d100)>>38774606MOAR biomass
Rolled 4, 74, 7, 54 = 139 (4d100)>>38774606>Muffled Yakkety Sax playing from the direction of the Forge World
Rolled 28, 16, 4, 26 = 74 (4d100)>>38774606Fire on B-25Lets sink there battle warpship
>>38774656>>38774658>>38774674Alright so a 4, a 16, a 4, and a 26. They did something!Actually a lot of something. That's decimation I believe. Let me double check.
>>38774710>>38774674>>38774710WOOT! I'M GOOD AT SPESS BATTLESHIP GAMES!
except this is how tyranids actually conduct their space combat
So yeah. That's Decimation on both accounts. Holy shit Biofleets. Good job getting your shit together.T3 loses 4 Influence and has its stats reduced.T4 though? Annihilated. +1 Tyranid territory.Back in a tick as I write that up thematically.
>>38774775wow, that was all three of my four dice rolls, suck it other dice rollers!
>>38774775nom nom nom
>>38774791Remember: The dice gods punish hubris.
>>38774852Except in Improveraizen quest.....The more cocky you are there the higher your rolls....
>>38774877Even dice gods love keikaku
>>38773306>I can storytime about it later if you’d likeSTORY TIEMS
Rolled 97, 58, 67, 1 = 223 (4d100)>>38774852Bitch please!
>>38773306I also would like Story Time.Sock Puppet Story Time would be best Story Time.
>>38774925you MIGHT have a point >>38774852
Rolled 72, 72, 93, 32 = 269 (4d100)>>38774606Kaysis puts a hand to her face to conceal her smile. “Don’t sell them short just yet. Take a look…” She motions at the map as the yellow blob surrounding the Hive Worlds shatters and is replaced by the purple one. “It seems my little acid tweaks to the Pyro-Acid batteries paid off. I told you they would!”“Ssssss… It sssstill doessss not excusssse russshing in like that.”“Isn’t that kind of how the Tyranids DO space combat though?” you ask.Sytili nods, “Yessss, but usssually one doesssn’t DRIVE THE HIVE SSSSHIP INTO THE PLANET.” She takes a deep breath then adds, “We have sssmaller ssshipsss desssigned for sssuch actionsss.”“I see.”> 4d100 again, unless you'd like C to nom nom B> T3 (6, 22, 22)> B (8, 24, 24)> C (15, 33, 33)
Rolled 74, 81, 4, 81 = 240 (4d100)>>38775022Forgive my hubris dice gods? Queers, they probably can't even read spoiler text
>>38775022Forgot my image.But holy shit T3. I'm p sure you ded.
Rolled 10, 48, 60, 8 = 126 (4d100)>>38775022
>>38775066shit, I'm about 75% sure they can read spoiler text...
Rolled 95, 90, 11, 56 = 252 (4d100)>>38775022Chow Time!
>>38775066>>38775103>>38775148A 10, 48, 4, and 8. Yeah T3 is biomass. We'll end our little space playtest there and move onto the rest of the stuff now. Writing...
>>38775148Wow, I suck.
>>38775241you suck worse than the guy that actually was harassing the dice gods.
>>38775148>>3877524111 is a good roll...
>>38775324True, but not as good as 4 >>38775066Even my good rolls are insufficient.I win at fail.
>>38775022All three of you stare at the remaining yellow blob as it’s pincered by two purple tendrils. In short order it pops like a balloon, gushing out purple “liquid” as it does.“See? All under control, Lily.”You raise an eyebrow at Kaysis. “Lily?”“Her nickname for me,” answers Sytili. “I don’t understand it either.”The Eldar’s smile increases at that, her entire expression one of mirth. You haven’t seen much of her but this is the happiest you’ve ever seen her. “It’s not that hard. Just break down your name. Plus it’s a lovely flower that Acerea introduced me to.”Sytili and you share a glance. It is a look of understanding and shared “pain.” In that moment you are sure that you picked your apprentice well. “Right…” you slowly mumble. “Well come get me if there’s any emergency or what not. I’m headed back up to the bridge…”Before you go, though, you turn and add, “See you later, Kaysis, Lily.”“IT’SSSS NOT LILY!”You try not to laugh and fail utterly. Poor Sytili.Soon you’re back on the bridge and in your throne. Ignitrix doesn’t even look up as you come in and settle. “Well?”“They’re doing about as well as can be expected for a fledgling fleet, I suppose.”“They tried ramming tactics against a Forge World, didn’t they?”Your loud exhale of a reply causes Ignitrix to laugh. “Yeah I thought they might. But good. Good. No news on the Necron or Eldar fronts, from what I can tell anyways.”“Great…”You glance at a nearby clock, one of many. The excursion took maybe about 45 minutes. Funny how time flies. That just leaves 15, give or take, before you get to actually do something yourself.>  See if you can’t sneak in a quick conversation about the future with Ignitrix>  Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be time
>>38775389You belong in the guard m8.
>>38775424>Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be time
>>38775424>>  Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be time
>>38775424>  Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be time
>>38775424> Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be time
>>38775440As an added bonus, I'm crap at tactics too.So of course I play guard.
huh, I know that guardsman are ready to fight heretics, they're ready to fight tyranids, but HERETICAL tyranids? Thats gotta be extra shitty for em!
>>38775424>>  Hold off on what could be a heavy topic for when you know there will be timeyou can always talk about the future in the future
>>38775555nice quadruples by the way
>>38775586well shit, chances are they'll never happen again, and I'll just look like an ass forever more... Thanks though anon.
 it is. Writing...Meanwhile, what did you think about that quick playtest? I know it wasn't extensive by any means but would it be something that could work if the QM had a quick way of handling it? I'm kinda on the fence about health/influence because, as shown, it can go all the way up to 10 points in a single turn.
>>38775638went alright and no system is perfect.
>>38775638you could set it up where the rolls give you symbolic points, and then adjust how many symbolic point it takes to shift between actual health/influence points, to shift from 0 to 1 influence takes 1 symbolic point 1to shift from 1 to 2 takes 2 points2 to 3 takes 3so on so forth or just increase the total range of influence points, but where is the fun in that I thought it went pretty decent overall though
>>38775638Admittedly, I'm not that smart, but it was a little difficult to follow.I think thats just a lack of user friendly termanology, though.
>>38775424Instead of trying to force conversation you opt to sit in silence. The next ten minutes pass without event. On the eleventh, warning klaxons begin to sound throughout the ship to signify your drop out of the Warp.“Ha,” says Ignitrix, obviously proud. “I got us here with five minutes to spa-”She’s cut off as the exterior view snaps back to realspace. And it’s no wonder why. You’ve just arrived among the smouldering wreckage of several starships. The same klaxons from before blare a different tune as countless collision warnings flare up along the hull. Around you the Engine rocks violently and shudders as multiple void shields, tractors, and missiles flare out to prevent debris from impacting it. “What in the ever loving WARP?” you shout over the din. “Do NOT tell me we just flew into a trap, Ignitrix!”“I’m not sure,” she shouts back. “But I’m not detecting any immediate weapon bursts!”The bumpy ride lasts for a minute or so longer before everything settles down. Right on cue, Kaysis, Sytili, and Acerea come rushing onto the bridge.“What…?” they ask in unison.Ignitrix flicks a talon at the nearby crew stations. “No idea. Get to scanning.”>  Help them out (Per)>  Turn your Vox to wideband and DEMAND that the one responsible show themselves>  Suggest to Ignitrix that she try and reach Helldrool with her mind (Iggy WP)>  Write inIt begins.jpg
>>38775814>  Suggest to Ignitrix that she try and reach Helldrool with her mind (Iggy WP)
>>38775814> Suggest to Ignitrix that she try and reach Helldrool with her mind (Iggy WP)
>>38775814> Suggest to Ignitrix that she try and reach Helldrool with her mind (Iggy WP)Get it together, birdy!
>>38775814>  Suggest to Ignitrix that she try and reach Helldrool with her mind (Iggy WP)>  Help them out (Per)
>>38775555>I know that guardsman are ready to fight heretics>guardsman are ready>guardsman>ready
1d100 vs 49 (69-20)There's a reason for the negative mod which you'll find out in short order. Maybe.
>>38776021>survives 19 hoursare you a coward or a heretic, WHICH ONE!
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>38776073Somebody please stop me!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>38776073
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>38776073
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>38776073
>>38776099>>38776101>>38776143Yeah you pass. Writing...
>>38775814As everyone gets to work, you leave your throne behind and walk over to Ignitrix’s chair. Her hands are moving even faster than they did when dealing with the Exterminatus bomb back on Ysai. She’s even biting her lip hard enough to draw blood. Poor thing.“Hey,” you say as you gently touch her shoulder. She whirls and looks at you anxiously. “Have you tried getting a hold of him with your mind yet?”“I…” Her mouth opens then closes. “No. No I should do that.” She turns back to the screen and adds as an afterthought, “Thanks. It’s pretty bad when YOU’RE the calm one.”You ruffle her hair then wait. Soon you’re hearing one side of a conversation:“Oh thank Tzeentch you’re safe. Where are you… Wait slow down. Who did what?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING THERE?!”You cough loudly to get her attention. By now everyone on the bridge is looking at her. “Uh… mind filling us in?”Remember how you once thought there was a limit to how far Ignitrix’s feathers could puff out? She somehow finds a way to surpass that. “Oh I’ll do you better than that. That son of a fucking…”Yeahhhhh she’s mad. Evidenced further by the fact she slams her console and brings up a video feed to parts unknown. You see the back of a set of red power armor at first, though the left arm is exposed to the air. No. It couldn’t be.The figure whirls and bellows, “CINDER MY GIRL. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”Khorne damn it. It’s Kharn.>  Tell him to fuck off back to Dad>  Inquire as to WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE>  Call him a piece of shit but otherwise keep it cool. Khornate cool.>  Tell Ignitrix to fire everything at him now, wherever he is.>  Write inFor extra effect, read Kharn's lines as Ghost Nappa
>>38776348>>  Inquire as to WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE>  Call him a piece of shit but otherwise keep it cool. Khornate cool.
>>38776348>  Inquire as to WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE
>>38776348>>  Call him a piece of shit but otherwise keep it cool. Khornate cool.>  Sign for Ignitrix to fire everything at him now, wherever he is.
>>38776348Aww shit Nigga!>  Inquire as to WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE
>>38776348> Inquire as to WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE
>>38776348>HEY SHITBAG HOW ARE YOU!>  Call him a piece of shit but otherwise keep it cool. Khornate cool.
 it is. Writing...Like Con'ree, he's fun to write.
>>38776631Kharn is a pretty cool guy
>>38776631We're gonna be talking back to him Khorenate style right? All shouting all the time? It's only polite....
>>38776713shouting and hitting things.
>>38776713Of course anon! After all wee have manners!
>>38776348You take a moment to prepare yourself for the ensuing battle of words that one calls a conversation between two Khornates. Then you start off by replying, “KHARN. I’M BETTER THAN YOU WILL BE IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. WHY ARE YOU HERE ANYWAYS?!”He proudly huffs through his helmet. “I WAS JUST WALKING ALONG, YOU KNOW, AND THEN I SAW THESE GUYS JUST SITTING AROUND. SO I THOUGHT, HEY, I SHOULD GO SAY HELLO! SO I DID. AND IT WAS GREAT.”To your right, Ignitrix audibly twitches. Before she can say anything, though, you shout back, “SO YOU AREN’T HERE ABOUT THE TOURNAMENT THING THEN?”His helmet tilts ever so slightly to the side. “I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU’RE ON ABOUT. BUT THAT REMINDS ME. I SORTA NEED TO KILL YOU AT SOME POINT. NO HARD FEELINGS, JUST WORD FROM THE BOSS MAN. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. CAN’T HAVE WEAKLINGS TAKE HIS THRONE AND ALL THAT.”This guy.>  WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFF>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.>  Remain calm and look to Ignitrix and the others for advice>  Write in
>>38776802>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.
>>38776802>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.>  WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFF
>>38776802>>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.
>>38776802>  WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFF>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.then >  Remain calm and look to Ignitrix and the others for advice
>>38776802>WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFF>>38776250maximum face punching
>>38776802>  WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFF>  LET’S SHARE A DRINK FIRST YOU PIECE OF SHIT. A DRINK OF BLOOD.
>>38776802 WELL GIVE ME HELLDROOL AND THEN YOU AND I CAN PUNCH EACH OTHERS FACES OFFBoss Fight GO!
khorne demons are suprisingly cordial with one another... they both know what the other wants and are more than happy to discuss with each other in there own language...
 I think has it. Writing...>>38777033Kharn's a cool guy like that.
>>38776802You fire back, “GREAT. THAT WILL SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF HAVING TO TRACK YOUR ASS DOWN LATER. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO FIRST?”“BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOME TYRANIDS?”“THAT... “ You glance back at Sytili and mouth wordlessly. She rolls her eyes and nods. “...SOUNDS LIKE A LOVELY IDEA. AND I HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME WITH ME.”Kharn roars with laughter, “WONDERFUL. YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER THERE OR WHAT?”>  Let him come onboard and pray the Engine can withstand you two going at it later>  Go to him instead>  Neutral meeting place
>>38777131>  Neutral meeting place
>>38777131>>  Let him come onboard and pray the Engine can withstand you two going at it laterBROSEPH
>>38777131> Neutral meeting place
>>38777131>>  Let him come onboard and pray the Engine can withstand you two going at it laterWhats the worst that can happen?
>>38777131>  Neutral meeting placeI DON'T NEED YOUR RAMPANT STUPIDITY BREAKING MY SHIP, I LIKE IT BEACUSE IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS
 has it. Writing...
>>38777131Ignitrix tugs at your arm, prompting you to look down at her. Her voice is icy cold, “Don’t you dare bring him here.”“Didn’t plan on it,” you whisper back. “Is there some little planetoid or something nearby we can use as a meeting spot?”She glances at her screens, grumbles for a moment, then nods. That’s all you need to know.“NO YOU BASTARD. I LIKE MY SHIP AND I DON’T NEED YOUR RAMPANT STUPIDITY DESTROYING IT. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO GET THE BLOODBATH TO JUST THE RIGHT VISCOSITY?”“YOU HAVE A FUCKING BLOODBATH? THAT’S AWESOME. WHEN I KILL YOU I WILL TOTALLY ENJOY USING IT.”“FAT CHANCE. BUT I’LL HAVE MY PET BIRD SEND ALONG SOME COORDINATES. MEET ME THERE IN AN HOUR WITH SOME PROPER ARMOR.”That gets another bellowing laugh from him before the screen just goes dark. You let out a very very long and detracted sigh as you turn around to face everyone at large. A look of confusion is on every face save Ignitrix’s, of which alternates between rage and forced calm.“Were you just…. flirting?” asks Acerea. It’s the most confused you’ve ever heard her be.>  Hard No.>  That’s how Khornates talk!>  Maybe?inb4
>>38777566>  You know what? I have no fucking clue.
>>38777566>  That’s how Khornates talk!and >>38777640
>>38777566>  Hard No.>  That’s how Khornates talk!
>>38777566>  That’s how Khornates talk!Honesty it's been a thing for so long I doubt anyone remembers why. Except maybe future you.
>>38777566>  That’s how Khornates talk!and why not >>38777640 also
>>38777566>  Maybe?
>>38777566>>  That’s how Khornates talk!>>  Maybe?what are these feels that im feeling
>>38777566> That’s how Khornates talk!Flirting? What am I, Pink?
>>38777566>  That’s how Khornates talk!
Kharn has some experience with romance, don't worry. He set Angron up on a date.
 with some >>38777640 I think.Writing...
>>38777566You have to stop and think about that one for a second. “You know what, I have no fucking clue. But that’s just how Khornates are supposed to talk to one another!”Sytili and Kaysis share a look that speaks volumes about their opinion of your sanity. Ignitrix huffs, while Acerea just sort of giggles. “I was just wondering, hun. I’ve never seen you that fired up before.”“Sure you have,” you protest.“I dunno~”A loud and pointed cough from Ignitrix stops this line of thinking thankfully. “So you’re going to go needlessly waste biomass and then kill one another. Great. Sounds like the perfect Khornate date.”“Jealous are we?” you tease.“NO.”She’s totally jealous. And it’s not even a date! You’re just going to kill someone with a little detour along the way to be a good sport! “I’ll make it up to you later, Iggy.”Her faces scrunches up into a pout as you ruffle her hair again. Meanwhile Sytili asks, “Sssso can I jusssst give you sssome Gauntssss or…?”>  Gaunts are fine>  Can you spare a Carnifex?>  Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?>  Just give me what you can spare, even if it’s just one ripper>  Write in
>>38778016> Just give me what you can spare, even if it’s just one ripper
>>38778016>Just give me what you can spare, even if it’s just one ripper
>>38778016>  Gaunts are fine>  Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?
>>38778016>>  Just give me what you can spare, even if it’s just one ripper
>>38778016>>  Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?
>>38778016>  Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?
>>38778016> Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?
>>38778016>  We're gunna tear it apart and beat each other with it either way. No sense wasting a Lictor when a couple of Gaunt-pillows will do. Those might last longer too.
>>38778016> Do we still have that one Lictor around that you hate?Darmok and Jelad at Tenagra!
 has it by a vote I think. Let me quickly scarf down some food and I'll get to writing. Should take about 10 minutes to do that first thing. In the meantime, you might want to think about how to handle a fight with Kharn.
>>38778303There's more than walking up to him and hitting him over and over again?
>>38778303GK bolter anyone?
>>38778303Well I have a strategy in mindKharn is a massive warrior of particularly immense stature. Surely if we were to attempt to rend him in some manner that would stress his body mass then we would cause immense amounts of damage.
>>38778418Are you insane, we only use that as a melee weapon... any other usage is unkhornelike
>>38778466exactly what he won't expect, and we've only ever used that for its intended purpose before, as a gun
By the way guys, with Khorne demons, we do not need to perma kill them, we just need to kill them once... unlike with other creatures, khorne demons usually respect feets of strength, if you can kill one in fair combat on his ground, he'll look up to you as his superior... He'll also train until he can best you and then do it as soon as possible but thats besides the point.
>>38778166Temba, his arms closed.
>>38778515One-Horn, his head smashed in.
>>38778655And speared.With his remaining horn.
>>38778655Ignatrix, her head unpatted, her feathers spread.
>>38778016You flash her a smile. One that hopefully says “I’m not crazy” and instead says “If what I say next is too dumb you can just say no.”“We still keep that one Lictor around that you hate, right? Might be a good chance to get rid of it.”Sytili pauses, considering your notion. “Yeah it’ssss sssssomewhere down on Deck… 12 sssstalking Con’Ree at the moment. Wait…”The Zoan Prime closes her eyes and shakes her head. “No it appearsssss Con’ree’ssss found it and isss in the processsss of beating it ssssensssselesssss for the umpteenth time. At firssssst I just thought Con’ree wasss good. But know I’m confident itsss genessss are poor. Take it. Pleasssse.”“As you wish…”You start to leave the bridge, only to be stopped by Ignitrix once again tugging at your arm. You turn to look and see a rather muted Bird staring back. “Don’t die, you big dumb red thing.”“Didn’t plan on it, Bird.”As promised, your shuttle lands on a floating rock amid the burning hulls some forty minutes later. Now that you’re able to look around with your own eyes as opposed to through sensors, you get the sense Helldrool’s fleet was hiding amongst an asteroid field. Though such rocks normally lack gravity and an atmosphere this one in particular has some of both. Maybe about 3/4ths of Terra’s, if you had to guess. Honestly you’re not surprised. You ARE in the Screaming Vortex after all. The rock could turn into a living breathing planet in seconds if it wanted to.Not that any of it matters. When you step out of the shuttle Kharn’s already waiting for you. His red power armor glinting from the light of some unknown source, he stands with his axe, Gorechild, buried in the ground before him.(cont)
>>38779051“SO YOU’RE EARLY,” he begins. “I LIKE IT WHEN THEY’RE EAGER. IT SHOWS SPIRIT! AND HONOR! GOD DAMN IS THAT GREAT.”After a moment’s pause to let you take that in, he adds, “SO WHERE ARE THESE TYRANIDS OF YOURS?”> This isn't you fighting him just yet before you wonder>  RIGHT HERE! (Throw a gaunt at him) (BS)>  Forcibly eject them from the shuttle (BSx2)>  Order them to come out (S)>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)>  Write in
>>38779085>>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)then>  Order them to come out (S)
>>38779085> RIGHT HERE!> SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT
>>38779085>>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)>  Forcibly eject them from the shuttle (BSx2)
>>38779085>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)>  Forcibly eject them from the shuttle (BSx2)
>>38779085> SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)Grip test time!We're so fucking macho.
>>38779085>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)Let's fight like Khornate gentlemen ... and deamonettes.>  Order them to come out (S)
>>38779085> SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)>  Order them to come out (S)
>>38779085>  SHAKE MY HAND FIRST YOU GIT (S)>  Order them to come out (S)
Rolled 62 (1d100)1d100 vs 52 for maximum handshaking.Try not to embarrass yourself as it IS an opposed roll.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>38779337rolling
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>38779337
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>38779337powerfist gooooo!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>38779337We got this in the bad.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>38779337GRRRRR! So macho!
>>38779358>>38779364>>38779367Good. You prove you're more macho than him. Writing...
>>38779085It only takes you a few strides to be face to face with the Champion of Khorne. You stare each other down, evaluating your soon-to-be opponent. “I THOUGHT WE MIGHT SHAKE HANDS FIRST. OR DO YOU JUST PRETEND TO BE HONORABLE?”You thrust out your left hand. He looks down at it and then meets it with his own unarmored one. As soon as the handshake starts you’re in a battle of strength and grip. You have to admit - he’s good. But you’re better. With a challenging growl, you tense your claws and send them digging into his flesh. And yet the handshake continues as blood starts to well up.“THAT IS A MIGHTY FINE GRIP YOU HAVE THERE.”“I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME OF YOURS.”A retaliatory squeeze from him is easily deflected. As a result he has to be the one to break contact first.“KHORNE DAMN IT. I WISH YOUR PREDECESSORS WERE HALF AS GOOD.”Predecessors?“WHAT ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT NOW?”He shakes his hand before placing it back on the pommel of his axe, blood streaming freely from the puncture wounds you made. “OH YOU KNOW. YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE AFTER THE BIG CHAIR. I WAS ORIGINALLY TOO BUT THEN I THOUGHT, ‘HEY. WHY SIT AROUND ALL DAY WHEN I COULD BE PUNCHING SOMETHING.’ SO I TOLD THE BIG GUY NO AND HE SAID TO GO MAKE SURE NO ONE GOT HIS CHAIR.”Ah. So he’s helped you along then. Maybe you should thank-“BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT BULLSHIT. WHERE ARE THESE TYRANIDS OF YOURS?”You turn and look back at the shuttle. Just in time to see the Lictor skitter out and hurry off towards the horizon. As for the two gaunts, they poke their heads out with a curious “skree?”>  First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!>  Gaunt “pillow” fight!>  Baseball, but with Gaunts.>  FORGET THE TYRANIDS. IF YOU CAN’T SHAKE HANDS PROPERLY WE’D BETTER JUST GET THIS OVER WITH NOW. YOUR SKULL DOESN’T BELONG ON THAT HEAD.
>>38779790> Baseball, but with Gaunts.
>>38779790>  First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!
>>38779790> First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!
>>38779790> First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!Somehow the derpy childish glee of that makes me giddy when I realize its covered in gore.
>>38779790>>  First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!Fuck that lictor...
>>38779790>>  First one to kill the lictor gets to drink its blood!
>>38779790>  Gaunt “pillow” fight!
>>38779790>  Baseball, but with Gaunts.
>>38779790“Khorne damn it,” you mutter. “WELL I GUESS WE’LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT A COMPETITION THEN.”“OH? WHAT ARE THE TERMS?”You spin back towards him and fold your arms across your chest. “FIRST ONE TO KILL THE LICTOR GETS EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO DRINK ITS BLOOD. AND CLAIM ITS SKULL.”A loud crunch follows Gorechild being ripped free and slung over Kharn’s shoulder. “AND THEN WE FIGHT?”“AND THEN WE FIGHT.”“FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!”And then he takes off running. Damn he’s fast.>  You once killed a lot of PDF in a very short time. This is nothing. (Ag)>  Use your tracking skills to chase after the Lictor in a smarter way (Per)>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)>  Try to ensnare and trip up Kharn (BS)>  Write in
>>38780102>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)just cause
>>38780102> You once killed a lot of PDF in a very short time. This is nothing. (Ag)This is a sword measuring contest, no point in traps or daggers
>>38780102>>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)Let's show this little Astartes->>38780160I fucking see what you did there anon.
>>38780102> Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)
>>38780102> You once killed a lot of PDF in a very short time. This is nothing. (Ag)Although  would be funny as fuck
>>38780102>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)gotta be careful we don't start speaking spanish
>>38780102>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)There was a game I played that had something like this I think.
>>38780102>>  You once killed a lot of PDF in a very short time. This is nothing. (Ag)I've got a need, a NEED FOR SPEED!
>>38780102>>  Sling yourself along using your Warp Chains (Ag, BS)
>>38780102>  You once killed a lot of PDF in a very short time. This is nothing. (Ag)
Rolled 16 (1d100)2d100 vs 55 and 21Passing the former gets you up to speed. Passing the latter makes you even faster. Failing the first is embarrassing. The second means you don't get style points.
Rolled 10, 48 = 58 (2d100)>>38780412
Rolled 36, 55 = 91 (2d100)>>38780412rolling
Rolled 41, 66 = 107 (2d100)>>38780412I really want to beat up Kharn, then not kill him, and make him a bro who helps protect the throne for us
Rolled 78, 59 = 137 (2d100)>>38780412
>>38780435>>38780442>>38780453No style points for you. But you do manage to be at least as fast as him.Writing...
>>38780453That's Kharn's job in Cinder's New Order.He's not our Champion, he does not accept challenges on our behalf. He seeks out those who get uppity about their place. If they beat him, they may challenge us.
Rolled 64, 71 = 135 (2d100)>>38780528Sounds good to me
>>38780102Of course, you’re faster. Catching up to him is easy, trivial in fact, but you’re going for style here. As such you start to incorporate your Warp Chains into your stride in an attempt to go even faster. However, due to the planetoid’s odd gravity, you don’t quite get the intended snap-back. Instead you end up maintaining the same speed while looking slightly flashy. Kharn doesn’t seem to care though. The moment you both catch sight of the fleeing Lictor, he bellows loudly and hefts his axe as if to throw it. “LICTOR. CORNER POCKET.”>  Throw something of your own at the Lictor (BS)>  Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)>  Use your Warp Chains to redirect Gorechild (BS)>  Trip Kharn and send him off balance (WS)>  Write in
>>38780673>>  Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)We must impress Kharn Oniichan!
>>38780673>  Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)
>>38780673> Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)
>>38780673>  Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)Only true answer.
>>38780673> Throw something of your own at the Lictor (BS)Throw the GK bolter, its only appropriate, tit for tat and allbe epic and throw it at gorechild and have gore child miss and the bolter deflect off of it into the lictor
>>38780673> Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)Let's go to the judges for their score...
>>38780673>>  Throw something of your own at the Lictor (BS)Throw our firestorm blade at that lictor.
>>38780673>  Fling yourself forward, catch Gorechild midair, and use it to kill the Lictor in one movement (Ag x 2, WS)critfail inc.
>>38780793activate flames: it becomes a rocket propelled projectile
>>38780839Tempting. A lot of people would have to switch their votes though
>>38780793Wrap it in warp chains first. Whirling Ginsu of death.
>>38780910>>38780739I'll readjust my vote, but its kinda already in that general area
3d100 vs 55, 55, and 68I believe.
>>38780993I suppose we cant combine can we...
Rolled 14, 56, 18 = 88 (3d100)>>38780993Roll now? Okay. I hope Kharn Oniichan likes my routine.
Rolled 2, 35, 32 = 69 (3d100)>>38780993
Rolled 26, 77, 27 = 130 (3d100)>>38780993All hail Rao, Nauto, and Gared!
Rolled 79, 21, 24 = 124 (3d100)>>38780993BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Rolled 28, 8, 29 = 65 (3d100)>>38780993For Khorne, Blood and the Macho Man
>>38781029>>38781030>>38781033Soooo a 2, a 35, and an 18.Yeah I think you got it. Poor Kharn. Writing...
>>38781065>Poor KharnWhat is this, pity? What kind of shotty Bloodthirster are you!?
>>38781121Awww. Birdy wanna headpat?
>>38780673The millisecond Gorechild leaves his hand you slam yourself into the ground and tense all of your muscles. All at once you release, exploding yourself forward faster than the twirling weapon.“YOU CALL THAT A THROW?” you screech as you soar by the axe. Along the way you catch it with a single outstretched hand before bringing it to bear. “THIS IS A THROW.”Now directly above the Lictor you fling your arm up high above your head. Then you bring it down in on tremendous crash. Gorechild serves its purpose well, cleaving into the Lictor as if the Tyranid was paper. Blood and viscera erupt outwards as the weapon buries itself into the ground and bifurcates the deceased bioform. As for you, you use your grip and momentum to swing yourself back up into the air. There you angle yourself just right to come back down to stand right on the pommel.“I THINK IT’S CLEAR WHO WON.”Kharn stops running some five meters distant from you. You see his helmet look you up and down slowly. If you had to guess, he’s re-evaluating his impression of you.“THAT. WAS. AWESOME.”“I KNOW RIGHT.”“WE STILL HAVE TO FIGHT THOUGH.”“I KNOW.”Shit. Maybe this is flirting. Damn it Acerea. At least no one’s watching.…You HOPE no one is watching.>  Give Kharn his weapon back and produce your own firestorm blade>  Suggest that the fight be strictly fisticuffs>  Offer a compromise: you’ll drop an arm to make it fair for him
>>38781343>  Give Kharn his weapon back and produce your own firestorm blade
>>38781343>  Suggest that the fight be strictly fisticuffsWe'll fight like...well, whatever gets us closest to gentlemen!
>>38781343> Suggest that the fight be strictly fisticuffsMano a mano, as it was in the beginning. Either that or we get a brick on a rope.
>>38781343> Suggest that the fight be strictly fisticuffs
>>38781343> Is the correct answer here.>>38781401You mean a GK bolter on a Warp chain, right?
>>38781343>  Give Kharn his weapon back and produce your own firestorm bladeTHIS WILL BE AN HONORABLE DUEL IN THE NAME OF KHORNE! LET THE BLOOD FLOW!
>>38781343> Give Kharn his weapon back and produce your own firestorm blade
>>38781425Shit I don't have the screencap.[tg] has a story of a guardsman who killed Kharn with a brick in Only War.
Honerabu Cinder is Honerabu. would have been fine tooWriting...>>38781545I got you.
>>38781573Maybe we can disarm each other and go fisticuffs halfway?
>>38781573You are my hero.
>>38781343Well even if they are watching it doesn’t matter. There’s only one thing to do now. You hop off of Gorechild to the rocky surface below. Then you kick the axe back into Kharn’s waiting hand.“THIS WILL BE FUN,” he roars as Gorechild’s teeth become a blur of ripping death. “I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO USE THIS ON THE LAST GUY.”“IT’S TOO BAD YOU WON’T BE USING IT EVER AGAIN,” you retort, producing your own Firestorm Blade. The moment it settles into your hands Warpfire erupts around the edges, far brighter than any instance of it you’ve seen thus far. No wonder Iggy’s jealous. You’re going to have to think of something special. But first, Kharn.Each of you settles into opposing stances and waits, watching the other for the tiniest sign of movement that could betray their intentions. >  Wait for him to move first (Per, WS)>  Move first yourself (WS)>  HAHA. FIRE!
>>38781573Jesus Christ someone get this man a medal
>>38781713>>  Move first yourself (WS)
>>38781713> HAHA. FIRE!
>>38781713>  Wait for him to move first (Per, WS)
>>38781713>  Move first yourself (WS)Well if you're too weak to go first, then have at thee
>>38781713> Move first yourself (WS)
>>38781713> Wait for him to move first (Per, WS)We are a crafty Cinder.
>>38781713> Move first yourself (WS)We're a take charge kind of gal.
>>38781713>>  Wait for him to move first (Per, WS)Were not going to use that bolter on him, hes earned a fight with us and we sure as hell want to fight him. Also if we beat him we could totally bring him back with demonic fuckery (however thats done), and he'll probably follow us.
>>38781784Fire from the Firestorm blade, anon. Not the bolter.
Rolled 58 (1d100) by a vote.2d100 vs 45 and 68.Kharn will be rolling opposed WS checks where appropriate.
Rolled 20, 61 = 81 (2d100)>>38781957
Rolled 34, 4 = 38 (2d100)>>38781957
Rolled 59, 53 = 112 (2d100)>>38781957
Rolled 6, 4 = 10 (2d100)>>38781957No idea if I'm doing it right.
Rolled 51, 45 = 96 (2d100)>>38781957If we die here, the quest continues indefinitely. I'm not sure what I should be hoping for.
Rolled 32, 21 = 53 (2d100)>>38781957
Rolled 21, 17 = 38 (2d100)>>38781957
>>38781988You did anon, if you were a little faster this'd be super ugly for Kharn.
Rolled 82, 68 = 150 (2d100)>>38781988holy shit anon, if only you were 7 seconds sooner
>>38781988your doing it right, but your too slow at it
>>38781988Fuck Kharn right in his big stupid pauldrons.
>>38781978>>38781981>>38781983Yeah a 20 and a 4 is more than enough to beat Kharn's rolls. In fact you got so many DoS on that he looks like an amateur. Poor guy.Writing...
>>38782012I really don't want to kill him, just let him in on the plan and have him keep doing his job but for us.
>>38782007>>38782008>>38782010>>38782011I hit post before the first few replies had shown up.Damn.Do you guys know how to change the refresh rate in appchanx?
>>38782030even if we "kill him" my guess is that Khorne would see fit to give him a new body after losing to his successor in training
>>38782039settings button in the corner down to interval, then adjust as needed
>>38782070that or we punch dad until he brings Kharn back for us because he's a real swell guy
>>38782070>To go along with the theme.Kharn is reincarnated as a girl.....
>>38782086sorry interval is under the updater heading>>38782096This must now happen
>>38782096nah, we need him as his good old self
>>38782096I'd rather not kharn is a real swell gal has......... Differing connotations.He's Khornate not Slaaneshi
>>38782096>No one ever notices underneath the armour and screaming.
>>38782096....This is acceptable.....
>>38782096Nope, we need him as a bro.
>>38782096He should remain a man, besides, who says we're going to kill him?
>>38781713The only source of sound is fabrics and chains blowing in an ominous breeze. Your blood wants you to tunnel vision Kharn but you know better. This is an asteroid floating in the void between two realms of reality. It’s just as unpredictable as the Champion in front of you is. So instead you force yourself to take in every little detail you can. And it pays off.When Kharn begins to move forward, you realize the horizon of the rock you’re on is rippling. It’s as if a tremor or wave is displacing the surface. Even with the power armor aiding him, the effect is just enough to cause his deliberately minimal swipe across your torso to be a nanosecond too slow.And a nanosecond is all you need.Sparks and jets of flame spew forth from where your blade catches Gorechild’s teeth. They screech to a stop and cause Kharn’s arm to vibrate. Again, normally not enough to matter to such a Champion of Khorne, but enough that a daemon like you can use it as leverage. Leverage enough to wrench the axe upwards and give you free reign to plant a knee square across his chestplate.“HAH! GOOD ONE!” he roars as he’s sent back a meter or so from the force of the blow. “AND TO THINK YOU AND THE OTHER GUY ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT. A PITY. BUT NOW YOU’VE GONE AND DAMAGED GORECHILD. I CAN’T HAVE THAT.”>  Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fight>  Less talking, more whacking (WS)
>>38782269>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fightDoes he fight as good as I do?
>>38782269> See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fight
>>38782269>  Less talking, more whacking (WS)Gotta agree. less talk more rock.
>>38782269>  Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.
>>38782269>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fight
>>38782269> Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.> See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fightHoly shit we are flirting.
>>38782269> See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fightNeed to take names if we're gonna kick ass.And captcha says his name is colin.
>>38782269>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fightIs he big?
>>38782269>>  Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fight
>>38782269> & Let me axe you a question!
>>38782337Khornate foreplay and sex leads to someone in pieces. There may not even be penetration involved, let alone anyone getting naked. But SOMEONE gets off on the amount of blood splattered over them.
>>38782269>>  Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.>>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fightWe'll throw ours if he'll throw his.
>>38782366Sex with Khornate demons or with khornate cultists usually ends in one or both individuals involved suffering grievous bodily harm...
>>38782371no mention of what direction we throw it in though[spoilers]ROCKET SWORD![/spoiler]
>>38782269>  Suggest that he’d better throw it aside then. Because otherwise you’re going to break it worse than Gorefather.>  See if you can’t get him talking about this other guy while you fight
>>38782395>>38782366I see minimal difference from SoB sex.
>>38782422>[spoilers]I is smrt
Rolled 68 (1d100)4 for  &  combined5 for just  Close. But let's stick with just .Oh and you should roll a 1d100 vs 68 too.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>38782459
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>38782459
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>38782459
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>38782459
>>38782475>>38782477>>38782484Kharn pls. You have a higher WS than Cinder and yet you keep cocking up your rolls. I can't let you get a hit in when she's getting 4 DoS over you.Anyways, writing...
>>38782509well he does keep getting an 8 in his rolls
>>38782509oh Kharn, you....
>>38782269You snicker in amusement and wave him towards you with two claws. As before his strike is that of a master: precise and with only enough movement as is necessary. But again you show that your martial prowess is higher.“WELL MAYBE IT’S A GOOD THING YOU CHOSE ME OVER THE OTHER GUY,” you taunt as you once again displace his axe. Though this time he follows it up with a rain of blows rather than allowing himself to be kicked again. “BECAUSE IF YOU FIGHT LIKE THIS ITS NO KHORNE-DAMNED WONDER YOU HAVEN’T DIED ALREADY.”Your weapons lock and intertwine as he attempts to cleave down into your skull. “THE OTHER GUY STILL WOULD DIE SLOWER THAN YOU WILL.”“OH?!”A gout of flame washes over the pair of you from your Firestorm blade. Neither of you bothers to care. “A DARK ELDAR AVATAR OF KHAINE? YEAH I THINK HE’D AT LEAST OFFER ME SOME HUMOR BEFORE DYING.”“YOU DON’T FIND BEING PUNCHED IN THE FACE FUNNY?”“WHA-”You quickly explain the punchline. His helmet audibly and visibly cracks in a deep gouge down the right side. Kharn reels back in alarm as shards of red metal and brass-colored bits fall from him. He’s quick to shake it off though. Yet, as he readies himself for another torrent of steel, he stops mid motion.“KHORNE DAMN IT GORECHILD. FINE. WE BOTH KNEW IT WOULD COME TO THIS ANYWAYS. ”The axe is discarded into the air behind him. You follow suit and toss your own blade, sending it off like a rocket propelled by Warp flame. >  Same as before. Wait for him to come to you. (Per, WS)>  You know tail-fu (WS)>  Tank the punch to drive home how badly you’re outclassing him (T)
>>38782673> Tank the punch to drive home how badly you’re outclassing him (T)If win much glories, if lose much pain
>>38782673>  You know tail-fu (WS)
>>38782673>  Same as before. Wait for him to come to you. (Per, WS)
>>38782673>  As >>38782707 has pointed out, it would be the PERFECT way to win him to our side too. If we tank it with our face and then tell offer him an honorable way out he might take it.
>>38782673>  You know tail-fu (WS)We wore him down, so now we take him out.
>>38782673>  Tank the punch to drive home how badly you’re outclassing him (T)Tie breaker!
>>38782673>Same as before. Wait for him to come to you. (Per, WS)He's a typical Khornate. Use that blind aggression against him.
we haven't taken one wound yet, and still people dont want to reach for the glories
>>38782809We want a flawless victory to emphasize our badassery.
Rolled 36 (1d100) has it for now.1d100 vs 68 as per usual. Try not to fail this time, Kharn.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>38782873Rolling.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>38782873
>>38782873>>38782884... Kharn what are you doing!!!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>38782873
Goddamnit, I should have been in bed 45 minutes ago, I have classes tomorrow. One more update I'll read and then no more. Damn you, NotELH, for making this so good.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>38782884>>38782892>>38782903Double 11's.Well you know what? You just gained the ability to punch holes into the Immaterium with that. This roll can only help you. Afterwords, writing...
>>38782908yea im cringing every time I look at the clock too>>38782914>This roll can only help you.6
>>38782914You know, you could go full on TTGL for challenge.
>>38782924oh wait... out of 10....
>>38782924>>38782908West Coast motherfuckers. Quarter System motherfuckers. Spring break has already begun for me, and I'll probably get 9 hours of sleep and wake up at 8:30-ish tomorrow.
>>38782924>>38782914Did we just accidentally punch Slaanesh with that roll?
>>38782945>>38782908 Speaking, I'm ON the west coast. I just happen to have the unfortunate schedule of classes at 9:30 AM sharp. That and I'm a chronic poor sleeper. I do envy you for being on break though.
>>38782945its 1:48tomorrow I have to wake up at 8:20...
>>38782969Ever heard of Tylenol cold pills? Just snap off the white half and take the blue half. It gets me dozy in ten minutes and asleep under twenty.
Rolled 7 (1d100)Oh I forgot to roll this too. Sorry. Don't fail Kharn.
>>38782673You haven’t ever really used your tail in hand to hand combat before. Not deliberately, anyways. Now’s a good a time as any to start. As such, you bait Kharn into trying to come around your backside by “slipping” over a rock. In his blind combat high, he falls for it. Immediately he closes the gap and latches onto your tail. His gauntlets and muscles strain as he attempts to flip you but to no avail. You have too good of leverage after shifting your footing. If anything, his zeal in holding on just makes it worse for him. Especially since you whirl and spin your entire body with enough force to send your tail into a death spiral and him with it. The very instant you feel him lose his grip you flip into the air and kick downwards. Smoke bellows out of the power armor as you slam Kharn into the ground with enough force to kill anything short of one blessed by the Gods. For a moment it looks as if the Champion will catch fire from your assault, but the tendrils of chaotic fire quickly vanish as you loom over him.>  “Yield.”>  End him.SS Rank achieved! Fucking Kharn.
>>38783056>>  “Yield.”
>>38783056>>  “Yield.”Kharnes a bro.
>>38783056>  End him.Present his skull to our god!!
>>38783056>  “Yield.”"So, about that other guy you wanted to pick a fight with..."
>>38783056>>  “Yield.”If I kill you now Khorne will just send you back but on fire. it'd be fun, by I have things to do and you'd distract me.
>>38782987Im sorry anon, are you under the impression that they put different active ingredients into different halves of the pill? more than likely by snapping it in half it dissolves more quickly if it is any kind of extended release deal.
>>38783056> “Yield.”No shame in losing an honorable fight
>>38783056>>  End him.SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! He's a complete bro and deserves a proper burial, Bloodgod style.
>>38783085Dad wouldn't be all that pleased if we gave him Kharn's skull, the guy is pretty swell and reasonable afterall
>>38783106Well, considering my mum's a nurse, I'm going to trust my source over some guy on a set tubes.
>>38783056>  End him.It's what he would want.
>>38783056> End him.You fought well. Your skull will hold a place of honor.
>>38783130I could easily be wrong, but it would be the first i have ever heard of such a thing and from the logic perspective, it seems like it adds a huge level of unnecessary complexity to add to production to add in there, although I wouldn't put it past people to do it anyway
>>38783056>>  “Yield.”Oniichan needs to stop being so melodramatic.
>>38783056> “Yield.”>Mfw Kharn joins the crew!
>>38783173Wait. Fuck. Shit. That does sound stupid and overly comoplicated. And my mum does read horoscopes religiously and took a five week course to become a Chinese lunar astrology "expert."
to add to the khorneyness, I can hear a drunken fight taking place a floor above me...
Kharne get!Maybe.Writing...>>38783216That's Slaanesh.
>>38783244I'll marathon a few sixpacks and eat a few pounds of cheetos while taking the entire pill for a couple of nights. If I do die of a liver failure, my ghost will haunt you according.
>>38783056“Yield.”One simple word, uttered in a respectful, level tone. The kind that stops duels to death in their tracks should the other party wish it.“HAHA HA. HA. Ha… Ow…” You hear the sound of blood being coughed up from his lungs. He’ll live if you stop hitting him but that sort of decision is on him now. You lean in even closer, pressing down with your foot for further effect. “Well?”“You’d do better to kill me. I’ve failed him.” Despite the somber nature of the words you can hear the pride in his voice.“Funny thing about that. If I end up taking his chair as my own then you just lost to your new boss. Nothing more. No face lost but also no honor gained. It is a simple compromise. But one that expires the moment I lift my talons from your chest. Choose. Quickly.”A full minute of silence follows your statement. Then, just as you start to pull back, he mutters, “I want the Lictor skull.”You tilt your head to the side, confused. “Huh?”“The lictor skull. I want it so that I can wear it as a reminder of what I must strive towards.”Now THAT you can respect. Right?>  Let him have it>  Offer him a different “mark”
>>38783345>>  Let him have itToss it at him."Sure knock yourself out"
>>38783345>  Let him have it
>>38783345>>  Offer him a different “mark”Like, a lewd mark? On the cheek? With the lips? Or another kind of "mark" "mark." The one that comes with blood kinda mark?
>>38783369Slaaneshi please go.
>>38783345> Let him have it
>>38783345>>  Let him have it>>38783369no anon, we save that mark for Iggy, she must be so jealous right now
>>38783386>>38783381I just want to be nice to our silly meat-head clumsy oaf oniichan.
>>38783345You step off of him and offer out a hand to help him up. “Fine. It’s yours.”His hand reaches shakely up, almost touching yours before falling back down. “Haven’t been hit that hard since Angron and I got into a fight over who’s axe was bigger.”“Well, for the record, the answer to that is ‘Cinder’s’ from now on.”“Yes, ma’am.”“Good. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go rescue a certain daemon prince you took hostage before a certain feathered someone explodes out of rage.”“...Wouldn’t that be a good thing?”“You’re not the one sharing a bloodbath with her.”“Oh. And he wasn’t a hostage. We were playing cards when you called.”Motherfucker.> Housekeeping next post.
>>38783273wat, no im trying to say that the sleeping ingredient and the aspirin or acetaminophen are in both halfs, and that that is an exceptionally awful idea. you are basically just taking a quick dissolving half dose, assuming you are taking the RX gel caps that are red and blue and have the little two dots in the middle, which is where the medication slowly dissolves out of.
>>38783486>“Oh. And he wasn’t a hostage. We were playing cards when you called.”pffffffucking Kharn you bro
>>38783486So hey yeah. You go up to 90 infamy because fucking Kharn SS rank. I'll deal with that stat bullshit laterish, but basically I'm finally giving you proper Bloodthirster stats now. That includes the 99 WS. But, as all enemies form now on will be rolling opposed WS (or at least the ones capable of going 1 on 1 with you) it's going to come down to DoS. Also, any time you roll doubles on a WS test now you get to impart an Energy Critical effect free of charge. Assuming you hit and/or beat your opponent in the roll, of course.Taking a small break, then I'll story time the D&D thing from Post #3.
>>38783503Yeap. And the main ingredients in standard tylenol put tons of stress on human livers during processing. If I put tons of stress on said liver while taking full doses and die, you'd be rig-oh. Gotcha.
>>38783522Thanks for the thread ELH, was fucking fun, I'm looking forward to this Cinder D*D storytiem
>>38783403you sound like nicedaemonette/whiteeagle...this is a khornette not a daemonette, she doesnt do kisses and stuff like that, give him the skull and it should be fine.
>>38783588Exactly.We only do stuff like that with Iggy
>>38773306RIGHT SO STORY TIME. pls no edition warsWell, a little bit of backstory first. This is a D&D group where we legitimately ran from level 1 to 30. We're a pretty chill group that goes by rule of cool and allows for the sort of heresy like natural 20 diplo rolls to really matter if there's good justification. We also know the difference between IC and OOC so there's never any worry about really getting into character.So long story short, our last characters hit 30 and so we needed to start up a new campaign with new characters. It was a good excuse to try out 5e after the clusterfuck that was high-level 4e. Naturally, I looked at Cinder and thought, "You know what? War Cleric Tiefling."And so Cinder became a Cleric of Not!Khorne, who also happened to be my last character ascended to godhood (out of my control of course). Everyone else makes their staple characters - witty rogue, highest dps possible berserker, and so on. But what's important here is the character this guy makes. We'll call him Andy.Andy's characters ALWAYS try to use diplomacy and/or the path of redemption as a way to resolve conflict. Which gets funny when he's also playing a Warlock but you get the idea. This is the kind of guy that will, mid boss fight, use his ENTIRE TURN to try and talk the BBEG down.That's where True Cinder comes in.(Cont)
>>38783629I am already hype
>>38783629>Andy's characters ALWAYS try to use diplomacy and/or the path of redemption as a way to resolve conflictoh boy this is going to be good
>>38783629This BBEG in particular wasn't so much a BBEG as he was the last mini-boss out of four. His "room" was designed as such that we were all split up into 2x2 squares that blocked line of sight. You could only move between these squares one at a time but the mini-boss, Abraxus, could pop out at will, hit you, then fuck off. Oh and the DM voiced him like Mandark from Dexter's Lab. Laugh and all. We literally got his girlfriend to go slap his shit in at one point. But anyways...We're starting to all get low on health. I'm out of spell slots and have no way to heal anyone short of yelling at them to feel better. But then Andy's character gets the bright idea of asking Abraxus to come give him a hug. DM says sure fuck it, roll for it.Natural. Goddamn 20.Suddenly it's revealed Abraxus has never had a friend in his life. Sad music is played, feels are had, you know. But not for Cinder. Cinder just get angry. Especially since we all can hear everything the two idiots are blubbering at one another. Andy's character is holding the bastard in place and making him an easy target. So naturally we start to converge. But it takes us all 4 turns to get to his square.By that point Cinder's literally set herself on fire with rage (Sacred Flame Cantrip, no joke). She's screaming and ranting all the the typical Khornate ways. As if half the party, I might add. Right as our ranger gets the killing shot off, Cinder bursts in and swings at the first thing she can see.That happens to be Andy's character.As you can see, she rolled two natural crits and max damage. Had the DM not ruled it only knocked him unconscious with no save rolls it would have kill Andy's character outright. Suffice to say, Cinder no longer gives Andy's Slaaneshii whore any heals. The rest of the party is also being slowly converted to Not!Khorne by praising her to get heals.
>>38783719> Not!KhorneCurious what the name was here.
>>38783810Usually Tempus, Uthgar or Garagos
>>38783810Nothing 40k related as far as I know - Sienna. Also Cinder's sheet's updated. She's finally better than Iggy in terms of averages.Will try for Thurs/Friday for #27.
>>38783719>Suffice to say, Cinder no longer gives Andy's Slaaneshii whore any heals. The rest of the party is also being slowly converted to Not!Khorne by praising her to get heals.hahahahaCinder da best
Did anything ever come of that lace joke last week, by the way?