>one of the villains in your campaign kidnaps one of the PC's children to raise as his own

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>>38542811
God I wish.

>>38542811
>Grindylow Brood Mother asks Vi"tali if he want's to Hentai.
>...
>...
>...
>Этo нe мoй фeтиш.

>>38542811
We use a date as cover to assassinate him.

I think there's actually a greentext about an army of ninjas doing that.

>>38542811
Don't get me started.

>>38545081
>Этo мoй фeтиш.
fixed

>>38545493
And for those who don't read selunic moonrunes?

>>38545667
>Этo мoй фeтиш
This (is) my fetish.

>нe
not

also those are slavrunes, not moonrunes

>>38545373
Do tell.

>>38542811
My character may be unknowingly married to a villain, if that counts.

>>38542811
That's one of my top fetishes, so it would be extremely awkward if it happened.

>>38545725
They got closer to the moon than Japs did.

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>>38546432
>>38545373
Go on.

>>38546618
does that mean American is the actual moon runes?

>>38546370
>>38546632
Ok, It'll take a while to type it all up so be ready for a long wait.

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>>38542953

>>38542811
The BBEG of your campaign makes his mooks go easy on one of the characters because the BBEG's daughter has a crush on said character.

>>38546632
So my Noble Fighter has a tendency to womanize.
The town we just saved is holding a celebration for us, and it turns out the captain of the guard's daughter has a CHA of 19, the highest any 1st level non-variant human can naturally get.
So I decide to risk it for the sake of roleplaying, and he gets to know her pretty well, if you know what I mean.
So her dad comes up to my guy (his name is Stark) to talk about something.
>Ohshit.jpeg
He thought that after being part of the group that rescued the town I was good to marry his daughter, whose name was Maya.
(Stark knew her name when he plowed her, obviously)
So they have a basic ceremony for marriage, and then my character needs to go back to his clan, which is nearby.
Maya tells him that her father is drunk and they leave.
She's a bard/fighter 1/1, making us both second level, and has her father's magical sword.
Stark gets a MacGuffin from his tribe and prepares to kill the next villain, his eeevil uncle, who has stolen another MacGuffin that is nullified by the one Stark carries.
When they come back, it turns out that her dad died under mysterious circumstances.
>Ohshit.jpeg
Maya goes into 'mourning' for a few days.
More coming up.

>>38546879
We cross a small desert to go to where the city my uncle is at, Tarphyr.
At this point, Stark is completely enthralled by Maya, to the point where it would be hard to force him, a known womanizer. to cheat on or leave her.
Our party stays in an inn there, and when Stark comes downstairs, Maya is nowhere to be found.
He's discussing some plans and then wonders (in-character thinking, not speaking) where Maya is.
She appears out of nowhere behind him, startling him.
She rolls a group Intimidate at a +7 bonus, managing a 24 total.
This means either the DM calculated things wrong, or she's at least level 5.
She cozys up to my character, and, word for word, says,
>"...I want to come and protect my fool husband out there from the Tarphyrian sand whores..."
She seems to appear and disappear at will, she brought what appears to be a Deck of Many things to our group (Stark drew, no immediate effects), and she never seems to be nervous, even in danger.
It gets worse. Let me tell you why next post.

>>38547163
The main goddess of the setting is a Chaotic Evil Goddess named Teya.
The MacGuffin Stark carries is an amulet from his family history. It has a deep connection to Kor, a Neutral Good god who is in conflict with Teya.
We've been told that Kor is an ascended human, so the connection may be more along the lines of 'Stark's ancestor is actually Kor';
There's someone else it could be, too.
As part of my character's backstory, he learned Dark Elf Silent from his Drow girlfriend who left him before they could get married.
(The actual OOC reason for this was that one of my friends was playing a Dark Elf, but he dropped out.)
And here's the real kicker
As a joke, I wondering out-loud whether I should roll to see if she was pregnant, and the DM shrugged and told me to roll for it.
I said that because CON scores meant a healthier body, a higher score should mean that she was more likely to be pregnant.
I rolled.
Natural.
Fucking.
Twenty.
She has a CHA of 19.
My fighter has insane stats in general, and particularly a STR of 19.
Fucking Paladin twins, man.
I don't know where to go from here.
I have a glass of detect alignment but I'm not sure if I want to find out.
What do I do, anons?

>>38546656
Of course not. I can read english.

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>>38546691
>Be playing Dark Heresy
>Party consists of an Arbitrator as team leader a tech-priest as tech support, a Stormtrooper for bolters and backup CQC, a death cult assassin for CQC, and finally, my Guardsman filling up the role of Demolitions
>We are tasked with infiltraiting a slaving ring, finding it's base then setting off a transponder before waiting for further details.
>Roles/disguises break down as always (read above)
>Anyways, we infiltrate the ring by kidnapping fools, eventually arriving at the enemy asteroid base
>"Asteroid" doesn't do this thing justice, it was the size of a small moon that had been hollowed out an filled with dockyards, habs, hydroponics, power and of course. Signal Jammers.
>Our way around this was to get VERY close to a few individuals and essentially piggyback the base's comms to get a signal out.
>As we get up and up by doing ops against Arbites and pirates, we start getting fancier and fancier stuff.
>Eventually, we get called into a meeting with the base's boss. And we meet him in his office.
>The office is huge, and the walls an ceilings are giant screens showing the asteroid field like giant windows. The centre of the room had a large table with three people sitting behind it.
>The one on the left is a fat man in a suit with a monocle like a cross between a munitorum serf and the Penguin from batman. He stank of sweat barely covered up by perfumes. He displayed no weapons.
>The one in the middle, the obvious leader looked like an Imperial Guard general crossed with Vladimir Putin. He wore a black trench coat over carapice armour with a pistol strapped over his waist. His right arm was bionic and his left arm wore a power fist.
CONT

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>>38547163
>At this point, Stark is completely enthralled by Maya, to the point where it would be hard to force him, a known womanizer. to cheat on or leave her.
So it's like that episode of Archer?

>>38547400
>Kor, a Neutral Good god who is in conflict with Teya.
>We've been told that Kor is an ascended human, so the connection may be more along the lines of 'Stark's ancestor is actually Kor';
This one is blessed with a glorious ancestor!

>What do I do, anons?
Keep leveling up for starters.

Optional: Confide your suspicions with 1 party number you can trust to never blab.

Have some teleport magic ready so that you can go obi wan with the kids after they're born if need be.

>>38547163
If she's a bard the +7 makes sense.
Don't they get expertise?

>>38547400
You done fucked up, bro. I mean, you can't trust her, you can't kill her, and you can't leave her to raise your children since she's clearly up to no good.

Or find out what she's up to, and ask yourself if you really want to have kids with a lying, patricidal maniac.

>>38545493
If was wasp-matron, then da, is fetish. But is octopus-goblin. Octopus have same number of legs as spider. Spiders are nyet.

>>38547744
They get expertise at third level.
Allegedly, she was second level.
And that should have doubled her bonus if she did get that, making it a +8.

>>38547693
The thing is, she knows where I live now. That's not going to work. If she's as powerful as I think she is, she'll slaughter half of my clan before they can bring her down.
I could tell the party monk. That might work. Maybe.
But like I said, she seems to be able to be anywhere she wants.
>>38547744
But Stark still loves her, even though she's suspect. He doesn't know what she is, but he's willing to ask as soon as all of this is over.

>>38548058
>she'll slaughter half of my clan before they can bring her down.
You don't necessarily take them back there.

>But like I said, she seems to be able to be anywhere she wants.
Teleport or Dimension Door? Anyone know of other things that could let her do that?

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>>38547469
>The one on the right is the one who My character had problems with. The best way to describe her is Revy from black lagoon with Cat ears along with Balalika's attitude and back story. She was the only one standing and wore an ornate red dress and wore her hair in a pony tail. Strapped to her legs were a pair of cut-down hellpistols.
>The trio introduced themselves from left to right. Theodore VonAdlof, Maxwell Camaroon and Janice Petrov. They were the joint commanders to the outlaw base of "Free-point"
>The party handed the meeting the only way they knew how. By standing to attention and praying that no-one checked their pockets.
>During the meeting everyone sized each other up, checking for weakness. The Gm described that "Madame Petrov's eyes cross over all of you, lingering for an uncomfortably long time on Foulk before continuing"
>Instantly start worrying internally about this little thing.
>We get back to doing our thing, but with more of my character being sent out, thinking he is being followed by glimpsing "a familiar dress" before pulling the stealthy equivalent of a Crazy Ivan, waiting for a few turns before sneaking back on his way.
>Eventually find out just who's been stalking our resident S.T.A.L.K.E.R. No-one is really surprised when it turns out that Janice is stalking him.
>This starts out as just curious glances around corners and massive blushing that register's on our sensors.
>It get's to the point where the party is split, with my guy going off and doing things while the rest do the Inquisitorial stuff.
>Occasionally we have to leave for long ops, we aren't followed.
>Then we start noticing people following us.
>This escalates from, "stalking" to "Mystery packages for my character" and ending up at "Walking into an ambush where the ambushers have been killed already" and "receiving sniper support during fire fights".
>During one of the Tech priest's system probes, he hack's her room and finds stuff that weirded everybody out.
CONT

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>>38542811

Sorta happened to a PC in a earlier campaign. Drow Ranger/sorta fighter/sorceress Villain slowly over the course of the game assembles a device that greatly amplifies spells in order to create a doomsday weapon. During the final fight we are getting our asses kicked thanks to the RNG gods being fickle and perfidious as they can be.

So, during the fight our new fighter picks up a scroll that our wizard dropped, and luckily manages to read it using the device. The spell he casts? Charm Person.

Our Villain fails the roll, knocking her unconscious. Our very lucky party destroys the device and decides to take said villain into custody in hope of getting a huge bounty and recoup some losses. As they head back to the city, Villain wakes up and is her usual vicious self, until she see's our fighter then goes all lubby dovy over him in a very unhinged manner. L<ittle did we realize, bitch went full yandere.

We get to a small town, and establish a watch over her in shifts. In the middle of the night, she manages to escape, brutally murder a tavern wench who made a move on our fighter, drag his drunk ass to the local temple, bribe/threaten/intimidate the Priest into performing a wedding in the middle of a ceremony, then proceeds to consummate said marriage on the alter to the horror of the everyone else.

former villain then runs off. We never see her again until we return to the city a year or so later, where we find said villianness has taken over the local organized crime syndicate after being chased off from her former underground city. This explains why everyone in the party is subject to the usual pickpicket/robbery attempts except the Fighter, All the criminals just chalk it up to the boss' odd eccentricities. He's also off limits to all the whorehouses in her turf, as she doesn't like to share.

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>>38548613


The party sometimes used her organization to get out of tough situations and intel. The fighter is always embarrassed when publically dealing with her, as she acts like a love-stricken and lust-filled teen around him. She also likes going incognito as "Mrs. ____ "(the fighters surname, I forgot what it was).

TL;DR, Fighter ends up with a eccentric, psychopathic, slightly yandere drow wife.

>>38548510
digging this so far

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>>38548510
>The best way to describe her is Revy from black lagoon with Cat ears along with Balalika's attitude and back story.

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>>38548635
Why is it always the human fighters, man?
Not that I'm complaining.

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>>38548780

Because Wizards always seem to have all the fun, so I figured I'd change that up and let non-spellcasters in on the fun a bit since I'm a forever DM.

Real answer: Because me (the DM) noticed said players' character was a mess stat-wise, and player was attached to his fighter, so I utilized the his new girlfriend and her influence/powers to 'tweak' it into something that won't die the second something looked at it too hard. As soon as I saw that the players loved the new detour, I ran with it.

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>>38542811
>powerful cult patriarch develops a romantic crush on my male elf healer
This is a magical realm I'm prepared to enter.

>>38548646
That's great anon, though things might be delayed because of 4chan is broke as a motherfucker
>>38548702
It gets worse anon, so much worse.

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>>38542811
If that happens, here's my advice.

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>>38546719
How I wish this movie was less shallow

Plot holes you can drive a bus through
>hero's went underground due to social pressure, but why the fuck did any villain do that?
>Main story villains motivation & plan is half baked maybe not even baked at all
>seriously why build a thinking weapon to be part of an act, without telling it, instead of making a simple robot follow a script without needing it to think critically?
>Mirages arbitrary turn face turn, seriously shes helped kill at least 20 other supers by that point

Minor issues
>super powered kids not exploring their powers to their full potential
>boss who explicitly watches a crime in progress and threatens to fire the employe who was at least going to report it
>having a second sky-scraping rocket just lying around, & its ready to fire without ANY ground crew support
>this particular tech inclined villian needing human mooks
>villains mooks guarding gates on a remote isolated island
>security cameras in birds randomly in the middle of tropical jungle
>villains mooks celebrating civilian casualties for no reason
>frozones wife scene, i mean seriously its not even about the greater good, you want to get out of a tall building liable to be demolished by a 5 story tall moving metal sphere

that first plot hole is unforgivable because going underground is a central pillar to the story setup,
and if no villain would go under ground because why the fuck would they?, then those court cases would be thrown out and laughed at, and at worst the supers would be licensed and regulated by a branch of the civil government

the second plot hole is just as bad because its the driving force for the story, and predictable blows up in syndromes face in minuets

a better villain for that scenario would be the Royal Pain from Sky High, as she turns all the students & heros to babies to raise as villians

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>>38548058
You don't always get what you want.

Here's the secret, coming from someone with a years-long stable, loving relationship. It doesn't matter. Love is not the end-all be-all core of your existence.

You are.

And if you betray the things you hold dear to hold on to someone who does things that disgust you, then you're nothing. You've lost everything that you are, everything that matters.

If your character is noble, if your character is brave, if your character is righteous, then you need to be willing to do what is necessary.

Being righteous is not the same as being happy. Sometimes, being righteous means being miserable.

My last BBEG was psychotic and wanted to exterminate everyone but herself and my PC

>>38549120
>turn face turn,
meant "heel-face turn"

>>38542811
>My shut in hacker is being pursued by a possibly insect mage affiliated Yakuza princess.
>My mute wizard was being courted by a barbarian who massacred thousands
>This keeps happening
Why is this a fetish.

>>38549120
It's a kids movie settle man, for kids you don't need a deep involved plot. Fanboy was shunned by his hero when he was young is enough for kids.

>>38549258
The thing is, on principle, my character is not going to let his family be manipulated by evil.
Right now it's just a suspicion, but he wants to make sure that, if she really does turn out to be evil, he at least finds out why and tries to redeem her.
As a character, he needs to find out why and find a solution if he can.
As a player, I'm not willing to let this bitch (if she is a bitch) take those paladin kids and turn them for evil.
Hell no.
Any way this turns out, it's gonna be an epic story.

>>38549120
You don't seem to understand where depth comes from.

Here's a hint: it's not plot. Plot doesn't matter very much when it comes to depth.

That said:
>Villains underground
It's a similar take to Watchmen. The villains go underground because without super-things to fight you, you're just a weirdo in a costume. Cops can handle wacky criminals, but the criminals will feel awkward.

>Syndrome's plan
He obsessed with surpassing Mr. Incredible. That means defeating something Mr. Incredible could not, and making sure everyone knows it. The fact that he's cheating doesn't matter to him, as he lacks an emotional core.

>Mirage
She had always felt valued, up until the point where Syndrome would have let her die.

>Minor issues
Really not worth considering.

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>>38542811
"Let her go. She has...earned this."

>>38549553
why is this a valid excuse?
why cant shows made for children withstand any thought?

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>>38548613

>Getting fucked on the alter.

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>>38545493
>Not squiggle squag gulag rag font

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>>38548510
>Remember that scene in almost every anime ever where the MC walks into a girl's room only to find creep shots of him lining the wall?
>This was like that but with an added, life size body pillow of him on her bed and her personal computer packed with even more creep shots of him and what can only be descried as "fan-fic" of him.
>Suffice to say he suffered san loss.
>Not that it mattered though, phase 1 of our plan was done, now we could just leave while our inquisitor blew the station apart with his small fleet.
>Ha Ha, NOPE! Turns out that we have to first get into the central data core, steal their hard-drive that is the size and weight of an engine block. Then we have to get it back to an extraction zone and hold there until Evac arrives.
>The plan was hatched where we would first cut power to the station by destroying/venting the main reactor. Then venting the data core and retrieving it from the now atmosphere free room.
>The whole op was done by the tech-priest hacking their systems with the Stormtrooper and Arbitrator grabbing the core, everyone else just had to look normal.
>The Assasin was to go to the markets and look like he was on business. buying weapon parts and bits for IEDs.
>I on the meanwhile had to mill about the entertainment district. My whole reason there was stupid, badly planned out and downright dangerous.
>My objective was to essentially draw Petrov's attention by A) not being covered in armour, only in civilian clothes.B) Being in a place where there were many "Convenient"places to have a date.
>It didn't help that my clothes were a t-shirt and cargo pants, barely big enough to hold a las-pistol.
>I essentially had to go and tangle with the feelings of a woman who not only owned a destroyer, but also was an ex-stormtrooper and had a unit of loyal followers who were ready to die so that she could have what she wanted.
>The in-character response to this was "Are you having a laugh?"
>At 10:24 local time, He arrived at the fair.

>>38549641
Because children are retarded

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>>38549598
>villians underground
it was just as weak an excuse in the watchmen and you know it
Not every villian wants the opposition

>syndromes plan
ok sure, how does the acting after killing mr. incredible do that in any way?
this is like saying "If I can shoot myself and live with the same gun I shot my Nemesis dead with, then I beat him"

>Mirage
If you worked with a man and an organization that systematically killed supers, you have to have a goddamn good motivator more than feeling valued
And I will acknowledge you probably haven seen it in a while, but in the scene where she gets pissed at syndrome she talks about how "Valuing Life is Not A Weakness" so that's already in contradiction to her responsibility in the previous deaths

>minor
yeah i know, it just bugged me

>>38549585
That's reasonable. Action without knowledge is simply recklessness.

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>>38549840
Keep going.

>>38549861
Only Yours

Children act the way they are treated
They are generally treated as psychopaths, and retarded, and you wonder why they act that way?

>>38549840
See the image in
>>38549827

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>>38549840
ur fuked

>>38549988
You're gonna have to be more specific.

>>38549912
Not the one who said they're retarded but you only need a simple plot because that's all they care about. A 6-12 yr old isn't going to watch the Incredibles then go find a sleuth of novels based on the Incredibles and analyze its deep lore. On the other hand, they may become interested in super heroes with actual deep plots. It's supposed to be a simple accessible family movie.

>>38549865
>it was just as weak an excuse in the watchmen and you know it
Maybe, but it's a good enough. Seriously, they just wanted a patch that would keep the fridge logic at bay long enough to get to the actual plot. This hole doesn't matter because fuck caring about that bullshit, we have a movie to get to. Yeah, they could have spent two hundred thousand an several months coming up with an in-depth explanation of how the villains were dealt with that somehow doesn't apply to Syndrome, but instead they waved a wand and didn't care because they had a story to get to.

>ok sure, how does the acting after killing mr. incredible do that in any way?
He demonstrates that he's smart enough to defeat something that Mr. Incredible could not. He cheats, but narcissists tend not to get bogged down in details like that.

>Mirage
Not a contradiction so much as character growth, and while I'm sure she had a good motivator, I think that her realization that she could have died, that she was not valued as highly as she felt she deserved, and that her victim was much nobler than she may have realized spurred her growth.

Bitch deserves some jail time, but her change still made sense.

>>38550088
why is "Simple" synonymous with "Incomplete"
I don't want it to be unnecessarily complex, I want it to be complete

If at any point in a story you ask "Why are they doing that" and there is no answer or there is a weak excuse you already tried, its incomplete
Simple stories don't need to be incomplete

I mean 2 only focused on the 2(ish) major problems that are the setup and driving factors of the movie

>>38549840
>yandere catgirl Balalaika

Muh dick.

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>>38549840
>At 4:15 after mission start, he encountered Janice.
>Much to his surprise, she acted much more confidently than expected. Even suggesting a few attractions that they could do.
>One was a shooting stall, they both won big with him beating her score. Just to add to the romantic-ness he gave her the grand prize, a giant stuffed bear
>On the roller-coaster she held his hand in a vice grip.
>In the haunted house she hid behind him while he didn't flinch (some lucky rolls, praise the dice gods)
>As She got lunch, he checked in and asked the other teams to hurry the fuck up.
>On the "Tunnel of love" (The GM was just making this worse at the time) she cuddled up to him while he showed affection (on the outside, internally he was wondering if the rest of his team were just watching him for the laughs.
>On the tandem swing (a rope hung under an arc with a harness for two people) she clutches on him because love, while he tries to not have a mental breakdown because of her unsurprising wetness, sanity was burned to prevent catastrophic mission failure.
>As the "day" comes to an end, they share one last meal in the simulated dusk.
>Then thankfully, the power goes out
>She panics, because she can't see him. His face however, is pic related
>Thusly concealed, and able to see with his naturally good eyesight, he makes good his chance and gets the fuck out ash she franticly tries searching for him.
>Rendezvousing with the team at the extraction point, the promptly GTFO as the place is shelled by the inquisitorial cruiser that they are leaving on.
>The ship jumps to warp as enemy ships swarm out of the wrecked station.
But this isn't the last appearance of the lovable loony, and If anon's want, I can continue...

>>38550461
Continue!

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>>38550461
Do eet.

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>>38550461
>See image of Pixy
>Now can't unsee Pixy

>>38550269
Why is "you" synonymous with "autistic"?
It's called willing suspension of disbelief.

It's a good fun movie until you over think it like you're a fucking movie critic.

>>38550461
Do it.

>>38550222
>patch over fridge logic
yep

>He demonstrates that he's smart enough to defeat something that Mr. Incredible could not. He cheats, but narcissists tend not to get bogged down in details like that.
except in order to do that he had to MAKE A THINKING WEAPON, this is a detail that a character can't overlook. Building this robot took time and effort, and probably quantum leaps tech wise.
and then he want's to beat it for glory from the public? He of all people would be the first to know why that would back fire

seriously
he trained it and built it to kill real supers, investing ridiculous amounts of time and money, and then he tried to face it himself while it was still lethal and armed

>character growth
sure thats what happened, but it just seemed out of place, you know with her doing that whole shtik about contacting and hiring new supers to kill, over a decade. that's a lot of repression to get over, or reason to compensate for lack of empathy

>>38550499
>>38550504
>>38550506
>>38550547
Doing It right after I get back from taking a piss.

>>38550538
>you can't critique what you like
>you can't ask for something better when it was already good
>you have to accept even terrible quality


you are the reason Micheal Bay continues to be employed
you are the reason 50 shades of grey was a successful book, and is becoming a movie
you reduce the level of discussion

why are you here?

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>>38550605
While he pisses, more Ace Combat.

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>>38542811
That happend.
Now my character is being chased across the LA d by the Drow matron version of Pepe le Pew

>>38550547
That's quite a fucking leap you made there Evel Knievel.
I say I'm willing to suspend disbelief on a kid's movie and suddenly I think Micheal Bay is a film genius?

>>38550714
Sry meant
>>38550636

>>38550666
>LA d
Meant to say land

>>38550461
Now I want to get a drawfag to draw 40k Pixy and catgirl-Revy making out.

>>38550714
and you can't even quote properly

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>>38550654

>>38550754
But I wasn't quoting...
Nice strawman though

We've had this secondary villainess whose got a massive crush on my Half-Elf Fighter (E. Knight).

And for the oddest of reasons; He's the first person to ever really fuck with her.

>She's the evil noble type, daddies little evil princess, took things over when he died, has been using her wealth to make many profitable (and morally bankrupt) businesses. My character is actually the bastard son of a noble. (His parents got married afterwards)

>My character decided he was going to liberate some slaves (even though the rest of the party didn't because it was legal here). I snuck in and used minor illusion (best Cantrip) to cause chaos whilst I went to town on them with my War Axe. After freeing the slaves, I burned the place down with a firebolt.

>We met her face to face (not knowing who she was, mind you) a few sessions later when she invited us for dinner (we had taken down a notorious raider group, which had also been plaguing her businesses).

>Given that I was the only PC of noble birth, only I knew anything about table ettiquite, or to not wear my armor to the table. (Or in the barbarians case, lack of armor.)

>Through savy noble-esque conversation, it didn't take her long to figure I was the one who did it. (I only killed one of the guards, I mentioned I could do some magic, ect.)

>She then ordered the guards to detain us, but in the hands of a creative player, minor illusion is the bane of all low int mooks. I managed to incapacitate two guards without even staining the dining cloth. Then Mr. Barbarian broke the table in half with a missed swing. We escaped, and lucky too, she was about to cast hold person on me, I got lucky she botched her roll to see through the illusion

>Anyway, she developed this predatory affection for my character, like he's a prize to be won. Every time we've bumped into her, which is whenever we want to fight corruption or do some intrigue, she has obsessed over my character.

>>38550811
the back link is a quote you dumbass

>>38550876
Trust me, I've heard the joke. I wasn't quoting it, this is evidence enough you're autistic as fuck and you will argue about any minor detail.

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>>38550777

>>38550931
Trust me, you are a joke, I wasn't arguing it you baiting fuck, this is evidence your just a troll and will poke bears just to see their reaction

>>38551103
If I was a troll, I'd be getting a ton of satisfaction out of this. But it seems you just as retarded as I think.

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>>38551131
If you aren't getting satisfaction from this then why do you keep responding?
You are probably more autistic than I am

Now, before we start with the tale, I wan't to just recap the team, as because of PC deaths and players leaving because IRL stuff. The party includes the following:
>A Stormtrooper,
>A medic (Arbitrator had to go, so a new gall joined),
>a Tech-priest (Now with 50% more metal),
>And an ex-armsman (Assassin got rekt, new character).

Finally Is our unfortunate main character, Johna Foulk, former demolition trooper of the Bagratian 1297 Fast response regiment. A man who was unprepared for the Inquisition, who generally frown on property damage and explosives in general. Since the Operation to the asteroid station he had, among other things:
>Aided in the destruction of a gene stealer hive by blowing it into a magma chamber, roasting the fuckers
>Saved a planetary governor's daughter from cultists
>Blown up half a planet (the dice gods were trying to save men from what lay ahead)
>>38550749
"Pixy" ought to be tied up, and looking like he's seen some shit.
Anyways, let's get going!

>>38551189
You caught me, you can go back to critiquing kids movies and I'll go back to watching my Micheal Bay films.

>>38550553
>and then he want's to beat it for glory from the public?
... Yes? Do you understand Syndrome's character? He's an enormous manchild who never got over being told no. He wants to be validated and told that he matters, and he wants to do it while showing up Mr. Incredible.
>He of all people would be the first to know why that would back fire
Smart people can and will do incredibly dumb things just because they get emotional over it. Syndrome is driven by his emotions. He's smart, yeah, but he's dumb as fuck about it.

>>38549108
What if its a gay pairing? Who get the dick then? Or lesbians? There's not a dick to be given either way!

>>38550538
I love the movie, but overthinking it is not a problem.

When I look at it critically, it becomes better because the choices the creators made add to the depth of its characters and themes. Just like any good movie, critical lenses enrich the experience.

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>>38551049

time to resume with the AC

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>Our Inquisitor sends us on a mission to investigate some shipping raids, at face value, it's nthing too deep and inquisition requiring. Just Pirates being Pirates.
>Our first lead was to investigate a ship that had just been raided.
>Upon inspection, we found that very little had been taken from the uninteresting cargo of assorted clothes and bed covers.
>The one thing we had gathered from scraps of footage that was left was that the attackers were equipped with equipment from Garradu Armouries, a privately owned manufactorum for military grade weapons and equipment.
>We promptly head to the Garradu plant, stopping by at the wreck of the asteroid base to check for things we can use.
>Que a few sessions of searching for clues, things to knick and dodging things that were breaking/falling apart.
>Finally arrive at the room formerly occupied by the former stalker girl.
> Enter and find that all of the pictures have been removed and the computer is gone.
>Slightly worried but we don't get jumped so all's good in the hood.
>we arrive on the planet where the Garradu plant is located, only to find it seemingly abandoned.
>Worry intensifies as we land and find that our signals out are being jammed.
>Hasn'tthishappenedbefore.png
>Ready guns and get moving towards the main command section of the plant.

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>>38550636
>>38550714
>Implying Michael Bay isn't the greatest mind of out time.

>>38548058
It sounds like it would be OOC to act against her unless she did something irredeemable.

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>>38551738
>In order to get to the command deck we have to pass throught a few sections, The forge (melting together metal for use in the plants), The production lines (divided up into 3 more sections), and finally the Hab section (for workers and higher ups).
>Getting through the forge is easy, it hasn't been activated in years so it's easy to get through.
>The First production line produced Valkyrie dropships, so getting through is easy, and would provide great cover in a firefight.
>The second one was construction of plate carriers and flak vests, which could be useful.
>The third one produces endoskeletons for "implantation" into servitors.
>Finally, we arrive at the hab blocks.
>Many flights of staris and much paranoia later, we arrive at the doors to the command room.
>We bust the open door to find the room empty
>No crew, no workers, But something entriely worse.
>A great stuffed bear sits in the command seat, a box of chocolates and a letter sitting in it's lap. The bear's very presence causes Johna to go deathly pale beneath his helmet. For he knows who it belongs to.
>Afterall, he gave it to her...

>>38552216
>the bear returns

YESYESYES

>>38552216
OH SHIT

>>38552216
abort.jpg

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>>38552216
>mfw

She is the perfect servant of Slaanesh. Excessive love.

I can't wait for the rest of this.

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>>38552216
>When faced with an object that could clearly spell doom for you, your unit and your bollocks, the smartest approach is to back away slowly, then call in an airstrike.
>But Johna was not a smart man
>Seriously, how the fuck can you call blowing up half a planet an "accident"
>Godamn it Johna, you fucked up HARDCORE
>Anyways, he approached the bear as the unit fanned out and started pressing buttons.
>First thing opened was the box of chocolates, which very surprisingly contained ACTUAL chocolate, not laced with paralysis toxins or anything.
>Just behind that was a bottle of Bagratian Whisky, high level export shit. Also not Laced with anything.
>The stuffed bear checked out to not have anything stuffed in it.
>Finally, was the letter.
>Interrupted by the CLANG of locking bulkheads
>"Nu-uh darling, that one is for later" Janice announces over the intercom
>Inter-team radio is going crazy as the older guys criticize me jokingly about my poor choice in women while the Nuggets wonder what the fuck is going on and why the crazy lady is ranting about eternal love.
>Janice says that if I give in then she'll let my comrades go while only doing pic related to me.
>If I try to fight, then My friends will be turned into servitors without anaesthetic.
>Allowing the option to escape
>To an inquisition agent who's formerly a demolitions trooper.
>Laughing Cadians.webm

>>38550553
>>38551481

On the topic of him building a robot that could kill supers and then fighting it himself, he could very easily have justified it to himself in that he had the controller.

And he knew the controller exerted absolute control over the robot. We see it in the film, it did. It was the robot's death.

He just didn't make the jump that the robot would be smart enough to neutralize his control over it, and he'd never done a test where the subject had the controller so he wouldn't have discovered it that way either.

It is also entirely possible that he didn't do the thinking part of the weapon himself, or at least not the later iterations. Because honestly, making all of his "Dumb" supertech and then making workable AI on top of that AND THEN iterating it through all the supers takes way more than one man to design and run and troubleshoot and test.

I'm guessing he made "dumb" supertech to get the ball rolling and attract other smart people with dubious morals. They then either built the brain themselves or at least helped him with it, so he didn't understand its full capabilities.

And as >>38551481 said, he's essentially a huge manchild (complete with tantrums) and very emotional over the whole thing. Emotion is rather good at halting further thought into things and driving you into immediate, if foolhardy, action.

>>38552794
Come on...

>>38542811
Yeah turns out Demon Lords totally have a fetish for heroines.

>>38553138
>muh dick

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>>38552794

>>38553232
Now whether they genuinely attracted to them on any level besides physical or just want to break them for bragging rights is another thing.

>>38553751
>implying it's not both at once

>>38553751
Or maybe they just cut out their skulls and hang them from their weapons and armor as fetishes.

>>38553810
Dammit will it kill you to be romantic for once?

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>>38552794
I'm still waiting.

>>38553795
Can't imagine the first date going well.
Supposing Demon Lords even have the concept of 'dating'.

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>>38553974
Don't tell me you don't go on a date, see your lover sitting there at a candlit table strewn with various still-bloody skulls, and think 'this is romance This is what love is meant to be.'

>>38548780
I always play an Orc fighter, with a thick russian accent

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>>38553325
>>38554026
Sorry 'bout that, I kinda passed out.
>>38552794
>You see, when the normal guardsman is trapped, he gets angry.
>Now add 3 disposable rocket launchers, and a grav chute and multiply that total by Inquisiton
>Through this simple sum, you can clearly see that he has reached levels of "fuck this shit" that allow him to care little things like future repercussions.
>Thus, he packed up the assorted presents. Readied a launcher, and fired.
>There were many things that Janice Petrov had planned for, but one thing she had not expected was the left wall of the command tower to explode out, followed by the whole inquisition team jumping to safety, behind her deployed troops.
>Now in a prime spot, Johna did something sane.
>He fucking legged it like 1001 Catachans running away from a rape victim. Everyone else following him with a similar gusto as they hit the deck.
>For some men, the sound of gunfire is enough to get them bolting faster than they ever though they could. For Johna it was the wailing cries of his psychopathic stalker who wanted to take away his limbs
>Running past the traps, the odd team that tried to delay them, and re-activated machinery. The team made the best possible speed to the extraction zone.
>All the time we had to listen to Janice's ranting. First starting out as boasting about how I wasn't going to escape, then progressing more and more towards franticly begging him not to go.
>This was slightly offset by the other guys in the team making jokes about Johna's "poor tastes" when it comes to women.
>Eventually we neared the extraction point, we could literally see the landing zone
>Then the bulkheads closed.

>>38556837
I really hope this ends up getting a happy, crazy ending.

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>>38556837
Welcome back

>>38554655
I laff until I crie every tiem.

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>>38556993
Thanks, it's good to be back.
>>38556934
Not for a while, The GM used her as a recurring villain because we never confirmed killing her. But there is the happiest ending possible for someone who works with the Inquisition.
>>38556837
>So the bulkhead slams down, crushing a few unlucky boxes and cutting off our main avenue of escape.
>Things go from TARFUN to FUBAR in about as many seconds as our team wasn't prepared for a holding action larger than suppressing about 10-30 people.
>Thus we frantically start looking for a way to the landing pad, finding that escape in the form of a maintenance tunnel.
>The good news is that once we're in, it's smooth sailing to the landing pad.
>Bad news was that the door was locked, so our tech priest would have to unlock it.
>At least she's shut up, now we can focus on setting up so that the force following us doesn't kill us all.
>By the time the enemy arrived, we had set up a few boxes as cover and built some gun carts.
>And by gun carts, we jury-rigged four hand carts with ten lasguns each slaved to a single trigger, and slapped some pieces of Plasteel plating on them for armour and a rudimentary turret like system so they could be used as emplacements.
>So the enemy arrived and we cut them down.
>Re-enforcements arrived and we cut them down.
>Re-enforcements arrived and the Las-carts ran out of ammo, so we switched to our weapons.
>Re-enforcements arrived and we killed them, but ran out of ammo so we had to bludgeon the last guy to death.
>Finally however, the door was unlocked and we all piled through.
>The maintenance shaft was dark and damp but no crazy women with axes jumped out so it was all cool.
>Finally we arrived at the door to the section past the bulkhead.
>We unlocked it and went the fuck through.
>I'll give you three guesses as to what was there.

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>>38557261

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>>38557261

>>38550461
>Not falling in love with crazy.
>Not knowing that crazy love is best love.

>>38557484
You think that it'd be nice with all the attention you're getting and that she'd literally do anything for you.
Then you realize that you have absolutely no control over her and her affection toward you ism't about you as so much it is about her.
Also that her "doing anything for you" can be really scary when you don't agree with the things she is doing for you.

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>>38557312
Close enough
>>38557484
>Not wanting to keep your arms and legs
>Not wanting to be able to hug the ones you love
>Not wanting your legs so that you can romantically carry your lover away.
>Thinking that "do anything for you" isn't a cover for "murder anything that might keep you away from your new family"
>>38557261
>So we turn the corner, and find ourselves staring down the barrel of a hellgun.
>A WILD STALKER HAS APPEARED
>She asks us to drop our gear and turn around
>Surprisingly to everyone, Johna starts to comply, dropping his hellgun, un-clipping his pistol and putting his bag on the ground.
>Everyone else starts to comply as well.
>That is until Johna does something that shouldn't have worked.
>Really, the dice gods either took pity on us, or were so pleased by the performance thus far that they wanted things to continue later.
>Anyway, Johna's grand scheme was to throw the stuffed bear at her and hope that she was delayed long enough for everyone to get the fuck out and lock the door behind them.
>And with an audible *Pomf* sound, the bear impacted.
>Taking this opportunity, Johna grabbed most of his gear with one hand and the medic with the other before legging it.
>And, as with the unspoken law of the military. When the unit saw their demolitions trooper running away, they tried to keep up.
>And once out of the door, they closed it, locked it and wielded it shut just to make sure that little miss STALKER wouldn't follow.
>We promptly arrive at the landing pad as the extraction craft arrives. We promptly get the fuck on and leave.
>As the craft leaves, if one looked outside they could see Janice watching the craft go, rifle in one hand and teddy in the other.
>She watched in horror as her love is carried away to parts unknown.
>De-brief was conducted a few days later.
>PDF and Arbites forces had stormed the plant , but found no trace of Miss Petrov.
>Our mission was deemed a success and new call signs were provided
>Mine was Heartbreaker
CONT

>>38557733
Now, we come to a Point where I ask for anon's opinion.

Our tale has two more chapters, do you want them summarised or in full?

>>38557769
in full

>>38557795
I second this motion

>>38557795
>>38557809
Ok then, I'll get back to writing after food.

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>>38550848
This reminds me of someone..

>>38557769
In full.
Why would we not.

>>38557769
In full
on phone someone please cap this story

>>38557834
Food acquired: Writing has begun

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>>38557769
I think you know the answer.

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>>38558016

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>>38557769
[Waiting intensifies]

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>>38547400

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>>38557733
>A few missions after we were assembled for a briefing
>As our last mission had ended with everybody injured because our impromptu radioman fucked up grid refrences for an airstrike and everybody nearly died.
>Our new mission was to go to a hive world. Officially" our mission was to protect an inquisitor who was there to observe the handover of power to the planetary governor after his world was raided by chaos cultists.
>Un-officially, we were there for R&R.
>So, everyone grabbed their pre-loaded bags with pre-issued civilian clothes and got into the transport shuttle
>Upon arriving at their assigned apartment (which was a penthouse suit that had five bedrooms, a pool and comfy fucking sofas). They all noticed five well wrapped packages with letters atop them with their individual names on them.
>Que, Johna freaking the fuck out and pulling out his concealed hellpistol (that was meant to be left on the ship)
>Yeah, he has had bad experiences with well wrapped boxes in the middle of rooms at the tops of towers.
>Upon opening the boxes, they find something much worse than a present from their little friend
>Dress Uniforms, medals and manuals on proper manicuring for officers
>The sudden realisation that, they were all promoted to above Major and had enough medals on them to make a laspistol if melted down, turned out to be too much for the paranoia strained Johna and he decided to drink until he passed out.
>The mail arrived the next day arrived, including presents from high ranking officials that we'd helped out. Johna gets worried at the ammount of presents.
>The rest of the time spent there is spent trying to get Paranoid Johna to relax.
>A few days later, there is a grand ball at the governor's palace.
>Johna is convinced that the pistol included in his dress uniform are sufficient enough. And he can't replace the pistol with his hellpistol.
>The gala arrives and everyone arrives in their dress uniforms.
>Shit gets worse for Johna from here
CONT

>>38558657
YES, keep going...

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>>38558657
Go on

>>38558657
Inb4 the inquisitor is her

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>>38558657
>Shit gets worse for Johna from here

>>38558657
I wish I had disgonnabegood.jpeg on my phone

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>>38559079
>Nervous laughing
>>38558657
>Normal Guardsmen get worried when they have to wear dress uniforms.
>Now imagine the guardsman has seen hordes of damned cultists, has a creepy stalker and is in the presence of Lord commissars, planetary governors, Pious lords and an Inquisitor
>Suffice to say that he is out of his depths like a fernisian kraken in the Bagratian swamplands.
>If this couldn't get any worse, the planetary governor's daughter starts chatting with him.
>This earns quite a few eyes on him and a commissar walking nearby.
>Things go well until a posh guy comes over and challenges him to a duel.
>Apparently the guy was the Daughter's suitor and wanted to prove he was worthy of the lady's hand in marriage.
>This shocks everybody, duels out of nowhere are unexpected.
>Johna asks the Inquisitor for permission, prompting the suitor to try to insult him.
>The Inquisitor gives permission for a duel to first blood. An area in the centre of the room is cleared for the duel.
>Johna takes a short sword.
>The suitor takes a power sword.
>Yes, he can do that, so Johna instead trades down to a pair of Kulkuris
>The duel begins as the two enter their starting positions.
>The suitor charges with a battle cry that sounds like a posh English man getting fisted.
>Johna throws his knifes right off the bat.
>The knifes hit the suitor in the left leg and right shoulder. And he keels over, bleeding badly.
>As medicae run over to the wounded man, Johna turns to the assembled officials and smartly bows. Before walking back over to the Governor's daughter and continuing with his conversation with her.
>Commissars are staring with the look of hungry sharks
>the planetary governor is looking over with a look of contempt.
>A few posh people are glaring daggers at him.
>DeySeeMeRollin.gif
>Eventually the end of the night arrives and quite possibly the biggest hurdle for a guardsman.
>Ballroom dancing.
>Not to worry, It's not like anyone will ask me for a dance.
>Right?

>>38559305
I feel like the majority of your time typing this is spent thinking up references and clever lines.

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>>38559305
Well, that one guy with the powersword wanted to tango, so I can guess the answer is noo

>>38559367
Don't go ruining it now

>>38559305
Oh god this is amazing please continue!

>>38559305
It's escalating...

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>>38559305
Dat sideboob tho.

I'm not complaining, mind you!

>>38558657
>>Johna is convinced that the pistol included in his dress uniform are sufficient enough. And he can't replace the pistol with his hellpistol.
Plastic explosives molded to look like your medals or other inconspicuous objects. Missed opportunity.

>>38559305
I fully expected the weapon one upmanship to continue.

>>38559305
Oh gosh

>>38559367
I'm a slow typer, and you can't rush a good tale.
>>38559903
The Inquisitor spesifically said not to lace the medals with explosives so that we didn't look "questionable"
>>38559305
>Wrong
>The governor's daughter asks if I want to dance.
>Tell her that I was just about to suggest that. (Wasn't really going too, I never asked for this)
>Roll high to not fuck up and not look classy.
>After three dances, the night ends, I bid her goodnight and leave.
>During the ride back, the Inquisitor tells me that I did a good job at being classy
>Alrighty.png
>Arrive at the apartment, change from classy clothes to sleeping clothes and crash hard.
>Wake up and go about with daily routine.
>Shit continues normally, though Janice hasn't arrived so things are good.
>Eventually, the day of the handover arrives, A grand ass event with press and officials.
>The event broke down as a ceremonial crowning by a Cardinal followed by another grand ball, this time with press and Ecclesiarch officials.
>This involves looking fancy.
>Get a set of "Special" orders just for Johna.
>In short, He had to act as a bodyguard for the Governor's daughter by masquerading as her Suitor.
>In response to this, He was given a temporary promotion to Colonel and a power sword and hell-pistol as dress equipment.
>Is this Inquisitor serious?
>No worries, not like there's going to be an attack. There's like a full regiment of Imperial guard on protection duty.
>Nothing bad will happen.

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>>38560150

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>>38560150
4chan ate the pic, here it is

>>38560150
Jesus christ, power swords are getting tossed around like candy.

>>38560150
Oh man. Catfight soon?

The rogue trader story sort of sounds like "things that didn't happen" to me.
Not that I care, it's still an entertaining story and wether real or not, anon should continue.

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>>38542811

>running Rise of the Runelords
>That Guy plays slutty female summoner
>mfw The Skinsaw Murders

GHAST RAPE GHAST RAPE WOOOOHOHOHO-HOO

>>38560150
Yesh.

>>38560464
As a storyteller is your sacred duty to take all the liberties you need with truth in order to make your story better and so far it's working. So carry on, good sir!

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>>38560150
>Nothing bad will happen.

>>38542811
Is it off limits to mention non-romantic ones?

Once, in a homebrew, the party's BBEG (well. . . BBGG? Sorta?) was ancient wizard type with magical Alzheimers who, due to the PC's description and the ancient's failed disease resistance checks, came to see one of the PC's as his grandchild.

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>>38560222
This is the Inquisition. Power swords are mandatory.
>>38560464
Neither false or Rouge Traider nor False. It's a true tale of a Dark Heresy game. The GM liked having some of our choices coming back to bite us. Not shooting Janice dead was one such choice.
>>38560150
>The day of the handover.
>wake up at 05:00, get ready with everything fully cleaned, ready to leave at 06:15
>Arrive at the governor's palace at 06:30, final equipment check at 07:00
>Meet with the Governor's daughter at 07:05
>She remarks that Johna look's nice, he returns the sentiment.
>The whole thing starts at 08:00
>Spend time with the Governor's daughter, actually learn that the government is sort of like a monarchy. With her being the Princess.
>Worry.gif
>At 08:00 sharp, the transport to the Ceromony arrives.
>It's a convoy of open topped cars escorted by Praetoran rough riders.
>The route is 3 miles, lined with cheering supporters and he's expected to look friendly as opposed to a shaved baboon in a suit.
>Our car is the fourth one in the convoy. First one is carrying the Planetary governor, his wife, the Inquisitor and the team medic.
>The second contains his first son/prince and his wife.
>The third contains his second son/prince and his wife.
>The car behind ours carries security guards.
>As the cars pass down the street, the Governor's daughter/Princess waves with her right hand while clutching Johna's hand with the other.
>But Johna knows how to put on a straight face and grin and bear the pressure
>eventually, the convoy arrives at the Cathedral that shall be used for the coronation.
>Everyone files into the building and sits on the benches
>The cameras roll, lengthy prayers and speeches are told. Then, finally. The governor is crowned.
>It comes as just as much of a shock when he explodes.

>>38561100
>It comes with just as much of a shock when he explodes

Goddamnit. Isn't that how it always is?

>>38561100
>It comes as just as much of a shock when he explodes.
Don';t you just hate it when that happens?
Ruins the atmosphere.
Blood everywhere.
Such an inconvenience.

>>38542811
Awesome! Perfect grounds for gaining access to a secret villain's hideout, gadgets, npc ally and some drama (you only wanted me for hideout and gadgets/I used to but I love you for real now/I don't believe you/I love you too/*kiss*/defeat bbeg together/sunset and happily everafter)

>>38561100
>dubs
nice.

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>>38561100
Bueno.png Please continue.

bump

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>>38561100
>Well, when I say HE, explodes. I mean that EVERYTHING within a meter of him was turned to a fine powder
>And of course, when something explodes. Shit hits the fan.
>Johna Immediately force the Princess down as people start shooting.
>People Screaming as people are shooting them.
>He promptly pick up the Princess and run over to the the Inquisitor and the rest of the unit. Easily getting the award for "most overdressed bodyguard".
>Turning around many nobles were lying dead and dying as someone poured into the stands with a heavy weapon. All the princes are dead.
>Everyone Instantly decides to try to get the fuck out, not getting killed.
>Then a familiar voice drifts through the now silent cathederal.
>"Darling.. Where are you~"
>Are you having a fucking giggle M8
>Insert jokes about Miss Janice Petrov, resident Stalker and crazy lady.
>Everyone promptly goes full splinter cell, sneaking past the heavily armoured troopers while Their commander tried to persuade me to join her and leave the other Harlots behind.
>The shit He puts up with.
>Eventually, everyone arrives at the garrage.
>We find out what has happened outside the cathedral.
>Remember that Suitor that Johna beat in a fair duel? Yeah, his family had enough political sway to pull a Coup. And now we were in deep shit.
>Just another day at the Inquisition 'eh?

>>38562283
Aw wut.
That is some deep bullshit.
Still, I love your DM and your storytelling.

>>38562283
Yep, you're fucked.

>>38562283
Please please someone screenshot this I can't get to my computer

>>38557733
>A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
>And a demolitions expert at a dead run outranks everybody.

>>38562512
All of it or just this one?

>>38562618
Just the dark heresy one please

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>>38562317
The only person expecting her was The guy who was ALWAYS paranoid.
>>38562984
That would be everything posted and everything yet to come.
>>38562283
>we Promptly decide that the best place to go is the space port, we can get a shuttle, get up to the ship in orbit and find out what the fuck is happening.
>The Princess is in shock from watching her family be blown to ribbons.
>The Inquisitor is having a bit of bench removed from his face.
>Johna is worried.
>We take back streets through the hive to get to the spaceport
>Made slightly hard by the veritable fuck-tonne of Coup forces.
>We eventually arrive that the spaceport, our shuttle pilot waiting with the engines running.
>Janice is also waiting with her unit and a mobile SAM unit. If we try to take off then we are fucked.
>Team devides into two teams
>Team A takes the Inquisitor and The Princess to the Extraction
>Team B Rigs the SAM with high explosives.
>Johna joins team B because he is the demolitions trooper.
> Promptly sneaking to the SAM, Team B finds that there's a large number of troops defending it,
>They need a distraction in order to get close enough to destroy it.
>Their solution is stolen off a a dead enemy trooper.
>The solution of course is a rocket launcher.
>They run to the roof, ready the launcher to fire.
>And a few seconds later, the SAM is a burning pile of scrap.
>Team B runs back to the extraction zone.
>As they run through the space port, they arrive at the Terminal, Things are looking good.
>Then Johna gets shot in the leg.
.

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>>38563224
>Then Johna gets shot in the leg.

>>38563224
How are you so slow?

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>>38563224
Yep, you're fucked. I called it. Cya nerd!

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>>38563224
>As they run through the space port, they arrive at the Terminal, Things are looking good.
>Then Johna gets shot in the leg.

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>>38563224
>Then Johna gets shot in the leg.

>>38563224
So hype!

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>>38563224
>Then Johna gets shot in the leg.

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>>38563339
Piss off

>>38563489
>an entire hour between posts is acceptable during storytime

>>38563506
You're free to leave, shitposter.

>>38563528
What happened to this place? /tg/ has seriously gone down in quality over the past couple of years. I can't believe you've gotten to the point where calling someone out for doing a terrible job of greentexting a story is "shitposting". I've been noticing outsiders faffing about in here too. You guys used to be fun and interesting. Now it's just fragile egos, a shocking amount of ignorance, and cancerous quest threads.

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>>38563339
>>38563506
There are such things as "Delays" Though if that's too much for you, you can leave. No-one is stopping you
>>38563224
>So of course, Johna collapses like a sack of potatoes while everyone else dives into cover.
>"Darling, why are you running?" Janice wonders aloud.
>Yeah, We all know who that is so let's not waste time adding in what she is.
>At the very sound of her voice, the two other members of the team, The Stormtrooper and The Armsman both start shooting.
>Under the cover of gunfire, Johna drags himself behind a ticket booth.
>"Darling why must you hurt me like this?" Janice asks.
>More gunfire as her comrades run to assist.
>"Darling please, I just want to protect you!" She wails.
>Johna is still trying to turn his formal uniform's left sleeve into a bandage.
>The enemy starts getting closer, so Johna starts putting shots at the enemy.
>He doesn't hit anything but it's enough to get the enemy to stay still long enough for his more healthy and unwounded comrades to be able to kill them.
>Johna manages to drag himself behind the desk that the rest of his team is hiding behind.
>After a few more turns of throwing grenades and shooting things, enemy fire has let up enough to be able to leg it to the corridor that leads to the shuttle.
>They take the opportunity, the stormtrooper helping Johna along the way.
>As they escape, a few enemies stand up, only to get dropped a few seconds later.
>They practically run down the corridor.
>As they near the end. Janice dives out of a door, Rifle raised.
>She is Quick, but Johna is quicker, he swings a punch.
>And something breaks

>>38563926
>her heart breaks

>>38563926
Ya know i'm kinda starting to feel bad for Janice....

>>38542811
My last campaign's big bads were Space Hitler, two different married men (whose families we were friends with), a hivemind of all the worst souls in hell, a psychotic death cult leader, and my character's clone. I don't know which pairing is worse.

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>>38563926
Go on~

>>38563839
/tg/ has "gone down in quality for the past couple of years" for about six years. And while I agree with you about the quest threads, there really is nothing keeping you in this thread.

>>38563839
Or perhaps we simply have the brain capacity to amuse ourselves with other things and recognize that delays happen like rational fucking people.

The only one displaying an ego right now is you. Kindly fuck off.

>>38563839
Some of us are capable of patience, brohiem. Not you, clearly, but some of us. You know, no one here is being paid to entertain you, this shit is provided for free. You should learn to appreciate that. Or leave. You could do that too.

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>>38563926
Remember when I said that something Broke?
>>38563949
This guy predicted it.
>The moment his fist hit her face, she finally clicks.
>She didn't understand why he ran before, why he didn't want to join her even though her terms seemed reasonable to her.
>And now, in this moment of pain induced clarity. She finally understands what caused him to run.
>He wasn't playing hard to get, he wasn't being ordered away by someone with a gun to his back.
>She was terrifying him with her single minded devotion.
>She had a sneaking suspicion of what that would mean, but now her worst fears were revealed to be true. And all of this is realised in under a second.
>And that broke harder than even her hardened mind could tolerate.
>She sprawled on the floor from the force of the blow and sobbed.
>She drew her legs into the fetal position like a child trying to hide from reality itself. And sobbed.
>"I'm sorry..." She muttered. Her voice barely above the wisper of autumn leaves being blown across the ground.The tone of her voice stopping the trio, it was the voice of a soul broken.
>"I tried... so hard to do what was best. I powered on through life... not caring about the next day..." She spoke up, the odd sob breaking her contemplation..
>"I had nothing left, only a unit that only just trusted me." Her voice quivered as she tried to overcone her sorrow.
>"Then one day I saw a man who looked just like he had been through the same as me...." Her voice raised slightly, like she was remembering a fond memory.
>"And In the start, I just acknowledged him with passing curiosity. But as time progressed, he met all expectation and I became interested in him. Perhaps too much." She still had her head buried in her knees.
>"Then one day, I mustured the courage to approached him. he seemed so nice, he treated me so nicely. When he bested me, he gave his prize to me. When I was terrified, he stood tall and protected me." She fondly remembered.
CONT

There's a thin line between love and hate.

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>>38564687

>>38564687
>she's faking it

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>>38564687

>>38564756
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jTuKHKIT4w

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>>38564687

>>38564687
What madness lurks in your dm's mind anon?

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>>38564687

>>38549683
That exact act is on my bucket list.

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>>38564687

>>38565171
Any preference for temple / church or anything will do?

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>>38564687
Aww, I'm actually feeling bad for her.

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>>38564687
>"When we were connected together in that giant swing, I clutched to you because I was so scared, while you were so calm." The top of he backpack snapped open from strain, a familiar bear concealed inside. She reached over and brought it closer to her.
>"Then we had that meal, the best day of my life coming close to an end and I wanted to run away with you, leave behind the cards given to me and start new." Her voice was now dreamy. Her broken spirit trying to clutch to whatever source of happiness it could find.
>"Then when the power went, you disappeared, I couldn't see you. And when my eyes adjusted to the darkness, you weren't there. Then the shelling started, I piled onto my ship with as many civilians as could get aboard before the habs took a direct hit." Her voice now began to falter.
>"And of every of the ships that escaped, you weren't on them. I didn't want to believe that you wee gone." Her voice continued to crack as she continued remembering their little trilogy from her perspective.
>"I tried to forget you, push it to the back of my mind and focus on what was around. Then one day, a shuttle arrives. And then guess who walked off in body armour?" Janice reflected.
>"I orchestrated it all, there were so many times where we could have ambushed you and taken you alive but unhappy... No I wanted to give you a choice... But I got carried away. I said things I didn't mean and regretted later." She reflected, her voice stained with regret.
>"And when you were gone, I had lost more than just you. I'd lost nearly everyone who trusted me. We bounced around trying to get by. My chances of seeing you again were so slim." Her voice was barely audible.
>"Then, when we were here to assassinate the Governor and his family, we set-up and waited. Then, by what I related to a gift from the emperor himself, You were there, The Impossible had happened and for a moment I was happy." Her voice raised again, punctuated with the warmth of happiness.

>>38565703
Please don't be a downer ending for her.....

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>>38565703
Imma wait all week for an update. Your GM is a god to me.

>>38565703
>>38565472
>>38564863

Y'all are insane.

Bitch wanted to take his arms and legs and shit off, and used the threat of turning his friends into fucking servitors while they were conscious to get him to buy into it. I don't give a fuck how sad she is, she's clearly insane and a menace.

Give her a sugar cube, pet her on the head, and then put the nutjob down before she can do anymore damage.

>>38566068
>there'll be lots of rabbits, George
>and you can pet them as much as you want

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>>38565703
Shit man...I'm tearing up.....

>>38565703
ARGH
[Spoiler] I am not a robot... [/spoiler]

>>38566084
Exactly. Say you're sorry, tell her you've always loved her and forgive her and that you can both run off together. Keep talking her up, draw your sidearm while she isn't looking, and put one in the back of her head. Let her go out on a high note.

>>38566068
> "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
Friedrich Nietzsche

>>38566178
And the even more famous example if you ask me!
>"Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!"
Dr. Zoidberg

>>38566178
>>38566216

Is this the mentality of people that keep tigers as housepets? And are then eaten by said housepets?

Enjoy your psycho waifu. Enjoy waking up as a quadruple amputee or just straight up dead when she snaps.

>>38566453
Some people are so starved for companionship, especially the much-sought-after romantic variety, that they would risk it.

The dumb, dumb motherfuckers.

>>38566480
Rule #1, Don't stick your dick in crazy

>>38566480
Agreed.

I applaud this guy's DM for doing a wonderful job and himself for sharing the story, but if that psycho doesn't end up dead you've fucked up, bruh.

>>38566453
Personally I just feel compassion far too strongly for my own liking...
I wouldn't chase that, because holy shit, but I'd feel bad for her regardless.

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Sorry about the wait, Sky(broadband) was fucking up
>>38565703
>But for some reason, when I saw you with the Governor's daughter, I felt an unexplainable rage at her. I thought she had corrupted you. I wanted nothing more than to rend her asunder like the saints of old. And when we attacked I could not understand why you would try and protect her. Maybe you were under orders to protect her?" She wondered.
>"We searched for you, for anyone. But try as we might, all that was found was a pair of altar boys in the Cardinals room." She continued. No-one was surprised by the last part.
>"We-redeployed here, partially to try to stop you if you tried to run. Partially to try and stop your charge from leaving the planet." She continued. Her voice starting to break as her memories lead to their most recent addition.
>"When the SAM was destroyed, we gave chase, I ordered my men to shoot to wound, not kill. Even if it wasn't you. We were able to stop you for a time and I begged you to stop Darling. But you continued fighting." Her voice continued to falter like the will of a conscript sandwiched between an enemy gun emplacement and a commissar.
>"A-And then I... I tried to flank around behind you... I-I wanted to try and stop the fighting non-lethally, I just wanted you to be safe with me... a-and then I c-came round the corner and y-you..." The strain of remembering became too much for her and she broke, great howling wails escaping her.
> No-one was sure if they should approach and comfort the apparently crazy lady. Sure they could see why she had done what she had done. She'd been pushed too far and just wanted some-one to comfort her. But they all remembered her threat at the weapons plant.
>"I-I love you, I would burn with a smile for you. But I remember what I've done to you and your friends. Why would you want me?" She said with a dead voice as she pulled a straight, silver blade and pressed the tip against her chest.

>>38566529
>Rule #1, Don't stick your dick in crazy
What are you anon? A pansy? I guess thats why you browse imageboards about tabletop games.

YOU'RE TOO AFRAID TO LIVE LIFE

I've stuck my dick in crazy a few times.

Best dick sticking I've done.

I got stabbed once, in the forearm, but I got a tan, forgot about the scar.

LIVE LIFE, DAMN YOU.

>>38566613
Did you also get your arms and legs cut off so she could keep you in a box and prevent anything from coming between you and her as she took care of you?

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>>38566597

>>38566597
OHSHIT.jpg

>>38566529
>>38566613
Both of you are correct and both of you are wrong. There's various kinds of crazy, flavors if you will. Some can be fun to stick with (and into), some are to be avoided. And it takes crazy to know a crazy. So for a normal people it's best to avoid them all, because the risk of picking wrong one is just too dire. But if you've gazed into the abyss yourself and had it gaze back at you, there's plenty of fun to be had even with the crazies. Especially with the crazies.

>>38566662
I had an Ex who got me fired from my job, kicked out of my apartment, and then she gave me the flu so I would stay at her place.

I ended up living with her for a year or so.

She really knew how to cook.

A lot of crazy chicks do.

>>38566597
She's obviously a lord of change.
Purge her.

>>38566662
That's a thread on /d/, by the way.

>>38565703
She just needs a good dicking.
Do it Johna. For the greater good.

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>This thread

>>38566740
>And then she gave me the flu

How? I want to know her delivery method because that is so hilariously insane. Wasn't there an episode of 2 and a half men like that?

>>38566775
>For the greater good.
Kill the tau serving heretic!

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>>38566775
>For the greater good.
Hello there, citizen.

>>38566811

How the fuck is 'kidnap and surgically amputate all four limbs' an acceptable reaction to getting rejected? Motherfucker she is crazy. It's not the fault of whoever provokes her because you can't not provoke her because she's fucking crazy.

>>38566764
Figures. I was asking whether it was this guy's definition of "living life" though.

>>38566802
>>38566806
Wow. You guys picked up on that a lot faster than I expected.
I just wanted all the filthy human guardsmen dead/limbless! :,(

>>38566797
Well, I can't prove it, but when I was kicked out of my apartment (she spread the word around that I liked little girls, apparently) I needed a place to crash. She let me stay at her place, but she went to go buy some food.

She asked me to watch her sisters kids, little grubby, playful kids, while she went to go shopping. I played with them, made them food, when she came back, drove them home. Next day, I was sick as a damn dog. She said it might have been the kids, since her sister told her over the phone they had it as well.

Back then, I just chalked it up to bad luck, but now? I'm sure she planned it.

>>38566453
Just because I feel bad for her doesn't mean I would want to live with her. Shit, I felt bad for Sweeney Todd too, and he was a literal serial killer.

>>38566841
I never said that it was his fault. Just that things wouldn't have reached that "amputate all limbs" point if he just indulged her before she started getting increasingly more crazy.
Crazy people generally have some kind of internal logic that lets them justify their actions as "not crazy" to themselves. Recognize that logic and it's not actually hard to keep a mentally unstable person under control.

>>38566985
Not my brother's keeper, brah.

>>38566985
Even crazy people can often be talked out of actually acting upon the craziest of the ideas. Proper communication can soothe a lot and there's never too late for it. Well maybe if the room is already on fire, that's the part where I'd honestly favor running.

>>38567008
>that's the part where I'd honestly favor running.
Especially if you're the demolitions trooper.

>>38566597
my friend, where do you play?

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>>38566597
>Johna's tale is one of bittersweet, his regiment's very nature seemingly endorsed losses, his friends ended up cycled out of his unit into others which ended up lost to either enemy AA or being overwhelmed on the ground. He was then stolen away from what was left by a shadow organisation that erased his past life.
>He'd watched friends be eaten alive by 'Nid swarms. Packed hab blocks flattened for strategic reasons and entire army groups thrown into a meat grinder front just to delay the enemy long enough for Astartes to come over and steal the credit.
>He was sick and tierd of watching people die. He wanted nothing more than to go the fuck home, settle down an live peacefully on the hazard pay he'd earned in his life.
>He knew that there was a time to wait, to act and to run. His speciality demanded it.
>And now was a time to fucking ACT!
>What happened next was a duel of speed, Wounded against emotionally and mentally fatigued.
>As the blade moved into position, his wounded leg swung into action.
>His foot connected with her knife hand and knocked the knife down the hall.
>And before she could try and retrieve it or hurt herself, he slammed down next to her, and dragged her into his chest.
>She sobbed hard, clutching onto him with the force of a powerlifter, anchoring herself to him while she sobbed into his chest.
>It wasn't enough. It wasn't even close to enough. But it was more than anything she had been given before.
>They had to move a short time later, both of them supporting each other to the shuttle.

>>38549258
>This is how I Paladin

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>>38567687
Beautiful.....

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>>38567687
this is so awesome

>>38545081
>not declining to genetive case for negation
absolutely cheeki breeki

>>38567687
Aww yisss
captcha was hybro

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>>38567687
I DEMAND A SCREENCAP OF THIS. I HAVE TO SAVE THE TALE OF JOHNA AND JANICE.

This is the kind of tale I want to put my players through. I hope you bought your DM a drink.

>>38567687
but what about the cat ears?

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>>38567687

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>>38567687
>Snuggling with Heretics
You best be about to put her down softly, or it's burn time Heretic.

>>38568153
where it is from?

>>38568204
Crona from Soul Eater.

>>38566764
Ah, I was wondering why that seemed so familiar.

>>38568204
Soul Eater.

Don't watch it.

Its not worth it just for that pink-haired trap.

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>>38567687

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>>38567687
She got better, in time. There were no psychotic episodes, no-one lost limbs, people didn't disappear. The mental scars could be covered, but they still remained. They remained married in "cannon" when the GM ended that campaign. I'll post a full epilogue soon-ish.
First, some quick Q&A:
>>38567261
We used to play in Andover, just outside of reading in England. But the group died when we split up for Uni
>>38568048
Those were genetic, thankfully however, they were a recessive trait (wasn't passed down to children).
>>38568167
>Heretic.
Didn't worship Chaos, sure she might have been rebellious, but in the area of space we were in, PMCs arising for protection were not unheard of.

>>38568237
>Not watching soult eater

Man, Soul Eater is a fun ride. Even though it goes all over the place and has a shit ending

>>38567687
I require a good capper to save this story for me.
NOW

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>>38568237
>Not watching Soul Eater.

>>38568346
Thanks for taking the time to share, anon. Enjoyed the story time immensely.

heed my words /tg/, i request a cap of this history!

>>38568365
>>38568497
It was alright. I won't pretend it didn't have its moments.

But holy shit, Maka was the most unlikeable bitch ever.

Just killed the entire thing for me.

>>38568511
Hey, you can have whatever you want when you learn how to use capital letters like a big boy.

>>38568511
do it yourself, fag

>>38568365
Only reason it has a shit ending is because they ran out of funding for the anime. Manga is still pretty cool.

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>>38568346
SIr.For your duty to /tg/ for posting an awesome heartwarming story,I salute you!
>Mfw...Captcha:ATOne......

>>38568346
ah, I see. Sorry to hear that. I moved to London a few months ago and have been dying for a 40k group. If any of you is around and still has time for such sort of follies..

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>>38568346
EPILOGUE:
After a whole admin bullshit, Janice was allowed into Johna's custody until her psychological condition could be evaluated. When the tests rolled around, she passed with a simple side note saying "KEEP JOHNA NEAR". And despite what happened before, she was allowed to be kept around, serving as personal maid/off-mission companion to Johna.

When the "Endgame" passed, The pair were sent back to Bagratian to live out a civilian life. Both of them undergoing regenerative treatment twice, one covered by the inquisition, another using money that they both had thanks to large amounts of hazard pay.

They both had 5 children together, 3 of which lead successful careers in the Imperial guard. And one joining an Adeptus Astartes Chapter. Their Linage remains to this day as one of the finest military families on Bagratian. They both wrote biographies, which gained massive popularity.

_______________________________________

I'd personally like to thank all the Anons who have kept with me and read this tale.

Gentlemen, It has been an honour to write for you this day.

>>38568946
Fucking sick fam

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>>38568946
Was good stuff. I stayed up specifically to read it.

Hopefully a screen cap anon can get a picture of the tale done before we hip page ten, if not the we'll just save the thread the sup/tg/'s archive so that it cannot be forgotten.

>>38568946
Thanks anon. I'm glad I stuck around to witness this.

This was the first 40k story I've ever seen that wasn't a retarded, circle jerk of "LOLHERESY!!!" bullshit.

Thanks for the story, anon. For the first time ever, I actually feel like I could enjoy playing that game if everyone I know would lay off the stupid memes for a fucking hour.

Seriously, learn from this guy, /tg/. Less HERESY!animu autism, more quality posting.

Yes, we get it, the war against xenos and Chaos are a big deal in the setting.
Yes, we get it, the empire is terrified of the day when the Emperor dies.
NO, not fucking everything has to be about some retarded, generic anime chick yelling "BLOOD FOR THE GODDAMN BLOODGOD," you asslicking, dicksucking, cummunching, childmolesting, dograping zealots.

>>38569102
this image makes my eyes hurt trying to understand the anatomy
also that gun is horrific.

>>38569384
>baaaaw
Oh, shut up, you dunce.

File: Janice Petrov 1.jpg (535 KB, 1366x1141)

535 KB JPG

Posting from my phone as my desktop now hates 4chan for some reason