Previously on Modern Knight Quest: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Modern%20Knight%20QuestCharacter Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10iCEaALQb3zfIIlg89FMGaJ3WzvHeGX2gkDuYOWKcFU/edit?usp=docslist_apiTwitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/accountYou are Sir Aldrich Brickvelt, Knight errant and humble crusader, and you have been transported, by what you do not know, to the far future and a place called 'New York'. You have found companionship and aid in a maiden, scholar Lisa DeRetti, and a captured saracen warrior, Badi al Zaram, who has provided you clues as to how you came to this strange land. Now armed with knowledge you and your companions try to find a way to return you to your time.
I want to hear from you anons where you want to see the quest go next
Let's report to the queen
Are you out of ideas or something?
>>37707882I didn't intend for there to be much of a plot. But now I have a lot of potential plot. I have my ideas on what I would like to have happen but I would like to see what other folks have to say.
Well for one, we still know literally nothing about New York and America, and we are all still liable to go and murder a random mudslime and/or heretic in the streets as an act of chivalry so there is definitely all of that left, as is the whole Museum of Natural History, the crusader thing, and all of that.
>>37707670Let's speak with our host. Perhaps she might have an idea where we find the damn sorcerer is.
>>37708567still namefagged, my apology
>>37707670 You are waken by the monotonous screech of the box that makes the food hot. You bolt upright, a blanket sliding off you. 'How long have I spumbered?' You ask yourself. You see Lisa cooking what must be breakfast in the kitchen And you hear the steady rush of water in the bathroom. You see that the book on European History is still there.>>Go back to sleep, sloth isn't a sin in a godless land>>Talk to Lisa >>Check the bathroom>>Go back to reading your book>>Write in
>>37708603Dropped me trip 'n such.
>>37707915Well you got time travel, evil wizards summoning demons, and the only reason I know medieval Europe isn't at stake is because the future isn't a hellscape from his magics. Main Knight either tries to quest his way home or become a crusader of JUSTICE in modern times against the evil magics of today!I dunno you got plenty of material to create something with here!
>>37708603>WHERE'S THE MUSLIM ??!!
>>37708603>Talk to LisaPolite knight is polite and Chivalrous.
>>37708603>Talk to LisaWish her a good morning and ask her what shes making. >>37708657 clearly in the restroom.
>>37708589>>37708567YOU! You were the bastard who trolled the crap out of RCQ with fake mini quest to rustle purist jimmies!I like you!
>>37708667Clearly. But I meant why is he not tied to a chair in our line of sight ?
>>37707733>>37707915I started reading the last thread just before it fell off the board and haven't catched up in the archives, but I really like the idea, and so far the execution is good.I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes.
>>37708672I don't even think Whiskey minded that much, so long as I wasn't blatantly impersonating him he seemed fine with it. But yes, I will write HUEHUEHUE deaths and/or horrific circumstances for critfails.
>>37708603>>Talk to Lisa
>>37708814Hey I just liked how you managed to drive those butts who kept whining off. Seriously it was getting annoying with those guys. anyway.>>37708603>Talk to LisaBest to at least say good morn and all that.
>>37709136Well I'm glad my trolling was actually appreciated, and I'm suprised people fell for it. Although, so long as the QM does not directly object to my trolling, I will continue to make HUEHUEHUE deaths or falls into the warp until such a time as I am asked to stop.
>>37708750I'm notoriously slow. And I'm going to rustle some pots and pans here soon making things go even slower. So you'll have time to catch up.>>37708667>>37708664You set aside the blanket, folding it messily. As you get up every bone ands muscle in your body groans in protest. Painfully aware of how sore you are, you shuffle over to your host. You try not to mark such things but you could not help but linger on her noticably robust posterior for a little longer than is proper... "Good morrow Lady Lisa. How do you fare?" "I'm well. Better.""Does the night previous still perturb you m'lady?""Only slightly. I know why you had to do it but still...It's just not something I think I can get used to...">>I see>>I'm sorry>>where is the Muslim>>What are you cooking?>>What are we doing today?>>Write in
>>37709257>I'm sorry>What are you cooking?
>>37709257Well don't we obviously come from different eras. Hell after giving the arab his swirly of doom he was kinda chill and understanding. She acts like we kicked the pope over and shit on his face or something!
>>37709368Liberal new yorker. Also it hits pretty close to home. I mean, we basically waterboarded him. A little familiar isn't it? I mean, Ser Aldrich probably wouldn't understand the sensitivity out of context but he could also chalk it up to her just being a woman
>>37709257>I'm notoriously slowI once quested with a guy who took an hour to make a single story post. And it didn't detract much from my enjoyment.Take as long as you need. Quality over quantity and all that.>"I am sorry, M'lady. Hopefully, such methods will not be necessary in the future."
>>37709368When it comes to ""Enhanced"" interrogation techniques, the Middle ages was where shit really became scary. They went for the most painful methods, such as flaying of skin, something that would be EXTREMELY painful and would slowly kill you, either from bloodloss or sepsis. Alternatively other methods included forcing rats in a cage to burrow into a persons skin or the old fashioned coffin of nails, where if you move AT ALL you will stab yourself on them. What we did to him is kiddy play compared to all of that. Don't ask why I know all about medieval torture I was a sick child.
>>37709462Yeah, as much shit as I've given you, I appreciate quality over quantity, even if I occasionally question your sexuality and/or activities behind the scenes.
>>37709469Or the motherfucking bull
>>37709257>>37709286>>37709467 You hang your head for a moment, "I am sorry, M'lady. Hopefully, such methods will not be necessary in the future.""It's okay. If your going to have to get your home by force that's fine I guess, it's better for you to go back to your time.""Indeed. So what is that there?" you ask, hoping to change the subject."Bacon and eggs, I'm cooking some extra eggs for Badi, what with his diet and all. Did you sleep well?">>Where IS the muslim?>>Mmmm Bacon>>I had a nightmare>>I slept well>>What's goin on in the bathroom>>After this?
>>37709907>>Mmmm Bacon>>I slept well>Read a book knigga
>>37709907>>What do we do after thisis what I meant also>>Write InWhich you guys should do more. I don't prewrite anything so it doesn't matter
>>37709907>"My sleep was... not as restful as I'd have liked. At any rate, I will continue to read while you cook. should you need anything, just call me."
>>37709907>>I had a nightmare
>>37709469okay about the coffin of nails the Iron Maiden as it were that never existed no really it was it was invented in the 1800s to show off how primitive people used to be
>>37709907mention he is muslim and probs wont eat the bacon
>>37710887>Slowly eat bacon while staring him directly in the eyes
>>37711044that works too
>>37710144>>37710065>>37709959"My sleep was... not as restful as I'd have liked. At any rate, I will continue to read while you cook. should you Require my aid I shall be over there, reading."She looks at the table with the book and map on it, "Oh goodnes, you haven't read about the crusades have you?" "Nay, why would I not?" You ask."It can be a little...judgemental..">>Read Murican history >>Europoor history >>Asian History >>Read a different book>>Write in.
>>37711070>Europoor historyMan, after all those crusades Byzantium must be THRIVING now, I would bet the byzantine empire has become a true powerhouse in the modern world.
>>37711070>Read on the crisis going on in the world >Use our 19 INT brain to figure out a solution >???>Profit
>>37711232Were 19 int medieval time, we have no sense of current events and would likely have a MASSIVE int penalty for trying to understand current events. Especially because knowledge ≠ wisdom.
>>37711133Oh god this.Our confusion level at the antics of the fourht crusade will be off the charts, as will out FUCKING RAGE at the western world and pope allowing the city-and hagia sophia-to fall to the turks.The greatest cathedral in the world, made a mosque.We'll likely through the muslim off a bridge when we find that out.
>>37711777Crusade for Constantinople when?
>>37712206clearly you mean Istanbul. People jut liked it better that way
>>37709136Oh by the way, on not so obviously stated request from Whiskey, I will be changing future HUEHUEHUE posts to be horrific death stories as opposed to mini quests. You'll still get a HUEHUEHUE death post, just not a mini quest. Autosage or something like that.
>>37712654>>37712206Istanbul was ConstantinopleNow it's Istanbul, not ConstantinopleBeen a long time gone, ConstantinopleNow it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
>>37713280Even old new York was once new ambsterdam
>>37711112>>37711133>>37711133>>37711157 4chins wasn't letting me post for some reason You walk over to the low table and the book.>>Start from where you were>>Read about recent history >>Actually read the crusades part>>Wrote in
>>37714657Recapcha shitting out for you too? Try copying everything, closing out, and post a reply as a second attempt. >Start from where you were.
>>37714657>>Start from where you wereDamn,worth the wait. Thanks OP
>>37714657>>Actually read the crusades part>Pic related is our face afterwards
>>37714657Did you take this long to type that or did 4chan just eat your post?>Start from where you were
>>37714739>not letting the rage build the further we read then finally strangling the muslim
>>37714754>>37714721It used to be a much more involved post but it never posted. Not quite sure what happened
>>37714799shit nigga write it in notebook+ then copy paste it
>>37714755But we need to be polite and well educated while we strangle the shit out of him.He IS an ally now.>"I'm sorry about that, chap. You see I've read about some very upsetting things that happened after the siege of Acre and I have to unwind somehow. I hope you understand.">*PainedWhimpering*>"Glad you're so understanding!"
>>37714830Look dude, I'm fucking stupid, okay?Also I'm on mobile
>>37714880>mobileThat explains EVERYTHING
>>37714717>>37714721>>37714754 You take Lisa's advice and skip over the crusades. You soon thank yourself for doing so, for the next few chapters are dedicated to a massive overall decline! The Papacy becoming corrupt! The dissolution of the Knights Templar, the fall of kingdoms. Absolutely, rage inducing! Who in God's name allowed these people to have smallest modicum of power?!The bathroom door opens and a much cleaner and happier Badi walks out, hair still wet but his wearing new clothes same as you. What is lady Lisa doing with gentleman's attire?Lisa gives him a plate, he thanks her in English surprisingly enough.She walks over and hands you one as well. >>Thank her>>Ask her about the book, because it's obvious full of shit>>Ask where Badi got the new clothes >>Ask what Badi was doing>>Eat your food in angry silence>>Go to the bathroom>>Write in
>>37715304>>Thank her>>Ask her about the book, because it's obvious full of shit
>>37715370>>37715319 She hands you a plate of pig and egg. "Thank you m'lady." You say. She smiles and begins to go back to the kitchen. "Ah, one moment if you will lady Lisa. This book, surely it is gravely mistaken. Byzantium...the papacy...the knight orders...surely all misinterpretation, yes?" She sighs, "I was going to tell you last night...If you'd recall my lesson they where already begining to decline. This is just everything coming full circle. A nasty unfortunate circle but, there it is. If it's any consolation, we've sorted out most of those problems..."It was of no consolation at all.>>Eat in disgruntled silence>>What are we going to do today?>>speak to Badi: "You speak English?">>Ask if Badi was drowning himself>>Read while you eat. Because you enjoy being angry apparently.>>Write In
>>37715705>>Read while you eat. Because you enjoy being angry apparently.We gotta power through it so we know what's up
>>37715705>>Read while you eat. Because you enjoy being angry apparently.Only the cooking of the future can stave of our infinite rage
>>37715705> What are we going to do today?
>>37715754>>37715786 You decide to push on. You must see just how bad it gets, what shadowy future you where deprived off. Much of the royal bloodlines become incestuous cesspools. You where always a supporter of branching out in the bloodlines. Then there was a civil war in England. You put the book down. That's enough for you, simply quite enough. At least the food is good. It pleases you that bacon is universal in its quality. >>Speak with Badi>>Eat in silence>>Read another book>>Ask what the plans are for today >>Write in
>>37716142>>Ask what the plans are for today >>Badi since when do you speak common?
>>37716142>>>Read another book
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>37716180>>37716277 "DeRetti, my plate, for you." Badi chimes in With heavily accented but otherwise adequate english."Since when do speak English, Badi?""For a while.""You never said you did.""Didn't ask." He shrugs, and hands his plate to Lisa.There is a sharp knock at the door. You eye your mace and shield and Badi's blade. On the other side of the room. You pray it's not serious. Lisa looks at the door, peering through a tiny hole. "Oh holy shit. Oh holy fucking shit. I need you too to hide, go into the bathroom, grab up your kit and hide in the tub. GO!" She whispers sharply. You and Badi look at eachother.>>Worry not, we can take who ever is beyond thay door>>Why?>>Okay>>I'd rather hide in your bed>>Write in
>>37716754>>Worry not, we can take who ever is beyond thay door
>>37716754>>>Worry not, we can take who ever is beyond thay door
>>37716754>>Worry not, we can take who ever is beyond thay doorWhen are we going to clean our Armour?
>>37716810>>37716841>>37716864>>37716898>>37716943I was worried I lost you guys.>>37716810>>37716864>>37716898>>37716943 You oblige her, handing her your plate and gathering your weapons and handing Badi his. The two of you squeeze into the bathroom. Lisa sees your apprehension, "Into the fucking tub!" She hisses. Her sudden commanding tone shocking you. You turn to Badi, "You first heathen." You quip jokingly"No, no, please, after you infidel."You sigh, moving the strangely stiff cloth hanging about the side of the basin. You step in, then beckon Badi in. He sighs and rolls his eyes then steps in as well. Lisa bustles in and moves the strange drape back into place, "Get down you too, you mustn't be seen." You eye Badi and he sighs. Both of you crouch down. "Good," Lisa says, "now stay down and stay quiet."She walks out and shuts the door. Silence follows[CONT]
>>37717398It's like 7 AM here and I did not slept You almost lost me
>>37717316Left it at the Met, remember?>>37717498Sorry Anon. But 4chan really fucked me, I couldn't post for a while.
>>37717517Shit, We are no knight without our Armour.
>>37717398>>I never did get to save a fair damsel from teh heathens. Without my king I am but a man- but a man must still do what he can!
>>37717398 You cannot hear much. You can hear the front door open. A man's voice. Then Lisa's. They talk for a moment. Another door opens. More talking. Their voices begin to raise. The bathroom door opens. You hear them."Liz, don't fuckin' lie to me. I know something's up. Five fuckin' years. Five! And then there's the break in, and they said you were there?" The man says, with what you can only assume is the standard American accent. Nasaly, grating, simply butchering the language."Fuck off Lee. What the shit are even lookin' for, huh? I swear ain't nobody here, nobody you gotta worry about, nobody' that would give pa a heart attack." Lisa says, adopting that horrid accent."Oh yeah, like you care 'bout them. Twelve years you hid from 'em. Why you gotta be like this, Liz, fuck!""So what I gotta sort some shit out Lee, find myself whatever. So, what. Fuck outa my apartment, prick.""OH SO SINCE I CARE ABOUT YOU I'M A PRICK NOW, HUH? I CAN FUCKIN' HELP THAT YOU'RE A FUCKIN' LESBO PHSYCO BITCH!""MOTHERFUCKER, GET OUT!""NO. FUCK YOU!"The bathroom door slams shut. You here yet more shouting, less articulate this time. You hear something shatter.>>DEUS VULT >>Stay where you are>>Edge towards the door try and hear what's going on.>>DEUS VULT with Badi>>Come out of the bathroom, see what's going on>>Come out, tell them to shut up>>Write in
>tfw i'm from new york and this doesn't sound so bad but at the same time, deus vult
>>37718013 right.... so liz is a mafia princess
>>DEUS VULT with Badi
>>37718013>>DEUS VULT with BadiTO THEE MAIDENS RESCUE MY HERETICAL FRIEND!
>>37718090I was born there so I know this is pretty average stuff. I live in Baltimore now so I know that it can be much much worse.
>>37718013>LESBO PHSYCO BITCHHa !>Come out, tell them to shut upBecause why not we're a fucking knight
>>37718013sprinkle mouthwash on yourself, flush the toilet and stumble out, playing the hungover friend she brought home. If nothings wrong tell them they're giving you a splitting headache and lie down on the couch.
>>37718013>>DEUS VULT with BadiLesbo huh...whelp, going back to our own time just got more appealing.
>>37718195 pretty sure we lack the info to pull that off
>>37718195Whoa. Slow down there cowboy. That's a lot of meta knowledge. But I like it. Not bad anon
>>37718213We can still pretend to be hungover, we probably didn't get much sleep and we have 19 int so I can always just bring that up.
>>37718244I think the committee agrees that Combo DEUS VULTing with our new heathen comrade and saving maidens is the best course of action.
>>37718107>>37718131>>37718086>>37718090>>37718201 You hear something smash again. Possibly a plate. More shouting. No, a scream rather. Your face contorts into a feral snarl on its on accord. You turn to Badi. You raise your mace and shield. He sighs but nods. And unsheaths his saber. (Roll a d20)
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>37718436
>>37718446>Everything in that room that is not the maiden has now forfeited its life.
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>37718436
>>37718446DEUS FUCKING VULT!
>>37718468>maidenKek, those don't exist anymore
>>37718446Holy shit. You hop out of the tub, tearing down the drape. You waste no time opening doors. Simply smashing through the door with a savage yell. Badi gives a ululating shriek, shield raised. You notice two things about the man you smash into. One, he is wearing a uniform very similar to those of the officers that spoke to you when you first arrived in this world. Second. He looks quite similar to Lisa, albeit with a squarer jaw. You smash into his side with your sheild. You here a satisfying crunch as he flies back into the the table. He reaches for something at his belt, but Badi rushes forth and kicks him in the head, faster than lightning. "Holy shit, NO! Aldrich stop! He's my brother!">>One More kick for good measure>>What?! >>What the hell is going on, then?!>>Oops>>Is yelling like this common practice in the future>>WRITE IN
>>37718850>>One More kick for good measure>>What the hell is going on, then?!>>Is yelling like this common practice in the future
>>37718850>>"What?! What the hell is going on, then?!"
>>37718850>>>"What?! What the hell is going on, then?!"
>>37718850>What the hell is going on, then?!>Is yelling like this common practice in the future
>>"If he's your brother, he's not a very good one, now is he?">>Assert righteous justice and manliness>>IS YELLING LIKE THIS COMMON PRACTICE IN THE FUTURE
>>37718986don't be a douche anon, we're a crusader not a fratboy
>>37718872>>37718884>>37718966>>37718976 "You what?! He is your brother?!""Yes! Please, I know he's an ass but you don't have to kill him!" Badi checks his unconscious form, "He is not dead. Could be worse." "Holy SHIT. Things can't get any worse. They can't! First you show up, now my brother, then you have to slam him like that..." "If that's your brother then he's not a terribly good one, is he?""Oh fuck you!""I thought you where in danger! Where in true danger would you prefer I just sit idle whilst you where snatched, killed, or raped? You're well being was the only thing on my my mind! Is that so wrong? Would you fault me for that?""ALDRICH I TOLD YOU STAY! YOU'RE NOT IN THE FUCKING DARK AGES ANYMORE! FUUUUCK!" She fumes, hair in her hands."IS SUCH RANCOROUS DISCOURSE COMMON IN THE MODERN ERA?!" "OH SHUT UP!">>I'm sorry...>>what do we do with him now?>>WHAT WAS THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU>>Is he a police officer?>>Write In
>>37719454>Is he a police officer?>what do we do with him now?
>>37719454If we're a douche :>>WHAT WAS THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOUElse :>Lets get my armor back, I feel naked
>>37719454>>Is he a police officer?>>what do we do with him now?
>>37719454>I'm sorry...>what do we do with him now?>Is he a police officer?
>>37719454>>>I'm sorry...>>>what do we do now?
>>37719454>>I'm sorry...>Is he a police officer?>what do we do with him now?
Where the fuck did OP go?
>>37721391It's called sleep, anon.Either that or he can't post again.
bedtime bump, can another please keep the thread alive?
>>37722421Worry not, comrade. I swear on my honor as a knight I will not let this thread die.
[>>37719267[s]>burn the body[/s]>Is he a police officer?>What do we do with him now?>This thing happens all the time where I'm from
>>37707733Turn the protagonist into a living version of /pol/, and have him team up with the muslim against degeneracy.DEUS VULT.
>>37707733I want to see how Aldrich learns to deal with modern life with Lisa's help and how their relationship grows and develops.Also I want to see all three, Aldrich, Lisa and Badi all go to a good pub and get drunk together.
>>37724173YES>>37721544>>37721391 Oh yeah, I totally passed the fuck out. Fell out at like 6.>>37719486>>37719541>>37719559>>37719568>>37720915 You set down your weapons and motion to Badi to do the same. "I'm sorry, Lisa, for all of this," you gesture vaguely at the room,"with only but a few hours I was able to devastate your life so completely. For that, and for every mistaken action I shall, I am sorry.""It's fine. I guess. I'm still trying to process last night, it all happened so quickly, and it just gets more tangible by the second. I just don't know what to do anymore...""It'll be alright," you embrace her in an attempt to console her, "now let's get him off the floor."You and Badi move the man, Lee DeRetti presumably, onto the couch, which is quickly becoming singularly dedicated to holding confused and unconscious persons. You examine his uniform better, "Is he an agent of the law?" You ask."Yeah, he's a police officer. We call them cops. He would be called a cop. It's Gaelic, I think..."Excellent. You've attacked the constabulary. You pray that this doesn't become a trend."I-I don't know. We can't take him to the hospital, not right away..." >>A hospital! Good idea, the Monks there should be able to heal his ribs>>Why not?>>Let's try and ease him into the situation >>Toss him out the window>>Wake him up>>Write In
>>37724837Badi technically can'tHow would you guys feel about more companions?
>>37725160Muh name 'n tripAlso, >shameless self plug>>37724583
>>37725137you also dropped your trip OP>>Why not?>>Let's try and ease him into the situation >>37725160I'm sure he could get drunk off of juice or something like mulled wine
>>37725160A muslim and crusader are enough for removing feminist kebab.While you're at it, an "all pantheons are true" mythos would be kickass. But this includes the abrahamic God.>>37725137Hospital
>>37725137>>A hospital! Good idea, the Monks there should be able to heal his ribs!I'm fine with just our new Muslim bro, also.
>>37725219>I'm fine with just our new Muslim bro, also.Same.>>37725204>While you're at it, an "all pantheons are true" mythos would be kickass. But this includes the abrahamic God.Oh god no, that's terrible for all sorts of reasons.
>>37725204Why?If he travelled in time and space there must be some magic.
>>37725137>>Let's try and ease him into the situation
>>37725137>Why not?>Let's try and ease him into the situation
>>37725243>>37725262Pardon, meant the second post
>>37725204In the same universe as Dresiden/Iron Druid series >>37725243Not that I'm particularly for or against the idea but why not?
>>37725304>Not that I'm particularly for or against the idea but why not?When you unleash all the pantheons the planet tends to be obliterated in about 4 seconds...Some of the crazy shit among them just does not work when you have the greek and catholic pantheons changing continents and bullshit like that. It gets like the final fight scenes in TTGL where they go from fighting in mechs that are the size of buildings, to fighting in mechs the size of universal quadrants swinging galaxies around as weapons, things get overpowered and unbalanced fast.
>>37725341Pretty fucking shitty reasoning.God could intervene but indirectly and rarely, while the heretic pantheons could intervene freely.There, balanced.
>>37725137>>A hospital! Good idea, the Monks there should be able to heal his ribs
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37725370>>37725341I've made my decision.
>>37725370So you just want to ignore Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, Shinto, the various Indian Pantheons and the Northern European ones? That's not even beginning to get around to the African, SEA and South American Pantheons, and you think that restricting the Big G from the Bible will balance things?
>>37725410>Islam, Judaism, etc.Same God. All monotheistic religions have Him.The rest can be independent.
>>37725444Anon, one of the Pantheons in the Australian Aboriginal religions is that the galaxy is a giant rainbow colored snake that will eat the planet if they don't keep moving their village and live as nomads.Lets see the 'independant' pantheons compete with that.>>37725407No idea what that means.
>>37725480I gib up.But please turn Aldritch and the muslim into /pol/ incarnate
>>37725504>But please turn Aldritch and the muslim into /pol/ incarnatePlease don't.
>>37725341>>Catholic 'Pantheon'Do you even theology brah? Saints aren't demigods. They just happen to be extremely good humans who, once they have died, can act as a mediator, generally in a specific aspect off human life. If you're going by the 'Domain powers means that they're a demigod', then sure, but we don't worship them. In case you haven't guessed, i'm Catholic.
>>37725504let's not devolve into that stupidity
>>37725480I've decide on the pantheon issue. Now time to update this thread...
>>37725556>Implying anti-feminist anti-lgbbqtaq +++ crusader and kebab combo isn't the best idea.Okay, /pol/ minus the racism.
>>37725574How about no /pol/ at all, and we just play Aldrich the character.
>>37725604AKA /pol/ minus the racism.(And nazism, duh.)That's pretty much how a knight would act.
>>37725192No fermented fruits or grains bruh>>37725219>>37725192>>37725268>>37725289"Ah, a Hospital! Yes, the Monks there should be able to set his ribs.""No, no we can't do that...""And why not, then?""Because they would ask too many questions...They could call the cops, and I'm already under suspicion. They found out about the damages, Aldrich, it's gone public...I scrambled some of the footage but they still want to ask me some questions. Aldrich we need to keep low, you understand?""Bugger all...maybe we can wake him and try to ease him into this mess?""And he won't try to kill us?" Badi chimes in, oh so helpfully.>>Eh...good point, just leave him at a hospital >>Wake him up>>Any other options?>>Why was he here?>>Why the bad blood?>>Write in
>>37726828>If I'm not being too bold, why the bad blood?>Wake him up
>>37726890Yeah, ask her why there was screaming and stuff.
>>37726828>No fermented fruits or grains bruhNot a problem. We just need to find him some good old Cachaça and he will be able to join us in Drunken Fun Time Land.It's made out of Sugarcane, so it isn't either Grain OR fruit.We just need to make sure to find the good stuff.Also,>Write in:>"How about we pretend he slipped and hit his head? Surely not even he would believe two men came out of nowhere amd knocked him unconscious using ancient weaponry."
>>37727021>>37726828>>37726890>>37726901I have to go to work in an hour so this might be it for me"In the Lord's name Lisa, why such animosity? Feuding amoungst siblings isn't so unknown, but this is simply shocking!""I've made a few...decisions...with my life that my family wouldn't agree with...both in my work and private life. Leonardo was the only one in my family that knew. It was a burden on him, I think it really wore down our relationship...now we're here.""Let's see if we can adjust him to the situation." "How will we wake him?" Badi asks.>>Slap him>>Cold Water>>Shake Him>>Whisper in his ear >>Shout at him>>Write inMight have time for one more update then I have to call it quits. I don't work tomorrow so I can do the next thread whenever. what would be a good time for everyone. Assume EST
>>37727709>>Cold WaterIt should be administered from a bucket.
>>37727709Whispering is too creepy, cold water would make a mess and the rest are too agressive and might make him even more likely to lash out.>Lie him down on the couch and LIGHTLY slap his face while calling his name.
>>37727709dropped your trip OP>Cold Waterthanks for the thread, I don't mind the slow pacing, its pretty comfortable, though as long as updates are once an hour and not longer things are fine. my timezone is GMT+11 so IIRC around
>>37727709>>Cold Water>>Shout at him
>>37727910 here, hit enter too soon, meant to say around 7-8pm EST works for me, but I'm flexible and don't mind so much.with the cold water, we should get a cloth and wet that, then apply that to his forehead.
"Have you a bucket?" You ask Lisa."Oh lord, I see what you're doing. Get him off the couch, you'll ruin the upholstery." You and Badi move him off the couch and onto the floor as Lisa fills the bucket in the bath. She returns, and hands it to you.You throw it on Leonardo DeRetti and he awakes with a shout. You try to calm him down.He remembers your face, hops to his feet and deftly draws something from his belt.All goes to black.
>>37728882I thought it was be a no brainer we disarm him first, I thought lisa was a smart jew
>>37729028Yeah, I thought we already did that when we knocked him out...>>37728882Welp quest over, OP killed us, everyone go home.
>>37728882>He remembers your face, hops to his feet and deftly draws something from his belt.All of this within seconds of waking up after being knocked out and concussed?What the fuck?Horseman better not kill the quest over this.
>>37728882What a "shocking" conclusion.
>>37728920>>37728983>>37729022>>37729028>>37729039 Guys trust me. I know what I'm doing. Follow the twitter for schedule updates. I'll see you tomorrow.
>>37729166>I know what I'm doing.But we don't.I'm not nearly drunk enough for this. Thanks for the thread OP, cya in the next one as long as I don't wake up with a blinding hangover.
>>37729166>Guys trust me.How about you oh y'know not be a giant faggot?
>>37728882Stun gun i think.
>>37729486We can only hope. Though why he didn't zap the Saracen first I've no idea, the heathen clearly deserves it more. I just hope that when we wake up, we're lying with our head in Lisa's lap and still in her apartment with her explaining all this crazyness to her brother.
>>37728882>Helmet deflects the bullet >Put it back on straight>Kick his pasty ass
so...we have confirmation that lisa is gay... knight dude doeesn't know it but...
>>37730458like it matters, we'll chivalrize the gay out of her, or at least turn her bi
>>37730485 we need to grab her dyke partner too possibly
>>37730520that's if she has one, we don't actually know whether she is in a relationship or not, but guessing by the state of her apartment and how she's not mentioned one yet, I don't think she is
>>37730563if only we could be both the little girl and still the chivalrous knight oh well deus vult
>>37730458If she is full lesbo and not bi or open to trying things with us, then we should pose as her boyfriend to her friends and family, so they stop giving her shit for her life choices, and then we can be each others wingman and pick up chicks and bring them back to fuck at her place.