>Episode 1
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37346691/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37363412/
>Episode 2
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37377232/
>Episode 3
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37465789/
>Episode 4
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37533810/

AWWW YISS

File: yLo0WZL.png (6 KB, 201x227)

6 KB PNG

So it begins.

File: MR.EXPOSITION-DOES-HIS-THING.png (19 KB, 600x600)

19 KB PNG

>"SO YEAH"
The man says, picking up EXACTLY where he left off a few seconds ago. Totally not a few days ago. It's only been a few seconds
>"Goblins stole our sacred orb. Go get it back or whatever. Keep it if you want, it's trouble."

File: WAKEUP.png (21 KB, 600x600)

21 KB PNG

>>37640196
And you, waiting patiently in place for only A FEW SECONDS, TOTALLY NOT A FEW DAYS, are alert and ready to do your thing! Look at you, looking well rested because only a few seconds have passed rather than a few days.

ONLY A FEW SECONDS

What do you do??

>>37640241
Go after them, of course!

>>37640241
>FOLLOW THE BLOOD TRAIL!

>>37640241
Let's go on an adventure !
Wait we're already on one ...

>>37640241
Stroke your absurdly fast-growing stubble.

Before we head off, why'd they want this orb anyway? Should we be expecting its holder to try and unleash its eldritch power on us, or is our biggest worry that they're going to stick it in a sock and blackjack us with it?

File: FUCKIFIKNOW.png (20 KB, 600x600)

20 KB PNG

>>37640371
>"I dunno. Their leader said something about it being the key to unlocking some ancient tomb yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. All I know is it's a magnet for weirdos. Look, I gotta go. I have something on the oven"

And with that, he retreats inside.

But whats that he said?? Something about a tomb?!

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE??

>>37640504
Go find the Goblins they know of the Apello! Follow the blood trail.

>>37640504
give chase! we must steal what is rightfully ours

>>37640504
Go wreck shit up with our mighty songs !
Pretty sure it's burn it's been there for several da-

>>37640504
>FOLLOW THE FUCKING BLOOD TRAIL!

>>37640504
BLOOD TRAIL! THE GOBLINS SHALL PAY

>>37640504
Sounds adventurous. Our staff guy is probably dead, too, so we must be on the right track!

But we'll cross that orb when we come to it. First things first; cold-blooded revenge.

It's cold-blooded because it's been lying around on the floor so long.

>>37640504
YOU GOTTA HURRY UP AND KNOCK THEIR SOCKS OFF FAST LIKE A CERTAIN BLUE HEDGEHOG!!!

File: RUN-BARD-RUN.png (28 KB, 600x600)

28 KB PNG

>>37640831
>>37640620
>>37640613
>>37640592
>>37640577
>>37640576
>>37640545
You run off into the forest, following the blood trail, revenge hot on your mind!

File: FORTRESS.png (25 KB, 600x600)

25 KB PNG

>>37641012
After about half an hour of searching, the trail ends at a large wooden fortress in the woods. Massive spikes form an enclosed area, a single door marking the middle of one of the walls.

File: INTENSE.png (30 KB, 600x600)

30 KB PNG

>>37641117
>"Looks heavily fortified,"
B'raed says
>"How do you want to go about this?"

It DOES look very fortified. Each of those spiked pillars as thick as a tree trunk.

>"I'm with ya whatever ya do, boss."
Orc Brad says.

So, what DO you do?

>>37641168
Sing a call to arms to all the goblin Brads of the fort! They'll open it from the inside!

>>37641168
TIme To Start a Fire!

>>37641168
sing a strength song to orc brad and have him fuck shit up

>>37641168
>Knock on door

>>37641168
Wood of any thickness will still burn.

>>37641117
>>37641168
Uh, Orc Brad, do you think you could pass for an exceptionally well-muscled and handsome goblin to trick them into opening the door?

Like, it's a little bit racist, but it'd be a quick way in.

Maybe there's a treant out there named Bradbark who could help break us in in as an act of vengeance for his fallen bretheren that now make up the goblin palisade.

>>37641168
>STEALTH MISSION!

>>37641168
Commence virtuoso mission!

>>37641168
>>37641232
seconded, then attempt to bargain with them. Or maybe just jig. Jigging seems to work.

>>37641168
Have Orc Brad get a tree, any size large enough to cause serious damage in one hit will do.
Then, knock on the front door.
The moment someone is on the other side of the door have orc brad ram down the door with the tree.

Sing a song to summon goblin brads

Knock on the fukin' door like the man you are

File: HAREBRAINED.png (24 KB, 600x600)

24 KB PNG

>>37641277
After much deliberating and convincing, you finally put your plan together!

>"Just letting you guys know one last time, I'm not cool with this"
Orc-Brad says sternly

>"Don't worry, you look great!"
B'raed giggles.

Etch "Brad" into the fortifications, baptize it and sing for the door to open

File: HELLO-MY-NAME-IS-ELDER-BRAD.png (21 KB, 600x600)

21 KB PNG

>>37641608
>>37641232
Orc Brad walks up and knocks on the door.
>"This is bullshit"
He grumbles

File: WE-DONT-WANT-WHAT-YOU'RE-(...).png (10 KB, 600x600)

10 KB PNG

>>37641679
The door creaks open, a little goblin face peering out.
>"W-who ees eet?"
It squeaks

File: TRIGGER WARNING.png (16 KB, 600x600)

16 KB PNG

>>37641693
>"Uhhhh, hey."
Orc-Brad says
>"I'm the new hire. The, uh... agency sent me over."

THE DOOR IS OPEN! WHAT DO YOU DO??

>>37641712
Sing a song so he goes berserk in the camp

>>37641712
JIG!
JIG LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

>>37641712
JIG AND SING! GET THE BRADS ON OUR SIDE!

>>37641712
Pick up the Goblin with Orc-Brad and sing the mighty hymn of "Breaching into a goddamn fortress using your own people as siege engines"

>>37641755
>>37641778
Seconding either of this two

>>37641712

keep the charade, leave the door open so we can sneak in, we don't know how many are there

>>37641738
>>37641741
>>37641755
Seconded

File: JIG.png (26 KB, 600x600)

26 KB PNG

>>37642005
>>37641741
You do a quick, snappy little jig! It's quite entertaining.

File: YA-BLEW-IT.png (19 KB, 600x600)

19 KB PNG

>>37642074
Unfortunately, it reveals yourself to the goblin.

Orc-Brad gives you a very dirty look.

File: DUMBASS.png (20 KB, 600x600)

20 KB PNG

>>37642103
The goblin quickly retreats back into the fortress. You hear a commotion on the other side.

His dirty look increases in intensity.

WHAT DO??

>>37642142
JIG HARDER. JIG FASTER. ARE THEY NOT ENTERTAINED!?

>>37642142
backing >>37642168

WE FUCKING BLEW IT
>>37642142
>KICK THE FUCKING DOOR DOWN AND SAY "POLICE, FREEZE MOTHER FUCKERS"

>>37642142
time for fire i guess

>>37642142
>>37642168
Create a JIG-NADO with all the Brads and collapse the walls with your mighty JIG-QUAKE

>>37642142

ok, beat have the orc beat Brad up and take him as a prisioner......all according to keikaku.....it was not a spanking motivated by frustration.....not at all

>>37642142
Use Fire all the fire!

>>37642142
Cast Sympathetic Vibration on the fort
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/sympatheticVibration.htm

>>37642142
FIRE SOLVES EVERYTHING

>>37642142
He retreated quickly, and goblins aren't all that bright.

Check if the door's still unlocked.

>>37642218
>>37642238
>>37642269
FLAMING JIG-NADO IS NEEDED

>>37642289
SECONDING, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS AWESOME

>>37642289
Sure why not

>>37642289
HARNESS THE JIG FOR JUSTICE!

FOR LEECHBRAD!

>>37642349
>>37642324
>>37642289
>>37642269

Can we beat brad up and use him as a prisioner to infiltrate after this ultimately fails?

>>37642442
sure, I'm okay with that.

but it's totally going to work, I'm telling you.

File: 1421287965331.gif (18 KB, 600x600)

18 KB GIF

>>37642442
No, we don't bead up Brads. Our brads do the beating.

File: ARROW.png (24 KB, 600x600)

24 KB PNG

>>37642269
>>37642205
>"EEI SWAR! THER' AR' DA PEOPLE OUT THEER THAT ATECKED GLIP AND CRAT!"
One goblin says angrily to another, not noticing the flaming arrow being launched over the fortress walls.

>"Raaaight. Jast like th' last time."
The other one says, condescendingly

File: THWACK.png (28 KB, 600x600)

28 KB PNG

>>37642527
Just then, an arrow lands right into the side of one of the goblin's heads with a sickening "TWACK"

File: THAT WORKED.png (29 KB, 599x593)

29 KB PNG

>>37642553
From behind the wall, you see and hear a massive explosion as B'raed's arrow hit's its mark. You hear screams and panicked running pouring from over the wall.

>>37642635
do you feel like a hero yet?

>>37642721
ALWAYS

File: NICE.png (21 KB, 600x600)

21 KB PNG

>>37642635
B'raed gives you an uncharacteristic smile and thumbs up as smoke climbs into the sky.

WHAT DO??

>>37642782
Tie yourself to an arrow and get shot over the walls with Orc-brad, and B'raed if it can shoot itself

>>37642782
give her a thumbs up proceed to enter fortress. Also nice shot!

Trapfags do not spoil her mood, we cannot afford to get punched again!

>>37642782
JIG WITH 'HER'

>>37642782
>Pull her pony tail

>>37642833
SECONDED

>>37642782
Thumbs up, then sing to any goblin Brads to escape for salvation!

>>37642782
Thumbs up, and proceed to bust down the door.

>>37642824
Nah man, romance can't be rushed.

>>37642824
but I REALLY want to pull that pony tail

>>37642833
>>37642907
JIGGING ALL AROUND!!

>>37643098
JIG IT ONCE
JIG IT TWICE
THEN HAVE SEX

>>37642782
Thumbs up, and storm the fortress with your Orc pal at the frontlines.

File: VERY-NICE.png (23 KB, 600x600)

23 KB PNG

>>37642824
You give her the ol' thumbs up! It was an amazing shot! I wonder what she caught on fire??

File: WHELP.png (25 KB, 600x600)

25 KB PNG

>>37643378
One step into the fortress and you see exactly what caught on fire.

File: FIRE.png (33 KB, 600x600)

33 KB PNG

>>37643416
EVERYONE!
The entire camp seems to be aflame! The only thing not on fire looks to be a tent at the far end.

WHAT DO YOU DO??

>>37643416
orphanage?
>>37643444
Oh damn

>>37643444
Disregard greenskins, approach tent.

>>37643444
Go to the tent. DO NOT LOOK AT BR'AED

>>37643444
Walk back outside.
Wait for the screaming to stop.
Just check the tent later.
This is to much to take in...

>>37643444
>Go to tent

File: ddddddiiiiiiie.jpg (576 KB, 1280x720)

576 KB JPG

>>37643444
RUSH FOR THE TENT, ORC BRAD CAN KNOCK DOWN ANYONE WHO DARE GET IN YOUR WAY.

>>37643452
Disregard both, woo B'raed the Goddes of Flames

>>37643444
Ok, see, that deserves a second thumbs-up.

Stake out the tent. Someone's bound to come out to see what all the screaming is about eventually, and then WHAM, we get 'em.

>>37643462
Namefag pls, nothing wrong with enjoying a good greenskin kill.

>>37643444
Run to the tent

>>37643444
Sing a tune and have all green skinned brads throw themselves at the tent.

File: PEER.png (15 KB, 600x600)

15 KB PNG

>>37643525
>>37643509
>>37643478
>>37643484
>>37643462
>>37643452
You rush to the tent!
Arriving at it, you peer inside and find the leader of the Goblins sitting on a makeshift throne!

File: GASP.png (12 KB, 600x600)

12 KB PNG

>>37643880
>"Well, well, well, well, well!"
A sultry voice sings out in a marvelous tune.
Your fine bard ears hear a hint of magic in his voice.

Who could possibly possess this kind of power?!

>>37643922
David bowy?

>>37643922
ZIGGY?

>>37643922
It's a rival bard who can manipulate names! CODE BRAD! CODE BRAD!

File: LEADER-OF-THE-GOBLINS.png (23 KB, 600x600)

23 KB PNG

>>37643922
A beautiful man(?) sits on the throne, clutching the orb in his hand.
>"What have we here??"

THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE TROUBLE. WHAT DO?

>>37643922
It's Brad, the GartendoBard!

>>37643983

You remind me of the babe.

>>37643983
>"What DO we have here?"
>"No seriously, I don't know what you're trying to get at."

>>37643983
he reminds you of the babe

>>37643942
Wow.
You were... You were right

>>37643983
Tell him that he reminds us of the babe.

>>37643983
I, The Lord of the land of stench, have come to take that orb from you!

>>37643997
>>37644033
>>37644040
He reminds us of the babe. The babe with the power.

>>37644082
What power?

>>37643983
>Send Orcbrad fuck him

>>37644119
The power of voodoo.

>>37644168
who do?

>>37643983
THERE'S A STARMANNNNN WAITING IN THE SKY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5iOiLX5ppA

>>37644256
You do.

>>37643983
I challenge thee to a song-off!

>>37643983
>"Brad ?"

File: ATTACK.png (21 KB, 600x600)

21 KB PNG

>>37644082
You sing out that he reminds you of the babe, pouring in some bard magic as you do so!

>>37644300
Do what?

>>37644384
Remind me of the babe.

>>37644384
Remind me of the babe!

>>37644397
/goblinlaughter

>>37644365
Now tell him you're brad.

>>37644451
Let's save the rest of the song for Gartendo.

File: AVAST.png (21 KB, 600x600)

21 KB PNG

>>37644365
He immediately counters your magical song with his own!
>"Ha! There's such a sad love deep in your eyes!"
It rings out so beautiful and true, it counteracts your song!

File: LEAN-ON-ME.png (27 KB, 600x600)

27 KB PNG

>>37644591
The sheer force of the melody knocks you back into Orc-Brads arms, the wind escaping you.

This guy is powerful! What on earth will you do??

>>37644617
LEAN ON MEEEEEEEEEE

>>37644617
Get the band together! We're going to have to out-rock this king of the musical!

>>37644617
Assemble my band and rock on!

>>37644617
mock his hair and fashion sense

>>37644617
With the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, sing a ballad of friendship and camaraderie!

>>37644617
>sing song to buff Orc brad and send him punch the cunt to a pulp
Also if shithead tries to stop orc brad counter the singing with ours

>>37644617
Get the band together and start your song with,
"I've paid my dues -
Time after time - "

>>37644651
>>37644696
These, with this;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ1WyBGG_Vw

>>37644825
Fine, we'll do this song instead.

>>37644825
Thirded.

File: TEAM.png (30 KB, 600x600)

30 KB PNG

>>37644825
Your party pulls out their instruments! Flute! Cowbell! And Bass!

File: ANCIENT-ART.png (33 KB, 600x600)

33 KB PNG

>>37645054
And you jam out, pushing every bit of magical bardiness into your voice with
>"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE WE ARE!"
The sheer rocking-ness of your voice sends gooseflesh down the arms of your party.
Except skeleton.

File: MY-GOD.png (22 KB, 600x600)

22 KB PNG

>>37645126
>"M-My god. That song..."
He seems stunned, not by the magic, but by the lyrics....
strange...
WHAT DO YOU DO??

>>37645182
BREAK HIS FACE

>>37645182
SING THE REST! "BORN TO BE KINGS!!"

>>37645182
Call him by his TRUE name!
IT IS UNDOUBTEDLY BRAD! IT MUST BE!

File: YES.jpg (88 KB, 434x655)

88 KB JPG

>>37645182
SING. SING UNTIL YOU CAN'T SING ANYMORE.

WEEEEEEE WEEEEEEREEEEEEE BOOOOOORNNNNNN

>>37645182
BORN TO BE KINGS, WE ARE THE PRINCESS OF THE UNIVERSE

-Break his face

>>37645182
EAR SPLITTING SCREAM RIGHT NOW YOU BEAUTIFUL AIR RAID SIREN

>>37645182
This >>37645218 and >>37645200

>>37645200
>>37645236
No, me must recruit him so that we can sing a great song during a moment we are "under pressure".

File: 1421196739024.jpg (87 KB, 640x1136)

87 KB JPG

>>37645126
USE THE SAME TACTICS AS WITH THE SKELLINGTONS

>>37645254
Dear god, you're right!
I rescind my vote (>>37645250) and change it to this.

>>37645254
>>37645221
Thirded

>>37645182
BELT AS LOUD AS YOU CAN AND FUCKING STRIKE HIM WITH ALL YOUR BARDY MIGHT

File: FINISH-HIM.png (25 KB, 600x600)

25 KB PNG

>>37645236
>>37645250
>>37645218
>"BORN TO BE KINGSSSSSS! WE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSSSSEEEEEE!"
You sing it out proud and true! The beauty of it fills up your soul and you feel the ultimate power!

File: ODD.png (22 KB, 600x600)

22 KB PNG

>>37645359
He immediately falls down on one knee and holds the orb out to you.
>"Y-you... you are the one. The true bearer of this key. You have proven yourself worthy."

You're still trembling from the song, your party stares in awe. WHAT DO YOU DO???

>>37645359
RIP David Bowie. No longer shall we have our duet.

>>37645380
BREAK HIS FACE

>>37645380
Take the key. Thank him

>>37645380
Accept key

remind him that the fort is burning up in flames around him.

skedaddle.

>>37645380
Recruit him, of course! If only his name were Brad...

>>37645380
Pick it up and Brad-dize the fucker. He too can have a shard of its power and a place in the band.

>>37645380
"Thank you. But that is not all that I need of you. I need YOU!"

>>37645437
May want to rephrase that.

he might be too OP guys I don't want to break the game

>>37645462
No, we are a bard. Everything we say must be able to be interpreted in a sexual way.

>>37645476
Then recruit the goblins as roadies!

>>37645380
Grab the orb and run like hell.

>>37645518
We burned them all.

I'm sure we'll manage.

>>37645380
More or less >>37645417

Alas. If only you had been born a Brad, perhaps we could have been comrades. Life is fickle.

Is it a little amusing to anyone else that the only people we have as friends are people we can make do stuff with bardsong? Seems kind of sad, really.

>>37645539
Well, basic bardic necromancy. Skelly needs a boy -harem

>>37645557
Well how they hell do you think we got them to be friends with us in the first place?

>>37645557
It's because we're a douche, who makes people do shit with bardsongs

File: YES.png (23 KB, 600x600)

23 KB PNG

>>37645417
>>37645405
>>37645557
You grab the orb! You feel it send a tingle down your arm. This thing is surging with power!

File: SEEYA.png (23 KB, 600x600)

23 KB PNG

>>37645738
You run out, thanking him as your party exits the tent and into the inferno of the fortress.

You also give him a friendly bit of info that you set fire to his entire camp.

File: WAT.png (16 KB, 600x600)

16 KB PNG

>>37645757
>"you... you did what now?"

>>37645778
>>37645778
FAREWELL

File: SHIT.png (23 KB, 600x600)

23 KB PNG

>>37645778
And with that, you're off!

Looks like you've found the key to an ancient tomb! I wonder what could be in that tomb? WHERE COULD IT BE? And what bit of hidden magic did the Goblin King sense in you to cause him to give you the orb?!

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON QUEST QUEST!

>>37645803
Thanks for running! You're the best!

>>37645803
That Goblin King better reincarnate quickly to help us sing under pressure when the need arises.

Kekekekekeke

File: 1422298940296.jpg (6 KB, 199x250)

6 KB JPG

>>37645803
God that was epic

>>37645803
best session yet. Never 5get leechbrad.

>>37645857
why is the thumb a dick?

File: 1422299886005.jpg (25 KB, 400x386)

25 KB JPG

>>37645903
Because that the wrong fucking picture

>>37645803
And it's archived! Hooray!