>>37599794

=====================================================================================================================

Hello everyone, and welcome to this quest. Now, as you will come to realize, this is a quest unlike any other. To play, you can begin by creating a mage, apprentice, or any other sort of visitor who might show up to a meeting of a guild of wizards. Usually the OP will describe a plot of some sort in the first post of the thread. As the meeting goes on, the players will discuss the matter, along with various other things, between themselves. This quest takes place in the setting of the Mages's Guild, a series of threads that have been on /tg/ for a very long time, if you wish to learn more about the setting, please read them on sup/tg/. This quest is fully player driven, although the majority of it is dialouge between the players. The world of the mages guild is an exciting place full of heroes and adventure, and we look forward to sharing it.

To create a character, just come up with a name, power, backstory, etc, then have them join in on the conversation. You are welcome to describe what your character looks like if you so choose. You should feel free to make your character as weak or powerful as you want to, but are asked not to be to unreasonable about it. Remember, over-over-powered characters just aren't fun for anyone.

Some notes on the setting and current characters: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
One of the many tags on sup/tg/ where you can find old threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=-omancy

As much as some people may not like it, this thread is here for us all to enjoy. Remember to follow /Tg/'s board rules.
1. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.
2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)

Also, don't steal anyone's name, as that is rude.

>>37599821
Additionally, try to keep OOC in spoilers.

I'll have you know I've never killed any of my students just to cash in their life insurance.

That I cash it in after they kill themselves via stupidity is completely tangential.

"Kek."

Good Evening everybody.

>>37599942
"Heya James! Are you excited for the event tonight?"

>>37599794
Antruthius I need to talk to you. I would like to apply as teacher too. Teacher for draconic lore and dragon magic to be specific. Under which department does that fall or is it a department in itself?

>>37599987
dropped my nametag sorry

>>37599794
>>37599911
It is really somewhat disappointing that he had to explicitly state that.

>>37600023
damn it I swear I typed it in

Here is your coffee everyone

>>37600076
>Give Noone Coffee? [y/n]

>>37600086
>yes

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>>37600076
Morning Evening or Afternoon Mortimer. Can I get one with extra extra extra extra Cream or Milk?

>>37600059
test test 1 2 3

What is this? I was promised a deathrace! I, Fabulous Esteban, demand explanation!

>>37600116
Here you go
>>37600129
Coffee?

>>37600111
>Oh god why
>Noone grabs his coffee and chugs it

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>>37600129
Vex is handling that, Calm down. They aren't around just yet. Probably finishing up the last touches. Have a seat and a drink and wait.
>>37600141
Niiiice.

>>37600076
Dear mortimer, do you have something with a bit more kick dear.

>>37599794
Glad I never relied on that trick then.

>>37600076
Thank You Mortimer.

>>37600129
Later Esteban

>>37600129
Vex, the organizer, has disappeared into the Aether.

As usual, Damn fool girl can't be bothered to actually be useful.

>>37600076
Thank you, kind sir.

>>37600145
Wait, no!!!!! That was the one with dolls eyes in it!
>>37600160
Here is extra black, with a shot of alcohol
>>37600163
>>37600173
Your welcome

File: not pictured - cone of shame.png (1.03 MB, 654x1050)

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>>37599794
Well I guess that source of income was good while it lasted. Oh well, time to sit back and see what new apprentices sign up for this years meat grinder.
>>37600076
Excellent, thank you Mortimer.

>>37600163
Soros good to see you, is ther any reason for this meeting really?

>>37599987
Draconic magic would fall under the Racial Magic over-school. While Draconic lore would fall under the history department. Fortunately for you, the position as teacher of Draconic magic has been open since the previous teacher has gone into hibernation, and I would be happy to hire you for the position.

Okay here we go. Good evening everyone. It was me who asked the Archwizard for the position as teacher for draconic lore and dragon magic.
>>37600173
Well she is good to look at.

>>37600188
Of course sir

>>37600173
I, Fabulous Esteban, shall not stand for this! How dare I be kept waiting in my most magnificent of red cloaks, this is an outrage!

Finally, I'm able to catch one of these meetings early on.

And just great, it seems like I will have to put up with a bunch of brats who consider themselves to be great mages. just great.

>>37600189
Funding, the race, getting new faculty.

>>37600192
Oh thanks Antruthius! Do I need to fill a form or anything?

>>37600076
Thank you, Mortimer.

>>37600129
I believe they are still preparing the course for the event.

>>37600261
Your welcome sir

>>37600185
"Wha-"
>Vibrates out out the building

>>37600252
Could be worse, you still get your own funding, my department is being forced to be self-sufficient.

>>37600286
Check on Cromina.

>>37600185
*Takes a sip* Ahhh just as I like it dear mortimer. You do me well thank you.
>>37600188
Off to have the highest fatality rate this year? Trying to beat the fleshwarper department this year?.
>>37600210
Do you deal with pact magic at all? I would love to collaborate to come up with some new ways to manipulate pact magic.

>>37600173
I have faith that once she does show up, the show will be worth the wait.

>>37600296
Oh dear
>>37600297
What happened?
>>37600303
I aim to please

>>37600234
Take a chill pill Estevan Get some coffee. You have plenty of time to die, Stop rushing into it.

>>37600252
You dare doubt the magical potential of me, Fabulous Esteban? I, Fabulous Esteban, shall prove all of you crackpot stage magicians wrong in this so-called "Maze of death!"
>>37600305
It had best be worth the wait, for I, Fabulous Esteban, most promising of the magical pupils in my home, am not known for my patience!

>>37600256
Just sign here. *a book floats towards you and opens to a page, a line at the bottom glows softly next to the word signature*
No need to read the fine print.

>>37599794

>Checks the 1d4chan page
>No mention within the active, inactive, or forgetful roster of Herr Hearsch

I may not be the most active member but I was sort of there for a few things!

*pours himself a cup of tea*
I see we're in a budget crisis again.... *sighs* Going to have to cut down on spending in my department again. This time I'll have to cutback on materials...
Anyway, how is everyone? The Antruthius, how was that bad case of being dead work out for you?

>>37600326
Magical rift opened up on her back, I cant bind it but not seal it.

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>Enters the guild hall with pants
"H-hello? has anyone seen Vex?"

>>37600305
Yes, one hopes.

>>37600303
Our department gets a lot of idiots who manage to get themselves killed no matter how hard we try to stop it from happening.

So, instead, we collect their life insurance and use them as materials for the next class.

>>37600297
Oh big deal. All you have to do is make some investments that you know will work out because you can see the future.

>>37600350
...Very well then, as long as I can provide the monsters for the maze.

>>37600359
On it
>>37600365
Sorry, but no. Coffee?

>>37600341
*looks at her closely* are you applying for the magical girl school by any chance?
>>37600297
I might be able to subvert some funding. I run off of a lot of donations for preventing demon and devil attacks, would you enjoy the financial help, no cost or favors owed needed.

>>37600303
I'm actually trying to cut down on casualties, but with how these things go it's a futile effort. So yes, I'm probably going to end up with the highest fatality rate, but not for trying, this time.
>>37600350
I've seen the plans for the course, it will be worth the wait.
>>37600356
You aren't the only one who was forgotten, I had to take things into my own hands.

What the hell happened last meeting?! I heard the Archwizard died?!

>>37600365
I believe she is out preparing the maze.

>>37600365
She fashion make overed you it seems.

>>37600380
Still wounds my conceit.

>>37600368
You do need to update your wards.

>>37600405
Nah, mostly a point of pride. I'll live.

>>37600420
>>37600424
Lazarus did it to start a was Antruthius grounded him.

>>37599794
>you are asked to not randomly commit murder in our halls in an attempt to raise funds for your department.
Some will find that harder than others, I'm sure. Trigger happy nutters.

>>37600303
Uh I deal mostly with the magic my draconic heritage grants me, but draconic lore has a lot to do with banking and banking is simliar to devil stuff right?
>>37600353
Don't worry I never read the fine print.
>Signs with "Zirconis, son of Draconis, first of his name of the House of Red."

>>37600368
Mmm sounds efficient and beautiful. I just have demons collect astral diamonds for funding.

>>37600424
He got better.

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>>37599794
Fuck you for making a thread I want to take part in at 0209 GMT. I already feel like a zombie. Sleep now. But feel my smoldering rage and malcontent even as I slumber.

>>37600396
Oh yes please!

>>37600438
O-oh

>>37600449
>blushes
Yes...

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>>37600365
I'm sure they will be around soon enough, Why dont you have a seat and get a drink and chill? No reason to rush to your death. I mean...Whatever.
>>37600405
Negatory. I'm just here to deal with assassins in exchange for the mages guild helping us defend against magical attacks back in my homeland.
>>37600451
On that note, You guys could start selling bits and pieces of the assassin corpses we have laying around. Or re-animate them and sell them as butlers!
When life gives you assassins, Make assassinaid

>>37600438
Hello, James. What's this maze?

Jesus fuck, why dI'd this have to happen tonight. I have a modern knight quest to run. Fuck, well looks like it's happening tomorrow.

>>37600474
Apparently.

>>37600524
Here you go. So how long have you known Vex?

>>37600458
*Laughs* no it doesn't
>>37600449
Fair enough. I thought I would offer.
>>37600420
I can see that. I have honestly not had problems we run a very cautious system. They only lose their soul early now.

>>37600380
I, Fabulous Esteban, eagerly await the challenge! For no mere monster can hope to compare to the magical potential of , Fabulous Esteban!
>>37600341
Silence housecat! For I, Fabulous Esteban, am positively quivering at the chance to test myself!
>>37600451
I, Fabulous Esteban, would love to see any of these maniacs try it, for my magical potential is unmatched in my lands, and will no doubt dazzle any prospective assassins!

>>37600546
Hey, how goes it Mortimer?

>>37600365
Who are you again? I was on a vacation for awhile and didn't attend some of the more recent meetings.
Well, not so much a vacation and more like- never mind, long story.

>>37600542
Vex decided to set up a maze to run apprentices through because they weren't dying fast enough for her.

I got her a pack of undead wolves for it, but she hasn't seemed to show up yet.

>>37600555
Shots fired!
>>37600576
It goes good

>>37600424
Indeed I did.

>>37600458
Excellent. *the book vanishes and reappears on Antruthius' lectern*

>>37600519
I am truly sorry, anon. You are welcome to participate in the thread as long as you are awake, and after it has ended on 4chan, we usually continue to ghost post for a few days on the archive.moe

>>37600424
I wanted to start a war with the druids and killed the Archwizard to do it. We brought him back after I was found out. I'm currently working almost for free as punishment.
>adjusts his cone of shame and sips his coffee

>>37600551
I always thought devils are a bit like dragons, less awesome of course, but instead of hoarding gold the hoard souls.

>>37600600
Slumbermancer or whatever thanks you. I didn't know you lot ghost posted.

>>37600555
I'll gladly put you to sleep so you can wait in silence instead of assaulting our ears with your drivel.
>>37600583
Shes a new rookie, Probably wont make it through the death maze so I wouldn't get too attached.

>>37600595
Oh Gods above and below that's good shit! She's insane, truly.

>>37600597
Where do you keep the coffee? I can get it myself I just can't seem to ever find it

>>37600600
Coffee sir?

>>37600555
Oh goody, let me guess, nobility?

>>37600527
But I came here to learn!

>>37600546
Since last night....

>>37600583
O-oh hi i'm [mumbles]

>>37600637
Here you go sir
>>37600663
Oh dear

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>>37600555
Well, I'm sure Jophrey here would just LOVE to keep you company then.

>>37600420

I'd have to agree with Lazarus; keeping the students from actively dying during their studies is almost as time consuming as teaching them! I can't promise that the fatalities will drop.

>>37600613
Huh.

>>37600635
We still have the deathmaze?

>>37600654
I had something witty to say, but I'm afraid the sleep has washed it from my memory *sips tea*.

>>37600524
Tough luck

>>37600551
Thanks for the offer.

>>37600583
She's her for the deathrace. Story time Noel.

>>37600663
Do yourself a favor kid Drop the race.

>>37600686
Really?

>>37600663
I think Vex intends for you to prove your worth first in the death maze.
>>37600696
Its a new one.

>>37600654
I, Fabulous Esteban, am stunned at your perceptiveness!
>>37600686
Hah! We, the members present here to include Fabulous Esteban, shall see!

>>37600699
Well, I just moved into my new lab and a LOT of my pets sort of... got lost. I'm on a new computer and lost pretty much all my images

>>37600676
By the low gods kid, You're helpful but you make me feel guilty.

>>37600686
Stop messing with the new ones!

>>37600638
Thank you Mortimer.

>>37600750
Please do not call me kid sir, I am 500 years old.
>>37600754
Anytime sir.

>>37600614
No they are very conniving sons of bitches and cruel and will take your soul at any cost without killing you.

>>37600699
But I need to! Vex won't teach me about pinball wizardry other wise!

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>>37600600
Finally I am a teacher too and can misstrea- ehr educate apprentices! Yay~

>>37600754
Hello sir. It's been a long time seen I've seen you.

I trust there's no hard feelings? All the things I said back then where said in anger and I apologize for them.

>>37600741
I, Fabulous Esteban, express my condolences!
>>37600635
I, Fabulous Esteban, shall not be stopped from gracing this hall with my near divine voice!
>>37600750
I, Fabulous Esteban, need no defending!
Really hoping he dies in the deathmaze

>>37600741
Really? Need me to look for them?


>>37600779
Is that even a thing? Why not learn regular wizardry?

>>37600699
You have helped me out several times so I figured I would try and return the favor.

>>37600789
I don't know, that's why I came here.

>>37600718
Ah so it won't be as great as the old one.

>>37600770
Mortimer, how are you?

>>37600779
If you're so intent on doing it, here's some advice - Don't go right. And for the love of god make sure you have a Sapphire, an Emerald, and a Diamond. I cannot stress those three particular gemstones enough.

>>37600789
Oh no, I'm sure I will find them soon, I'm keeping an eye on the local guards. When I see a bunch running in one direction, I'll know they found at least one of them.

>>37600811
I am good sir. How are you?

>>37600635
I still think the Death Maze is a waste of resources, I mean just studying here is enough of a danger to health and mind.
>>37600663
Come on now, speak up, you're in a hell of a lot better position than I was when Ashburn dragged me to the council.
More dressed too for that matter.

>>37600791
I can understand that. Reset your summoning circles three days early by the way.

>>37600810
Might want to ask for proof before you do anything.

>>37600819
Alright. Also you have a tentacle showing.

>>37600784
I'll be surprised if you make it long enough to run the race at this rate.
>>37600811
It may be better, IT may be worse. We'll find out.

>crashes through a window, wrestling a cloak made of lava
Godsdammit yield already!
Can somebody cost deanimate on this, please?

>>37600832

Feeling the weight of ages and wishing that I didn't stop aging in my fifties so my hair wasn't half-grey.

>>37600782
None at all Dramorn.

>>37600779
I would suggest you go to Master Thomas to learn it. Vex once held a village captive with it, whereas Thomas once held the hearts of the world hostage.

>>37600843
Well, three things.

One: It was Vex's idea, it's not a good plan.
Two: I've already got a pack of undead wolves for it, and I don't want to waste them.
Three: It'll be fun to watch.

>>37600867
>pours coffee on it
>>37600880
I think that it looks rather well on you sir

>>37600772
Replace "sons of bitches" with "creatures of utmost majesty" and "cruel" with "awe-inspiring" and "souls" with "gold" and what do you get? Hmmm?

>>37600843
I'm [mumbles]

>>37600847
Do you have a quarter?

>>37600721
Great, mages born from nobility, twice the ego, none of the work ethic.

>>37600847
Gods damn it! This is what happens when you move everything yourself and you accidentally spill some potions on yourself...

>>37600843
Well, Someone could sell showings of it to nobles for profit if we were to record it...Soros?

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Huh, is it time for the apprentice death race yet?
>>37600779
It's understandable that she would give you a ultimatum like that, her class already have over 130 students. But if you are lucky she might be more accepting off a new apprentice once some of them are lost to the obstacle course.

>>37600939
Your crème sir.

>>37600781
Don't lie we mistreat them all the time.

>>37600923
Several *tosses her a coin*

>>37600929
Thought you should know.

>>37600933
Yes?

>>37600847
Why is that? I will take the advice nonetheless but why?

>>37600957
Hey Mortimer, can you bring me some coffee? With plenty of cream and sugar. I've been having a rough week.

>>37600971
We should record the death race, And then sell it. I believe you can handle that? I'm not well versed in magic but I think I've seen you handle something like this before.

>>37600770
Holy shit. You look good for your age.

>>37600899
Except for the replace the not try to kill you with try to kill you. You missed that.

>>37600994
Sure. All you need to do is make some more Vraals. Marco is getting lonely
>>37600998
Thank you sir

>>37600965
Luckily I was homeschooled. To imagine to be in the same lot as those red robed plebs...horrible.
>>37601004
My father leaves the villagers mostly alive, so he can plunder them again after a few years.

>>37599821
Wait im confused is this the mages guild meeting or a quest.

You'll have to excuse me folks, my "Eldritch abominations are trying to burn down my house again" senses are tingling.

>>37600933
Cruel, bloody, no respect for human life...
Yep they would definitely pay to watch it.

>>37600927
Really? Not all of us are lazy.

>>37600998
I would be willing to bet a good deal of that is the coffee.

>>37601031
BOTH!

>>37601031
Supposed to be a quest, someone jumped the gun and didn't wait for the QM

>>37600982
Ward failure on part of an apprentice

>>37600995
Already doing so.....

>>37601031
Both, bypasses angry mods.

>>37600883
And of course not to forget, four: It will be VERY fun to watch.
>>37600927
Don't worry, he is a red robed apprentice. I think we both know how that ends.
>>37601031
Mostly the former, calling it the later appears to ward off the mod who keeps deleting the threads though.

>>37601031
We've just got the quest tag up there because a janitor will nuke it if we don't

>>37601019
fine, I'll get on that as soon as I get my supplies in order.

>>37601036
Oh, that must be Flopsy.

>>37600998
Everyone here is 500 years of age or older. I lost count a long time ago.

>>37601058
if we put quest in the name, the mods wont kill threads, also we get new players

>>37601051
>>37601058
oh well thats alright the last mages guild quest was a bit of a clusterfuck to everybody was running a separate character and everything.

Gentlemen, while we await Vex's arrival, I have most dire news. The local fiefdom has expressed distaste at our decision to steer the hall through their town square and demolish their prized statue of the town's founder. How will we defuse the situation?
>Makeshift quest time.

>>37601117
Send them 25 gallons of my coffee as an apology

>>37601088
Wait, you know that *everyone* here is over 500?

Son of a githyanki whore! What gave it away!?

>>37601117
I say we magically rebuild the statue and mind wipe everyone so they don't remember what we did.

>>37601028
Dragons are fun to play with too. I enjoy drinking games with them.
>>37601070
I need to flog an apprentice then.
>>37601082
Flopsy is back?

>>37601088
Not everyone, I am technically only 31.

>>37601113
that is the entire point of mages guild quest, we all make our own characters and interact to run the quest, i thought i made that clear in the op

>>37601088
i gave up a lot eariler all those years with the time shenanigans while building the hub plane made keeping track of my age relative to the material and my chronological age a pain

>>37600971
>Jill is pelted by several coins. she picks on up and her eyes start to go milky. she feels around with the coin in her hand until it goes forward and the coin disappears.

>>37601117
Its a normal stone statue, just ask one of our mages who's good with stone to fix it.

>>37601138
Seems likely to work.
>roll
>>37601143
>roll twice, craftsmanship and mental domination

>>37601088
Man you cant go generalizing like that. Some of us aren't even middle-aged yet.
I still get the heat.

>>37601088
...I'm not even close to 500.
>>37601145
My father brews excelent dragon brand whiskey if you are interested.

>>37601170
The Hell?
>>37601185

>>37601088
cough27cough

>>37601117
>>37601143
Or someone could just rebuild it, but animate it so that it can talk and shit. Maybe even find the founder's soul and bind it to the statue?

>>37601170
Pulverizing pinball!

>>37601145
Apparently, I'm just glad I found him so quickly. He can be such a trouble maker when he isn't around his mommy.

>>37601117
Well, I would shut them up with a show of force using my pets... But most of them are missing. I'm thinking of putting up Missing posters around the town.

>>37601159
Technically I am 26 here and old as pit fiends in the hells soooooo.
>>37601165
Yeah I know the feeling.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37601216
woops, it was sent to the wrong address. maybe it will work this time

>>37599794
well i myself dont need a whole lot of money to do my work.

however my teaching on the other hand gets quite expensive i may be able to earn money on my personal work though

we could get the war weavers to start putting those weaving skills to good use and sell what they make

>>37601225
That's... probably a less than good idea.

>>37601185
I would, but I'm not the best at either. Anyone else up for it?

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>>37600957
Thank you Mortimer, but can I have some coffee too, I can still feel the drink I had last night.
>>37601088
I'm not event 300 yet, and Noel is way younger than me on double digits.
>>37601117
I'm in favour of anything that does not include throw me out of the hall as a distraction while the hall keeps on moving. Catching up to a moving building doesn't sound that difficult, but in practice it's hard work.

>>37601212
Drinking I am always interested friend.
>>37601220
Noel I feel like we have had this conversation before.

>>37601183
I can turn to stone does that count

>>37601260
Hells, I know I would have difficulty catching up to it without teleporting. This damn building knows how to run.

>>37601238
It appears that they have drank the coffee in a show of contempt.
>>37601225
>Roll craftsmanship
>>37601260
I don't know, it's got potential. Joking, joking. Not throwing you out of the building any time soon.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37601260
Here you go
>>37601296
Lets try tea

>>37601113
That's the whole point of the Mages Guild threads; multiple characters just fuck around and sometimes get shit done.

>>37601088
Only 500? HA!

>>37601260
I see you're still one of....well, whatever t is you called them. Fluffy animal things. 300 is quite a feat, we'll have to organize something for that occasion.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>37601307

>>37601145
Wouldn't help much.

>>37601170
? Only tossed one.

>>37601230
Please keep them on a short metaphorical leash.

>>37601296
Hello Pierre.

>>37601269
>Snaps his fingers, and a bottles of Dragon Brand apears in his hand
Here the first bottle is on the house. I hope ypu got tons of fire resistance, it's quit strong.
And while we are on age I'm only 21.

>>37601341
Youngling.

>>37601296
I've got no idea what in the Hells I'm doing, but why not.

Not like I can break it more, right?

>>37601285
No.

>>37600939
>>37601260
Huh, hold on a minute, I thought I got rid of that old nametag.
>changes to the correct one
There we go.
>>37601293
Last time I had to catch up to it I wasn't able to use any of my spells, it wasn't a fun day.
>>37601296
I'm not denying its effective, but I think once is enough.

>>37601307
>>37601326
They remain resolute in their contempt, and have begun defacing the legs of the guild hall.
>>37601334
Hello, care to help out with this one? Locals are pissed off.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>37601358
>DIIIICE

>>37601355
Sorry Soros, not everyone can be older than the gods.

>>37601269
Only slightly less recurring than questions about whether I'm a boy or a girl.
Damn you Sister Narasee, why'd you have to give me a boy's name.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37601367
Send out Marco and Polo

>>37601341
aw, that's cute. Who let the child in here?

>>37601334
True.
>>37601341
Ha fire resistance is what I do best. I live off of fire. *takes a quaff* Ha this is good.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>37601367

>>37601367
About?

>>37601386
Not all of them, just the younger ones.

>>37601393
Why waste the effort?

Rolled 8, 10 = 18 (2d20)

>>37601381
>opposed roll
>>37601388

>>37601396
Well, I could try talking to them.
*jumps out the window and crashes through the roof of someone's house*

>>37601403
I could get demons to do it this is a point.

>>37601461
Oh, here we go.

>>37601390
My father, Draconis the Red, one of the main ivestors of the guild.
>>37601393
Glad you like it. Next bottle would be 500 coins.
>>37601403
Hey Soros who is older you or my father? I know my father is old even for a dragon but I don't know how old that is exactly.

>>37601500
Ha a pittance

>>37601476
Still a waste of magic. Just Fail em.

>>37601500
I knew him as a hatchling granted he nearly killed me. I was maybe 40 at the time?

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>>37601381
They are enamored with the statue, the founder's soul is ecstatic to return to the mortal coil once more. How this statue will cope in a modern world remains to be seen, but for the time being the locals have ceased defacing our guild hall. Meanwhile, in the depths of the tower, it seems a group of overly rebellious apprentices have disregarded their department heads warnings about the dangers of chess, and have started a game!

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>37601367
That's it, you have had plenty of time to play around. Let's restore order the old fashioned way. By throwing a small army of skeletons their way until they leave us to our business.

>>37601403
>>37601482
*the hole in the roof of the house is swarmed in shadows as it repairs itself*
*James steps back into the meeting hall through a shadow*
Well that probably didn't help all that much, even if I fixed it.

>>37601500
What the- Since when did we have investors? I thought we were and independent organization that funded itself by stealing from the local people and coercing the kingdom

>>37601367
I feel like taking a walk im going to walk down the side of the building towards them that should scare them off

*casts false gravity and teleports away

>>37601537
That's an awfully small army.

>>37601531

This is not going to end well.

>>37601524
Failing them is a lot harder than that. However teaching them through pain is worth it.

>>37601531
Well, let this be a reminder that there's no problem in this world or any other that can't be solved by hitting it repeatedly with a blunt instrument!

>>37601537
No killing random peasants please Lazarus.

>>37601561
oh there gone

>>37601531
What are you talking about conspierre i have had plenty of games of chess whats wrong with it

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>37601537
Here, boss, let me help.

yo magic sux

>>37601541
What happened? I blink for a second and things get weird.

>>37601555
Both actually.

>>37601596
If you say so.

>>37601537
Behave Lazarus.

>>37601617
You behave too.

>>37601620
your not a very smart man are you anon the most volatile wizards in the land and you come and insult them

i call dibs on the corpse

>>37600699
If you must know, I was visiting Elizabeth, Crone of Fire Magics, my second teacher.

>>37601620
Calm down, we fixed your statue already!
We even made it better!

>>37601631
Remember the old saying look before you leap? I didn't. That house never saw it coming.

Oh hey. Tuypo is back.

>>37601524
Story time? My father never talks about the "good old times" only that they were "better" and then he complains about too loud barding.
>>37601522
I don't drink it. I think it tastes like piss, it probably IS dragon piss for all I know.
>>37601555
You are independent, father just gives the archwizard crap loads of gold because he really likes the guild, thus his word is valued.

>>37601651

When we're done with him there won't be a corpse left.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>37601620
You know what, I'm not in the mood for such prattle tonight.

I'm going to try flaying your undying soul in eternal agony.

>>37601665
Good for you, learn anything?

>>37601667
Ok, then. I guess.

>>37601674
Yup.

>>37601679
I was a adept wizard adventuring for some rare tomes you dad nearly crushed me when he literally got the jump on me.

File: chess.png (91 KB, 626x614)

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Make an apprentice, have a traditional game of wizard chess.
And of course, one of them has already summoned a squad of skeleton knights to the fray.

>>37601691
Don't murder random peasants please Veilhex. I expect it from Lazarus, but please try not to make my job more difficult. We DID just destroy their statue after all, even if we fixed it.

>>37601708
No, just giving her some company, still blames herself for failing to knock some morals and ethics into Ashburn, you know how it is.

>>37601708
So you weren't always as powerful as you are now, makes sense I guess. Father always says the older an artifact is the more powerful it's enchantment.

>>37601620
I will slaughter you fighter.
>>37601631
You see to fail you have to lose your soul. But I try to teach them properly because a bunch of different idiots running around spouting off about demonology but know nothing deserve to die.

>>37601713

So they're not in fact playing chess but an offshoot of Wizard Battle Chess Card Game Ultra Super Deluxe Romance Bingo 2.0?
Better tell them to construct additional pylons...

>>37601733
Dammit, I never get to flay anyone's undying souls anymore...

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Hey guys. Whats going on in this thread.

So are there any materials any departments are low on im going on one of my round the great wheel trips and may as well pick some stuff up along the way

>>37601744
I do. But you can't plant a seed on a stone and expect it to grow.

>>37601746
Well yeah, otherwise age as well as wear and tear would ruin it.

>>37601755
Fair enough.

>>37601792
Death race soon, you can wait.

>>37601798
Guild Business.

>>37601570
Indeed, I think most of it fell apart before hitting the ground. Serves me right for saving all my good skeletons for something more important.
>>37601608
>>37601631
Oh you are no fun.
>>37601617
Well you at least dared to use an army built on better materials than mine. But I don't think we have anything big enough to keep them off yet.

Alright nerds, let's do this. Those dusty old fucks can't tell us what to do!

>>37601792
i know a guy that makes a soul substitute thats just as fun to flay

>>37601798
Did I give you that?

>>37601827
I'm pretty sure both literally and figuratively most people here can tell you what to do and you will do it, willingly or otherwise.

File: Spoiler Image (47 KB, 640x480)

47 KB JPG

>Vex reluctantly walks into the hall, instead of her usual dynamic explosion through the floor
>She looks very different from usual.

Sorry about the delay, everyone.
... Something came up.

>>37601824
You're still on thin ice remember?

>>37601827
Do I need to club you boy?

>>37601815
>I do. But you can't plant a seed on a stone and expect it to grow.

sure you can you just need to right kind of seed and demiplane

For shame, my students never die in training, but broken noses are another story. I don't understand why most wizards are fo fragile

>>37601885
le gasp she is pregnant

whos the father

>>37601885
My that was fast.

>>37601746
Congratulations!

>>37601893
Not what I meant.

>>37601885
Oh my lord, congratulations!

File: O_O.jpg (14 KB, 247x246)

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>>37601885

*Hearsch has the exact same expression as the image on his face*

>>37601904
When you're dealing with protoblasmic cells and quasi-radiation pellets its a bit hard NOT to have students die. Sometimes they touch the wrong thing, knock something over, or just die.

>>37601885
Hah! It is a good day for me, Fabulous Esteban, to prove my worth in your maze of death! Lead me to the entrance, that I may lead my family's name to victory!

>>37601885
Well, fuck. Yo, dragon! You're the only one whose kid it could be, you take responsibility!

Now, I'm not too well versed in such things, but Vex, when did this happen?

>>37601917
i know that i just like picking apart analogys

which is odd because i love analogys

>>37601815
No wonder father likes you, he loves ancient artifacts.
>>37601798
What is that thing? Looks a bit like an angel.

>>37601824
As long as your definition of fun doesn't involve killing ordinary citizens of the kingdom who haven't signed the apprenticeship waiver, you are free to have as much fun as you want.

>>37601885
As expected of a half-dragon.

>>37601746
Zirconis, can I borrow you for a minute?

>>37601885
GOOD LORD IS THAT CONTAGIOUS? DON'T BREATHE ON ME! Clearly this is the foul work of some shadowy cabal of the clerics of the foul one!

>>37601964
Sure, what is it?

>>37601904
i occasionally have students die but thats because we go on field trips to places to dangerous for them to handle. if they dont come back when i get them rezed i go to the outer planes and torture there souls until they agree to come back

File: Luckily+i+have+my+secret+(...).gif (508 KB, 300x168)

508 KB GIF

>>37601713
Oh, you're going to play that game eh? Well let's see what you think of THIS maneuver.
Top that, Mr Bones.

Just pretend that the pawns are black.

>>37601970
I would prefer if you didn't use shadowy to describe bad things. Also I thoroughly doubt she is contagious.

>>37601885
>Drops out of her spell

>>37601986
You are dense my friend

>Kicks open door, bleeding from a slash across his head

I'm back. Had to say hi to an old freind.

>>37601885
Oh my, so many questions.

>>37601947
Yeah.

>>37601952
Heh.

>>37601970
She's pregnant you dunce.

>>37602004
You ok?

>>37601986
>whispering loudly
The fuck do you think!?
I've got a little witch-dragon inside me, and no one ever told me the gestation period would only be a couple of days!

>>37602006
You got Vex pregnant during that Fade To Black in the archive last night, you imbecile.

Speaking of, I've still got a recording of it, if anyone's making an offer.

>>37601885
Will we still have the obstacle course of death, or will that have to be put on hold?
>>37601887
I know, I know...
>sighs
So any chance you could help me locate the soul of Secretus? Ever since he claimed responsibility for making my apprentice kill me I've been wanting to catch that guy and shove him in a skull for the rest of eternity.
>>37601957
It's limitations like those that led me to the drastic actions I took last meeting you know.

>>37602012
[Heal]
Welcome back.

>>37602036
That is dragons for you.

>>37602027
The hell is that? Put her in isolation, I don't want to catch that!
>>37602036
This is the foulest disease I have ever heard of. The cult of the foul one shall be exterminated for this!

>>37602049
Wrong person

>>37602036
short gestation periods are great i have had wives with short and long pregnancy’s many of them multiple lengths and i can assure you short ones are better

>>37602006
I'm a sorcerer duh. I don't need to study stuff. Awesome runs in my blood.
>>37602027
Pregnant?!
>>37602036
>Whispers loudly back
I have no idea how that happened. I swear!

>>37601933
>>37601987
Both of you should teach your students some basic defenses then, or better yet let me instruct them!

>>37602077
Apologies.

>>37602071
Why am I the only one who seems to be reacting sanely or normally to this?

>>37602049
Nobody buy it!

>>37602064
Still working on it

>>37602071
What did you say about my kid?

Once more Talo's shop of totally not illegally obtained rare alchemical supplies and components is opened.
Anyone looking for something specific?

>>37602071
>>37602088
I am going too club both of you where it hurts the most
>>37602095
accepeted

>>37602071
God damit you were here when we explained this shit to that drow werent you.

>>37602099
because you understand the cycle of life and death better than anyone here?

>>37602071

I dont think they recovered from the last exterminatus you called down on them sixty-four years ago.

>>37602095
If you're stupid enough to mix volatile chemical a with volatile chemical b when expressly told NOT TO MIX THOSE CHEMICALS, then you deserve what's going to happen when you mix them.

*makes an explosion sound complete with hand gestures*

>>37602064
I assumed it was because you hated druids.

>>37602088
Haven't you ever wondered why there are so many more half dragons than actual dragons?
Now you know.

>>37602088
Yes, and you're the father, scalebrain!

>>37602064
He's slippery but I can try.

>>37602071
Pregnancy isn't contagious it's making anew being view intercourse.

>>37602088
Yup, You had sex she got pregnant. Congrats you're a father.

>>37602049
>>37601885
That progressed that far in the course of a night?
that really can't be healthy

>>37602099
And what would be an appropriate reaction?
>>37602104
YOU ATE YOUR CHILD?
>>37602064
It won't be easy, he's a slippery fuck

>>37602167
Well, not yet in any case.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>pigeon flies in with note. lands on Mortimer's shoulder.
What's this?
>reads note
Damn it dad!
>height increases to 15 feet
>>37602167
>ballshot

>>37602138
Fair enough, any wizard who can't protect himself from his own expirements doesn't deserve the title in the first place

File: abomination.png (5.34 MB, 2600x3500)

5.34 MB PNG

>Bursts through the wall.

I'VE COME FOR DRAMORN OAKENHEART. WHERE ARE YOU, SLAVE?!

>>37602167
I find sarcasm to be the appropriate reaction for a great number of things.

>>37602095
eh there fine mostly just the occasional balor or pit fiend that comes out of nowhere

>>37602139
Wouldn't my child just be a quater-dragon?
>>37602147
Well I'm okay with that. I will be an awesome father. Just like my dad...Wait I gonna scry at him and tell him he is going to be a grandpa.
>>37602148
Uh thanks Soros.

>>37602163
Look, Half/Quarter Dragon witch children are already something that normally don't happen. I think normal person biology doesn't apply to anyone here.

>>37602167
Not freaking out and declaring a simple fact of biology a horrible conspiracy?

>>37602099
Nope, i'm laughing about it.

>>37602167
No her child is growing inside her, When it come to term she'll push it out.

>>37602182
I wouldn't advise it, you'll end up hurt.

>>37602163
Magically augment growth.

>>37602199
>Binds of Destiny

>>37602212
You're welcome.

>>37602147
What?!

>>37602199
WHAT?!

>>37602148
My gods, so that's where the magic goes. Women steal our magic to make apprentices! No wonder I impulsively lead astray all who seek my tutelage! It all makes sense now!

>>37602199
I CAST FIST
PREPARE FOR COMBAT FELLOW PRACTIONERS

>>37602027
yes

>>37602182
Are you okay!

>>37602167
What about the breach of ethics that must have happened, a teacher and a student (student teacher, but still subordinate to a teacher) having sexual relations.

>>37602234
How have you not noticed >>37602194

>>37602234
*hits him with a memory crystal about humanoid procreation*

>>37602268
He's slow due to mental overload.

>>37602212
I'm honestly not sure what it'll be like.

>You Decide, /tg/!
>Come up with your own idea of what our draconic witchspawn baby will be like!
>Roll 1d20. I'll pick my favorite idea from the highest and lowest results.

>>37602213
EVERYTHING IS A HORRIBLE CONSPIRACY YOU FOOL
>>37602201
Yeah, sure you do.
>>37602229
SO THE PLAGUE IS PARASITIC IN NATURE? WE MUST STOP IT AT ALL C-
>>37602194
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW93CV6m-JU
>falls to the ground

>>37602240
that sounds like a good idea

*brings his wand of magic missile to the ready

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37602307
>A normal baby!

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37602308
There it is
>>37602307
Like Ben Stein

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31 KB JPG

>>37602240
OH YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
>>37602199
LETS DANCE FUCKER!

is that short gestation normal though or is something else at play here

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>37602307
>A completely ordinary dragon

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>37602307
>perfectly normal child. Appears human due to lack of pointed ears on the father

>>37602263
If that was a repimandable offense then Ashburn would have gotten the boot a long time go.

>>37602250
I'm swell. How are you, my young padawan? And why did you add pants to your uniform?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>37602307
>Magical Dragon boy.

>>37602308
Good night.

>>37602139
Well that's part of the reason, but I'm a bit restricted in what I'm allowed to do to them. An open war would have made things so much simpler.
>>37602148
>>37602167
I'm sure we can find him if we work together on this.
>pauses
Actually, things might be going my way for once. There is a very familiar spirit around at the moment.
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37599794/#37602120_1

>>37602323
i prepared nothing but portals this morning so this is all i have

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>37602356
Well, you did kill him
so would that count as getting the boot.
BTW, nice to see you again Noel

>>37602307
>A healthy normal child, with cat ears

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37602263
Well Soros cast some spell so I and Vex would have sex. Also I'm a teacher since well just today.
>>37602307
Obviously it will be awesome and perfect, just like it's parents.
A cute little quater dragon girl

>>37602212
It is a dominant trait I believe.
>>37602263
Zirconis wasn't actually a teacher until he signed Antruthius' book earlier today.

>>37602240
>>37602323
>>37602342
Calm down, we don't know why it is here yet, and in my experience, not all scary looking creatures, demons, outsiders, etc. are violent ruthless bastards looking for a fight... Only most of them.

>>37602199
On that note, what can we do for you?

>>37602229
>Reverse Manashift.
I WILL NOT BE DENIED

>>37602240
DO NOT INTERFERE

>>37602231
THERE YOU ARE LIZARD. I WILL FLAY YOU!

>>37602377
The hell?

Sorry, I kind of dozed off for a second, what did I miss-

>>37601885
Oh god damn it, we're going to have to deal with another pregnant witch. I thought we made it clear that guild members are not allowed to get pregnant when after I had my own child?

>>37602263
oh thats classics talo your comedy shows are the answer to our financial woes

>>37602404
I was never told of this rule. Not that I'd follow it anyway.

>>37602396

Oh hold on, he signed Antruthius's book? Oh man.....
*stifles his laughter*

>>37602389
That was personal, not council mandated. Still abusing windmagic I take it Talo?

>>37602404
I'm willing to blame the ghosts in the Archives if you are.

>>37602404
What ever happened to him by the way?
>>37602377
Oh dear.
>>37602393,1
Why....on earth... That's it, your body is going to be a window display for the transvestite clothing store.

>>37602377
Should I be worried?

>>37602393
There was still a 80% chance of that anyways I gave you two a very small nudge.

>>37602401
>Lucifix Lance.

>>37602404
It was going to happen anyways so I sped them along, still expected a longer gestation period.

Raiding in a vidyagame, Look back and see >>37601885 having like 20 replies. giggle uncontrollably.

>>37602199
AH, there you are Mister Snuggles. I've been looking EVERYWHERE for you.

>>37602366
>Blushes
Y-y-you can't just walk around with out pants!

>>37602393
......that only raises more ethical concerns
though I suppose Wizards don't have any sense of right or wrong.
Speaking of which, would yall like to see the spell I found in the ancient tomb of the mad king?

>opens the door walks in
Uhm hello, is this the mages guild? I'm looking for a mage thats adept at illusions, conjuration and other spells connected to these. I would like to be an apprentice of that mage.

completely new to this and I would like to participate, this interests me very much. Also, my english might be not that good

>>37602437
Secretus is indeed claiming he is responsible for the incident.
>>37602444
I should be able to handle this, unless he runs away like last time.
>focuses on the spiritual plane

>>37602453
Well, I shouldn't until I drop the baby weight. But you look adorable sans trousers. So, you know, sans those trousers.

>>37602443
Jake'ness Decommissioned him when he left for the Northern Wastes, like the colossal jackass he is.

>>37602465
Generally spells in the tombs of Mad Kings are bad.

So no, not right now. Wait until we meet up in the archives later.

>>37602396
I thought my kids would just be fairly normal draconic bloodline sorcerers.
>>37602443
What?
>>37602444
Of course I'm irresistible.

>>37599821
H-h-hello? I-I was t-t-told to f-find S-Soros...f-f-for assignment d-d-duty...

>>37602465
i remember when i was still a good man

i still try to act good but i cant be called good when i associate with these people