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/tg/ - Traditional Games


>>37087072
>>37087077
Is it picture day already? Why, I remember my first picture day. I had this horrid pimple on the end of my nose, and I was wearing magnificent purple and yellow robes.
>>
>>37087107
Nobody will complain if i wear a Cloak of Invisibility, right?
>>
>>37087154
Kind of defeats the purpose I'd say.
>>
>>37087154
No, my personal and office defenses work on body heat, not visuals.
>>
>>37087164
Okay fine! What about a Cloak of Displacement?

>>37087183
I wasn't planning on invading your office, what could it possibly contain.
>>
>>37087107
Now it is time to unveil my master plan! I, fryia the crow, have been planning to draw all of you all this time!
... but not now since I am busy drawing for work. Maybe later in the evening.
>>
>>37087227
I look forward to it!
>>37087225
Cloak of disgruntledness?
>>
>>37087225
As if I'd tell you. I'm not stupid enough to just tell someone about that sort of thing. Though I will say that my defenses are the LEAST of your worries once you enter.
>>
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Hey, I've got this portrait here for Anfarthon. Anyone know where he went to?

Also, what's going on?
>>
>>37087370
aftermath of a brief yet furious fashion battle.
>>
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>>37087370
He's gone on a quest of self-discovery. I'll take care of that for him in the meantime.

Today is apparently portrait day! I don't need one of course, I've had my portrait made already. I'm sure the others would be interested, though.
>>
"What? You guys had a whole meeting with out me?"
>>
>>37087396
That's magic for you. So now, who am I to draw first?
>>
>>37087450
Noel in pants will be something I savor for eternity.
>>
>>37087454
"I didn't know you rolled that way Conspierre."
>>
>>37087469
What? I cursed her to wear pants. The look on her face was priceless
>>
>>37087454
I' d like to wait until she is around though, I want to ask a brief descrition pf everyone before I draw. So either myself, you, niamal, carn or cromina if she is still around
>>
>>37087450
Another pictomancer? Lovely! Well I'll be drawing Soros next, so do as you will.
>>
>>37087259
Are you proud of it?
Now if you pardon me im going to go find some of my equipment. Anyone seen my cl-

Actually, did anyone see a Leather Drum? I infused that with a strong Earth Rune and its a little destructive as resufuckfuck
I mean, SOMEONE, not me, made a magical Leather Drum and infused it with a Earth Rune. If you see ANY Leather Drum i'll be needing it.
>>
>>37087154
If your lookin' t'cause some mischief like that, at least do somethin' funny wit' it, like leavin' your 'ead uncovered. Or if you're an 'alf-elf, y'could borrow my cloak of 'uman guise. I don't wear it tha' much nowadays, anyways.
>>37087227
I s'pose I should take extra care in cleanin' my tusks. An' tie my hair back. Would be a good time t'show off my new suit of lamellar. Maybe a cape and a 'at to keep that wizardy sorta look.
>>
>>37087450
How about I go first, it seems I missed the last round of pictures.
The recently re-resurect... ect. is not a lich and in fact has all of his fleshy parts intact. Looks old, very old, but not that frail. Being a traditionalist at heart he is always in robe and hat. I'll leave any other details up to you.
>>
>>37087478
"yes but everyone knows the only men wear pants and women wear dresses."
>>
>>37087492
On it!
>>
>>37087479
Well, I'm slightly below average height, dirty blonde hair, green eyes, rather skinny, look to be around 25ish, and have a constant wide eyed stare. I generally wear dark gray robes with the hood up in lieu of a hat, and exaggerate most facial expressions.
>>
>>37087479
Well, you know what I look like >>37087415.
But, if you'd like to know further, I look about 35ish, not quite middle-aged but still a little youthful. Deep tan skin, and brown hair tied into a long braid. I wear hanging robes and simple pauldrons, along with a headpiece to part my hair. Like most current and former residents of Rosetide, I wear no shoes.
>>
>>37087539
Understood. Go on with the overtime though!
>>
>>37087479
long blonde hair, black sleeveless minidress, yellow eyes, and now pants, plus sour expression because of them
>>
>>37087528
>>37087595
Excellent, I will be eagerly expecting the outcome then.
Oh and please let me have some hair, I realise hiding the hair under the hat or leave him bald would be very easy to do but some proof that he does still have a healthy amount of hair would be nice.
>>
>>37087596
"Oh wow, I'm so sorry Noel..."
>>
Oh, new meting!
>>
>>37087595
Well now that you mention it, wasn't Mort's sister kidnapped? I feel like we should help him.
>>
whatcha doing?
>>
>>37087630
Wait, when did this happen? What?
>>
>>37087630
"Oh oh I'll help! I'm great at helping!"
>>
>>37087630
We probably should

pic related is more or less what james looks like, used my rs char to model
>>
>>37087630
>>37087644
"I am just the best at helping!"
>>
>>37087643
I was hung over and trapped under the floorboards when he mentioned it. A few meetings ago.
>>37087644
Wait, is Stabby still dead?
>>
>>37087643
I'm not sure, but it's been a fact for some time now.
>>
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>>37087655
i always forget something dammit
>>
>>37087658
"People don't normally come back to life, so yes..... Why do you ask?"
>>
>>37087668
Speak for yourself. If someone wanted him back then it probably wouldn't be that hard to arrange.
>>
>>37087658
>>37087663
Well do we know WHERE she is? We need to put a stop to this now that Takarados' meddling is finished and the Great Pantsening is over.
>>
>>37087668
I mean he did ask to be resurrected, and he's the most talented rogue we know. And somewhat friendly with Mort. He might be able to help us.
>>
>>37087613
what about a beard and/or mustache?
>>
>>37087683
Well there's your problem - no one wants Stabby back.
>>
>>37087686
See, that's the problem. Jake'ness the Pyromancer has her in the Northern Barrens.
>>
>>37087479
A tall human, blue eyes and brown hair.
Leather armor.
He has is cursed shortsword(Give it a effect. If you don't know what, then just cover it in a mottled black glow).

You're pettry much free after that.
Other than that you can give him any other equipment, whatever effect, etc-cera. Remember that if he has any equipment he likes fumbling around with it.
>>
>>37087450
Oooh, I know I'm not here often, but let me in on this.
Eternally 25 male, with medium hair over the right eye, lean muscle showing through a tight sleeveless shirt's fabric and well fitted dark colored pants with a nice ankle-length waistcloak and workboots. This is all topped by a circlet of bone. Skin color: slightly tan Hair color: auburn Eye color: Yellow Shirt and cloak color: mauve
>>
>>37087707
"yeah pretty much."
>>
>>37087686
The problem, if I am not mistaken, is not so much where she is as it is who it is that has her. She was kidnapped by Jake'ness.
>>37087704
I'm torn between something really long or a classic villainous goatee. I'm leaning towards the goatee but I'll let you decide what looks best with the rest of the picture.
>>
>>37087690
"Yeah but i mean...... Do you REALLY want stabby back? It wasn't easy killing him last time, and i mean he stole from someone under our protection, so I mean we'd have to try to kill him again... it'd be a whole thing."
>>
>>37087769
Maybe bound as shade.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>37087769
nah he wont do anything bad this type, who will be resurrecting him?
>>
>>37087785
>Noone's eyes bug out
"I..... He's scary. please don't make him scarier."
>>
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Muwahaha!

How's everyone doing today?
>>
>>37087769
Oh that shouldn't be a problem. You see, when one becomes experienced enough in the art of necromancy one learns to leave some way of stopping your creations. I just have to leave a triggered effect that will kill him if necessary.
>>37087785
Or that, binding him to my will would be interesting...
>>
>>37087804
nice roll m8, too bad you didn't get to use it.
>>
>>37087747
>>37087711
W-well that will certainly be a problem.
>>
>>37087479
>>37087721
Addendum: Average height, add any bone protrusions you like to show off the fleshwarping.
>>
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>>37087747
Working on it.I am slow with this kind of things, so be gentle senpai
>>
>>37087823
Oh, you know. Fashion wars.
>>
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>>37087823
Vex! You missed all the fun, it was a free for all prank fight.
>>
Rolled 3839 (1d5000)

>>37087835
I'm a lucky mage, now let me tip you with some of my hats *tips (roll) hats*
>>
>>37087833
".....If you say so, but remember it's stabby."
>>
>>37087859
Aw, I would've loved to have been a part of that
>>
>>37087823
Chaste and lawful as ever. Apparently Jake'ness has kidnapped Mortimer's sister...
>>
>>37087823
...They made me wear pants. I'm still wearing them...
>>
>>37087852
Well I'm really liking what you have done so far, good work.
>>
>>37087884
Well, you look dashing in them
>>
>>37087884
I don't see the problem with pants. You look so nice in them!
>>37087852
Nice.
>>
>>37087909
Shaddup before I toss some water on you.
>>
And do you remember the gold apprentice found in the end of our last meeting, I have already used it to cover our new books with gold-platinum alloy
>>
>>37087884
I really thought they would have burned off you by now
>>
>>37087939
That gold was for the coffers, Manus!
>>
>>37087931
"The problem is that Noel is now a man!"
>>
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>>37087909
Yes, some are lucky, others get a moustache and a weird hat. I'm not complaining about the moustache, but the spell was apparently supposed to give me a top hat, everyone else ended up in one.
I couldn't find a picture of QB in a top hat, many sads were had.
>>
>>37087937
Ha! I've got fishnets on today, which grants me water-resistance!

But you're still exceptionally cute
>>
>>37087970
Did the spell give you that guitar or did you just take it out to fit the mood?
>>
>>37087952
maybe next time, there was soo much gold we even made one book completely out of gold, even pages, but writing are made out of depleted uranium for visibility
>>
>>37087931
Let's just say the orphanage I was was raised in was rather traditional and leave it like that.
>>
>>37088044
"Do you need help removing the pants?"
>>
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>>37087995
Um... yes, I think so. But with all the spells flying around I can't be sure where it came from.
>>
>>37087985
Good thing all my attacks are fire based then.
>>37088055
No no, no need for that.
>>
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>>37087890
Going on...
>>
>>37088103
Ah~ You wouldn't dare!
>>
>>37088103
"Are you sure? You seem really unhappy in them."
>>
>>37088055
*laughs quietly into his hand*
>>
>>37088103
Are you seriously telling me that someone could foil you with a simple ring of Fire Resistance?
>>
>>37088128
Remember who you're talking to, Vex.
>>
>>37088154
"What's so funny about helping a man out of some pants?"
>>
>>37088195
Just make sure you don't interfere when I make my end-of-the-year challenge to your darling lover.
>>
>>37088128
Hey Vex, how good at sneaking around are you?
>>
>>37088187
I'm...rather specialized.
>>
>>37088214
About average. I don't put sneakery to much use when hiding my majesty and stunning beauty would be akin to vandalizing a great masterpiece. Let all the weak-willed fools gaze upon my radiance and tremble!
>>
>>37088119
Still looks good, I'm really liking the spell effect you added.
>>
>>37088239
I'm so glad that my school of magic has so many combat options. This means I'm deadly one way or another.
>>
>>37088239
Didn't you take standard mage classes and spells at least?
>>
>>37088210
And what challenge would that be?
>>
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Good as they come. It could be better.
>>
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>>37088210
Still aiming for that spot as the best witch? I wish you the best of luck, and with Fryia's experience you are probably going to need it.
>>37088288
I called Fryia the best witch, I think Vex got jealous.
>>
>>37088294
>>37088288
Oh, Fryia, when you're all set, I'm challenging you to a duel.
>>
>>37088294
Gonna end it quickly and have dinner
>>
>>37088294
Nice!
>>
>>37088298
*grumble* I'm not jelly...

Also, these mustache kyubeys are pretty great
>>
>>37088294
No complaints from me, I think you did a fine job.
>>
>>37088288
I'm guessing it is about who will be head of witchcraft.
>>
>>37088294
Well that's amazing. You completed it within some minutes.
>>
arlkin is, well, a half-orc. Grayish-brown skin, small tusks, slight point to his ears, somewhat more muscular build, black, messy hair (possibly done in braided dreadlocks), kinda gruff-looking, etc. Your typical half-orc stuff. Wears leather armor when adventuring or dealing with his fellow guild members, as well as a waist-length cape and a headband, and wields a warhammer in one hand.

So, are we goin' t'talk 'bout how Vex kidnapped a witch doctor from my clan while she was in th' middle of treatin' a patient, or is that suddenly not important?
>>
>>37088294
I'm going to imagine that he talks to the skull on his staff now
>>
>>37088328
Face it Vex, you're jelly.
>>
>>37088294
Looks awesome! I'm definitely not challenging you to a draw-off, because you have the advantage in skill.
>>
>>37088328
"People are not jelly vex. All though a peanut butter and humanjelly....."
>>
>>37088349
>>37088367 "That goes for you too"
>>
>>37088346
Oh yeah. What ever happened to that ooga booga doctor? Did you guys torture or eat her, or what?
>>
>>37088294
that's impressive
>>
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Here it is. Got to go now, fellow mages! I will be back in an hour.
>>
>>37088328
That they are, but I have run out so I have to go look for, or make, more.
>>
>>37088397
I'll be waiting
>tries to look intimidating
>>
>>37088397
Fan Tastic

>>37088404
>Is pretty scared of you right now
>>
>>37088397
Holy shit
>>
Alright, so which one of you wants to go next? I have far too much free time and boundless enthusiasm.
>>
>>37088397
Simply marvelous.
>>
>>37088453
"What do you mean?"
>>
>>37088459
Well Fryia isn't the only pictomancer out here! Were my ethereal scanner not broken, I would match her efforts. Instead, I shall attempt to replicate my usual style on my eponymous tome.
>>
>>37088472
"What's a Pictomancer?"
>>
>>37088397
Oh boy, save those somewhere!
I want to see them all already but im getting sleepy.
>>
>>37088472
Oh, do that Jheska woman. I'm still not100% sure what she looked like.
>>
Hey Mages... so they let me in so I guess I'm not on the blacklist anymore. So who do I speak to now to talk about my readmission into the guild?
>>
>>37088397
Excellent, you have really captured my likeness.
Seriously, awesome work, especially the staff and details on the robe.
>>
What's the point in these threads?
>>
>>37088480
Uh, I think it's a sorcerer that divines Scottish people.
>>
>>37088544
To have fun
>>
>>37088576
I don't like that. Stop it.
>>
>>37088632
>Is having so much fun right now
"What you gonna do about, faggot?"
>>
>>37088389
We sent 'er back t'th' village. I tried t'tell you before you left, leave this stuff t'th' 'alf-orc.
>>
>>37088680
Well, did you at least learn whatever it was you wanted to about scar magic, or whatever it was?
>>
>>37088680
Heyml Magus Jarlkin, good to see you again. Any news on my reinstatement?
>>
>>37088507
Whenever the admissions department gets back in, take it up with them. How'd you get barred from the guild anyhow?
Anyways, I'm back everyone.
>>
>>37088672
Don't feed the trolls, noone, we are keep them in cages for a reason, you know?
>>
>>37088700
>hides the peanuts behind his back
"What? I wasn't doing anything...."
>>
>>37087107
Why are these threads ramping up in frequency?

Also, if you all keep the same names from thread to thread, please don't forget to label it Quest in the subject line next time
>>
>>37088763
These aren't Quests. They're Meetings. Just filter that, and you'll be rid of them.
>>
>>37088700
Whenever you're ready, Fryia. Just give the word.
>>
>>37088803
>>37088700
Don't mind me, just taking bets here.
>>
"So.... how is your sex lifes?"
>>
>>37088818
>stands next to Conspierre and stealthily drops some coins in his hand
I would like to put a bet on the challenger, I'm guessing the odds are against her?
>>
>>37088803

eh, dinners with the whole family take some time.
>>37088818
And what the subject you are betting on would be, pierre?
>>
>>37088878
Probably. I'm hoping for a dice-roll-off, and my luck is historically bad with them
>>
>>37088878
Five to one in favor of Fryia winning.
>>37088863
None of your business! You wouldn't understand!
>>
>>37088894
"I'm an elf, I always understand lewd things!"
>>
>>37088882
No prob. I'll be lurking.
>>
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>>37088780
>>
>>37088882
Oh, I'm not betting. I'm just taking the bets. If you throw this we could make a lot of money
>>
>>37088910
>erpg
You haven't updated your list in a while have you?

Nor is the vast amount of things you dislike of any concern to us.
>>
>>37088910
>erp
Its dead, forever, by based admins.
You bask into its black glow.
>>
>>37088910
Jeez, your screen must have, what, 20 threads at most?
>>
>>37088955
20 threads of not shit, yes
>>
>>37088818 >>37088913
What are the current odds on the outcome not ending with a yuri scene?
>>
>>37088973
Well, congrats, then. I have nothing negative or douchey to say to you. Uh... enjoy not this thread.
>>
>>37088991
Hundred to one against a yuri scene between Fryia and Vex
>>
>>37089019
Yeah, I don't think it's gonna happen. I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not sure if it'll get to that point.
>>
afraid I will not be able to draw he other members of the guild today, but I will work on it in the next days so worry not, next meeting I will have probably an handful of portaits to show you.
>>
>>37088933
>>37088934

See

>>37089043
>>37089019
>>37088991
>>
>>37089019
>>37089043
Dam, those are some of the lowest yuri odds I have ever seen! I must have gotten a really unlucky bingo card this time.
>>
>>37089062
Well, I'm excited, take all the time you need
>>37089043
Doesn't really fit with what's been going on lately
>>
>>37089019
... what are you talking about, pierre? I would never betray noel like this!
>>
>>37089062
Take your time. Whatever you draw will no doubt be awesome.
>>
>>37089089
Yeah, that's why I'm keeping their money.
>>
>>37089069
You mean the posts saying it's 99.999% not likely to happen?
>>
>>37088698
Uhm... I wasn't in the Mage's Guild for too long but I was the lizard that everyone says had his way with Grand Sorceress Olyra. Of course no one wanted to hear my side of the story and I was booted. She seduced me and threw a hex of suggestion on me, rather unnecessarily might I add, and I'm the victim here. But she's gone I think so no one should be worried about letting me back in.
>>
>>37089135
Oh yeah, come on in. Bar's open.
>>
>>37089108
Smart guy pierre, smart as always.
>>
"Whoa! Whats with your arm?"
>>
>>37089177
I don't know why they'd bet on that, but hey, free money for me.
>>
>>37089216
unless they were giving you fake money, or in value that will be zimbabve level in tomorrow
>>
>>37089245
Oh, I'll get the money. One way or another, I'll get the money.
>>
>>37089172
Oh, wait, really?

Huh, well thanks. I don't think we've met, I'm Dramorn, I think I saw you in the Fighter-Wizard Guild meeting.
>>
>>37089216
I said the odds of NOT ending with a yuri scene for once. Sadly no money to be made with that outcome for once.
>>
>>37089263
You shouldn't tell that to everyone, people who do this..tend to be dead in no time
>>
>>37089208
What, mine? Ole Lefty here?

Ripped it off a warforged and got it glued on by a Fleshwarper to replace the original that I lost a while ago. It's a long story but that's the short version. You don't even want to know how hard spellswording is with one arm.

I've tricked it out over the years. Has a wand of lighting bolt and a whip sword to boot. Trying to upgrade it with an actual arcane cannon and grapple hook.

The really cool thing is that I can still cast with it.
>>
>>37089313
No one cheats me out of gambling money! That...probably isn't happening now. Damn.
>>
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btw, I, while inspired by Fryia's drawing have given a try to painting, that's how I see myself now
>>
>>37089413
Magnificent.
>>
I really should've waited to make my challenge until after dinner time.

>>37089413
Damn!
>>
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>>37089509
Probably, but you can't always get your timing right.
>>
Ah, family dinner is a yearly tradition here.
So I just got back from the graveyard.
How is everyone?
>>
>>37089531
Not bad. I'm giving Fryia one last pleasant dinner with her family before I dethrone her as Head of Witchcraft in a glorious duel.

How are you, Marus?
>>
>>37089395
>touches it
>>
>>37089559
Come again, vex? You are in a world of hurt, don't you know?
>>
>>37089559
Oh not so bad, just had a gigantic turkey that I grew especially for today, and visited old dusty family.
Now I'm back and I have a headache.
So, how are you dueling? Wands at midnight? Witchcraft trivia? Who can find the slimiest frog?
>>
>>37089604
Haha! You ready?
>>
>>37089614
Always ready to beat megalomaniacs and idiots into the dust.
>>
>>37089606
catfight in the mud
>>
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>>37089531
I'm good, enjoying the moustache I got out of that free for all prank fight we had earlier.
>>37089614
>>37089635
It begins!
>>
>>37089642
A true witch never gets dirty. I could wrestle this harlot in the mud and come out without even having to take a shower afterwards
>>
Oh, how extravagant! Finally a meeting I can attend, one again!
>>
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>>37089671
So the rules are ready?
>>
>>37089635
This should be fun. But I've got some stipulations in mind before I spank you. This will be a Bewitching Duel! None of that 1d100 wizarding nonsense you've been domesticated by. We roll 1d666, like true scourges of the arcane. (I'll let you decide before we begin if you want to do sudden death/1-roll or a 2-out-of-3 kind of deal, etc). Highest number enchants the other to submission, and is declared the winner.

And so, the winner becomes the new Head of Witchcraft. But, the loser, ah, yes. The loser becomes the winner's apprentice!
>>
>>37089704
Sure.
... no, wait, what are the rules again?
>>
>>37089715
You fight in the mud, who gets out of it without need to take shower wins, easy
>>
>>37089567
Haha! Buy me a drink first! What's your name freind?

>>37089531
Excuse me, am I reading your name tag right? Your a Biomancer? What does that entail?
>>
>>37089707
Uhm tempting, Vex. Let the duel begin then. Sudden death, honey. Feel free to do the first move, I shall ruin you regardless.
>>
>>37089743
Hello there, might I interest you in additional augments my good sir?
>>
>>37089761
Oh silly me, I forgot to wear my nametag.
>>
Rolled 223 (1d666)

>>37089732
I'm not sure if that's really pertinent to being the best witch. Also, I'd have the advantage in mud wrestling. Because, you know, I live in a fucking swamp.

>>37089756
Alright, take this, the true power of the most powerful witch!
I'm going to be so pissed if this is a low roll
>>
>>37089761
Depends, what have ya got? Also I think you dropped your name tag. The name's Dramorn, Dragonborn Primal.
>>
Rolled 610 (1d666)

>>37089799
Not bad, not bad at all. Let us see what happens then...
>>
>>37089827
>>37089799

You never stood a chance.
>>
>>37089805
Carniflex is mine, I am a humble fleshwarper. I have a full complement of organ enhancements that I can do without any incision at all. I'd suggest the stamina package for a battlemage like you.
>>
>>37089827
>Overwhelmed by that admittedly fucking-amazing roll
>Collapses on knees

Agh!!! Dammit!
>>
>>37089799
>>37089827
So Vex is Fryia's apprentice now?
>>
>>37089743
What it entails? Well.. If it grows, I deal with it.
Also things like fleshwarping and magical potions and such.
Really, it's a pretty broad school. You can come look in my lab if you want.
I dabble in other things too I guess, but that's not very important.
>>
>>37089848
Yes... I admit it. You are the most powerful witch... Mistress.
>>
>>37089852
Don't be too hard with yourself, vex. You lost to the best, after all. And now...
>power word: Kill!
...
>tulips spring forth from her hand
... just joking, stand up again, Vex.
>>
>>37089852
>>37089827
Victor: Fryia.
>>37089866
It would seem so.
>>
>>37089827
We should write this victory down in my new book, this will be bestseller for teenagers...and some older men, heh
>>
>>37089892
I was actually really worried you were going to kill her off there. Not entirely sure how much you guys like Vex.

Oh.. uh. Thank, you.
>>
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>>37089877
There is no shame in being the apprentice of someone powerful.
>>37089892
Don't do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack... actually, I'm not sure if I can have heart attacks, but the point still stands.
>>
>>37089921
Vex is awesome, I like the drawings, and the witch.
>>
>>37089850
Well met 'Warper.
Hmm. This is going to sound crazy but I'm looking for something special, I was hoping the Biomancer could help me out, but you might as well.

Skin. For my metal arm.

Not just any skin, a mimic. The idea came to me in a fevered dream after a wound I got from one got infected bad. A mimic that can copy the texture and colour of my copper scaley hide and wrap around this arm. So every punch is a bite and if I can find a good druid I can Awaken the lil fella and have a partner in crime at all times, maybe even a little mage partner at that.

Like I said it's crazy, but you lot seem just the right amount of crazy.

Especially you Master Marus. >>37089873
>>
So... wha's goin' on now?

I see Friya an' Vex 'ad a duel. Is th' drawin' challenge still goin' on?
>>
>>37089954
Sure, here you go.
*throws flask with shifting "liquid" inside*
>>
>>37089921
Ah, what were you afraid of, vex, I am not the kind of person that kills over the slightest offense... well, I am no more. And I kind of like you... what do you think about working as a teacher?
>>
>>37089921
Nah, vex's shenanigans are great
>>
>>37089937
Thanks, that means a lot to me

>>37089925
I suppose it's not totally humiliating, then. I suppose I'll have to learn something from this experience.
Also, these stachbeys are starting to get to me. Not bad, Quin.
>>
>>37089970
Wait...what. Seriously? What is this? What do I do with it?
>>
>>37089743
"Hi i'm Noone! Noone Listless, Liaison to the mages guild from the thieves guild!"
>>
>>37089954
Would you be interested in making the mimic OUT of a skin sample of yours? This way, the resonance of your spells would be more in tune with each other.
>>
>>37089999
It's a mimic, apply liberally to your arm and you should get the desired result.
You have no idea how much random shit I have in my lab.
>>
>>37090000
Theives guild huh...I haven't heard of any of you guys holding a meeting. What are the entry requirements?
>>
>>37089972
That's good to hear. I'm sorry then for my haste and arrogance. I should have respected your power to begin with.

Teaching? I obviously still have much to learn, but I will concede to whatever jobs you require of me, Mistress Fryia.
>>
>>37090028
"You have to be a rogue type who steals! most meeting are kept secret because of secret pigs."
>>
>>37089965
Vex challenged Fryia for leadership of the Witchcraft Faculty and lost. As per her challenge she is now Fryia's apprentice.
>>37089921
When I said Vex was my favourite witch in the guild earlier, I meant that in and out of character.
>>37089994
There is a lot you can learn from Fryia, I learned under her back when I was an apprentice.
[spoilers]Same here, I found one and BAM, this works. But there are so few pictures of qb in a moustache so I have to edit most of them myself. This one someone actually made with a moustache though.[/spoilers]
>>
>>37090025
>>37090017

I was not expecting this level of help...I'm a little taken aback to be honest. Is there a way we could combine the two methods for an optimal result? And would the mimic be able to shift into other items (especially if I Awoke it with the help of a druid) or would it be stuck on "arm".
>>
>>37090088
The mimic would be able to shift at its own will, and all I'd have to do is merge that 'liquid' to the skin sample.
>>
>>37090088
Well, just drip a few drops of blood in there and it'll adapt to you. After that you can show up in my lab and I'll teach you the control spells if you'd like.
>>
>>37090067
Damn. My fingers aren't too sticky but when I'm out and about with my usual lads and lasses I tend to be the Face of the group. I don't what that says about the rest if the group when the burly dragon man with the fake arm is the most charasmatic one in the party.
>>
>>37090000
Hey, aren't you the guy who got me roped into helpin' you guys out?

You guys owe me. I had to deal with a mad jester, an arcane trickster with a superiority complex, a shifty-ass sorcerer who refused to show his face, and a client who tried to kill us once we brought them the loot.
>>
>>37090082
If I'm an apprentice, does that mean I still get to sit in with the council? Or do I have to be one of those little servants busing drinks around the room in the background. Ugh, please don't say the latter.
>>
>>37090055
That's perfect, after the recent happenings we are still in dire needs for teachers. You could cover the brewing potions classes in the morning and the eevening classes of daemonology. Or you could take the class of fahion and witchy style, if you prefer.
come on, killinf a character? We proud ourselves to be gentlemen and scholars and besides you are funny and good at this thing.
>>37090082
I resent that opinion of yours, Quin.
>>
Is there still anyone from rogue guild? I need to buy some reliable information
>>
>>37090151
"I can honestly say I have no idea what you are talking about!"
>>
>>37090183
Don't worry, you still get to come into the meetings, you're just a bit more liable to be pushed around by your faculty head, and everyone can boss you around a bit I guess.
>>
>>37090183
Do not be silly and change that nametag, Vex. You are officially a teacher now.
>>
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>>37090120
>>37090118

Alright gents,
>hands back the vial and rolls up sleeve

I'm ready when you are.
>>
>>37090190
I actually have no experience in summoning demons and similar outsiders. I can teach potions, no problem. And, come on, you've seen my fabulous style. Look no further than Voluptuous, Villainous Vex to teach the youngins how to look fantastic.
>>
>>37090234
>Locates a loose scale and draws a few drops of blood, puts both into the flask, then casts the merging spell.
There we go. All that's left is to slather the cute little thing on to your arm.
>>
>>37090225
Well, the nametag golem is writing out some decidedly uncouth monikers. Uh, this one says "Vex, Teacher's Pet." Uh, there's "Vex, Fryia's Bitch." Oh, and, this one that just says "Elves GTFO".

Is this thing even trying?
>>
>>37090120
>>37090118
Gentlemen, I am in dire need of the live book as they call them, one type of which are made from flesh and second is living plant, they are very....lets say, appreciated on market. Could such masters of their work help me with the books, for the reward of course. The writing in the book will finish one of my scriptorium constructs
>>
>>37090316
"That doesn't seem very nice."
>>
>>37090320
After you accused me of plagiarism? Hell no.
>>
>>37090316
Give it a kick on the leg and it will start working again, it is no like someone cursed him to make only demeaning nametags for you.
>>
>>37090353
How about we settle this down, there will be no problems with other authors of fleshwarping, with some monetary compensation and I will get my living books?
>>
"Excuse me, Can someone here validate my parking?"
>>
>>37090370
>Punts the golem

Oh, this one's nice. Student Teacher. I'm learning and instructing. Therefore, more versatile, and more powerful, than either!
>>
>>37090320
Sure, I guess, how many do you need?
>>
>>37090394
I do not think you understand. I am not haggling here. I am flat out refusing to help you with that. Those books are not to be trifled with, their protectors are fucking nuts and mechanical.
>>
>>37090414
Yes, Whatever helps you with that. .. class start tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock. Try not to be too late or too weird on your first time teaching, please.
>>
>>37090425
For the start I will need 10 such plants. Over the course of next year the number will be....maybe 300. The payment will be conducted in any precious metal you want
>>
>>37090477
Freeform RP, sorta like a quest except we all made our own character. It's sorta fun.
We're all in a wizards guild meeting and such, it's gaining popularity on /tg/
>>
>>37090487
How many students do we even have around here? I must say I rarely see any apprentices in my neck of the woods. Er... swamp.
>>
>>37090496
Why would I need precious metals?

>>37090502
It varies from week to week with casualty numbers and such.
>>
>>37090471
The protectors, who, PETFB?
>>
>>37090502
Your class has roughly two hundreds students in it. Brewing is quite a common choice of a course for witches, after all.
>>
>>37090193
Musta been some other representative, then.

The Thieves Guild still owes me compensation for helpin' them out on that. 'Specially because our client tried to fucking kill us to get out of paying us the reward.

>>37090477
Basically freeform roleplay where people just talk in-character about wizard guild stuff. We've got similar ones for a thieves guild, a fighters guild, and a druid circle.

Also, is Friya still doing the drawing thing?
>>
>>37090531
twohundred!!! Oh gosh. Field trips to the swamp for ingredients are going to be tedious.
>>
>>37090502
"Oh hello miss."
"Hey baby, how you doin?"
>>
>>37090551
I just started posting.
>>
>>37090551
just start posting, yo!
>>
>>37090518
Oh, most of the workers accept only precious metals. I could pay in any coins you would like
>>
>>37090551
Make a name and start posting, it's free for all wizard shenanigans with occupational on the fly plots.
>>
>>37090559
You two wouldn't happen to be in my potions classes now, would you?
>>
>>37090553
You better get good at mass teleport, so ti speak
>>37090549
currently on the deadline for an assignment so not now, but next meeting I would have probably come up with an handful of new drawings. You wanna one, just write your description in this thread
>>
>>37090502
Enough that we don't really notice when some of them go missing or blow themselves up. Most of the apprentices who join up have a fairly short lifespan.
>>37090559
Hello to you two, how are my two favourite apprentices doing?
>>
>>37090587
Wha? Why'd I need coins?
>>
Apologies for missing the vast bulk of the meeting, i had to root out and discipline a ring of students selling recording of their scryings. What did i miss?
>>
>>37090409
TODD!!!
>>
>>37090612
"I belive so miss. I look forward to learning from you."

"I sure am honey!"

>>37090649
"Good afternoon Sir! I'm doing well, last week I was able to raise a skeleton."

"Sup broski!"
>>
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>>37090713
I lost my big duel with Fryia, and now I'm her apprentice. Also the new potions and fashion instructor

>>37090737
Well, I've never taught anyone anything before. So don't cause any trouble for me.
>>
>>37090729
"....Yes?"
>>
>>37090655
any currency you would like m8
>>
*walks out of his guildhall shadow*
>>37090713
Soros!
I have something important i need your help with!
>>
Magus Jarlkin! I know you probably don't remember me, I wasn't in the Mage's Guild for too long but I was the lizard that everyone says had his way with Grand Sorceress Olyra. Of course no one wanted to hear my side of the story and I was excommunicated, mostly over fearing her wrath if they didn't support her. She seduced me and altered my mind state, rather unnecessarily might I add, and I'm the victim here. Now that she is gone might you see what can be done about my readmission?
>>
>>37090749
Ah duels, good times. Remind her to tell you of the time i beat her, twice. *smiles* Anyways good luck Vex.

>>37090777
Ok what is it?
>>
>>37090755
m8? Are you sure you're the head of the guild library? Not some skulking person from the thives of merchants guild trying to get dangerous esoterica off us?
>>
>>37090628
Gotcha. I believe I had one written up earlier. I suppose I'll re-post it here.

Jarlkin is, well, a half-orc. Grayish-brown skin, small tusks, slight point to his ears, somewhat more muscular build, black, messy hair (possibly done in braided dreadlocks), kinda gruff-looking, etc. Your typical half-orc stuff. Wears leather armor when adventuring or dealing with his fellow guild members, as well as a waist-length cape and a headband, and wields a warhammer in one hand.

So, anyone need me t'get somethin' done 'round here?
>>
>>37090713
I've had my likeness put unto paper >>37088294
And Fryia has a new apprentice.

>>37090737
Good to hear it, just let me know if you need any tips.
>>
>>37090812
Good for you!
>>
>>37090749
>Has his brother in a head lock. Somehow.
"I'm so sorry ma'am, I'll be sure to gag him bef-"

>Punches his bother in the face
"Trouble? me? please."
>>
>>37090777
Wouldn't mind seeing more duels around here. It was very fun.
>>
>>37090655
>>37090315

Okay, here goes. I juse want to thank you so much for the help, I thought that there would be a lot more ass pain, if it would even be possible.

>Begins to uncork-

>>37090794
WHAT THE HELL.
>>
>>37090804
Aetherius and I have come up with a possible countermeasure for the "decommissioning" spell, I need help with testing it with your spelleye and divination.
>>
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>>37090822
Soros, you missed the huge free for all prank fight. It started with Pierre trying to make Noel wear pants, and then it escalated.
>>
This all reminds me, I never intended for Marus to be human, but elf and orc seems overdone now, and I hate dwarves, any ideas?
>>
>>37090822
>Noone spot soros and runs over to whisper something in his ear but trips and is about to collide with the Diviner
>>
>>37090809
First of all I am our Head Librarian, second it's not that rare or dangerous, it's on what our library survives.Do you think the funding of mage guild cover up all precious metals we use in our books, HA , with only them we wont be able to even keep the building intact
>>
>>37090865
Bugbear
>>
>>37090865
GNOME MASTER RACE!
>>
>>37090865
how about a beast man, we only have that catgirl paladin so far
>>
>>37090804
Soros. Just when I was going to say I am glad to see you, you had to point that out.
>>37090811
good, good. On my list it goes.
>>
>>37090857
Sure, sounds like fun.

>>37090861
Drat, sorry i missed it.

>>37090874
*invisible servants catches Noone and set him on his feet*

>>37090865
hobgoblin
>>
>>37090865
gretchin or goblin
>>
>>37090897
well, third time's usually the charm isn't it little Fryja? *smiles jokingly*
>>
>>37090822
I want to draw one for you too, soros. Just write down your physical description
>>
>>37090841
Now now. Settle the brotherly fighting for when I arrange the students into gladiatorial combat.

>>37090905
Soros, you have an apprentice, right? Is he/she going to be in my classes?
>>
>>37090865
Wait, is orc overdone? The only reason Jarlkin is a half-orc is because he's based on a Pathfinder character I ran who was one. Also, perhaps Kobold or Gnome?
>>
Ok, so far it's between Bugbear and Gnome, I do like the idea of a bugbear wearing a robe and telling people to please sit down and please try some of my home grown tea
>>
>>37090905
"Can you help me keep an eye on Pierre and the head necromancer? They where talking about bringing Stabby back."
>>
>>37090956
Awesome. I now imagine you voiced by Kelsey Grammer.
>>
>>37090865
As a Biomancer and Fleshwarper you've obviously self-evolved beyond your original dragonborn form.
>>
>>37090942
>arrange the students into gladiatorial combat.
You what?
>>37090918
I will stomp your face into the dirt one day soros. Be warned.
>>
>>37090956
you know what you should go with instead of a bugbear?

Awakened Owlbear
>>
>>37090989
That's what teachers do, right?
>>
>>37090942
>Is 2 heads on one body
>>
>>37090930
Tall, thin, pale, eyes taht never seem to be the same color when you look at them again, clean shaven, grey haired, Prefers a Blue robe of fine make, usually has a dagger, his bouncy balls, and a crystal ball on him. This enough detail?

>>37090942
He might be, still working on his schedule.

>>37090965
Gladly.

>>37090989
*smiles* you can try.
>>
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>>37090992
God am I grumpy in the mornings.
>>
>>37091011
... next morning, instead of going to teach, you will come to my office and we will have a little chat about your newfound duties
>>
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>>37091024
You should visit Sir Archibald Frothington sometime. He's growing into an adorable killing machine!
>>
>>37091011
That's what the truly great ones do.
>>
>>37091040
Yes, Mistress.
>>
>>37091040
*gives Fryja a thumb pup*
>>
>>37091011
Not with those two, they are a rare bread of apprentice in being ones I actually like. I would be most cross if you manage to get them killed.

Feel free to do it with the others though, most of them could use some weeding out.
>>
>>37091015
what I find amusing is, I actually pictured him very similiar to this description in my mind. Thanks and will do.
>>
>>37091040
oh...that's nice...should write this one in the next book for sure
>>
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>>37091083
>Pick related
>>
>>37091075
Good girl, good girl.
>>37091077
See, I am not that bad at teaching after all.
>>
>>37091049
Aaaw, he's growing up so fuzzy, good boy, I'll get you some nice tough bones and steel shavings to toughen up your beak.
>>
>>37091083
Yes, sir. You have my word that I won't intentionally get them killed.
>>
>>37091128
So as an awakened owlbearwhat do you recommend for Awakening my mimic?
>>
>>37091162
Steady diet of crystallized magic.
>>
>>37091146
Wait, no! Listen to me, the head of necromancy is a good fellow but never ever should you ask him for advice in this matters least you want to lose half your students in one go.
>>
>>37091093
Cool.Funny how that work sometimes ain't it?

>>37091117
Never said you were a bad teacher, you just need more emotional control.

>>37091128
On that topic how Did you awaken?
>>
>>37091083
Oh, ex-head of necromancy, do you some spare spooky skeletals for night duty in our library?
>>
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>>37091194
I really don't remember.
It's been very very long, I remember a nice lady giving me a kiss on the forehead though, and then everything went bright.. And I had thoughts.
>>
>>37091192
Oh, uh, yes. Don't worry, Mistress, I'll make sure my students aren't viscously mutilated in any way.
>>
>>37091108
Oh don't look so smug about being the first apprentices in years to earn my approval... actually, keep looking smug, you have earned it.
>>37091146
Good, I guess that's all I can ask for I guess.
>>37091192
I know I have a bad track record with apprentices, but I've never lost that many apprentices at once.
>>37091227
Sure, they are in the basement with the other undead.
>>
>>37091251
Please enchant me some of those thoughts, Marus.
>>
>>37091264
Cromina approves your way to deal with students. This alone should lead you to question your own methods
>>
>>37091282
What do you mean?
>>
>>37091251
Sounds divine Marus *sniggers* Sorry puns.

>>37091264
Hey Lazarus, how goes it?
>>
>>37091264
Thanks, I will go to basement and get them from there. And are they already "activated" or they're still bones lying on the ground?
>>
>>37091300
You were kissed in the forehead by a
"nice lady"
and then
"you had thoughts"
Tell us about it!
>>
>>37091339
I... I meant sentience, Redwood.
I had sentience.
>>
>>37090889
Speaking of which, what should I do if that paladin tries to uh... fornicate with my students?
>>
>>37091369
Okay, fine.
Tell us about the Lady then.

>>37091394
Erm pardon me but aren't Paladins pure?
>>
>>37091297
I'm not sure I see the problem with that.
>>37091312
Quite well actually, haven't seen Lich Cerik yet tough so I might have to take over as head again in his absence so we can actually get things done in the Necromancy Department.
>>37091325
They are standing but dormant, I left instructions tied to the neck of the one in front for how to get them moving.
>>
>>37091394
Set her on fire or something like that, I find her to be annoying as no one else is.
>>
>>37091407
Okay! I'll be back in no time
>>
>>37091394
What your apprentices do in their own time is up to them. Unless you tell them otherwise of course.
>>37091406
Most are, but catfolk are known for being literal "lewd beasts".
>>
>>37091406
Well.. I made the painting I showed you earlier, that's what she looked like.
She was very comforting, and had a silent grace about her. She smelled like tilled earth and the woods in spring, and like blood.
You can't see it there but she had it all over her hands and chin.
She smiled, her teeth were sharp. And she kissed me.
After that she had disappeared by the time I opened my eyes.
I have made it a point not to seek her out in all the years I've been alive, you don't hunt something like her, she hunts you.
>>
>>37091407
Not surprised are you?

>>37091394
Water bottle

>>37091406
Catfolk Paladin, no nudity or sexual taboos.

>>37091453
Sounds like a nature deity. I could look her up if you want.
>>
>>37091486
Well, yeah, ofcourse. But no, you can look her up for yourself if you want.
She can see me if she wishes, but I will not hunt her.
This was also like.. Several thousand years ago.. So she may have changed a bit.
>>
>>37091453
Oh my. Your fair lady seems no fair at all, marus. If I were you I'd hope not to see her again.
>>
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>>37091438
What if I bring out the "Oathbreaker"? +4 against paladin tushy.
>>
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><---(Meanwhile in the basement)
>>
>>37091506
Or she might have gotten offed, nature deities have a pretty short shelf life sadly.

>>37091527
She might enjoy it, or overpower you and use it on you.

>>37091536
Lazarus your skeletons are getting out of hand in the basement again.
>>
>>37091536
Have fun
>>
>>37091486
Well, you know Cerik and his reputation for skipping work. I have already started taking up more duties in the department to make the transition as smooth as possible. I'm not sure what to do about the new name tag though The recently reinstituted head of necromancy perhaps?
>>
>>37091527
Whatever, as long as she does not lay her paws on my students.
>>
>>37091545
Yeah, always a chance. I think I gave her some of my game, I think that's where the blood came from.. It's all so hazy..

>>37091527
I bet she would enjoy that actually, did you know cats have barbed penises?

>>37091536
Give it a good whack on the skull, if they don't listen after that, either run or break them.
>>
>>37091536
>>37091545
>sighs and grabs his staff
I left very easy instructions for how to activate those skeletons safely. Oh well, guess I got to go take care of this.
>>
>>37091545
I.. hadn't thought of that. Given my luck with dice rolls, that's surprisingly likely.

>>37091555
I'll do my best to keep her paws off of them, Mistress.
>>
>>37091554
Just use you name, it's easier.

>>37091562
I'll check around, just in case.

>>37091571
Good luck.
>>
>>37091571
Can I have some of the femurs for Archibald?
>>
>>37091593
Greatest weapon a wizard has is his mind Vex remember that.
>>
>>37091527
You're making me unseasonably warm.
>>
>>37091614
Yes, Master Soros.
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37091571
>(the skeleton army intensifies )
The shouts from the basement: "You foking skeletals, oh no you didn't!"
>>
So who haven't I met?
>>
>>37091632
>>37091670
I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Vex, no longer the most powerful witch, but certainly still the most fabulous.

You should cool yourself off in my swamp sometime.
>>
Finally back from this basement.
I wont go there again, now those raging skeletons are Lazarus problems
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>37091652
With so low a power roll, they ain' t do any harm. Yet still...
>control undead
>>
>>37091695
>most fabulous
Don't make me beat you down twice in a row, vex.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>37091652
Oh stop that you pile of bones!
>casts greater hold undead
>>
>>37091730
>>37091731
What's with all the rumbling?

>Redwood deads down to the basement
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>37091710
Whoops. I hope our little duel didn't burn out your witchiness for the day, Mistress.

I'll join in, since I'm not doing anything else right now.
>Make the skeletons dance harder
>>
>>37091745
>Deads down
Fuck, *heads down
Why


>>37091748
>Redwood enters after Vex delievers his combat roll, seeing the fucking Skeleton Horde Dancing
>>
>>37091695
Well met, I'm Dramorn, thrower of fireballs and lighting amoungst other things, and proud future parent of an arm mimic.

I am rather fond of swamps myself, I'm sure yours is especially lovely.
>>
>Does the thriller
>>
> tfw none posts theme music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6-ZGAGcJrk
>>
>>37091731
And that's why I was the head of necromancy!
>>37091748
Oh please don't encourage them.
>>37091843
I was going to but I was on the phone.
>>
>>37091730
I deeply apologize, Mistress. But my radiance cannot be measured in dice. I mean, please don't be offended, as you are especially lovely.

>>37091817
It really is beautiful. Perhaps you can join me there tonight when the mushroom people launch fireworks to kick off the new year.

In fact, everyone is invited to the mushroom fireworks! I realized this is your first new years in my swamp, and you'll all love it.
>>
Ok guys, gather round. I don't know about your timezone, but here the new year is starting right now, so have an hppy new year feom me and cromina who's playing dark souls right next to me, the idiot. Let me say you are the ampng the best things I discovered his year and I look forward to another year of shenanigans with you fellow wizards.
>>
>>37091864
at least now they wont jump on people, still they are best night workers librarian could imagine
>>37091884
swamps....swamps..Yes, that swamp
>>37091899
good thing that cromina is giting gud
>>
>>37091899
I'm a filthy Murican, so I'm a little behind, but I fully agree. You guys have been fun, and are the reason I keep coming back to /tg/. Have a happy New Year.
>>
>>37091899
Happy new year to you too, crazy bird lady!
>>
>>37091899
American here looking forward to it. Happy new year!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>37091864
>>37091748
What the hell are you two doing? This isn't how you do it.

>Casts turn undead!
>Abefore you ask, yes, im just looking for excuses to burn a Dice.

>>37091899
>Calling someone next to you an idiot
Carful
Also, merry Christmas, i guess.
>>
>>37091899
Same time zone here, as I think we established earlier, happy new year to the both of you.

Actually, happy new year to all of you. This has been a good year of wizard shenanigans, so let's have another like just as good.
>>37091919
Well at least help direct them to where they should be.
>>
>>37091884
Oh, it would be my pleasure! My homeplace was littered with swamps as soon as you left the city and got southward through the bay area.

And myconids, gotta love 'em. Harworking, honest, hallucinogenic, some of the best folks around.

I'll bring some wine.

>>37091899
Who is Cromina? I've heard of this one many times.
>>
>>37091999
"A really scary lady."
>>
Is it too late to hop in with a new character? Should I just wait for the next thread?
>>
>>37092051
HOP IN
>>
>>37091899
Happy new years Fryia, tell Cromina happy new years as well.
>>
>>37091925
>>37091949
My Fellow Americans of African origin.

Any East Coasters?
>>
>>37092060
*raises hand*
>>
>>37092060
Yo!
>>
Happy newyears from everyone in Norway, just came back from the fireworks.
>>
>>37092051
Feel free to join at any time

>>37092060
Massachussets
>>
>starts setting up kegs
>>
>>37091999
Cromina was once Cromwald the Destroyer a member of the fighters guild before becoming the victim of a prank enchantment put on the fighters guild entrance turning anyone who walked through it into a woman. She has since become an Eldritch Knight and the head of Applied Magic.

Actually it's been a while since the apprentices pranked the fighters guild, I think she might have deterred them from trying again.
>>
>>37092124
"Uhhhh like what happens if someone from the mages guild did pranks the fighters guild?"
>>
>>37092145
You get cake, or cookies, or cupcakes. Whatever, you get tea and associated goods from me in my lab.
>>
>>37092060
Connecticut
Let's see if this thread lasts until our midnight
>>
>>37092162
"I switched out all there alcohol with O'Doul's."
>>
Greetings, fellow Great Wizards, it is I, your immortal bane! I have no need of your pictures, because...because pictures could not possibly portray my true awesomeness! Ha, you would do well to tremble before my might, for I could end you all with a glance. Do not test me; I would shoot shuriken-lazers from my eyes to burn and impale you, part your head from torso with my katana, spike your skulls on my horned helme-

No mum don't come in I'm talking with those people I told you about! No, I don't need anything to drink! I drank that girl's soul on the way back from school, remember? No, they're real souls, mum, it's not lemonade I swear. Don't hug me in front of the other Wizards! I'm thirteen now, I'm too old for that. Dad said I have to start acting like a real Darklord. He said I could stay up until midnight now for New Years, too. No, he did, he did!

Fine, I'll clean my room when I'm done. Now get out! I'm being cool with the wizards. And don't call me Ozzy! I told you, it's Ozymandias the Unholy now. Lu'cif'r, I hate you mum...

...

Fear me! For I am your inevitable demise! You should enjoy this new years while you can! But, in the interim between your bloody deaths and the present, may I inquire as to where I could obtain a lock capable of keeping out stupid mums who don't respect Prince of Daemon's privacy?
>>
>>37092194
>Is pretty scared
>>
>>37092145
Depends on the prank, if it's another portal to the elemental plane of catgirls they usually get's unlived on the spot, we had enough of that prank ages ago.
>>37092190
That prank will get you a good job and a pat on the back. Just don't make it a habit, repairing our relations with the fighters guild took a while.
>>
>>37092194
>brety gud
>>
>>37092190
You get extra brandy in yours.

>>37092194
You'd be one of the new apprentices then? You can sign up for departments with the secretary, or you can approach us in person.
What's your name? Do we call you Ozzy? I'm ok with that.
So. Looks like you may want to study necromancy?
>>
>>37092194
Hi Ozy! The only locks capable of keeping out you mother would cost well above what you could afford. After all you um know knock.

>>37092124
She did, mostly. I can say if my students make a prank they do it properly and untraceably.
>>
>>37092194
So, which dark and evil overlord is your father, "ozzy"?
>>
>>37091949
Hey, Master. How are you this evening?
Canadian, here

>>37090942
I've got enough credits to take either of your classes, Miss Vex. Should I go for potions or fashion?
>>
>>37092244
"Don't mock him! He's drink your soul like"
>makes slurping sound
>>
>>37092090
I guess that makes us neighbours, I'm from Sweden.
>>37092194
Welcome to the Department of Necormancy, you will fit right in with the other apprentices.
>>
>>37092254
canada eh?
well time to switch roles, goig to get good at dark souls. Farewell comrades, it has been entertaining as always.
>>
>>37092254
Hello Marcus! Did Maxwell and Lombardi finish their punishments for selling recordings of their scrying of Fryja and Noel? Also unless you want to dress in drag take potions.

>>37092294
Playing until you die and switch off?
>>
>>37092254
Fashion. Definitely fashion.

>>37092294
Have a good night. Thanks for indulging in Vex's duel.
>>
>>37092322
"why are you teaching fashion at a mages guild?"
>>
>>37092310
until crom gets too tired of dying to go on, I am still leagues above her anyway
>>
>>37092338
Ever hear of fashionista's? Yeah.. Those are from here. They don't interact much with the rest of us.
>>
>>37092339
will Crom be getting on?
>>
>>37092339
heh always wanted to play, never got a copy. Need to finish my backlog of games first though.

>>37092338
Don't ask.
>>
>>37092310
They're almost done, I think.

That's not usually an issue with witches, is it?
>>
>>37092339
and on what boss he is dying?
>>
>>37092352
"The fuck is a fashionista and why do I have the uncontrollable urge to kill someone right now?"
>Is stabbing the nearest person next to him
>>
>>37092377
No, but Vex only does female fashion. You'll enjoy the view but get mocked by almost every male you meet.
>>
I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this picture. Guess it's goodbye moustache for this thread after this.
>>37092375
So Soros, any news on my spell casting?
>>
>>37092418
Made a few breakthroughs, would have made more except for aforementioned apprentices selling crystals recording Noel and Fryja fun times. Let me tweak the field and then power it up.
>>
>>37092338
I'm shocked to find my fellow elf so out of touch.

Style should never be ignored, dear Noone. It is what separates us from common mages. One should always look their best when, and often in the assistance of, manipulating the fabric of reality.
>>
>>37092382
[Spoiler] gargoyle. Not going to tell her to put on the electricity enhancement though, wnat to see how much it takes to realize it herself. Would it surprise you to know she is actually a woman?
>>37092356
Only if she gets too bored seeing me clearing everything she can't.
>>
>>37092234
My father, a terrible and mighty figure, has already me up for necromancy.
>>37092288
Good. I hope they will fear me as is proper. I, in turn, shall treat you as any true prince of the black lineage should. Do any of the apprentices like katanas? I like katanas.
>>37092235
Aw. I'll have to keep the sign I hang on my door for when I'm hanging out with the other darklings, then. And it's Ozymandias the Unholy, please.
>>37092244
Thesaur- I mean Isaurus the Great Defiler. Mum always laughs when I say that, I don't know why.
>>37092275
I will, lowly one, and it shall taste sickly and bitter and acrid and...and delicious. I will not throw up like last time, because dad was not pleased when I did that.
>>
>>37092411
When I get through with your apprentice, not a boy in the mortal world will laugh or joke about his stunning wardrobe. He'll look positively adorable! Perfect for bewitching all of his fellow apprentices. Maybe even some teachers while he's at it.
>>
>>37092060
Hello. New Yorker here.
>>37092194
Hoy, small fry. Welcome t'th' guild. Now, I seem t'be th' de facto adventurer extraordinaire 'round these parts. Whether it's delvin' into dark caves, diggin' up artifacts in ancient ruins, or sailin' th' seven seas, I'm th' man t'see. Jus'... don't run with the Thieves Guild. It never ends well.
>>37092418
You could always resort to photoshopping moustaches onto Jubey. It is a reanimated kyubey corpse after all
>>
>>37092456
What's going on? Who's Crom?(outside of Conan the Barbarian)


>>37092475
You should probably calm down a bit, put down that shitt..Interesting, I mean interesting and exotic sword, have some tea and we can go over the brochure, I'm sure you would like to study something else as well? It's not up to your father what you pick.
>>
>>37092194
Hey, I'm pretty new too, well not really but it's a long and sensual story. Good to have you!

>>37092124
That is the most beautiful thing if heard in years.
>>37092080
>>37092077
>>37092179
>>37092092
I'm from Baltimore, er "Calvert", myself. She's the love of my life she is.

>>37092090
Ah, a northerner! A beautiful land, to be sure, the second love of my life, next to your neighbor country.
>>37092145
I don't think we've met formally either lad, I am Dramorn "Soon-To-Be-Flesh-Arm" the Dragonborn earthbreaker, wielder of the forces of nature! Or something.
>>
>>37092456
So maybe depending on how easily you do it?

>>37092475
Dropped your nametag Ozzy.

>>37092506
Crom aka Cromina
>>
Yash! Weeeeell met erryone!
Fryia irl is such a prick
>>
>>37092437
"They are clothes! that's all. If you can't look good in a burlap sack, wearing something else won't help with that!"

>>37092475
>Wets himself
>>
>>37092501
That's uh... tempting? But I'd rather be, you know, Manly™. Maybe I'll do your potions class instead.
>>
>>37092541
Hello Cromina, are you drunk? *inches away slowly*
>>
>>37092501
Yeah I was warning him as such. I doubt he wants to be a trap.

>>37092564
Told you so.
>>
>>37092565
Soros pliz, I'm not drunk- yet.
>>
>>37092541
you died to gargoiles, they are not THAT hard I'd say. how many times?
Hi
>>
>>37092529
Well that's embarrasingly obvious
>>
>>37092541
"Cromina! If it true you used to be a man?"
>>
>>37092586
That is not reassuring <Titan's strength>

>>37092595
Yup
>>
>>37092504
Ah! A mighty city indeed. I was actually born in the island of Mann'Hatan. I prefer the subtle charm of my fair Calvert.
>>
>>37092508
"Hello good sir, I am Krogrr and this is my brother, Brogrr."
>>
>>37092579
To be honest irl, I'd love nothing more, but Marcus wants to be a manly man

I'm sure potions will be fine. I mean, divination features some alchemy to hone one's mind, right, Master? Like that Spice of Arrakis, stuff.
>>
>>37092586
Good Evening Cromina.
>>
>>37092501
No mortal would laugh, but the whole mage guild will. Or maybe most mortals too
>>
>>37092641
I have some of that in my lab, but it's very underwhelming.
The worms are cool though.
>>
>>37092641
Yes, certain potions and agents can be made and used to boost one's prowess in Divination or magic in general. Do be warned the more potent it is, the more side effect there will be. The spice of Arrakis is addictive and will mutate you with use. Fair warning.
>>
>>37092691
>>37092701
Noted
>>
>>37092597
Uh, who told you? Fine, it is true, look it up in the archive, it was that one time with the stars on hats issue I think.
>>37092589
Yeah, fuck you too.
let the newbie die, pliz. Still a noob after all.
>>
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>>37092436
Excellent, as I have said before while I don't really have any problems with the body itself the lack of spellcasting is becoming a bother.
>>37092504
I have been pasting moustaches on qb pictures for a while now and I'm getting tired of it. I'm assuming Jubey is from one of the movies? I've only seen the series.
>>37092541
Hello again Cromina, how goes your night?
>>
What everyone think about dragon as warden of my books, skeletons are good for basic books, but more rare are still not save?
>>
>>37092541
Well Met fellow warrior mage! You missed the first meeting of the newly minted Fighter-Wizard Guild, I'm sure you would have been well received!

>>37092638
Hile brothers, well met. I have a brother too, a Sorcerer. I hope he finds his way here someday.
>>
>>37092727
They're very proud, you'd have to pay them a LOT.
Enslaving them is a very bad idea though.
>>
>>37092475
Ah, a katana wielder, are ya, Small Fry? Jus' a bit of advice from a fellow spellsword; while they're quite sharp, they're just as brittle as a result, an' break easily if y'don't swing 'em right. Keep your wrist nice and limp, like you're castin' out a fishin' line. Otherwise you'll crack it like an egg. I'd recommend somethin' a bit more durable for an apprentice like y'self. Perhaps a I could commission a good ol' fashioned orcish warhammer from my clan's blacksmith. Or, perhaps somethin' tha' relies more on finesse than brute strength, like a rapier or a saber. Or if you'd prefer t'use somethin' of eastern origin, a dao might be of interest t'you.
>>
>>37092720
"Do you wanna be a man again?"
>>
>>37092727
What kind of dragon? I only ask because we might be distantly related.
>>
>>37092506
Thanks, but people couldn't see my katana if I put it down. And dad said I had to take necromancy. He said the other Darklords would laugh at a Darkling who couldn't even lift the dead from their graves. But...I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing how obviously lame something like healing magic could be. You do healing, right? Not that I'd care, of course.

>>37092504
Thank you, tusked one. I will remember those who helped me.

>>37092508
I do not know what sensual means, but it is good to meet you too.

>>37092529
Damn, thanks. I guess I'll just close my other tabs for now.

Well, it's New Years here in England, now. I'd be sad that I'm not at a party right now, were it not for the fact that I hate parties and all my friends are asleep anyway. Happy new year, and I swear I'm not as lonely as that above paragraph sounded.
>>
>>37092682
>>37092721
Hello guys, went to pick a fight against a pair of gargoyles. Not that easy but check it out, I made axes out of heir taes and they are, like, totally bitchy.
>>
>>37092720
I'm afraid that was me, one of the newer members wanted to know. I'm sorry if you didn't want me to bring it up, I figured it was more or less common knowledge.
>>
>>37092714
As long as you know.

>>37092721
*tweaks the field it zaps quin* That should get you some basic magic back. Sorry for the slow progress I have been distracted of late.

>>37092727
Use a celestial, less fire more smiting. Dragon would steal the book anyways.

>>37092773
I understand the sentiments, copy and pasting for the name helps.
>>
>>37092751
They are warding my books, the book which are made of pure gold, with platinum writings on it. Too just see those riches many dragons would say , YES!
>>37092771
some greedy, who wont let thieves take my precious gold books
>>
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>>37092683
I think you're in need of a little attitude adjustment. I like the sound of "Library Princess Mana Deleos".
>>
>>37092773
Tell you what, don't think of your dad, have some tea, and let's look at this brochure.
And yes, we do healing magic, I know quite a lot of it myself as I use it in my pursuit, I can even teach you a quick spell right now, all you do is do this chant ***EDITED OUT*** and snap your fingers, then trace your fingers above the open wound. It will close the skin without a scar.

Now, we have many departments, if you want to learn more healing I can help you with that, I teach a basic class of it.
Anyone have a picture of an Owlbear in a robe?

>>37092809
Ok, that will probably work,not so sure about lending them back out though.
>>
>>37092744
Nah, have been there for a little while, I like the work ye guys are doing, keep up with the good stuff.
>>37092794
Who cares, I don't give two wizard hats about it but it has the side effects of keeping away potential male partners.
>>
>>37092845
WHAT WHAT ABOUT MORTIMER!
>>
>>37092826
You do that, I turn you into a Vexus. *smiles*

>>37092845
Pretty sure with the exception of Mort you went for the girl Cromina. What changed?
>>
>>37092780
Fancy.
>>37092773
Happy new year and welcome to the guild
>>
>>37092829
I can whip something up quick. Like a fancy robed owlbear smoking a pipe? Or an owlbear in a wizard robe?
>>
>>37092874
That would be awesome. So awesome.
>>
Well im out guy Happy New Year!
>>
>>37092869
I, i do, ehr, not know what you making a big fuss about mate. Eheheh, ehm.
>>
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>>37092796
No problems, you have been a miracle worker. Now let's try this out.
>attempts to casts a spell and burns her moustache
Aaaaah, my moustache! I liked having a moustache again...

Oh well, at least it's sort of working again, but I guess I have to get used to having all this extra power to work with. Practice, practice and practice should solve that though.
>>
>>37092897
Night, Master
>>
>>37092870
Kindly remove yourself from my beeswax, Master Soros.
But also, happy new year

>>37092896
Wait, which one?
>>
>>37092897
Weeee wil miss ya soros! Happy new year!
>>37092870
Girls, guys, who cares. As long as I am on top.
>>37092872
eheh, aren't they?
>>
>>37092780
axes are for losers, uchigatana masterrace 24/7
>>37092826
I would rather not
>>
>>37092942
Partial to the pipe, but the one you want to make the most is fine by me!
>>
>>37092906
>again
Ehrm what are you trying to tell us qb?
>>37092874
So I heard someone kicked yer sorry ass, right?
>>
>>37092897
G'Night Soros.
>>
>>37092976
>Pokes Chromina
>>
>>37092475
Personally I prefer local swords, it's better to have plenty of cheap and easily acquirable weapons when you want to arm your undead armies.
>>37092773
Dropping your nametag happens, personally I have done the mistake of posting as the wrong character, now that was an embarrassing moment.
>>37092845
Very well, I'll be more discreet in the future.
>>
>>37092991
Should I chop yer hand off?
>>37092951
out of my sight dex based faggot, yer just like fryia.
>>
>>37093007
Thank you Res. Always appreciated. Yer among my favorite guys here, ye know?
>>
>>37092955
I'll do the fancy pipe biomancer first and see where it goes from there

>>37092951
If you're sure. It'd get a lot of apprentices going to the library more often, I'll tell you that much.

>>37092976
Ugh, yes. My pride got the better of me, and Fryia defeated me in a bewitching duel. Now, I'm her apprentice for the foreseeable future.
>>
>>37093008
"Hey, you didn't answer my question."
>>
>>37093023
You're a peach, Vex.(Am I using that right?)
>>
>>37093025
aoh for- yes, yes, I used to be a man. Happy now?
>>
>>37092950
They definitely seem right up your alley.

>>37093040
i think so
>>
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>>37092976
Wait, I never told you guys when I talked about the lolimancer's curse I was put under about a century back? Hmm... I guess my mind was a mess back then, what with the slipping morals and no one letting me get my revenge... Well let's just say you and I have something in common.
>>
>>37093078
"No my other question!"
>>
>>37093023
Oh, it would be better if we had less of them running around.They cause so much headache, not writing in books they took, casting spells near bookshelves disturbing my scriptorium constructs or even worse! Disturbing me during work
>>
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>>37093040
I'm whatever fruit flavor your heart desires.
>>
>>37093008
that's why we can clear boss in two or even fight
>>
>>37093141
Hah, I love it.
>>
>>37093106
Ah, ahem, ah-
Ahahahahahahahahah! Ahw, QB, come here and let me hug you! So this is why you didn't want yer old body back?
>>
>>37093106
I'm sorry to hear that Quin, I've made some great headway on undoing lolimancy, but so far I have only managed to make the original casters of spells explode painfully. I'll inform you first if headway is made.
God I hate lolis
>>
>>37093108
About mort? I am talking to no one.
>>
Where's the drink?! We can hardly greet the new year sober can we?!
>>
>>37093195
"Noooooooo!"
>Sighs
"I ask Do you want to be a man again?"
>>
>>37093208
I've got some Spider Cider. I know we have a little Dragonvenom in the cellar. Would you like me to get some?

Any other requests? We've stocked up recently, I know that much.
>>
>>37093208
>conjure forth kegs of ale
have one mate
>>
Rolled 424 (1d5000)

>>37093208
of course we need something to drink
>casting spell to summon given ammount of bottles
>>
>>37093265
Just the right number of bottles we need!
>>
>>37093208
*reaches into his shadow and tosses you a bottle of strong smelling liquor labeled "Valen Silver"*
If you don't want to be sober anymore, have a drink of this.
>>
>>37093241
If I wanted I could have done it. A remove curse and you are golden . Nah, it does not matter anymore, man or woman, who cares? Until I am myself, my body shape is irrilevant.
>>
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>>37093165
Yes that would be the reason.
>>37093193
Thanks for the concern but I got this new body now and I like it a lot better than the old one. I still want to go up to that lolimancer and laugh in her face for finally escaping the body she chose for me... hmm... I think I might do that after this meeting is over, and then punch her in the face.
>>37093244
Doesn't both Spider Cider and Dragonvenom kill normal humans? Give me some Dragonvenom to go, it's one of the few drinks that affect this body.
>>
>>37092829
That is clearly much worse than necromancy. It is laughable, ha ha ha. I would like to see whether this extends even to the more advanced healing spells. So I can laugh at them. Ha. Thanks for the brochure and tea. When does the basic class start, learned one?

>>37093007
That's what mum said but a katana is more noble and faster and better at making clean wounds that can be stitched up easier than a normal sword wound.

Heh, yeah, I'll try not to do it again, if only to make things easier for everyone.
>>37092872
Thanks, it's good to be here.
>>
>>37093311
"But you're stuck wearing a dress!"
>>
>>37093244
Pardon me for intrusion
Didn't we hardly have any money since recently? How much money did everyone just spend on the last hour?
>>
I try no' t'drink too much, so I'll jus' make some tea.
>>
>>37093244
>>37093251
>>37093265

EXCELLENT!
If I begin to remote my clothes I highly suggest incapacitating me.
>>
>>37093340
Are you old enough to drink little human?>>37093346
Come now magus, it's a party!
>>
>>37093340
Ofcourse, come back at any time, I always make a point to help inquiring students. Even if it is just to see how lame the spell is.
The classes start at one in the afternoon in the classroom beneath my tower.
>>
>>37093337
Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot they said that.

Humans, make sure you read the labels!
Also, roll if you're drinking magical liquor. Maybe something funny happens when you drink it.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>37093388
Oooh, drinks.
*has one*
(what table?)
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>37093388
the magic one is the best you can find
if this dice hits 1 im fuked
>>
>>37093388
Oh, oh, doing that too!
>>
>>37093368
'Alf-orc. I'm a 'alf-orc. I jus' prefer something caffeinated as my drink of choice.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37093453
Meh, I am bad at thongs, I am bad at things...
>>
>>37093425
I suppose we could roll 1d1000 on this one:
http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/vortexshadow/magic/unstablemagic.html
>>
Rolled 950 (1d1000)

>>37093427
hmmm... I do not feel anything, I should take second one *picks up next bottle from the floor*
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>37093475
... fuck. Second barrel, now!
>>
Rolled 689 (1d1000)

>>37093476
Ah, I guess the last one was mundane, bottoms up.
>>
>>37093460
"Whats an Alforc?
>>
>>37093489
Cement Overshoes: Target buried to his waist or to 5’ (whichever is less) in solid concrete

>>37093503
pider: A poisonous spider (DM choice) appears near the caster and attacks.
>>
>>37093503
*spits out spider* Hello little buddy.
>>
>>37093425
>>37093427
I best slather on my mimic so I don't accidentally drink 'im.

>Slowly uncorks the vial, then pours the liquid mimic over the warforged left arm.

What do I do now?
>>
>>37093344
I don't know about you, but I am the Lord of the second wealthiest Province in the kingdom. If anyone here needs some gold to have an enjoyable Years End, consider it paid.
>>37093388
I think I will stick with traditional Alcohol. *takes another bottle of Valen Silver from his shadow and drinks some*
>>
>>37093388
>>
Rolled 194 (1d1000)

>>37093522
Oh, it'll attach on its own, just have a drink and relax.

I think I'll have another.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>37093388
Alright, down it goes, and then I'm off to laugh and punch a lolimancer in the face.
>drinks some Dragonvenom™
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>37093515
ugh, now I should get out of 'ere!
>casting teleportation magic
>>
>>37093513
>sighs and puts on a headband of alluring charisma.
Half-orc without the H. I suppose you haven't quite familiarized yourself with my accent yet.
>>
Rolled 477, 712, 3 = 1192 (3d1000)

anyone for elixir shots?
>>
Rolled 4456 (1d7935)

>>37093388
>>
>>37093556
>>37093476
Hand me that table, let's have some fun with this.
>>
>>37093368
Of course I am old enough to drink. But...I have decided not to drink your souls for now. It would be disrespectful.

Wait, you mean that? Oh. I have drunken that before, yes. It's okay, I guess, but I prefer jasmine tea and lemonade.

>>37093378
Great! I shall be there early. For practice, may I ask where you keep your torture pits?
>>
Rolled 403 (1d1000)

>>37093586
DIIIIIIICEEEEE!
>>
Rolled 442, 269, 569 = 1280 (3d1000)

ugh...at least it got me unstuck, maybe it's time for shots as Vex did
>>
>>37093598
I have one outside of the apprentice chambers for the students that don't take to the studies and spend all class yapping.
The other ones are in the basement.
I'll be sure to be there early.

>>37093553
Well this is depressing, a bunch of skeletons..
>>
Think this thread will stay until midnight in the US, or will we have to do a third one?
>>
Rolled 608 (1d1000)

>>37093534
Well then.

>>37093388
Wait a minute guys i wi-

>>37093515
>>37093521
Eh, enjoy.
I feel like this isn't going to do much, but its worth a try.

>Redwood grabs a bottle of "Beer"
>Casts Bless Item!
>Its surrounded in a faint white light

>Redwood consumes the Blessed Beer
>>
Rolled 18, 15 = 33 (2d20)

>>37093644
ohoh
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLBZLjLBMKs
time to save myself from jellyfish inside
>>
>>37093658
As long as it stays enjoyable, three is good.
>>
>>37093658
A third one? That would be the first time ever in the history of the guild!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

Just checking to see how blurry my beer goggles are.
>>
Rolled 602, 255, 557, 971, 969, 715, 913, 780, 26, 949 = 6737 (10d1000)

Im not jellyfi', tim for 'om mor shotas
>>
>>37093602
>looks up at the potted apple tree in front of her
Huh, can anyone move this to my department's lobby? I got some century old revenge to enact.
>>
going to bed, you lot have happy new year!
>>
>>37093690
Bleh
>stumbles. Needs to sit down for a minute.
>>
Hmm... might as well join in on the fun. Perhaps some caffeine-fueled magic could be of interest.
>chugs a large pot of tea
Now, to sit and wait until it kicks in.
>>
>>37093695
I will tell the next convenient apprentice.
>>37093697
happy new year
>>
>>37093715
Hey! MY TEA!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>37093668
NOPENOPENOPE
>Redwood speeds off
>>
Alright, I'm back in the game. Plenty of muggle shots left. Who's up for a 1d100 shots challenge against me?
>>
And i'm back, seems Maxwell and Lombardi sprung an alarm. They were suitably punished.
>>
>>37093792
Bring it on witch.
>>
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>>37093741
Thank you, just make sure they don't break it when they move it.
>casts flight
QB AWAY!
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>37093792
I'm in, roll your amount and let's do this.
>>
>>37093694
*gets hit by a hammer*
*gets hit by a hands*
*The armour teleports on me*
*disappears*
*appears again*
*the earth starts to rumble*
*Polimorfs in (Someone pick something that rymes with Manus or Deleos)*
*keeps lying on the ground*
>>
Rolled 548 (1d1000)

>>37093744
Oh, shush, there's more in the kitchen. Also-I-should-probably-inform-you-that-I-may-or-may-not-have-used-one-of-the-potion-brewing-pots-to-brew-hibiscus-tea.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>37093831
I'll have a creative punishment for you when I drink you under the table.
going to laugh my ass off if I lose this challenge, too
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>37093842
It will be a cold day in the nine hells the day someone like you outdrink the magnificent Cromia.
>>
>>37093860
I grow dry and brew it myself!
Also that's alright.
>>
>>37093792
Good luck.
>>
>>37093792
Muggle shots?

>>37093831
Do I want to know?

>>37093880
What did I miss?
>>
>>37093842
You're drunk, Marus.

>>37093872
Ah, no! I lost!
>>
>>37093872
I'll take you both on any day! Drink for drink!
(owlbear constitution also helps)
>>
I heard you guys had magical drinks, all the barrels of alcohol in the Elemental Plane of Fire Guild Hall exploded... AGAIN!

Please tell me you guys still have some.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>37093880
*starts knocking back shots*
>>
>>37093913
*424 bottles of some magic liquid are on the ground*
>>
>>37093892
Drinking contest.
>>37093900
Which I have won.
>>
>>37093892
What did you miss?
Magic beer conquest that will probably burn your foot off.
>>
>>37093934
Oh, well ok then. Drinking contests lost their luster after I realized I can't get drunk anymore. Rigged game.
>>
Rolled 620, 565, 627 = 1812 (3d1000)

>>37093933
Bottoms up!
>>
>>37093934
Curse you, eldritch knight
>>
>>37093860
>Pivot The caster pivots 360 degrees, creating a vortex. All creatures (except the caster) in the caster's original line of sight are drawn in, emerging on the ethereal plane.
Spinnin' round me, things are finally happening! Step up to me, this dance fight will be legendary!
>>
>>37093924
*coughs and drops a shot glass* Bah what the hell kind of alcohol did you give me? This tastes aweful!
>>
>>37093978
That's dishsoap.
Here, have this drink.
>>
>>37093960
Ya cannot? I pity you... uhm, my head feels funny, yet it is just the sixth barrel. Ah.
>>37093968
One day you are gonnalearn not to pick fights with people who are better then you are at the thing you are challenging them to.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>37094001
Ugh no wonder. Someone yell at the Alcomancy apprentice who left this in the liquor shelf.
>>
*Still none picked in what I have polimorphed*
*Still burns*
*Still lies on the ground*
>>
>>37093968
Cromina is tough I'm surprised you did a well as you did. Damn lucky no con modifiers.


>>37094040
Nope, part of the whole world eater thing. At best I can get tipsy for a few seconds.
>>
>>37093965
>Gort is stunned
>Gort's staff is cursed
>Gort is now ON FIRE
How did my robe even ignite, it's made of non-flammable materials to prevent this from happening, HOW!?

You guys wouldn't happen to have a hydromancer around today?
>>
>>37094042
*blegh* ALL I CAN TASTE IS SOAP DAMMIT!
>>
>>37094040
Nevah! Imma keep challenging everone till I prove I'm the best at life.

I can beat you at anything, cromia!
>>
Rolled 394 (1d1000)

>>37094001
yoooooo can i have someof that, thanks man
>>
>>37094058
>>37094069
<Drench>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37094093
>Bird: You turn yourself into a Sulfur-Crested Cockatoo for 1d4 days, but retain your self-control.
holy crap, i'm a bird!
>>
>>37094085
>downs her tenth barrel
Even swordplay? *hic*
>>
Rolled 306, 919 = 1225 (2d1000)

>>37094100
Thank you Soros.

Now, time to drink some more!
>>
>>37094073
*casts a fire breath spell into the air to burn the taste out of his mouth*
>>
>>37094109
Dude are you high, give me som of *hic* that
>>
>>37094114
Vex has never held a sword in her life
Fuck yeah! Won't be a problem for the magnificent Vex.
>>
>>37094126
I CAN STILL TASTE IT DAMMIT!
>>
>>37094145
*discreetly casts regeneration spell on Vex.*

Now where did we put the barrel of dragonfire whiskey?
>>
>>37094122
*face palm*

>>37094114
>>37094145
*grabs popcorn*

>>37094155
<neutralize base>
>>
>>37094174
Thank you Marus. You're so fluffy and wonderful.
>>
>>37093656
I am glad there are torture pits here, it will remind me of home and the adventurers we would keep having to throw in our dungeons, ha ha. Ha. I will practice healing them for tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and mum wanted me to ask you if she would be able to visit me every day? She wants to teleport inside the guild, but she doesn't know if she'd be allowed to.


Anyway, where am I to be stationed? I am tired. And I need to charge my scrying-mirror so I can play more tussle of tribes in the morning.
>>
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*the banshee wails*
*still burns*
*still not polimorphed*
>>
>>37094114
>>37094145
Dont accidentally kill her Cromina.

>>37094178
Gah! Finally! Thank you Soros!
*drinks from his bottle of Valen Silver*
Thats better... *mutters about alcomancy apprentices*
>>
>>37094145
Ah, I like a woman with shome shpirit! More satisfaction when you make her your pershonal bitch. Here, have my, my, my, hic! My shword and prove yourshelf!
>cromia pulls an halberd out of nowhere and point it into the general direction of. She is utterly drunk
>>
>>37094206
Do you want your mother to visit? If you do, she can visit in the evenings for dinner.
If no, absolutely not and I will render her down to nutrient slurry if she impugns on my territory.
You can have room #5 in the apprentice quarters in my tower.
>>
>>37094240
Alright, if I outsword you, then I'm gonna strip you of your knightishness and downgrade you to apprentice in my classes!
How do you want to roll this? Both are plastered, but Vex is very inexperienced with melee weapons
>>
>>37094206
Teleports are fine with us. Your bunk will be in the students wing, drop this into your shadow when you feel like going to bed and it will guide you there. *hands you a piece of paper covered in complex runes*
>>
Rolled 8, 10 = 18 (2d10)

>>37094122
>a gate is opens to a random plane 50% of a extra-planar creature to appear, someone pick a plane
>Gort is shot with 1d10 darts second dice if for the extra planar creature, 6+ means a visitor
>>
>>37094222
*picks up* I already put out the fires. the last one someone else will have to help you with.

>>37094240
>>37094286
<Time stop> *replaces all the metal weapons with very realistic foam replicas.

>>37094305
Baator
>>
>>37094290
>>37094206
>>37094255
Or at least it would be in the student wing until you get a sponsoring wizard. The shadow can guide you there to.
>>
>>37094324
Smart move. I kek'd.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37094286
Your blood will, hic, will stain my halberd!
cromia is drunk and depressed about what happened two threads ago, let us say it is an even fight.
>>
>>37094337
>>37094343
<Time restart> *sits down and starting watching with popcorn in hand*
>>
>>37094343
what happened two threads ago? did i miss something important?
>>
>>37094370
She hit on me after revealing she was a warlock, I'm in a committed relationship and turns her down, she was so clingy I nearly got strangled. Yes she was drunk.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>37094343
Let's do best two out three then, since both are clumsy right now. I'd feel wrong if Vex beat you in one go despite having no prior experience

My blood is *hic* bad weapon paint, and you should buy your wares from a professional smithy.
>>
>>37094141
>Swoops down with the cup of dish soap in his talons
Holy shit. I'm a falcon.
>>
*And all day and all night and everything he sees is
Just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue Corvette and everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
'Cause he aint got nobody to listen: ...

I'm blue (da ba dee...)
I'm blue (da ba dee...)*
>>
>>37094397
More like a parakeet. *pulls out a mirror*
>>
>>37094324
>Baator
So we have a demon in the guild hall then?

>a devil from Baator steps out of the portal
Hey, you guys having a party over here or something?
>>
>>37094419
Hello there, drink?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37094397
Hahaha

>>37094395
>>37094343
>Cromina trips up and falls on her rump. Vex "wins" the first "round"

See, I'm superior even at swordliness!
>next "round"
>>
>>37094395
>nearly loses her weapon
do no, not, not insult my weapon crafter, hic. That is myself. I will chop yer head off!
>>
>>37094393
Oh i was there then.

>>37094397
In the sense that both are birds, you are close.
In any other sense, nowhere near one.

>>37094419
It wouldn't be the first time.
Indeed we are, care for a drink?
>>
>>37094419
Something like that. Want to watch two drunk chicks sword fight with foam weapons? *passes popcorn*

>>37094409
I've been replying.

>>37094442
>>37094443
*popcorn intensifies*
>>
>>37094255
Oh no, I don't object to mum visiting at all...I just wish she wouldn't teleport behind me to make sure my cape is warm enough when I'm with my friends. Visiting during dinner will be cool.

>>37094290
Thanks. I will go to bed, now. See you all in the morning! And I will tell my mother she can visit. Good night!

Seriously, good night. I'm going to play some CK2 and then turn in for tonight. It's been fun...
>>
>>37094442
Too drunk to roll well
>>
>>37094455
Goodnight, happy new year, enjoy your game, and welcome to the Mages' Guild
>>
>>37094455
NIGHT!
>>
>>37094455
Good night, Happy Years End!
>>
>>37094437
>>37094453
Sure thing mortals, what's the strongest you got?
>>37094454
Drinks and a show, you guys know how to throw a party. Any chance one of them will kill the other?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37094468
>>
>>37094455
Night, man.
>>
>>37094442
>>37094487
>2
>2
Uh...
>>
>>37094486
Nope, but they might have a wardrobe malfunction.

>>37094442
>>37094487
Hah a tie! Roll again you two!
>>
>>37094454
just singing internally
>>
>>37094442
>>37094487
MY SIDES

>>37094486
*hands barrel of dragonfire whiskey*
Here you go, drink on 3?
1.
2.
*starts drinking*
>>
>>37094486
Probably some sort of enchanted dish soap. *scoffs*
If you care for quality, i can spare a bottle of my Village's brew.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>37094496
>both of them stumble and fall simultaneously
ohw, ohw, ohw, I am soooo gonna hic, gonna wreck you...
>>
>>37094504
Well that's a shame, a fight is always better when the blood flows.
>>37094507
>chugs the entire barrel in one go
>>37094522
Soap? That's an odd drink, I'll try your village's brew.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>37094504
Alrighty then. Pray you win, knight, or I'm makin you a permnent fixture in my classes.
>>37094530
If I tie with you again, I'm making out with you
>>
>>37094538
Pfwahahaha, you drank the wyvern mucus!
>>
>>37094545
Vex you critfailed......... make something up.

>>37094538
Eh mortal plane, sides we might see something good.
>>
>>37094538
Here you go. *tosses him a bottle of Valen Silver*
>>
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>>37094453
Are you trying to give birds a worse name than they already have? Has Pigeon Poopenheimer not done enough?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37094545
>cromia sweep her halberd and trips vex
oh, oh, hic, wait, this has not even, not even, hic, begun! Ready to be bisected?
my sides. Deal.
>>
>>37094549
Well I believe the joke is on you, it was quite enjoyable.
>>37094572
One can hope.
>>37094584
Alright, let's hope it's good.
>empties the bottle in one go
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>37094572
>Vex is struck hard in her tushy by the staff of Crimina's foam halberd. Sending her into the table, shaking over a barrel of mead.
>Vex is drenched in booze. Should have worn something under her blouse.
Blech!

That's it! Imma spank you so hard after this!
>>
>>37094635
Well, I needed to get rid of it, so really we both win. Let me know if you want more.

>>37094639
Oh, wow. Party and a show.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

I should probly get out of comatose to see this, rolling for Jesus(if dice hits 20, jesus gets me out of the slumber)
>>
>>37094639
>cromia chages and slips on the beer that is flowing out he barrels vex broke, hitting her head on the ground and dalling unconscious.
>>
>>37094639
>>37094603
Guess her getting soaked was the edge she needed to distract Cromina and win. Nice show don't you think?>>37094635


>>37094671
<wake>
>>
>>37094603
>>37094639
Yes! I out-sworded you! Your body belongs to me now!
>>
>>37094702
Wait, that's how it works?
>>
>>37094702
>stil unconscious
uhhhh... mrhgh...
>>
Anything happened, while I was...were was I... Why I am wearing this nice armour...NICE
>>
>>37094702
*still eating popcorn*
>>37094635
Wait for it!
>>37094724
<Waken>
>>
>>37094719
Yeah, I think you just the pointy end into the other guy. I didn't think swords were so foamy, though.

Whatever. Cromina's mine now.
>>
>>37094745
Interesting... Think it works with claws too?
>>
>>37094663
Sure, that stuff stung pretty nicely, hand me another barrel if you got one.
>>37094690
I would have preferred some blood but I guess it's pretty good for a nonleathal duel.
>>37094740
>pays close attention to the fight
>>
>>37094755
No... you take weapon in claws and then swing it!
>>
>>37094755
If you want to duel, I can oblige Marus. I doubt Vex or Cromina is in any shape to fight you right now.

>>37094745
So Vex what are you going to do with your prize?
>>
>>37094724
Cromina, wake up! I still have to put you through your punishment game!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37094769
oh, how abot I will summon you gr8est drink I could aver find!
>>
>>37094809
Do you even know how to use a sword Soros?
>>
>>37094740
Uh-I screwed up fer good didn't I-
>>37094702
WHAT? No way!
>>
>>37094823
*summons rabbit *, that's nice one.
>>37094834
HOW WANTS TO FIGHT?! *Stands up with the bane posture*
>>
>>37094844
That's right, Cromina. Now, get out of that armor. Henceforth, you'll be Eldritch Squire Cromina, my teacher's pet.
>>
>>37094809
I'm not sure I can even hold a sword to be honest Soros.
I have this old warhammer though.
>>
>>37094834
While I am fairly lacking in the strength department without the aid of spells, I can fence. In addition I have my spheres of death. Kinetically reinforced bouncy balls

>>37094844
Yes you did.

>>37094873
Can't alst more than a week as per guild by law 17.

>>37094882
Fair enough.
>>
>>37094892
>>37094882
I will fight both of you!
>>
Looks like we are one thread away from falling off page 10, I'm assuming that means we are done for tonight. Or are people having to much fun to stop and it's time for overtime part 2?
>>
>>37094892
>Can't alst more than a week as per guild by law 17.

Wha?
>>
Sorry I was in the bathro-
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
>Putting his right arm behind his back
Shield your eyes baby mimic!
>>
>>37094769
and you too satan
>>
>>37094915
I'll be up until American midnight, so I was kind of hoping for a part 3 if anyone else is willing or able
>>
>>37094863
Hell, if everyone else is fighting, i guess I will give it a go.
*pulls a sword out of his shadow*

>>37094915
lets keep it going so us Americans can celebrate new years with the guild
>>
>>37094910
Hmm, sounds fun.

>>37094941
I'm having fun but I think you need more than 2 people
>>
>>37094873
Uh, slip put pf me armor, no way, lass, no way, not going to, to, to be, hic yer squire...
>>37094892
Soooros... I fucked up roooyally... I am no good at magic, no good at fighting, and no good as a person... hic... I want to die...
>>
Rolled 5, 12 = 17 (2d20)

>>37094943
m8
*summons sword and strikes James*
>>
>>37094963
Well, you're really good at drinking. That may have somethin to do with it.
>>
Rolled 14, 9 = 23 (2d20)

>>37094978
>>
>>37094991
Sh,sh,sh,shut the hell up, I am not gonna c-cry... sniff. Hic.
>>
>>37094910
Your funeral kid.

>>37094915
I won't make a new thread but I'm still here if anyone ants to continue.

>>37094917
Any longer lasting punishments would interfere with her ability to teach her department.

>>37094963
You got tripped cheer up.
>>
Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d20)

>>37094978
>>37094999
*parrys, but misses his attempt to counter*
>>
>>37094963
Hahaha! hic– you can't excape my clutches!
>glomps you and starts unlatching your armor.

You can get your groove back by being my *hic* squire pet!
>>
>>37094941
>>37094943
>>37094955
I'm in as well then, these threads usually last until a bit later anyway.
>>
>>37095024
wow the dice are not my friends today
>>
>>37095015
There there Chromie, you're really good at fighting, and you know the most practical spells I've ever seen.
>>
Rolled 5, 5 = 10 (2d20)

>>37095024
*strikes but James parry*, oh , not this time!
>>
>>37095022
Just for a little bit, then. And only when she's not busy.
>>
>>37095028
Nay, let, let, lemme goooo!
>>37095022
And what, what should I care, hic! I am a complete and, and utter, sniff, failure, waaaaahhhh!
>>
Rolled 16, 9, 11 = 36 (3d20)

>>37095024
>>37095051
>That fight is tight, none can land a good hit.
I just need another sword!
*Summons second sword and start to hit with both*
>>
>>37095059
*thumbs up* Carry on.

>>37095068
I really hate using enchantment but I dare say you could use a pick me up. Besides I suck at this sort of thing. <Ecstasy>
>>
The fight seems to be over, thanks for the booze and show, I'll be heading back to Baator now.
>steps over Gort and heads through the portal
>>
>>37095091
Wait Satan! I will wrek you, you just wait, till i fin
>>
Alright, I'm gonna make the next thread

BRB
>>
Rolled 14, 10, 17 = 41 (3d20)

>>37095051
*Goes to strike, but the swords cross and scrape together*
>>37095087
If you insist. *another sword shoots out of the shadow into Jame's left hand*
>>
>>37095090
>eyes widen
>arms start trembling
...
>>
>>37095132
Uhh Soros, what's that spell usually for?
>>
File: qb16.jpg (77 KB, 450x410)
77 KB
77 KB JPG
Ah, revenge is a wonderful thing. I have returned!
>>37095068
This again? I thought we already reassured you that you weren't a failure.
>sighs and walks up to Cromina
Would you feel better if I let you hug me?



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