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>>36806019
What was once a pristine igloo is now burnt, charred, cratered, and absolutely covered with blood or black oil. The far wall is pockmarked, there’s some sort of death sludge melting away the ceiling, and you’re pretty sure that huge red smear across the floor is your blood, since it ends underneath you.

Honestly, you aren’t feeling much better than your fortress. Neither are your friends, from the look of things; Rokko, the Blue Bomber, is in two extremely messy pieces, although that doesn’t seem to worry her very much; she’s apparently some sort of robot, so it’s only ~temporarily~ fatal. Still not fun to look at, though; what with all the exposed wiring and leaking robot fluids, it’s all pretty fucking creepy given how Rokko looks like a living being.

Moru, monster hunter catgirl thing with a giant explosive gunlance, is curled up in the corner; she’s the least injured out of your little group, but the short girl looks like she’s seen some shit. No small wonder, since she was almost directly responsible for your (and Rokko’s) injuries, thanks to your opponent’s mind control fuckery. And speaking of which…

Myrra, erstwhile Master of Magic, is doing her best broken doll impression, since you’d masterfully pinned her down to take the brunt of the attack that appears to have shattered your spine (or your legs, or both). And by “masterfully pinned her down,” you mean “she grappled you and didn’t let go in time,” but you’re not telling that to anyone who asks. It fills you with a warm and fuzzy feeling to watch the unconscious bitch being dragged by the hair like a sack of potatoes, and the small, hunchbacked thing doing the dragging unceremoniously shoves Myrra into a pit-

(Cont.)

>>36806032
… wait. You didn’t dig a pit in your snow fort.

“Urist, Urist, Urist.”

You stiffen in shock as the hunchbacked /thing/ speaks up- except it’s clearly the voice of your batshit insane giant fly nemesis. It studies you with large opaque eyes before grinning widely, stretching the wrinkled skin around its mouth. The overall effect is pretty fucking creepy.

“We’ll have to continue this little row some other time; Myrra and I are being called back. So you’re, ah… getting a stay of execution, as it were.”

[ ] [NOPE] Try to stop the little creepy thing. It speaks with your fly nemesis’s voice! You’re not letting the damn thing get away!
[ ] [WHO] Okay, no, seriously, who the fuck IS this thing? Who the fuck is your giant fly nemesis? What the fuck is going on?
[ ] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36806059
>[ ] [WHO] Okay, no, seriously, who the fuck IS this thing? Who the fuck is your giant fly nemesis? What the fuck is going on?

>>36806059
>[x] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.

Always pick the worst option and make Blorp keep us alive.

>>36806059
>[x] [WHO] Okay, no, seriously, who the fuck IS this thing? Who the fuck is your giant fly nemesis? What the fuck is going on?
Scary!

>>36806059
>[ ] [WHO] Okay, no, seriously, who the fuck IS this thing? Who the fuck is your giant fly nemesis? What the fuck is going on?
Fuck you bug man, why are you still alive.

>>36806059
>Seriously dog the bug guy wiped our memory, I don't know who the fuck any of you are.

>>36806059
>[ ] [NOPE] Try to stop the little creepy thing. It speaks with your fly nemesis’s voice! You’re not letting the damn thing get away!
NOPE is always the right choice around bugs.
Around bugs, uh...avoid...hugs? Let's go with that.

>>36806087
Please anon, have some mercy for poor Blorp.

>>36806059
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>[SHOOT] Take a shot at our nemesis with our improbably still loaded crossbow.

>>36806059
>[x] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.

>>36806059
>[ ] [WHO] Okay, no, seriously, who the fuck IS this thing? Who the fuck is your giant fly nemesis? What the fuck is going on?

>>36806059
>[x] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.

"ahahaha fuck you"

>>36806059
> [ ] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.
We'll take our vengeance where we can get it.

>>36806059
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>[SHOOT] Take a shot at our nemesis with our improbably still loaded crossbow.

>>36806059
>[x] [SHOVE] Ahahaha okay, yeah, good riddance- push the little fucker into the pit. With any luck, this thing will fall onto Myrra and break more of her bones.

>>36806059
Drink
Shove
Fuck it

>>36806059
>[X] [DWARVEN ATOM-SMASHER] Fuck the pit, we have a perfectly serviceable drawbridge to eradicate him from existence with.

>>36806495
I don't think we're lucky enough for them to be under our drawbridge.

>>36806680
I doubt we're near the lever either

>>36806495
>[X] [Dwarven Atom-Smasher]
If it doesn't work go with
>[Who]

>>36806059
>[TAKE THE SHOT] WIth the crossbow
then
>[TAKE A SHOT] of beer

>>36806059
QM may be dead.

Hey, I bet it'd be pretty safe to make planepacked if we used a cave in and careful architecture to fabricate a pocket dimension to hide it in.

Now all we need is to train a goblin to read things off for us, and we're good!

So, Urist's legs are paralyzed, Rokko got halved and Moru is traumatised.

We're going to have a lot of work to do.

>>36807217
All in all, not a bad day in the fort.

>>36807217
speaking of which, where's that damned felyne assistant?

Would have been good for tanking the mind control, or suicide bombing in general.

I wonder if one day we will take up baking and make some nice healthy dwarven bread

>>36806059
>[X] [WHO]
>[X] [SHOVE]

Even through your haze of pain and suffering (that would be the adrenaline wearing off, probably), you just know you're not going to get a straight answer out of this asshole. Even if it's in a different body or some shit like that, this is still your giant fly nemesis, for fuck's sake- from the very first moment, it spoke in nothing but vague riddles, it made as little sense as possible (to the point of contradiction), and it was smug as hell.

But you go ahead and ask anyway, even though your voice is nothing more than a hoarse rasp. Just as you knew it would, the hunchbacked little thing gives you the smuggest grin it can.

"Oh no, Urist. I'm not making it easy for you," it croons. "If you wish to learn who I am, I'm going to make you /work/ for it. Have you forgotten what I taught you already? If you want to learn who I am, you'll have to fight me for it! Only blood and violence will get you what you want, Urist!"

You resist the urge to throttle the annoying little imp with your bare hands- it's not that hard, since you're broken in more places than you can count right now- and point out that yes, you already DID beat the shit out of the damn thing, so-

"Ah ah ah, that doesn't count." Armok preserve you, it's waggling a finger at you. "A giant fly isn't even my final form! Why, if you want to learn my name, you'll have to defeat ALL of my incarnations! Only then will you-"

Great! Wonderful. Splendid. You totally agree.

"I knew you would! I only taught you everything I-"

(Cont.)

>>36807296
You hurl your flask at the little monster's head, and the metal container connects with a deliciously solid THONK. It wails in mixed pain and surprise before tottering right over the edge of its own pit- you will treasure this moment for as long as you live, lying back in a fort of your own creation and listening to the despairing screams of your most irritating enemy as it plummets to its demise.

... well, its hopeful demise, anyway. You're really not optimistic. But you still fancy that you hear Myrra going "oof" at the end of it, and that warms you right up to the black shriveled organ that most people call your heart.

Still, you're surprised that ANYONE could tunnel up under your own fort. Maybe it's 'cause the floor is nothing but natural dirt. You'll have to keep that in mind for the next time, you'll need to pave it all over with constructed floors-

A wail interrupts your thoughts, and you're abruptly taken by the shoulders and shaken in a very painful manner as a distraught catgirl fills most of your jittering vision.

"U-Urist! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Moru's crying is anything but pretty, and her face is a mess of tears and snot right now. "You're not going to die, are you? J-Just hang in there, it'll be fine, I'll- I'll get you and Rokko back into town as soon as possible-"

[ ] [OH GOD STOP] No, seriously, it's fine, she can put you down, you just need a few moments, STOP SHAKING ME
[ ] [ROKKO] See to Rokko. She's... you know, sort of bisected right now. That's more problematic, ain't it?
[ ] [ESTELLE] FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, CALL ESTELLE FOR HER HEALING MAGICS
[ ] [MORU?] Moru's... okay now, right? No more mind control magic? She's not going to wig out again and start murdering you, right?
[ ] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36807327
[X] [ESTELLE] FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, CALL ESTELLE FOR HER HEALING MAGICS
[X] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.

>>36807327
>[ ] [ESTELLE] FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, CALL ESTELLE FOR HER HEALING MAGICS
>>36807327
>[ ] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.
....you know, if Moru could just grab that flask we threw

>>36807327
>[ ] [ROKKO] See to Rokko. She's... you know, sort of bisected right now. That's more problematic, ain't it?

>>36807327
>write in
>change Moru to party leader
>get her to shove green gel into our mouth until we and rokko are healed

>>36807327

[X] [ROKKO] See to Rokko. She's... you know, sort of bisected right now. That's more problematic, ain't it?
[X] [ESTELLE] FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, CALL ESTELLE FOR HER HEALING MAGICS
[X] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.

In this Order.

>>36807327
>[ ] [ROKKO] See to Rokko. She's... you know, sort of bisected right now. That's more problematic, ain't it?
>[ ] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.

>>36807327
[ ] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.
[ ] [OH GOD STOP] No, seriously, it's fine, she can put you down, you just need a few moments, STOP SHAKING ME

>>36807327
>[ ] [OH GOD STOP]
>[ ] [DRINK]

Wonder how thing are going to look like for Estelle, to look for her little sis and suddenly end up finding her on a battlefield with her party in a near-TPK.

>>36807480
We didn't even get any fucking exp for it!

>>36807327
>[x] [ESTELLE]
>[x] [DRINK]

>>36807369
Supporting this
Well no matter what we do we need a drink

>>36807495
I don't know how xp works in DF, but:

>Crossbow: 0xp
>Punching: 10xp
>Grappling: 3xp
>Dodging: 15xp
>Fast Build: 50xp

>>36807327
> [DRINK]
> [CALM DOWN AND GET A HEALER!]
> [...AND A MECHANIC]

>>36807327
>[ ] [OH GOD STOP] No, seriously, it's fine, she can put you down, you just need a few moments, STOP SHAKING ME
>[ ] [ESTELLE] FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, CALL ESTELLE FOR HER HEALING MAGICS
>[ ] [DRINK] Drink alcohol. It will surely help the dull throbbing pain in your everything.

>>36807327
>>36807598
Seconding

>>36807598
>>36807327
This.

>>36807327
>>36807598
Fourthing

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>>36807327
>[X] [OH GOD STOP]
>[X] [ESTELLE]
>[X] [DRINK]

Well, for starters, she can-

"I'll... I'll never fire my gunlance when you're in the way again!"

No, really, it's-

"I won't even say that you smell horrible anymore!"

Moru, seriously-

"I'll even stop judging you for drinking so much! So please don't bleed out or hate me or mmph-"

You mash the palm of your hand against her face and forcibly lever her /away/ from you. Look, you appreciate her heartfelt useless flailing, really you do, and you will hold her to each and every one of those things she just said, but she needed to stop shaking you about two minutes ago! She's going to shake all the damn blood out of your... horrible cauterized burnt point-blank explosion wound that opened up your iron armor like someone took a can opener to it.

... on hindsight, you wish you hadn't gotten a good look at your own wound, because it forcibly reminds your brain that you're supposed to be in crippling pain by now.

"Okay! Sorry, I- I'm sorry!" Moru ducks back, wringing her hands as she looks down at you. "I don't have any healing items- they were all on my Felyne, and he burrowed away when I got hit by that spell-"

You wince and resist the urge to curl up into a little catatonic ball, at least for a little while longer. Call Estelle. She's got that absolutely ridiculous healing magic of hers, that ought to put you back to rights.

Maybe it's your bloodied condition, or maybe it's something in your tone, but Moru's halfway to pulling out her phone before she hesitates. "I don't have her number-"

You cut her off by winging your phone at her head. Or- well, you TRY, at least, but you only have enough strength to send it skittering toward her feet. Estelle's number is in your call history.

"Right!"

(Cont.)

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>>36808299
You only let yourself relax when Moru clearly gets through to Estelle and gabbles away with a speed born from desperation, giving her directions and status updates and-

You try not to feel a little nettled that Estelle picked up HER call immediately, but apparently ignored your panicked SOS. It's all too easy to put it from your mind once you start trying to get some alcohol in you- because you THREW your flask at your nemesis, and it's currently a few feet away from your current position.

With a hiss, you allow yourself to fall over onto your side and start crawling toward your flask, pushing through the pain even as a giant 'X' flashes across your vision and forces you to stop for fear of collapsing completely. You've only been at it for a few seconds before someone pushes the flask toward your fingers, and for a blissful moment, your entire world narrows right down to the booze pouring down your throat and warming you up, radiating from the core of your being to your extremities.

Only then do you look up and see Rokko silently staring at you with those empty, disinterested eyes of hers. Rokko's upper half, to be precise- seems that she dragged herself over from halfway across the room, trailing wires and oil and even the occasional screw.

[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
[ ] [CONVO] Strike up some light conversation. What better place is there? Not like you've got anything better to do, anyway.
[ ] [INFO] Ask Rokko how this entire fucking situation came to be. Why was Myrra attacking her? Did she say anything beforehand?
[ ] [PRY] ... so why's Rokko in such bad shape, anyhow? Even before the battle, she wasn't looking so good.
[ ] [SILENCE] Silence is underrated. You don't want to push Rokko, she looks tired enough as it is- and you also want to save YOUR strength.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!

[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
[ ] [PRY] ... so why's Rokko in such bad shape, anyhow? Even before the battle, she wasn't looking so good.

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[ ] [SILENCE] Silence is underrated. You don't want to push Rokko, she looks tired enough as it is- and you also want to save YOUR strength.

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[ ] [CONVO] Strike up some light conversation. What better place is there? Not like you've got anything better to do, anyway.
So I guess she won't die from being bisected, that's pretty cool.

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK]
>[ ] [SILENCE]

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[ ] [PRY] ... so why's Rokko in such bad shape, anyhow? Even before the battle, she wasn't looking so good.

>>36808332
So, Rokko... how's life these days?

>>36808332
>[x] [INFO]
>[x] [PRY]

>>36808332
>[x] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[x] [PRY] ... so why's Rokko in such bad shape, anyhow? Even before the battle, she wasn't looking so good.

>>36808332
>[X] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[X] [CONVO] Strike up some light conversation. What better place is there? Not like you've got anything better to do, anyway.

>>36808332
[X] [... OK]
[X] [SILENCE]

Has anyone been keeping a tally of how many times Rokko saved Urist's ass?

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
then
>[SILENCE]

>>36808332
[x] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
[x] [SILENCE] Silence is underrated. You don't want to push Rokko, she looks tired enough as it is- and you also want to save YOUR strength.
Thank her silently, though. Do some nods and offer the flask her way and all. There's a lot you can do with simple gestures.

>>36808332
>[...OK] but don't offer her alcohol because seriously her stomach may have been in the lower half.
>[INFO]
>[WRITE-IN] KISS

>>36808559
> don't offer her alcohol
GOOD IDEA

> KISS
BAD IDEA

>>36808332
>[ ] [... OK] Thank her for her help. And, uh... offer her a drink from your flask. Do robots even imbibe alcohol? Inquiring minds need to know!
>[ ] [CONVO] Strike up some light conversation. What better place is there? Not like you've got anything better to do, anyway.

>>36808332
>[ ] [...OK] Thank her for her help. Offer drink...
>[ ] [YOU...I LIKE YOU...BUT IN A NOT MOE, PURELY PLATONIC FASHION!] That silent stare that says "I don't know you yet, but I know you just got my back bro. You're good people."

>>36808626
UristxRokko OTP

>>36808771
Even if so, this is hardly good timing

>>36808808
>>36808771
They do seem like they have a compatible personality

>>36808823
Depressed and self-loathing?

>>36808771
I suppose you're also hoping for EstellexAin hatesex.

>>36808834
Someone without a home who was also abandoned by his former peers

>>36808834
Absolutely. They can sit around trying to convince each other who's shittery.

>>36808847
Hoping? Nah. That implies I'm not planning on it.

Besides. Dwarf Fortress Adoption Agency: Now with Free Kittens! so we can spread the damn things over the planet

>>36808898
You delightful monster.

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>>36808332
>[X] [... OK!]
>[X] [(relative) SILENCE]

To be honest, it kinda hurts to speak. Not in the physical pain sort of sense (if it DOES, you seriously won't be able to tell it apart from all the other pain in your body right now), but in the sense that you won't be able to sound gruff and intimidating.

It's sort of a strange thing to worry about when an entire quarter of your body is probably charbroiled, but there you have it- you'd rather your voice not sound all squeaky and girly and wavering from the pain. You're hardly the picture of dwarven /dwarfishness/ that you would like to be, so you stubbornly cling onto anything that makes you seem less like the cutesy bullshit that you are.

So you simply nod your thanks to Rokko. You make sure to keep it as un-moe as possible- it's a manly nod, the type of nod that a grizzled swordsdwarf might give to a crossbowdwarf who just saved his ass from afar. The type with slightly pursed lips and a moderate furrowing of the brow, filled to the brim with selfless yet unemotional gratitude; one of the most crucial pillars that support all such platonic manly friendships.

Rokko hesitates for a moment, and you think you catch a flicker of surprise in those glassy artificial eyes (though it could be nothing but an errant spark). And then she nods back, the movement jerky due to malfunctioning technobabbly neck parts.

You offer her your flask before you even realize what you're doing- and to be fair, she's saved your sorry ass more times than you can count today, so you don't pull back your arm. Rokko tilts her head, her matted ponytail pooling on the ground besides her, before taking the flask in a hand and inspecting it.

(Cont.)

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>>36809259
... she stares back at you, honestly at a loss for what to do. You groan softly before pantomiming bringing the thing to your lips for a swig- and then you groan in despair as Rokko takes a swig and actually /chokes/, sputtering as booze dribbles down her chin. The robot girl quickly hands it back to you, her eyes notably wide with surprise-

And you're seriously debating crawling over there and licking Rokko's goddamn face (because FUCK your dignity, nothing makes your skin crawl more than wasted boozahol), but that's when Moru ends her call.

"Estelle's already on her way, but she'll get here faster now that she knooAAAAAH SENPAI WHY DID YOU CRAWL OVER THERE!?" Moru actually /squalls/, kneeling besides Rokko in a flash. She carefully props the robot('s upper half) back up against the wall before pulling her /lower/ half over, trying to arrange it so Rokko looks like she’s sitting down instead of being in two places at once. “Please don’t move around! Your internal, uh, wires and parts are pretty fragile, right? I mean, uh, n-not that that’s going to be a problem or anything! I bet you’ll be back to fighting form in no time, senpai! You’ve been through so much more than this, I just know it, and-”

(Cont.)

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>>36809293
You watch in mild fascination as Moru absolutely drops her spaghetti all over the place, although you’re not really sure what pies have to do with anything, much less Rokko’s current situation. And- it’s hard to tell, since it’s hard to read her expression (let alone her body language), but you think the Blue Bomber actually looks a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. You know YOU felt uncomfortable being fussed over by a walking FPS destroyer-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYZomwkpPjE

And then an explosion from outside derails your minecart of thought, bright enough that the light filtering in from the fortifications nearly blind you, and you hear draconian warriors howling in pain and terror. More to the point, you hear Estelle yelling, almost screaming, your names as she works through the enemies surrounding your snow fort.

[ ] [CALL BACK] Let Estelle know you’re in here and that you’re okay! … although she might not hear you.
[ ] [OPEN GATE] Open up the drawbridge, otherwise she can’t get in (and no, she’s not close enough to get smashed).
[ ] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!
[ ] [KEEP WATCHING] Moru and Rokko’s little conversation is like watching a train wreck in progress.
[ ] [WAIT] for Estelle to finish up outside. Better safe than sorry, especially in your current state.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

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>>36809293
Rokko is to cute for me to handle.

>>36809321
>[X] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!

>>36809321
>[ ] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!
Ain't no party like a dwarf fortress party

>>36809321
>[x] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!

ranged weapons op

>>36809321
>[ ] [CALL BACK] Let Estelle know you’re in here and that you’re okay! … although she might not hear you.
Estelle did get our text

>>36809321
[x] [CALL BACK] Let Estelle know you’re in here and that you’re okay! … although she might not hear you.
[x] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!
A real dwarf would get right into the action! While letting her know you're alive, and all.

Also,
>And you're seriously debating crawling over there and licking Rokko's goddamn face
RokkoXUrist confirmed

>>36809321
>[ ] [CROSSBOW]
>[ ] [CALL BACK]

>>36809321
>[X] [SEND MORU OUTSIDE] And save Rokko from the spaghetti. Seriously, she both deserves and needs our help.

>>36809321
>CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!

>>36809369
Which she kinda ignored

>>36809402
Moru said she was already on her way here when she called, not that a text back wouldn't have been appreciated

>>36809321
>[X] [CROSSBOW] Crawl over to a Fortification and fire out into the draconians with your crossbow. You can hit them, but they can’t hit you!
Improve your marksdwarfship! How are you supposed to get to Legendary if you let someone else brutally murder your foes?

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Alright, [X] [CROSSBOW] basically takes the cake, so-

>Urist Twelfthbay attempts to do something halfway helpful!
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 15
No bonus

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>36809484

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36809484

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>36809484

>>36809321
....so, would the kickback on Moru's gunlance kill us right now? Because if not lets substitute that for a crossbow.

If it will kill us, we drop the drawbridge and catgirl explosive rounds AWAY FROM Estelle.

>>36809502
Yay, the pain helps

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>>36809502

>>36809502
Looks like our marksdwarf skills get one step closer to legendary.

>>36809502
Urist shoots her crossbow at Draconian Halberdier!
The bolt strikes the head, piercing the brain!

>>36809502
FEELS LIKE MY VEINS ARE FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT GASOLINE

>>36809502
Clutch crit!

>>36809502
...we used the gunlance instead of the crossbow, didn't we?

>>36809533
Now I've got to listen to both albums in order again.

Damn you.

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>>36809574

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>>36809502
how am i going to even

>>36809484
Can we tell Moru to PULL THE LEVER?

You know, we gonna need more money to buy new armor. Again. Less cash=Less booze.

>>36809587
Simple; We rank up in Marksdwarf.

>>36809587
>babby's first Gellar field flicker.gif

>>36809587
Become a better marksdwarf, of course.

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>>36809533

>>36809673
IF YOU DESTROY THE WORKING PARTS, WHAT YOU GET IS A BROKEN MACHINE

>>36809718
A BEACON OF LIGHT FROM A BURNING SCREEN

>>36809753
anon... you really need to start fucking using real timestamps instead of ___ minutes ago post timestamp bullshit.

>>36809794
I don't see how that has anything to do with him initially missing Blorp's post cutting the voting.

>>36809825
its a guy that votes in a bunch of quests but only checks the ____ minutes ago timestamp, so invariably ends up voting long after votes are closed because he mistakes 2 hours ago with 2 minutes ago.

so yes, it has everything to do with him voting late because he is too stupid to use a real timestamp, he even admitted it in another quest.

>>36809910
Nah I'm someone else, I loaded the page on my phone and it only went to a certain point. By the time I noticed the rest of it I'd already sent the thing.

Anyways, can we move on?

>>36809965
Never

>>36809972
Curses!

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>>36809321
>>36809484
>[X] [CROSSBOW]
>20

You quickly crawl over to one of the fortifications, peeking through the narrow slit in the snow wall normally reserved for crossbow bolts and arrows.

You flinch away just in time to avoid being blinded by Estelle's magic, a gigantic bolt of lightning that doesn't do anything so mundane as electrocute its enemies- it completely fucking obliterates a squad of draconian soldiers, not even leaving any ash behind. But then she waits, stalking back and forth, her sword and shield out-

You see the problem immediately- all the draconians can fly, and they're doing the SMART thing and staying as far from the ground as they possibly can. The Dragon Warrior's reduced to prowling around beneath her opponents and waiting for her magic to charge back up. In the meantime, the overgrown lizards are swooping down and jabbing at her while her back's turned, and they get the hell out of dodge when Estelle whirls around and slashes wildly, screaming like an overeager rookie instead of the veteran you've come to know. It's strange, since she could wipe them out with a single counterattack, but-

... holy hell, is Estelle THAT distraught over this whole thing?

"Is... is she okay?"

You nearly jump out of your skin (or burst out of your burnt guts, more like) when Moru pipes up from one square over. Waitasec, wasn't she just-

"Senpai- I mean, Rokko wanted me to see what was goin' on," the catgirl grunts, pulling up her gunlance. "We've got to help Estelle, though. She can't even reach them!"

You resist the urge to glance back at Rokko, because you KNOW she sent Moru over here to stop being awkward and to give the Blue Bomber a little alone time. And y'know, maybe she'll take the time to wipe that alcohol off her face, which will plague you forever because you were indirectly responsible for wasting perfectly good booze.

(Cont.)

>>36810312
Instead, you reach over and try to pull out your crossbow, but you have to bite back a scream because it REALLY FUCKING HURTS.

"W-What was that? What was that squeak? Are you hurt!?"

YOU DID NOT SQUEAK- okay, but seriously, you've got to give Estelle fire support. At this rate, it'll take her all day to get rid of these draconians! And you'll probably succumb to infection or something if it takes that long!

Moru nearly knocks you over as she starts scrambling back to her feet. "Then open the door! I'll go and shoot 'em down!" she yowls, her tail lashing back and forth. "I'll-"

- get completely mobbed because Myrra's fucking minions will ignore Estelle and swarm Moru the moment they realize she's packing ranged weaponry. Sit /down/.

The catgirl sinks back down, ears flattened against her head. "But we can't just stay here an' do nothing! You can't shoot your crossbow, and my gunlance can't fire through that... /that/!" She gestures at the thin firing slit carved into the wall.

The thin firing slit carved into the wall that lets projectiles pass through.

The thin firing slit carved into the wall that lets ANY projectile pass through.

Moru shifts uneasily, shrinking back against her gunlance. "... why are you looking at me like that?"

Moments later, Moru's lying against the floor, propped up against her gunlance like it's some freakish sniper rifle. In turn, you're draped on top of /her/, your chestplate resting against the back of her head as you make minute adjustments to the gunlance's aim.

"Urist, are you sure this is gonna work?" she asks, not for the first time. You don't bother answering as you align the gunlance's barrel so that it's perfectly centered against the narrow aperture. It's sorta like pressing a bowling ball against a floppy disc drive.

"U-Urist, this isn't revenge, is it? I said I was sorry! And your breastplate's making my head hurt!"

(Cont.)

>>36810328
No, it's not revenge. C'mon, it's not like she'll suffer anything worse than a broken rib or two, if even that. You both just have to make sure to avoid the backblast. Or roll out of the way. Or, uh, dodge the point-blank explosion as the shell meets an unbreakable wall and turns you all into chunky salsa.

"I don't think I want to do this anymore!"

Alright, alright, fine, she doesn't have to do a thing. Now, just for safety's sake, which one is the trigger again?

"Huh? Oh, it's this one," Moru replies helpfully, tapping the firing mechanism with a clawed finger. "So I'll just be oH GOD URIST WHAT NOOOO-"

You regain consciousness for the second time in fifteen minutes and sit back up, trying to shake off the ringing in your ears (and the hurting in your /goddamn everywhere else/) as you look around. Well, the wall's still there, the gunlance is still there, Moru's still there (although curled up into a fetal position, her hands to her ears), Rokko's staring at you like you're insane (or she's staring past you, you're not sure which), and...

You look out the fortification. The draconians are still there, if by "there" you mean "kinda smeared across the landscape in bits and pieces." The snow is completely and utterly stained red- you can't help but think of those shaved ice bowls with the really artificial strawberry/cherry flavoring liberally poured on it, and wow you'll probably never be able to eat one of those fucking things ever again.

"... Moru?" You can't see Estelle from your position, but her voice is cautious. "Was that you? Are Urist and Rokko in there? Are they- are they safe?"

[ ] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.
[ ] [HURR] Mimic Moru as best you can. Convince Estelle that cats are horrifically evil beings.
[ ] [JUST OPEN] ... you're too tired to talk. Just open the drawbridge.
[ ] [SILENCE] Don't answer her. Let Moru or Rokko take care of it.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

[X] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.

Aka I broke my everything. Fix me plz.

>>36810348
>[X] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.

I am kind of pissed at her, but holy fuck we're dying.

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>>36810348
Urist Twelfthbay has become an Adequate Siege Engineer!
Urist Twelfthbay has become a Competent Crossbowdwarf! (+1 to related checks!)

>>36810348
>[ ] [JUST OPEN] ... you're too tired to talk. Just open the drawbridge.

>>36810348
>[ ] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.

>>36810348
>[ ] [ANSWER]

>>36810348
>[ ] [HURR] Mimic Moru as best you can. Convince Estelle that cats are horrifically evil beings.
It's too funny not to.

>>36810366
So I take it Urist will now design some mini-drawbridges to allow siege weaponry to fire out of?

>>36810348
>[ ] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.
We're okay, thanks for coming

>>36810348
[x] [JUST OPEN] ... you're too tired to talk. Just open the drawbridge.

>>36810312
>[X] [JUST OPEN] ... you're too tired to talk. Just open the drawbridge.

Preferably my throwing something at the switch. Like a boot.

>>36810348
>[HURR]

>>36810348
>[ ] [JUST OPEN] ... you're too tired to talk. Just open the drawbridge.

>>36810348

[ ] [ANSWER] You're all fine, for a given value of 'fine.' Drop the drawbridge and let her in.

>>36810348
> [EMPHATIC GRUNT]
> [DRINK]
> [OPEN THE GATE]
> [DRINK]
> [Hi]

>>36810482
>> [EMPHATIC GRUNT]
>> [DRINK]
>> [OPEN THE GATE]
>> [CLASP ESTELLE'S ARMS]
>> [COUGH]
>> [TOUCHING MOMENT]
>> [DRINK]
>> [SERIOUSLY THOUGH, MAKE WITH THE HEALING]

>>36810524
Fund it.

>>36810348
>[X] [ANSWER] basically tied with
>[X] [JUST OPEN]

You try to answer. Armok knows you try. But all that comes out is an absolutely pathetic-sounding whimper, so high-pitched that you honestly wonder who the fuck has such a horrible voice before you realize it's your own. You clear your throat and try again, this time dredging up an appropriately noncommittal grunt loud enough to carry outside.

"Moru? ... Urist?" Estelle hazards after a few seconds, sounding kinda hesitant. "That's you in there, right?"

In the time it takes for her to speak up, you've already drained the remaining alcohol from your flask (and fervently wishing that Rokko hadn't spilled her share). Then you size up the distance and hurl the metal container at the lever- it connects with a CLANG, and the drawbridge drops open. You squint against the sudden light, which is just as quickly blocked by a familiarly shaggy-headed silhouette.

(Cont.)

>>36810683
It's clear from her teary-eyed expression that Estelle's grappling with her emotions- enough to get you worried- but she manages to push it down, only hesitating for a moment before charging up her magic and filling the entire one-room snow fort with enough healing vibes to refresh a small army, let alone a four-man party. You gasp as your wounds instantly knit back together, a cool tingling sensation spreading across your torso as the burns are removed; it spreads down to your legs, which is absolutely fantastic because you can FEEL them, holy fucking shit.

You barely have enough time to get back to your glorious, wonderful, un-mulched feet before Estelle nearly knocks you right the fuck back down, wrapping her arms around you and burying her face in your matted hair. She murmurs brokenly into the top of your head although it's muffled enough that you can't tell what the fuck she's saying.

... although you can guess. She's probably crying, and she's DEFINITELY apologizing.

[ ] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.
[ ] [WAIT] Don't do a damn thing to comfort her. Just wait it out.
[ ] [PUSH] Push her away. You're still mad at her for not returning your call.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG]

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.

>>36810698
>[X] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.
Let's just ya know, make sure it doesn't happen again.

>>36810698
[x ] [WRITE-IN]
Heal
Heal plz

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.
Come on, it's not that bad. Only one person was torn in half, and that didn't even kill her.

>>36810698
>[x] [WAIT] Don't do a damn thing to comfort her. Just wait it out.

>>36810743
We're already healed

>>36810746
Well, we did get fused to our armor and break our spine.

>>36810698
>[ ] [HUG]
She needs this and despite ourselves we are a good friend.

>>36810698
>[X] [HUG] Don't say a damn thing to ruin the moment. Just hug her back.

"Big Sis, does healing magic work on robots, or are we gonna need a mechanic?"

>>36810698
>[DEFUSE] You, you should tell her to go check on Rokko. She's robotic, so the healing magic might not have worked.

>>36810698
>[x] [WRITE-IN] Now kiss

>>36810955
No, Our love lies with Rokko!

>>36810967
Actually I agree with this. Estelle is more of a adopted sister/life partner than love interest.

>>36810967
Love?
Nay, bromance.
Robromance?

I'm more anti-/u/ than anything, but at the moment if I had to pick anyone, it'd probably be Rokko.

Anything with Estelle would be too uneven.

>>36810996
Also, who are we to get in the way of the steaming hot EstellexAin hatesex.

>>36811027
It's not even hate, I don't think.

>>36811071
More like extreme tension that either breaks down into them exchanging blows or passionate fucking.

>>36811164
Or both

>>36808332
>Both you and rokko dragged your legless selves to the same spot
thats cute, and sad, and i am wondering if this is going to be a thing now.

>>36810698
>[X] [HUG]

You don't even bother with a reply. You just heave a long-suffering sigh before wrapping your own noodly arms around the Dragon Warrior, resting your cheek against her breastplate (and avoiding those damn seams in the armor because you like your cheek whole and not sliced open).

Estelle stiffens like she's surprised that you'd reciprocate- c'mon, now, you were a little miffed at the phone thing, but you're not /mad/; she clearly read your text, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten here so fast. You can't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound hokey or prying (because all that stuff with Ain was ridiculous); in the end, all you can do is to just pat her on the back, trying to reassure her in your own stupid way.

Apparently, that's all it takes for her to squeeze you so hard that a small "ghk" escapes your throat. You can't help but heave another sigh that's equal parts exasperated and fond. Seriously. Who the hell is the big sister in this relationship? How can you leave behind someone like Estelle? Even putting aside the fact that she's a walking heal dispenser, and putting aside her whole little sister obsession, she's been pretty damn good to you.

... some instinct tells you to raise your hand, and you do so just in time to catch your flask. You shift to see past Estelle- it was probably Rokko, given how she's looking at you- and the fact that she's standing next to the lever.

Wait. Standing?

(Cont.)

>>36811389
You edge your head further out from beneath Estelle's arms to stare at Rokko; in your peripheral vision, you notice Moru doing much the same, looking more hopeful than you've ever seen her. The Blue Bomber still looks like complete shit, banged up and in serious disrepair, but the important thing is that both halves of her have been miraculously fused back together. Hell, the fact that Rokko's standing up again under her own power, even if she's got one hand braced against the wall, is impressive in and of itself.

The robot girl notices you staring and she actually makes a show of licking her lips. It's as human as you've ever seen her. "N-Not bad. It's... an a-acquired taste," she drones in her own uniquely broken deadpan, sounding a bit apologetic.

... you stare at her a bit longer before you stare down at the flask in your hand. MotherFUCKER, you threw your full tertiary flask at the lever instead of the secondary flask you'd just drained dry! If your goddamn throw spilled any alcohol on the floor-

Estelle pulls away from you, wiping the tears from her eyes before turning to face the Blue Bomber. You take the chance to make sure your flask isn't broken. "Sorry, Rokko, my heals never seem to work that well on you-"

"D-Do not... apologize." Rokko stands as still as a statue, and it takes you a moment to realize that it's probably her default pose. "Your heals... a-are always. A miracle."

[ ] [WHAT] Estelle can heal robots!? How the- what the hell, how does that even work? Can she heal your future fort!?
[ ] [WAIT] Estelle and Rokko know each other? Really? Just how old IS everyone here, anyway?
[ ] [FFFF] Rokko can drink alcohol!? She was just sputtering on it a few minutes back! And she might even owe you half a flask!
[ ] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36811412
[X] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.

Better not tempt fate for round 2.

>>36811412
>[x] [FFFF] Rokko can drink alcohol!? She was just sputtering on it a few minutes back! And she might even owe you half a flask!
>[x] [WHAT] Estelle can heal robots!? How the- what the hell, how does that even work? Can she heal your future fort!?

Priorities. First worry about the booze, secondly look out for ways to improve our fort.

>>36811412
>[ ] [WAIT] Estelle and Rokko know each other? Really? Just how old IS everyone here, anyway?
Urist is the littlest sister, practically a baby

>>36811412
>[ ] [FFFF] Rokko can drink alcohol!? She was just sputtering on it a few minutes back! And she might even owe you half a flask!

She doesn't owe us anything, but we should totally get her shitfaced.

>>36811412
>[X] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.
Let's avoid the whole age and long history topic for now.

Shouldn't Rokko look a little less shitty with the Super Smash WiiU appearance?

>>36811412
>[X] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.

We're not even getting paid for this shit.
Wait, are me? There were mobs, and a bossfight.

>[X] Glance around for treasure before you go. You know, just in case the world decides to be fair by it's own fucked up rules.

>>36811412
Hey, could we use our debugger on Rokko?

>>36811412
>[ ] [FFFF] Rokko can drink alcohol!? She was just sputtering on it a few minutes back! And she might even owe you half a flask!
>[ ] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.

>>36811412
>[ ] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.

>>36811476
Aren't those kind of things configured to one person?

Using DFHack on anyone else seems dangerous.

>>36811476
>DEBUG Unlocked: I'm a real bo-err girl!
Recieve full affects of healing and helpful buffs

>>36811412
>[ ] [FFFF] Rokko can drink alcohol!? She was just sputtering on it a few minutes back! And she might even owe you half a flask!
>[ ] [TOWN] Alright, you can all continue these conversations back in town. You don't feel safe with a tunnel leading to who knows where.
TO THE INN/PUB WE GO!

>>36811501
I think he means the mantis thing debugger.

I believe Blorp stated it might be used to find bugs in others as an advanced use. I dunno if that meant if we upgraded it or not.

>>36811468
Glancing a good too. Because, you know, boss fights.

>>36811476
>>36811501
>>36811510
>>36811519
DFHack is personal to Urist; the Mantis Bugtracker can, however, be used to identify bugs in other adventurers, although it'll take some trial and error before Urist can reliably pull it off!

I may or may not tie it to her Diagnostician skill.

Also, [X] [TOWN] and [X] [FFFF] and maybe a bit of [X] [GLANCING] win!

>>36811412
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
her heal worked miracles on rokko actually, it was a LOT worse than it looked (thanks moru arranged her to look like she was sitting instead of in pieces).
so, really, she did good.

>>36811468
I am upvoting this

>>36811468
This

>>36811568
We should try it out then, I mean even if we end up not being able to do anything today it would still be good to try.

>>36811412
>[X] [TOWN]
>[X] [FFFF]
>... but first, [X] [GLANCE]

Right! Great, that's fascinating and all, but you all really oughta go back to town first. You don't know if Myrra and that fucking fly will come back with reinforcements, or if some other form of monster's going to start pouring out of that hole in the floor of your snow fort.

... surprise surprise, there's absolutely no disagreement on THAT count. Still, it's not nearly as easy as it sounds, since you've got a few things left to take care of.

It takes a few minutes, but you disassemble the drawbridge, intent on converting it into a wall so that no one else can get in or out. Then you just floor over every tile on the ground to prevent anyone ELSE from digging up into your fort. Invaders capable of mining are literally your worst nightmare, no holds barred.

You're all about to mosey on out of your little snow fort and get to work on sealing it up when you notice something glittering just inside the pit. There's a small ledge- almost an indentation, like a handhold or something- and on top of THAT, there's...

(Cont.)

>>36811782
There's a treasure cube. A goddamned treasure cube, floating in all its electronic-looking glory. Next to it is a small container, made of glass and metal and absurdly high-tech thingamabobs, and it's... it's just large enough to hold, say, a treasure cube.

It looks for all the world like someone accidentally dropped the container and spilled its contents out. And those contents just so happened to be a goddamn treasure cube, which are USUALLY only found in dungeons, except there are these merchants who found some way to dredge them up and sell 'em in towns for ludicrous prices...

So what you're trying to say is, it's a goddamn treasure cube and a goddamn magical treasure cube holder that's more closely protected than the recipe to some chicken fried with secret spices.

[ ] [YOINK] Use the treasure cube! Free treasure, fuck yeah!
[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.
[ ] [CLOSE] Try to put the treasure cube back into the container.
[ ] [NOPE] MYRRA dropped this? Ha ha ha wow you're not taking that risk.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36811811
>[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.
Look at the loot.

>>36811811
>[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.
Anyone know the identify skill?

>>36811811
>[ ] [GUYS...]

>>36811811
>[ ] [YOINK] Use the treasure cube! Free treasure, fuck yeah!
>[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.

>>36811811
>[x] [YOINK] Use the treasure cube! Free treasure, fuck yeah!
>[x] [GUYS!] Call your group to check out your sweet loot.

>>36811811
>[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.

>>36811811
>[x] [YOINK] Use the treasure cube! Free treasure, fuck yeah!
>[x] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.

Treasure cube. HOLDER.

>>36811811
>[ ] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.
I bet CPU whiteheart would want to see this.

>>36811811
>[X] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.

>>36811811
>[X] [GUYS...] Call your group over here. They need to see this.
>[X] [YOINK] But we have dibs. Because we saved all our asses my building a fort then getting blown up.
>[X] [TAKE THE TREASURE HOLDER] I bet that shit's worth some coin in town. Might be able to refresh our booze stores with it. . . Unless. . . Could we learn to harvest treasure? What if. . . What if we could have Estelle harvest and give us HER TREASURE? I mean, she doesn't need it, she's been around forever, and we need every helping hand we can get!

>>36811848
We can probably keep the treasure, but she totally needs to see that holder

>>36811845
>Treasure cube. HOLDER.
Didn't those two cult nerds have one too, what happened to that one?

>>36811868
Are we the most deserving of the treasure? Rokko was fighting longer than we were.

>>36811914
They did not! They only had the equivalent of power drills and wrenches, and they were trying to brute-force pulling treasure cubes out of the dungeon.

>>36811918
Hmm.

Okay, both we and Rokko held our own, and suffered severe damage. I suppose it should go to one of us.

I mean, she's older then us and probably better equipped. . . But if she could use it, she is kinda beat up, and was a total Brewbro earlier.

I will part with it for (Honorary Dwarf) Rokko. But NO ONE ELSE.

>>36811918
Yeah, I guess that's true.

>>36811918
Didn't a cube give 1 treasure to each person?
Also, we can always use it AFTER whiteheart inspects it and hears about it. we have a cube holder after all, just use it on the cube

>>36811971
>Didn't a cube give 1 treasure to each person?
Pretty sure it does, I mean it works like that in dungeons, who knows if it's okay after getting shoved in a box.

>>36811971
For natural Dungeon Loot.
This is the equivalent of a microtransaction.
Obviously it's not nearly as sharable.

Unless it's one of the REALLY expensive ones . . .

>>36811971
>>36811998
Nah, a cube gives one treasure to one person!

It's just almost never a problem because dungeons barf up enough cubes for everyone who beat the boss.


Also, [X] [GUYS...] wins by a landslide, although I'm using some of these write-ins for the next choice!

Maybe Rokko can find an auto repair upgrade. Does the megaman universe have nanotechnology?

>>36812028
>Rokko gains MODCANNON.
>Rokko has access to all Weapons and Items from all games.
>Rokko is now a Wizard with ALL THE SPELLS.

>>36812028
She might have to fight MetalGear for it.

>>36812043
>Gamindustri NERFS Rokko!

>>36812063
So she gets a brand deal and all her projectiles look like foam darts?

>>36812014
>although I'm using some of these write-ins for the next choice!
that is fine and good.

>>36812081
No, just her hand cannon toy line uses foam pellets

>>36812138
...I want one

>>36811811
>[X] [GUYS...]

All four of you are adventurers in heart and soul, so "treasure cube" is enough to get EVERYONE'S attention; the moment those words leave your lips, you're all crowded around the pit, peering into it like a bunch of yokels. You only let yourself relax when Estelle and Rokko immediately identify the thing as a treasure cube and not secretly a magic bomb that'll melt the flesh off your bones the second you touch it.

It takes a minute or so to hash out the rest of the details.

"Blanc- er, CPU White Heart's going to want to see this," Estelle says thoughtfully, turning the cube container over in her hands. "Even if we weren't already telling her about the attack on Rokko. I mean, whoever stole this from one of the treasure cube merchants has got to be some sort of legendary thief, right?"

Or a spell-caster who shits out enough magic to destroy the world three fucking times over, yeah.

"N-Not... mutually, exclusive," Rokko adds, still stumbling over her words. She's been watching the treasure cube unerringly, like she's hypnotized by the light patterns dancing across its translucent surface. "But. I, agree. Such incidents w-within the borders of a-any, nation. Must be r-reported."

No argument there. You cross your arms and assume a cross-legged position, staring into the pit to keep an eye out for subterranean monsters. Giant flies are one thing, but anyone who packs that level of firepower's pretty fucking scary.

Moru's tail lashes back and forth, and she's been frowning down at the treasure cube. "Okay, um. I know we're all thinkin' it, but- who's going to take the cube? Or should we take it back to Blanc?"

(Cont.)

>>36812265
"I'll pass." Estelle's reply is immediate, and- ah, there's the easy grin you know her for. "I only showed up at the end of it, so I've got no say in this!"

"I'd LIKE it, but..." Moru's ears flatten against her head again, and she hunches in on herself. "I, uh, I don't think I deserve it. Not after what happened," she adds, in a tone that brooks no argument.

... not that it stops Rokko from trying. "M-Moru. Do not, blame y-yourself. That was-"

"Even if that DIDN'T happen," the catgirl shoots back, "I didn't bleed nearly as much as you two did! You guys deserve it more than I do!"

You kinda get the sense that she was about to say "you guys need it more," but you stay quiet. Your glance over at Rokko, whose blank eyes swivel back to meet your gaze. It's... it's a little intimidating, to be honest. And maybe the Blue Bomber realizes that, because she breaks off the stare to study the cube.

"T-The choice is, yours."

[ ] [YOU] kinda want the treasure cube. Even in her run-down state, Rokko's still stronger than you.
[ ] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.
[ ] [MORU] could definitely use the pick-me-up. Her gunlance nearly screwed you all, but it also ended the battle.
[ ] [ESTELLE] should take it. She healed all your asses and saved all your lives, even if she was late to the fight.
[ ] [NOPE] Put the treasure cube into the cube container and bring it back to Blanc, as undeniable proof.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36812283
>[ ] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.
It's not like we can't get more later anyway, it's just one treasure.

>>36812283
NOPE, maybe she'll reward us with something else. But if she gives it back to us to use give it to ROKKO.

>>36812283
>[ ] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.

>>36812283
[X] [NOPE] Put the treasure cube into the cube container and bring it back to Blanc, as undeniable proof.

>>36812283
>[X] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.

In our time of pain, and need, she was willing to give us the booze we so sorely needed. She is honorary Dwarf, and, since our paths are unlikely to cross again, this we can do for her.

But she owes us a drink.

>>36812283
[ ] [NOPE] Put the treasure cube into the cube container and bring it back to Blanc, as undeniable proof.

>>36812283
>[x] [NOPE] Put the treasure cube into the cube container and bring it back to Blanc, as undeniable proof.

>>36812283
We give it to the Rokko. In return, she will buy us a fucking barrel of the strongest booze stuff we will find. No one will SPIT OUT OUR BOOZE AND GOES UNPUNISHED FOR THIS!!!

>>36812283
>[ ] [ROKKO]

>>36812283
>[X] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.
But I think she should only take it after we get to Whiteheart, and show her. No reason it can't wait a little, right?

>>36812319
For what she did she owe us a barrel, not a measly one drink.

Rokko likes our booze, yeah? I hope she becomes our drinking buddy or something.

Rokko seriously is a goddamn honorary dwarf.
OTP

>>36812353
A Dwarf Drink is a barrel.

I mean, you see what Rokko chugs down? Those E Cans don't look tiny, do they?

>>36812346
We should point out what it takes for adventurers to even delay opening up loot. If the situation requires consuming it then too bad, but we'll be in position to ask a favor at least. She can probably do something to help Rokko.

>>36812283
Since the oinly two votes seem to be Rokko and Nope, split the difference and have Rokko try to put it in the box and if it fails she claims it?

Judging by her state of repair, I'm not sure if even a 20 would get that to work perfectly. . .

>>36812283
>>[X] [ROKKO] sort of NEEDS it more. Sure, she's stronger than you, but... she's saved your bacon more this time.

Robit a cute

>>36812359
Her name even comes from Rock.
(No one needs to explain to Urist that it is referring to music.)

>>36812493
[X] [ROKKO] edges it out by a few votes!

While I do try to combine winning votes, that doesn't work when they're pretty much mutually exclusive. Also, I've already started writing the post!

>>36812283
>[ ] [NOPE] Put the treasure cube into the cube container and bring it back to Blanc, as undeniable proof.
I am pretty sure blank will let us use it after she sees it. at which point we can give it to rokko

>>36812520
Go Go Mrs Roboto

>>36812520
>>36812493
They are only mutually exclusive if CPU whiteheart confiscates the cube and doesn't let us use it after she sees it.

>>36812565
Well, if it was stolen, it totally belongs to that merchant.

>>36812585
These guys are prob behind the whole thing

>>36812585
>Well, if it was stolen, it totally belongs to that merchant.
Did the merchant acquire it legally from a dungeon?
And who said it was taken from that one specific merchant? there is more than one merchant in the world.

>>36812618
everyone is assuming they stole it from a merchant, what if they are the ones supplying the merchants with the treasure cubes?

>>36812645
that is also a possibility
or are associated with a completely unaligned third party who recreated the tech from scratch once they knew it was possible

maybe this is what they promised myrra in pay in order to get her to work for them

>>36812645
That's kinda what I've been assuming, especially since those weirdo cultist nerds were also trying to take the treasures from the dungeons

>>36812283
>"I, uh, I don't think I deserve it. Not after what happened,"
can we give some headpats and encouraging words here. I mean, it really wasn't her fault that myrra got her with that control spell.

>>36812680
Only if we can somehow have Estelle get wrapped up in a musunderstanding fight until she realizes Moru was under mind control.

>>36812283
>[X] [ROKKO]

The choice is yours, huh? In that case, you're giving it to Rokko.

Rokko blinks at you, her frown deepening a little. "I-I don't, need it," she grinds out. She gestures to herself- her dents, her exposed wiring, her grimy face. "Just because, I... look like this-"

You cut her off with a snort and a wave of your hand. That's not the reason. Hell, if Rokko wants to get into a competition over who looks the worst after any given dungeon run, then you'd win hands down, 90% of the time. You return the favor by gesturing to /yourself/- all the healing magic in the world can't do shit for the bloodstains on your face, the gashed-open armor (shit, your midriff is revealed, that's one point for Gamindustri's laws of bullshit moe physics), and the fact that your hair will always be a worse mess than hers will be.

You're giving the treasure cube to Rokko not out of pity, but because she saved your sorry ass. BUT, you growl, pointing a finger at the Blue Bomber, your'e still not entirely even, 'cause she still owes you a goddamn barrel of booze after what she spilled down her chin. Got it?

Rokko blinks at you. It's a bit startling, but that's because you belatedly realize that she really hasn't been /blinking/. You also can't help but notice, once again, the bags under her seemingly empty eyes or the way she seems to stare right through you. But then she nods. "A-Affirmative," she drones out, her broken vocals blurring out any emotion she might be trying to express.

As Rokko reaches out to the treasure cube, you feel a hand ruffling your hair- fuck, when did your helmet fall off?- and you glance up to- okay, it's Estelle, and she's got this big old shit-eating grin on her face. Or maybe it's pride? Sometimes, it's hard to tell with your big sis. No help's coming from Moru's corner, either, since she's all but bouncing on her heels as she watches this whole thing unfold.

(Cont.)

>>36812795
Before you can make any comment (i.e. telling Estelle that she'd better make NO comment about all this), you turn back to see how Rokko's doing, and she's got her hands clasped over her armor, where her heart would be. If the mere hint of an emotion on that face was enough to surprise you, then her current expression is enough to fucking /floor/ you.

There's something almost heartbreakingly wistful about her stare, like she's staring into the past, or seeing the ghost of someone who died long ago. Her blue-green eyes are indistinguishable from any human being's; for a moment, she doesn't look like a super fighting robot, but a normal girl who just so happens to be dressed up in armor.

The moment passes, and Rokko drops her hands to her sides; her expression settles back to neutral, the light in her eyes dims, and she's as beat up and time-worn as she ever was. But then she looks back up at you. "T-Thank, you. Urist," she deadpans, her voicebox as broken as it ever was.

... but jeez. Who would've thought that a flickering glimmer would be the difference between dead fish eyes and the sense that there's something /alive/ in there?

Soon enough, you're all on the path back to Lowee's capital; there's nothing left for you back in your little snow fort, especially not after you paved over that fucking pit in the floor AND blocked off the entrance. You're the only one who can get back in, now.

'Course, you end up pairing off with someone and end up chatting a bit.

>CHOOSE ONE:
[ ] [ESTELLE] You could take this chance to hash some things out with big sis. Goddammit, Ain.
[ ] [MORU] You could try to tell the catgirl that, y'know, it's not really HER fault that she blew everyone up.
[ ] [ROKKO] You COULD get to know the robot a bit better, maybe ask her what the fuck she /got/ from her cube.
[ ] [GROUP CONVO] Because god knows how hard it is to talk without everyone butting in at once.
[ ] [TIMESKIP] No more talkings! Go to town!

>>36812805
> [ ] [ROKKO] You COULD get to know the robot a bit better, maybe ask her what the fuck she /got/ from her cube.
Also why the fuck she can't get proper repairs anywhere.

[ ] [ESTELLE] You could take this chance to hash some things out with big sis. Goddammit, Ain.

>>36812805
>[ ] [GROUP CONVO] Because god knows how hard it is to talk without everyone butting in at once.
Blorp, is there a Roll-Chan and an X-Chan and a Zero-Chan and a Trigger-Chan and an .EXE-Chan? Because there totally should be.

>>36812805
>[X] [ROKKO] You COULD get to know the robot a bit better, maybe ask her what the fuck she /got/ from her cube.

And let's fiddle with our debugger while we're at it. You know, it's new, and we're buggy. Not that we're particularly trying to, you know, check her for bugs. Just testing to see how it works.

>>36812805
>[ ] [ROKKO] You COULD get to know the robot a bit better, maybe ask her what the fuck she /got/ from her cube.
Make sure to bring up the booze topic.
Kinda missed out on the [FFFF] option earlier.

>>36812805
> [X] [ROKKO] You COULD get to know the robot a bit better, maybe ask her what the fuck she /got/ from her cube.

I don't care for the waifu faggotry, but I do want to know...

>>36812805
>[ ] [ROKKO]

>>36812805
>[ ] [ESTELLE] You could take this chance to hash some things out with big sis. Goddammit, Ain.
How is she feeling, we kinda left each other after a rough spot.

>>36812830
One person per game series, I think. But maybe spinoffs are separate? Could be a Zero, at least.

>>36812805
>[ ] [ESTELLE]

>>36812805
>[x] [GROUP CONVO] Because god knows how hard it is to talk without everyone butting in at once.
Regale to them a story you were told about a axedwarf who ran afoul a megabeast that shed necrotic dust and how after the doc was done with him, all his skin had been replaced with adamantine thread. Was still a part of the Fortress' Militia and apparently was equal parts awesome and terrifying to every trade caravan that came through

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>>36812830
>>36812861
It's a strict one character per game series! Otherwise there would just be too many.

Like, if I started letting all the Mega Man spinoffs/side series in, then I'd have to let in a bunch of other Estelles (Dragon Quest Monsters etc) and a metric fuckton of Ains (Tactics series, Crystal Chronicles, etc), and then you'd probably see me have a breakdown.

>>36812906
that sounds incredibly amusing

>>36812805
[ x] [GROUP CONVO] Because god knows how hard it is to talk without everyone butting in at once.

>>36812906
>>36812964
This actually happened in someone's game.
Even better, as a side benefit of his skin being replaced with adamantine, he was effectively rendered immune to bladed weapons and was incapable of feeling pain.

>>36812907
Rokko's got the yellow ponytail thing going on, anyway. That, and her general beatup, "still fighting" personality is very Zero.

We haven't seen Rokko change armor/forms/henshin, though. If Weapon Copy works on magic, she's going to WRECK SOME SHIT.

>>36812906
wait...in new version there is a SKIN TRANSPLANTATION?!

>>36813038
I heard similar, but it was basically all the muscle mass. Somewhere between robocop terminator and the million door man.

>>36813038
Not really, it was a thing with the sutures and stitches being made of adamantine thread and the medical dwarf kept sewing them in while his skin was rotting off.

>>36813065
Million dollar.

Fuck you phone

>>36813065
>million door man.
I'd like to see this.

>>36812805
>[X] [ROKKO]

As it turns out, you don't have much choice in the matter. Moru pretty much has Estelle's ear the whole time, describing the fight and, MUCH more importantly, telling her just how big a faggot Myrra the Master of Magic is (although not QUITE in those words, of course). From what you catch here and there, Estelle's taking it pretty seriously, asking her about the types of spells being thrown around and just what Myrra was gabbling on about.

You and Rokko naturally fall behind, because you're short enough that the snow's sort of a problem, while the super fighting robot is far from perfectly healed, so her walking speed isn't particularly fast OR steady. You keep pace with each other easily enough, at least, and for a while, you both focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

You’re the first one to break the silence, because you can’t keep your curiosity contained any longer- just what WAS it that Rokko found in her treasure cube, anyway?

The Blue Bomber doesn’t answer for a little while. You occasionally shoot glances in her direction, but she’s just staring straight ahead, the cold weather turning her breath into white plumes (you don’t know if it’s kosher to ask her if that’s simulated or real). It’s only a minute or so later that you hear her halting answer.

“H-Hope,” Rokko murmurs softly. “For, the… third legend.”

… huh. You glance over at the Blue Bomber and she meets your eyes. She DOES seem livelier than before. Does hope really make that much of a difference?

“A-Affirmative. It, makes all t-the, difference in… the world.”

(Cont.)

>>36813111
Well, you sort of understand that feeling. You think. But Rokko’s getting that thousand-yard stare again, and you’re pretty sure she’s floating back into her memories- so you elbow her in the side to keep her anchored in the present. So she’s sure that it’s not the alcohol that gave her hope?

Rokko shoots you a stare flat enough to stand on. “R-Reasonably sure.” Ah, there’s that deadpan again. “You seem, extraordinarily a-attached to, your alcohol.”

Yeah, well, you’re a goddamn dwarf, despite how you look. Alcohol is love, alcohol is life!

“F-Figuratively speaking, or literally?”

How is that even a question? No, wait, speaking of questions- you brandish your flask at her. How did Rokko even manage to drain your second flask?? It was half full, goddammit! And she’d just been choking on the stuff before-

Rokko’s reply cuts you off. “I-I adapt quickly.” There’s a hint of pride in her monotone. “Even if it’s, not a p-power I can make use of. T-The taste was interesting.”

Well, no, you don’t drink it ENTIRELY for the taste, but for the rest of the experience! Like getting drunk, or forgetting one’s cares, or-

“I-I’ll have to, learn how to do t-that sometime,” Rokko deadpans in all seriousness. She absentmindedly flicks her ponytail back over her shoulder- the first time you remember her doing that. “I-I could stand to, forget my cares. Every now and then.”

… good fucking lord. Robots that can feel emotions, eat food, and drink some poor unsuspecting fuckers under the table. Who would’ve thought?

[TO BE CONTINUED LATER]
***[INCOMING POLL!]***

>>36813111
>“H-Hope,” Rokko murmurs softly. “For, the… third legend.”
We will keep that hope alive! Fuck Capcom, Praise Nintendo!

>>36813111
>“H-Hope,” Rokko murmurs softly. “For, the… third legend.”
Pls no

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Well, The thread seems to be winding down.

Are there any games you guys would like to see pop up? Personally, I'd like to see a Souls-chan. hell, there's even a moe as hell character! Despite being like 12 feet tall!

>>36813174
Souls-chan would be a nice touch. I was thinking that another flavor of 4x could work like one of the sci fi or fantasy ones.

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OKAY SO! This thread is over, but I've got a question to pose to you guys.

I probably won't be able to run full threads until the first week of January, when the holiday season is over. However, I'm thinking of running smaller threads- but that'll be pretty dicey for continuing the main quest, and I dunno if we'll even be able to get very far with, say, 3 or 4 hours to run with instead of the usual.

So I'm thinking of trying to run smaller threads as sidestories/backstories that are either tangential to the main plot or have to do with one or two characters' pasts. Got a few things lined up, and I'd like you guys' input for which you'd like to see the next time!

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING MINIQUESTS:
[ ] [ESTELLE] First Fantasy
[ ] [AIN] Last Quest
[ ] [MORU] The Capcom Family
[ ] [ROKKO] Running on Empty
[ ] [MOBAS] STOP FEEDING YOU FUCKING NOOB
[ ] [MOJANG] How I Met Senpai
[ ] [BLANC] A Goddamn Day in the Shitheaded Life of a Goddess
[ ] [??????] Broken Heart
[ ] [HOLIDAY] Improbable Christmastime Story That Doesn't Fit In The Main Continuity At All
[ ] [MAIN QUEST] Screw the short stories, just keep running the main quest as usual!
[ ] [WRITE-IN] GODDAMMIT BLORP YOU FORGOT SOMEONE/THING

>>36813215
God damn it blorp
I want to pick like 4 of those options, why do you have to make me choose

>>36813215
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] GODDAMMIT BLORP YOU FORGOT SOMEONE/THING
Boss Bawss' Adventures in Hyperdimension Neptunia.

>>36813215
>[ ] [ROKKO] Running on Empty
I'm a sucker for these kinds of stories.

>>36813215
Fuck this is a hard decision.

>[ ] [HOLIDAY] Improbable Christmastime Story That Doesn't Fit In The Main Continuity At All
It was either this or Mojang or Blanc

>>36813215
[ ] [ROKKO] Running on Empty
or
[ ] [MAIN QUEST] Screw the short stories, just keep running the main quest as usual!

>>36813215
> [ ] [BLANC] A Goddamn Day in the Shitheaded Life of a Goddess
I can't explain why this seems so appealing.

>>36813248
Because Blanc best megami

>>36813215
>[X] [HOLIDAY] An X-Com Before Christmas
>[X] [MAIN QUEST] Screw the short stories, just keep running the main quest as usual!

Either or.
>[X] [WRITE-IN] A quest based on Viscera Clean-Up Moe? "I'm going to be the best janitor this dungeon ever. . . Goddamnit."

>>36813215
>[ ] [ESTELLE]

>>36813215
>[X] [HOLIDAY] Improbable Christmastime Story That Doesn't Fit In The Main Continuity At All

>>36813129
>>36813140
Mighty No. 9?

[ ] [ROKKO] Running on Empty
This was a really tough fucking choice.
I really wanted to go for Mojang. Because it seemed silly and light-hearted and we didn't know a lot about Mojang.
But fuck.

This is breaking my heart, Blorp. I swear to god, I hope we get more mini-quests in the future or something.

>>36813215
[X] [BLANC] A Goddamn Day in the Shitheaded Life of a Goddess

or

>>36813232
>[X] [WRITE-IN] GODDAMMIT BLORP YOU FORGOT SOMEONE/THING
Boss Bawss' Adventures in Hyperdimension Neptunia.

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>>36813215
A'RIGHT I'm going to tally the results later, because it's ludicrously late and I desperately need to sleep!

Next thread will... VERY TENTATIVELY be set for Saturday, 12/20, probably closer to 9 pm EST, although I will definitely post updates to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest. So please keep an eye on that, since all potential threads until the first week of January will be touch-and-go!

Thanks for participating, guys, and I hope you enjoyed this longer-than-usual thread; as always, if you've got something to tell me, toss in some comments here and/or at ask.fm/BlorpQuest !

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>>36813278
>Mighty No. 9?
Hell no. One day we'll reach the moon.

>reach the moon.
Speaking off, I downloaded Street Fighter x All Capcom, and the screen that shows up after you pick your starter series is a Servbot launching a rocket to the moon.

All my rage.

>>36813278
Mega Man Legends 3: Prototype Version probably.

>>36813296
Thanks for the thread Blorp, can't wait for next time, when ever that will be.

>>36813215
>[ ] [BLANC] A Goddamn Day in the Shitheaded Life of a Goddess

>>36813296
I wanted to vote for 5 different options, this was agonizing.

Night Blorp

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>>36813298
Not happy with MN9?

>>36813301
Thought that got canceled. Glad to see that they changed their minds.

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>>36813232
>>36813295
>Boss Bawss's Adventures in Hyperdimension Neptunia

haha ohgod

please stick to stuff related to this specific quest!!


>>36813229
>>36813284
>>36813313
If it's any consolation, I'll probably save these up and run mini-threads in the future too, so this won't be the one and only chance to see these at work!

>>36813215
>[ ] [BLANC] A Goddamn Day in the Shitheaded Life of a Goddess
It was either this or more heartbreak with Rokko, hard choice.

>>36813347
It is related to this specific quest, it takes place in the same setting world as this one.
Also, I wanna see Bawss again, even if it's for a miniquest.

>>36813347
Bawss probably had to walk through Gamindustri on his way back to Ogirplace. Totally related to the quest.

Please bring back ogre roll system kthxbai

>>36813341
As far as I can tell, they haven't. Shit sux, yo. But that might be what was referenced in the quest, it takes place some years back I guess?

Anyways, nine looks good and i have high hopes for it but it won't give closure to the legends series.