/tg/ - Traditional Games

A Salesdwarf Archived

The incredible Peddlewheeler! 12/15/14(Mon)16:52:11 No.36783496

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The incredible Peddlewheeler! A Salesdwarf 12/15/14(Mon)16:52:11 No.36783496 Archived

Good morning, brave adventurers! I can see that you have had a long march on whatever quest you have. As such, I have something which can boost your speed. An excellent alternative to horses which does not need to be fed, watered and will never get the Runny Butt and die on you. The Peddlewheeler!

The Peddlewheeler is this marvelous metal device that my clan has contrived that allows the user to keep up a running pace all day long! All you do is sit on the seat, grab the front handles, put your feet into the peddles and turn them with your feet which will send you along quickly. To turn, you just turn the front wheel to the left or right as needed. It takes a bit of practice, but once you get the hand of these wonderful contrivances you will cut your travel times in half at least!

A peddlewheeler can be yours for 10 Gold Pieces. In contrast even an old nag would cost you 15.

villager
12/15/14(Mon)16:56:11 No.36783565

villager 12/15/14(Mon)16:56:11 No.36783565

I am skeptical of this beast, if it gets tired and I am stranded can I eat the peedolwhellar?

A Salesdwarf
12/15/14(Mon)16:57:57 No.36783583

A Salesdwarf 12/15/14(Mon)16:57:57 No.36783583

>>36783565
Don't worry about it, a Peddlewheeler will never get tired!

A local shaman
12/15/14(Mon)17:00:22 No.36783614

A local shaman 12/15/14(Mon)17:00:22 No.36783614

>>36783583
Perhaps I wish to perform ritualistic cleansing upon this PoodleWhaler, where would I strike the beast to inflict humbling pain?

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)17:04:33 No.36783678

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)17:04:33 No.36783678

But does it know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

A bloke covered in shite
12/15/14(Mon)17:04:45 No.36783682

A bloke covered in shite 12/15/14(Mon)17:04:45 No.36783682

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>>36783496
WHOT IF I WONT TO FUCK IT IN THA BUM?

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)17:07:53 No.36783729

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)17:07:53 No.36783729

>>36783682
Oi mate, you've got a perfectly good sheep!

Wizard
12/15/14(Mon)17:09:18 No.36783748

Wizard 12/15/14(Mon)17:09:18 No.36783748

What if we were to take a Peddle Wheeler, make the frame longer, and add another seat and handlebars? I shall call it, a Peddle Wheeler Deluxe.

A Salesdwarf
12/15/14(Mon)17:10:51 No.36783775

A Salesdwarf 12/15/14(Mon)17:10:51 No.36783775

>>36783748
We can give the idea a shot, though it will cost more due to being a custom job.

A bloke covered in shite
12/15/14(Mon)17:11:28 No.36783782

A bloke covered in shite 12/15/14(Mon)17:11:28 No.36783782

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>>36783729
Ya but it kinda loses its appeal innit?
Afta the fouth or fifth good bumhumpin the sheeps go a little droopy dont they?

Wizars
12/15/14(Mon)17:12:27 No.36783794

Wizars 12/15/14(Mon)17:12:27 No.36783794

>>36783775
Wait, I've a better idea! Attach 5 seats and handlebars, my entire party shall ride on one!

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)17:13:41 No.36783812

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)17:13:41 No.36783812

>>36783782
Nah mate, you gotta cycle them out, have 3 different ones that you change out after a bumfuckin

A Guardsman.
12/15/14(Mon)17:15:30 No.36783844

A Guardsman. 12/15/14(Mon)17:15:30 No.36783844

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>>36783775
Oi you there! Whot if you was tah make the Paddlewafer wif only one wheel?

A Guardsman.
12/15/14(Mon)17:18:40 No.36783897

A Guardsman. 12/15/14(Mon)17:18:40 No.36783897

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>>36783812
>>36783812
I'm tired of stickin my willie in sheeps fluffy bumholes! I wont some change round here mind you, an' this puffinsailor's tha perfect opportunity for some exploration.

A Salesdwarf
12/15/14(Mon)17:25:38 No.36784023

A Salesdwarf 12/15/14(Mon)17:25:38 No.36784023

>>36783844
Might work, but it would probably be rather unstable. If you want to commission one we would be glad to make one for you.

A second Guardsman.
12/15/14(Mon)17:29:22 No.36784098

A second Guardsman. 12/15/14(Mon)17:29:22 No.36784098

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>>36784023
What if I was to take both wheels off and put the peddlewheeler on top of a horse?

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)17:33:28 No.36784174

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)17:33:28 No.36784174

This thread is a special kind of stupid, but I'm having a hard time not laughing, mostly because my party would have almost this exact discussion if I introduced bikes.
Continue.

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)18:04:16 No.36784725

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)18:04:16 No.36784725

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>>36783682
No problem!
Just use the area indicated instead, don't forget to use the pedals!

A Salesdwarf
12/15/14(Mon)18:12:17 No.36784883

A Salesdwarf 12/15/14(Mon)18:12:17 No.36784883

>>36784098
I believe it would fall off

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)18:57:58 No.36785872

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)18:57:58 No.36785872

>>36783496
Tell me, how does the pedal wheeler fare in uneven terrain? I seek to kill Lord Grimsbane, and the region around his tower is rough and hellish place

Anonymous
12/15/14(Mon)20:31:49 No.36787704

Anonymous 12/15/14(Mon)20:31:49 No.36787704

>>36783496
Can I hitch a wagon to it?