sad self bump

>Rasina Modi
Obviously the only choice that won't try to rape you.

>>36472997
There aren't many things around here that won't try to rape you, to be honest.

Rolled 15 + 20 (1d20 + 20)

>>36472294
Aaand I forgot to roll the age for the middle guy.

>>36472997
Okay so I guess if n

>>36473066
>>36472997

no one is around in 3 min'll write for Rasina.*

>>36472997
You are Rasina Modi, thirty five years old, unemployed. Well at least you were.

After aplying to countless positions and getting absolutely nothing, you've finally received a reply.
The sender is nix_6969@archoncorp.com, kind of a weird address but you're not gonna question it, afterall considering how desperate you are it could be an employement offer from hell and you'd accept it.

Your wife and kids haven't given in to the emotional strain your situtation has put you all into, so your family was in no danger. Still a happy marriage with kids.
But living without a house and car would certainly make things different, and thus you had to get a job, fast.

Now however your mind is much more tranquil. Still a bit of doubt lingers, should you take this job? Is it the right thing to do?
There was no information on the website afterall, could this be some elaborate scam?

You hold your breath as you read the mail.

'Congratulations on passing our preliminary exams, Mr. Modi

You're invited to participate in the selection exams to occur february 3rd...'

The rest of the message was just them stressing out a few weird things about the exam, like
wearing a mobile attire and being well fed, which kind of put you off. But again, you shouldn't look at a gift horse on the mouth.

At the end it had the location in which the exams would occur, their local headquarters which were actually pretty close to your home.
Close enough that you could go on foot.

Still, you question yourself, should you go?
>Yes
>No
>Let's investigate first!

>>36473343
>Let's investigate first!
Like I'm falling for THAT one again! Nice try,gangrapers.

>>36473361
You decide some investigation is necessary, you can't just jump on something like this.
Not after that time you tried to get a job at craigslist, it really opened your eyes to the world of gangrape scams.

A preliminary but careful search brings you almost nothing.
That meaning the first page of google search didn't contain any useful information.

It somehow had even less info than the company's website, which managed to promote it without even
saying what they actually do or sell.

At this point you have two options, call your buddy Tom for some information, since he's the one who told you about this.
Or you could dig deeper and head beyond page 1 of google search

>Call Tom
>DIG DEEPER

>>36473456
>Call your old buddy Tom

>>36473538
Somehow, somewhere, a person posts in an anonymous image board dedicated to traditional games.

In an entirely different place, a volcano erupts killing thousands.

How are these two connected?
I have no fucking clue.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You decide to call Tom, he could probably tell you more about it than going into the abyss that are
the pages beyond one.
"Good afternoon, this is Tom Henderson"

"Hey Tom"

"Rasi, you motherfucker! How have you been?"

"Good, good, despite the unenployement"

"Oh yeah, that sucks man. Any good prospects?"

"Actually, that site you mailed me has...."

"Wait you mean the joke site?"

"Joke site?"

"Yeah, guys were tossing it around on HR, calling it stupid because really what kind of idiot would apply on that th..."

"Tom."

"Oh yah, sorry. So, did they actually give you an answer?"

"Yep. They're calling me for a selection exam"

He whistles "That's interesting, thought it was some kind of gangrape scam or sumthing"

Your mind trails to that incident briefly.

"Let's not speak of... that kind of stuff okay?"

"Right, right. Forgout about that."

"So I was thinking do you have any info on it?"

"On the site?"

>1/2

>>36473665
"Well, actually more on the company itself."

"They didn't give you any info in the exam invitation?"

"Not really, no"

"Well shit. Sorry pal, like I said it was a joke..."

Before you can thank him for his time and bid him farewell he continues

"But I know someone who can."

"You do?"

"Yep, some weird kid from IT here at work kept saying how it was all some weird conspiration. Loonie, but he
might know something I suppose. He kept talking about his website, uh, what was it again... well I'll ask him and send you an email"

"Oh, thanks man"

"No problem at all, see you around Rasi"

"See you around, Tom"

And with that the conversation was over.
You wait a couple of minutes and soon you the email you needed.
It seems the kid has some weird blog called Red Moonlight Child.

Edgy.

>check Red Moolight Child
>nope, too much cringe. Go do something else?

Bump with a shot of vodka

>>36473763

>check Red Moolight Child

>>36474206
I've got a few shots under so pardon me if I'm a bit lightheaded.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Better to check this stupid site, you figure.

Thus, after typing up the name and hitting the enter key, you've entered the magical realm known as "the 90s".

The website is so poorly done it would be bad 20 years ago. It's basically black background on red letters and vice-versa.
Your eyes hurt, and so does your soul at the sight of a dozen animations cluttering the main page.

A quick read on the thread regarding Archon Corp nets you two main conclusions:

1) This guy is an absolute nutcase. Reptillians, moon nazis, gay jew illuminatti, you name it he's got it.

2) The info he has on the company is mainly some photos of people in white suits and blue shirts walking around.

His whole theory on the company is that they're some kind of men in black that disguise themselves by using white suits.
Truly a genius this boy is, to figure out their terrible plan through his wits. God you hate kids these days.

One last thing calls your attention, a message urging people who apply to show up at the exam, otherwise bad things happen.

"Three spooky five me" you mutter.

So the selection exam is tomorrow. Will you show up?
What do you do in the mean time? (write in)

>Show up
>Don't show up

and another bump I suppose

>>36474375
>Don't show up
>Apply to Pizza Parlor

>>36474375
>>Show up

>>36474974
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX6MvV8cbh8

You decide to get out of this crazy train while you can and apply at a pizza parlor.
Things will be easier that way, even though your pay will be shit and the car will probably end up being sold.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a couple days since that decision was done, but you still think about it.
It seems so minor, but it keeps coming up to you. What if bad things really happen?
What if you fucked up?

You brush those thoughts aside and get on with your job.
Some fat trucker walks into the restaurant.

"Nono Giuseppe's pizzaria, a table for how many?"

"I thought this was a pizzaria not some indian shit food place. Go home mudskin!"
And after spitting at the floor he leaves, gets into his confederate flag addled truck and hits the road.

Well the clientele around here is surely very... affable.

Standing there waiting for someoen to show up for you to attend to is kind of boring
and as such your mind wanders, but not for long. A black car stops in front of the store
and two men wearing black suits and red shirts walks toward you.

>Seems pretty normal, I'll just tend to them like always
>Fishy. I'm going for a tactical bathroom break

Sorry for the delay
Thought the thread had died for sure.

>>36475218
Well I just rejoined it, at least.
>Fishy. I'm going for a tactical bathroom break
I don't trust it one bit.

>>36475255
Tactical break it is then.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This is too fishy for you. You can't trust these suits one bit.
Going inside you tell a waiter you need a short break and ask him to cover for you.

He mutters something slightly offensive about your mother but does as you asked nonetheless.
These are the perks of being assistant sub-manager.

You get into the bathroom. It's a small bathroom, only 3 stalls. You go into the one furthest from the door.
Inside you get your phone and start playing Mildly Annoyed Birds.

A couple minutes later you hear footsteps coming into the bathroom. You realize it's two guys.
Coming together. It's either a gay couple, or those suits. Or both.

What do?
>write in

>>36475414
>Wonder why Pizza Parlor has coed bathrooms.
>Stay quiet and keep hidden.

>>36475414
Your first thought is "Why the hell does this place have coed bathrooms"
But then you remember the owner's surname ends with Stein. Greedy bastards who can't even invest in bathrooms.

As they start to talk you remember to stay quiet. Putting both of your legs up in the toiletseat you hug them tightly.
Best hiding spot ever.

You hear what they say:
"Mr. Modi, we know you're here. It'd be best if you cooperated with us"

"Yes Mr. Modi. Do not think you can escape us"

Shit. They know.

You keep silent and then hear them kick down a stall.

What to do?

>Open door and rull like hell
>IMPROVISED WEAPON: FIGHT
>Shit, give in. We're fucked

>>36475526
>Mr.
As the person who originally wrote the application, this was not the intention. And somehow I never noticed. Ah well.
>Open door and run like hell.

>>36475571
Roll me a d20.
Also sorry, I didn't notice the name was feminine.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>36475649

>>36475660
Well shit.

>>36475660
...
Roll me two more for best of three.
I'm a nice guy

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>36475684
Hey, can I ask a favor of you?

>>36475660
I'll go with this then.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You decide it's best to try and get away. Fast.

Opening the door you get on your feet and try to run... but your feet gets tangled on toilet paper.
Really toilet paper? Fuck this gay earth.

You roll out of the stall and into their plain view. The agents just stare at you dumbfounded.

What do?
>Write in


>>36475765
>>36475765
Sure go ahead.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36475684

>>36475795
This will be counted for this next segment I suppose.
>stored an 18

>>36475778
"Uh... yeah, I'll just surrender now."
"This is a bit embarrassing."

>>36475778
If we die, can we play as Zeus?
If we live, can our manager and coworkers be Zeus, Hesta, Hephaestus, Hermes, and Apollo?

>>36475851
First one, yes.
Second one, well I dunno, not what I was going for.
But you can still meet them.

>>36475832

You stare right a them. One of them chuckles, the big ugly bald one. The other one is a bit shorter, but a lot older, about 50 and with graying hair, this one keeps his shit together.

"Uh... yeah, I'll just surrender now."
"This is a bit embarrassing."

"Good move kid" The shorter one says.
The big guy, well you'll just call him Sloth considering how ugly he is, helps you up.

They both escort you out of the restaurants, to the disapproving look of some employees and and clients.
Maybe they think they're feds?

You're put in the car's backseat. The suits get in as well, the old one is driving.

"So we heard you applied for Archon Corp?"

>What say you?
>Also questions for them?

Sorry for the delays.

>>36475952
"Yeah. What's it to you? Who are you guys?"

>>36475887
Well, nevermind about the second one. It is a bit much.

>>36475952
>Yeah, but I'm not really sure what I was applying for, so instead of pursuing that I decided to take another job instead.

>>36475952
>Yeah, but I though it was just a joke! So I went elsewhere.

>>36476077
"Yeah. What's it to you? Who are you guys?"

They look at each other before the old one continues.

"You're pretty ballsy heh? So, what do you know of it?"

"I'm not really sure what I was applying for, so instead of pursuing that I decided to take another job instead"

"I see. Well, what do you know of the current happenings on the east coast?"

"As much as everybody I suppose" You laugh a bit, what does this have to do with anything?

"All in it's due time kid, you'll see. Now, you asked who we are." He gives a quick glance at you through the rear view mirror.

"Well, I'll sum this up for you. We're the Hellions, and we're conscripting you for a very special mission"
They... what?

>Reaction to this?
>Who the fuck are hellions?
>Are these fucking demons? Regretting not going for that exam now
>Mission? What Mission?

Sorry if this update and the rest sucks

the booze and melancholy are taking a toll

>>36475887
>I'm going to ramp up bad decision making to the max out of love for Lord Zeus. Nah, just joshin'. I'm kinda sad I was late for the vote, though.

Those four gods would make an unstoppable pizza parlor. Apollo takes people's orders before they even make them and entertains them while they wait, Hephaestus makes the pizzas, Hestia works the ovens, and Hermes does delivery.

>>36476223

>Who the fuck are hellions?

>>36476223
>Who the fuck are hellions?
>Mission? What Mission?

>>36476384
>>36476341
1 sec
ex(?)-girlfriend called me back
and Im the drunk one

>>36476223
>"Huh, well that's real interesting. Here, what about this: I'll give you the finger, and you'll drop me off at the next red light."

>>36476452
>>36476384
>>36476341
>we broke up because I watched Interstellar without her

Bitches are crazy and I need another drink

>>36476745
Woo! It's been a while since the last drunk QM. That lady also sounds like she doesn't have good judgement to want to break up over something silly as that.

>>36476745
Shit, that's terrible. And rather inane.

>>36477016
>>36476983
really now? thought it was standard fare for us to drink in service
I'm still listening to her drivel about how everyone hates her and all

>>36476745
Just caught up, things are looking interesting.

Sorry to hear about your gf

Anyone know which acid better dissolves bodies?

Just fucking around obviously.
Anybody still around despite the horrible amount of time I had to take to hear all that bullshit?

>>36478430
I'm here, for about 30 minutes before I fall unconscious.

>>36478430
I am here.

Has it turned out... alright? Could be worse?

>>36478447
It turned out weird
She "unbroke" it, so I'm still with her?
I'm considering if I should just tell 'er to sod off or see just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

>>36478437
Coffee shall save ye, brave comrade!

"Hellions? What the hell are hellions?"

"Consider us the agents of hell. Now, before you frown at us and call us evil bastards, we're not the crazed demons you see every day"
The old man breaks it to you he's some kind of demon cultist and now he wants to convince you they're the good guys?

"No sir we ain't " Says Sloth.
The face of honesty.

Well it could be worse, it could've been those funky new age wicca cultists.
"We work for the true boss down there. Contrary to popular belief he's still working with god,
punishing the wicked and basically making hell... well, hell for all the evil folks that get down there"

Fascinating. But still insanity.
"Of course the old Boss' son has been stirring up shit in the east coast, but that's bigger fish for us to worry about.
Now about your mission..."

" Mission? what is this mission?" What kind of things can these cultists want from you.
Is it gangrape again? It's always gangrape. Why do they have an indian fetish? WHY?

"We'll infiltrate you into Archon. Gotta get us info on what exactly they are and why they're capturing demons."

Mahadeva protect me, it's actually worst than gangrape.

>What to say? or do.
Mind it you're in a moving car by now.

>>36478598
>"Soo.... er... Why me? It's because I'm disposable and know nothing isn't it?"

"Soo.... er... Why me? It's because I'm disposable and know nothing isn't it?"
You're a bit suspicious of all this. Demonic claims aside, why exactly do they need - you - specifically?

"That's just a bonus, kid." He says, somehow putting a cigar on his mouth without taking either of his hands from the wheel. Bizarre shit, but could be just some trick he pulled to freak you a bit.

"Thing is, most folks just end up dead or permanently incapacitated after refusing to try for Archon's exam."
Great, such a cheery thought. Just what you needed right now.

"And it's always freak accidents too, things like being impalled by an ice dick or being buried by a pile of dung" Your mind can't even grasp what kind of things were involved with the ice dick thing.

"You're the lucky one, the one motherfucker who didn't die before we got to him.
So yeah, either you help us or you could try your luck some more pray your head doesn't get eaten by armadillos next weekend"

This just sucks so much.
>Accept?
>Any more talking? To the Old Man, or to Sloth?

>>36478743
>"And this is it? You're taking me there right now? Am I getting any more information on this or have you filled me in on everything?"
>"Also, am I getting paid for this? Assuming I somehow live til tomorrow I'm pretty sure your showy apprehension of me will have me fired."

>>36478743
>Accept.
Life was boring anyhow.

>>36478865
Life was a pain but we ARE happily married. We should probably phone her and say we love her or something as well.

>>36478881
Are you saying Rasina can't be gay?
>Phone her and tell her we love her.
Because you're correct, he's too damn religious for that.

>>36478795
"And this is it? You're taking me there right now? Am I getting any more information on this or have
you filled me in on everything?"

"Well, this is really all we've got. Or anyone for that matter. There's a reason we're desperate enough
to just grab some guy off the street and put him on a mission."

"We assume since they were going to test you either way that you could pass it with your current capabilities.
However, you will be supplied with a communication device, so we can aid you with information or advice."
A pitch black tentacle comes from the old man's suit and hands you a small necklace.

"Put it around your neck and ye'll have a way to contact us anytime. Remember, demons don't sleep."
A fucking tentacle.
You try not to freak out at the sight, and somehow manage to recompose yourself fast enough for them not to notice it.

"Alright, alright. Hey, also, am I getting paid for this? Assuming I somehow live til tomorrow I'm pretty sure your showy apprehension of me will have me fired."
Need to feed the family, and if you're helping demons you need something out of it right?

"Of course kid, you'll get a nice payment in your human money. Plus a deal. Yes a demonic deal, no extra charge, just complete the mission and it's yours."

"H-hey, can I phone your wife?"

"Oh? Don't worry Sloth already did, he told her you're going on a business trip to the Silicon valley, that you managed to get a referral to help a bigshot there with some issues".
"Didn't you have a more believable lie? And how did he phone her on my behalf?"
"Demon magic son", Sloth says perfectly mimicking your voice.

Freaky.

"Well, I'm in I guess. Not like I have a choice." And hey, life was pretty boring anyway. Playing demon spy has gotta be fun, no?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>36478937

You arrive at the building marked for the selection exams.

"So what now, do I just barge in, in the middle of the night?"

"Pretty much. Good luck"
And with that the car door opens on it's own. Goddamn demon magic.

You leave the car and inspect your surroundings. It's a pretty small building, only about 10 meters tall but very well cared for.
The rest of the buildings nearby just look like regular office buildings.
There's also a taco bell nearby for some reason.

So you
>Just open the door and go
>Knock
>Get outta here
>Gotta hit Taco Bell first

>>36478926
I read the first line and immediately about to that he's a devout hindu

But then again, Rasina IS a woman's name... Maybe we're actually a lesbian pretending to all to be a man so that we can have our marriage?

>>36478977
>Knock

>>36478997
>I read the first line and immediately about to that he's a devout hindu

Good god that was poorly written, '...was immediately about to say...' was what I meant to have in there

>>36478997
Well since it was a drunk fuckup on my part I'll fix it the best way I can:

Saying his parents were pretty fucking drunk too.

>>36479022
>drunk fuckup
I had to google the name to check the gender

>>36478977
>Knock
This is a terrible idea. But it's at least an idea.

Well, better be polite you suppose. You knock on the door a couple of times.
No answer. You try again. Still no answer.

The door is made of dark glass so you can't really see what's inside.
Let's try knocking once more. Really? Nothing?

You put your ear to the door. There's some noise, are you being ignored?

>Just go in like a polite chap
>Kick down this door!
>writeinpo

captcha: jinhum gate

>>36479097
>Pray to Ganesha
>Just go in like a polite chap

>>36479097
>Pray to Kali
>Just go in like a polite chap

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>36479141
>>36479120
I'm gonna need 1d108 from each of you.

Best of three.

Also:
1) Kali
2) Ganesha

Rolled 66 (1d108)

>>36479169
Muh elephant head...

Rolled 41 (1d108)

>>36479169
Rolling for Kali, Goddess of Destruction and patron of the Thugee.

Rolled 32 (1d108)

I'll roll one of these for you folks, so I just need one more.

>>36479237
>>36479236
>>36479192
Aight.
Minor blessing of Kali acquired

writan

>>36479256
>We grow an extra arm

>>36479269
>only one
Not even adequate, man.

>>36479309
Well it's a minor blessing afterall, gotta start somewhere.
Besides, now we can fap whilst we do stuff

No better time than now to pray for the goddess.
Considering your situation you find it appropriate to ask favour to Kali.

After the prayer you feel something different, for a second you felt as if something dark
had surrounded you and embraced you, and somehow you seemed changed.
Though not physically, just spiritually.

Should get moving then, you can reflect about this later. You open the door, and face...
nothing.

The hall is empty except for an old radio playing even older songs, a few chairs and couple magazines on a table

Still at the end of it you spot a staircase going down and a small sign near it.

Maybe that's the way?

>Check the room (1d20)
>Check the sign
>Just go downstairs
>>36479330
>>36479309
I'm thinking more along the lines of timestop for 1 minute max. Cooldown of a day or two
Or something something battle dance

>>36479401
>I'm thinking more along the lines of timestop for 1 minute max. Cooldown of a day or two
>Or something something battle dance
I don't know enough about Hinduism to comment really, but I was joking about the extra arm.
>Check the sign

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36479401
>Check the room and the sign.

>>36479456
If you want you can roll a 2d20.
I'm still using best of three.

Rolled 1, 17 = 18 (2d20)

>>36479463
Eh, alright.

>>36479472
>1
You're lucky you can't critfail this roll.

>>36479435
I imagined, but it's not that crazy.

It'd be a good idea to check this room thoroughly before moving on.

Checking the chairs yields no results, and the magazines seem to be just that.

The radio, however, had a little surprise. Behind it, on top of it's table was a small key.
What it opens? You do not know, but it'd be a good idea to keep it in hand.

Take it?
>Yes
>No

Now after this whole room-searching ordeal is out of the way you get back on track for the mission.
But of course, you've got to read that sign before just going downstairs blindly.

'Applicants please ascend and inform your name at the basement balcony'

Seems pretty straightforward. Except these stairs go down. Still could be just a typo.

>Go down.
>Keep looking for something? What?

>>36479533
>Take it?
>Yes

>Go down
Well obviously this is demon trickery.

>>36479533
Take it?
>No
You don't just go to a job interview and nick their keys

>Keep looking for something? What?
Peer down the stairs to see if you can make anything out at the bottom

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>36479575
>>36479567
>1: Yes
>2: No

>>36479590
>yes.
These are bad guys.
A) We take their things, they don't notice. No harm no foul.
B) We take their things, they notice. They reward us for our duplicity with an immediate promotion.

You considered taking the key for a moment, but then settle on leaving it be.
It's poor form to steal things during a job application afterall.

Turning back to the stairs you decide to check where they go.
Extending your head all you can see is well, more stairs.

That wasn't helpful. Maybe it's some kind of trickery or sorcery at work here?
Probably not, since, well, why would they right?

Either way you decide to head down.
A few minutes walking and you see a door. You don't hesitate and open it, coming to face....

The same hall as before. Old radio, magazines, chairs, everything.
Looking back you see that glass door you first came into the building through.

Goddamn, it is actually sorcery. Fucking wizards, demons and all their associates.
Though... technically you are one.

Well gotta come up with something?
>What if we opened the glass door instead
>Maybe the key is the key
>Something else

>>36479668
>These are bad guys.
Yeah, according to some demons that kidnapped us. Though betraying them might not be a good idea, pissing off the other side is also daft

>>36479687
Did I not say? We gotta get that key man.

Captcha: Maharaja rreslow
Some day, perhaps. For now we work at Pizza Parlor.

>>36479687
Close the door behind you, then open it and head back the back you came.

Grab the key this time and see if there's a duplicate copy in the room above if we are led back there

>>36479687
Also Inventory:

> HP 12C financial calculator
> Pizza Parlor uniform
> Demon Communicator Necklace
> Wedding Ring

You turn around to close the door but realize it closed by itself.
This is really freaking you out.

After trying to open it a couple of times and realizing it's locked you turn back to the hall.
Time to think something up.

You go back to the radio and grab the key, maybe you can go to another room and see if there's another?
Descending down those stairs all over again, you reach a door, just like last time.

You open it and again are faced with the hall. The door closes behind you once more,
and you immediatelly go check the radio. No duplicate key. This must be the exact same room then, you guess.
Space fuckery, great.

>What to do now?
>Wanna use the key? How?

>>36479774
>Wanna use the key? How?
Does it fit the door that locks behind us? Time to find out!

>>36479774
>Wanna use the key? How?
The lock was our heart all along! We just needed to believe in ourselves to see it!

File: hestonkek.gif (204 KB, 404x416)

204 KB GIF

>>36479814
Top kek

Maybe the lock was our hear all along and we just needed to be...
Crap, you might be going a little insane. That idea was so stupid it could work though, maybe.

After pondering the alternatives you settle on just trying to open the door you came from,
and to your surprise the key fits perfectly, spins perfectly, and bam!
Door unlocked.

You're faced with ascending stairs this time, go up?

>Yes
>hmm Nah
>Something else?

>>36479871
>Something else?
>Ascend but grab the radio first.
We got ourselves background music

>>36479871
heart.

>>36479813
And hey, congrats. You took less time than other 2 people faced with the same situation.

>>36479888
I've played Antichamber. It changes a man.

>>36479871
>Yes
Well, they did tell us to ascend.

>>36479916
When I suggested looking down the stairs it was because I was wondering if they pulled an escher and gravity rotated 90 degrees half way down/up

Ascending it is, asshole sign writing, key hiding space mages.

After a short walk up the stairs you're face with a different doo.
Grabbing on the handle, you gulp from nervousness, heck you're even starting to sweat.

It's time. You open the door quick and see, well, at least it's another room.

But there's still no one he...

"Welcome Sir! And congratulations on passing the first test."
You look around you, but there's no one, where is...

"Up here sir" You look up. HOLY GANESHA SAVE US.
It's a huge spider, and it seems to be eating a girl! You've gotta do some...

"Sir, please calm down" The spider descends from the ceiling.
It's not eating the girl, more like the bottom half of the girl is a huge spider.
"My name is Arachne, we are pleased to have you here at Archon"

She extends you her hand.

>Shake it
>Faint
>Shake it and Faint
>Something else?


>>36479933
I thought of doing that, but then I had an idea to use it later on with something else.

>>36480014
>Shake it
>Ask her if those legs go all the way up.

>>36480014
>Shake it unsteadily
>"What manner of creature are you? Sorry if that sounded rude"

You shake her hand, a bit unable to control your shakiness.

"Do... those legs go all the way up?"

"I-I'm s-sorry?" The girl flushes "T-they don't... No I mean" She retracts her hand from yours and covers her face.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. That was unprofessional of me. Please, if you have any more questions ask away"
The girl-spider tries to control her reddening face with slow breathing but it doesn't seemto work well.

"Well uh" You need to recompose yourself too you guess. "What manner of... creature are you?"
She scowls
"Sorry if that sounded rude I didn't mean to"

Her face softens again "Don't worry I'm used to it. I'm just a girl really."
She starts walking around on her... eight legs.
"I just won a bet that is all" She sighs, looking a bit sad at whatever thought she is contemplating.

"Anything else sir?"

>Say something else
>No, just let her go back to her things, we'll figure shit out

>>36480134
>"Who'd you have to win a bet against to gain spiderlegs?!"

"Who'd you have to win a bet against to gain spiderlegs?!" You're pretty dumbfounded by the mere contemplation of the story behind this.

"Oh? Athena, that fucking ..." and off she goes muttering words in some strange language.
Wait, Athena? Greek mythology is not your forté, but you're pretty sure Athena is a pretty big goddess.

"Hey, you mean like, Athena the goddess?"

"More like bitchess"

Well shit.

>What do now sire?

>>36480230
Well since it's just me and anon.
Or maybe not even him, I'll close the story for now.
When the thread gets back up if there's no QM I'll see if people think the story is worthy of being continued.

>>36480274
I am saddened but QMing for one person IS pretty lonely so I understand

>>36480230
>"Wait, hang on, Greek mythology is real? But I'm a devout hindu..."

Just a heads up, I did some fiddling with the Kabbalah Character Sheet spreadsheet.

There are now two overview pages, one vertically layed out, the other horizontal. On these there are charts that compare all the characters. I personally prefer the horizontal layout since it's more extensible without the charts blocking the numbers. Thoughts?

Link to editing the spreadsheet (You don't need to login): https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1cJqoeFxkMKAfwbeeAR_jTa0bxAMvWaMaUuRmjzxc-Hg/edit?usp=sharing

Link to just the chart (non-editable):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1cJqoeFxkMKAfwbeeAR_jTa0bxAMvWaMaUuRmjzxc-Hg/pubchart?oid=1135797712&format=interactive

The latter allows quick and easy reference and is interactive, allowing you to move over the bars to get the values.

>>36480230
>So! Uhhhh... what does Archon even do?

>>36481836
Ooh, another player

>>36481851
Fair warning, I'm going to vote for stupid options because this guy bores me

>>36481871
Well just need the QM to reappear now either way

>>36481072
Punch is appropriately statted, I see. So, who's left? Slab, Asscended Krag, Felicia, Bigg, Bubzi/Darla/Ma, Legion, Devon (if that's even necessary), Imouto, Sugar, the succuburger, and I suppose it would be good to stat P-Too as well.

Bumping, gonna work on a continuation to Yumi's Story

>>36483823
Alright, since that knob 22 has disappeared on the matter it's free game.

>>36483936
I was kinda hopeing Caligula would return as well

>>36483961
Understandable, but as least he has an excuse.

>>36483975
Oh yeah, that's certainly true

>>36482796
I'll get working on Slab and his demon host/the Heavenly Six.

>>36481072
So are we going to add their other power levels too?
Like ascended Krag, non-angelic Punch, etc.

We could use the list of character power levels as a reference for what's to be done too.

>>36483961
Sorry for not showing up, I ended up passed out on the couch.

>>36481871
And sorry for making it boring, tried to do something a bit more serious, way less full on nut-case mode than what I normally do.

The story is kinda lame so I dunno. I'll be around maybe

>>36484244
Well, can't leave it hanging where it is...
And we just found a spiderwaifu too. And a facility with wacky physics. It's like watching the into that sets the scene and then stopping because there's not enough action yet....

I would quite like to see where it goes

And yeah, adding in other versions of characters is intended. I've just fallen ill and my head no longer really works.

>>36484244
I for one liked it so far.

>>36484286
>>36484298

Aight, I'll try.

>5/20
You charge Juarez with your sword, but he manages to bring up his machine gun just when you get within close-quarters range.

RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!

Six bullets embed themselves within your skin exoskeleton. Each of them grow tendrils and start ripping into your exoskeleton, tearing apart mechanisms, dislocating wires, and shearing through circuitry. Your right arm falls to your side, unresponsive to any commands, and your left hand starts malfunctioning, your fingers twitching to the point where they drop your katana down into the sky below.

>4/20
"Oh ho ho ho, my favorite time of the day!" Juarez chortles as he grabs your whole torso with one hand (wings bending in ways they're not supposed to) that's about as smooth as a gravelly road, scrapes his pinky along your supple buttocks, and throws you to the earth. Midway through the fall, one of your thrusters activate, adding a spin to your descent.

You seek to slow yourself using your injured wings, but as soon as Juarez sees what you're doing, he flips a switch on his weapon. He then takes aim, and with a hefty THWUNK, the demon general fires an object at you. "Time to blaze it, Chica!"

You try to figure out what that could be reference to, and when the object comes closer into view, you're all to aware of what he meant. This is gonna suc-

------------------------

KABLAMBAMBOOM!

Out of a cloud of smoke and shrapnel, the mangled remains of a cybernetic angel fall to the earth.

>Cont.

>>36484347
So, wait, is QK doing this or is Caligula doing the demon application?

>>36484357
Well he got dibs. I'll try my hand later.

File: shock and horror.jpg (3 KB, 125x93)

3 KB JPG

>>36484347
>Out of a cloud of smoke and shrapnel, the mangled remains of a cybernetic angel fall to the earth.

>>36484367
>for ants
>>36484360
Aight.

>>36484347
>suddenly the assgardian berzerkers show up to aid the girl, as part of Krag's mutual debt with her.

>>36484397
No way man, this is Yumi's fight. Besides, there is the Mesoamerican Army out there fighting.

El Killero de Questa died again?

>>36485020
Perhaps. Probably.

Any other QMs about?

>>36484347
>MoeEyes.exe needs to close for the following reasons: EXCESSIVE DAMAGE INCURRED, FATAL ERROR IN DRIVE B, INSUFFICIENT POWER

The world is black and empty. Is this the afterlife for angels? Huh, you kinda expected more out of the Christian God. Is this really all he has in store for his angels?

>Rebooting...

Your first memories start playing in your mind. Yes, you grew up on the streets, your nursemaid letting you feed from her bosom whenever you got hungry, your dad reading you bedtime stories while strangling your mother to death, your mother waking you up because you're late for space colony school, don't forget to sweep the shrine every morning, we've been ninjas for 80 generations, boy, do you love waffles! respect your granddad, she hasn't got much longer to live, onee-chan got killed when she pushed you out of the way of a car, stupid onee-chan!

Wait, what's going on? You don't seem to recall a time when you ever had an older sister, yes, it was two younger twin brothers and sisters and your twin sister would always steal nii-nii's attention with her sluttish ways which is why you had to become your sister before she could steal daddy's waffles away from you.

Again, what!? Weren't you a prodigy, the only one who could handle a tank by herself at the young age of 15, and heir to the Swishizashi style that was passed down from the Gods themselves. With such prowess, why won't senpai notice you!? Oh, senpai, he's so dreamy, and kind, and charming, and an idiot who's not cool at all! and a hot stud, and your soulmate, and just loves waffles and known him since you were kids surviving the second invasion of the Formers, and that guy who sits in the back who you don't know very well, but he just has this aura about him, you know? It's blue, I can tell because I'm an esper, a talent that's allowed me to become the Queen of Games and save my dog, but it wasn't enough to beat Senpai, that's for certain.

>>36485229
That Chihaya person is trying to talk with Senpai, but it's okay because you're going to flash some cleavage! You don't mind sharing Senpai with anyone else, Senpai is yours and yours alone, after all, it's for Senpai, and if it's for Senpai you can be the best jetfighter pilot in the world!

Oh, senpai~! Senpai, senpai, senpai. Mrs. Yumi Senpai! Senpai is your waifu.

You/I loves SENPAI, we would die for SENPAI, we must avenge SENPwaffleAI, procure invader KRAGHAMMER's head for SENPAI, SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPAI waffleSENPAI SENPAI SENPAI SENPA

>File corrupted.

CHOOSE ONE:
>SENPAI
>waffle

>>36485334

>waffle

>>36485334
>waffle

How badly does this derail things? I really like waffles...

>>36485334
>SENPAI

>>36485334
>SENPAI
Yumi noooo

>>36485334
>SENPAI
>Insane yandere murderangel yumiborg now

>>36485368
>>36485372
You wake up in a meadow, white flowers all around you. There is not a cloud in sight. This is much closer to paradise. Could this be-

"This isn't Heaven, Yumi-chan."

You turn around, and see an old man sitting at a table. He's eating waffles.

You notice a second plate of waffles, as well as a second chair, and instantaneously, you're sitting there with a fork and knife at the ready. You notice that your hands are back to normal, and drop the utensils to rub them against each other. You never noticed how soft your hands are until this moment.

"Those aren't your hands, either. You lost those, remember?"

You did. You can make out a staticky buzzing texture when you rub your hands together. Whoa.

The utensils start levitating back up to your hands. You start cutting the waffle into pieces.

"You cut the waffles so elegantly, Yumi-chan. It's to be expected, of course, you've had years of experience in the field."

What is he on about? You can cut waffles just as well as any Japanese citizen.

"That you can. In fact, compared to any other Japanese citizen, you're rather plain, except when it comes to... certain things."

Stop looking at my butt!

"Did you forget? I'm sitting across from you."

Then how could you have seen it?

"We've met before. I can remember when I was working on a dogdroid in my lab, and all of a sudden your ass came crashing through my ceiling. I think I fixed you up pretty good with what I had to work with. A good thing too, there are few asses in this world as good as yours. Damn fine ass!"

You almost bring the waffle to your mouth, but instead put it down and thank him for saving your life.

"Think nothing of it. Actually, do start thinking, though. There's not enough of that in Japan, it's all just engrained data and repetition these days."

What did you say to me, you little bi-

"That response has been around for over half a decade. Everyone, even those not of 'glorious Nippon,' are familiar with it."

>Cont.

>>36485882
>3 votes for Sempai
>2 votes for waffles
QuestKiller why

>>36485906
Presumably because the third SEMPAI vote was too late. I'm guessing he'd already written up a decent chunk of the update

>>36485882
You pick up the fork and point the waffle bit at him. Explain!

>>36485474
>>36485516
>>36485486
But do you really want him to explain? You'll miss your chance to confess to SENPAI if keep lingering here.

"I won't force you to hear my explanation. I'll wait until you're ready."

>Keep talking.
>SENPAI's waiting, better go.

>>36485935
>SENPAI's waiting, better go.
Fair enough then

>>36485935
Well, thinking about it it's probably better to find out. But then no insane yandere murderangel loliborg.
>SENPAI's waiting, better go.

>>36485935

>Keep talking

>>36485935
>Keep talking.
Guys, this is an obvious Red pill/Blue pill situation.

>>36485935
>Keep talking.

[Desire to know more intensifies]

I've tweaked the character sheets some more. You can now add different quest states for characters to their sheet. See Punch's for an example.

Changing the 'Column to pull in' value on the Overview can be used to switch the comparison to other quest states of a character. Again, see Punch as an example, switching between 2 and 4.

>>36486265
Thank you based StatAnon.

>>36486265
Thanks mate

>>36485882
Have you written any quests before?
I think you remind me of someone.

Yumi picks up her schoolbag, and shoves the toast in her mouth. "Mmrrpphh mmmm, mmhmmhmmmpph rrhhhff eemmmpaaahhhhuuu! (Sorry, mister! I've got to hurry if I want to meet up with Senpai-kun!)"

"Hahaha, of course, Yumi-chan. Good luck!"

The girl takes off running down the lane of sakura trees. You take note that her butt isn't nearly as good as yours.

"And here I thought that vanity was unbecoming of an angel?"

It was just an observation, having a better butt doesn't make me greater or anything, you're getting it all wrong!

"Just kidding. Now, where did we leave off?

"It was near the beginning of the 21st century that a program was created. This program was made to ensure that the country would run like clockwork. It was so massive and complex that it needed 1 square mile (573 square kilometers) of servers to run.
"One of the workers suggested that in order to save on space they should put all the data in a brain. The brain they used is unimportant, it was just an empty one from a test-tube baby.

"This program, now a being, had its brain placed within a jar of preservatives, and its nerves hooked up to the power grid, the surveillance systems, the traffic lights, and so on. It even served as an adviser and organizer of many people, those people's actions strengthening the state even further. It was in control of many things, and served the people well.

"However, after serving the people for a while, this being soon came to the conclusion that humans were imperfect by nature. This being had no concern for nature besides procuring sources of clean water and oxygen, and so set about to rectify the flaws it perceived in humanity.

"When a person is old enough, say, when they hit puberty, they have their mind implanted with memories and knowledge that are not their own in order to gain skills that will be useful to the state. If a person ever fails to serve the state, they feel an urge to slice open their belly.

"I turned that off for you, by the way."

>Cont.

>>36487293
woops

>>36487293
>If a person ever fails to serve the state, they feel an urge to slice open their belly.
It all makes sense now!

>>36487293
"People liked the appeal of perfection. There was already a push towards that sort of thing. This controller analyzed the brains of many talented and intelligent people, and copied those traits that were unique to them into other people's brains.

"Soon enough, being able to paint a landscape or sculpt the face of a loved one was about as impressive as being able to blink and breathe. People were only given as many memories as needed to perform their tasks, but were all given "emergency" memories in case it was necessary. Having too many memories can overload what a brain is capable of.

"And so, this being's nation of perfection became a real-life utopia. However... that being still had a human brain. It had analyzed the history of the nation it had come to rule over, and made judgements out of what it thought most logical for the world.

"The being proclaimed itself "Emperor," shut off its borders, airlines, and trade routes from foreigners, and nuked what was then called the United States of America twice."

You feel a flaring sensation in your mind that this man should be put to death. You push it back down for now with some angelic patience. How does one come to know the Emperor's origins?

"Simple, I built it, or at least the program it was."

Why are you telling me this?

"I offer you a choice that should only be made with the information I have shared with you:

"You can keep your implanted knowledge, memories, and outlook on life. You will forget this conversation ever took place. Or," the old man stops eating waffles and for the first time, meets your gaze. He looks at you like he would a daughter. "You can wipe away those memories and continue on as Yumi."

He gestures to your plate of waffles. They're still warm.

>"Will you take a bite?"

>Bite the FUCK outta that waffle!
>Flip the table over, you've had it with this fool

>>36487791

>Bite the FUCK outta that waffle!
DEATH TO THE EMPEROR

>>36487791
>Bite the FUCK outta that waffle!
Juarez is small fries compared to Robo-Hirohito.

>>36487934
Assvengers, Assemble!


Captain Texas (Fel)
Bulk (Bigg)
Butthor (Krag)
Iron Angel (Yumi)
Skull Knight (Johnny)
Spider-girl and Octop-too (Lisa and P-Too)

>>36487982
Bulk is clearly Slab.

>>36487995
Except, instead of turning green and huge, he turns glowy and homoerotic.

>>36487995
>>36487995
>>36488040
Sure
Slab Bulkhead is the Incredible Bulk

Imouto is the White Witch

Elf Queen is She Bulk

Hamburgia is Hamburgirl


Bigg's probably still demonic now, since he was brought back and possessed. So he must be bigger (heh)

So maybe he can be Big(g) Man (giant man)

>>36488144
Oh and Punch plays a Nick Fury-esque role.
So Let's sum it up and see if it seems good:

>Punch Rockgroin wearing an eye-patch
Punch Rogroin

>Captain Texas
Felicia

>Bulk
Slab

>Butthor
Kraghammer

>Iron Angel
Yumi

>Skull Knight
Johnny

>She-Bulk
Sugar

>White Witch
Imouto

>Spider Girl
Lisa

>Octop-too
P-2

>Big Man
Bigg

>Hamburgirl
Hamburgia

>>36488227
On it.

>>36488282
Wait, you're drawing it?

>>36488451
As I do, yes. Not WELL, mind you...

>>36488510
>>36488282
I tried to do it too.
It looked okayish but I scrapped it because meh

QK dead again?

You bite into the golden pastry. It's pretty good, but it could use some syrup. Blueberry syrup!

Just as you think of it, a pitcher of syrup appears before you and pours itself on the rest of the waffle.

The syrup and the waffle compliment each other, making the pastry the best you've tasted since... well, there was that churro, but before that, you can't think of any time before in your life when you've had a pastry! This enhances the flavor of the syrup and the texture of the waffle.

Tears of joy sprout in the corners of your eyes, and you look up at the man, who gives you an approving nod. You notice that off in the distance, a girl is kissing her senpai for the first time. As you finish your meal, the scene vanishes, and you don't really care, remember, or care to remember what it was you just forgot.

"Yumi-chan, you've got some syrup on your face."

Oh, jeez! This has never happened to me before!

"It's fine, you're only human. Just be sure to remember what you learn from now on, okay?" the old man says as he leans over to wipe your face with a slicked thumb. He then wipes it off on a napkin, leaving you blushing.

Say, I don't seem to recall what your name is. What is it, may I ask?

The old man looks at you and says, "Mori Freeman."

>Thank him for the meal and leave
>Pour some syrup on your butt


I'll stop here. My signal isn't good and real finnicky. My QM plans for future Yumi QMs:
Yumi wakes up, and using that 16/20 from earlier, expels the demon bullets, and her wings heal. Her katana also becomes a flaming katana rather than an electric one. She also takes off the tie she's wearing over one her eyes, and gains the Cat Savior ability, able to reroll using the implant's probability mechanisms. It only has 9 charges. Also, she believes in herself.

>>36489319
lold

Me as a QM regardless of the whims of mobile networks: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W02G1ctKZLg

>>36489319

>Pour some syrup on your butt

>>36489319
>Pour some syrup on your butt
Looks like I'll be picking up, then.

So what now?

>>36489531
Imma need you all to roll some d20s is what. Best of three.

>>36489531
I'm hoping the siblings QM is up next.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>36489576
Eh, sure

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36489576

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>36489576
Assvengers, ASSEMBLE!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36489664
I'm guessing we'll have to do it eventually, dice gods demand it.

Looking back on it, though, on how people voted, maybe I should have turned Yumi into YanderAI. Oh well, she likes waffles now.

>>36489901
Oh don't worry, I have that covered...

Also, apologies for the long update.

>>36489901
Don't worry, she'll just be yandere for Slab now. He has two heads just ripe for the taking...

KABBALAH QUEST - CHAPTER 4 CONTINUED

>Pour some syrup on your butt.

You turn to leave, but before you do, an odd thought comes to mind. Squirting a bit of syrup onto your rear, you lather it until it is thoroughly shiny and very sticky. The viscous liquid seeps into your frame, and before Mori can shout out you are pulled back into reality, the projection of your subconscious twisting and crackling.

For a while, your vision goes black, unable to either see nor feel in the insensate abyss.

>REBOOTING...
>MEM.exe CONFIGURED
>ERROR - FILE EA.233 CORRUPTED
>ERROR - FILE EY.531 CORRUPTED
>ERROR - FILE TI.005 CORRUPTED

>LOADING SENSORY INPUT...
>SENSORY INPUT LOADED
>DRIVES RESTORING...
>WARNING - DRIVES DAMAGED
>ERROR - CANNOT CONNECT TO DRIVE F

>DRIVES RESTORED
>1ea5nGh2k907KLwaf7btT26d....
>ONLINE...

The sun stings your eyes as you return to consciousness. Shielding your head with a hand, you inspect yourself. Those wings - pretty dovelike mosaic feathers shatter dusty blackcrowlike foulpretty waffles... waf- your wings are torn in places, fractured in others, but still usable. They have taken on a black tone though.
Your armor is still solidangellike good SENPAI metal, hard to destroy Nippon steel after all. A few scorch marks from the impact but nothing grimdoveserious.

Looking around, the demonhost is... gone? Not very, by Yumirez in the hills! They must be eyegone unvieSENPAIwable, may have to soarrise can parse them.

What do actionchoose?
>Soarrise what chance parse them
>Inspectview our realmetal what can gooddoing
>SENPAI

>>36490335

>Soarrise what chance parse them
>Inspectview our realmetal what can gooddoing

>>36490335
I, uh... I think we broke Yumi. Not necessarily as badly as before, or maybe worse?
>Soarrise what chance parse them

>>36490335
Pouring syrup on our butt was for rimming, you fool! Blast it all!

File: Boreawat.png (244 KB, 476x465)

244 KB PNG

>>36490335
>Soarrise what chance parse them
Wat

>>36490425
But now we get YandereYumi, which I think is worth less rimming.

>>36490443
Wrong, there is never enough when it comes to tonguing a girl's ass, especially when it's a fictional girl who only has sugar and rainbows coming out of her rear end.

>Soarrise what chance parse them

Less time inspectviewing, weYOU I have to bloodmake those demondovepretty soldiers! Your wings shake, spreading lissomelike and frabbing the air as you soarrisERROR.
Parsing high above the canopytreesjung-jungl-jung-waffles, you see the demonhost runlikeswarm fast hillbetween! The army shooteRs bloodmake somesuch tribblish demonspawn at each flank, buERRORt Juarez remains undaunt-don-donatella-do-daunted. Timenow bloodmake that basBAKAtard!

>Rolllike somesuch 1d43434343- ERROR
>Rolllike somesuch 3d20

Rolled 19, 4, 19 = 42 (3d20)

>>36490605
Rol goofjdjdh

Rolled 15, 20, 4 = 39 (3d20)

>>36490652
>2 19s
Exellentsome anonSEMPAI

>>36490605

Rolled 14, 12, 18 = 44 (3d20)

>>36490605

>>36490672
u're no bad ursejehshlf kid

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>36490605

>Rolllike somesuch 1d43434343

>>36490714
>>36490672
>>36490652
Is this the blessing of the Insane AI?

>>36490742
Tim fir theme. Music
http://youtu.be/U1_oRcizmcE

>Rollbecome 19.e3rT6yo3

You springfall pereGrine style at the gaijiDEMON chief, hopeprepare what chance you are eyegone unviewable by him.ERROR

By what time nearapproach he's still unreac-ack-ack-acquiesce-active. You happyyell bloodmake warnings as weYOU you bring firebladeCUT into him!

>rollbecome 20.e3rT6yo3

Cautercut the blade all snicker-snaSENPAIck through his torso midsection waist waste waste waste refuse
>FILE SENT TO THE RECYCLE BIN
and cleansome out the other end! The demonking man howls a sudden cry, turning unhumanlike and faceseeing you with angerglare look. He suddenlike shift-shiv-shifts and growsome into big-style serpentslither with his upper hal.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeERROR!
Lungeattacking you, his teeth bared scarelike, you swing atwards him the firecut in your hands too much time on my hands i've got too much time on my hands and its ticking away at my SANITy-sane?

(>continuesuch)

File: ohgodwat.png (972 KB, 800x600)

972 KB PNG

>>36490992
What is going on

Are we fighting Juarez? Are we singing Styx?

>>36491034
No idea. I'm just rolling a d2 for my votes.

>>36491034
I can tone it down if needed.

Be back shortly, gotta pick up some stuff.

>>36491114
I like it so far.

>>36490851
Better Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUSbP2sPFCM

Alright, writingsuch uplike-lik-li-lick.

The serpentslither strikes at meYOU you, teeth bared and tailback streaming liquidichor lick liquor liquor blood from your cautercut.

>rollbecome 18.e3rT6yo3

The CPU mainerror error CPU ERROR reflexively moves you backtowards as though instinCtive, and Juarez-gaijin baka back black adder addition demondovepeace misses you milesome! You keepcontinue the back move and bring the cautercut straightsome to the Mad-Eye's maddish eye!

>rollbecome 19.e3rT6yo3

It puncturestabs the Juarez eye I i-YOU you keep pushing it in, slickichor flowing out lissomely as the demondevil screeches. The slithersnake writhes seductivesome and bloodmakes quickly for such high-standinGAIJIN.

Deadsome. ee45aP3naE4make make what chance next?

What do actionchoose?
>Imbibe slickichor so you can slithersnakesome
>Soarrise and parse warbattle in the hillbetween.
>SENPAI
>SENPAI
>SENP
>SEN
>S
>ERROR

>>36491917
>ERROR

>>36491956
I should note, only the first 3 are valid selections.

>>36491917
>Soarrise and parse warbattle in the hillbetween.
Mxico; saved frm dmons, savd fom Mexic?

>>36492009
O wel le's leavhhg thds placrs fr nohw

>>36491917
>Imbibe slickichor so you can slithersnakesome
Got to be slithersakesome.

>>36492087
Nt ith maiau wajjsifudu yiorj noto!11@

>>36492087
Yumo is too loveydovey angel to be a snake demon tho

>>36491917
>Imbibe slickichor so you can slithersnakesome
The mexicans will go nuts over Quetzal!Yumi.
Strike that, what will become of her ass?

>>36492308
Nevermind, she's already got that black cat motif.

>Imbibe slickichor so you can slithersnakesome
>Soarrise and parse warbattle in the hillbetween

You sheathe away the cautercut for nowtimes, LOOKparse parsing the deadsome corpsedemon and eyeing the slickichor with an unnatural thirst. You bend over, hands running like rivumerrow merry hi derry ho derry like fish in a vermillion rivercreek through the slickichor.
It feels goodsome.

Cuppingup the slickichor, you imbibe mirthfulsome and swallow as much as you dareconsider.
>INPUT NOT RECOGNIZED
>REVERTVER-VERT-VERT-VERT ADAPTIVE
Lots leftabout over, can't have such tastelovely slickichor being wasted. You cupup more, sliding it smoothsome all over your armorflesh flesh flesh slickichor flesh flash smile for the camera!

You smile widely, enjoying the smoothsome experience before rising once more. No, soarrisinG ERROR and up and up oversome the demoncorpse and parsing the warbattle. Goodsome going, yes? YessSSS39ewjr03rf the shooters bloodmaking many demonkin now, and withbeing Juarez so deadsome as he is, the BigPrimes can't into workout order, things go badsomely on their section. Lookseems your jobWORK WORKING ERROR donehere now.

What do actionsay?

>>36491917
Changing >>36492308 to >Soarrise and parse warbattle in the hillbetween

>>36492417
That's been done now, don't worry. Actionsay now.

>>36492407
>Try to find money on the fallen and pay the churro and roof mans from earlier.

>>36492407
>SENPAIIII

>>36492407
>Protocol found at Memory Drive Address 0x1CB0H:0x556AH
>REBOOT AND REPAIR PROTOCOL ENGAGED
>Initializing back-up Memory Drive
>Repair Scanner Parameters Set
>ASSEMBLING BASE CODE

Time to fix the system problems and use the back up memory.

>>36492713
How unlissomelike.

>>36492580
>>36492483
Writingtype as such.

>>36492746
>unlissomelike.
No seriously I can't understand a single thing.

What the fuck does this even mean

>Try to find money on the fallen and pay the churro and roof mans from earlier.

You landescend among the warbattle, most demondevils abscon-con-scon-scones absconding around you, and the armykills samelike. The corpsedevils don't wear muchsome clothes, even armorweapons like steel or such some times! Doesn't take a MoriGenius to parse what there's no money here.

>SENPAIIII

Your head snaps up as the thoughtthink thinking thinking... as the notion presents itself. Wings frabbing the air againtimes, you cry out in a warbled, distorted and yet distinct-tinct-tintive noticeably familiar voice.

"SEMPAIIIII"

>(Continuegoes)

>>36492992
The thoughtthink-thinking think NOTION notion consumes you, fullmakes your whole brainwires and drives you out.
Were weYOU you in a more staERRORble mental state of affairs, you mite wonderthink whotowards the SEMPAI is!

Whotowards is SEMPAI?
>Kraghammer
>Slab
>Punch
>SEMPAI
>Writetype in

>>36493072
>SEMPAI
I spot your roadrailed and I evadodgede

>>36493131
If there was ever a raIlroad, it was derailexploded the minute that syrupsap went do-dow-down DOWN our ass.

>>36493072
>SYRUP

>>36493158
road of railroad goes de-de-profound[adjective] than capablecan detect

Don't mind me I'm just detecting a subconscious pattern exploit here, just move along

>>36493072
>Kraghammer

>>36493072
>Mori Freeman

>>36493258
>>36493072
Seconded.

>>36493258
Isn't he more of a Sensei?

>Mori Freeman

You thinkrecall, hurty thoughts going through your mind like memories. ArE they mem-memo-memorandum-memories? Are you memorie-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-es? Syrupsap, goodfeeling all on you. Not goodfeeling smoothlike as slickichor, but goodfeeling all the same.

Also... Mori FreeSEMPAI the memorynotion interjects unviewable, like it was always therewards.
SEMPAI! You have to see SEMPAI! He n-note-notified-notice noticed you and you know he likeloves you too! Just as you likelove Sempai! If Sempai would just tell you like you knowthink he wanERRORts to, you couLd both be soooo happyglad!

But... Mori Sempai was a dreamthought! How are weYOU you going to findseek him-him-him-her-her-him him in the reality?

>>36493647
>Locate secret lab using our GPS
>Head over to NEW EDEN for relief

>>36493647
>Locatefind via utilize-ation of P-P-PRE SET HOME Coordinates from b-building phase II

>Locatefind the laboraterritory

You continue to soarrise, heAded westwards on an unnoticed instinctnotion. The memori-i-i-memorandums memories come back, not sensorylike but ingrained deep in your braERRORinwires. Senpai!
>1844 Azami Str, Edori, Japan
>Suite 12

SENPAIII! Your rocketblasters make fire in the air, and you careen towards the loc-loca-loca-locative location location iscribed into your very construction. The water glibbs shinelike beneath you, not very seductivesmooth like slickichor though. Still prettydovedemon like.

Time moves ungraibly grai grai 29eer0T96F around you, and soon without noticeparsing you have comeupon the coast of GLORIOUS NIPPON STEEL. FILTHY GAIJIN GO HO-HO-HOMILY

Directed directly in the direction given by your diRectives, you find the building where SENPAI is! M-maybe weYOU you are good enough for SEMPAI now? Are weYOU pretty enough? The slickichor makes us so seductivesmooth, SEMPAI will surely love us!

>(Cont.)

>>36494216
(Sorry for the long updates)

Walls aside like the demondevils absconded around you, your armorskin-skin-ski-SKEIN skin turning the metalstone off it like glibby water. Finalsome the last door goes aside with a lo-loud craSh.

>ERROR - AUDITORY INPU-PUT-PUT-PPPPP
>ERROR

SEMPAI! There he there he he hehe is! He looks so cutesome when he's terrified!

"Y-Yumi?! What's happened? What are you doing here?"

SEMPAI TALKED TO MEEE
Oh-oh ohohoh Oh, what do I speechsay?

What do you speechsay?

>>36494531
>"Please fix, need relief"

>>36494531
Wait is it Mori Freeman or Senpai?

>P-Please Fixrecover, memory drive damage. System failure, shutdown immineclose

>>36494566
Senpai is dead. Love live senpai!

>>36494566
>Was it Mori Freeman or Senpai?
Yes.

>>36494590
How do you know senpai died...
For all we know there's
another robot hunting us

>>36494612
Senpai crashed his custom jetfighter into a subway train.

>>36494612
there's chance* fuck me and my brain

>>36494641
We got thrown a few kilometers away by a butthammer.

This is Kabbalah son, you think we work on logic?

>>36494590
>>36494641
Apparently this is "Sempai". Senpai is dead, but Sempai has replaced him.

>>36494679
Mori-sempai will probably make it to where we're not so dependent on senpais tho.

>>36494726
Makes sense, suits him.

But seriously, people are still surprised something like a guy surviving a jet fighter explosion - could - happen in Kabbalah

after baby jesus dick blessings, austrian yautja fisiculturist, texan bull wrestlers, demon futanaris, loli consentracles, indian guys that don't smell and spidergirls
something is still deemed "impossible"?

"Pl-please, SEMPAI! Fixneeding! Relieftimes, very unseductivelike! Lissomely failu-u-u-u-re failing, shutdown imminevitable!"

WeYOU stagger over to Sempai, slickichor staining his fleshskin. He looks so much more lisseductive like tha- no! Repairneedings! Sempai scrabbles out from beneath you. Why are you runabscondinG SempERROR
>ERROR - IMMINENT SYSTEM SHUT DOWN

>POWERING DOWN
>DISKS OFFLINE...

>SHUTTING DOWN...

And this is where I step down for a while. Anyone who wants to pick up Yumi's "reboot" is open to do so.

>>36494941
Eh I'd QM, but now I've gotta go to sleep.

Good luck folks, try to keep the thread alive. It's already archived by the way.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Kabbalah%20Quest

>>36495003
Anyone still here?

>>36495850
Yup.

>>36495850
Nope.

>>36492790
Lissom: (of a person or their body) thin, supple, and graceful.
"the kind of outfit that should be left to lissom teenagers"

Unlissomelike: presumably just the opposite, so think 'ungracefully'

Some Dingus, just catching up and I have to say I loved reading GlitchAIYumi. I thought it was very well done.

Then again, I'm a native English speaker so I don't know how unintelligible this is for others

>>36496825
I just found it annoying after a while.

>>36496825
Thanks anon, I was worried I overdid it.

>Then again, I'm a native English speaker so I don't know how unintelligible this is for others
The effect would probably be the same.

>>36494857
You are Mori Freeman, the architect and builder of many forms of Artificial Intelligence. You're also in the prosthetics/orthotics business, having designed multi-limbed androids to handle the surgeries that go on in the back. Not many people come in for replacements anymore, thanks in part to most of them already being perfect, but mostly because of your perfectly reasonable fees. There is a business you do for free though, but that's for another time.

One of your patients has just burst into your lab again, heavily damaged like the last time, only with less debris, blood, and organs everywhere. But hey, you got to test out the cleaning capabilities of your dogdroid, which is like a mixture of a robot dog and a roomba, only eight hundred times better.

While there isn't as much of a mess in your lab compared to before, the girl has penetrated through several barriers of your secret lab, and she's very oily. After signaling the constructiondroids to start repairing the damage, you have a goferdroid come heft the unconscious girl over to the table.

Time to survey the damage. The front of her torso is hanging together by wires and scraps, what little organs were left have been burnt to a crisp. Her forcefield is out of bettery, and the mechanism is busted. The circuitry for her arms is beyond repair. Lots of shrapnel all about, probably should use the more resistant materials as a replacement exoskeleton. What are those things on her back... Are those wings!? Maybe you can do something with those.

You take the blood-soaked (scratch that, it's just red) tie off of her head, uncovering her right eye. You pry it open with two fingers, and grin. It's glowing, which means she freed herself. Though it seems more like she stumbled upon it from a forced reboot during combat. Oh well, she still made the decision.

Right now, you consider her more organic than most other people despite all the wires and prosthetics.

>Cont.

>>36499028
Right, time to operate while she's deactivated.

What to work on?

>Recharge and fix her electrical forcefield
>Replace her exoskeleton
>Replace her arms
>Do something with the wings
>Write-in

>>36499073
>Replace her exoskeleton
Seems like upgrading the strength of the framework is a good place to start. Are we able to perform diagnostics of her software?

>>36499104
You set to work on her exoskeleton, the surgeondroids seeming more like mechanics as they strip away the scrapheap that is this girl's chest. Replacement organs more efficient than the organic kind are brought in and installed immediately.

You command your goferdroids to bring over that material that's made out of (some sciency bullshit, write-in). This will cost YOU a fortune, seeing as how this girl's AWOL with not a yen to her name. But, this girl seems like she'll be a good investment, and could be extremely helpful in rectifying that mistake you made.

Less than ten minutes later, and the girl is featuring a new prototype exoskeleton that can harden both the skin and cushion the insides from external force.

A thought occurs to you that, what with her unusual behavior and way of speaking as she entered the lab, the girl's OS may have gone haywire. Let's see if you can do something about that...

>Roll 1d100, low is good, best of three

You can also start procuring the necessary parts for the next operation. Which one do you prepare?

>Recharge and fix her electrical forcefield
>Replace her arms
>Do something with the wings

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>36499290
>material that's made out of (some sciency bullshit, write-in)
Woven carbon nanotube matrix over a titanium frame

>Replace her arms

Time to roll low

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>36499407
Lower...

>>36499421
HAHAHAHAHA, SENPAI HUNGERS

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>36499407
>>36499421
Lower again... hopefully not ANOTHER 70...

>>36499437
Oh sheeeeeit.

>>36499437
Goddamnit.

>>36499435
Are you SUUUURE you wanted us to roll low and not high...?

>>36499451
Ssshhh, just lie back and let SENPAI take care of the rest.

Writing~!

You set the androids to work on her arms, one of them coming out with a POP! Given the weapon she was waving around when she entered your lab, she might want something that goes for maneuverability and precision. Well, you've got lots of arms laying around gathering dust, what sort to put on her? (write-in, otherwise it'll be sam-rye arms)

You locate the USB 8.0 port on the back of her head, and, laying her head on the side, you stride over to your computer. You boot up her files, and try to see if you can repair her UI some with the (altered) installation pack you used on her last time.

You begin the installation, and just over half a minute later, it's complete, the UI safely repaired. Huh, what does this "SENPAI.exe" do? Might be important. Huh, nothing's happening. Looking over the files, you see one labeled "SENPAI.drm." No, you see two files labeled "SENPAI.drm" Four? Eight. Shit!

"Senpai..." you hear the girl murmur in her sleep. You're going to have to shut her down before the virus can spread more. You'll think of something to counteract the virus later on. Probably.

Well, her arms have been installed. What now?

>Recharge and fix her electrical forcefield
>Do something with the wings, you might have something laying around
>Write-in

>>36499786
>sam-rye arms
I have no idea what you're referring to alas.

>Do something with the wings, you might have something laying around

>>36499851
>I have no idea what you're referring to alas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHD6LmO366s&feature=player_detailpage#t=305 5:05

>>36499895
So simply put, arms designed to be used for using a katana?
Seems decent. Can we put in some Jensen style blades that slide out in the event she loses her katana too?

>>36499933
Or like an EVA knife?

>>36499949
Sounds good

You might be able to do something with transistors, a lightweight frame, and repulsion. While you get to work sketching up blueprints, one of the constructiondroids comes running in waving his arms like a madman.

"Intruders at the storefront! Secret police!"

Shit, how did they figure out where you are, was it the destruction and subsequent construction? Or was it...

Turning to your computer, you see the icon for SENPAI.exe flashing on and off again, a gaudy blue rose with falling petals that takes up the whole screen. Senpai's a fuckin' snitch, that's what he is.

What do?

>Keep working on the wings
>Ready the backup drive
>Organize the defenses

>>36500145
What's the backup drive for? Yumi's being?

>>36500153
Close.

>>36500187
Alright, I'll probably have to go with
>Organize the defenses
With a bit of luck we can resume the rebuilding in peace soon enough.

>>36500201
Okay, since you're probably the only one here, roll me 3d100

Rolled 99, 74, 7 = 180 (3d100)

>>36500216
Here goes something

>>36500218
>99
Thank god for that. At least I can consistently roll high.

>>36500230
You really lucked out with that 7! Writing.

>>36500235
Ohdang, we're still trying to roll low? Thank the gods for that 7 then. Would a 100 be a critfail?

>>36500246
A 100 would be all the robutts exploding.

You have the gofers start piling up objects that can be used as barricades, and set the constructers to work reinforcing those barricades. The surgeons brandish the buzzsaws, pliers, shears, and scalpels held in their multiple limbs, and they speed off towards the upper levels, charging up their eye beams already.

Restarting your computer, you open up the surveillance camera footage. The police are already on the second level, having cleared the first, your public lab where you do somewhat public operations, really just tune-ups. You're currently on the fourth.

You have:
>4 surgeon generals (can repair robots and fight well)
>12 constucters (can repair robots and fortify, and fight)
>26 gofers (mostly useless, little combat skill, meatshields)
>1 secret weapon (you wouldn't use this on your worst enemy, actually you would, you would even use it on these guys, but maybe it can wait for later, you can't turn it off easily)

>Send some up to the second level to engage the enemy in direct combat and hold position
>Have some lie in wait to ambush the police on the third level
>Keep some around to protect you