This is turning from /tg/s version of Plothole Frodo to /tg/s version of Big Guy Posting

>>36420301
just get back in the sandwich
all is going fine, just as planned I would say

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>>36420301
Where we're going we won't be needing bread.

>>36420334
But unfunny.

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>>36420301
Oh, for the Emperor's sake, not this shit again.

Alright, soldier, here's your orders:
Figure out who's got rank at your position, then relay the following orders to him:
Maintain position and secure the perimeter. If the perimeter is secure, then fortify the perimeter. If the perimeter is secure, fortify it some more, because there is no such thing as a sufficiently fortified perimeter.

Keep your head down, pray EXTRA-hard to the Emperor, remember that the best armor against this shit is contempt: we've seen it all before and it ain't that fuckin' scary. You see any Daemons, you shoot 'em. If they look extra big, blow 'em the fuck up. If they look extra, EXTRA big, then determine if you have enough Boom to take 'em out. If you don't, make a fighting withdraw (that means you slow it down with mines, close doors behind you, etc,) to the nearest armory where you can find sufficient explosives.

When reality firms its shit back up, we're gonna have to sweep the ship again, so rally your men and report to the muster point by the primary Gellar Field Generator.

I, don;t know about you guys but I feel fine, Psyker's reacting more violently to me than usual though. And the bleeding walls seem to stop when I walk past 'em.

>>36427132
I hope it's not the green ones. It takes an hour of prayer and another of scrubbing to get the pus off the walls and we're out of bleach.

Alright, soldiers. How the fuck did this happen AGAIN? No sooner have we cleaned up after THAT disaster, than this shit happens again. Go to the armory before un-ship navigation gets weird. Bring everything you can find to the bridge and bring the Commissars up here.

>>36427321
Just wondering, what's un-ship navigation? Did you mean in-ship?

>>36427321
Sir, why is everyone screaming about voices? I can't hear anything and I'm sure the bleeding walls is a trick of the light as it disappears when I approach it.

>>36427203
Fine and dandy, soldier. Until an officer says otherwise, you're now in charge wherever you are. You heard the orders I gave that scared rookie, carry on.

>>36427274
Relax, soldier. We're on a ship. Cleaning Nurgling goo off the bulkheads is what the Emperor's Navy made Ratings for. We make the mess, they get to put on the hazard suits and clean it up.

On that note, if you're seeing the green ones, or if you even see hints that you might see the green ones, put your Emperor-blessed hazard suits on!

Sir! The toilet is speaking to me!

>>36427374
Dispense one of the Emperor's holy Cherry bombs into it. Then flush and run.

>>36427374
Then put your gorram hazard suit on, private! Close the latrine doors, and wire the door with tripmines to blow the fuck out of anything coming out of them.

Honestly, you'd think these soldiers don't know how to deal with a minor daemonic incursion. Here's a hint: It's the same way you deal with Orks, just with more stupid bullshit and praying for your souls.

>>36427348
B-but sir everyone's screaming and complains about feeling uneasy when I stand near them.

>>36426043
For you.

>>36427401
>Dispense one of the Emperor's holy Cherry bombs into it. Then flush and run.

If you think it'll be enough, Captain. I'd have used a frag grenade, or at least an M-80.

>>36427412
Then put on your best Sargent voice (you have got a Sargent voice, right?) and ask the maggots if they want to FEEL uneasy, or if they want to have the shit still in their bowels possessed by a Daemon.

If any of them even look like they're thinking of the latter, order them to report to the nearest member of the Commissariat instead.

I can hear Trooper Boggins whispering next to me, telling me about what we're going to do on our next refit break...

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Sir! Sir! I'm starting to taste sounds sir! Orders sir!

>>36427428
The latrines are a valuble resource, guardsman. If you see fit, however, destroy the organic life in there with a mini-krak.

>>36427453
I don't have good people skills but I'll try sir.

Also a red skinned thing just ran at us and promptly fell to the floor when it got close to me, I stabbed it a few times and it disappeared.

>>36427466
Lie down, guardsman.

>Loads bolt pistol

>>36427460
Soldier, report to >>36427412 and fall in. If the whispering is still going on, then Trooper Boggins is a real soldier, hit him and tell him to stop being a cut-up during an incursion. If it stops, then ignore anything you heard, half of it's lies and the other half is Damned lies.

>>36427466
Report to >>36427412 and fall in, soldier!

>>36427474
I'm not there, Captain. I'm in the forward armory with a few Untouchables, a team of veterans, and some Navy ratings who appear to have been issued balls of steel, gearing up to get shit done, sir. And I'm aware that the latrines are a valuable resource, but they're a replaceable resource, whereas at present, Guardsmen are not.

We'll bring the Krak grenades, though. (Honestly, there should be emergency lockers full of grenades, detpacks and tripmines in every compartment on the ship.)

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I feel the warp overtaking me.

May the Motherland protect me, comrades.

>>36427533
OH GOD SIR, THERE'S A EVIL LOOKING SPACE MARINE WITH A STAFF CALLING ME A SOULLESS ABOMINATION!

WE MANAGED TO LOCK OURSELVES IN THE MESS HALL BUT THE OTHER TROOPERS ARE ALL GLARING AT ME AND FIDGETING.

WHAT DO WE DO SIR!

May the emperor grant you peace, guardsman

>Cocks laspistol

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Excuse me, servants of the False Emperor, but where am I?

The last thing I remember is asking one of the Thousand Sons' Sorcerers why we didn't just bypass Cadia and blitzkrieg the entire sector when he said something I couldn't make out and then I was here.

>>36427589
OH MY EMPEROR ANOTHER ONE!

FUCK YOU GUYS I HAVE A SOUL YOU LYING HERETICS!

>>36427609
I almost have the plasma cannon set up, keep him talking sarge.

>>36427533
Excellent idea. When we get out, I'll tell the Mechanicus to install such items. When we get a fanned warpbane hull.

>>36427544
*Slavic chorus sounds*

>>36427609
Now now, no need to scream, slave to the Corpse God. It's just plain rude.
Now seriously, where am I? I don't think I recognize this part of the Warp.

>>36427589
You are aboard a chaos vessel. Stay where you are and we'll send someone to help.

Boatswain, vent compartment X-21.

>>36427695
And set up and charged, lucky I thought to loot this after that techpreist went nutso on us. Fire the plasma cannon!

>>36427716
Oh crap.

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>>36420301
Sir?

>>36427716
Are sure this is a Chaos vessel? There is an awful lot of unbroken aquilas and non-desecrated Icons to the False Emperor.
It's actually a refreshing change from all the Blood and screaming faces.

>>36427583
Get your shit together, sack up and start acting like a leader. If you have any heavy weapons, prepare to employ them. Remember that enough detpacks and tripmines piled in the same place constitute a heavy weapon.

If you haven't got any heavy weapons or explosives, remember that the contents of a Navy mess hall can easily be repurposed as such. Figure out who in your unit has the requisite skills to repurpose the cooking equipment as improvised explosive devices and set him to the task.

And remember: if you are, in fact, soulless, that means there's nothing for the daemons to eat or corrupt.

>>36427609
This is an order: Calm the fuck down, pray to the Emperor, pass the munitions. And get to work setting a trap if that big bastard comes through teh door.

>>36427637
A plasma cannon? Where in the Emperor's name did you... You know what, it doesn't matter. Good work, soldier. Just get ready, but do NOT fire until you see the spikes on his armor.

>>36427716
Captain, a reminder: Power armor is vacuum-rated, and technically the Warp is not vacuum to begin with.

>>36427727
Remember: Spikes on the armor, soldier!

>>36427921
A techpreist who was disassemballing a Russ attacked us so the boys and I picked it up after we put him down. Figured since we're dealing with chaos a big gun would be useful. Also I see his Emperor-damned spikes!

>>36427958
Then what the Warp are you waiting for, soldier?

>>36428000
The first shot only sent him flying, we are not chasing after a chaos marine. We aren't suicidal. That being said corridor 26-b3 is locked down.

Sir! Jenkins keeps shooting the floor what do I do!

>>36428079
LASGUNS DO NOTHING, THE FLOOR IS LAVA

>>36427921
I'm being called an abomination by a sorcerer that burst through a wall and melted my squaddies, he keeps calling me an untouchable while staying as far away as possible.

What the frak is an untouchable?

>>36428178

Well mate, I got good news and bad news for ya. Bad news is that, as nice a bloke as you probably are, you got less soul than an ork has brains. Good news though, you're probably the one person onboard qualified to fuck that sorceror right up. Give 'em hell!

>>36428178
Think it means you fuck up deamons and the like when you're near them. You're lucky mate. This shit wont affect you.

I got nurglings barreling down this Corridor. Keep that cannon shooting! I don't care if its hot, its better than getting stabbed to death by a rusty spoon! Keep firing!

>>36428212
OK, I'll try my best, but if I don't have a soul then what's the purpose in life?

I tackled the Sorcerer and he's now spasming violently on the floor.

>>36428229
If what you say is true I can help, running there as fast as I can!

>>36428267
My men and I are on the other side of the ship, make sure that sorcerer is dead and get yourself and a few techpriests down to Gellar control, that's our best bet.

And here comes the chaos marine, well shit. Keep firing! These things will die if you shoot them enough!

>>36428317
Ok then, I think most cogheads are dead though

>>36428367
Well find one that isn't and get him to the control! We're getting swatted like flies here.

*BOOOOOOOOOOM* MEN fall back!, fall back to the bulkhead.

>>36428386
Hey, I think I found one, he's hiding in a vent with a servo skull.

HE SAYS HE KNOWS HOW TO FIX GELLER FIELDS! Looking at me kinda funny though.

>>36428449
Put him on the Fething Vox. Hey Techpriest this guy is immune to deamons let him keep you safe. Yes I know he's creeping you out just deal with it. Fix that Gellar field and we might get out of this shit alive.

Sergeant Johannson to Captain Corridor 26-3b was overrun half my men killed. Orders?

>>36428449
Ask him if his solution is to weld a daemon onto it.

>>36428499
If you're going to die anyways, rush them with a bunch of explosives strapped to you, if not, retreat to compartment 5b. There are more guardsmen there.

Excuse me, Foolish worshippers of a false deity, but shooting me with a plasma cannon was extremely rude and uncalled for. All I did was ask for directions, for Khorne's sake.
Now stay in place so I can have some words with you blokes.

>>36428527
Also, if your Heretek is going to stick a Daemon on the ship, tell him it's a terrible idea, the bloody things are noisy and completely unreliable.
Believe me, I'm speaking from experience here.

>>36428554
My men and I are moving one of the kids got tagged by a Nurgling, so he's staying behind with a "Surprise" for them.

>>36428588
Feth you Chaos Marine! FETH YOU!

>>36428499
>>36428527
I asked him about welding a daemnon to it and he called it Heresy so he's on the level.

OK he's mending it as we speak, theres a large pink lady thing outside trying to seduce him however, luckily he only has a love of well oiled machines, it doesn't seem to realize I'm here.

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Excuse me, Guardsmen, but where am I exactly?
I was asking the Chief Librarian why we didn't just round up all the untouchables we could find into one army, train them and use them as a quick response unit against Daemons and sorcerers much like the Guardsmen themselves functioned and next thing I know I'm here.
Can any of you hel-

>>36428588
You! I would recognize your face anywhere! Zathras the Doubter, what are you doing here, Foul traitor? I thought you died during the last battle at Cadia!

>>36428710
How big is she? Cause if it substantially larger than an average human you are about to get borked one way or the other. We're at B5 Captain, no sign of the other men.

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I didn't read this thread and I hate to burn this image for the day, but fuck yall lovely niggas

>>36428746
About the size of a scout marine , I opened the door and she freaked out and ran away.

>>36428761
Great, now there are Deamonettes on the prowl too. Good job keeping her away keep the priest safe at any cost guardsman.

Captain are you there? We are at B5 and have no sightings friendly or otherwise. Doo you read?

What was our destination anyway?

I just realized, usually guardsmen are purged after facing daemons, how are these one's so Warp savvy?

>>36428841
Some place called Pennurk IV If I remember correctly, something about Orks.

>>36428851
Got given orders to come to this ship after a 5 year long campaign against chaos on my homeworld. The Colonel said it'd be a waste of a regiments worth of troops when we could be used in other places. Apparently the Higher ups agreed. I like not being shot.

>>36428865
Odds are we'll crash into the planet as soon as the Gellar field is up at this rate.


This is Sergeant Johannson Broadcasting to all command personnel. Does anyone read me?

>>36428918
You say fiery crash, I say improvised Ork removal and troop deployment device

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>>36428760
>that filename

>>36428738
I doubted the fact that i died. the power of disbelief!

but that's bullshit, you'd be an idiot to think that.

>>36428851
when the gellar field broke the ship passed trough a vortex of souls on the edge of the immaterium
it is very likely that the people you see here and now are not here and now
or maybe we all died and the souls just possessed the closest living being causing him to have numerous and distinct disorders of personality
or maybe none and all of the above

the pariah guy is strange though

>>36428851
This is the third time this happened in this trip. I suspect that no one will believe so many Guardsmen survived all the Gellar Field failures and punish us for lying, instead of killing us for knowing about Daemons.

>>36427416
For everyone.

>>36427348
mhhmrmmhrrmhrh mr.

>>36428963
Provided we land successfully and the Deamons and orks don't kill us first.

>>36428956
Fuck you, I'm the most mundane dude around here, I'm so normal I enforce an aura of normality upon everything.

>>36428968
No. Just for you.

>>36428995
pariah are strange
everyone should hate them
they are not normal, they are abominations, errors in the matrix of reality
fuck you

>>36429035
N-no, fuck you, those Necrons we fought last month seemed to like me.

>>36429035
but, chaos is heresy
chaos worships the warp
pariahs fuck the warp up, and therefore fuck chaos up
shouldn't we view pariahs as blessed for being able to fucking chaos over?

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He-low seer-veents ahf teh corpsh god.
Whee our here ta captoor it foor kay-oss.

Whee hour a commie-saur!

>>36429064
pariahs also fuck over everything with a soul
a god-emperor blessed soul
would you let such abomination live?

>>36428367
NEGATIVE, THE MAJORITY OF ADEPTAS MECHANICAS ARE CURRENTLY POSSESSED BY A TECH BLIGHT. RIGHTS OF ANTI-VIRUS ARE PROCEEDING. RECOMMEND LOGICAL CONTRADICTIONS FOR HOSTILE INFECTEES.
01010000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001111 01101101 01101110 01101001 01110011 01110011 01100001 01101001 01100001 01101000

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>>36429158
You may be onto something here.

>>36420301
can someone post all of the "excuse me" wh40k guys

I only have Titus and the guardsmen

>>36429158
because as terrible as that is, chaos is our greatest enemy, and thus we need people like him to fight as. we don't need to like it, but we need them. view them as a space marine of a sort, blessed by the Emperor to be damned with the greatest weapon against chaos.

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>>36429214

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Emperor damn it, my squad's voxes fritz out for a little while and everybody goes cuckoo.

LISTEN UP! New standing orders:
Everyone who ISN'T infected by Nurglings, corrupted by Chaos, dead, or outranks me*, now has new orders: find the nearest Untouchable, combine forces with them, and move towards the nearest of the Bridge, Gellar Field Generator, Warp Drives or Plasma Engines. Collect any cogboys you find along the way. If they seem insane or possessed, knock them out, tie them up, cut off any augmetics that look like they can cut their way out with, and secure them in a locker with a note on the door. Collect any non-possessed servitors you see on the way. If its eyes are a-glowin', or you see any other signs of obvious Warpy shennanigannery, shoot it until it stops moving, then shoot it through the head just to be safe.

*If you don't know for sure that you outrank me, you don't, man the fuck up and get moving.

If you pass an armory, access it by whatever means are necessary. If anyone complains, listen to their complaints: if they say it's tainted, move on. If their complaints are anything else, point lasguns in their faces until they stop being stupid. If it looks all tainted and warpy, throw in some of whatever explosives you've got and move on. If it doesn't, tool up with the best shit you can find and don't leave any explosives behind if you can carry more shit. Remember, you can always dump gear if you find better gear later or find a sudden need to run, but you do NOT have authorization to go back for something you wish you had now.

And since we've had confirmed Nurgling sightings, put your hazard gear on. If you don't have any, find some. Those things will fuck you up worse than a bareback rodeo on a dozen underhive whores.

Well, going to seal the Geller room closed and take a nap while the cogboy fixes it, rigging the entrance up like back on Ucredias prime, so just remember what we did there to avoid the traps.

>>36429328
QUERY: WHICH ENTRANCE TO THE GELLER FIELD GENERATOR CHAMBER DID YOU ATTACH EXPLOSIVES TO?

>>36429328
Good man. We'll make a Sargent out of you yet.

Okay, people, adjustment to the orders: Proceed to the nearest of the Bridge, Warp Drives, or Plasma Engines. The Gellar Field Generator is secure until we hear otherwise.

>>36429401
If you don't know, the answer is yes, now go find something else to be productive in securing.

No-one is to discuss the particulars of Ucredias Prime, on an open channel or otherwise.

>>36429328
The only one that wasn't welded shut by the Cogboy, the primary one.

>>36429428
REMIND ENGINSEER VAUGHN THAT THE SECONDARY VENTILATION DUCTS ARE 1.02 METERS WIDE

>>36429427
I AM CURRENTLY OUTSIDE THE WARP DRIVE CONTROL ROOM. MODERATE DAEMONIC PRESENCE DETECTED. REQUESTING INCENDIARY SUPPORT

>>36429428
Son, is the shit in your ears, or your skull? I just said not to discuss the particulars of the security of the Gellar Field Generator.

That said, if the vent shafts are that fuckin' big, wire them up to go boom, too. And sight any heavy weapons you don't need covering the main entrance on the shafts, just to be sure.

>>36429492
>I AM CURRENTLY OUTSIDE THE WARP DRIVE CONTROL ROOM. MODERATE DAEMONIC PRESENCE DETECTED. REQUESTING INCENDIARY SUPPORT

I'm just moving my squad out of the fo'csle now, it'll take me forever and an age to get down to the warp drive with the trams offline and/or untrustworthy. Listen, if nobody else can get to you, here's what to do:

Find the nearest mess hall, set up pumps and pipes - you cogboys are always keen on rigging a solution, right? - to siphon all the flammable cooking materials - oil, grease, etcetera - through the vents, to the Warp Drive. Weld all the doors shut, then set the air filtration system to replace the air mix in the warp drive room with as much oxygen as you can. Then pump in all that flammable shit and light 'er up.

Then just wait for the fire to burn out. Anything that's left should be in such rough shape you can take it apart with a lascutter.

>>36429586
>>36429492
My men and I are near there we had to Leave section B5 a big metallic beast showed up and started rampaging around the area. We'll be there in 10 minutes provided there are no delays.

>>36429586
I HAVE ALREADY PROCURED THREE LITERS OF LAST NIGHT'S CHILI. I BELIEVE IT CAN BE WEAPONIZED IN SHORT ORDER.

>>36429617
DO NOT USE CORRIDOR C19 AS IT IS CURRENTLY ON FIRE

>>36429728
Yeah, we saw, taking A-27 around 13 minutes.

>>36429792
SERGEANT, ARE ANY OF YOUR SUBORDINATES TRAINED IN MELTA WEAPON USE?

>>36430185
Smitty and I have training why?

>>36430237
THE CHILI CANNON Mk 1 IS FINISHED, OPERATION AND FUNCTION SHOULD BE IDENTICAL TO VULCAN PATTERN MELTAGUNS.

>>36430435
Umm.............. okay then. Smitty can take that then we're almost there techpriest got hung up on some ship's men going cultist on us.

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>>36430435
The... Chili Cannon?

Damn, I'm sorry I'm gonna miss that! I hope someone has a holorecorder, or at least a pict cam.

By the way, a reminded to everyone: Voidsuits, while they will not protect you against the Warp, are excellent protection against biohazards. If you can't find a biohazard suit but happen to be near a voidsuit locker, they'll do. Just make sure you actually know what you're doing when you put it on.

In other news, my squad just picked up a squad of voidsuit operators who locked themselves in an airlock and were wearing voidsuits, beating nurglings to death with wrenches. We managed to secure their services as reinforcements by promising them actual guns. Still moving aft, sweeping along the ventral corridors.

>>36430625
As an aside, I've been assured by several of them that while wrenches make passable bludgeons, toolboxes are better, but if you need the most robust weapon you can improvise in a hurry, nothing apparently beats a fire extinguisher.

And if you happen to need to extinguish a fire - hey, you have one in your hands.

>>36430463
SIR!
SOMEONE REPLACED MY GUN WITH A FLASHLIGHT!

>>36430688
You have it on the wrong setting Guardsmen, you want it on the kill setting not the lighting a cigarette setting.

>>36430912
NO SIR
IT'S A LITERAL FLASHLIGHT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH A BLOODY FLASHLIGHT?
GET THE TECHPRIESTS AND MAKE THEM TO MAKE IT ABLE TO KILL PLEASE
I DON'T WANT TO GO ON FIRING LINE DUTY AGAIN

>>36430688
THAT FLASHLIGHT IS YOUR LASGUN. THE MACHINE SPIRIT MERELY HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR.

>>36430625
I HAVE A BIONIC EYE

HOLO RECORDINGS WILL BE IN YOUR QUARTERS BY WEEK'S END.

>>36430970
*flips a toggle on the gun, points it at a cultist and blow said cultist away* You just have a different model kid. Point It away from your face.

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>>36430995
>>36431016
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A BLOODY LASGUN?

>>36430625
SIR ! Private Jonhson grew a tit...tits and not on his? chest

>>36431060
I just shot someone with it and it killed them so I'm going o say yes.

>>36430625
We're still clearing out the drive it is a bloody mess in here, literally. That chili gun actually works though so yay for that.

>>36431060
IT DOES APPEAR TO BE MISSING A FEW LENSES

>>36429134
*BLAM*

>>36431123
>>36431130
Should've read the fine print. But damn if it doesn't light good cigars. You might wonder what I meant with "firing line duty again" but that's quite a story and I doubt we have time with all these checkups. Also Private Hennings seems to drool a lot for some reason, somebody check up on that.

>>36431060
yes

>>36431174
He's ben like that ever since a daemonette tried to bone him, priest said he was clean so ignore him.

>>36431239
Then tell him to stop following me, he's snuffing out my cigar. And tape his helmet upside down, his drool might be of use.

>>36431239

If he's clean he will not regret going to serve the Emperor directly, if he's not, we will be safer

*BLAMS Pvt. Hennings*

I NEED VOLUNTEERS TO FRAK THE HELL OUT OF THOSE BASTARDS ON ENGINE LEVEL 6 AND 7

MEN; FOLLOW MY LEAD

>>36431290
Damn we're running out of men, whatever you're the commissar. My men are at half squad strength so we'll hole up with he techpreist at the warp drive. WE still have that chaos marine roaming about and we're really short on cogboys now.

>>36430625
COMMANDER, DIAGNOSTICS OF THE WARP DRIVE. THE TORN COOLANT LINES CAN BE FIXED MOMENTARILY BUT I AM RECEIVING NO COMMANDS FROM NAVIGATION. EITHER THE ASTROPATH IS INCAPACITATED OR THE CONTROL LINES ARE CUT.

>>36430995
>I HAVE A BIONIC EYE
>HOLO RECORDINGS WILL BE IN YOUR QUARTERS BY WEEK'S END.
This should be good. I'll finally have proof when I say that the messhall cooks are serving us lethal food.
Damn tasty, though.

>>36431088
*sigh* Mutations are caused by warp exposure, they are not, however, a sign that the victim of the mutations are anything less than loyal to the Emperor. When you get a chance, take Johnson to the ship's medical wards (wait for them to be cleared out first) to have him put back the way he's supposed to be. And maybe get a ship's chaplain to say some prayers over him if you can find one who's not insane or death-gripping a flamer looking for heretics to purge.

>>36431174
>Should've read the fine print. But damn if it doesn't light good cigars. You might wonder what I meant with "firing line duty again" but that's quite a story and I doubt we have time with all these checkups. Also Private Hennings seems to drool a lot for some reason, somebody check up on that.

Damn, son, where'd you get that? That's an espionage-pattern lasgun. You don't see them often outside of Inquisitorial squads and the emergency kits on Rogue Traders.

Give Hennings a rag and tell him to stuff it in his helmet next time you're somewhere he can take his biohazard helmet off safely.

>>36431347

HOLY THRONE OF TERRA!, Sargeant as much as I like the idea of killing those bastards on lvls 6 and 7 if the warp drive falls everything is lost

Quick, does your cogboy can shut down life support on those levels ? maybe we can kill some of the cultists and minor bastards there

>>36431290
> facepalms

>>36431352
Squig plops. Is nobody moving towards the conning tower? It doesn't seem that way. We have a unit with you at the engines, and one in the Gellar Field Generator.

I'll take my men up the tower and see what the warp is going on.

Has anyone got eyes on any Astartes, loyal or otherwise? I heard a Space Marine a while back, but haven't made vox contact in a while.

>>36431431
NEGATIVE, LIFE SUPPORT IS PHYSICALLY ISOLATED FROM THE WARP DRIVE AND DAEMONS ARE LARGELY IMMUNE TO THE EFFECTS OF VACUUM. I CAN, HOWEVER, VENT WARP PLASMA INTO LEVELS SIX AND SEVEN. BE ADVISED THAT THIS WILL SET EVEN MORE OF THE SHIP ON FIRE.

>>36431431
I have no idea boss, ask him. I'm *las blasts sounds* having to deal with a pack of *a swishing sound then a wet splurch followed by a woman's orgasmic moan* Deamonettes, 3rd time they've tried to press this position, the harlots.

>>36431434
Haven't seen either of them, but considering what they are, follow the trail of destruction the leave in their wake.

>>36431362
Well, that's from firing line duty. Remember Kaurava?
Back when I was a Private, I had to help to test out the Basilisk cannons since one of them had a few blast problems. One of them blew Commissar Stubbs' hat off and he had me, some guy named Jameson and a poor little sod that I forgot. Sent us off to the firing line and along the way I found his hat. As I gave it to him he offered me a gamble. If I survive his shot I'd get to walk away and get his bolter.
So there I was, a soothing winter chill on my face and the beautiful sound of Leman Russ tanks. Poor Harrold and Jameson didn't get so lucky. It was my turn now and I couldn't help but wonder why he was pointing a flashlight at me. Oh boy did that flashlight hurt, but luckily Stubbs had to sneeze just in the right moment and I got shot in the shoulder. The blast went right through and hit some poor sod. Turned out a cultist was spying on us and the Commissar ordered the whole camp to be searched. And what do you know, by looking through the camp we found the source of the blast problems: a cultist's corpse. Lil' bastard wanted to booby trap our canon.
Oh bugger, my cigar went out, 'scuse me.

>>36431512
I think his name was Harrold anyway, I dunno.
Anyway, that's the story on how I got the lasgun. Never bothered to ask Stubbs where he got it.

>>36431495
>THAT THIS WILL SET EVEN MORE OF THE SHIP ON FIRE.

Negative I don't want to get lost on the warp on a flaming ship

How about opening the airlocks? that will take care of the fire and maybe we can jettison some of the frakkers aboard the ship

>>36431550
MASTER AIRLOCK CONTROL IS LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE

Sir, I'm getting some interference here, something about burning warp bridges. Anyone else?

>>36431434
I BELIEVE THAT HE WAS TRAVELING UPWARDS TOWARDS THE BRIDGE.

THE EXCOMMUNICATE TRATORIS WAS LAST SEEN HEADING FOR THE HANGER BAYS.

>>36429134
[A literal wall of bullets and las bolts obliterates the heretic]

>>36431722

I understand...

>>36431498
sergeant, you're doing an excellent work, you and your men keep doing the emperor's good work

*hands sergeant a couple of frak grenades* I think you will have better use for those than me

MEN OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD, KEEP FIGHTING, Sarge, I need some cover, on my signal open the blast door over there, shoot anything on the other side and close it behind me

I'll try to force my path to the bridge, see if the captain or any of the crew is still alive and will vox you when I reach my destination

>>36431872
Aye sir, Alright Men as the commissar signal light em up!

>>36431931
Ready, sir.

My group's already found the conning tower, now we're looking to make our way to the bridge. Thankfully, we've got a couple of Untouchables, luckily enough, so all this Warp silliness gets its shit wrecked the moment it gets close to us.

Every damn ship should have an Untouchable just sleeping 24/7 on top of the Gellar Field Generators, Engines, etc, if you ask me. Pity they're so damn rare.

Can anyone tell me where the astropath's sanctum is, so we can go check on him/her/whatever the hell it is?

>>36431977
Should be by the bridge if I remember right, but I pretty sure their going to be psykers so................................... yeah.

>>36431931

OPEN THE DOOR !

*the door hisses open while the remaining guards shoot their lasguns *

FOR THE EMPEROR!!

>>36432023
That's why I'm glad I've got these two Untouchables. They keep us safe from psychic bullshit, and so far we haven't run into any non-psychic bullshit that a liberal dose of hot-shot lasfire and/or explosives can't deal with.

>>36432056
Blasts away til the commissar is clear, the slams shut the door.

>>36432131
Yup, fought chaos for 5 years on my homeworld I know the score.

OI! WATCHA GITZ BE DOOIN ON ME SHIP!
I FLEW INTA DA ZAPPY-TING AND NAO MAH SHIP IZ UMIE-FIED!
IMA KRUMP YA SMELLY GUBBINZ ALL OVER DA FLOOR WIF ME DAKKA-GUNZ!

Weren't there tyranids here earlier or was that my imagination?

>>36432260

Emperor damn it, where the hell did greenskins come from?

>>36432375
I didn't even know Tyranids could go INTO the Warp! Blast it all, this one's gonna get weird, isn't it?

>>36432375
I don't think so but given this is the warp I wouldn't be surprised.

>>36432396
Son where in the Emperor's name have you been? It's BEEN weird already.

Now keep jury rigging those turrets troopers!

>>36432462
>Son where in the Emperor's name have you been? It's BEEN weird already.
>Now keep jury rigging those turrets troopers!

Sorry, my vox isn't transmitting my details. I'm the man leading the group into the conning tower. We've found the bridge...

It's empty. Completely deserted. No sign of the Captain, officers, any of the crew. There's no signs of a struggle, no signs of a fight, not even any signs that everybody bailed in a hurry. It's like everybody squared their section off and filed out in an orderly queue.

We're going to poke around and see if we can't find the Navigator's sanctum, or whatever closet the Astropath has secured himself in to cry in, or find the bridge crew.

Do any of the cogboys with you know how to fly this thing? Just in case the bridge crew have all just gone poof into the Warp?

>>36433353
DAMNIT JIM, I AM A TECHPRIEST, NOT A ASTROPATH

MAXIMUM SAFE JUMP DISTANCE: APROXIMATELY 10 LIGHT YEARS

>>36434249
My name's not Jim, and I wasn't asking if you were an astropath. I was asking if you knew which button to push to turn on the Warp Drive and drop us out of the Warp.

And, if need be, pilot us to the nearest safe-haven in realspace. It's eerie up here, it's like the ship was just abandoned for sale or something.

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RIGHT LADS, GUNS OUT FOR THE DAEMONS!

L-O-D-S OF P-U-R-I-TY
WASSIT SPELL?

LOADSA PURITY!
Prob'ly...

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Guys, I took a look in one of the torpedo tubes. Is this bad?

>>36434624
THE WARP DRIVE IS STILL UNDER REPAIRS. THE MACHINE SPIRIT HAS BEEN SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED.

ASTROPATHS ARE REQUIRED TO DETERIME OUR LOCATION IN THE WARP. NAVIGATION WITHOUT ASTROPATHS REQUIRE FREQUENT RETURNS TO REALSPACE IN ORDER TO VERIFY OUR POSITION

OK, I woke up after the Geller generator started to run, it's not going to work as well as if on full power but it'll stop most warpspawn from getting in until we can drop out of the warp

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>voxes in
ATTENTION, VESSEL EXPERIENCING GELLAR FIELD FAILURE!! IS ANY ASSISTANCE OF A MARTIAL NATURE REQUIRED??!!! OUR AUSPEX SWEEPS READ NO SIGNS OF DAEMONIC, HERETICAL, OR ALIEN INCURSION ABOARD, BUT ARE THE SACRED MACHINES BEING BLINDED??!!

WE WILL KEEP APACE TO YOUR VESSEL AND PROVIDE SUPPORT ONLY IF THERE ARE ENEMY INCURSIONS YOU CANNOT CONTAIN WITHOUT AID!!! WE ARE THE EMPEROR'S PROTECTION MADE MANIFEST!!!

SMASHFACEHAUFEN OUT!!!!

>>36434982
GET OVER HERE NOW, THERE'S STILL SOME DAEMONS AROUND, MOSTLY GREATER ONES AND WE DON'T HAVE MUCH CREW TO FIX IT!

>>36434982
We have at least one Chaos marine, nurglings, daemoneties and something a naval officer calls a bloodcrusher on board and we have less than 20% of our men left. Help would be timely honored Astartes.

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>>36435000
THE POWER OF THE TRIPLE ZERO BEARS THE VERITY OF YOUR STATEMENT!!! STANDBY FOR TELEPORT!!!

>teleports in with a Crusader Squad and Terminators

WHERE ARE THE ABOMINATIONS, GUARDSMAN?!!!!

>>36435056
Better question is where aren't they? Any place we haven't locked down tighter than an inquisitor's ass is likely to be crawling with them. *Slashes a cultist* Also watch out for chaos marines Honored Astartes at least one got blown in here. Hit him with a plasma cannon and he didn't seem to feel it much.

Hello hopefully helpless guardsmen

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>>36435098
EXCELLENT!!! WE HAVE WORK TO DO, BROTHERS!!! IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME, LET NONE SURVIVE!!!

BROTHER CHAPLAIN!!! HOLD THE BRIDGE HERE AND ENSURE THAT NO GUARDSMEN FALL VICTIM TO THE INSIDIOUS VOICES OF THE WARP!!!

>>36435130
Ignore the vice boy keep shooting those cultists!

>>36435181
Good luck with ignoring me. Also, you might want to duck

>>36435181
What voice sir?

Also the geller field in now back up so no new daemons at least, can you spare any troops to defend itr so I can go use my soullessness against any remaining daemons?

>>36435289
I didn't realize a party pooper was here. Oh well, I probably should just head back to the meeting then

>>36435231
*steps backs and skewers a cultists as she tries to recover* Oh boy this is going to be fun. Men keep shooting and killing the cultists, and some one get a psyker or an untouchable over here ASAP.

>>36435289
Apparently something out of the warp whispering around here in this area. I'll try and coordinate some men to get over there but no promises, we have a lot of charlies over here.

>>36435339
They seem to be avoiding the room because i'm here so no worries for now but I'm getting restless and the cogboy is growing weary of my presence.

>>36435339
The thing is my good Sargent, that I am nothing more than a voice. So yeah, good luck with that. Also, you got a thing which is not to be named in the next room

>>36435380
Hopefully you should have a squad of Astartes there with relief shortly, good job guardsman.

>>36435381
>>36435178
Honored Astartes they is a voice from the warp trying to talk to me and my men. Could you please send a chaplain or something down here to get it out? It's bloody annoying.

>>36435462
Oh trust me, this is nothing. You should see what happens to people's heads when I shout in them.
Also, you do realize that you just told space marines that there is something from the waep in all of your heads. You pretty much declared open season on yourself

>>36435518
Go fuck yourself Monster dealt with a chaos uprising on my homeworld before boarding this asshole of a ship. We'd all rather be dead than fall to you.

>>36435462
There's nothing talking to me so I don't mind, I just think it's all mildly amusing, and I am for once popular with people.

>>36435547
I'm not trying to make you fall. All I'm trying to do is get a reaction out of you.

>>36435462
CHAPLAIN ROARINGSMANN IS EN ROUTE, SERGEANT!!! HE WILL SHOUT DOWN ANY INSIDIOUS VOICES AND BOLSTER THE FAITH OF YOUR MEN!!!!
>>36435380
>crashes through bulkhead
WE WILL TAKE IT FROM HERE, GUARDSMAN!!! NOW BACK TO THE BRIDGE, YOUR COMRADES NEED YOU!!! TO THE WARP WITH YOU, DAEMONS!!!
>>36435518
I HEAR YOU AS WELL!!! YOUR EFFORTS TO CORRUPT THE EMPEROR'S FAITHFUL WILL AVAIL YOU NAUGHT!!!!!

>>36435570
Do you mind lowering your voice a bit?

>>36435570
PLEASE STOP MAKING HOLES IN THIS SHIP

>>36435570
Thank you my lord!

Pauses

Before I go, you have no problem with Pariahs right?

>>36435570
Thanks you Honored Astartes *blast a nurgling in the face*

>>36435612
How does it feel knowing that you shall always be a glorified mechanic?

>>36435622
NOT AT ALL, GUARDSMAN!!! YOU ARE THE ANATHEMA TO ALL WITCHES!!!
>>36435612
YOU MAY WORRY WITH YOUR ENGINEERING AFTER THE INCURSION HAS BEEN PURGED!!!!
>>36435631
HOLD THE LINE, SERGEANT!!! WE WILL PERFORM SEARCH AND DESTROY OPERATIONS THROUGHOUT THE VESSEL!!!
>>36435607
SIIIIIILLLEENCEEE!!!!!!!!!

>>36435687
You know your giving me exactly what I want

OI! WOTS A GELLAR FIELD, YOU GITS?

>>36435687
Ah good then, thank you.

*Runs off to the bridge.

There appears to be a tear in the fabric of space within my starboard cargo room. I'd appreciate if someone could look into that before I have to fill out all these forms.
*walks away sorting through papers*

>>36435720
Gork or Mork?

>>36434937
I understand that, my good Tech-Priest, but we may not still have an Astropath or a Navigator aboard. The conning tower appears deserted, nobody up here is answering any of our vox calls, we're having to search compartment-by-compartment, closet-by-closet.

The only good news is that there doesn't seem to be any warpspawn, heresy, or other silliness up here, either. We haven't seen so much as a nurgling in the lavatories since we ascended from the main hull.

Which, of course, Murphy being the bitch he is, means that they'll start pouring out of the fucking air vents the moment we let our guards down.

>>36434982
Oh, thank the Emperor, Lord Astartes. We've made contact with and lost one of your noble brethren, and we've seen (and thankfully, lost) contact with one of your foul, fallen, treasonous brethren. He was asking directions, oddly enough.

The conning tower is quiet, for now, but the Sargent down by the warp drive appears to be ass-deep in daemons, and the squad securing the Gellar Field appears to be very few in number, though thankfully they have an Untouchable with them.

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I FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING MY SIDES!!!!!

>>36435707
I CARE NOT IF THAT IS THE CASE!!!! YOU WILL BE SMITTEN BY OUR BLAZING WRATH AND FAITH IN THE GOD EMPEROR OF MAN!!!!
>>36435720
ORKS!!! ANOTHER FOE TO BE SLAIN!!! WE WILL WORRY OF HOW THEY ARRIVED HERE LATER!!!!
>>36435631
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!!!!

>>36420301
please put Quest in the subject line this isn't a unique thread

>>36435751
Look on the brightside, you will never have to deal with a being who is called nose-dick

>>36435733
I'll come right over, I seem to sort these things right out!

>>36435738
DOES DIS ANSWER YER QUESTION? NOW WHAT IS ALL THIS MUCKIN ABOUT? WHY AINT MY BOYS KRUMPIN?

>>36435767
how can you do that to a voice?

>>36435770
Sir, this man is seeing words!

>>36435782
Hey Gork, long time no see. How you been?

>>36435751
NOTIFY ME IF ANY TRAITORS SHOW THEIR WRETCHED HIDES!!!
>>36435790
YOURS IS NOT TO REASON WHY!!! YOURS IS BUT TO DIE!!!

>>36435770
Sorry kids, but its for your own good. *BLAM*
>>36435798
Keep moving Guardsman this ship is officially considered a shit sandwich that has to be fixed.

>>36435837
Oh shit, I got to go. If you see a Slannesh thing of some sort, tell it I was heading to Khorne's place. Good bye

>>36435840
I feel tired sir, I'm going to hole up in the 3rd deck armory for a few hours until I'm properly rested, if you need me just duct tape me to your back as a protective measure against warpspawn.

>>36435810
Oh, dis and dat. Lotsa fings to do since my boy thracka got sent back in time.

Now what are all dese beakies and humies worked up for?

>>36435767
I got a surprise for you, beakie. Nice and big space hulk fulla dead hard boys is headed yer way.

>>36435892
Hit the armory there are a few men still there, they could use the help you give.

>>36435911
Alright, they can strap me to an armored transport trolly and use it as transport or something, I'm just out of energy for now, all this excitement's gotten to me.

>>36435901
WE WILL HOLD AGAINST ALL YOUR KIND XENOS SCUM!!!!
>>36435911
SERGEANT!!! PREPARE YOUR MEN AND ESTABLISH STRONGPOINTS!!! WE HAVE ORKS INCOMING!!! MY TECHMARINE WILL TELEPORT SOME SURPLUS HEAVY WEAPONS TO YOUR LOCATION, MAKE GOOD USE OF THEM!!!!

>>36435932
Fair enough get some rest, you being there out to give the poor sods a break anyway.

>>36435940
Yes Honored Astartes, Men prepare to set up hardpoints and Jury rig up some turrets. If it isn't wearing a good unbroken Aquila it get shot until it dies. Any questions?

>>36435774
Hrm. For a moment, I thought I heard a faint buzzing.

All right, men, we're getting too far spread out. Everybody pull back about five meters towards your nearest Untouchable.

I sure am glad my squad has two Untouchables with us. They truely are a gift from the Emperor himself.

>>36435837
I will of course, Lord Astartes.

>>36435901
>I got a surprise for you, beakie. Nice and big space hulk fulla dead hard boys is headed yer way.

Hrm. This greenskin appears to be giving us advanced warning of the arrival of more of his kin. That's damn decent of him, for a filthy xenos.

With the help of our resident Cogboys and the voidworkers who have joined my detail, we may be able to access the weapon controls on the bridge. The Greenskins won't know what they're heading for.

>>36435940
Excuse me Lord Space Marine but do you have the right forms and certifications to be allowed to supply those weapons?

As it is stated in Departmento Munitorium Article 52e only someone with certifications 4e and 32s maybe supply these weapons to guardsmen in combat.

>>36435941
>>36435964
Har har, dis is gonna be a jolly old scrap.

This regiment has a lot of us soulless abominations if I say so myself, I thought we were rare?

Well, I'm at the armory and they've given me a bunk, may the Emperor guard you lads, night fer now.

>>36435988
THE FORM IS MY BOLTER, MY CERTIFICATION IS MY THUNDER HAMMER!!!

>>36435990
Lets see here, a few heavy bolters... nice. 2 lascannons.. very nice. more multilasers than i'd care to Go to in the armory. I think this could work.

>>36436003
Kid this regiment is what's left of a world's pdf that had been fighting a chaos uprising for 5 years, I am not surprised at all.

>>36436013
My Lord I am just trying to make sure that everything is done to regulations.

If it were not for the endless bureaucracy the Imperium would have long ago fallen to the evils of Chaos.

Weirdboy snotrot sez we got ourselves a scrap on da way! You boyz, get the tellyportas runnin again! FOR GORK AND MORK! WAAAGH!!!

>>36420301
Status update sir, the latrines are singing the song detailing the end of the universe.

What should I do about the singing?

>>36436032
THERE SHOULD BE A FEW AUTOCANNONS AND A CRATE OF HELLGUNS AS WELL, SERGEANT!!!
>>36436048
THEN BOTHER THE ORKS!!! MOST OF THEIR GEAR IS DESECRATED IMPERIAL EQUIPMENT!!!
>>36436062
BRACE, YOU SONS OF DORN!!! BRACE YOURSELVES, GOOD MEN OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD!!!

SUFFER NOT THE UNCLEAN TO LIVE!!!
LEAD US FROM DEATH TO VICTORY, FROM FALSEHOOD TO TRUTH!!!
LEAD US FROM DESPAIR TO HOPE, FROM FAITH TO SLAUGHTER!!!
LEAD US UNTO HIS STRENGTH, AND AN ETERNITY OF WAR!!!
LET HIS WRATH FILL OUR HEARTS!!!
DEATH, WAR, AND BLOOD: IN VENGEANCE SERVE THE EMPEROR IN THE NAME OF DORN!!!!

>>36436160
Awesome. Boys load up! You new guardsmen who just got here grab a hell gun or get on a heavy weapon mount we've got orks incoming. If it's green shoot it!

>>36436062
Excuse me Mr. Blitzbag but many of your soldiers weapons and armour appear to have non-regulation modifications.

*hands pile of paperwork*

If you could just work through this I'm sure that it can all be worked out in a matter most productive for you and the Munitorium.

>>36436013
With all due respect, My Lord, in my experience Munitorium scribes are Death Cultists in all but name; they're fatalistic and resigned to death in the Emperor's service.
Bribes get you better results than threats, is what I'm saying. Of course, as an Astartes, it is your right to declare anyone you name a traitor and summarily execute them...

>>36436003
>This regiment has a lot of us soulless abominations if I say so myself, I thought we were rare?
> Well, I'm at the armory and they've given me a bunk, may the Emperor guard you lads, night fer now.

In fairness, one of the ones with my squad was actually part of the ship's crew. We found him and told him we were moving out and that he was coming with us. To my surprise, we didn't even have to threaten to duct-tape him to a cart to secure his cooperation. Truly, even Untouchables know that in times such as these, all men must come together to serve the Emperor.


In other news, my team have returned to the bridge. Everyone who's nerdy is working on the weapon controls, everyone who's a demolition is wiring all the entrances and exits, and everyone else is fortifying with the contents of a store-room we found near here. It appeared to be a room full of heavy metal rates which were, themselves, full of other dense forms of packing material, just about ideal for constructing fortifications short of having found a stockpile of actual pre-fab fortifications or a room filled floor-to-ceiling with sandbags.

The Emperor provides.

>>36436160
Dat blasted mekboy! Why did we get tellyported to da latrines? And what is dis blasted racket? Boys, krump all dese silly gits before me 'ead explodes!

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>>36436231
I HAVE PAST DEALINGS WITH THIS ONE, HE KNOWS TO OBEY ME!!!
>>36436234
CHAAAAARGE BROTHERS!!! SLAY THE GREENSKINS!!!

>>36436223
Sure ting, humie. Let me fill dis out.

...wait, who are you? Don't fink you can outsmart old Blitzbag! Boys, krump him!

>>36436062
If the toilets are acting up, throw an explosive device into them from as far away as you can. Cherry bombs or M-80s would be ideal, but if frag grenades are all you have, let fly.

And for the love of the Emperor, put on a biohazard suit. Every third latrine we passed down in the main hull had nurglings crawling out of the bowls.


>>36436160
>THERE SHOULD BE A FEW AUTOCANNONS AND A CRATE OF HELLGUNS AS WELL, SERGEANT!!!
Handing out weapons, Lord Astartes? Pity we're cut off from you.

Still, we tooled up in a ship's armory at the start of this mess. Everyone in my unit is carrying Hot-Shot Lasguns and Laspistols, Chainswords, and as many explosives as we could possibly bear. We should be able to hold the bridge.

Hrm. I do wish we had a bolter turret in case of heavier than usual stuff, though. I'd put one smack in the middle of the ceiling...
> Looks up
Well! I guess the previous Captain was exactly as paranoid as I was. Somebody check that thing's ammo stocks and get it working!

>>36436326
We have more than enough ordinance down here to hold the Warp engine as well. Emperor's blessing guardsman.

Reporting for duty sirs!

I have my equipment ready and such, my trusty chainsword. Guns and all. Lovely weather.

>>36436317
Well, I've managed to board myself up in one of the toilet cubicles. Not sure how long that's going to hold out against a greenskin horde.

At least I brought along some cargo manifests, I'll just work on these till help arrives.

>>36436326
VENERABLE BROTHER GUTHRUM WILL BE JOINING YOU SHORTLY!! STANDBY, YOU WILL HAVE THE SUPPORT YOU NEED!!!
>>36436368
SERGEANT!!! WHY HAS THIS MAN SO DEFORMED HIS BODY WITH SUCH HERETICAL TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS???!!

>>36436307
GORK GUIDE MY CHOPPA! WAAAGH!!!
[Fighting intensifies]

>>36436368
What an unfortunate last name.

>>36436414
Sir those are, too my knowledge ganger tattoos and piercings. He just has one of those last names. *I'll keep an eye on him thought*

>>36436428
*ordinance barrage intensifies*

>>36436451
VERY WELL...!
>>36436428
>crushes nob's head
COME MEET MY HAMMER, GREENSKIN!!!

>>36436451
Yarrrgh... Took a lasgun to da eye. Dese humies fight like gits. Let's book it, lads! Back to da hulk!

>>36436525
Yeah get off our ship greenskin! *alright boys ease off on the ammo it isn't unlimited*

>>36436414
When you say "Venerable" Brother Guthrum, do you mean you've detailed a Dreadnought to reinforce us, My Lord?

If so, please tell him to hold position at least twenty-five meters down the main corridor, or he's going to set off our perimeter defenses. We'll need time to disable them so a Dreadnought can pass safely.

If he's just an old Space Marine in armor, though, we can talk him in through them once he makes vox contact.

>>36436525
If one of you maggots THREW your lasgun at the greenskin's eye...
Well, you made him back off. But you THREW YOUR FUCKING LASGUN!
I figure I'll balance out the need to dispense punishment and praise by simply pinning the medal right to your chest.

Well now that the ork horde has been dealt with I will return to counting the number of cracker boxes in the 4th storage hold.

Now did I get to 115 or 114.... no matter I'll just start over...

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>>36436525
YES, FLEE COWARDLY XENOS FILTH!!!

FIRE CONTROLS!!! WARM UP THE TURBOLASERS!!! BLAST THAT ORK HULK TO PIECES!!!

>>36436580
THE FORMER IS PRECISELY WHAT I MEAN!!! BUT DO NOT FEAR, HE WILL BE TELEPORTED DIRECTLY TO YOUR POSITION!!!

>>36436634
>FIRE CONTROLS!!! WARM UP THE TURBOLASERS!!! BLAST THAT ORK HULK TO PIECES!!!

Working on it, My Lord! The nerds I have with me aren't professional bridge crew, though, it may take us some
> sound of a Lance cannon firing echoes through the ship.
As I was saying, Lord Astartes, my nerds have figured out the lance controls, more or less, and will commence firing upon the target just as soon as they've worked out the targeting system.

>>36436628
>THE FORMER IS PRECISELY WHAT I MEAN!!! BUT DO NOT FEAR, HE WILL BE TELEPORTED DIRECTLY TO YOUR POSITION!!!

Oh, Squig Ploins. SAFE THAT BOLTER TURRET, NOW!

>>36436711
VERY GOOD, MY BATTLE BARGE WILL FIRE UPON THE HULK AS WELL!!! TOGETHER WE STAND A CHANCE TO DESTROY IT, BY THE EMPEROR'S GRACE!!!

HE HAS WITHSTOOD FAR WORSE THAN BOLT ROUNDS!! AND MY TECHMARINE HAS AFFIXED AN OVERRIDE BEACON TO HIS HULL!!!

>>36435640
...PRETTY GOOD ACTUALLY.

>>36436634
Sir there is now red ooze coming out of the walls. Considering its attempting to speak to me do i have permission to use a flamer on it? My bullets only made it laugh.

>>36436826
Do so with extreme prejudice Guardsman.

>>36436826
ALL MY BRETHREN AND GUARDSMEN IN POSSESSION OF HOLY FLAMERS, INCINERATE THIS UNHOLY SLIME!!!! BURN IT AWAY IN HOLY PROMETHIUM UNTIL NOTHING REMAINS!!!

>>36436826
>>36436839
>>36436874
WAIT, ARE YOU ANYWHERE NEAR CORRIDOR 28-3B? THERE WAS A MODERATELY COSTLY BATTLE THERE AND THE BLOOD MAY BE SEEPING THROUGH THE DECKS

>>36436902
I am not. Listen I am sorry my fellow guardsmen and Honored Astartes but I feel the stimulants I took to stay awake exiting my system. My men will hold The warp drive. I must rest.

>>36436902
ALL FLESH AND BLOOD WILL BE BURNED, TECHPRIEST!! IF ANY HARDWARE OF VALUE IS DAMAGED, I AM SURE IT IS WITHIN YOUR ABILITIES TO REPAIR IT!!!

>>36437038
YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF MOST CAPABLE AND COMPETENT, SERGEANT!!! I AM PLEASED TO HAVE FOUGHT AT YOUR SIDE! TAKE THIS AND REST WELL, YOU HAVE EARNED IT!!!

>hands over flask of fine space scotch, which has relaxing qualities

>>36437042
BETWEEN THE CHAOS CORRUPTION AND SUBSEQUENT BATTLE DAMAGE IT IS ENTIRELY LIKELY THE SHIP MAY CRUMBLE BENEATH OUR FEET.

>>36437155
THEN I WILL SUMMON MY TECHMARINE AND ALL AVAILABLE SERVITORS TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE!!

>>36437042
ALSO, ALL OUR COMMAND PERSONNEL, OUR ASTROPATH, AND THE MAJORITY OF OUR MECHANICUS COMPLIMENT ARE MISSING OR DEAD. THE SHIP DOES NOT HAVE THE MANPOWER TO FUNCTION

>>36437155
But if this ship crumbles all these supplies I have spent hours counting will be for naught!

You must find some way to hold this ship together. I will even lend you my 3 servitors to assist.

>>36437180
ERROR! ERROR! DO NOT BRING SERVITORS ABOARD THIS SHIP. OUR NETWORKS HAVE NOT BEEN SANITIZED.

01010011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01100101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100011 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01110101 01110000 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01110110 01101001 01100100 01110101 01100001 01101100 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01001101 01001001 01010101 00100000 01101001 01101101 01110000 01101100 01100001 01101110 01110100 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010010 01110101 01101110 00100000 01001110 01101111 01110010 01110100 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110100 01101111 01100011 01101111 01101100 01110011 00100001

>>36437197
...DO YOUR STORES INCLUDE DUCT TAPE?

>>36437191
>>36437197
HERE IS WHAT SHALL BE DONE: I SHALL CONTRIBUTE ALL MY AVAILABLE RESOURCES TO THE REPAIR OF THIS SHIP! I HAVE TWO NAVIGATORS UNDER MY COMMAND, ONE SHALL GUIDE THIS SHIP TO THE NEAREST SAFE PORT, WHILE WE ESCORT!! MY ASTROPATH HAS ALREADY NOTIFIED THEM OF YOUR PLIGHT, AND INFORMED THEM THAT WE ARE EN ROUTE!! I BELIEVE THAT BETWEEN MYSELF AND THE IMPERIAL GUARD COMMANDERS, WE SHA-

>>36437237
DAMNNATION!!!! TECHMARINE, HELP THEM TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION, SO THAT OPERATIONS MAY PROCEED!!!

Slime was destroyed sirs, but the warp appears to be shifting- OH EMPEROR ABOVE WHAT IS THAT THING- *Heavy gunfire and demonic screaming*
(Comms go off)

>>36437191
About that.

With the very Venerable Brother Guthrum on the bridge to hold things down, I'm splitting my squad. Most of the nerds, half of my demolitionists, grunts, and Untouchables will remain on the bridge, the rest of us are going to try and find the bloody command staff, starting with making a beeline for the Navigator's Sanctuary.

>>36437255
We have 13 crates of duct tape available for your use in this extraneous circumstances.

>>36437320
ALL IS WELL. ESSENTIAL REPAIRS WILL BE COMPLETED WITHIN THE HOUR. PRAISE THE OMNISSAIAH.

>>36437274
YET MORE TO SLAY! IF I DID NOT LIVE FOR BATTLE, THIS WOULD BECOME MOST TIRESOME!!
>>36437303
VERY GOOD, TROOPER, YOU HAVE DEMONSTRATED ABILITY! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!

>>36437368
*Comes sprinting into the room*
DEAMON INCOMING SHOOT IT DOWN!!
*Runs for cover and pulls out las gun*

00110000 00101111 00100000 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101111 01101110 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101100 00100000 01100100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110101 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01100110 01110101 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 00110000 00101111 00001010

BE ADVISED, IF YOU SEE A TECHPRIEST SKIPPING DOWN THE CORRIDORS REMAIN CALM. IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. PROBABLY.

>>36437320
Help, I tried duct-taping a hole in the lower decks plasma reactor 728-B and I seem to be stuck. On the plasma reactor. There's a odd looking lady with some very explicit tatoos laughing and going on about tape play. I would like a ha---iee, that tickles.

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Congratulations on our victory. Please, rest yourselves and dine to gain strength in case of another ork incursion.

With all this spare meat, we will be able to provision ourselves for weeks!

>>36437361
Though I will have to fill out many forms to explain to the departmento chief in this sector why his duct tape didn't arrive. *sigh*

>>36437462
>seizes daemon by its throat, slams it against the bulkhead, throws it to the deck, and stomps its head in
>withering glare of suspicion
I FIND IT HIGHLY CURIOUS THAT YOU SURVIVED THE BEAST'S VERY SUDDEN ATTACK, WITH THE GELLAR FIELD RESTORED!!!

>>36437485
I WILL CREATE SERVITORS FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF FILLING OUT THAT PAPERWORK

01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00101110 00001010

ALSO, I HAD ENCOUNTERED A DAEMON IN THE CAFETERIA. LACKING THE FIREPOWER TO KILL IT, I HAVE IMMOBILIZED THE CREATURE WITH COPIOUS QUANTITIES OF DUCT TAPE

File: Event_Horizon.jpg (41 KB, 726x248)

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Good day gentlemen, nice weather we are having.

>>36437617
Indeed, I see you have ingested your eyes in order to cast aside the shackles of mere flesh-sight. Do you feel the winds of the Warp caress your tender sockets?

>>36437368
>VERY GOOD, TROOPER, YOU HAVE DEMONSTRATED ABILITY! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!

It's >Vox static burst< My Lord. We're at the Astropath's sanctum's antechamber now, My

... WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! >>36437482 POP FRAGS! Hose the fucking room!
> Sounds of several grenades going off, then extra-vigorous lasgun fire.
Emperor! Some of that shit's still moving! Incendiaries, NOW!
> Tink, tink, tink, *SLAM* *FWOOOOMPH!*

.....

So, minor setback. The antechamber to the Navigator's sanctum is on fire. Also full of pulsating, moving meat which is, if the Emperor wills it, vigorously burning off as we speak.

Cogboys, any alternate routes into the Navigator's Sanctum, or are we going to have to go through the meat-room?

>>36437617
>BLAM

>>36437596
BROTHER PETRANOV!! TAKE YOUR NEOPHYTE AND DISPATCH THE CREATURE!!

>>36437672
There is a backdoor by the galley which my servitors were sometime used to deliver items in and out of the sanctum without having to use the long route, Trooper.

>>36437672
I SEE! YOUR NAVIGATOR IS NO LONGER LIVING, TROOPER! I HAVE ALREADY SENT FOR MY SECONDARY NAVIGATOR TO TAKE HIS PLACE UNTIL SAFE PORT IS REACHED! CONTINUE TO CLEAR THOSE CHAMBERS!!

The men that were with me died.......

I failed them.
I should've been quicker.
I should have died instead.

>>36437672
HMM...YES, TECHNICALLY. YOU WILL REQUIRE VOID SUITS AND CUTTING TOOLS.

REROUTE THROUGH THE A46 CORRIDOR, TAKE THE AIRLOCK ON YOUR LEFT. THE AIR LOCK DOES NOT LEAD OUTSIDE BUT IS LEFT DEPRESSURIZED FOR INSULATION REASONS. CONTINUE STARBOARD FOR 19 METERS AND OPEN THE HATCH TO ENTER THE CRAWL SPACE. ENTER THE CRAWL SPACE AND SEAL THE HATCH. CONTINUE FOR ANOTHER 15 METERS AND CUT THROUGH THE DECKPLATE DIRECTLY ABOVE YOU.

>>36437714
HAS THE ASTARTES ALREADY DEALT WITH THE DAEMON THERE?

>>36437751
THAT WISH CAN BE FULFILLED THIS VERY INSTANT!!!! BUT I WILL GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO REDEEM YOURSELF!! STAY WITHIN MY SIGHT UNTIL YOU ARE SLAIN BY THE FOE, OR UNTIL YOU HAVE PROVEN YOUR LOYALTY AND DONE YOUR DUTY!!!

>>36437817
Petranov is on his way there now I believe.

>>36437817
BROTHER GUTHRUM IS PURGING THEM AS WE SPEAK!!!

>>36437846
Lord Marshall how many Marines do you have aboard this ship?

>>36437888
THIRTY THREE, INCLUDING MYSELF AND VENERABLE BROTHER GUTHRUM!

>>36437818
SIR I WILL NOT FAIL YOU!

>>36437934
HM! A PROPER ATTITUDE, GUARDSMAN!!

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>>36437672
AUghghghghghggh! Such sweet agony! I taste delicious!

>>36437930
hmmmmmm
*notes all down in a book hanging by a cord from belt*

Thank you my Lord.

*walks away to go count more boxes*

>>36437846
My Lord, do you mean to say that you have under your command both a Brother Guthram and a Venerable Brother Guthram?

Half of my my men and I are in the conning tower, at the Astropath's sanctuary. The other half, I left on the bridge under the watchful eye of Venerable Brother Guthram. Has he left to purge enemies elsewhere?

That said, I will note that we have not confirmed yet our Navigator's death, merely that the antechamber to his Sanctum is full of Warpspawned horrors. While this doesn't bode well, he may yet survive.

>>36437714
>>36437792

Hrm... If there is Warpy silliness in the Antechamber, it's probably either infested the Sanctum, or has surrounded it, in which case it's likely spread to the galley as well. Either way, it's not going to expect us to carve through the deck with bloody lascutters.

I'm taking my squad to procure the voidsuits and lascutters, after we've sufficiently booby-trapped the Sanctum Antechamber door. Anything that comes out of there is going to get blown to bits.

> What's that, Private?

Ah, does anyone have a Priest or a Chaplain handy? One of my privates - the soldiers of low rank, not my genitals - has just related to me a story he heard in a pub of a group of Guardsmen who had to deal with Warpy nonsense on a ship. Apparently, they found that adding holy icons to explosives as shrapnel was very effective. While it is just a pub story, it makes sense to my way of thinking. Does anyone of a holy bent have any input or guidance on the matter?

On a completely related note, my scrounger has just procured an entire push-cart laden with holy icons - aquilae badges, emblems of the Ecclesiarchy, etcetera.

>>36438018
GO SEE CHAPLAIN ROARINGSMANN ON THE BRIDGE AND HE WILL BLESS YOUR WEAPONS AND ICONOGRAPHY!!!

AND THERE IS ONLY ONE VENERABLE GUTHRUM! HIS PREFIXES MAY OR MAY NOT BE USED, DEPENDING ON THEIR EXPEDIENCY IN COMMUNICATIONS!

>>36420334
wait plothole frodo

besides its better when its not about plotholes

>>36438018
Soldier I think you'll find those icons are destined for a shrineworld, and as the apparent only living member of the Munitorum here would very much appreciate it if you returned them to their crates in the cargo hold.

>>36438076
Ah, I see. Brother Guthram was detailed to use the might of his venerable Dreadnought chassis to smite daemons elsewhere, and Chaplain Roaringsmann was detailed to his place on the bridge. Thank you for clarifying that, My Lord.

Once we've finished securing this door, we'll get right down there. You can never have enough ammunition, ordnance, or holiness.

>>36438097
Apparently, priests find "we used it to blow up some heretics/daemons" to be quite the compelling reason for the destruction of holy icons. In either case, I'll fill out the requisite paperwork to commandeer these goods when this mess is sorted.

That would be forms J-79 and Z-10, Field Appropriation of Other Sundry Goods and Field Appropriation Form Filing Ex-Post-Facto, right?

>>36438018
INTACT HOLY ICONS WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN FRAGMENTED ONES.

ALSO, REMEMBER TO WEAR YOUR CARAPACE ARMOR OUTSIDE YOUR VOIDSUITS.

>>36438202
Ecclesiarcy cross-training, Cogboy?

While I expect that intact holy icons would be more harmful to daemons, we haven't got any effective way to smite them with intact icons that won't result in us being eviscerated by them. If the holy shrapnel will be more effective than explosives alone, then it's a trump card I'm willing to deploy.


And yes, we figured that out. Thankfully, the professional voidsuiters with us pointed out that the voidsuits were designed for just that.

>>36438187
THE BRIDGE IS SECURE AS OF NOW, TROOPER! THE CHAPLAIN AND MYSELF SHALL JOIN YOU AT THE NAVIGATOR'S SANCTUM, AND MORE OF MY BRETHREN ARE CONVERGING THERE! IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE LAST SECTORS TO PURGE OF ABOMINATIONS!

>>36438187
Well, I see you must of done this many times before if you can remember the forms.

Very well, do with it as you like,I'll be in the port cargo hold picking cleaning the mess the daemons left.

>>36438275
Understood. We're still wiring explosives into the antechamber hallway... So I suppose we'll have to start un-wiring them if you plan to do a manual purge.

We'll be here.

>>36438285
After the first time your regiment on leave eats Five Alarm Rotgut Chili and occupies an entire deck's worth of lavatories only for it to be realized that there's not a scrap of toilet paper to be found on the entire deck, forcing you to run to the nearest cargo hold and commandeer several pallets of toilet paper... You don't forget the paperwork.

>>36438273
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE IN AN INQUISITORIAL RETINUE. SERVICE ENDED WHEN SAID INQUISITOR DECIDED TO CHALLENGE A DAEMON PRINCE TO A DUEL. RETINUE DISBANDED, MEMBERS REASSIGNED. WAS GIVEN THIS POSITION DUE TO THE HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF DAEMONIC ENCOUNTERS.

I'm back

>>36438384
WE WILL PERFORM BOTH!

>>36438425
My condolences. We had a Rupert with us years ago. Not a bad officer by any means, as far as Ruperts go, but he was duel-happy. He'd challenge anything to a duel.

The fool got his head blown off when he challenged some heretek to a duel. The heretek wasn't having any of that, and had some kind of gigantic rifle above his shoulder like a cannon.

>>36438494
Both? Oh, you mean lead with the explosives, and then go in and purge manually? Got it. We'll have detpacks prepped and strapped with holy iconography, just awaiting blessing and deployment.

>>36438794
WE ARE READY!

>BOOOOM... FOOOOSH

>removes helm
Well trooper that seems to be the last of it... Do you percieve any remaining threats?

>>36439088
Hello

>>36439123
>yawns, lights cigar

>>36439142
Eh, I'll take what I can get. Wait, since when do you guys smoke?

>>36439150
Some of us do. We are not all rigid statues of asceticism. A healthy balance is to be found. Which is why you'll have no luck in attempting to get in my mind. There is no insecurity for you to latch on to, whether I am helmed or unhelmed.

>>36439088
>Sweeping the Antechamber with the rest of the squad.

"Not in here, sir. The fire we used earlier and the holy shrapnel we set off this time seems to have done the trick."

> Shoots a head-like bit attached to a charred, shredded meaty thing, just to be sure.

And I suspect that having the Untouchable with us is helping to keep the damn things down.

> Move to the Navigator's Sanctum inner doors.

Shall we, My Lord?

>>36439201
Actully I need you to turn of the fellas field so I can leave

>>36439207
Indeed. The moment of truth awaits.
>hefts hammer at the ready, Templars load bolters

>>36439220
And let more of you in? I think not. we can suffer the presence of one invisible daemon for a while.

>>36439247
*readies pen and notebook*
Yes, thought I might turn up just for this special moment.

>>36439270
And why not? Perhaps any horrors lurking within will be immobilized by your red tape.

>>36439247
Right, My Lord.

> Arrays room-clearing squad; orders to flash and sweep, but NOT to fire unless fired upon or target identified which is unquestionably Daemonic.

>>36439270
.....

Right, here.

> Hands the Clerk a Hot-Shot Laspistol.

Do not shoot me, any of my men, the Navigator - unless he's possessed or something - or the Astartes.

> Go, go, go!

>>36439359
I see. So this must be where that voice from the warp is hiding...

Bloody Warp, sir - I mean, My Lord. It's empty.

> Peers around the Navigator's Sanctum; inscribed with runes and decorated, gilded and golden, and completely devoid of Navigator, Warpspawned hellbeast, or indeed, anything at all which is animate.

I should be glad, but somehow, emptiness is more troublesome. Just because you can't see the enemy doesn't mean he can't see you.

>>36439657
Lord Marshal, *hands piles of paper* these words appear to be moving on the page.

What could it mean?

>>36439759
First: I think you have me confused with the Lord Astartes here.

Second: It generally means "purge the damn thing with fire."

> Closes the notebook, takes out an incindiary grenade, uses a rubber band to strap the notebook to the incindiary in a manner which will not prevent pulling the pin or the spoon ejecting.

My Lord Astartes? Shall I dispose of this, or do you wish to investigate it?

>>36439657
Hmmm... Well Guardsman, you are in command now. The Chaplain and a Crusader squad will remain here. I will send my secondary navigator here to guide the ship safely to port. The thread is clearly gone for the time being, but let us be aware.
>>36439759
>burns them
I do not know, and I should not know. Clearly the Navigator was at the center of what has transpired here. Anything else amiss, that you notice?

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*looks around*

Where am I?

*turns and sees the corpse of a demon that died choking on a guardsman it was trying to eat*

*Tau swear words*

>>36439798
Taken care of, Captain. If we were a chapter that employed witches and librarians, we might investigate. As it is, we have always found it better to never even approach the machinations of the enemy, but destroy them utterly.

>>36439813
>Hmmm... Well Guardsman, you are in command now. The Chaplain and a Crusader squad will remain here. I will send my secondary navigator here to guide the ship safely to port. The thread is clearly gone for the time being, but let us be aware.

I am in command, my Lord?

Right. Our first priority is returning to realspace somewhere approximating safety. The ship's been seriously incurred upon, so it's going to need to be carefully swept, bow to stern, conning tower to... Whatever you call that little spiked tower that sticks out the bottom opposite the conning tower.

Unless you intend to detail all of the Marines on your Barge to that task, we should take the ship somewhere that people who specialize in doing just that can be found.

Once that's done, we find some Medicae competent to check over everyone aboard who's survived, make sure nobody's infected with rotyouinsideoutitis, then it's sack time. Once the purge is underway, we can look into contacting the Navy to send another crew to take control of the damn thing.

Honestly, I don't even know the name of this damn ship. We've been on and off different ships so many times, it's kind of a blur.

>>36439852
>"My Lord, the auspex has picked up Tau signatures"
Eh? How could that creature have gotten here? Matters not, there's only one. A low priority.

>>36439918
This just keeps getting more complicated...

> Sighs
At least it's not more bloody greenskins or addled Chaos lunacy. And if he just materialized here out of nowhere...

I almost feel sorry for the bastard.

>>36439907
Don't forget about counting every box and all its contents to make sure everything is in the correct place. Otherwise we'll have even more forms to fill out.

>>36439918
>>36439955
If I may say Tau are actually capable of reasonable thought so if there's just the one of them we could prob just talk to him, no need to mess up more of the ship.

>>36439957
That's a low priority. Somewhere south of sack time. Not everyone here has the constitution of an Astartes, mortal men require sleep to function.

Maybe the cogboy can detail some servitors to help you with that.

>>36439907
Quite right - Captain. Yes, I will send for another squad from my battle barge to assist in the sweep for any more incursions. Additionally, my Apothecary will assist in the medicae operations. You will need his help.
>>36439955
Pity is a feeling that does indeed almost come to mind. It will only take a squad of your men to apprehend the xeno.
>>36439957
That is your purview.

>>36439983
I'm inclined to agree. One Tau is not likely to be a significant threat unless he has one of those big Dreadnought-like thingies. And if he's here all alone, he probably just wants to get home.

If we promise not to purge him, he'll probably be more than happy to sit still and not cause us any trouble.

*kicks out all the dead bodies, locks doors, settles down to plan*

Wanted to continue but dang I need sleep

>>36439991
Oh, do not let legends and augmentations deceive you. We are still men, not men like you but still men. So we do require sleep eventually. And it is about that time.
>>36440021
We can promise nothing to xenos, but yes, leaving this one alive is acceptable. For now.
>>36440031
>goes up to locked door
Now, I hate all xenos, but I especially despise you Tau, in all your audacity to challenge Mankind. But I shall grant you some continued existence.... Do not go anywhere...

>>36440006
Captain? I'm just a Staff Sargent, and unless the Emperor himself gives me transfer papers, I'll be damned if I let them try to make me responsible for this flying grox-heap for good.

> Gets on the vox, communicates whilst awaiting the arrival of the Navigator.

Well, it seems that the silliness is subsiding. The Gellar Field's getting its shit together; perhaps the proximity of your Battle Barge and its intact field is strengthening it. It's a mess down there, but vital areas are secured - and secured well.

We do have that Traitor Marine on the loose, though, unless he saw fit to depart with the Orks. And some other Loyalist Marine is probably still running around here, not answering any of my vox calls.

I can't raise most of the Regiment, though. The officer corps is MIA, as are the Commissariat, the medicae... The motor pool got through just fine, though. Those crazy bastards were sleeping in their vehicles when this mess went down, and they fired them up. Apparently, when daemons showed their ugly heads in the cargo bay they're holding, they regretted it immediately.

Oh, and apparently that Tau has fortified himself in a compartment. We're just going to leave him there and set up a barricade on the other side of the hall, barring a cogboy informing us that it's some vital compartment in which he could sabotage the entire ship.

>>36440157
All right. Things are quiet, I'm starting to get loopy.

Everyone has orders. The fortified positions are being reinforced by fresh troops, and your Astartes are better suited to scouting the wilds of the ship than the rest of us.

I'm calling for the troops who've been on their feet since this mess began to stand down, find someplace quiet, free of warp silliness and preferably covered in holy iconography to pitch bedrolls, sling hammocks, or whatever they've got, and catch some sack-time.

If you and the Astartes who came here in the first wave with you, Lord Marshal, are fatigued, I'd advise you give similar orders.

((It's 2 AM here, bedtime! Catch this thread in the morning.))

>>36440157
This will do, Sergeant.
>chuckles
Forgive me, you are acting captain until further notice. You have got the ship under control, and it would be better for your men to take orders from you. I can only advise you and provide might for combat. But my knights can act as officers of a fashion until you get your command structure in order.

I foresee a commission in your future, sergeant. Even if your commanders have survived, they are sure to be stripped of their position.

>>36440282
And a good rest to you, sergeant. I shall retire as well.

Shall we see if we get get a detailed report of this filed away? I'm sure the Admins will want copies sent to them.