>>36413926
First adventure is exploring a Rogue Trader's vessel.

>>36413926
Is our talented drawfag still around? Can anybody post pics from the last thread? Is OP of the new thread as faggy as the OP of thread 1?

AW fuck yea that shit was great.

>>36414003
Ya called?

>>36413926
Greetings all. writefag from the last one reporting.

>click
>soundgrot floats past the camera while rolling a cigarette
>Aerwen is doing her best to hang on to her helmet. While upside down.
"Hello viewers! We are going into space! We have snuck aboars a Monkeigh shuttle and are on our way to a Monkeigh craft world. They call the "red merchants" or "rouge traders"

I DO NOT FEEL VERY WELL

"The monkeigh generally do have anti gravity but it appears to be powered by their bonesingers hitting the generator with a wrench and no one has come down to the hold to do that for some time"

>the camera pans across the hold. We see many many boxes with adeptus mechanicus symbols.

Let's go exploring shall we?

>>36414655
We need to know more about the soundgroot

>>36414655
>we are looking at the landing bay of an imperial merchant vessel. Plasma torches burn, wild beasts are lead from ships. The shuttle has passed through the force field that protects the bay from the void and a group of several hundred straining slaves work to pull the bay doors shut with ropes.
>Aerwen is still upside down

Now look over there! We see one of the finest monkeigh traditions and it gives a real insight into these primitive creatures.

Their technology may be nothing compared to the Eldar but just look how hard they work to make up for it! For creatures most Eldar dismiss as animals they have created some wonders, the dishwasher for example. However what we see here isn't just their technology but their compassion.

Their are trillions upon trillions of humans out there and everybody has a job. No human left behind. All revelling in work and with a purpose! So like us in their primitive ways!

>a slave is crushed to a bloody screaming pulp in the doors

Aw hell yeah...

Hey drawfag, if you're up to it, could you draw our intrepid hostess, along with Dave and Soundgrot running from Guardsmen who are shooting at them?

>>36414735
He really needs a voice like Barry White to go with his inexplicably handsome face.

>>36414797
>>36414735
Soundgrot must remain a mystery wrapped within an enigma. Unknowable bizzarre and mysterious. Like the face of god.

>>36414789
Whelp, nothing short of a good two ours of writing if I want to draw it right. Provide me with entertainment and I'll do it though.
Also dropping my nametag for reasons explained in yesterday thread.

>>36414827
.....somehow this sounds like the best possible course of action, and just fits somehow

>>36414827
Wouldn't a baritone sexvoice only add to the mystery though?
After all, what's more mysterious than a little grot with the face of a Male Model Marine, a voice that makes Sororitas faint in pleasure, and a past that only he knows of, and refuses to talk about?

>>36414854
As the one who came up with your extended title, I agree and again applaud your humility. I'll provide some material for you once I get back to my PC

>>36414735
Especially, why the fuck is it a grot
AND
what happens, when our intrepid explorers run into orks?

>>36414904
Thank you anon. I look forward to see what you got.

Fuck, I can't find my copy of Battle Chasers. This will slow me down as that comic is one of my main sources of inspiration- at least when it comes to serious works.
Seriously guys, grab it if you find it, Joe Madureira is fucking ace.

smut/r34 WHEN?

>>36414989
next smut thread, maybe. Strong emphasis on MAYBE. These threads are sacred ground.

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>>36414989
We went over this in the last thread, anon...

>>36414863
I agree,thats way better then my suggestion
>>36414942

soundgrot should just exist, no why, no how, just be.

Captcha humans policyC

>>36414782
>we are following Aerwin down a corridor, she has commandeered a space suit and (Pith helmet aside) could easily be mistaken for an Eldar pretending to be a human.

>A reflection in a porthole shows that Dave is still wearing the hat. Soundgrot is nowhere to be seen and yet every so often a trail of lazy smoke drifts into shot.

Huuush look! Up ahead! Primitive bonesingers!

>a techpriest is massaging what looks awfully like a toaster with holy oils. He looks very into it.

Let's get a closer look! Excuse me fellow human what does this device do?

>I have no idea
>breaks down into binary tears

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>>36414989

>>36414989
smut here is:
Aerwin accidentally stumbling into a mess, or getting a, usually false, explanation for human behaviour

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>>36415077
Well said, anon.

Same old drawfag here.
I actually came out with a crazy idea but I want your approval teegee.
I'm making a comics page out of this. yay/nay?

>>36415181
yea

>>36415181
A thousand times yea!

>>36415181
all of my yes

>>36415181
YAY
A
Y

Do it

>>36415181
Do you even have to ask?
It's yay by the way

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currently working on it. I don't feel like doing french stuff so it will be american comics. Maybe I'll borrow something from Stuart Immonen. Or rather, I'll be gifted it.
Pic unrelated, just something I'm currently working on so that you can have an idea of how I do this kind of things (hint, not that well.)

>>36415539
Shit drawfag, that's as good as anyone I've seen.

Just let not this thread die before I'm done.

>>36415782
All the time in the world, mon ami.
>are you french or a brit?

>>36415020
Okay that captcha gave me a theme
my first:

In a wide city central areal, a crowd of dissheveled humans is gathering, shouting, holding torches and waving with banners. As common for imperial architecture, the place is decorated with statues dedicated to the imperial cult.

Now, see this, many humans are gathering together,let's see why....

The shouting gets angrier, big golden doors of a palace come into view, some rotten fruits are thrown.

Splash one fruit hits the helm of Aerwin

Nono, viewers, this is not really dangerous, you see all theses statues, the crowd is bemoaning their bad harvest, look how angry they are. Of course, praying does not help the food to grow, but they find relief in collectivly expressing their sorrow. It splash is truly fascinating, no?
Let's take a closer look, the high priest is about to appear.

>>36415831


The golden doors open, many arbites in riot gear with tear gas and batons appear, the crows stumbles backwards.

Oh my! What will happen now?

The chorus grows wilder, some slogans [Not another tax! Down with Governor Plitino! We can't take it anymore!] can be understood through the noise. The arbites start to beat the crowd into submission.

Aerwin seems saddened

Now viewers, this is unfortunatly a depressing part of the human worship of their god, but, we need to look at it closely to better understand humanity. You see, the human cult is based upon suffering as an offering. By administering this, the acolythes of the high priest take the offering of human pain to their god-emperor. Shh, don't be afraid there is no psychic presence involved, this is just a made up ritual.

Some lesser building start to burn, we see an arbites limping to a relativly quiet corner, resting on a trashbin.

I know, some of you viewers would like to see more of this, but splash (half the screen is covered in a yellowish slime, some seeds can be seen floating down in it) it is getting a bit close for an uninvolved view of this sacred ritual.

Loud shouting can be heard [Are you with the govenor] by a crowd that runs toward the, now blurred camera, while Aerwin run away alongside the screen, gracefully as always. Machinegun fire can be heard in the background.....

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>>36415831
>>36415851

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>>36415813
Actually, italian
>shocking revelations

You know what? Space marines' pauldrons look even more sillier to me while drawing them

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Seems like the Bloody Magpies have been gifted a spot in my drawings.
>>36415923
seconded

>>36415933
eh, silly is an easily ascribed word to most parts of 40k.

Though it is confirmed in that I feel that those should be a bit bigger. That size looks like Scout pauldrons

And now I want to show you the remarkable work ethic of some humans.

Servitor comes into view

you see, this human has to work the overflow valve of the nearby dam, if he makes a mistake, the entire town down this hill is flooded. we have observed him doing this for the last 36h nonstop and he hasn't flinched once.

Aerwin gently pats on his hairless head, servitor does not react

such dilligance, he won't even be distracted for a moment

makes grimaces, waves hand in front of him, dances around him while humming

He also is not interested in joy. This heroic example shows, that even we eldar, can sometimes learn from the humans

servitors eyes, void of emotion, come into view,a monotonous voice is heard

Please citizen, step away, I need to access the valve control panel behind you

see, the state of mind they can put themselves into, to serve their people at large. These individuals must be cherished gurus of their community.

>>36414904
As I promised here, will now provide a scene
>>36416276
She is so touchingly naive

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>>36416360
Seems like non care about htis thread anymore. A shame, realy. Maybe I'd better stop drawing and start again when this thing come up again.

>>36416729
>>36416230
>>36415933
>>36415539
Amazing stuff anon. Is this your first drawfaggy contribution? Because I see a lot of promise in your style.

>in a small feudal world city beneath a Space Marine fortress monastery

It seems that the humans here owe loyalty and reverence to the residents of that structure on the escarpment. Lets see what the lives of these humans are like.

>in the shadows of the alleyways
Such quaint charm! The humans here live so very peaceful lives. Their masters on the hill must be most kind to protect their simple way of life and not force advancement upon them. Look there! They engage in playful sport with their masters!

>a young boy, a potential recruit duels with a Marine in a test of aptitude, boy makes a mistake and is knocked out, his neck broken

Oooh, and even so, the masters must demonstrate their superiority. Surely that youth will recover.

Eh, that's all I have. Frankly, I don't think I can get in her mind very well. I excel at writing from the perspective of Imperium and Chaos. As a result, such innocent sweetness is foreign to me and that is why I find Aerwin so fascinating.

I'll just give appropriate commentary and make requests from here

>>36416729
Nonsense anon. keep it up unless youre tired.

In fact, I think its better that its this slow. No faggots shitting things up

>>36416779
Watching some Cadians fighting dark elder while dave watches with popcorn.

>>36416764
Well I started with the Aerwin thing, so it is kinda true. I always wanted to drawfag for teegee but since drawing for the comics academy takes away most of my time I never tried.

>>36416764

Reminds of Inkeranon wherever he went.

>>36416800
You asking me to write this, anon?
>>36416806
Hey man, heres your chance. Aerwin is your baby now. We trust you to take care of her

>>36416834
Just throwing out an idea i'd write but my prose sucks.

>>36416799
fact is, I AM tired. Also tomorrow I have nothing to do so I could just draw this better and maybe actually use the brush to lay the ink instead of fucking marking pens.
>>36416834
I eagerly accept.

>>36416806
You're off to a good start then.

I know this is crazy, but hre's my number :^)consider drawing this or another idea into a short, closed comic. If it's complete I'm sure some digital artist would spring to colour it. And then you will be loved by all.

>>36416851
Sounds good man. Feel free to writefag if you wish, but it must be awful late in Europe right about now.

>>36416848
Mkay... Perhaps I can deliver a bit later, when I get the creative gears turning

>>36416888
>And then you will be loved by all.
Whelp, I do this more for the sake of drawing that because I like to receive attention, and this is why I did not put a nametag. My work here on teegee is not mine, it is just everyone's. I just need to draw things.
>>36416918
1.11 actually, so not THAT awful but since I sleep 5 hours every night lately I am kinda tired on a daily basis. I nearly dropped asleep during class at the academy today.

>>36416961
Cool. No rush this thread doesn't seem to be blowing up like last one.

>>36416973
Dude.... that's been me this semester. My grades have suffered for it. We'd understand if you didn't produce anything more until your school is out. Do you get a winter break like we do in America?
>>36416978
Yeah man. It is slow but I like it this way. Lets foster an exchange of ideas until stuff gets produced

>>36417039
Yeah if I get more ideas i'll post them. Work left my brain have fried though so no promises.

>>36417039
Kinda. Comics academy is closed between July and September and for two weeks starting on 23 december, but I usually got to work on the winter pause since they just give as a fuckton of pages to do while we are at home.
Not to mention meanwhile I'm attending university

>>36417099
Dang man. Well I guess this is one of the things that keeps you going.
>>36417079
No worries. I'm doing a history paper at the same time as this, and I'm not a good multitasker...

Writefag returns

>Still aboard the good ship ROUGETRADER

Ok viewers around this corner is a very special type of human. You see humans can mutate so that they have a third eye, as humans are naturally half blind, it allows them to be 3/4 blind. For some reason these humans are considered lucky and used to pilot their spaceships. Some even say they can see into the future. Let's see if we can catch him!

>our intrepid explorer leaps around the corner, mid Venusian Aikido strike

>Ha! I saw that coming Xeno witch! Prepare to die!

>the camera shakes and we see the ceiling

WRAITH PUNCH

>readjusts her hat

Phew he's a feisty one viewers!

>The camera pans down, Aerwin is sitting on the frankly distressed looking Navigators chest.

The reason we suspect that humans have no composure is that they have no spirit stones. I'm gonna tag this one with one and release him back into the wild...now hold still!

>>36417243
Just curious, do we like how she is developing in these?

>>36417243
>>36417264
Definitely like it myself. Shes got some spunk, while being cute. I have an idea that she captures a Catachan private to do some studies on, but I'm not sure how to make that unfold. Like I said earlier, I can write from his perspective easily but I have trouble with hers.

>>36417264
>You see humans can mutate so that they have a third eye, as humans are naturally half blind, it allows them to be 3/4 blind.

I loved this bit

>>36417209
Well, drawfag walking away. I'll be working on that drawing when I got time and obviously I'm always eager to read more about Aerwin and getting inspired by it.

>>36417460
Aight man. Well goodnight, we'll have plenty for you to go on. Refer to the 1d4chan page for anything more that gets posted, if no thread is here about it

Anyone still lurking? If not, we'll start again sometime tomorrow, hopefully after everyone is done with thanksgiving

>>36418521
i'm still here.

>>36418572
Any new ideas?

>>36418521
lurking here

>>36418597
Sorry brain is fried, only thing I can think off is for Aerwin to accidentally destroy a tank she's studying by some cute fluke.

>>36416729
I love your art style.

>>36418599
Kay. tell us what youd like to see and we'll put it in the list of ideas
>>36418646
in the pile it goes

>>36418739
How about a short about the fallen or just dark angels in general for extra irony? Or abhumans like squats, felinids, or ratlings?

>>36418791
Abhumans can be done. Not sure about Dark Angels though, probably too deep for her to get into.

What about her trying to document the Legion Of The Damned.

>>36418900
That's a cool idea. Its something the Eldar would be very nervous about

How about one about titans in general? Of course she would be comparing them to Eldar one's and being condescendant about it i guess.

>>36419149
Yeah I can see that for sure.

"Just look at the massive mon'keigh war machine! Such wanton destruction it can cause! I can't imagine..."

Although, her attitude is not so much condescending as it is more "these creatures are so crude, but so fascinating". To her we are cute and intriguing.

Fucking jetlag I'm in court in seven hours.
>the camera pans across a parked cadian armoured division. The tanks lie idle. Serried ranks of gun barrels raised. Crews sit on hulls or brew up. Others smoke, some play cards.
>hundreds of guardsmen are at rest
>Our camera pans downward to a pair of large wraith feet. Standing either side of the commanders hatch of a Leman Russ.
>The hatch of the Leman Russ tank lifts.
>out pops Aerwen.

We have to be very quiet here. There's lots of Monkeigh around. We have come to get a closer look at one of their crude fighting devices. The first thing you will notice is it has no hover capabilities. The popular theory is that it runs on pure Monkeigh positive thinking, the less popular notion is instead it appears to be powered by controlled explosions which drive the two large snakes. But that's rubbish. Snakes. Hah.

The turret is very crampt. I am entirely unsure how all of the Monkeigh fit in this. It is also very strange that the breech of this stupidly large and crude cannon rests against my belly. That cannot be good for the Monkeigh.

We're going to try and get the vehicle started. They are not very fast but sturdy. Much like the Monkeigh themselves. Soundgrot is driving.

>The engine roars into life. The camera sways as Dave, still standing astride the tank and and filming, continues to do so.

The guardsmen at the gatehouse, continue to salute the commissar even as his tank drives through the gatehouse, backs up, crushes a jeep, turns, and with a banshee (or Aerwin) howl fires a shell into the promethium depot.

>later
>aboard the Bluhd Ravensh Strike Cruiser "Immatakindis"
>Brother Captain Swagmus watches a satellite feed with Brother Trazyn
>Trazyn turns to Swagmus
>that glorious bastard. They sure don't make Commissars like him any more. The regiment must've have been about to go heretic

>Captain Swagmus says but four words.
>I want his hat.

>>36419307
>Brother Trazyn

kek, Loving it mate

>>36419307
The blood ravens have been gifted my sides again. Good one anon

>>36419307
Wonderful, simply wonderful

>>36419307
>Meanwhile. As Aerwin watches the flames pillar into the sky
How was I supposed to know that that button did that? Obviously the red button is too dangerous to have just next to the cup holder.

We have learnt a very important lesson about Monkeigh engineering today.

It cannot be trusted. They believe the Machines have spirits and while our machines do have spirits (sorry Dave) theit machines, if they do, are imbeciles

SO IT DEFINITELY WASNT YOUR FAULT THEN?

>>36416729
This is looking SWEEEET!!!

>>36419307
>>36419398
Noice. Can you do some bits with these?>>36419149
>>36418900
>>36417314
>>36416800

>>36419398
>soundgrot pops out of the drivers hatch and points at the sky.

>BADOOOM

what
>BADOOOOOM
Is
>BADOOOM.

Oooh a titan! Full speed ahead soundgrot!

>>36419669
>shortly
>We are now camped on the left knee of an imperator titan
hello viewers! We have stopped to rest in our ascent. While Soundgrot is making dinner
>soundgrot appears with a roast chicken
We are preparing to continue our ascent up the north face of the Titan. This is one of the largest of their warmachines. While the crudity of the design is undeniable. The efficacy is

>KATHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Crikey! That was the plasma destructor! A gorgeous green flame isn't it!? I wouldn't want to be on the end of that!

This machine is proof that
>she takes the drumstick from soundgrot
The monkeigh while they may look cute are as dangerous as they are adorable to the unprepared.

>unseen by all, a falling star streaks through the night sky. The Bluhd Ravens cometh

Did Irwin remark "I've been spotted!" or was that Attenborough?

>>36416729
Not true! Lurkers are still here. Just that writing for this thread is not easy!

Some really good stuff so far though, definitely another /tg character that will become legendary, or at least a cult classic.

>>36418646
Gave me this idea,


Good morning viewers,

today we have a special live show. First of all *polite bow*, thank you for your kind fanmail. I will try to answer many of the question you asked. Fir-locst is from Warlock Idribael of Craftworld Yme-Loc, who wants to, how the better human food tastes, the ones their nobles eat. To answer that, me and my team went undercover earlier, to aquire one of their secret recipies in this base.

>>36421409

short Video feed with the words "earlier today" shown, in which our hosts, disguised as cooks with lovely ornate chef hats, Daves by the way slipped almost completly over his head, go into a room and take a clear shot of a page from an old tome, bound in red velvet. It is a recipe for a fish stew.
Cut. Feed shows our team in the back of a storage area, while warehouse workers run around in a frenzy. A grimy Chef with an obscenely large paunch yells at them, that it could not be too hard to find the very expensive marblefin red salmon.

Now that we have gathered all the ingredients, we reloated to this dimly lit hall, where Mike is preparing a fire to heat our metal pot here.

The video stream shows Mike trying to set some wooden boards from a cargo pallet on fire, next to him are an assortment of various fish bodies, spices and other ingredients. One of the boxes is labeled "marblefin red salmon - delicacy quality".

So here we an see all the ingedients for our stew, quite a lot, right. I bet you did not think, how refined human cuisine can *WHHHHHHEEEWHHHHHEEEEEWHHHEEE"

*Aerwin looks baffeled*

WHHHEEEEEWHHHHHHHEEEWHHHHEE "Attention all Personal! Fire in Hangar 32!"

Suddenly the screen only shows a white foamy substance, that is being wiped away. We see a mountain of the same stuff with Aerwins head popping out of. She spits some of that foam out, her hair and hat are covered with it. The room is periodically covered in red light. Some Arvus Ligthers can be seen in the back.

WHHEEEEWHHHHHEWHHHHHHHEEEE "All Firefighters, are to report in Hanger 32 immediatly I Repeat: Fire in Hangar 32!" "All Firefighters, are to report in Hanger 32 immediatly"

Picture shows our intrepid heros runnin out of a foam covered room. The door reads "HANGAR 32 - Cargo shuttles, access restricted"

Somebody please archive this thread on suptg

>>36421426
I like where this is going anon. If no one archives the thread, we can at least save the work done here on the 1d4chan article

Haha managed to do myself

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36413926/

did you see we are popular there,

>>36421558
Are we? Excellent! Our plucky heroine is becoming renowned

I love this, these stories help pass the time while I'm at work

>>36422000
One day, we will have a full comic of Aerwin's adventures. I take your dubs trips as a good omen

It's depressing when the best idea /tg/'s had in years needs bumps to keep it alive.

Also when will we get more on Aerwin's sponsor, Inquisitor Lord Attenborough?

>>36425152
Think about what day it is for the Americans... They're all to busy doubling their already enormous girth then passing out while watching parades and full contact sports that require a whole group of people to be overweight just for defense.


Let's get out plucky explorer to feature an imperial planet of thanksgiving to the Emperor... You know somewhere there is a planet fashioned after that.

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>>36416813
I-It's not like I came back because you remembered me, anon-baka!

>>36426368
Nice work. Someone should upload it and all of the new writefaggotry on 1d4chan.

>>36426368
Nice.

>>36426368
Nice one drawfag! But I think we are owed an explanation as to why shes popping blithely out of a Blood Raven's suit...

>>36426406
it's s gift

>>36426490
Seems the magpies got what was coming then.

This is easily one of the best things /tg/ came up with lately. Where are all of the writefags in the hour of need?

>>36426956
We're here, but either busy or not feeling creative. I'm about to sit down for turkey day, but I'll be coming up with something meanwh...

Hey I know! I'll have her documenting Emperor's Day or some other Imperial holiday. Stay tuned, I'll deliver in a few hours.

>>36427029
But if some other Writefag wants to get in on it before I return, they're more than welcome

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>>36426368
That's just adorable. Nice one!

>>36426368

Oh you. Stop by the drawthread and what not sometime.

>>36413926

The cigar for the Grot is a nice touch.

It makes me think he took or stayed with this job because it "payed" better than staying with the orkz they were with.

Jetlag Writefag now out of court.
Would /tg/ rather hear how the blood ravens power armour was acquired or how Soundgrot got his gig?

>>36428400
Bluhd Rayvens
The soundgrot must remain an unknown.

>>36428400
Bluhd Ravens, them losing something is too funny.

>>36428400
Blood Ravens, then soundgrot, if it's not too much to ask

>>36427029
While I'm waiting for an answer.

>our host pops into frame. Standing in two feet of snow. Her only concession to the cold is a scarf. Seemingly entirely oblivious to the cold.
>a bundle of scarves and a woolly bobble hat smoking a roll up let's us know what soundgrot thinks of the weather.

Today we are continuing our investigation into monkeigh religious rites. some people doubt whether Monkeigh are intelligence but even the most primitive of mammals venerate their dead.

>The camera zooms in on the igloo behind them.

In this snowabode several Monkeigh are celebrating what they see as the greatest Monkeigh of all who fatally injured himself with a whore called Ross. We don't know why they do it but it's important to them.

Dave can we see inside their home?

SWITCHING TO INTERNAL CAM

>Dave shoves the camera lense through the side of the hut.
>We see several valhallans tucking into a meal of roast grox and vodka.
An important part of this rite involves consuming the flesh of beings of equal intelligence to themselves while also consuming spirits. We believe this is to allow them to commune not only with the foodbeast but also with their leader.
Note how they overeat. It is believed this is to demonstrate their "superiority" over their food.

>soundgrot can be seen removing one of his many layers and tucking in.

Happy holidays strange creatures.

>captcha -remotest kebab

>meanwhile aboard the strike cruiser "immatakindis"
>Brother Captain Swagmus! We have found the Xeno witch!
>Excellent brother Trazyn, we shall capture the hat worn by her slave. For the emperor!
>For the emperor indeed.

Well Dave what shall we investigate next? I have an idea..

THAT BAR?

No its not far. It is right over he....

>schwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeethunk

>Bluhd Ravens secure the area!

>Aerwen dives into a bush. Dave remains standing completely in the open.

>Commissar! Have you seen the Xeno witch?!

YES SHE IS INDEED A BIT...

>Bluhd Ravens! There she is!

>The other bluhd ravens are busily looting a tree, a very surprised pigeon and some rocks.

>Well witch I face you alone. I am Brother Captain Swagmus and I know no fear.

Oh my gods aren't they adorable viewers!

Look how easily they telegraph their intentions. I believe this big one wishes to warn me off his territory! When faced by an angry Monkeigh you must not back down. Raise your arms and appear as big as possible

>does so

>For the emperor!

>Aerwen easily dodges the chainsword strike from a weapon at least as big as her.

I shall tire him out first! And then we can really get a look at how these things tick!

>Aerwen proceeds to dodge, vault and leap away from Swagmus. Even utilizing some of the other Bluhd Ravens to jump from to avoid his strikes. As she vaults off one Brother who is busily attempting to loot himself into a sack the camera follows her to the remains of a house.

>Aerwen lands on the wooden floor. Swagmus follows suit. And goes straight through it.

Oh my the poor thing has trapped himself! He might injure himself trying to escape!

>Aerwen produces a tin opener and dives in after him.

>The camera leisurely approaches the hole in the floor. Stepping around a Bluhd Raven busily looting worms.

>We see swagmus face down. Unconscious.

I had to knock him out. He was frenziedly trying to escape. Now let's get this armour off him. He won't miss it. They regrow it. We should take this for further study.

>later

>Brother Captain. Why are you naked?

>Not one fucking word trazyn. Not. one. Fucking. word.

>>36428415
I'm not doing soundgrot. I think he should remain a cosmic infinite.

Okay, I have decided to attempt some contribution to this thread.


“Greeting faithful viewers, I am your host Aerwin and tonight we have a special treat for you. Tonight we will observe a special human ritual never before caught on camera. This has been made possible thanks to intense negotiations with a human Alpha male who have decided to allow us to document the internal workings of his pack.”

>The camera moves and shows an inquisitorial interrogation room. In the middle are several hooded humans on their knees, surrounded by a team of heavily armed storm troopers. An inquisitor is pacing back and forth in front.

“The agitated human pacing in the foreground is the Alpha male of this pack, notice his thumbs tucked into his belt, a clear sign that he’s in charge. The heavily armed humans standing in a circle around them are the females of the group, evident from their weaponry. Much like lions humans delegate hunting and combat duties to the females of the species.”

“The flight plan I just filed with the inquisition lists me, my troopers, the eldar camera crew over there, but only ONE of you!”

“A group of younger males have presented themselves in a submissive kneeling position, wishing admittance to the pack. However, the alpha male does not desire competition for the females, and thus desires to assert his dominance for the newcomers.”

>The inquisitor grabs a prisoner and shoves a bolter in his face.

“Who tempted you to betray the emperor!?”

“The silence and lack of a struggle from the younger male is a clear sign of submission. The weaker males will submit themselves to any form of abuse from the Alpha in order to gain his trust. A fascinating practice so unlike our own tradition.

“Tell me about Abandon, why does he have no arms!? Talk, Emperor damn you!” Silence “A lotta loyalty for a dirty heretic!”

>>36428916
“The submission of this younger male is unquestionable. Observe the female humans dragging him away from the Alpha, a clear demonstration that the Alpha trusts him not to attempt to mate with them. “

“Or perhaps he’s wondering why somebody would mock worship of true gods before swearing by a rotting corpse.”

“This is most fascinating. This male is challenging the dominance of the Alpha!”

“Wise guy huh, atleast you can talk!”

>The inquisitor tears the hood from the prisoner, revealing a massive ogryn with a face obscured by a gasmask.

“This newcomer male is of a far larger build than the current Alpha, a clear indication of him being a fierce challenger. Notice how agitated the Alpha male is, he’s clearly not feeling in charge now, and if he yields to this challenger he will lose command of the pack and even more importantly, the mating right to all the females.”

“If I take that off would you die!”

“It would be extremely painful.”

“Follow closely dear viewers, they are exchanging ritual threats and challenges. Be aware however that extremely few challenges like this result in violence as the weaker male usually yields to the one with the most mass or largest shoulder pads.”

“You’re a big guy!”

“This is fascinating. The alpha is acknowledging the mass of his opponent while refusing to back down. Clearly he indicates that his superior experience and fierceness will trump the size of any challenger.”

“For you.”

“The challenger asserts his own power and strength in comparison to the current alpha. He clearly considers himself the superior male and that his genetics would be far more desirable to the females. It seems that neither male will back down.”

>>36428932
>A stormtrooper collapses to the floor, giggling like a retard. Immediately several other guards and prisoners follow suit.

“God damn it Steve!” the inquisitor shouts while suppressing his own laughter.

“I’m sorry sir, I’m really sorry. I just, when Drogg said “For you” while staring at you all sexy-like, I couldn’t take it. I’m really sorry.”

“We were so close Steve, a few more lines and we could have had this aired on xenos-tv. The hotheads in Ordo Xenos would have had to pay me 2000 dollars and address me as Big Guy for a week! You just lost me the bet, this is coming out of your salary!”

Aeris stares at the scene, dumbfounded. “Huh, I have no idea what is going on.”

>>36428916
>Okay, I have decided to attempt some contribution to this thread.

>kills thread

>>36428953
Ordo Xenos really knows how to have fun

>>36428916
A shining contribution!
>>36428829
Bloody brilliant!
>>36428578
A fine interpretation. And now I will put forth Aerwin's visitation of a human feast, as you have been patiently waiting.

>in a luxury Imperial resort on a mountainous paradise world. Dave appears to be one of the abstract statues, soundgrot is hiding in the ceiling, and our hostess peeks from behind a finely brocaded drapery.
"The humans here appear to be gathered here for a feast of some sort. What appear to be families of these creatures -with such adorable young ones! - are seated around platforms, and they all go to another platform to place what
appears to be the roasted flesh of a large avian beast upon discs, along with various vegetable matter. They return to their platforms and seem to give a vague thanks to... ah to their Emperor. But why would they wish to do such a thing? Perhaps the fowl they consume has some peculiar spiritual connection to their leader? This will require further investigation... But for now, I wonder if we might be able to sample some of this fare..."
>tiptoes to buffet table when no one is looking, snags slice of space turkey and glides back behind the curtian.
"Hmmm... it is flaky, and savory, and moist, and it must be one of the finest things that humans consume. Yet it does not tickle the senses quite as our food does. I will save this for further study...
>puts it in a small case in her satchel

Anyone still here?

>>36429814
Yes, still here.
>>36429375
I am become death, killer of threads.

>>36429814
Ja. Busy drawfagging. Keep this thing going good anons and thou shall see it.

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>>36430043
Eagerly awaiting it.

>>36430043
We await with anticipation. What scene are you drawing, if I may ask?

>>36430099
How should I put it?
"Eldar Public Service Announcement".

She should do a 'Aerwin's Ark', the ten Mon Keigh she would take with her on a craftworld ark should the rest all become extinct.

>>36430180
Does it involve pork chop sandwiches and body massage?

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>>36430180
I see....

>>36430219
Last one there is a penis pump

>>36430273
The awkward silence you caused is tangible

>>36430043
Great, can't wait to see it

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>>36431171
FUCK I started watching sengoku basara and lost sense of time. Anyway doig this, I'll startto lay the ink

>>36431845
hahaha its cool man. I for one have hellsing abridged to entertain me...

>>36431845
That looks really good anon, love it!

>>36431882
>>36432226
Nearly finished, please wait a little more

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Save the mon-keigh!

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>>36432893
Excellent!

>>36432893
Oh yeah... another great work. Now I wonder what her kin would think of this?

>>36432938
>>36433070
thank you anons. I'm rather happy drawing for teegee, especially when anons are excellent like this.

>>36433114
You do good art thank you

>>36433070
Depending on her age, they either think she is just a silly youth putting her pathfinding skills to ill use or a crazy old tosspot whose come unhinged in old age.

Then again, eldar have a canon orkaboo philosopher who goes on and on about how orks are the perfect organism in body, mind, and soul so she's not the weirdest thing in the Craftworlds.

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>>36433114
>when anons are excellent like this
Thanks to you drawfriend.

>>36433218
Well that's true, I mean,two threads without bickering, squabbling, shitposting and the like, no porn to be seen (some panties aside, but I am to blame for that i guess) and anons peacefully contributing without arrogance nor namefags begging for popularity.
That's rather excellent in my book.

>>36433280
Indeed drawanon. You know, I rather think that it's been so excellent because we have not drawn the attention of certain... sorts. This is as refreshing as it is surprising

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>>36433165
Yeah I'd go with the silly youth outlook.

I for one then to view her as the Eldar version of Attack on Titan's Hanji; same bubbly attitude but without the disturbing mannerisms. Combine that with the emotions of Steve Irwin, and there you have it.

>>36433557
>certain sorts

I've been dreading nice daemonette finding this thread

>>36434679
That is the very name I avoided saying... Hope you didn't just "speak of the devil" us, anon.

Well, at least we can give it a resounding "fuck off!" if it does show itself.

Still with us drawfaggot? Is there anything youd like us writefags to do, or have you had requests filled already?

>>36428578
>>36428747
>>36428829
Does anyone actually read the write faggotry, these are fucking amazing

>>36434913
Yes, indeed it is. Someone should save it to the 1d4chan page for posterity.

>>36428578
>celebrating what they see as the greatest Monkeigh of all who fatally injured himself with a whore called Ross

Would someone mind explaining the joke?

>>36428747
>Brother Captain. Why are you naked?

>Not one fucking word trazyn. Not. one. Fucking. word.

I literally went "Hee hee hee" when I read this.

>>36435044
>whore named Ross
>whore Ross
>whoreross
>horus

>>36435044

Whore Ross.

>>36435044
>Whore-called-Ross

>WhoreRoss

>Whoross

>Hoross

>Horus

>>36435089
>>36435108
Lol hivemind.

>>36435079
me too anon. it was priceless
>>36435089
>>36435097
>>36435108
not him, but at first I thought it was a poor attempt at inserting a Game of Thrones reference. Now I see that it is genius.

>>36435089
>>36435108
thanks guys. I feel slightly silly for not getting that.

>>36435079
I hadn't realised but it's quoting the Blues Brothers

>>36435291
Huh, I really should see that movie.

It is the best and only movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxrrYWwY2AQ

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>>36435453
>we're on a mission from the emprah

>>36435623
The blues ants

>>36435217
I didn't get it either before it was explained, no need to feel silly.

>>36435723
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO FEEL!
Thanks anon.

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>>36426368
>>36426406
That's InkerAnon's thing, Girls popping out of over-sized armor...

>>36434679
TOO LATE!!!

>>36434679
He's said in the past that he actually looks up his name on the moe archives and shitposts in threads where he is mentioned, so you have only yourself to blame for this shit.

God fucking dammit I hate you right now.

>>36435845
Welp the destroyer of threads is here. Time to pack up and leave everyone!

>>36435845
ugh, why don't you go invade that Gellar field failure thread you slimy deviant. leave us in peace

>>36435873
>>36435881
Calm down, maybe he has a good story for our adventurer?

>>36435845
Do you?

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>>36435881
It was fun posting with you all. Until nex time.

Well it was fun while it lasted.

ABANDON THREAD

>>36435907
No. No it doesn't.
>>36435873
Speak of the fucking devil, and the shit will fucking appear...

>>36435986
>>36435930
>>36435917
>>36435897
>>36435881
Gonna laugh if this is just some random anon using the name.

>>36436131
Fuck, that's like the thread equivalent of calling in a bomb scare.

>>36436155
>Thread equivalent of a NUCLEAR bomb scare
FTFY

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>>36436131
>>36436173
>>36436155
IF THAT IS THE CASE....!
IF IT ISNT THE CASE...!

>captcha: ifnutes containing

Okay but seriously I'm a bit of a new fag, why the hate on ND and Namefags in general?

>>36436217
Name fags are alright(some of the time) but most of them that aren't doing it for RP or quests are attention whores. ND slathers everything in magical realm so thickly it's asphyxiating.

>>36436217
most namefags are generally ok and decent. but this isn't a thread where namefagging is necessary at all.

Fucking goddamn ND... where to begin... to start, it covers everything it touches in slimy sex juices. has a thing for rule 63 bullshit

>>36436217
ND's the only namefag I can remember that I dislike. I just don't like the guy's sense of humor. He usually bombs the thread with unrelated pics, steers a thread towards magical realm, and just sucks the fun out whatever is going on. I'm not sure if he's trying to do any of it on purpose, but I greatly prefer avoiding him if I can.

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>>36435907
No, not really...

>>36436217
>>36436235
>>36436255
>>36436268
>>36436276
See what we mean?

So why don't you guys just ignore him?

>>36436276
Well, think of a good one and get back to us when you do.

>>36436297
Because he gotten thread straight up killed before. Also after a while all the spamming get godawfully annoying. But mostly we try to hence the abandon thread gifs and sentiments.

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>>36436299
Meh, I don't really have anything, I was just posting an example of InkerAnon's Girlz und Armor.

You know he's quietly fapping to us discuss him. Just ignore it.

>>36436327
Don't give me that. We just wasted 20 posts ridiculing you. Now you owe us a good story.

>>36436327
YEAH, It's story time dammit!

>>36436354
Actually he has a point. Come on ND post something fun and relevant and text based and you can play too. Otherwise GTFO

>>36436354
Well why did you all freak the fuck out then?

The only thing I can think of is a Daemonette stalking Aerwin, who is themselves being tailed by a Necron Safari-man.

Soundgrot may or may not be working for all of them, all he really does in response is take a long drag on his cigar.

>>36436423
Do it.

>>36436423
Build on that, without going full /d/ on us. Aerwin's adventures are strictly PG13

>>36436434
That's all I've got!
The muse hasn't been kind to me the past few weeks.

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>>36436423

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>>36436462
Like we said. Story or GTFO.

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>>36436462

Did...did we just....

I darent' say it....

Did we just defeat it?

>>36436564
Nah.

>>36436564
No true corporeal form, we just banished it to the warp. It will be back hornier than ever.

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Begone!

>>36436327
>I was just posting an example of InkerAnon's Girlz und Armor.
Stop spamming offtopic pictures.

So anons to get back on track, What about Aerwin think about the space wolfs?

>>36436657
Barbaric even by mon'keigh standards but they stop the inquisitor from blaming random guardsmen. So intrigued and a little confused?

>>36436624
It is approaching Jim Profit, Lanced Jack, and Daiz levels of thread derailment. When will our cucklord purge this abomination.

>>36436657
Clearly some sort of half-breed mutt.

Praise the Emperor! we have banished it by sheer will.

Now hopefully the anons who fled will be back and see that it is safe here once again.
>>36436657
More intrigued than she is by any other humans I'd say... give me a while and I'll come up with something

>Night
>Three moons rise over a desert.

We are here to answer an important question. "Do the Monkeigh have a sense of humour?" Eldar Scholars have debated this for millenia. The Monkeigh are so similar to us and yet so alien. Could that yipping noise they make in fact be laughter?

We are here to find out by using traditional Eldar humour.

>Soundgrot is dressed as a very annoyed looking clown and smoking a roll up.

Soundgrot, sneak up on the Monkeigh sentry and hit him with this pie.

>The camera focuses on the pie
>we return to Soundgrot, except he is nowehere to be seen.

Well, we skip straight to stage two. In this field we have positioned an ancient Eldar wraith-banana-skin. If the Monkeigh patrol we are expecting shortly were to have a member trip on it, we suspect that they would laugh. Humour is a sign of intelligence and therefore....here they come!

>A group of Tallarn sneak into the camera frame
>The pointman slips on the wraithbanana, going head over heels
>The pointman's flamer engages, torching the rest of the squad before overheating and exploding.

Ah. This will be hard to explain....

DO WE HAVE MARSHMALLOWS?

>>36436738
I love dave, always looking on the bright side.

Thread is ded

>>36437586
Nope. We sucsuccessful banished the thing that should not be named

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>>36436738
Sorry for posting and disappearing, old friend from outta town showed up.

>>36437603
*successfully

Mobile sucks

>>36437613
Noice!

>>36437613
Fuck that was fast. Captured the story nicely.

>>36437613
damn. that's a suitably grimdark scene, I must say. I like Aerwin's rather shocked and mildly distressed expression

and sorry for namefagging. Im posting in another thread and its becoming a bother to erase and refill the name field

>>36437761
I don't mind.

>>36437761
what thread is the name for?

>>36437966
the current "excuse me commissar" with the Gellar field failure.

Go check it out for some inspiration. might be that Aerwin has snuck aboard and is recording the action...

>>36438003
>excuse me commissar
So you're a shitposter as well as an attention whore.

Gross.

>>36438372
He's not so bad.

>>36438372
um, no. I go to those because sometimes amazing RP opportunities come up there. then its not shitposting but relevant contribution to decent threads

also, I'll have you know that I have managed to run off the thing that was in here earlier from some of those

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>>36436423
Come on ND, redeem yourself in this sacred thread.

>>36438510
do we really want that?

>>36438510
great picture.

>>36438547
I'm giving him ONE chance only because he figured out who I was.

>>36438567
Ah. Fair enough. I had always wondered whether that guy actually drew the stuff he was posting...

Are we getting another panel to your last drawing?

>>36438547
You have little room to talk.

>>36438471
>sometimes amazing RP opportunities come up there
Yes, because "y don't eldars clone?" is fucking stellar roleplay.

>>36438720
Now, calm down, Skeeter. He ain't hurtin' nobody.

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>>36438705
Alright anon, if it really bothers you that much, I'll empty the name field, just for you
>>36438720
Dude, really? Not all of them are like that.

>sufustr end.

>Tfw I like people using names so I know who I'm talking to.

>>36438917
this. people need to realize that the real purpose of namefagging is not for attention whoring.

Anyway guys, sorry I made that faux pas and disturbed the peace here.

>>36438917
Then use a different website.

>>36439085
I'll keep that under advisement.

I'm going to take a quick shot at writefagging, /tg/. Hope you like my idea.

>Imperial Hive World

Hello again, folks back on the craftworld! As you know, we've been observing mon'keigh dwellings, and after much research, we have confirmed that they kill their wraithbone before forming it into buildings, and for whatever reason their favorite food is a flavorless mush. Evidently, they have a ways to go on forming a civilized society - oh? What's this?

>Dave obligingly turns his camera as a teenage human walks up to Aerwen, shuffling his feet in obvious embarrassment.

What's this? I heard that the Dark Eldar sometimes try to tame humans as pets - is this one of those?

>the kid coughs, pulls a stained paper out of his pocket, and stumblingly reads from it:

In the depths of dis 'ere hive
I can't see the stars worth shit
But in the beauty of yer eyes
I can- I can see some of it

>Arwen looks shocked for a moment, and then smiles and puts her hands to her face

Aaaaaw! Look, Dave, it learned how to write poetry! Did you get that?

YES. IT EVEN RHYMED SEVERAL WORDS CORRECTLY.

>Kid looks crushed as the message of his poem is overlooked for the poem itself

>>36439213
Very nice. One of the best yet.

>>36433165
canonically the eldar and humans work together more than they fight.

ordo Xenos even has a Treaty outlined that humans will not crusade against eldar craft worlds and that eldar in return will not attempt to instigate rebellions and take over planets they dont have any business with.

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>>36439213
mfw

>>36439213
Good work anon.

>>36439279
Really? that's pretty cool. I hope you don't mind if I ask for source.

>>36439279
knowing the way things work here in 40k, I wonder just how upheld this treaty is...

>>36439316
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Jaq_Draco

not the exact article but it refrences it. illuminati is technically a subsection of the ordo-malleas

>>36439361
hardly ever on the small scale

almost always on the large scale

>>36438639
>>36439213
Sorry, just got back from friday prayers and lunch.

I will attempt to draw this because
Captcha: utpoki there

>>36439316
found it!

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Coven_of_Isha

>>36439386
ignore this post, that link just goes to non-canon-anymore lore that kind of hints at it

>>36439720
This is still canon and current

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>>36439213
Mfw

Great job anon!

>>36439720

>CS Goto

Ha ha ha.

We should update the 1d4chan page with the new stories and pics.

>>36442243
>>CS Goto
Shiiit.
Can we, like, have some parts of what he write be canon and the rest not?

>>36442292

It's 40k anon. Everything is canon depending on what you want.

So who's gonna be the first to request r34 once this weekend's smut threads go up?

I don't think we should stain this idea with the taint of smut. That said, if teegee is dead set on it, I guess a drawfag will probably answer the call since the topic is interesting.

>>36443087
Did Steve Erwin have sec with any of the animals he exhibited? No? Why must everything be smut? What, do you want soundgrot mounting her for science?

>>36443968
this ever so much. whats wrong with a bit of purity and innocence?

>>36443968
>>36444000
That is what I was trying to say here>>36443087, geez. What do you think I meant with "we should not"?
"the topic" meant aerwin as a whole, not "aerwin smut".

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>>36443968
>soundgrot
Soundgrot is a pure and innocent maiden, do not include him in your magical realms.

>>36444018
ach, sorry anon. Its just that the idea really shouldn't be even talked about. I mean, its ok to have stuff like this >>36438510 where a dnette attempts to get our clueless heroine, but only so long as the schemes are thwarted, preferably in a humorous way.

In fact, we've played with the idea of Dave being her protector, but I say that's something he absolutely does do, even though she is blissfully unaware.

>>36443968
pretty sure steve erwin used to stick is finger up crocodile cloaca every episode

"oh this ones a sheila! what a lovely gal aint she?"

>>36444198
um, you do know that's just about the only way to identify a croc's gender? its only weird if you make it that way.

>>36444240
i understand, but its still a funny parallel.

>"this mon'kei is a sheila! beautiful gal aint she?"

Whenever someone asks soundgrot anything, his default answer is default "I'm too old for this shit" or "they don't pay me enough for this."

Why he sticks around remains a mystery.

>>36444295
Oh ok I see what youre saying. Only by awkward fumbling that resembles sex acts can Aerwin figure out a human's gender. Is that what youre driving at?

>>36444310
Agreed. also the image of a grot wearing a backwards ballcap and smoking a blunt is funny

>>36444330
thats exactly what i mean, to an eldar all humans look burly and gruff

>>36444350
I see... now we need a story where she captures a guardsman and feels him up. It would be funny cause he thinks this witch is molesting him, but all she's trying to do is determine gender.

I had actually started a scene kinda like this, but quit because I couldn't think from her perspective very well.

>>36444397
maybe the guardsman thinks she is being amorous, but then she leaves and he's disappointed

HUMAN CULTURAL ENRICHMENT SMUT R34 WHEN

>>36444397
Write the most smuttiest dialogue you can imagine, then try to make it as boring as possible, with a scientific/old prude bent?

>>36444419
It would depend on how indoctrinated he is. He'll either be disappointed or relieved (but feeling dirty) when she stops.

>>36444427
Eh, honestly I'm not that good anon. I can try it later, but it probably wont be quite what you have in mind.

Looking at suptg, apparently soundgrot is named mike? That's... oddly appropriate.

>>36444574
he is also dashingly beautiful, with round lips, square chin and a charming gaze.

>>36444574
>>36444710
he also can speak and read eldar-Lexicon perfectly.

>>36445074
in short, soundgrot is something of a paradox.

Alright, anyone still hanging around? I suppose I'll attempt to write her examination of a guardsman she bagged.

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>>36446128
I'm still here.

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>>36446128
im waiting too

>>36446291
>>36446321
Aight then, standby...

Jetlag writefag reporting. You all have about an hour until I get loaded. Request away.

>>36446598
Aerwin exploring an forge world, documenting the primitive industry of the mon-keigh, as well as their oversized architecture and their overly religious treatment of technology, especially by those weird guys in the red robes with all the tubes.

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>>36446128
I'm also here.

>Brother Captain Swagmus! Captain! The witch! We have found the witch!
>In the name of the Emperor Trazyn don't you ever fucking sleep?
>The witch captain!
>by the emperor's heaving balls. To the thunderhawk!

>>36446717
And here viewers is a piece of what we believe is Monkeigh farming equipment.
>Aerwen raps the side of the half assembled Baneblade affectionately.
The humans have nothing like the grace or beauty of our technology. They make up for it in simplistic overcompensation. Why dodge shells when you can headbutt them. That is the Monkeigh way.

DO YOU SMELL THAT?

what? You don't even have a nose. Now let us consider further this veritable cathedral of the machine. A place where the Monkeigh venerate the aspect of their God. The grumpy and fleshy side that dominates his environment and the machine. They call this a forgeworld. We believe this is because the machines are forgeries of their human supremacy.

>a Catachan trooper groggily comes to, and finds himself in what looks like a small cell with curves that give a guy a headache if he looks too long... Its oddly cozy and comfortable though, which is reason enough to make him suspicious.

>as you all may have guessed, its Aerwin's secret hideout in the Webway

"He's awake! Quick Dave, get the camera rolling!" >she hurriedly neatens her appearance, straightens her helmet

WE ARE LIVE!

"Ahem! Welcome back brother and sister Craftworlders! Today I have a special treat for all of you today: a real live mon'keigh warrior we captured at great peril! Such a fine large specimen, lets get right to examining this wonderfully brutish creature..."

>Catachan growls at her. Warp damnned Eldar... he could take that little female who's chirping and trilling at the Wraithguard holding... is that a damn recording device? But the big guy could be a problem. There's also a weird looking grot over there. Weird that its here but best not to take chances. Maybe best to wait for a better opportunity to try something...

>Aerwin opens the cell
"Okay, we've got to approach it slowly, mustn't startle it... ahem" >speaks in very broken low gothic
"Hellooo human. Don't be afraid, we just want a look at you..."

>he stands up straight, startling her. Throne-dammit! Its trying to fuck with him, probably about to interrogate...
"Private Mendelez! 74833-0025! 45th Catachan Regiment of the Imperial Guard! That's all you'll get out of me, you filthy xeno witch!"

>turns back to camera
"Ooooh! A feisty one! I don't think we can coax him out here so I'll have to calm him down some...
>loads muscle relaxant into dart gun, shoots him and he falls down, still conscious but barely able to move
"Quickly Dave! Get him to the examination field before he recovers!"
>Dave drags the unfortunate Private to a circular suspension field, she activates it just before he gets control back

"Grrr! Fucking Eldar bitch! Let me go!"

>cont...

>>36446824
Now viewers follow me deeper within the Monkeigh church factory. Into this hall.

Here is where they build their "boltguns" a brutally efficient farming tool. The Monkeigh must have very dangerous cows. Look at how everything is ornate. Decorated. Intricate. From the symbols to the statues so like their Spesh Mahrines.

>>36446868
>I have the shot Trazyn. By this holy boltgun. A relic of Royal Dorn himself. A glorious gift to the chapter I will have her.

>a red dot appears on Aerwins forehead.

>>36446897
>Aerwin is distracted by Dave taking the place of a Statue Marine, and hurries over to him, dodging the marine's shot.

>>36446897
LOOK A WILD MONKEIGH MIME.
>Dave swings into the path of the bolt as Aerwin turns fascinated.
>the bolt zings off into a bulkhead. Nearly bisecting Soundgrots rollup.

The Monkeigh bird men! Another chance to study them!

>Aerwin begins to vault, leap and cat climb towards Swagmus's position in the gantries.

>Emperor's small intestine not again...

>shortly

Now look at this ornate bolt gun. Some Monkeigh must have produced this as a mating gift...

>soundgrot starts to roll another smoke

>>36446996
Soundgrot don't give a zog.

>>36446838
"Shhh its okay, we wont hurt you... Whew! that was exciting, brothers and sisters! Now, lets take a look at some mon'keigh physiology!
>she pulls off his tanktop
"Such tough, coarse fabric this is! I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it must be for them to wear such unrefined garments, the poor things."
>she touches his arm, pinches the leathery skin
"Amazing isn't it that such short lived creatures are possessed of such durable flesh! Why, if only we Eldar were so tough! We might lose ever fewer brothers and sisters to injury and sickness! As we can see, this particular specimen is male, as we can see by the color of his eyebrows. On this particular variety of human, note the sash bound about his head. Its red color marks the level of commitment to his mate. The brighter color signals to his mate that he is prepared to breed with her. So he must be very eager to return to his kind. We will take some bioscans to record his physique for further study, and release him back into the wild! More later, dear Craftworlders!"

>Camera shuts off

BE SURE TO USE THE RIGHT SEDATIVE BEFORE YOU RELEASE THE CREATURE!

>soundgrot curls up in a dark corner to take a nap


Alright, this is about as close to lewd as I'm prepared to get.

Did...did this thread actually see of NiceDaemonette?

I didn't even realise that was possible..

>>36447253
Im still amazed we managed it. But please do not mention that... thing. Or else it may come back

>>36447253
>Avoiding using those words
>deep in a lush green forest. Aerwin sits in a bush. Examining a power axe.

>Fzzzzzzzschwarp

Oh wow! A corrupted being! Pleasant Minion of Slaneesh! These are very dangerous! Let's have a closer lo....

WRAITHPUNCH

THAT IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA.

Aww.

>>36447210
That's probably for the best, though you could have gone farther with it without sullying Aerwin's purity.

>>36448926
Yeah I could have. For instance, I wondered if I should have her put her hands down the guys pants and be like "OH! Most definitely a male of the species..."

But saying that she could tell by something as innocuous as his eyebrows seemed to fit her better. Like earlier when she said she could tell that the stormtroopers were female just by their weapons.

Im curious though, how would you have done it?

>>36449096
Probably would have made it so she'd poke and prod all over his body making comments about thing while the Guardsman internally is like "Emperor forgive me".
Not a writefag, so I'm not 100%. Eldar are indeed attractive to humans, it's just that the propaganda they've absorbed has told them that all xenos are hideous.

>>36449189
So like a reverse of this http://1d4chan.org/wiki/An_Eldar%27s_Ears except that she is completely oblivious to the fact that it feels good to him?

>>36449253
Yes, I believe so.

>>36449359
Gotcha, maybe someone will pick that up in the next thread. Well, any more ideas to discuss before this thread goes off to the archive?

>>36442267
But anon, that would be hard wooork.

>>36450104
But my autism demands it.

>>36450206
Since this thread is archived, the work is safe. If no one else does it, I will, but I just made my account and still haven't figured out the details. Like how the hell do you add pics to the page?

But any autism aside, stories ARE so much easier to read on the wiki. Therefore someone will have to do it.

>>36450582
To add pics, "ulpload file" in the side bar, then link it in the way the wiki will tell you.