>>36366996
[X] Pick the Devil

Bleach this ain't

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>>36366996
>[ ] Pick Death
Those hips... unf.

>>36366996
This sounds like that Damned Death Damned Devil Quest that was promised to run.

Oh well.

>>36366996
[ ] Die

>>36367029

Maybe it is?

>>36366996

>[X] Pick the Devil

>>36366996
>[ ] Pick Death

>>36366996
[ ] Die

>>36366996
>[X] Die

>>36366996

> [X] Pick the Devil

Devil it is! ALL HAIL SATAN.

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>>36366996
[ ] Die

>>36366996
Die

>>36366996
[ ] Pick the Devil

>>36366996

> Pick the Devil.

>>36366996
>[ ] Pick Death
Death is usually a pretty cool dude, as long as he doesn't kill you.

>>36366996
Pick Death.

>>36367096
He was 330 posts too late for that, I'm afraid.

>Pick Death

>>36366996
[X]Die

>>36366996

> [X] Pick the Devil

Hurrah for blind choices.

Wow fuck that is a lot of votes. Counting. Don't know a thing about tarot or the original writer's intention for this shit, so give me a bit. Also half-expect me to flake out, just so you don't get disappointed.

>>36366996
[X]Die

>>36366996

>[X] Die

>>36367140
Death is the end of a particular cycle or circumstance of your life and the Devil is basically temptation and delusion. Being blinded by the shittiness of your situation because you are gorging yourself in some vice.

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>>36367172
or just an hero

Rolled 1 (1d2)

One is Devil, two is Die.

>>36366996
>Kabbalah

Pick Keter.

I don't get why people pick the choice that would appear to be the Quest-ender. What, is it just to fuck with the QM? Or a desire to go off the rails?

This is the first new quest I've seen all day. I hope they're not getting axed too.

>>36367140
iirc the original suggestion was a harem/rom-com of some kind

>>36367172

Death can also lead to karma, which could lead to reincarnation, while the Devil MIGHT be able to keep you alive in the here-and-now in exchange for a future price to be paid... Tough call.

>>36367181

Devil it is.

>>36367194
Well, imouto route seems like the only route so far.

>>36367184
>die
>WE YU YU HAKUSHO NAO

yea

>die
>spend the next 12,000 years fetching coffee for all the onis and yamas

nope

>>36367230
Eternal Temp Worker Quest is simultaneously horrifying and kind of amusing.

>>36367241
>Eiki-san! The telephone went dead again!
>Use the mirrors to talk!
>No good!
>Damn afterlife budget cuts! Use the cans-on-strings!
>Aww nuts!

>>36367186
There was QuestTG Quest, but it was a blatant QTG in disguise.

>>36367230
>>36367241
>every post/thread timeskips 1000 years
>watch the slow degeneration of the MC's sanity

>>36367281
>Afterlife is rationing on fish food
>Sea monsters in the Sanzu river going berserk from underfeeding
>Have to go to out canoe and chop up corpses on the other end with a kitchen knife to make chum for them.

>>36367301
So basically http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16769033/ in quest form, then?

I take it this is based on some anime?

>>36367241

That sounds kind of boring, really.

>>36367323
Haven't got a clue. If it was it isn't now.

>>36367325
Ten Minutes to Kill Yourself Quest, afterlife temp worker edition

Damnit this might be cool but I'm passing out. Looking forward to reading thing when I wake up op.

You aren't especially drawn to either option. You've had a good run, if not the longest and cut abruptly short. You start to fade out into the darkness, your thoughts growing slower by the moment, when something occurs to you – can you drink while dead?

The idea of spending the rest of eternity sober is, frankly, horrifying.

Sufficiently motivated, you turn your mind to the symbols once more, and are immediately drawn to the horn. It feels safe, familiar. You reach (or whatever the mental approximation is) out towards it and immediately find yourself lying flat on a hard surface, some young girl whom you can only assume to be your sister from the way she called you “onii-chan”, is sobbing into your blood-soaked shirt. She isn’t even Japanese.

You think she might be saying something else, too, but between the sobbing and her having her face buried in your chest you can only barely hear it. Straining your ears, you barely manage to catch:

>Like every good quest, I am going to leave the MC's name entirely up to the audience.

Sorry for the wait, I can't write for shit.

>>36367432
Slab Bulkhead.

>>36367432
Name: Timothy

>>36367432
Name: Rodger

>>36367432
Buck Nekkid

>>36367432
Mister Lister the Sista Fista

>>36367432
Xedisazahael

>>36367432
Theodus Itphor III

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d7)

>>36367443
>>36367449
>>36367457
>>36367462
>>36367467
>>36367473
>>36367482
I'll take whatever combination of these the roll results in.

>>36367494
Well, the dice have spoken.

>>36367432
>Like every good quest, I am going to leave the MC's name entirely up to the audience.
nice joke

>>36367482
I see what you did there
Bretty gud

>>36367494
It seems that, for better or for worse, the dice appreciate the classics.

Or they've decided to roll 1s all day no matter what dX you roll.

>>36367515
Slab Bulkhead find your jests amusing.

>>36367558
>Slab Bulkhead
Is that a transformer's name, 'cos it'd be a pretty good name for one?

>>36367578
It's an MST3K reference.

>>36367592
>>36367578
>>36367558
I'm personally fond of Flint Ironstag and Blast Hardcheese, myself.

Slab Bulkhead.

You can’t quite believe that’s your name, but if your presumed-sister is mumbling it into your ex-corpse then you don’t really have a choice. You rise to your feet, sending your sister tumbling. Your body thrums with energy, ironically feeling more alive than any time you can recall. Which isn’t much. You appear to be in an alleyway, and aside from your sister, there is a bloody knife on the ground beside you. Cars rush by outside, and you pick out a siren fairly close by.

Your sister, meanwhile, has picked herself up and is gazing up at you with a mixture of fear and relief. Mostly fear, though you aren’t sure why.

>Ask your sister what happened, if she’s in any state to tell you.
>Leave, maybe you can find the guy who stabbed you?
>Maybe you should go to a hospital, you were just stabbed after all.
>Write-in.

>>36367717
>>Ask your sister what happened, if she’s in any state to tell you.

>>36367717
>Examine body. Check for any horns or tails or discolored skin.
>Ask sister if she's okay.

>>36367717
>Ask your sister what happened, if she’s in any state to tell you.

>>36367717
>>Ask your sister what happened, if she’s in any state to tell you.
Inb4 she is the one who killed us and she is a yandere

>>36367717
Rape sister.

I'm not going to be able to continue this, unfortunately. Quest wasn't great, but I apologise for having to drop it already.

>>36367862
Uh, okay. Thanks for nothing.

>>36367862
One of the best quests yet! Great one-shot, QM!

>>36367862
the hero qtg deserves

>>36367650
I like Bolt Vanderhuge.

>>36367862
Well, you tried, briefly. Thanks for running?

Quick, someone archive it!

"Sister, I must know what has happened!" you roar, for Slab Bulkhead has only one volume, and that is MAN.

Your sister blubbers like the weak skinny-armed creature that she is, and you slap her across the cheek, repeating your question.

A few slaps later and estrogen stops clogging up her brain long enough to formulate a reply.

"You died, onii-chan, like, totally dead!"

"Relax, you half-pint harlot, I overcame death itself, as is to be expected of your onii-chan!"

She looks up at you with her eyes sparkling. Okay, one eye sparkling, the other one's kind of swollen shut from where you slapped sense into her.

"Shit I bet I'm a vampire or something. What do you think? Do you feel your loins oozing for onii-chan's undead penis?"

"N-not really, onii-chan."

"Good because that would be wierd!"

>Try biting someone, see if you are a vampire.
>Try posing like a fabulous motherfucker, see if you are a cool vampire like Dio.
>Ask more about how you died.
>Ask your sister if she killed you.
>Ask your sister if you have a designated waifu yet.

>>36368053
>Try posing like a fabulous motherfucker, see if you are a cool vampire like Dio.
I'm not sure if this is better or worse but it's something

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>>36368053
>>Try posing like a fabulous motherfucker, see if you are a cool vampire like Dio.
The only real answer

>>36368053
>Try posing like a fabulous motherfucker, see if you are a cool vampire like Dio.
Did this just get better?

You sweep an arm out, angle your legs, and adopt the most fabulous pose you can comprehend.

At first you think it has failed, and you are just some faggot zombie like in that movie warm bodies, but then it happens.

Sparkles and bright colors blaze into being, a homoerotic rainbow of sheer manliness bursts forth from your rippling pecs as you break the bonds of grey, dreary mortal existence.

"I did it, sister, your onii-chan is going to get his very own bizarre adventure!"

Sadly, you are shaken from your rapture as a vehicle pulls up, sirens wailing, with the words "AMBLUANCE" spray painted on the side.

A flabby neckbearded man bursts out, jowls jiggling with the grease of a thousand dead livestock.

"I heard there was a dead body here, a sexy one?"

"Too bad, you expected a corpse, but it was me, SLAB BULKHEAD!" you roar.

"No, I thought I would finally have another corpse for my sex dungeon!" wails the ambluance driver.

"Well fine, I guess I can't be picky, I'll just take you alive!"

You laugh your most Dio-like laugh, as the blubbery manbreasts of the neckbearded necrophile start to wobble with inner power. His patchy facial fuzz erupting into a writhing mane of snapping worms.

Shit just got shounen.

What do you do, Slab?

>Infinite punches
>Do you have energy beams? Try that shit
>Call upon your stand, it's probably something awesome like a t-rex or something, a t-rex with rippling biceps
>Demand your useless-ass sister turns into a magical girl

Too bad, I have to go walk my dog, someone else can take over, as is tradition apparently, or I'll pick it up if anyone is still here when I return.

>>36368148
>Infinite punches
>Demand your useless-ass sister turns into a magical girl

>>36368086
That's not too difficult.
Original trip was #janitor, for whoever picks it up next.

>>36368166
Mine was #donkeydicks

ok, writing, unless someone else wants to?

>>36368148
>>Do you have energy beams? Try that shit

>>36368157
Your fists cool down, as you raise your left leg, swing your right arm out and lash into a forwards somersault, towards the TERRIBLE NECK-HENTAI, or NECKTIE. Your muscles flex and shred the tattered hot-topic faded clothes you wear, leaving you with LEATHER BELTS on your limbs, a FABRIC LOINCLOTH and GREATO HAIR.

"QUE TEETEETEETEETEETEE GEE!!!! you roar as your fists lash out, severing abominations formed of neck-hair, male breastflesh and a single, gigantic pimple. The NECKTIE starts blubbering as its forward momentum slows, before your BULKHEAD of a fist crashes into him, knocking him flying back into his AMBULANCE. This ambulance falls onto its side, crushing DAVID BOWIE before he could either create music or become a serial killer. GOOD WORK, SLAB BULKHEAD.

As you do the mandatory VICTORY POSE, you see a faintly glowing WAR ELEPHANT form in the air behind you! However, before you can complete POSING, the NECKTIE rises from his vehicles WRECKAGE, and EXTENDS its NOODLY appendages-right at your IMOUTO!

Suddenly, you feel the urge to sing, and the LYRICAL STRAINS of PRETTY PRINCESS IMOUTO BULKHEAD BRANDO start to emerge from your throat, accompanied by the TRUMPETING REFRAIN of your STANDO, HOENN TRUMPET. TIME seems to stop as your IMOUTO starts jerkily dancing to the beat, and a truly FABULOUS COSTUME appears around her nubile body. You AVERT your eyes to avoid SULLYING such a sight.

With a final HENSHIN, PRETTY PRINCESS IMOUTO BULKHEAD is ready for combat!

What does SLAB BULKHEAD do?

>defend the imouto from the NECKTIE
>check up on DAVID BOWIE's CORPSE, which is currently calling up a cabal of UNDEAD MUSICIANS
>Unleash your GOLDEN WAR ELEPHANT upon the foolish civilians watching
>CONSUME the civilians

>>36368212
No please go on this is great.

defend the imouto from the NECKTIE

>>36368284
This is fucking great
>defend the imouto from the NECKTIE
Destroy the fool

>>36368284
>CONSUME the civilians
Should we vote on new QMs name or what?

>>36368332
ill go for this name.

writan for defending PRETTY PRINCESS IMOUTO, barring a flood of voters

Do i tone down the references?

oshitoshitoshit first time running since mid 2012

>>36368349
Maybe just a smidge

>>36368284
>>defend the imouto from the NECKTIE

>>36368319
>>36368322
>>36368370

Your DUTY is clear. As a mysterious being granted you power, you obviously must use it to protect the innocent. You LEAP forwards to intercept the TENTACLES of FLESH and HAIR, absorbing their impact with ABS of STEEL. The impact SPLATTERS against your PERFECT MUSCULATURE, spraying the area with PUS, DEFORMED skin and single NIPPLE. As you PELVIC THRUST with an outstretched arm, you flick your hand in front of your face and sigh "FABULOUS~". Maybe that Devils Deal imbued you with the power of STYLE?

With the NECKTIE stunned by your display, PRETTY PRINCESS IMOUTO leaps above you, vaguely-sexual wand in hand, implausible skirts shielding her PURITY from WANDERING EYES. She points the wand at the NECKTIE, canting "BY THE MORNING WIND, MAY YOU BE CLEANSED". Maybe STYLE runs in the blood? You may never know.

As the blue, yellow, and other-pastel-colours beam erupts from the WAND in a frothy, cleansing wave, the world around the necktie warps into a SHOWER! The last you shall ever see of the NECKTIE is a look of eternal agony, as the animated razor tears through his BEARD, a symbol of PRIVILEGE! A scream ECHOES through the street, as a portal to the warp opens and pulls the sealed shower unit into HELL ITSELF, as such suffering could belong nowhere else!

>Congratulations! You have done the BULKHEAD NAME proud! Also, you condemned a soul to ETERNAL TORMENT, but your IMOUTO caused that.

>CHOOSE a perk!
Bulkhead Bones!-You have the ability to shrug off blows that would SHATTER the bones of LESSER MORTALS
Bulkhead Blows!-Your QUE TEETEETEETEETEE GEE final smash is able to break scenery, faces and the fourth wall!
Devilish Favour!-You gain power with your Patron, gaining STOMPY for you, and SHOOTY for PRETTY PRINCESS IMOUTO
(1/2, still writing, but vote)

>>36368460
Devilish favour

>>36368460
>Bulkhead Bones

>>36368460
> Bulkhead Bones

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>>36368460
IMOUTO jumps up and down before throwing herself into your arms. "Onii-chan, Onii-chan! I did it! i stopped the scary paedophile!" She looks up at you, grinning, before jumping out of your arms.

"So what happened, Onii-chan? You were dead, just a moment ago! How did you protect me?" You consider for a moment, before shrugging, not wanting to consider the fact you have probably condemned your IMMORTAL SOUL to similar treatment as the unfortunate NECKTIE. As you ruminate, however, a menacing group approaches-THE DEAD MUSICIANS have arrived!

The first warning you get is a muffled scream, followed by a horrific cracking noise, as IMOUTO BULKHEAD notices the appearance of a heavily decayed BOB MARLEY, leaking smoke and distilled HIPPY ESSENCE! BON SCOTT leads ACDC's CAREER in a hit & run! KURT COBAIN is taking his shotgun, and going after DAVE GROHL! Behind IMOUTO, however, lies a truly dangerous foe-MICHAEL JACKSON, dancing the thriller, followed move-for-move by a group of PUNKS wearing INLINE SKATES!

What do you do, SLAB BULKHEAD?
[write-in]

>>36368524
ok, im nodding off, if anyone can salvage my drunken mess, anon can. Keep up the good fight, believe what is right, aint no-one keeping us down. Trip was #janitor2, dedicated to a special someone

>>36368524
Throw a joint to distract Marley, grab Kurt and yell at him until he offs himself and, leave Bon Scott for our IMOUTO and finally beat the shit out of Jackson in a VAMPIRIC DANCE OFF

>>36368535
>>36368524
Awww shit, janitor2 here, there's also 2pac and a buncha wu-tang clan sitting in the background. Just sitting, and watching. And wu-tang clan ain't nothin to fuck with.

Alright, I'm out, someone pick this up even if you're completely shit at writing.

Finally, would anyone ever play a JSRF-styled quest, dealing with getting into weird places to put graffiti up, non-deadly street fights, running from cops and generally having fun being a punk?

>>36368583
What's JSRF?

>>36368601
Google it. Inline skates and gang groups. Jet set radio future

"Okay so first we throw a joint at Marley then we shout at Kurt while dancing at Jackson and Bon Scott can- FUCK!" you roar, slamming down your foot arm raised skyward as you totally lose your shit in the most stylish and fabulous way possible.

"All of y'all shits get out of my way!"

You flip a bus on the collection of assorted dead musicians, crushing them and proving the obvious superiority of Bulkhead genetics over corpsey musical assholes.

"Onii-chan, you're super cool!" wails your sparkly sister.

"Shut the fuck up and stop lusting after me, you goddamned incestuous little slutbucket. You'll never be a great magical girl if you love dick."

"But onii-chan, I have a boyfriend, Devon."

>Fuck Devon, we're going to go kill Devon, he a fag
>Fuck Devon, go find your Imouto a yuri love so her powers can grow
>Go find a fighting tournament to join, because why the fuck not
>Actually start giving a shit about how you died

>>36368994
>fuck Devon, show IMOUTO your superiority by making him your woman

The previous guy was better

>>36369166
But I'm the previous guy

>>36369166
Your mom was better.

>>36368994
>Go find a fighting tournament to join, because why the fuck not
>"If you win I'll take you as my bride. If I win, we'll go out for ice cream, deal?"

>>36367029
Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Hell, you know that's how I get along.
The world is full of idiots so how can it be wrong,
Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.

>>36368601
>What's JSRF?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp8Iev5OI6k

>>36368994
>Grant Devon magical girl powers to make him both a pure lover and a potential father for your nieces and nephews!

So, is anyone writing?
Because otherwise I will make a shitty update. And you will regret it.

>>36371740
>Test Devon's devotion to our sister by fucking him in front of her. Lick him to determine his faithfulness when we interrogate him.

By the way, what race is Slab Bulkhead?
>Mexican
>Black
>Middle Eastern
>South Asian
>Russian
>Norwegian
>Whitey
>Mexasian

>>36372111
>All

>>36372155
It's Mexasian with blue eyes and an afro now.

>>36372189
Or a buzz-cut, I dunno.

>Afro
>Buzz-cut

>>36372111
My idea for a shitty snip was Russians invading to get back their manliness from his family.

But a Russian will never understand the manliness of comforting a bear mother when her cubs die.

>>36372202
The Afroest Afro

>>36372225
Don't you know? We're part Russian, so we can inherently speak Bear.

>>36372279
Anyway, let's make a rule for our sister:
No unpure love until she's off age.
The only way to achieve this is to make her boyfriend into a girlfriend. Make him a magical girl.

>>36372338
Isn't she like 16?

>>36372355
It's the thought that counts.

Only in femininity can an outsider learn the fabolousness of our family inheritance.

>>36368994
Umm... My name's Devon.
>Fuck Devon, we're going to go kill Devon, he a fag

Rolled 4 (1d5)

time to d5 dat shit
>1: fuck Devon, show IMOUTO your superiority by making him your woman
>2: Go find a fighting tournament to join, because why the fuck not
"If you win I'll take you as my bride. If I win, we'll go out for ice cream, deal?"
>3: Test Devon's devotion to our sister by fucking him in front of her. Lick him to determine his faithfulness when we interrogate him.
>4: Grant Devon magical girl powers to make him both a pure lover and a potential father for your nieces and nephews!
>5: Fuck Devon, we're going to go kill Devon, he a fag

>>36373170
"I won't allow my pure imouto to be tainted by impure love. We must fine Devon and I must make him into a real woman!"

"You're not going to rape Devon, are you onii-chan!?"

SLAB BULKHEAD laughs a manly, heterosexual laugh. "Don't be ridiculous, imouto, there was only a forty percent chance of me doing that."

Leaving a scene of fabulous carnage in your wake, you scoop up your paradoxically innocent yet erotic sister, princess carrying her to her destiny.

"Where can we find this Devon who would dare to defile you without my written consent?"

"He's at RomCom High."

"Fuck RomCom High, all those dumbass motherfuckers running to school with toast in their mouths. I hope you don't do that shit, it's unhygienic, and leads to teen pregnancy."

>Approach RomCom High like an ordinary person using the door, you fucking pleb.
>Approach RomCom High like a fabulous motherfucking vampire time controlling badass with a magical girl sister, through the wall, blazing a trail of rainbows and hotblooded dreams in your wake.
>Disguise yourself as a qt grill to infiltrate the school.

>>36373247
I would almost vote to test Devon's faithfullness to our sister, but
>Kick the door down and scream that you are coming for Devon, the little bitch
sounds better.

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>>36373247
>Disguise yourself as a qt grill to infiltrate the school.
>Try seducing Devon to prove his swine-ishness to our poor, dearest sister who we've looked after ever since a plane fell on mom and dad

You kick in the door to RomCom High, interrupting fifty different HILARIOUS misunderstandings as awkward and bland young men are knocked over by the shockwave, falling atop an assortment of childhood friends and mysterious tsundere foreign exchange students hand to breast like a row of sexually frustrated dominos.

"Devon, I'm coming for you, you little bitch!" you scream, arms flexed, one leg forward, head tossed back and golden locks flowing in slow motion as you activate your stylish powers.

"Wh-" says Devon, as you see him standing by his locker, being all cute in a misunderstood and emotionally scarred way.

"I heard you have been pounding my sister's questionably legal clamhole like day old tapioca. Explain that shit!"

Devon gasps, dropping his books, shriveling up in your fabulous presence as your beautiful shadow covers him in infinite darkness.

"I swear, Mr Bulkhead sir, I never touched her in an impure way."

"Then prove it, become a magical girl and make make your love for my precious imouto pure!"

You tear the uniform from a nearby student, a panicked KYAAAA echoing through the halls as several nearby teens die as they violently eject all the blood from their bodies through their noses.

"Gonna need you to put this shit on, become a qt grill worthy of my imouto and battle evil by our side!"

Before you can complete your plan to have Devon put on a skirt so you can ogle his cute trap bu- uh, make him worthy of your sister, you hear a terrifying noise, halfway between snort and moan.

"SLABBIE, I KNEW YOU COULDN'T STAY AWAY"

Oh fuck, is that Domonette, you'd heard she was working as a janitor now, but you had no idea it was here.

"Fuck off Domonette, go mop up jizz in the toilets or something," you sneer, channeling your inner Dio to cause maximum emotional trauma.

"NO, YOU WILL ACCEPT MY LOVE!"

Domonette advances on you, she is equipped with a mop and a misplaced sense of moral superiority.

She is not yet triggered.

>What do?

>>36373624
>Trigger her
>Make her strength ours

>>36373472
I'm so sorry, my crossdressing enthusiast friend, you posted too late for me to put Slab in a dress to seduce some dudes for totally rational and not at all homoerotic reasons.

Soon.

>>36373624
>You kick in the door to RomCom High, interrupting fifty different HILARIOUS misunderstandings as awkward and bland young men are knocked over by the shockwave, falling atop an assortment of childhood friends and mysterious tsundere foreign exchange students hand to breast like a row of sexually frustrated dominos.
So, it's harem High?

There is only way to defuse the situation.
>"So, how much do you earn here?"
We know full well of her ideals.

After her answer, give her money, with the implication of prostitution.
Let's see how she handles her money allergy.

Also, tell Imouto to get out and make Devon a real girl. Magically, if possible, but a cute dress is mandatory.

>>36373722
It's okay! For now, though, we must fend off this nice Domonette and their whorish ways of injecting their fetishes into everything.

>Sweep the floor with her!

>>36373733
>Also, tell Imouto to get out and make Devon a real girl. Magically, if possible, but a cute dress is mandatory.
She can still have a dick, though, right?

>>36373789
Of course, anon, all the best girls have dicks.

>>36373789
>>36373801
Can't we make it a Schroedinger?
He can manifest his dick at will.

But pure love requires to not have a dick.

>>36373753
IT'S 'MOP THE FLOOR,' YOU FOOL!

>>36373841
Nah, people should be satisfied with their bodies.

>>36373880
But we can't our underage sister have impure love.

>>36373943
Then let's give him a magic cock limiter ring or whatever.

"Hey Domonette, how much do you earn here?" you roar, exposed pecs glistening in the florescent lighting.

"It's community service, because the police found my collection of severed dicks."

You laugh, hand over your face as you throb with glorious energies. The fool has fallen right into your trap.

"So what you're saying is... you do it for free?"

She screeches, all seventeen chins flapping wildly as the truth of her occupation comes to light. You flex your buttocks, your wallet launched from the back pocket of your impossibly tight pants. Catching it you whip out a fifty.

"How about I give you some financial compensation you hotpocket huffing hussy?"

Launching forwards you drive the non-bitcoin currency into her face, the pockmarked skin sizzling on contact as her allergy to glorious capitalism flares up.

Unfortunately, you only succeed in making her angrier, lashing out at you with a mop coated in the combined frustration of a thousand young men, wails of "stop domming me, male!" uttering from her cavernous maw.

"Onii-chan, let me help!" your kawaii sister cries, pointing her phallic staff at the barbaric ham-behemoth.

"No, imouto, you are still too young and impure, take Devon and complete the process, make him into a qt magical girl so that he may join our quest!"

With your sister and her soon to be trap "girl"friend out of harms way, you turn to your adversary.

You unleash your fury, "QUE TEETEETEETEETEETEETEETEE GEEEEE" you roar, but sadly, the deranged Domonette is a master of blocks, and you are forced to evade them.

Looks like it's time for another plan.

Her Triggered Level is currently at 43%

>Distract her by claiming you saw a Satyr
>Accuse her of privilege
>Unleash the power of illusionary punches, aka Ghostposting.

>>36374024
>>Distract her by claiming you saw a Satyr
>>Accuse her of privilege
>>Unleash the power of illusionary punches, aka Ghostposting.

All of it.

>>36374024
Start reciting Ovid's Ars Amatoria.
Especially the chapter about "It's the woman's fault if she's raped after passing out drunk".

Then shout to all the hopeless harem leads in the room that this woman wants to take the freedom of their girls.
You know how harem leads can be if their girls are threatened.

>>36374024
>Accuse her of privilege
"You MURDERED that pansexual tucute bunnykin the other day! What's wrong with you!?"

"Hey mopjockey, you're so busy fighting me you didn't even notice that Satyr having sex with an underaged girl behind you."

"NOOOOOO!" screeches Domonette, foaming at the mouth with hatred for mythical creatures transposed into a modern setting.

With the blubbery beast distracted, you can focus your inner qi into pure stylishness, arms up, head down, rainbows and glitter blasting off in all directions. From this zen state of pure heterosexual fury, you unlock a new hidden power.

>YOU HAVE UNLOCKED GHOSTPOSTING, THE ILLUSIONARY PUNCH COMBO OF THE MOE MONKS

"You may claim to care for the downtrodden, but what of that most innocent of creatures, the pansexual tucute bunnykin? Did you truly think your MURDER of her would go unnoticed?"

"She forced me to, I told her to peg some dudes and she wouldn't, that degenerate," Domonette blubbers.

Seeing your opportunity, you unleash a barrage of Ghostposts, every invisible yet alluring punch accompanied by a line from Ovid's Ars Amatoria, striking at her in both body and soul.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Domonette screams, overwhelmed by your superior masculine physique. "Damn you, Slab Bulkhead, we could have had something beautiful together, but now you are a rapist, just like all of the others!"

You smirk, for although she does not know it, she is already dead. You feel the eyes of the masses upon you, and you turn to them, activating your most diplomatic pose, groin thrust heavenward.

"Young and awkward men seeking love, do you truly believe you can ignore this cancer in your midst any longer? Perhaps today she is only striking at the bunnykins and pocket monster fuckers, but tomorrow it may be you she comes after, to take the freedom of your designated love interests!"

The crowd surges forwards, fueled by the righteous anger of one defending his waifu.

As they descend on Domonette, you hear a panicked cry of "n-not muh fetish!" before she is no more.

Your imouto and Devon are nowhere to be seen.

>What do?

>>36374527
Consume trees in order to gain elemental powers, then try to find the imouto.

Alright, I'm stepping out, anyone wants to take over, just do it, keep the dream alive.

I think I'm like the sixth QM or something.

>>36374573
>Consume trees in order to
And now I want to play Warcraft 3 again.

Consume trees to replenish HP.

Use the art of IP backtrace to find our Imouto. If everything is in order, go to town and rally the hooligans.
It's time for a heterosexual road trip with fourty guys in tight clothes and fabulous poses.

>>36374622
Consume trees to attract an elf-god!

>>36374673
You mean the wrath of an elf god.

Do we really want an elf to one-up us with his fabulous superior polished-marble body?

File: Jotaro and Dio.png (1.45 MB, 1366x768)

1.45 MB PNG

>>36374701
Are you saying Cenarion has shit on us?

Consume trees to switch gender.

You strike a fabulous pose and scan the room. Scanning for boys.
You see half a dozen promising individuals. Boys with dark pasts. Boys with low-power attitudes. Boys that don't give a fuck.
What they all share: Their gloom

Time to make it right.
But first, you have to eat. You feel like you could eat an entire tree.
In fact, there's a really delicious-looking tree outside. You must be really fucking hungry.
Before you can offend any local wood elf spirits, you decide to get some proper food.

But first, you collect the boys. Slapping them on their backs. Dragging them along.
One by one, you create your own heterosexual harem of gloomy high school boys.

And on you go. To town!
Unfortunately, you don't have a car.

>what do

Also, this will be my only update. I suck balls.

File: 1416272607251.png (247 KB, 500x350)

247 KB PNG

>>36374701
>>36374673
>>36374573
You decide that before you continue on this most fabulous journey some decent nourishment is needed. Thus you leave this wretched city and head into the legendary Ancient Totally Not Evil Forest (TM).
Getting there takis you seconds, as your fantastic and well oiled abs are only less fantastic than your thick and powerful thighs, which can propel you at speeds unimaginable to most unfabulous people.

Reaching the forest you start ravaging the trees, drinking their wet and sugary liquid as you punch holes in them using your hard and unrelenting punches .
Soon you devour their bark, trunks and roots, and nothing is left of those proud trees.

All was well, but you hear a thundering noise... and in the horizon see a shining light... Could it be? The fabled pecs of the Elfen God-King!
You're certainly fabulous but aren't certain you could take him on in a contest of masculinity and muscles.

>Run away! No chance we're fighting this motherfucker
>NO! I'm the MOST FABULOUS, MOST MANLY, MY ABS ARE IMPECABLE, BY THE POWER OF MY BICEPS HE SHALL BE SLAIN.
>I kinda want to have sex with the elf, kinda

ITT:
A quest thread if everyone was the QM.

>>36374874
>>36374939
>Challenge the Elfen God-King to a contest!
Transform the two of you into women, and then have a swimsuit contest with the harem as judges.
>Act moe to win while he acts regal.

>>36374874
>>36374939
Looks like our soul entered the evil forest while our body is acting in the real world.

This is awkward.

>>36375045
Well, of course. The evil forest is ethereal.

Please someone decent make this continue.

You face the elven king head on. For with the power of delicious trees flowing in your veins and perfectly sculpted pecs protecting your noble heart, this pointy eared rape magnet cannot defeat you.

"Who dares to harm my forest. Know ye not what happens to manfolk whom put my wood in their mouths, mortal?" Booms the Elfen God-King, the radiance of the sun gleaming from his steely thighs. As expected as the most fabulous and manly of the elfen race, he has never once skipped leg day.

You laugh, head thrown back, arms wide and inviting. "I am no mortal, I am SLAB BULKHEAD, SLAYER OF JANITORS AND PROTECTOR OF IMOUTOS, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CONTEST OF STRENGTH AND BEAUTY!"

The Elfen God-King matches you flex for flex, nipples erect with elfen pride.

"How amusing, mortal, but know ye not that the elfen god-king has the most perfect of forms, for he has squatted such that the gods of the very slavs themselves wept in envy! I shall accept your foolish challenge, name ye the terms!"

You smirk. You knew that the elfen god-king would be unable to resist your challenge, and now you have him.

"I challenge you, to a swimsuit contest, a WOMENS swimsuit contest. I call upon the ancient Quest Masters of the Evil Forest to change our bodies that we may compete in the spirit of the contest!"

With a thunderclap and entirely nsfw transformation sequence you find your body of masculine perfection giving way to pure feminine grace. You are glad your precious imouto is in the real world, following the alternate plot thread. If she were to witness your obvious superiority as a woman, it would forever shatter her maiden heart.

You cannot rest idle however, for the elfen god-queen now stands before you in a sexy leaf bikini, easy to remove to ensure quick and efficient rape, as expected of an elf woman.

How will you win this contest, SLABRINA BULKHEAD?

>Write In

You get your harem of boy-toys to carry you like a palanquin over to the nearest fast food joint, and order burgers for everyone! As soon as you get it, you
>take another bite out of the scrumptious root in your hand, daring the Elfen God-King to say something. He glares at you, completely silent to the point where a chill runs though your body for an instant.
"Slab-kun, what's wrong?" asks one your guys while he dejectedly dips his french fry in ketchup.

"Oh, it's nothing, say, wanna see a neat trick I can do?"
>Taking up a stance you learned from when you were dead, you hold out your front hand, and beckon him towards you (while also taking another bite out of that root. Shit's good!)

>He holds up his hand, and opens his palm, a tiny light coming out that grows to envelop the entirety of the forest.

"Bulkhead-san! Where are we!?" asks Jimmy.
"Wait, what's happened to Senpai?" inquires Billy Jo.

Twirling around, you notice that you've got a nice rack, as well as a cute butt. Fearing the worst, you lift the front of your jeans a bit, and are horrified to see pussy where your dick once was. Luckily, once you think about having a dick, it sprouts out and replaces the female organ. That was a close one!


WAIT, GODDAMNIT I WAS TOO LATE, FORGET THIS

>>36376099
>>36376167
So basically Slab is going on a dreamquest while he continues to act in the real world.

>>36376099
>Stay humble and moe, and look innocent while we strategically fuck up to win the crowd's favor.

Is this a good time for rolls?

>>36376263
Slab Bulkhead makes his own destiny, but you may trust to chance if you wish.

Roll 1Dwhateverthefuckyouwant

Rolled 5 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>36376296

Rolled 10 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>>36376296

Rolled 3143 + 42 (1d9001 + 42)

>>36376296

>>36376345
>>36376392
>>36376394
Oh shit, things aren't looking so good! We need to accidentally pop our top off and blush like a fool while intentionally unintentionally giving the judges a show!

>>36376424
Fumble around on the ground, hand over breast, occasionally bouncing into view "accidentally"

>>36376099
Just rape the Elf-god-queen/king/whatever

>>36376503
Yeah, he won't be able to transform back into his godly form when we have our dick in his cunt.

Rolled 589 (1d666)

>>36376296
Oy
I summon Saten

Rolled 251 (1d666)

>>36376565
Well didn't work, fug

Rolled 447 (1d666)

>>36376602
Hail Satan!

Rolled 110 (1d666)

>>36376548
>>36376503

Rape is always good, I support this.

>>36376619
HAIL

Your puny rolls disgust me, you have provoked the ire of the dread mods!

As you formulate a plan, the elfen god-queen springs into action, the back of one hand placed to the side of her mouth as a grating FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU echoes through the Evil Forest.

She is acting regal, as you expected. Fortunately he power is limited by her lack of implausibly large drills.

Seeing your chance, you spring into action. You press your hands together, your breasts snug as you use your perfect control over your blood vessels to bring a kawaii blush to your cheeks.

"You are amazing, so beautiful... m-may I call you, onee-sama?"

You hear a HNNNG from the ethereal judges, you must have scored some good points there, you just need to keep up the act.

"How foolish," sneers the elf-queen, "why would I ever wish to be the onee-sama of one with such disgusting COW TITS!"

You gasp, fighting back tears brought on by your new feminine hormones and shit. Words truly can hurt like the punches of a well-oiled warrior.

Fortunately, fate conspires to aid you in your hour of need, as your bikini top snaps under the weight of emotional pressure and obscene milk bags.

As you kyaaa loudly, struggling to cover yourself, but not too well, the forest is bathed in a warm white light, the ethereal jizz of the Quest Masters raining down upon you all.

You find yourself returned to your manly form as you defeat the elf-queen, and now that you have won, there is only one thing to do, and both you and the elf queen know it.

"No, not my precious virginity, I was saving that for a weak male lead!" she wails, as you tear aside her bikini, but before you can j-j-j-jam it in, a thunderclap throws you from your feet.

How foolish, you had forgotten that the elder gods revile male dom rape, and they have sent a champion to defeat you.

The Dread Fedora stands before you.

He drawls a "m'laaaaaady" as he leers with innocent feminist concern at the fallen elf-queen.

>WAT DO!?

Rolled 364 (1d666)

>>36376626
Rape him and tell him to bow to his genderfluid, fabulous pansexual satanistic master.

>>36376626
>Revert back to a female, and cower from the fedora-tipper.
>Cling to the elfen god-queen and murmur apologies.
>"R-r-rape!"

Rolled 341 (1d665)

>>36376650
This

Rolled 131 (1d666)

>>36376650
This

Rolled 318 (1d666)

>>36376650
Oh of course, since he's a male so he can't be raped.

>>>/visual/light novels/
>>>/not tg/
>>>/a/

>onii-chan
Fun fact, nobody in real world speak like that..

>>36376626
>>36376650 while in shemale form.

>>36376706
>visual light novels
You mean quests?
Descendants of Choose Your Own Adventures?
A traditional single player 'game'?
Not ringing any bells?
Alright tell you what, mods say this is the place for quests, so how about you sod off.

Fun Fact: Your english is broken, nobody "speak" like that.

Fun Fact 2: People can do whatever the fuck they want in fiction so, again sod off.

>>36376706
Which is EXACTLY the point.

Have you read the thread?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>36376626
CRUSH HIS HAT

Rolled 7, 20, 14, 2, 18, 14 = 75 (6d20)

>>36376798
CRUSH HIS CAT

Rolled 8, 6, 17, 11, 17, 6, 11, 7, 7, 3, 12, 5, 12, 17, 15, 4, 4, 9, 10, 11, 17, 15, 13, 14, 5 = 256 (25d20)

>>36376805
CRUSH HIS FAT

"WHEREVER I GO, I MUST ALSO RAPE, QUIT OPPRESSING MY CULTURE, SHITLORD!" you roar, thrusting at the wretched creature of hat and envy.

The Dread Fedora tries to use his powers of ultimate atheism, but he has miscalculated, for you are no mere mortal, you have the power of vampires, trees and satan in your veins.

You throw up the horns as you feel dark power flow through you.

"Your gods cannot save you now, fedorafag!"

"My gods are a lie... wait... I mean-"

You don't give him time to create a logical paradox, for you must make the ultimate sacrifice, you must fuck the unfuckable.

You savagely violate the fedoraclad athiestic agent of the divine, reminding him with every thrust that he is a man, and therefore this is not rape.

When you have sated your lust upon him, you cast him to the ground.

"How naive, bow before your genderfluid, fabulous pansexual satanic master" you laugh, crushing his fedora in one steely hand, a pair of horns now sprouting from your forehead as you awaken to the power of a FABULOUS PRINCE OF HELL.

>YOU NOW HAVE SATAN POWERS, FUCK YEAH!

The elf-queen has been paralyzed by your manly display, so you do what must be done, for who would want to live in a world where elf must go unraped to satisfy the whims of cruel and distant gods.

You give her the D, roaring your contempt at the heavens and those feeble elder mods who would deny you your birthright.

The now fedoraless creature weeps freely, watching as you violate his one true love whom he met like five minutes ago.

"M'lady, noooo, I thought we had something special!" he wails, as the elf-queen surrenders her body to your superior and stylish vampire-demon-dick.

"I- I... ahhh, I think we should just be frieeeeends!" she cries as she climaxes all over the Evil Forest. The force of her orgasm tearing a portal back to the mortal realm.

You leave the broken warrior of social justice where he lies, returning to the mortal realm with your new dickslut in tow.

>What now, Son of Satan?

>>36376886
>nuzzle the elf queen, slide your hand through her hair, nibble on her ears
>Realize we've been fucking burgers
>but hey, new elf waifu!

>>36376886
reading this quest makes me feel like I'm staring at a million ancient kingdoms burning in atomic fire

take that as you will

>>36377005
That reminds me.
We should burn a million ancient kingdoms in atomic fire.

>>36376886
Transform the Elf Slut into a portable slut elf for fucking whenever.
Then go look for some trabble

>>36376886
PURGE THE UNCLEAN

>>36376886
>a pair of horns now sprouting from your forehead as you awaken to the power of a FABULOUS PRINCE OF HELL.
Oh dear, I hope our sister doesn't think too poorly of us! Well, it seems as though we'll eventually have to fight one day. She is a guardian of all that is pure and good. Then again, who says that devilry isn't pure and good?

]spoiler]What's imouto's fucking name, again?

>>36377158
Niggerchan

>>36377189
Nooooooooo not that one

You spend some time in the foyer of the burger place engaging in lewd activities with your new elf slut. You get a strange sensation, as if a thousand shitposters cried out as one, then were silenced.

You think you might have gained a waifu. So that's how it feels.

"Onii-chan, it's you, what happened to you?" cries your imouto, finally finding a suitable opportunity to return to the story, dragging an incredibly uncomfortable looking Devon behind her in a cute schoolgirl outfit several sizes too small.

"Well, my darling imouto, I defeated Domonette, was sucked into an Evil Forest, tricked the Elf God-King into becoming a God-Queen, became a woman, became kawaii, defeated the God-Queen with the power of tits, became a man, was attacked by some shit with a fedora, raped him, then raped the Elf God-Queen, tearing a portal through time and space as I did... also I am now apparently a duke of hell."

"Geez, Onii-chan, first Devon now Elf God-King-San, why are you always trying to turn guys into girls? Is that your fetish?"

"It is because I must protect your purity from the men of this world, my darling imouto, so that you may one day unlock your true powers, and also become my bride if this quest descends into pure smut."

"Onii-chan, I keep telling you, I'm not into inces-"

"Shhh, shhh, no talking now, only adventure."

You strike a pose, causing a moistening of all loins within a five mile radius. Your satan powers have multiplied your fabulousness a hundred fold, and all the sexually frustrated anons posting responses are only making it worse.

>Fuck Elf
>Fuck Devon
>Fuck Imouto lol jk, it will be at least 5000000 threads before you can bone your sister.
>Fuck Burger
>Enough of this smutquest bullshit, aint no-one jacking off to this quest, go PURGE THE UNCLEAN


>>36377158
Her name is Imouto Bulkhead.

>>36367183
>not picking Malkuth

>>36377366
>Fuck all four of them at the same time with the power OF DEVIL DICK TENTACLES

>>36376886
It's simple,We take our new elf waifu to the real world!

>>36377395
>>36377366
This.
WHILE PURGING THE UNCLEAN with our chaos guns (kek)

>>36377366
>See if Devon would make a good match with our imouto
>Fuck him anyways

>>36377366
>Fuck Burger
I swear, it was coming onto me!

>>36377366
>We force Devon and Imouto to write their names on a paper that says, "MARRIED," on it, and then Devon has sex with Imouto in the missionary position. We position ourselves behind him, get him nice and wet, and then jam it in. Queen-chan grows her dick back and has her way with our back door.

>>36377366
>Use ketchup as lube.

I wonder what OPs original plan was.

>>36377366
>Her name is Imouto Bulkhead.
But her "fucking name" is Niggerchan, right?

>>36377496
Every single QM is actually OP

>>36377496
To have a disguised cutie gee

>>36367862
Someone else should take over.

>>36377366
>Finish inside Burger.

>>36377496
The world may never know, or care.

>>36377540
They have.

At least seven times in fact.

>>36377366
>Fuck Elf
>Fuck Devon
>Fuck Imouto

>>36377637
But we don't want to force Imouto into anything, we love her!

Your lusty eye surveys the collection of fine ass around you. Your pure imouto, so young, so innocent, so ready for a good hard dicking. Her boyfriend Devon, trapping like a pro, dick straining against frilly panties. Your new elf-slut, covered in jizz and ketchup from her sudden landing in the mortal world, like the stripes on the flag of this great country. Finally the seductive burger, its buns exposed, meat peeking seductively from soft lips.

"NO MORE WAITING!" you roar, "NOW I SHALL MAKE YOU ALL MY WAIFUS AND THE WORLD SHALL TREMBLE BEFORE OUR FREAKISH ORGY OF DESTRUCTION!"

"Wha- what? But onii-chan?" gasps your imouto.

"But I'm not even gay!" cries Devon.

"I love dick!" moans the Elf-Queen.

"..." laughs the Burger.

Your tight tight pants erupt in an explosion of demonic dicks, writhing like some majestic octopus from the depths of the collective imagination of GLORIOUS NIPPON.

You seize a bottle of ketchup, spraying it across your comrades, preparing them for the hardcore fucking to come.

"But onii-chan, I'm ovulating!" cries your precious imouto as you show her the purest form of love, blood related sibling incest.

"Not my butt, only the entire RomCom High football team ever stuck it in there!" cries Devon as you hammer his boypussy in the most heterosexual manner imaginable.

"DICKS!" cries the Elf-Queen, ensuring your mindbreak quota for the quest.

"..." squelches the burger, as you add another layer of meat.

"NOW ACCEPT MY LOVE, MY FRIENDSHIP, MY SEMEN!" you roar, impregnating all four of them, because true love crosses all boundaries of animal, vegetable and mineral.

"O-onii chan, I love you," gasps your imouto.

"I love you too, onii-chan" Devon agrees.

"We all love you, onii-chan" concurs the Burger, brought to life by your magical demon seed.

"DICKS!" adds the Elf-Queen.

"hahaha, you said it, Elf Queen", you chuckle, holding your four new wives close as you purge the city with atomic hellfire.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

NEXT QM PLZ

>>36377858
In the grim dark of the 21st Milleniu there is only devil dicks.

INTERLUDE I: THE REBELLION

For your entire life you've been fighting your fellow men, world war II, korea, nam, the gulf war, the iraq invasion. Somehow you fought and lived through all that while still looking like...

>a very tsundere little girl
>a bearded texan martial artist
>a buzz cut, wife beater wearing macho man
>write in?
But everything changed, now there's a new enemy on the battlefield: demonic rapist vampires, the spawn of the Fabulous Satanic Overlord, have started destroying the United States. Soon they'll take over the world.

Your name is (write in)
And you're gonna stop 'em

>this entire thread
>collaborative QMing at it's prime

>>36378052
>>a very tsundere little girl

>Your name is
Punch Rockgroin

>>36378052
>a very tsundere little girl martial artist from texas in a wife beater.

>>36378052
>a very tsundere little girl
Name: Mary Sue.

>>36378193
>>36378196
These two.

>>36378196
Hahah this

File: angel detective.jpg (28 KB, 310x460)

28 KB JPG

>>36378052
>Boring~! We're a sexy angel detective now.

America City, the last bastion of humanity on Earth, meaning it's one of the only places left that harbor the wretched beasts that cast themselves from Papa's sacred garden. Apparently, there's been a murder, and while normally it would be a cold day in Papa's lap before a thing like murder would be brought to your attention, this one's special: the victim's soul hasn't left the earth yet.

Fuckin' necromancers.

You swoop down into an alleyway, and take in the scene of the crime. On the ground is a pool of dried blood, and a bloody knife, also dried blood. It reminds you of how you and your sisters would squirt ketchup on each other, and then please yourselves and each other while thinking of Papa. Oh, Papa! Teehee...

Shaking your head free of impure thoughts, you have 2 avenues of thought to chase.

>1. Who is responsible for killing the escapee, and what foul arts could they have possibly used?
>2. Where is the escapee now?

File: 1416588366548.gif (559 KB, 400x276)

559 KB GIF

>>36378196
>>36378196
>>36378207
>>36378233
Heh
So Martial Artist Tsundere Little Girl from Texas wearing a Wife Beater it is.

>>36378052
Just another morning, like any others, except for the crazy demon rapists screaming outside.
You get up from your bed and put on your dirtiest wife beater available, put on some cammo pants and get to work. You're Punc Rockgroin, veteran of 5 wears and lightweight champion for pretty much every championship, ever, including the ones you didn't participate in.

After putting your clothes you decide to grab your gear:

>Heavy Gear - Dual linked bolters with flamethrowers attached
>Demolitions Gear - A Rocket Launcher that fires smaller rocket launchers
>Melee Gear - A comically oversized purple dildo
(pick one or more)

And now onto business, you have a few options, you could clean up the city a bit, kill some rapist demons, or maybe you could torture them with their on medicine heh
You could also just go straight ahead for the Big Demon Boss.

Oooor you just do whatever (write in)

So what do you do, 80s Action Loli?

>>36378428
>A Rocket Launcher that fires comically oversized dildo rockets

File: Índice.jpg (6 KB, 218x231)

6 KB JPG

>>36378487
So lewd anon

>>36378405
>1. Who is responsible for killing the escapee, and what foul arts could they have possibly used?

This thread is so cray.

>>36378405
>1. Who is responsible for killing the escapee, and what foul arts could they have possibly used?
Was kinda wondering about that

>>36378428
>big demon boss
>melee gear

>>36378405
wait your turn

>>36378487
>>36378428
This

>>36378428
big boss, wielding the >>36378487 dildo rocket

>>36378565
Okay~!

>>36378428
>>36378487
This.

The only way to defeat demon rapists is through counter-rape.

>>36378428
Seconding >>36378487

Let's get this dildo party started.

N-not that we want to rape them or anything, we're just doing it for the good of mankind.

>>36378578
>>36378565
>>36378487
You plan to kill the Big Demon Boss, which makes you the ballsiest motherfucker that ever walked this godforsaken Earth... even though you don't have any physical balls yet , being a little girl and all.

But truth is Punch RockGroin gives no fucks. You grab the biggest dildo you have and strap it to your back (it's about as big as three of you, l-lewd), then you attach your holsters, and in them put your Badass Purple-Rocket-Dildo Launchers (TM). Fucking ready to go? HELL YEAH.

After going down stairs and killing a couple of demons you beat one into submission, by ravaging his ass with your rocket dildos he's now your personal mount demon. You name him:
>Write in

Riding him to the devils lair as fast as possible you soon appear before the gates of NEW HELL.
There's a couple slutty demon guards standing around actually working, as well as some Demon-Elf cockslaves partying with the offwork guards.
Also this weird bearded hamburguer seems to be staring right at ye.

>what do?

Dropping off I guess, don't want to monopolize things

>>36378798
>al gasreed

>fire poon-seeking orange dildo

keep going as long as you want, there is no monopoly in kabbalah

>>36378850
That other guy seems reeeally eager though.
And it's Kabbalah tradition for QMs to ABANDON THREAD

>the original guy comes to /tg/
>notices his quest is still up and with 200+ replies
>comes check it out
>his feels

>>36378798
>Buttslut McGee
>Make out with the Burgerbeing for a bit (eat it), and then rocket jump over the gates.

>>36378921
I'm interested in where your story is going, please, don't mind me!

>>36378944
Hmm oh well, sure I'll keep going then (?)

>>36378922
>>36378850
Is Buttreed McSlutgas good enough a mix since you're the only two votes?

>>36378980
That's an excellent name.

>>36378980
Sounds good to me.

>>36378980
I'll just go with it.

--------

Finally you have are the gates of New Hell, you dismount your untrustworthy mount Buttreed McSlutgas and go straight for the hamburger. The bearded hamburguer starts talking:
"I'm so glad a hero has fin...."
But is interrupted by your kisses, caresses and holding his hand .
After a quite long make out session the hamburguer, clearly flushes (or maybe it's just ketchup) tries to continue his previous speech:
"As I was saying, I'm glad a hero is here, now that you're here you can help us save hamburguerkind from the Devil Tyrant. He has mutated some of ours into..."
Yeah no fuck this. If you see any hamburguers you're fuckeating them.
After taking a bite of the old man burger you get onto trespassing into New Hell. How?

You jump REALLY HIGH, your delicious loli legs able to throw you up to 30 meters in the air despite their size and the lack of muscles. As you furiously cross the skies you decide it's time for PURGING, so you arm yourself with the Dildo Launchers and start firing.
A gory mess of demon flesh, green blood and semen can be seen amidst the explosions. Gigantic dildos penetrating the victims and then exploding in a shower of bodily fluids. Beautiful.

Just as you think that you realize you won't get cleanly above the wall, you're heading straight into it... Fuck it.
You're Punch RockGroin, so you take that fucking wall like a pro. Just a few bruises, but you should've seen the other guy/wall.

Well now you managed to get into New Hall, it's a city of Rape, Crime, Corruption and Bureacracy, what do?

File: 1411102491443.jpg (9 KB, 208x243)

9 KB JPG

>>36379179
RAMPAGE!

>>36379179
flushed*

I just type this shit while reading my textbook so sorry for the absolute utter shit quality, I mean it manages to be bad even for a hu3quest.

>>36379179
Take a loli nap, then interrogaterape the next passerby you see for the location of the Fabulous Satanic Overlord.

>>36379179
>Still not half as bad as the 4th battle of the Alamo where you had to single-handedly fight off the Mexican Cartel, illegal terrorists and sicklys, and Mecha-Santa Anna's robots.

>>36379179
Chase down and eatrape burgers

>>36379254
>>36379248
"Still not half as bad as the 4th battle of the Alamo where you had to single-handedly fight off the Mexican Cartel, illegal terrorists and sicklys, and Mecha-Santa Anna's robots.
God damn all fucking latinos, I hate mexicans so much, fucking spics"
A little rant about chicanos never fails to ease the situation for you. You hate them so much, yes you do. You only hate the jews more.

You decide a short nap near the wall is in order, to recover from all this wall busting and hamburguer kissing. Not long afterwards you wake, a weird warm and gel-like felling between your legs. Should just be sweat you guess, maybe...
You were about to go pondering on what it might be when suddenly an idea comes to you:
RAMPAGE
A rampage? Oh yes, yes a Rampage! That seems like a great idea you think. It's time to kill some bitches, doesn't matter if it's before or after you rape 'em.
Readying your swordildo you lunge into a crowd of demon "civilians". They are defenseless against your powers, and thus the slaughter begins.
Limbs and guts fly all over the place, a succubus cries as you impale her with your oversized penis simulator. She had no chance at survival. You crush some, impale others, a few you just rape with your own bear hands, but all of the passerbys get fuckmurdered by Punch.
Except that one loli hamburguer-succubus, you keep her for interrogation:

>Write in for interrogation methods and specific questions.

>>36379361
>>36379308
>>36379254
>>36379248
>>36379253
I'm trying my best to adapt them all alright?
They're all such great ideas.

>>36379442
>"Where is the Devil Tyrant?"
>Eat her out in a purely sexual way

>>36379442
Do the best interrogation secret we know...PET HER HEAD TILL SHE TELLS US ALL SHE KNOWS!

>>36379515
You're doing just fine!

This quest is going places.

Places I didn't know exist or particularly wanted to know.

I have been following this since it first went off the rails, but now I must leave. One of you fabulous bastards best archive this before it drops off page 10!

>>36379527
>>36379519
Well going with these as of 22:41.
Will add any others as they show up.

-------
It's time for enhanced interrogation techniques and yuri.
You force the loli to sit on a chair and tie her with some daemonic guts you found lying around. She seems a bit scared but being tied up made her really flushed and wet, maybe that's her fetish? Really? Submissive demon lolis? Well whatever.

The first technique is... HEAD PETTING. An ancient secret you learned while in Korea, it certainly proved functional over the years. After a couple seconds of stroking her head she's almost orgasming, shit better ask her some questions now
"So where the fuck is the Devil Boss Tyrant King whatever?"
"Master... yes... master, the demon is in the big tower of deathrape"
What an ominous name. You wonder were it ...
Oh shit, is it that huge spikey spire in the middle of NEW HELL?
Of course it is. Who the fuck names their lair "Tower of Deathrape", christ.

Turning your attention to the loli you realize her please ir so great she's almost reaching a demonic orgasm, better capitalize on that.
You start licking her lower lips and girl penis
Feels good, for her. She cums, and you feel overflowing energy emanating from her. The demonic powers get into you and give you a daemonic shapeshifting capability!
For your first trick you increase your loli tits to F cup. NICE

+New COMPANION: Loli Hamburguer-Succubus

>What do now?
bovywh the

>>36379855
Use your new shapeshifting powers to infiltrate the Tower of Deathrape while disguised as the sexiest thing you can think of.

A hamburger.

>>36379941
Truly the sexiest.

Archived this thread by the way
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Kabbalah%20Quest

>>36379855
>Pray to Baby Jesus for assistance, he's been good to you over the years, and besides, he's owes you one.
>Khallenge the Devil Lord to Sexual Kombat.

>>36379855
Finally grow those balls we've metaphorically carried all these years

>>36379855
Head towards the tower, use LHS as a sheath for the purple dildo.

>>36379941
>>36380085

Well we'll do it then:

------

The great battle is nigh, soon you shall face the deadliest enemy of your life. Maybe you can get some help?
Yeah that'd be good. Getting down on your knees you start praying:
"Dear Baby Jesus...
Absolute and all knowing Baby Jesus,
Nothing is hidden from Your Dick
In the prescience since the beginning,
All dicks existed within You.
Kindly share Your Dick with me,
Making me aware of what is meant to be,
Permitting my soul to understand it,
And wisdom to agree with its outcome.
Provide me with the gift of dicks
To prudently apply the received dick,
To ensure the fulfillment of Your Ejaculation.
Your Red Tasty Head shines forth forever!"

That seemed powerful... oh wow! WOW!
You've gained wings! Angelic wings!
And... BABY JESUS BE PRAISED, you grew an angelic penis, it's so large it's almost as big as both of your legs, amazing indeed.

This is the time then, you'll go face the demon lord.

Shapeshifting into the form of a sexy hamburger you go to meet your final foe. Using this new form you avoid all the security measures, and easily get inside the castle by insinuating your tasty buns and your big meat.

All is easy.

Finally you arrive at the Demon King's chambers, it seems he's accompanied by his 4 personal cocksluts.
>Hamburgia, Queen of Demonburgers
>The nameless Elf Queen, Master of all Sluts
>Imouto Hime Bulkhead, Queen of Demon Lolis
>Devon, Lord/Lady of Traps

Seems thing won't be as easy as planned...

And that's it folks, I need to go to study calculus

>>36380319

>>36380301
>>36380289
Shit so close to my post.
Let me retcon this then:

You did grow those damn balls, they came along with the angelic dick.
And the purple dildo, well it was the main filling for the hamburguer form.
Dildo burguers, yummy.

>>36380289
>>36380356
We can't, they'd be too heavy and drag us down. We wouldn't be able to move!

>>36380403
They're fourth dimensional balls.
They are beyond simple things such as weight.
They also have some hidden powers but you don't know that!

Just asking here but
WERE YOU ENTERTAINED?

>>36380501
Very.

Rolled 456 (1d666)

>>36380501
I was entertained this much /satan

Rolled 566 (1d666)

>>36380537
>>36380514
Good, good. Well, see you anons, have fun!

>>36380501
It was fantastic.

I've got company over, so I can't do shit. I just hope that Punch's isn't the only angelic dick that shows up.

>>36380319
With brazen trumpets flaring into the chaotic skies seen through the open-topped tower the Demon King majestically paces towards you.

"What brings you to my domain, dirty wife-beater bearing burger-demoness disguised being?"
"No, don't answer that. It is irrelevant. LET US COMMENCE THE BATTLE OF THE FABULOUS FOUR! As you may have guessed, you will be matched against my four personal cocksluts! Only with their collective defeat may you have the privilege to match me!"

"Pick now your first opponent, you luscious loli hamburger!"

>Hamburgia, Queen of Demonburgers
>The nameless Elf Queen, Master of all Sluts
>Imouto Hime Bulkhead, Queen of Demon Lolis
>Devon, Lord/Lady of Traps

>Write-in alliterating retort

File: Kabbalah Quest.png (12 KB, 437x309)

12 KB PNG

>>36380821
>Devon, Lord/Lady of Traps
"Ye havin a giggle ther mate?"
"I swear on me mom, I'll bash ye skull"

>>36380821
>9 qms already
Best quest.

>>36380821
>Devon, Lord/Lady of Traps
>"Let me to figure out whether you're a lad or a lassy. Don't want to lay with a man as a woman. Or is gender unrelated to sex? GET ON MY DICK ALREADY"

>captcha: checkaI Theological

>>36380821
>"OBJECTION!"
Time to go phoenix wright on this shit!

>>36380821
>Devon, Lord/Lady of Traps
Purify dat boypussy.

So if our dick is angelic, does that mean we can turn them all to the side of justice?

>>36381063
Possibly. It also castes smite.

>>36381063
Yes it involve plenty of holy......"Water".....

>>36381063
Better yet, we can NTR Slab's harem!

>captcha: the operpoo

>>36381161
I figured we were going to "purify" Slab too. No breaks on the holy rape train!

>>36380821
"Let me to figure out whether you're a lad or a lassy. Don't want to lay with a man as a woman. Or is gender unrelated to sex? GET ON MY DICK ALREADY" you spit out at the blushing bumbling Lordy Devon.

"H-how do you want to go a-about t-this, insurgent? Mortal combat or Test of T-trap?" s/he retorts, "The l-latter being where you must discern which is w-what from a lineup of my fickle s-servants"

"OBJECTION!" you roar back at Lard Devon, your righteous blazing into reality in the form of holy fountains sprouting from the cracked ground behind you.

"B-but.." Lardy Devon subsides into stuttered mumbles, blushing scarlet as a fine spray from a holy fount glances his cheek.

What do?
>Pick one of his proffered challenges
>Write in

>>36380943
I've never QM'ed before. I have no idea what I'm doing. PANIC

>>36381248
Me neither but I'm watching over you from behind this textbook, good luck mate.

>>36381248
Mortal Combat, s/he seems like the weakest, we can overpower Devon and unleash the cock of justice.

>>36381248
>Beat all of his challenges by fucking them in the mouth and butt, genderless things.

>>36381248
>Overcome his/her challenge by doing a sexy striptease, easily revealing who's male and who's female.

>>36381248
>Fuck it just fuck him/her

>>36381248
"MORTAL COMBAT IT IS" you bellow back, deciding that s/he looks weakest of the bunch, "But it would be unfair of me to battle you alone. Have your servants aid you in this struggle if you want a chance of victory!"

"Y-you fiend! J-just because I have t-this small f-feminine form you think you c-can beat me so easily?! C-COME MY SERVANTS!"

From the dusky shadows lining the entire chamber walls slink forth a melange of semi-clad figures, each teetering on the brink of definite femininity. As you draw your gaze across them you spot abnormal bulges here or there, the occasional broad shouldered stance, a waist not narrow enough...

>Roll some imaginative dice

>>36381282
I better not disappoint then

Rolled 6, 9, 15, 16, 5, 8, 7, 10, 13, 5 + 20 = 114 (10d20 + 20)

>>36381693

Rolled 67 (1d69)

>>36381693
Use the traps as improvised weapons against other traps.
Also maybe fire - holy fire - from our angelic dick

Rolled 4, 24, 19, 1, 3, 22, 25, 25, 17, 2, 8, 23 = 173 (12d25)

>>36381693
Praise Jesus!

Oh, forgot to add to last post:

What form do you take for this fight?
>Resume regular loli shape
>Loli + angelic influence
>Retain your succuburgeriness
>Write-in

>>36381835
>Loli + angelic influence

>>36381835
>Loli + angelic influence
You must give the foe everything you've got in order to win!

File: top kek.jpg (60 KB, 329x400)

60 KB JPG

>>36381835
>succuburgeriness
God, this is hilarious

>>36381835
>Loli + angelic influence
Purification time?

>>36381835
>Mahou Shoujo: Lolita Tenshi Punch RockGroin
Magical Angel Girl

Rolled 3226, 3949, 3685, 2394, 1118 = 14372 (5d4321)

>>36381693

Rolled 6584 (1d9000)

>>36381693
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THESE DICE!

>>36381693
Devon grasps a phallic rod from an indiscriminate location, gives a sharp cry and you watch as it unfurls into a longbow that glitters iridescently pink.

S/he tilts forward slightly and reaches around behind, wincing slightly as s/he slowly draws a glistening arrow out, gasping and nocking it to the bow.

All the while the gaggle of traps advance timidly, averting the eyes and blushing furiously as they tremble atop high heels.

There's too many of them to judge by close examination of each so through a moment of brilliance you opt to give them a show.
And what a show it is. Your seeded hips oscillate like a pendulum as you drool down the front of your meat and garnish filling.
You let a little gherkin slip from the crack as you sink lower to the floor, an upward glance shows you have your audience's rapt salivating attention.
Time to kick this up notch.

>>36381761
>Rolled 4, 24, 19, 1, 3, 22, 25, 25, 17, 2, 8, 23 = 173 (12d25)
>Two crit 25's

In a burst of radiant bloom that burns away the burgerflesh you reveal your true appearance! A loli with angelic wings and divine schlong worth of MiniMe!

>>36381721
>Rolled 6, 9, 15, 16, 5, 8, 7, 10, 13, 5 + 20 = 114 (10d20 + 20)
>Dat nat +20

You shrug off the stained wife beater and toss it to one side, a more able-limbed trap rushing to catch it before it hits the ground.
Next are the cargo pants, dropped silkily around your ankles and you step out from them. You keep the boots on because they're awesome.

As you rise to their attention you see the crowd saluting you back. Of course, you think, as if the trap would have any non-traps following him/her.

(Cont. still writing)

Guys, remember to update the archive later when the thread dies.

>>36382176
The archive auto updates until 404 once the request is forwarded.

>>36382066
http://youtu.be/YNkQVoE1rC8

>>36382220
Every two hours. If the thread has any posts between the last update and the newest and it's about to die before getting to the new one, you gotta update manually

>>36382307
Top kek.

>>36382066
Still with us OP?

>>36382066
At this stage Devon manages to break out of the dazzling daze the reveal of your heavenly member wrought.
Drawing back the bow the Ladord of Traps bellows out "Devonshire CREAAMMU!" and let's loose of the string.

>>36381958
>Sum of the digits equals 7 out of 9
>Success!

You bring your dildo-launcher and quickfire it at the incoming projectile.
There is a resounding bang like the rending of flubber and a high-pitched giggle combined and molten purple goo comes raining down upon you.
Or it would if you weren't already on your feet, flying (figuratively) toward the crowding boipussy!

>>36381935
>Rolled 3226, 3949, 3685, 2394, 1118 = 14372 (5d4321)

You wreck havoc amongst the minions, your holy cock pulsing in and out of them, leaving those afflicted by your wang on the floor crying for more. As they fall to the ground heavenly fountains spring from the floor and the shimmering haze causes great rainbows to flood the room. Devon cries out aghast as s/he finds targeting you amidst the incandescance impossible. You press on through the vibrating swarms, grabbing the fallen and using them to better batter their peers, a stroke of your dick jets out a blast of holy fire that scours the devilish presence away.

In time you are left standing face to face with Lordy Devon hermself, you panics and flings the longbow at you.

You bat it away idly and loom in hirs face, leering at the expression adorning it.

>(Cont.)