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All wizards and so on, I summon you. As an admonition of information you are apprised of, all visiting today's showdown cannot work with the glyph "E." Today's topic of discussion: our failing to grant Warriors Inc. an amount of magic armor all concur is our obligation. Burglars took our magic armor prior to our shipping it.

Put forward your opinions as to our options, if you would.
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>>36366616
>45 KB
>Mage Guild Archwizard Antruthius, Head of the Mage Guild and Master of all Arcane Schools 11/24/14(Mon)00:04:36 No.3636

Can't we just get the Smithing Corporation to make us some new stuff?
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>>36366616
But sir, YOU put forth that glyph which has by admonition of informational appraisal was forbid.
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>>36366691
>"Which has by was"

Proof that abolishing glyphs brings not but torturous wordsmithing.
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>>36366616
Eh? I don't understand what yer challenge is. Speak up soney.
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>>36366616
Dude, don't, like, the warrior dude like to go beat up the bandit dudes?

All we have to do is say it's a quest or something archbro.

*extends knuckles for a fist bump*
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>>36366616
Master, here are the forms you wanted.
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>>36366616

What of the Sorcerer's Guild? Once they catch wind of the fact we have failed this transaction, they shall surely attempt to make a counteroffer to this "Warriors Incorporated", and net both a gain in their coffers as well as take a large chunk off of our integrity. We cannot let these upstart youths outdo what we have practiced centuries doing within the span of a year!
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>>36366616

I could go eat those burglars for you. For a price.
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>>36366616
Wait, I want clarity, is our ban on just glyph "E", or on all variants of (E, e, è, ë, so on) said glyph?
Also what is our obligation to Warriors Inc from? Was a task did for us?
I say just drop da bass for to pay, should satisfy.
>>
>>36366616
Scry on them, teleport to their location, and take the armor back?
>>
Rascals and brigands!
>Find all who took part,
>abduct our stuff,
>admonish with ice and pain.
>???
>Profit!
>>
>>36367642
Those insolent upstart fools!
we shall root them out 'till no one man, woman or child stands left alive. We shall deal with them by fire and steel and the power of our arcane might!

we shall poison their wells, kill their livestock and salt their soils. we shall....

Oh wait...didn't we plan to hire and equip some warrior dudes to do just that?
>>
>>36367642
>>36367925
Wait, why is there a sorcerer's guild? I mean, the mage guild is open for all magic users, why did they make their own guild?
>>
>>36367974

When I asked for a third party to consult them on the issue, they replied stating that "The wizards' traditions and rules make it difficult for new spellcasters to get into a position of power, and even harder for somebody to make any active changes within the guild's structure."

The fools think they could do better then we, with the rules that they have so callously thrown aside being perfected after a thousand years of experience! Besides, do each of us as wizards not have an entitlement to a say in our meetings?
>>
>>36368037
Well, I mean we do have some sorcerers in the mage guild. I feel all magic users are fairly represented here. Except the druids. They're all dicks now.
>>
>>36368060
Cursed polymorph spells!
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>>36368037
Oooh woe me, those damnedest arcane justice warriors destroying our precious arcane traditions. We shall fight them. We shall fight them whenever and wherever we can, for they threaten our very way of life.

Also fuck druids, those guys are dicks!
>>
Since the proper papers have yet to be processed, I have no obligation to admit to your silly alphabetical games.
Rest assured, I am currently working on a letter of apology to the Warriors Guild. It is written in Bureaucratic Ink, an object of my own invention, which, when read, makes any message seem so convoluted and filled with unnecessary niceties, legal terms and mumbo jumbo as to be absolutely unreadable to any warrior I have met.
If this fails, I will make sure the insurance will be filed per Paper Golem, fetched straight from the Elemental Plane of Eternal Paperwork.
>>
>>36366616
Truly such an admonition was n- ngh, has not b-... I hav- oh, fuck that.
About our failing to grant warriors an amount of bling in any way I say this is not a point our guild should discuss about. It is not as warriors can grow a pair and start posing ac actual tr- ah, I was about to slip on it. It is damn difficult, you know?
>>
>>36368287
Thank gods.. What was I saying? Oh, yes, the fucking warriors doing all of jack shit and so on, well, it is not like any of us gives a fuck about what meatshields think, right? And no babbling about playing the good neighborhood with the other guilds, it is very clear to me that the wizards are always going to treat anyone else from a point of vantage several feet higher than they could ever hope to achieve.
>>
Is our glorious association in knowing of an account of said ruffians?
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>>36368334
On a more pressing issue, what the fuck is an archspank and why do you feel it is the case of identify yourself as such?
>>
>>36368334
>>36368351
Yes, I too am curious as to what the heck an "Archspank" is.
>>
>>36368351
You'd think you'd know better by now about asking those kinds of questions.
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>>36368379
Wizards, Noel. It is not like we have any sense of right or wrong, let alone being capable of restraining our curiosity. Of course, you are a sorceress, if I recall. This would explain lots of things.
Ah, I feel it is due to inform you soros and I (whelp, he did it all by himself but you know what the jazz is with him) recently solved the ashburn issue once and for all. No more lewd dressing for you- a shame, truly.
>>
>>36368379
>>36368400
So what all ended up happening with Fryia? I had left by then after I made renovations to the guild.
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>>36368400
No skin off my nose, I'm over that page in my life now.

I'm not giving up the minidress look though, just a heads up.
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>>36368416
Don't worry, she's fine now.
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>>36368351
Walk to my boudoir past midnight and I will gladly show you.
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>>36368416
We lost her, in the end. Her body is somewhere out there, this I am sure. Her mind, though, has been probably completely overtaken.
But she left some of her magic bling to you too, so go check her room later.
>>36368436
I am afraid this is not true.
>>36368418
I will never undestand your strange fixation with minidress. Whelp, I will never get why everyone should wear anything that is not an armor of black leather.
>>
>>36368351
Obviously it's a Spank that drops beats sicker than your average Spank. The Spankest, so to speak.
>>
>>36368436
Ah, well that's go-
>>36368443
Oh, well you all have my condolences. I also cannot bring myself to take the things she left behind. I hardly knew her, I only did what I'm sure she would have done for me. If anything Noel should have it all, as a memento. I have all I need in the world right now, the amount of time I've had in this realm has seen to that.
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>>36368455
Part of me find this to be disgusting, but all of my kinks are currently tried to suppress it. Tell me more.
>>
>>36368443
>Whelp, I will never get why everyone should wear anything that is not an armor of black leather.
Because some of us aren't into the BDSM Queen look.
Besides, fire, I wear normal mage clothes I'll pass out from heat exhaustion.
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>>36368484
>Because some of us aren't into the BDSM Queen look.
Either we do not speak the same language or your argument is complete nonsense to me.
>>
>>36368494
I always the felt the best gear for an Eldritch Knight was some runic armor.
>>
I wish to propose a new topic of discussion, seeing that the current topic will be resolved soon.

In about 4 days from now all life on the material plane will turn into sentient soundwaves, and all soundwaves will turn into non-sentient matter of a corresponding arcane spectrum.
Now I believe that the mages guid will be mostly unaffected, die to the nonlinear, n-dimensional nature of our grounds, so there should be no reason to worry.
I dont, however, feel like fucking ultrasounds at the brothel from now on. What is the guilds course of actioncabout that?
>>
>>36368060
#notalldruids
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>>36368508
Well it is not like I am going to wear my heavy armor 24/7, you know. And even that armor is frilly an girly as they come because fuck that, if there is something I learned from Fryia it is that I'm not going to unleash my full magical prowess if I can't look "overbearingly seductive" (cit) while I do.
>>
>>36368526
... men this is the matter with time wizards. Are you sure you are in the right timeline? Because none of our diviners foretold an apocalypse for the rest of the year.
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>>36368526
Actually my cult managed to have a plan to prevent just that from happening!
>>
>>36368526
Excuse the weirdness of my language, for I am using a magical communication device, called a "smart phone" to communicate with you from the future.
>>
>>36368554
Doesn't look very intelligent.
Kind of stupid looking to be perfectly honest.
>>
>>36368563
Ja, I mean, golem are far greater then that thing is and even they do not have any intelligence to speak of. Begone with you trinkets, time wizard.
>>
>>36368554
I'd like to ask you not to bring items back and forth that may disrupt the timeline in someway.
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>>36368553
>>36368546
Well, perhaps bringing the matter to your attention has already alterred the timeline enough to prevent it from happening.

Besides I would hardly call that apocalyptic. Just because you pyromancers and whatnot cant fast complex spells because the imaginary components scare you, doesn't mean these thongs mean the end of the world!
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>>36368529
In accordance with the Guild Charter, three things are forbidden at a Mage Guild Meeting: Hashtags, druid acceptance and lollygagging.
I believe it is time that you left.
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>>36368605
Nah, we just have timewizards and planarshifters in the cult.
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>>36368605
Shush. We got a Sliver invasion last meeting and I managed to deal with it using but one spell, so do not dare to underestimate my magical prowess, thank you. Seriously, what is up with time wizards, diviner and so on that make into them enormous cunts?
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>>36368619
I'm just here for the free food, you don't have to get your little panties in a bunch. I'll be out of your little clubhouse and back to #actuallysolvingproblems before you know it.
>>
>>36368636
Technically speaking, I'm a diviner too.
Well, I can divination or whatever using fire.
>>
>>36368656
You are a bit of a cunt, in fact, and I will never understand why that witch had-
Whelp, sorry, I realized should not speak about it.
>>
>>36368563
>>36368576
>>36368587
Actually its a pretty intelligent artifact. In theory it skips ahead of time and tells you what I meant to say, before I actually have to say it.
It's just that I still haven't perfected the timeline selection arcanorythm, wich leads to the occasional jumbling up of my words.
>>
>>36368636
It's just that most of them can't handle their beer well and get their panties in a bunch. You should come down to the local cult meeting place. You'd meet timewizards so loose and social you wouldn't believe it!
>>
By the way, does anyone know the whereabouts of Soros? I found his Guild Admission Certificate in an invisible, invincible, magically locked chest made of solid Hellfire in the Plane of Eternal Paperwork. Seems there have been some problems determining who is the eldest wizard in the council, and he has most arrogantly been referring to himself as said wizard. If anyone should be interested in learning his real age, I will gladly break the Binding enchantments on the file and let it be known.
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>>36368686
I seem to have forgotten my nametag.
>>
What do you people have against 'E'?
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>>36368701
I have no qualms with the letter E. It is a useful letter that servers it's purpose without looking stupid.
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>>36368672
Well you're not exactly the most pleasant person to hang around with either.
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>>36368686
This surprises me not. And I truly got the feeling we should forget everything about the chest and go on with our business, unless we desire to see our lifespan considerably shortened when he find out.
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>>36368720
At least I do nothing to hide the fact. I am proud to be an absolute cunt.
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>>36368686
I would very much like to know how old he is. It will be good to have someone to talk to about stuff that happened before the current ruling pantheon of gods.
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>>36368724
I simply grow tired of hearing him boast of his supreme age and magical capability. And there is nothing in the Guild Charter to suggest that looking through other members Admission Certificates should be illegal. I wrote it, so I know.
I might mention how it says in your Certificate that you were ''expelled from Warriors College as a result of unmitigated lewd behavior with the other female students'' before applying here.
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>>36368745
Give me a minute, and I'll have it open.
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>>36368751
Boasting? You've never seen what that guy is capable of, I understand.
>>36368751
>I might mention how it says in your Certificate that you were ''expelled from Warriors College as a result of unmitigated lewd behavior with the other female students'' before applying here.
-cough- ehm... I don't really know what you are talking, ehm, about, I mean, I've never, look, it is not my fault if the Fighters are a bunch of puritan pricks!
>>
>>36368778
I mean, I feel a little pride when talking about my age. It's quite a feat if I do say so myself. But I don't think I've ever been arrogant because of my age.
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>>36368778
It also says you tried to molest a Princess of Macedon who was training there.
Which is actually rather ballsy because I'm pretty sure she rides a big ass wyvern and has a powerful poleaxe.
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>>36368790
It is not quite arrogance and more about acknowledging the fact he is very fucking old.
>>36368815
This is slander, I 've never- wait, what do you mean with "tried", I got her chained to my bed in, like, two or three minutes!
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>>36368778
I HAVE, in fact, seen it, and I was not impressed. The man is a diviner. A damn good one, but a pompous buffoon nonetheless. Not exactly the most destructive school of magic, Divination, and any rudimentary knowledge he has of destructive magic wouldn't impress a pyromancers apprentice.
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>>36368853
Uh, were you here during the attack on the guild?
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>>36368828
And then it says you were than chased out by her elder brother and her younger sister.
And the Wyvern.
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>>36368828
And how do you know? I believe there's a reason his admission is hidden behind more wards than a paladins virginity.
>>
>>36368853
He took out Fryia in one round, not to mention he fucking changed the outcome of the battle during the Jhesca Drow Party, and wiped the floor with ashburn's ass off screen last meeting.
Sure he is a prick but not the prick I'd like to fight against.
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>>36368859
I was. What of it.
>>
>>36366616
Master, that is entirely my fault. A minor miscalculation on part of my acol...apprentices, may they rest in peace (doubtful as that is), resulted in a portal to the Maw of the Thirsting One opening under the shipping warehouse. The armour can be, of course, retrieved, but I face a logistical conundrum. Do we have spare apprentices?
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>>36368876
When were you when I stated he is a prick? And a paranoid one at that.
>>36368873
Look, I was nowhere as powerful as I am as of today. I am sure I could violate each one of them. even the wyvern, just give me the chance to do so and I show you it is better not to fuck with me- well, unless I want to, of course.
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>>36368912
"Even" the wyvern? You make it sound like a wyvern is hard to beat.
>>
>>36368933
Don't underestimate a Wyvern being used by royalty, they are often picked precisely for being some of the toughest scalies imaginable, not to mention their natural resistance towards magic, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.
>>
>>36368933
Who was talking about beating?
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>>36368955
I would seeing as how I helped quell a massive overpopulation of wyverns a long time ago.
>>
Greetings brothers, sisters and amorphous blobmonsters from the elemental Plane of Goo.

I am currently on the lookout for a trickster demon imposing as me. He is mad because i beat him in a fair game of poker and tries to smudge my good reputation by going around, imposing as me, and behaving all smug and superior, and generally being a dick.
He will look and sound like me, but, like all trickster demons, have this whole imperfect illusion thing going on.

wich, by the way, is a really good way to detect, for example, a bluff during a game of poker.

I feel like i've gotten pretty close to him now, has anyone happened to meet, well, me but with a little more weirdness?
>>
>>36368986
Oh yes, bards speak highly of the time Brave Ser Lurco defeated the cursed Wyverns by spamming lightning bolt over and over again.
>>
>>36368912
>>36368745
This is tiring, so let me just get it over with.
Soros, Head of Divination was admitted to the college by Clerkomancer Julius exactly.. 428 years ago, at which point he claimed to be 31. That makes him the.. 66th oldest member of the guild.
He failed his first three Divination exams, which is to mean he failed to divine the answers to the test before the exam itself.
He was made the Head of his department only 80 years after his graduation, which seems to be some sort of record. This may be because of no other non-apprentice Diviners were present in the guild at the time.
All in all, he may be good, but his age and prowess is largely exagerrated.

>>36368879
And how much of this did you actually SEE? Because it seems to me the man is simply very good at talking about all the amazing things he has done. And come on, Fryia was second-grade and you know it.
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>>36369005
I did not have the honor of songs. That belonged to the brave warrior Jesun. With his blade he clove a hundred wyvern and slayed the evil dragon priestess who orchestrated the whole thing.
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>>36369023
Wouldn't she be wyvern priestess?
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>>36368955
You know what, I've always felt like the massive amount of lewdness here at the guild was a side effect of Jhesca fooling around, yet now that both the drow and Fryia are gone it seems the issue is a bit more concrete of what I thought...
>>36369019
Fryia, with that Cloak on, was the fuckingest witch of this guild, bureaumancer. I saw her wiping out an entire nation worth of people before her evil-to neutral alignment shift. Go ask Noel.
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>>36369019
So that would mean he's... 459!?!? And you were all saying he was old. He's still a fresh wipper-snapper in my books then!

>>36369036
I never cared much for details. Neither did the common folk, as they didn't cared what she was just that she was killed.
>>
>>36369037
You obviously don't know the woman. I haven't seen her wear clothes since she was 16.
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>>36369048
My point exactly.
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>>36369051
First of all, do not talk ill about the absents. It is fucking easy to laugh at their back, but what would you do if they where both here? You know shit about fighting.
Second, Obviously she used to wear nothing mundane, but the Cloak of black feathers is an artifact, not a common piece of dressing. She never took it off before leaving it to Noel.
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>>36369078
Its actually quite comfortable.
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>>36369095
Fuck you, I longed after the damned thing for years. But I am surprised you spent no words against Tedias while he is busy talking ill about Fryia.
>>
>>36369103
Don't worry, I'll make him pay later.
>>
>>36369109
You know what, this careful, long-game playing aspect of you has always puzzled me, I honestly thought all pyromancers and sorcerers were just the "cast at you screaming for the slight offense" type of people.
>>
>>36369078
Oh spare me. Firstly, death is merely a stagger in our line of work. She'll be back before the end of the week.
Secondly, anyone trying to challenge me would face a mountain of paperwork vast enough to drown a tarrasque in ink alone.
Finally, since you obviously haven't been keeping up: Fryia hated Noel upon finding out she used to be a sorceror. I think YOU giving away her things is rather tasteless, to be honest.
>>
>>36368675
>timeline selection arcanorythm
I can help with that, wednesdogg. See, arcanorythms need very careful attunement in relation to their runetimes, skip a beat and the whole thing goes sideways. Whatcha wanna do is just mix in a second arcanorythm with a dope bass leyline, to keep it steady. Next time it goes foul on, just scratch a bit and it'll line right back up.

Also, can you get me into that timeline, it sounds chill as fuck.
>>
>>36369124
So you missed all of their love story, the fact that Jhesca took over her mind only to be chased away by noel, Fryia' guilt for posing a danger to the guild letting jhesca try a second time and succeed at running away with fryia's body?
Woah, try keeping up, it is all in the archive, you know?
>>
Ok. Hello everyone.
First, let me just say that you should never meld with a thousand year old oak tree if you are not prepared for the time lag, contrary to previous beliefs which I can now disprove. They do not experience time like we do.

Secondly, I'd like to know who in the infinite spoke of planes has bricked my laboratory shut? It was locked with spells and warning signs and a fleshcrafted monstrosity for gods sake!
If that wasn't enough, when I finally got inside I discovered that someone stole my protein vats to make oatmeal in the kitchens, my alchemical solutions had fizzled out of existence years ago, and "someone" has been smoking my herb garden... There was nothing smokeable in there!
I have since admonished the cooks, made new protein solutions and "manure" slurries with the help of the apprentice chef, and reseeded my garden.
Who did this?
Also, what are we talking about? I had sap in my ears.
>>
>>36369120
I do that too, on occasion, typically when someone confuses me for a boy.
>>
>>36369149
Yeah, again, sorry.
>>
>>36369124
>>36369139
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36142315
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36163839
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36248266
Here, 3 topics worth of spellcastin'an'shit, but since you are used to work with paperwork you will sort it out just fine.
>>
Oh, there it is, nevermind.
>>
>>36369169
Only because you found out what a Elizabeth's Greater Combustion was first hand.
>>
>>36369149
Ja, I've seen it. Heard the janitors complaining about how much ashes you leave behind you every time.
>>36369187
And coming to think about it those threads show me being a fucking hero twice. Men I'm so proud of myself.
Yet I have to go, class starting. Teaching was never my forte but you know, Eldricth Knights are rare and Eldricth Knights wanting to waste their time teaching are even rarer.
>>
When was the next wizard's guild meeting? I think I dropped a post on the way through.
>>
>>36369144
Oh, I did notice that. Sorry that I don't know the culprit but if it's any help there was some magical cows that were eating all the plants that I removed
>>
>>36369255
Did these "cows" happen to have, uh.. chitinous plating on them?
If so I think I know what they ate.
>>
>>36369224
No, I am truly sorry that I offended you. I have gained wisdom instead of madness from my age.
>>
"Hello there magical people, I'm from the fighters guild, I've got the rare ingredients you hired us to collect."

"You know, the the dragon organs, troll hearts and cyclops eyes. Now where do you want them?"
>>
>>36369272
No, and the cows seemed able to eat all forms of vegetation.
>>
>>36369298
Damn it all!
Oh well, no matter.
I shall reconstruct my lab swiftly, I just need to repair the etheric wombs and such.(Don't ask)
>>
>>36369292
Got any Ifrit ashes in there?
>>
>>36369292
I managed to get a good grasp of the place, just set them in the room down the left hallway, third door on the right.
>>36369334
Well, they seemed really slow so they didn't seem to eat too much before I moved them out.
>>
>>36369292
Do you have any dragon dung? Or slime cultures?

>>36369356
I'll make new cows! Better cows! With psychotropic milk! And photosynthesis!
>>
>>36369345
"Of course, what do you think I am some half wit barbarian?"

>>36369371
"And yes, though it was disgusting and I now hate dragons even more I got some of those."

>>36369356
"Thank you sir"
>>
>>36369385
Excellent.
>>
>>36369385
No, thank you. Now how much gold are you expecting?
>>
>>36369408
"Well, the size of the order and due to the fact we lost some rookies to a water elemental, it was their first job talk about sink or swim, means it adds up to 3000 gold, I will also throw in these enchanted shoes we found, no idea what they do."
>>
>>36369120
There's actually a good reason for that. Its a side effect of making a pact with Ifrit, you see, that oriental mage that was calling me a whore was right about one thing. I did make a pact with a djinn as oppose to a devil. And Ifrits are very cunning.
>>
>>36369385
Yeah, but you know.. Those adventurers give it that extra push I need for experiments.

On that topic, anyone need an instant growth solution? You pour it on a plant and watch the magic work.
>>
>>36369452
Then I'll pay you 5,000 gold, from my own pocket. You keep up the good work kid and live your life to the fullest.
>>
>>36369499
"Kid? Mate I'm about 33 now, thanks for the gold though, now I'm sure I came in through this hallway.."

*Walks off down a random corridor
>>
Heh, silly child. Course I guess for most people kids are 15 years old or younger.
>>
>>36369527
Uhh, may want to detour through that hallway to the right.
>>
>>36369562
Don't worry, I set up magical suggestions that lead to the telportation room.
>>
>>36369224
>Elizabeth's Greater Combustion
*cough* *cough* the least you coulda done is give me a little heads up about that one! You're lucky I have a backup plan for when my glasses melt.

A-anyway, apprentice reporting for class as scheduled.
>>
>>36369562
Goes left, the sound of battle starts up and then Aleiv runs back and takes the right corridor as an Ogre shooting lasers from it's eyes lumbers after him.

"THANK YOU"
>>
Also, for future reference, stop asking my students to light your cigarette, pipes, and candles, bring your own damn matches.
>>
>>36369595
Pfah! Why shouldn't they get some practice? It builds character as well!
>>
>>36369624
My students have better things to do than to light up someone's pipe to smoke some discount pipeweed!
>>
>>36369631
I've yet to see them do something more useful outside of a classroom.
And I'll have you know this is the best pipeweed in the material plane and many others.
>>
>>36369682
You're a biomancer, have you ever left your classroom before this? Because the few I've run across keep holed up in their labs so much they put isolationist hermits to shame.
>>
Salutations, wizards and warlocks of this guild. I pray I did not miss any important activity? Also, is that particular glyph still forbid? It is a difficulty to work around.
>>
>>36369718
Ofcourse I have!
The fact that I can't quite remember the last time is immaterial..
>>
If I may, kind sirs. Making our warriors go forth on a mission of little import may buy us an abundant amount of days for which to summon up an au courant batch of magic armor.
>>
>>36369727
Well we got that new shipment of monster parts. Not much else.
>>
>>36369746
Good, good. It looks as though a biomancy spat is ongoing.
>>
>>36369739
Like that's going to work, they know better than to fall for that old trick.
>>
>>36369768
Judging by your words, is it alright to say that that particular glyph is not forbid? This is growing ridiculous.
>>
>>36369759
Now now, hardly a spat, I'm the first to admit the rather hermit like proclivities of my profession.. But I am a bit miffed about the razing of my lab.
On that note, I just need to tear down a bricked closet and I'm done fixing it!
>>
>>36369798
Alright, I think I can safely assume "e" is allowed to be used, then.

Who exactly burnt down your lab?
>>
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>>36369783
What the old archmagus don't see won't hurt him...probably.

>>36369768
Is there anything that'd make the warriors jump at the chance to rush out and kill? Dragon, princess trapped in a faraway castle, threat of goblins?
>>
>>36369822
Apologies, that's me.
>>
>>36369822
Well, what kind of warriors are we looking at here? Those fighting for their gods will leap at the first scent of daemonspawn or cults, those fighting for country will be eager to fight goblins, orcs, and general nuisances to the populace.
Those fighting for glory will want a flashy, big event - a horde of opposing warriors, a big dragon, something that gains them fame.
Those fighting for themselves will go wherever is most profitable with least risk - likely a gnomish enclave or a wurm's tunnels.
>>
>>36369822
>>36369826
Good morning Sam, gave any thought to that offer of apprenticeship I offered you awhile ago?
>>
>>36369846
Yeah. I thought about it for a while, and eventually I realized something.

All things considered, I'm really not that much of a sorceress yet. I mean I know a few spells, I know OF a lot of other spells, but just knowledge isn't going to be enough to help when whatever super bad evil thingy finally comes 'round. I need to be able to do something, not just think.

I do have one condition though - please stop bobby-trapping your office like that. I'm lucky to have escaped with only losing my glasses, really...
>>
>>36369896
I'll make sure to program them to view you as an honored guest so it won't happen again. Don't touch Valflame regardless though.
Then again, you tripping up on some of the traps would explain why I found you in such badly burned, barely there clothes that one time.
>>
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>>36369938
C-can we...you know, not bring that up in public? Please?

Understood about the big book of really big fireball stuff. No touchy.

>>36369844
So...how about a demon-blessed dragon commanding a horde of gnomes?

...Or, since this appears to have been a bunch of armor, more than any one burglar could make off with, wait until he tries to fence it and steal it back then?
>>
>>36369990
I won't talk about if you promise to go with me on a shopping trip to get you some new clothes to celebrate you becoming my apprentice.
>>
>>36369631
You think you have it hard? My apprentices are asked to do the tax returns of every single mage in this Guild on a daily basis. At least your little arsonists only have to snap their fingers.
>>
>>36370040
Hey now, my students are not arsonists.
Most of them anyway.
>>
>>36370051
One or two, maybe.
And the pthers enjoy setting them on fire.
>>
>>36370040
Don't they have magic to help with all that? And barring actual magic, really good calculators?

>>36370020
I want some form of veto power on clothes from the red-light district, but fine.
>>
>>36370040
So, have you finally managed to keep up with everything that happened recently while I wasn't here?
>>36370119
Come shopping with me then!
>>
>>36370119
Oh relax, I'll make sure we get something appropriate for public wear.
No pants though Sam, that's pretty much one of MY conditions.
>>
>>36369631
If your students aren't arsonists, my students aren't acne-riddled nerds with a superiority complex.
Speaking of students, do you know what happened to the stack of personal files I was keeping in my office? An orphanage was burned down in the local village, and their guard captain asked me to bring out the files I had on your most.. questionable students. Now it seems to have been reduced to smouldering ashes, which really isn't much use as a legal document.
>>
>>36370119
It's about principle, not practicality, young lady. If you studied bureaumancy, you would know.
>>
>>36370040
Speaking of tax returns, I've got something of a... backlog, and I don't know the proper tax codes for "stuck in a symbiotic melding with an oak tree"
Would you be willing to help me out for a part of the crop from my more "private" pipe "tobacco" garden?
>>
Dr.Stabby walks in with his hands in his pockets, whistling nonchalantly.
>>
>>36370154
Well don't look at me, I have nothing to do with it. Besides, shouldn't you have had some sort of security measure in place to keep people away from your office. I did it with my office as Sam and her incinerated jeans can attest.
>>
>>36370189
And the chaosmonger is back. Pretend all you like that you've done nothing wrong, but Jheska's escape, as well as her attack in the first place, were all a result of your inability to repress your sexual desires.
>>
>>36370215
I sense hostility,
>>
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>>36370215
....I'm sorry what?
>>
>>36370189
Oh great, what did you do THIS time?

>>36370221
Gee, really? I never would have guessed.
>>
>>36370221
Naturally. Do you remember how you nearly died?
Who do you think was responsible for that?
>>36370230
You couldn't keep it in your pants, so you violated both Guild statutes and criminal law by removing her from confinement in the hope that she would have sex with you.
>>
>>36370232
Don't antagonize him Sam, I rather not lose an apprentice right after gaining one.
Though knowing him he might just turn that sweater of yours into scraps of cloth and just call it a day.
>>
>>36370232
I got you pants

>>36370248
It worked didn't it?
>>
>>36370293
Not really, actually.
I do appreciate you talking long enough for the aetheric handcuffs to activate, though.

Now, seeing as you are not a member of this guild, you will have to answer to the Council directly for your incredibly long list of crimes.
>>
>>36370293
>it worked
freeing a sworn enemy of this guild so that her soul could take over one of the strongest spellcasters around and go on doing all of jack shit inside her body? Yeah, fuck you, it worked.
>>
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>>36370259
S-sorry...I guess I'm just a bit on edge after...y'know, all the stuff recently.

Not exactly a good time to take an apprenticeship, but then again it seems there never really IS a good time.

So...were you gonna teach me anything today? I don't know how much pure fire magic I'll be able to do, since pyrokinesis is a secondary school of geomancy.
>>
>>36370335
Want to learn something from me then?
>>
>>36370310
Mhmm. Neat.
>>
>>36370335
I've seen good results from using geomantic energy siphoned from the local leylines and recycled through a personal etheric matrix to produce massive gouts of fire aspected mana.
Granted, it's kind of advanced..
>>
>>36370310
Welp! No sense wasting any more time! TAKE ME OH LAWMAGUS! I AM READY TO FACE THE PUNISHMENT FOR MY CRIMES!
>>
>>36370353
You know, I got this feeling, kinda like the urge to see your body dismembered and all of your limbs ripped apart, impaled on spears, said spears fired away with a bolt thrower in random directions, and THEN, killed. So be thankful, for the actual presence of Anfarthon is saving your ass this time.
>>
>>36370353
>Incantation of Transference
I can trust that the esteemed Council will handle the matter properly.
Now then, where were we?

>>36370335
Lavamancy is a very good middle ground - using geomantic magic to produce fire-based effects
>>
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>>36370345
That mostly depends on what you're wanting to teach. I won't discriminate and all, but I like to know what I'm getting myself into before it's too late to jump out.

>>36370356
Getting the amount and color of mana I need is the easy part. Calling fire from the aether instead of from Gaea below is where I run into...problems.
>>
>>36370293
Just shut up Stabby.
>>36370335
I'll teach you the very first thing my teachers taught me. Fire magic is considered by many to be the very first magic that humanity ever learned and used, hence one of Pyromancy's alternative names is the Ur-School of Magic, or the First Magic. The first spell Ashburn and later Elizabeth taught me was to use fire divination.
Yes, the first thing they taught you is how to look into the future with fire, not a fireball, shocking I know.
>>
>>36370382
Dr.Stabby is still here.
>>
>>36370391
Oh pish posh, there is no real practical difference in the results. A pissed off spirit or two at most if you drain the land dry.
>>
>>36370391
Basics of the spellweaving and spell-augmented combat, I guess, since none else here has even a bit of knowledge about this. Talking about mana I'm mostly in black, but I guess I got my fair share both of blue and red.
>>
>>36370391
I would pay little heed to Marus' remarks on the matter, seeing as the school of Biomancy has minimal regard for nature and what is natural.
For my part, sometimes a locus or channeler is useful in focusing mana into a specific spell.
Once you have mastered the use of the locus, the spell will be more familiar to you and you can begin to do it regularly.
>>
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>>36370419
Pfah, those can be overlooked with the most basic of preparation.
< Case in point.

>>36370437
I have nothing but the highest regard for nature and the natural world! That is not to say that it cannot be IMPROVED UPON!
>>
>>36370459
...Is that a turd Hydra?
>>
>>36370459
I recently put an end to the rampant invasion of slivers here at the guild with a single Damnation, biomancer. I laugh at your monsters, for a single weave of my hands is enough to destroy them.
tl;dr dies to removal.
>>
>>36370478
Well it's a hydra alright, but it's using its mage-given adaptive camouflage plating!
>>
>>36370419
I don't suppose it can hurt. Like I said, I won't discriminate.
...I'll probably need some kind of weapon though, unless I'm supposed to punch dragons with my bare hands. Which would be cool, but seems terribly inefficient.

>>36370399
Okay...is there anything I should be looking to find, or just looking to look?
>>
>>36370486
Fool! That's what the ablative magical shielding and the regeneration core is for!
>>
>>36370491
Try to look for figures among the dancing flames Sam.
>>
>>36370491
Here you are. Polearms are my signature weapons, but feel free to choose your own. Sword, axe, dao, zweihander, guisarme, let me know your pick and then we are ready. First lesson, point AWAY from you. Second, stop casting trough your hands! The weapon is a part of your body, channel your hate trough his blade!
>>
"Hey, has anyone seen a three lately? not one specific three, just any three at all?"
>>
>>36370507
That simply requires a bit of countermagic, usually on my part.
>>36370491
A spear is a fine weapon to have. It acts both as staff for magical projection, and as a defense with reach that can fend off most lower level threats.
>>
>>36370541
Yes, well, one can't win every battle with a single chimera.
>>
>>36370558
Have you considered moving away from uncontrolled, lawless green magic and towards structured, proactive white mana?
I recommend it.
>>
>>36370532
>>36370541
Okay, Lemme just...oof. Okay, hang on, I s-ow!

...okay, polearm is NOT for me. I'll look into something a bit shorter. I'll work on it later.

>>36370523
Okay, I guess this is as good as I'm gonna get.

...I know it's inconvenient but I'm still new at this. C-can I have some serious time here?
>>
>>36370598
Have you though about using a good knife?
>>
>>36370598
Of course.
>>36370608
Shut up Stabby.
>>
>>36370598
I'd recommend the mace, but that takes a good deal of upper body strength.
The shortsword is a simple, effective option - I favor the khopesh in such matters, but then I'm an old fashioned person.
>>
I'm here with the coffee everyone
>>
>>36370634
Timely as always. I got an apprentice.
>>
>>36370616
Hey, a knife is a good weapons for a mage. It's easy to learn.
>>
>>36370634
Ah, wonderful. I am sure the other members will enjoy it.
>>
>>36370634
Dr.Stabby smiles now that one of the main reasons he is still here has come around.
>>
Oh for the love of- Why do you people feel the need to start the meeting in the extremely early morning? You know some of us actually like to sleep.
>>
>>36370582
Well I dabble in every sort, one can't achieve true mastery with just one aspect.
For example I have learned pyromancy and terraforma for glassblowing purposes.
The white is absolutely amazing for stasis fields when combined with blue.
And there is no better when constructing etheric prisms! Top notch!

>>36370634
Thank you young man. That is very kind of you.
>>
>>36370634
I also suggest you do not give any to "Dr." Stabby.

It keeps drawing that nuisance back here.
>>
>>36370616
.........!
*A plume of magma erupts into the air a good 15 feet tall before receding into the ground*
...ohshit. ohshitshitshitshitshit.
>>
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>>36370658
Okay i've had my coffee, I'm ready to go to where ever you wanted to send me.
>>
>>36370185
*Sigh* Sign here, please.

captcha: Note iou
>>
>>36370644
Nice. Who is it?
>>36370671
You have to ask politely to get some Stabby
>>36370658
Oh hey there Dishonered One
>>
>>36370693
I suppose this is a bad time to make jokes about "this never happened before"?
>>
>>36370693
Fuck. Stay behind me!
Anyone has some water magic at hand?
>>
>>36370701
Excellent. Now that the incantation has been properly prepared, we can begin the transference.
>>36370693
Scheisse!
Well, if I did not make it said clearly before, Lavamancy seems like a good profession for you!
>>
>>36370719
Mortimer my 3rd favorite person in the building, may I please have some oh that heavenly ambrosia that you have labored so hard for?
>>
>>36370693
Crap.
>>
>>36370716
Thank you Tedias, I greatly appreciate it and I took the liberty of planting the payment in your windowsill.

>>36370722
Here! There's water in these cacti!
>>
>>36370719
Samantha, you know her, the girl I occasionally complain about wearing pants in class?
>>
>>36370730
Just an idle question, who are the first and second ones?
>>36370737
... is this some kind of biomancer joke?
>>
>>36370730
Here. Wait, who are your first to favorite beings in the building?
>>36370743
Now I rember her. She's the one shooting magma into the air right now isn't she?
>>
>>36370751
>>36370762
Oh just some of the boys from the guild, No need to worry about them. probably. Coffee please.
>>
>>36370743
I still will never understand what is your problem with letting the girl wear pants. Honestly, her legs aren't very attractive, so I would rather not see them.
>>
>>36370772
Here
>>
>>36370775
you don't even have legs, lupa, you are no good at judging those things
>>
>>36370721
...probably. yes. Very much not a good time.

>>36370722
Fire's out, but...yeah.

>>36370724
I...kinda figured.

To the rest of you who remember the Crow fryia had - is it always the same size? Like, how sure are we that it doesn't get any bigger? ...like, a lot bigger?
>>
>>36370751
No? There's actually water in them, you just have to squeeze them.
They're spiky but you have gauntlets and they hold a deceptive amount of water under a lot of pressure.
>>
>>36370790
Wait what? What happened to her crow, exactly?
>>36370785
Last I checked, she did indeed have legs...
>>
>>36366616
Straightforward. Bring into play thaumaturgists of diplomancy to calm the warriors, and a roving band of wizards to bring that armour back.

Why do so many plans in this group clasp complication?
>>
>>36370785
EXCUSE ME!? I'll have you know I have absolutely glorious legs, you blind incontinent asshole!
>>
>>36370790
What are you talking about, and what does it have to do with Fryia?
>>
>>36370790
>To the rest of you who remember the Crow fryia had - is it always the same size? Like, how sure are we that it doesn't get any bigger? ...like, a lot bigger
I got the feeling I won't like the answer to your question.
>>36370813
yeah, but are those legs yours, of grafted?
>>
>>36370813
Damn fine legs. Do they go all the way up?
>>
>>36370812
You are allowed to use the "E" glyph, Antruthius has been rather odd about the matter.
>>36370813
Please try to refrain from unwarranted insults, Lupa.
>>
>>36370833
Damnit Stabby!
>>
>>36370827
Well, they certainly are mine now, after the last ones started to get too old to properly maintain.

>>36370833
You can bet your ass they do.

>>36370841
I'll insult whoever I want, whenever I want!
>>
>>36370847
This is why you don't give the antagonists Coffee, Mortimer.
>>
>>36370812
Cobb, Magma. Fix it.
>>
>>36370847
What?

>>36370858
Oi, you ready to go or what?
>>
>>36370775
I just think its improper that's all. Especially denim. Ick.
>>36370790
Don't worry, Cobb will fix it.
>>
>>36370841
It is not of my habits to rock any boats.

...okay, just a smidgin.
>>
>>36370775
I was wearing shorts even! They cut off above the knee and everything!

>>36370811
>>36370822
Big, like REAAAAAAAAAAALLY big black bird attacking the guild hall. I'm no ornithologist but I'm pretty sure it looked a lot like a crow.

...which made so sense because I saw Noel and Friya fighting alongside each other against the bird and the...

I...I'd rather not talk about it.
>>
>>36370875
What ever happened to good old solid warded robes?
Also what's denim?
>>
>>36370869
I have the ritual prepared, simply waiting on you to enter the ring and be transferred.
I cannot go, of course, since I have been Dishonored. But you do not need me to chaperone you, do you?
>>36370883
Consider who you are talking to, were it not allowed I am not sure I would even be capable of using the glyph.
>>
>>36370858
Do I tell you how to do your job Dishonered One?
>>
>>36370886
And why did no one tell me this was happening?!

I shall return shortly, once the matter is solved.
>>
>>36370886
But wait, Fryia is currently under Jhesca's control, so in no w-
OH goddammit that fucking drow!
>>
>>36370859
Ah, music to my... auditory... pits.

Stand back, this may hiss hot.

>Elemental Encasement: Drown
>>
>>36370893
Its the material Sam's pants were made out of, don't know where she gets it from.
>>
>>36370898
Uhhh how about no. Just use that Incantation of Transference crap. I'll work this time, I promise.
>>
>>36370875
I don't know, the denim does show her butt off pretty well, while making sure that her bad legs don't distract from them.

>>36370886
Sweetie, until you get those legs in proper shape, and either shave often or remove the hair completely, I would suggest sticking with the longer pants that will show off your butt.
>>
>>36370916
She back again? Fuck me
>>
>>36370940
Careful son, she's into some real fucked up shit.
>>
>>36370940
At once!
- wait, you did not mean literally, did you? sorry.
>>
>>36370916
That still doesn't explain why Noel and Fryia were *together* in fighting *against* the crow.

And, I don't even know how accurate this shit is, or how mutable the visions are. I'm just an apprentice, I'm no good at this shit!

>>36370928
Go choke on a dick. Wait, fleshwarper. Grow a dick and choke on that.
>>
>>36370927
This IS the "Incantation of Transference crap". Do you think I cast the spell simply for my own amusement?
>>36370940
And I wonder who it was who allowed her to do this in the first place...
>>
>>36370953
You don't think I don't know that? I was the one sent to clean out her room when she died! It was so, what was it that she was always saying, oh, lewd!
>>
>>36370928
Lupa your standards and sense of aesthetics are ludicrously high, also stop staring at my apprentice's ass.
>>
>>36370958
It's fine Cromina
>>36370965
Shut it Dishonered One
>>
*Puts a portable hole into a bag of holding*
>>
>>36370962
Now now, no need to be testy, I'm just giving you some advice. For free even. I usually charge an arm and a leg for that. And I do mean that literally.

>>36370968
Well, I didn't say it was perfect. But it is her best feature, I have to say. yours is a lot harder to pin down, though... Because most of your features are pretty mundane.
>>
>>36370965
Last time you literally just said Incantation of Transference for it to work.
>>
>>36370968
Should I stop too? Just let me know.
>>36370962
Visions, aight? Fire divination is not the most reliable foretelling magic, but nonetheless. Any other thing you saw?
>>
>>36370962
This is disconcerting.
>>
So, Jheskas not back then? Oh thank which ever God/goddess cares for thanks right now
>>
>>36371022
You're welcome.
>>
>>36371005
Should apprentices not show more respect for their elders?
...Wait... Flesh warper? Was that what put that monstrosity on guard outside my lab?
>>
>>36370982
Mortimer, your service is appreciated. But this is a man who has killed multiple people himself, engaged in more criminal acts than you can count, and is personally responsible for the ongoing calamity with Jheska, which nearly fractured that guild and already cost hundreds of lives.
So no, I respectfully will not "Shut it."

>>36370999
The spell you refer to has only just finished preparing. That circle there? That is where it culminates. Connecting to the Empyrean Realm does not happen instantly.
>>
>>36371002
Yes, you should stop staring at her ass too.
>>36370998
ExCUSE ME?
>>
>>36371047
>>36370998
This can't possible end well.
>>
>>36370535
get back in the dungeon, Bob.
>>
>>36371002
>>36371005
Well it was clearly the guild hall, so the black bird is among the "bad guys" and Fryia and Noel are on the "good guys" side as best I could tell. I...couldn't see anything else clear enough though. S-sorry.

...part of me wants to just run and hide and not have to deal with this...but...I already said my piece on martyr complexes, right? I...I just need some time to get my thoughts back in order. And anything anyone has that would help with that is appreciated.

>>36370998
do you REALLY want to test me right now?
>>
>>36371039
Nope, that wasn't me. Probably one of my apprentices though, since they apparently didn't charge you. I'm going to have to ask for the creature back. Or you could pay me.

>>36371047
You heard me. You aren't very attractive. At all. And your skimpy clothes do not help you in any way.
>>
>>36371039
I suppose I should give some form of punishment towards Sam for being disrespectful to a superior.
But then again she's being disrespectful to Lupa so...
>>
>>36371042
Dr.Stabby raises an incredulous eyebrow
>>
>>36371085
...Just checking, is this apprentice threatening me?
>>
>>36371085
I can offer a Dais of Clarity, it has been sitting in my room unused for weeks now. Simply sit on it when meditating, and it shall help to focus your mind and relieve unnecessary concerns.
>>
>>36371082
It's not tax evasion! It's simple mathemagics!
>>
>>36371100
Oh you are asking for it Fleshwarper
>>
>>36371086
Pay? For something keeping me from my lab? I don't think so.
I am afraid the creature is currently a bubbling mass of protein slurry though.
>>
>>36371042
I know Dishonored One, but I have delt with this man for 25 years.
>>
>>36370737
I took the liberty of changing your real estate status in your personal file to 'rooted'.
>>
>>36371136
Marvelous!
I would never have thought of that.
>>
>>36371098
Little I can say will convince you, it is only of any desire to repent and atone for your crimes that can lead you there. If you do not, I will not force you.
>>36371130
>>36371100
>>36371085
I recommend everyone here try to calm down, we can resolve any disputes with a civil discussion. There is no need for conflict...
>>
You know, I would have never thought I'd been the one to to say that but could please EVERYONE stop with the infighting, petty offenses, sexually-charged insults and assorted idiocy? Dear gods, this guild has been on the brink of disaster twice in the last month and the only thing you are able to do is fighting over petty insults! I've seen more discipline in an army of goblin, and I'm talking with you,>>36371130, >>36371100 and even >>36371109
>>
OK so I got a real easy solution here:

Hear me out other magic users, I have a friend, his name is Buffcat. He can handle this issue, simply send me one wizard token from each of you and ill teleport him to the bandits lair, and he will beat the crap out of them. Return the goods theft-ed, and he works for catnip! It is a steal I tell you!
>>
>>36371085
Don't listen to her, it's not about exploiting your best ASSests, any person can do that. It's about Charisma. That innate ability to draw people to you and have them under your thrall. and judging from the size of your ass I'd say you have a 16 at least.
>>
>>36371100
This is not a threat. This is a serious question, because right now it seems like you're trying to provoke something - and at that point everything goes out the window.

>>36371109
I appreciate the offer, once I burn away all the remote viewing charms that no doubt cover the part I'm supposed to sit on.

No, I don't hold it against you either.

>>36371163
>>36371173
I'M TRYING.
>>
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oh I forgot a picture, so you can tell he means to get the job done, and is capable of it.
>>
>>36371130
What are you going to do about it, No-ass Noel?

>>36371131
well in that case, I will have to ask you to pay at least 100 gold for the material costs of said creature, because I could have simply recycled it if I had it returned. Also, please refrain from doing this again in the future, because if you kill one of my pets, I'm going to be very cross with you.

>>36371163
I'll have you know I am perfectly calm. Noel and Sam are the ones who can't take criticism.

>>36371173
It's not my fault some people can't take some criticism.
>>
>>36371173
I agree, as mentioned >>36371163 there is no need for conflict here. I am not even insisting Stabby to face judgement by any other will but his own.

Sadly, my efforts to maintain discipline here are often wasted. I continue to try, though.
>>
>>36371198
All I'm doing is trying to give some criticism about your appearance and what you can do to improve it.
>>
>>36371202
Yes it is since your are provoking the shit out of them!
>>
>>36371174
Does this Buffcat happen to have a tattoo along his tail that says SentCat #0045 on it?

>>36371202
You wish flesh peddler.
>>
>>36371198
I do not have sexual urges, I should mention. But take any precautions you feel necessary.
>>
Cromina, for once, is right, this isn't the time for us to have bitchfits.
That said, as Master of Sam, I reserve the right to punish her for his disrespect as I see fit, when I see fit. I will deal out an appropriate punishment, I promise you.
>>
>>36371163
That's a load off bullshit.

Dr.Stabby hands back the aetheric handcuffs back to Anfarthon before stepping into the circle.
>>
>>36371117
Bob. Dungeon. Now.
>>
Ok, let's all calm down. Look, I brewed another pot of coffee. I even got these things from the bakery called a donut
>>
>>36371227
That wasn't a request, whelp. It was an order. When a superior tells you to pay up 100 gold to cover for materials that you destroyed, you pay up.

>>36371224
Well maybe they should take better care of themselves. Then I wouldn't need to criticize them.
>>
>>36371241
I am glad to see the issue resolved peacefully.
>>36371243
*bright lights, angelic chorus, Stabby dissipates as he is transported to the Empyrean Realm*

>>36371268
Do try and be more respectful, Lupa. We do not need another conflict here.
>>
>>36371241
whelp, thanks for your kind words. this is what I got after having been stabbed repeatedly for your well being by murderous drow.
>>
>>36371253
I don't want to go back in the dungeon. Its dark and smells like feet. And I don't have any chalk..
>>
>>36371268
Lupa, he's the Head Biomancer. Maybe an idiot, but if anything he's your superior.
>>
>>36371284
I still respect ma'am
>>
>>36371228
Like I said, I don't hold it against you - it's just a natural assumption on my part that someone would have done something like that.

>>36371265
>coffee and donuts
Thank you. Maybe I was just getting cranky from having missed breakfast or something.

>>36371284
Well then, if you're so gripey about things, what's your plan?
I ask this as an honest question, I want to know what you have planned because if nothing else the rest of us can see how we can make it better.
>>
>>36371293
You don't get chalk before you've solved the riddle, Bob. That was the deal.
>>
>>36371198
Did you remember to burn away the ones in your room too?
>>
>>36371301
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That's a funny joke. Everyone knows I'm the unofficial head of the Magical Biology department. The only reason I'm not the actual head is because I don't want to deal with all the paperwork that would distract me from my experiments.
>>
>>36371317
I can understand the assumption, considering this guild...
>>
>>36371331
Speaking of paper work, I flled out the forms that you needed to be filled out ma'am.
>>
>>36371331
If it is not official, it is irrelevant.
Such is the way of law and legality.
>>
>>36371317
Well my plans would include militarize the fuck out of this place, for starters, so probably non of you would even let me finish my first sentence should I try to explain them.
>>
>>36371320
"I NEED CHALK TO WORK OUT THE RIDDLE! FOR THE LOVE OF NUMBERS SOMEONE HELP ME!"
*tries to run away*
>>
>>36371327
Burned, no. Destroyed and rendered useless, yes.

Remember, Geomancy - gives me a few more options when I need to get rid of something.

>>36371350
From what I understand of the law, even some of what is official is irrelevant.

>>36371359
You're right, but until someone cuts you off you might as well keep going.
>>
>>36371359
I am willing to hear any plan that is ostensibly for the benefit of the guild. How well that plan is applied is a matter to be decided afterwards.
>>36371363
*discreetly hands Bob a pack of chalk*
>>
>>36371331
Oh right, the paperwork. Which I am in charge of. Which there is none of, regarding your title as Head of the department. Which makes you, expressly, NOT the Head of the department.
>>
>>36371350
No one cares what you think, Anfarthon. Least of all me. We've been over this several times.

>>36371344
Ah, good work as always then. I like an apprentice that knows how do his work.
>>
>>36371317
Now, as for your punishment Sam, I know Lupa isn't the easiest person to get along with.
At all.
But she is still your superior and as such some respect is necessary, the guild operates on the seniority system, she's older and more experience, ergo you treat her with the respect that goes along with it.
Even if it is hard on the pride to do so.
>>
>>36371385
As >>36371383 mentioned, regardless of whether or not you care, paperwork is paperwork.
>>
Let's stretch these Es out a bit.

E.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

That's better.

Right. What are we arguing about today?
>>
>>36371385
I'm not your apprantice, I am mearly performing my end of the bargain we made
>>
>>36371350
A man after my head.
>>
>>36371377
Just remember to be weary of the ones in the changing area and girls' public bath.
>>
>>36371383
Well, there wouldn't be paper work, this was decided about a dozen centuries back, when we didn't do a lot of paperwork. And even the little that we did didn't survive for this long.

>>36371404
I have seniority as well, since I am the oldest member here at the moment. So you can just deal with it, you failure of a lawmagus.

>>36371412
Still, very good work.
>>
>>36371405
Lupa wishes to impose fines she does not have the authority to impose, Samantha is being punished for apparent disrespect, and Bob is apparently being kept in a Math Dungeon.
>>
Goes back to his cell now that he has some chalk to work with.
>>
>>36371435
Who even put them there?
>>
>>36371363
GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY MONGREL!

>>36371379
And I was just beginning to like you...
>>
>>36371331
Regardless of your superiority complex and the dick measuring you appear to be wanting to inspire(experimenting on yourself before trying it on subjects, I never.)
I do not see why I would have to be responsible for the idiocy of your poorly leashed apprentices.
If you want your protein slurry back I suppose you can try clawing it out of the tree I fed it to.
>>
>>36371465
Should he not have chalk, then?
>>36371453
*rescinds chalk*
>>36371465
Then he shall not.
>>
>>36371458
Whoever it is must be persistent, seeing as they get torn down almost every day.

>>36371394
As long as everyone involved understands that "respect" isn't synonymous with "willing test subject". I'll...I'll do what I can.
>>
>>36371441
Typical.

>Nicodemus ritedthe
Apparently even this Captcha rune has feedback.
>>
>>36371458
Its a mystery to everyone I'm afraid.
>>
>>36371483
5 bucks says it's the perverted one
>>
>>36371496
That does not narrow it down terribly far, I'll be honest.
>>
>>36371479
That's a good man. Now, how would you like a job in accounting? It gets rough in there, and we need some muscle from time to time.
>>
>>36371379
>>36371377
Well now, but do not complain about me being evil and shit then.
First of all we need virgins. Lots of them. And siege weapons. And more fighters joining the guild as multiclasses, cause need to have night watches going around and patrolling, and raid party in and out from th eunderdark to check if the fuckers are or the move again. This for the first part of the plan.
>>
>>36371501
The Perveted One, you know, who got turned into a girl
Also going to get lunch be back in a bit
>>
>>36371483
Now as for your punishment...what exact AM I suppose to do? With my class I just pile on extra homework but I don't think that applies well here. I could ask Lupa for her input seeing how she's the one that you disrespected but chances are I'd veto like 99% of her suggestions.
>>
>>36371506
I'm rather occupied already, heading the Legal Magecraft department and all.
However, some of the incoming students have shown a predilection for Bureaumancy, so they may be able to intern there.
>>
>>36371479
>*rescinds chalk*
*Lip quivers*
>>
>>36371437
Paperwork is eternal, Lupa. It has never been created and it will never end. I can go into my office right now and find you Guild Admission Certificate if that will convince you.
>>
>>36371496
>>36371501
Not to mention it's terribly overt.
>It must be a pervert who put magical recording devices in the girl's baths!
Like, who else would do that?

>arkmanym materials
Oh. Right, I probably need to go shopping for material components for a few spells soon.
>>
>>36371533
>Guild Admission Certificate
Mine should be carved into the big stone plate in the basement if you're looking.
>>
>>36371520
I got everything except the virgins. What are they for?
>>36371522
Ah yes, Randolph.
>>36371531
The law comes first, Bob. Unfortunate as your situation is.
>>
>>36371531
BOB. DUNGEON. NOW.

>>36371529
>>36371523
>>36371520
I'm truly sorry for the disturbance everyone, good apprentices are hard to come by these days.
>>
>>36371441
I have more than enough authority, you idiotic whelp. I have seniority on each and every one of you. If I wanted, I could have most of you banished, and would have the muscle to back up said banishment.

>>36371473
Did I stutter, idiot? I can't do anything remotely useful with a protein slurry, which is why I'm telling you to pay the 100 gold so that I can replace whatever creatures are now missing because you couldn't be bothered to subdue a simple creation made by an apprentice. Now either pay up the money, or give me a few of your internal organs.

>>36371533
You obviously were not here when Jake'ness decommissioned all the paperwork when he left for the Northern Wastes. It took us years to salvage the little paperwork that was salvageable. And I don't have a Guild Admission Certificate. I was one of the founding members of this guild, we didn't feel the need to have such certificates then.
>>
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>>36371520
I know better than to ask about the virgins, but that aside doesn't seem that bad. Though I think we'd want defenses against siege weapons instead of the siege-breaking weapons themselves. But you obviously have something in mind.
>>
>>36371579
>internal organs.
I can get you "an" internal organ, but you'll have to pay for the raw materials.
>>
>>36371529
I understand. Are they properly dead inside? Otherwise, we can't use them. Bureaumancy is useless without complete and utter careless- and callousness.
>>
>>36371579
Lupa by virtue of you being the one disrespected, I'm obligated to hear how you think Sam should be punished.
That said I remind you that I still hold the final say in the debate.
>>
>>36371579
Having the history of the guild's laws and statutes imprinted in my mind upon my arrival here, I can attest against this. The Retroactive Certification Act instituted certification to each member of the guild that was involved before the first certificates were given.
>>36371600
Quite a few of them are practically robots. I prefer those who act with conviction but not emotion, so the other ones are more in your court.
>>
>>36371628
Meh, do whatever you want with her. I honestly don't care enough to come up with a good punishment.

>>36371629
Yeah, that would hold credibility, IF you had been a part of the guild before Jake'ness decommissioned almost everything before leaving for the Northern Wastes. So my original certificate is gone, and I do not remember filling out a new one. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Antruthius. See how that works out for you.
>>
>>36371579
That's funny. I should remind you that for Antruthius to gain permission to found the Guild, the proper tax forms were to be produced for the current king. I wrote those tax forms, and have done so ever since. I also wrote your Guild Admission, as well as my own, for that matter, before that buffoon Jakeness decided to torch it all and I had to go into exile in the Plane of Eternal Paperwork. So don't get cocky. You might be able to best me in a fight, but I know my paperwork.

>>36371629
Good and good. You can send them over anytime between 9:30 and 9:31 tomorrow morning.
>>
>>36371698
Some Bureaumancers take documents out in triplicate. I do it in infinity minus 1. There is a copy out there, believe me.
>>
>>36371698
Well, there's a relief, and here I was worrying you might suggest something perverted like making go naked for a week or something.
>>36371588
Now as for your punishment young lady, I think helping me clean up the place like my office, the dorm rooms, and reorganize the Great Library for a week is appropriate enough.
>>
>>36371733
Redundancy is an important thing to have. A wise decision.
>>36371752
Oh, I should mention that the Great Library's archeology wing is currently under renovations.
Samantha, do remember to bring a boggart tincture with you, in the case that those foul imps have taken up residence in the renovated areas.
>>
>>36371711
Fine, if it bothers you idiots that much that you're just going to constantly annoy me about this, just give me the paper work so that I can get this all settled. I'm pretty sure my birth place kept magical records, so I should be able to find something intact even though it's been so long that I don't even know if the place is still even there. And I'm sure I kept some papers at my old lab at the original guild before we moved here. Would that make you damn paper-pushers happy?
>>
>>36371588
You need Virgins? head up to the Empyrean Realm. You might as well call it the ComicCon realm.

>>36371629
Dr.Stabby tosses Anfarthon a box that is leaking blood with a halmark card that congratulates him on a promotion.
>>
>>36371795
It would indeed, Lupa. By the way, you're late on your student evaluations. I would appreciate them any time between right now and very soon.
>>
>>36371806
Whoops dropped my name tag
>>
>>36371806
I see atonement was not for you. A shame.
Any time you feel ready to do it properly, I am available for contact.
>>
*Goes back to the dungeon*
*Never did find out what happened to the number three*
>>
>>36371817
uuuuuuuugh, fine. I'll fill them out after the meeting. Can I get a list of my students? I only remember one of their names.
>>
>>36371834
Oh come on. You don't even look surprised that I murdered my way out of the Empyrean court system, found your boss, cut off his head and put it in a box.
>>
I'm back from getting lunch. What I miss?
>>
>>36371864
I am not surprised because you did not. Empyreans are nonphysical, there is neither a body to murder nor a head to remove. It seems you are suffering delusions, I can contact a Psychomancer if you wish.
>>
>>36371844
If you'd actually filed a list of your students, I might be able to help you.
>>
>>36371894
Just had to administer my first punishment to my apprentice, nothing too outlandish.
>>
>>36371897
Shows what you know about Stabupuncture. Go on, open the box!
>>
'Kay guys, sorry I made you wait, I was arranging the order for the stonethrowers.
>>36371897
So where can I find the virgins I need for the plan? I heard the empyreal realm has plenty of them...
>>
>>36371894
Stabby has returned, suffering psychotic delusions, Bob is back in the dungeon, and Lupa is filling out paperwork.
>>36371925
*Anfarthon opens empty box*
I was at least expecting a rock or something. This is underwhelming.
>>36371927
I mean, if by virgins you mean incapable of sexual impulses, then yes, they've got tons.
>>
>>36371927
I think you know what I'm going to ask you, Chromina.
>>
>>36371949
Are you blind? there is a head in there.
>>
>>36371967
Yes, alright sir. As you say...
>>36371927
What exactly do you need the virgins for, by the way?
>>
>>36371901
Oh god damn it. I knew I had forgotten something.

>>36371894
Hey, assistant, go around and gather a list of my students names, will you? Also a physical description of them would be nice.

>>36371949
I thought you were dishonored because you had sexual relations with me? and then you couldn't keep it in your pants.
>>
>>36371983
Here you go ma'am
>>
>>36371983
Technically I only got those feelings when I inhabited a physical form, and the Empyreans don't really take such forms while in their own realm.
>>
>>36371983
Not going to do anything untoward with such a list I hope?
>>
>>36371956
It is Cromia Lieselotte Isotta Van Mannsfield-Schwarzhelm for you.
>>36371979
Oh, things, Stuff. Nothing evil, most certainly.
>>
>>36372005
Thank you very much.

>>36372017
No, it's just these damn paper-pushers are forcing me to do my paperwork, and I apparently have to fill out my student evaluations. Which requires a list with physical descriptions, as I only remember my favorite's name.
>>
>>36372042
Mhmm... Well, I can find you some evil-aligned virgins. Takes the moral responsibility off of me, at least.
>>
>>36372042
I mean if you really need virgins, just hit up the daycare.
>>
>>36372071
Ehrm, actually it would be better to have good aligned virgins. I do not think it would work with evil ones. Ehrm.
>>
I have to go do stuff now. Bye
>>
>>36372118
Yes, you'll have to look elsewhere then, unfortunately.
>>36372087
Actually, I'm pretty sure Pedoas the Morally Unhinged visited the daycare yesterday. Could complicate things.
>>
>>36372149
HAHA, No shit, really?
>>
>>36372149
Fine, fine. I'll it all by myself. Cromia, go save conspierre. Cromia, kill those slivers. Cromia, save this fucking guild without our help when it comes to put together a massive sacrifice to Asmodeus. Talk about friends...
>>
>>36372175
Sacrifice to who now?
>>
>>36372175
Do you REALLY want my help?
>>
>>36372042
I can only assume that's less of a chore to write in your native language.
>>
>>36372175
So, uh, I could make you some virgins. Gonna take me 20 minutes if you could get me a pint of virgins blood.
They'll be full grown, buxom, pure, and virginal!
>>
Oh also before I forget, Does anyone want to become the new head of the thiefs guild? Our last one was to dumb to live.
>>
>>36372321
Frankly, I doubt physical attractiveness will matter for the ritual she has in mind.
>>
>>36372332
I would, but honestly I have enough on my hands being just the head of the poison's department.
>>
>>36372042
*Sigh* I'll just go ahead and ask, then. Have you filled out the proper paperwork for those fortifications?
>>
>>36372364
Well I suppose not, but any job worth doing is worth doing well.
Besides, decanting them from the tanks is a lot more fun this way.
>>
*is ejected from the dungeon*
>>
>>36370185
Why are you out of the dungeon, Bob?
>>
>>36372427
"I solved the riddle."
>>
>>36372404
...Mhmm. As you were then.
>>
>>36372388
Meh, obviously. Who the hell do you think I am?
>>
>>36372478
An arrogant twat?
>>
>>36372478
I mean, other than someone who drops her nametag
>>
>>36372495
I understand that this meeting is winding down, but such language is unnecessary.
>>
>>36372495
Yeah but a powerful, evil arrogant twat at that.
>>36372521
Talking about it, this meeting has been very long, I mean, 10 hours long. That's some fuckhuge meeting.
>>
>>36372444
What's the answer, then?
>>
>>36372554
Indeed. Were this meeting held at a later hour, I imagine it would have been over quicker.
>>
>>36372478
Someone whose profession doesn't include any actual bureaucratic education. I would like to have it delivered to me about four hours ago in my duplicate office.
>>
>>36372648
You know, even for legal types like me, bureaucracy is truly unberable.
>>36372602
Either That, or something exciting would have happened. Last three times it went his way.
>>
>>36372565
...I can't say it. I don't have any threes
>>
*hums, sweeping the floors*
Wha-huh? The hell are you all still doing here? Guild's closed, bugger off!
>>
>>36372814
"No it isn't."
>>
>>36372739
God damn it, Bob. Here you go.
3
>>
>>36372814
Guild is never closed. Man I swear, Jheska was a creepy fucker and a traitor but the janitors were way better organized when she was around.
>>
>>36372867
>>36372830
Ey, scram you squatters! Meeting's over!
Don't make me get the mop!
>>
>>36372857
"The answer is about tree fiddy"
>>
>>36372915
It was about this time I realised Bob the Math Magician was not an apprentice, but a 50 feet tall crustacean from the paleozoic era. He was also a very tired meme.
I'll repeat one last time before I go to bed.
God damn it, Bob.
>>
>>36372915
Leinthe's tits, now we got a damn sea monster in here!
The shit I put up with...
>>
"Hey, I'm not an apprentice! I'm head of the mathImagic department,"
>>
>>36372915
>>36372960
>>36372985
Huh. And to think I didn't notice, when I see such things on a regular basis.
>>
Okay, I'm done and... did everyone leave? I'll just occupy myself with the library.
>>
Sorry missed the meeting but my classes take precedence. What did I miss?
>>
>>36374589
people speaking ill of you. lurco and tedias claim to have proof you are only 500 years old and not that powerful to boot.



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