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I don’t rightly know, did you? Or maybe about how her humany parts are getting integrated? Or maybe about how you have three or four plans for if she goes dark chocolate rather than the yummy milk chocolate she has right now. Your ball game, I am just here for the drinks.

What do you want to talk about with Lady Wolfu Von Lovely abs?

[] Explain how she is super nazi, and you want azzy to root around her think meat for the bad parts
[] You called everyone here for a pillow fight. Yeah. That
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>Intro Crap:
>pastebin.com/mzS6YN7P

>>36164856
Weren't we going to talk about that thing we heard at the Mendel base about us being the worst person ever and the Jager giving fake Mendel tips on how to kill us? And why we didn't like that? Because we know Mendel is obviously the worst person ever, and we haven't earned the crown yet until we kill her in single combat and eat her love parts?

>>36164856
I believe we were going to accuse her of calling Risa stupid and damaging her self esteem? Shit I don't know, I'm bad at these. Also I want to know about the Time Devourer from Azzy.

We should go see Akira at some poiint, he did offer to help us with our problems. Starting with the Wyrm or Izanami might be okay.

>>36164950
Also, just checked the pastebin. I think we should splurge on I am pretty sure that is mine. I am not sure but I think we have enough change in our pockets to afford 0 SPXP.

>>36165057
Good news then.
>0 SPXP

No more, no less.

>>36164984
I wanted to congratulate her for knowing we're an awful person, because I was afraid she had a blind spot.

Also, the best I can think of is telling them about the time devourer and seeing if they know anything.

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“I remember! You were contorting,” conspiring, “conspiring with Mendel! Don’t you try to deny it, I won’t listen to your honeyed words, or your sweet lies!” You say turning away from the wolf.

“And Asmodeus is here because?” Jager asks.

“Time worms. Bears, stairs, fleas! Look, a lot went on okay? I am having sort of a day!” You shout.

“Stop yelling. Look, Risa, whatever you think is going on isn’t, alright?” She asks.

“Then how is it I caught you in bed with the enemy?” You wonder. “You called me a stupid person, and accused me of being super dangerous and sort of awful.”

“Figurative bed or literal?” Asmodeus asks, trying to keep up with your logic.

“Maybe a little of both.” You say, causing Asmodeus to make a face that screams how shocked she is by this scandalous information.

“I didn’t sleep with Mendel.” We don’t know her words to be true. “And Risa, I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you aren’t always all that clever. I love you to death, but you are scared of the neighborhood cat, and your weakness to stairs borders on debilitating.” She spells out.

“First off, those are antics so they are cheeky and fun, second you know you shouldn’t make fun of my condition! I have feeling parts!” You shout.

“Look, you don’t tell me or even ask me about everything you do, so why should I have to tell you about every little thing I do? That isn’t even sort of fair.” She explains.

“But—I don’t—I would tell you if you asked!” You say.
(1/2)

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“But I don’t because we are grown and don’t have to check in every single time we do something. You have some, well, rough edges but we are still friends. I like you because of how you are, okay?” She replies.

“Should I step out of the room so you can make up?” Asmodeus wonders.

You shake your head. “No, no I think we are pretty much done now.”

Are we really though?

[] Be angry at Jager, demand she tells you about how much she remembers about being alive
[] Let it go, time to talk to Azzy (Bout what?)
[] Go find Akira. You need some prophet knowledge.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>36165057
>>36165080
So two people want "I'm pretty sure that's mine"?

Unless there are major objections it is bought

>>36165319
>[] Let it go, time to talk to Azzy (Bout what?)
The end boss material whose prophet we gonna visit at some point.

Gonna be honest here, Jager's memories are not my priority since I don't know what to do with them.

>>36164950
Pretty sure Jager wasn't helping Mendel kill us, and instead specifically said she wouldn't do that.

I do recall some feeling sad that Risa wasn't able to help Jager as much as they wanted, and that even though it wasn't the case it feels like Jager dealt with all her issues without Risa.

I don't know why we grabbed Azzy right now though.

>>36165319
>[] Let it go, time to talk to Azzy (Bout what?)
time devourere and how to kill

>>36165319
Man, why'd you listen to those guys who didn't remember what they were talking about? Unless that was meant to be Risa's reaction and not the voices.

In any case do >>36165417 if applicable, and if not, do the time devourer stuff.

>>36165319
>Be upset that we couldn't help Jager
>>36165402
Also this End boss time eater.. stuffs.

>>36165597
Maybe not, AE already explained that we did help Jager,and I think Risa heard it as well?

It probably won't do anything.

>>36165319
Tell them about this time devourer thing. Sounds incredibly serious and maybe Azzy has more info. If not then good to fill them in.

>>36165295
>I love you

accept her marriage proposal

>>36165735
Not even close to appropriate.

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“Well I am sort of sad you didn’t need my help to work through your stuff.” You say. Whubba? Come on, you made the chick more confident and stuff. That had to help her with some of her issues.

“Well, you helped in your own way.” Jager cryptically answers.

“I had a Freud outfit.” You say angry. Did you just want to do another Jager in Wonderland episode? If it makes you feel better I very much doubt she has really worked through the fact she was the most Nazi of Nazis. She will be plenty fucked up, just for you. “I would like that.” You smile nodding.

“Anyway, Azzy, what is a Time Devourer and how do I kill it?” You wonder.

She looks confused, absolutely baffled really. It is a feature you have never seen before, and doubt one that she makes very often. “That is a rather intimidating name, isn’t it?” She asks. “Well, let me see, Time Devourer? I would imagine, just from the name, it is something that devours time. A rather silly notion.”

“Why is that?” You ask.

“Because you can’t just devour the time of this universe. It is all fundamentally linked to the continued existence of, well, everything.” She says

“But I can mess with time, and the TaRDiS can go as it pleases through the time vortex!” You object.

She shakes her head. “Yes, but for time to stop, or for you to travel back in it it has to exist first. Picture the universe with no time. Not time has no meaning, such as the case of all mater reaching maximum entropy or time stopping, but time actually no longer being there. The short of it is our universe doesn’t work without it. Saying time devourer is like saying length devourer, it is something that would eat a fundamental fact of our universe that really has no exact form, but is rather a part of the dimensions of the universe.” She says.
(1/2)

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“So you have no idea what this Time Devourer is? Mendel seemed to think it was a real thing, and that I was partially at fault for it existing.” You ask.

“Afraid not.” She says.

That’s a scary thought. “So Mendel knows what Time Devourers maybe are, or has an idea. Who else might know?” You wonder. Lucy maybe, he seems to know too much. Also, ugh. “Ugh.” You echo my sentiments at the creepy sod.

[] Go see Akira, you have some devouring to explain
[] Ask about going to find a second Mendel Base. You want to find the muggy cunt and box her ears in.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>36165319
Is the Time Devourerer thing legit or is Mendel just trying to trick me into killing myself?

>>36165844
>[] Go see Akira, you have some devouring to explain

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!

>>36165806
>Risa
>appropriate

doom and gloom anon, pls get the stick removed up your ass. I'll gladly pass around a donations jar if need the dough

>>36165844
>[x] Go see Akira, you have some devouring to explain


>[x] Other, please specify
"Oh don't think I didn't notice Jager. I can into subtlety! and yes, I accept your marriage proposal. We can discuss the venue when I get back."

>>36165844
>[] Other, please specify
But Azzy used to have a closet and then Akira beep booped and then the closet was gone. Isn't that proof of Time Devourerererererers?

>>36165844
>>36165896
seconded

>>36165844
>[] Ask about going to find a second Mendel Base. You want to find the muggy cunt and box her ears in.
I want Mendel dead so we don't have to deal with her bullshit any more.

>>36165844
Before we talk to Akira, let's get some info from Azzy and maybe the scarecrow god on what it means to be a prophet, and if it's possible to poach one to work for you

>>36165896
Apparently sge tastes like honey suckles.

>>36165875
>>36165892
And do what? He's not gonna tell us anything significant and might flat out lie to us.

We don't know how to kill him yet, but he can probably kill our stuff.

>>36166016
I don't know. If she keeps talking straight with us and leaves Jager alone we might be fine.

>>36165357
>IAPSTIM bought
>Madness being not unlocked for purchase
Oh well.

I guess we gotta buy other stuff first?

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“But you used to have a closet! Then Akira got stuck in it, then the closet got eaten! Isn’t that proof of Time Devourers?” You ask.

“I’m afraid I am unsure what you are talking about.” She says as she taps a perfectly manicured nail against her chin.

She doesn’t remember. Why do we then? “Old one parts?” You guess. They are generally the magical pot hole cover for this narrative. Let’s go with that. “Well that’s troubling. Azzy, is it possible to hijack a prophet?” You wonder.

Azzy tilts her head, then scrunches up her nose in that cute way that lets you know she is thinking. It’s so cute you feel your bones wants to break in the absolute joyous agony of her presence, and tear through your flesh, then violate jager. “I suppose it is possible.” She says. “It would be phenomenally difficult, and I am uncertain why someone couldn’t just make their own prophet, but yes. It can be done. Assuming the one doing it is able to tear parts off of the god or spirit originally commanding the prophet, and assuming the prophet can withstand the transition.”

Seems it is possible, but phenomenally difficult. Lovely.

[] See Akira
[] Try and find leads about Mendel
[] Other, please specify

>>36166209
Your wild speculation convinced me. I guess no we have no choice but to give up and the end the quest.

>>36166256
Corrected

>>36166276
>[] See Akira
poke his 3rd eye

>>36166276
>Curl up in Jager lap. Demand to be spoiled.

>>36166276
Ask Scarecrow god how to find Izanami since we lost our laser. Time for Sin-Fin to make a friend.

>>36166276
>[] Try and find leads about Mendel

>>36166276
>Assuming the one doing it is able to tear parts off of the god or spirit originally commanding the prophet
Are you saying that we need to use that bloody RISA SMASH 55SPXP power on Akira to do this?

Christ, Azzy. We're not made of the stuff!
Well, technically I think Risa might actually be 99% SPXP by mass at this point. But it's not like it's a fluid asset!!!!!!

>>36166276
>See Akira

We need to loyalty mission the lad, baring that, we force him to be our prophet for a profit

>>36166280
Is that really the only alternative?

Not, say, working out just what we want from Akira, and how we plan on getting it?

If that's your response to being told to think about your actions, maybe we really should give up.

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“Well you two get along. I have to go see a man about a devourer.” Fun word.

You go out to the inside portion of the shrine and start sniffing the air. The hint of rotten time and creepy fill your nose so you make a lazy beeline for the source. While you walk you glance up. “Hey, Monologue. I died about ’79 right?” You wonder. Yeah, there abouts, why? “Was—was I Sid Vicious?” You wonder. Shut up and keep walking. Just shut your mouth and—this isn’t becoming a sex thing, you bastard. You start humming Sex Pistols songs while you walk, happy to keep your spirits up with the music of Johnny Rotten Finally you feel a shiver up your spine and turn to see Akira, standing a comfortable distance away and smiling. “Hello sensei.” He says, and you almost wish he had a twin to hold his hand and say it, because that would somehow make it less creepy.

“Akira. I gots questions. Questions about time devourers.” You say.

“That doesn’t matter.” It does so! “What you should really be worried about is Mendel. Aren’t you curious about where to find the next clue? I could tell you, since finding and fighting Mendel is so very important.” He hums, and you think for a moment you hear a time quake in the distance.

“Look mate, what makes you think—“ You start.

“Don’t you need to keep Jager safe? Mendel is a constant reminder of who she used to be.” You see the third eye open and spin, so fast it looks like it is full of laughing spiders for a moment before it closes. “I could help you. Just like old times.” He smiles, but his eyes are totally dead.

What do we do?

[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!
[] Mendel is a serious threat. We need to at least find her. Okay, ask where the last clue is
[] Ask him something else
[] Other, please specify

>>36166389
...No?

She's saying we'd need to at least partially consume the time devourer since that's Akira's boss.

And any advice Akira gives will cause max damage to the fabric of space time like with the angel twins, because that aids the Time Devourer and makes >>36166539 impossible.

>>36166547
Akira has no way of killing us, just avoiding us until TD fucks everything up.

I'm just sick of your pessimism and you passing off your paranoia as wisdom/advice.

>>36166652
>[] Ask him something else
Is Akira even in there anymore?

>>36166652
>[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!

>>36166652
>Ask what would happen if we licked his body and what's left of his soul clean? Ask what would happen if we bolstered what was left of his mostly subsumed soul with a bit of ourselves? Ask if he'll have time to scream before we're done, not Akira himself but the thing talking through his lips.

>>36166652
[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!

>>36166739
Don't inform him of the plan. That will just kick shit into overdrive.

>>36166652
>[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!

I trust Akria less than I trust Mendel... I'll be back in afew I need alcohol.

>>36166652

Either you tell me about your boss, or I take your distractions as reason to ask Mendel....

I doubt I will stop messing around with time, even if I know... so there.

>>36166755
Like he doesn't already know.

>>36166800
He doesn't know. Risa's one of the few things that cause him problems.

>>36166652
>[] Mendel is a serious threat. We need to at least find her. Okay, ask where the last clue is
He know's we'll spite him. He said that specifically so we wouldn't go after Mendel until it's too late. We got a lead. If we leave it too long, it will go cold, Mendel will bullshit her way out of it, and we'll be back to before square one.

>>36166652
>[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!

>>36166826
You're joking right?

>>36166652
>[] Ask him about time devourers! You will not be swayed!
>people being this retarded

Fucking with Time,
Blasting Ceros,
Speaking Rhymes
Killing Ancient Pagan gods dead,
She can hear voices in her head

Ahhh ahh ahhh ah ahhh.
Ahhh ahh ahhh ah ahhh ah.

Nazis on the rise,
And the Wolfu's victimized.
A Nat 1? no surprise,
Fatebreakin' in the speed of time

Ahhh ahh ahhh ah ahhh
Ahhh ahh ahhh ah ahhh ah

Spectacular Spectacular RISA-CAT!
Spectacular Spectacular RISA-CAT!
Spetaculaaaar

Spectacular Spectacular RISA-CAT!
Spectacular Spectacular,
RISA-CAT!

>>36166652
"Is that the best you've got, my little serpent? Jager has rejected Mendel twice, once as she was, and once as she is. And I believe whatever Jager will be will do the same. And if she does turn against me, it'll be because it was the right thing to do."

>>36166652
>“I could help you. Just like old times.”
lift some furniture U cheeky cunt. and then I want you pick up the garage and move it from the left side of the shrine to the right side

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“An interesting question.” He says, before you can ask if Akira is even in there anymore. “I certainly think I am Akria. I have his memories, and I maintain the continuity of my own existence within the context of my own narrative. Still, as a prophet it is… hard to tell the difference at times between my will and the will of whatever thing I follow.” During the ellipses you caught a flicker of the Akira you used to know. Seems he is still in there somewhere.

“The time devourer.” You finish, two and two coming together.

“Yes.” He answers.

“The bloody hell is it?” You wonder.

He seems to have been waiting for that question as he takes a small breath before you finish your sentence. “It is the fail-safe of a universe gone mad. It is the only wish that has been dreamed of since the dawn of time. It is absolution. It is freedom.” He explains.

“That doesn’t explain shit. Don’t say ‘He explains.’ Because he bloody well didn’t.” You snarl.

“Functionally it is closer to The Old Ones, but that is not exactly informative. If this universe is a microbe, the Old Ones are all the other organisms in the ocean, the land, and beyond the stars. This universe is a box, and everything outside of the box that has some form of life is an Old One. As I said, not an exact term. Outsider may be more functionally useful.” He explains.
(1/2)

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I like Old One. “Alright, so where is your boss?” You ask.

“I already told you. Look up.” He says. Before you can object he furrows his brow in annoyance. “You have read Douglas Adams, you can figure out what I mean. Look. Up.” He commands.

“I am surprised you are telling me this.” You say.

“We are passed the tipping point. Mendel thinks she can stop it, but it is an idle thought. I can’t begrudge her her wish, I can however pity her. There are too many errors, they are cascading.” He explains.

We don’t know what that means. “Tell us where your boss is!” You shout.

“I already answered that request. Look up.” He smiles creepily, seems about to burst into laughter, then frowns as if truly furious.

[] Ask him something else, Mendel maybe? (what?)
[] Go find Jager to talk about stuff
[] Scarecrow about Izanami. Sin-Fin needs a friend.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>36167179
Fuck this, can we just kill this little shit already and then kill the little shit that comes and trys to fix him

>>36167143
>[] Ask him something else, Mendel maybe? (what?)

but what about the heat death of the universe?

then
>[] Other, please specify
find the ghost of Douglas Adams

I only saw the HitchHiker movie, I am not qualified for this

What was the name of that random hollow we liked?It wasn't 42 was it?because if it was we need to go kill him..

>>36167243
again?

>>36167236
I read half of the first book. So yeah I'm in the dark as well. Maybe I should go get the sparks notes?

Does... that mean the plant and its uncanny ability to fall from the sky? Because Regenald always dropped from above on people.

>>36167318
Its either the plant, god, 42, or the 'universe' just shutting down

>>36167179
[] Go find Jager to talk about stuff

Maybe she knows douglas adams?

>>36167179
"Don't worry, I'll put it together pretty soon, I'm just not really feeling it right now. Also could you give me a vague window of time where something really bad happens in the soul king's corpse?"

Then Izanami time.

>>36167415
Well without any background Look up only strikes the plant with me. I re-read the first few thread Tuesday.

Overall though I'd say I've got no idea.

>>36167462
Well its possibly God because he created the universe in the first place plus "I am Alpha and Omega the Begining and the End" and all that

>>36167318
>>36167415
I figured looking up meant seeing AE's name and trip, and the Time Devourer represents the end of the quest.

But that'd be ridiculous, right?

>>36167536
I'd be horribly upset.

>>36167552
No worries. This quest will never end. That's all a lie.

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>>36167536
Your crazy theory makes more sense than my crazy theories and that bothers me.

>>36167579
the quest ends when AE's liver fails.

June-ish I think

>>36167179
As retarded as it sounds.. could we just.. you know.. look up?

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Really? I’m the only one? Terribly embarrassing, should not have counted on that reference. Alright, the short of it is there is a society, a race, on a planet in a system full of dust so the sky is always obscured. There are no stars, no birds, nothing above eye level. They evolve on this planet, until one day a space ship breaks into the system. They hear it coming towards them, and they look left, right, forwards, backwards, and even down, but never even consider looking up because there was never anything particularly interesting there. It hit the ground, and the people there were killed and astonished. They repurposed the rocket, and went beyond the dust cloud around their system to see the stars for the first time. They nodded, accepted it was there, and decided that they should do something about that before turning around and making ready to wage the worst war the universe had ever seen. Oh. Oh! I get it. Look up. So something like this?

Your vision swims, and you fall to the ground as the sensation of an unused portion of directionality is turned on in your mind. You open your eyes and look up at the sky and see something rather troubling. A swimming mass of tentacles, eyes, and teeth, a universe wide, chewing on chunks of reality around it. You see small pieces of it split off and send beams into the reality in the sky. When they wear down the universe enough a phallic tentacle stabs into it and starts violating the universe. You vomit, Swedish fish, band aids, crayons, and Ryoko’s homework filling the ground before you. You glance back and see small ripples, similar to what the beams make, trailing your wake. You try and look up at it, then become acutely aware of it looking back.
(1/2)

>>36167179
Let's talk to the Plant about this, she's a fountain of wisdom.

Also we don't hang out with Sunny enough.

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>>36167536

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Reality breaks in your mind, and you just laugh. You are unable to process the sheer absolute of the thing before you, so you laugh along, unable to do anything else. Tears stream down your face and you curl into a ball over your quickly cooling vomit, trying to contain the horror of what you just witnessed. “Turn it off!” You demand, feeling the strange X shaped eye things probing you with their beams. “Turn it off turn it off turnitoffturnitoffturinitoffTURNITOFF!” You shout.

I hit a switch, and you are no longer looking up, as it were. You glance up at Akira who has tilted his head like a dog hearing the word treat. “Now you know a portion of what I see all the time.” He explains.

You alright? “No. No I’m not.” You answer.

[] You need Jager. You need lots of Jager. Maybe some Azzy too
[] Ask about Mendel. You gots work to do
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>36167617
>Your vision swims, and you fall to the ground as the sensation of an unused portion of directionality is turned on in your mind. You open your eyes and look up at the sky and see something rather troubling. A swimming mass of tentacles, eyes, and teeth, a universe wide, chewing on chunks of reality around it. You see small pieces of it split off and send beams into the reality in the sky. When they wear down the universe enough a phallic tentacle stabs into it and starts violating the universe. You vomit, Swedish fish, band aids, crayons, and Ryoko’s homework filling the ground before you. You glance back and see small ripples, similar to what the beams make, trailing your wake. You try and look up at it, then become acutely aware of it looking back.
The fuck? Since when did we have time-vision or whatever the bloody fuck it is we just did?

Rolled 22 (1d100)

Alright, so, in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," the protagonists use a spacecraft able to travel near instantaneously by using a chaos engine that has the result of causing temporal and physical fluxes. Of those random fluxes, there are two who stand out in particular: a whale and a plant that had been generated at the same time. The whale was about to reach the true meaning of life before eating dirt and the plant thought to itself, "Oh no, not again!" I don't know what this has to do other than the implying the fact that we should watch out for skydiving cetaceans.

>>36167597
Nah


I am going to be out of country in June, so if this quest is still going I may have to change hours, or take a break. My liver lasts forever though

>>36167645
>[] You need Jager. You need lots of Jager. Maybe some Azzy too

>>36167645
You have to look at that all the time? Bloody fucking hell, kid. We should get you an ice cream or something. Damn.

>>36167645
Only our plant can comfort us now.

>>36167662
Peeking at the edge of infinity, not really peeking just at time. Sort of using your old one parts to take a step back from the universe and look at it as if it were a snow globe you were suddenly pulled out of. One being attacked by a cat.

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>>36167645
>get Akira something to take the edge off, like crack.

>[] You need Jager. You need lots of Jager. Maybe some Azzy too

>>36167645
>[] You need Jager. You need lots of Jager. Maybe some Azzy too

>>36167737
Neat. Looks better with color.

>>36167617
Oh shit, now I remember. They had like a robot army shaped like cricket players right?

Or was that someone different?

>>36167737
Not bad! Random SPXP boost
>>36167797
I think you are right!

Jager after saying something to him, is it?

>>36167737
you missed the underside of her hair and it kinda bugs me.

>>36167645
>[] You need Jager. You need lots of Jager. Maybe some Azzy too
Also, get a towel to carry with us. Towel's are handy

>>36167645
"That's a tough break you've got, I'll see what I can do about it."

If we found and consumed one of those fragments of the Time Devourer, I think we'd be able to turn Akira.

>>36167834
been sitting on my flash drive since October 3rd

>>36167861
literally MSpaint. I just did it to kill time during an update.

surprised it got SPXP

>>36167877
You mean those silver feathers that the previous King of HUEco had lying around to Fatebreak?

The ones that Sin-Fin was charged to get by the manipulator in the sha-

Oh fuck us all, Sin-Fin needs our help.

>>36167797
It was the Krikketers.

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“That’s a t—tough lot you g—g—got there kid.” You say wiping at your mouth. “Now I get it.” You sigh.

“Do you?” He wonders. “You only looked up. I am looking forwards, up, backwards, down, left, right, and every direction in between. An infinite reality of never ending nightmares all for me.” He explains. “You haven’t even scratched the surface, and you think you can understand.”

“Okay. I am going to get comfort.” You say crawling away, your legs pretty much giving up. Had you bladder liquid you would have peed yourself.

“I will be here when you have to ask.” He says turning away from you.

You pull yourself into the shrine and see Asmodeus corner Jager. “Oh? Come now, you can’t just say something like that and leave it alone.”

“It’s no big deal! It’s logical really! I can’t have kids, so being so hung up about it is stupid.” She explains.

“Well, setting that aside you do look like you could use a massage.” Asmodeus explains.

“No, I’m okay.” Jager replies.

Asmodeus shakes her head. “Your shoulders must be stiff, right? Here, let me rub them for you.” Asmodeus offers.

“No that’s—Ah! Risa! Hey, get your friend under control.” Jager commands.
(1/2)

>>36168221
How the actual fuck did he get/sin-fin get those

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You pull yourself into Jager’s lap, and rest your head in her delicious milk chocolate thighs. You stick a thumb in your mouth and suck on it absently as you stare wide eyed at the wall. Jager and Asmodeus look at each other, then back to you. “Hey, Risa. You okay?” Jager asks.

“I stared at infinity. It stared back.” You reply.

Jager shrugs, and you feel her warm hand dance through your hair. Asmodeus tilts her head while leaning down to eye level with you, evidently too alien to understand your anguish but understanding you are hurting. “Risa. Hey, you want to shag?” Asmodeus asks.

“Really?” Jager wonders raising an eyebrow.

“Well I am not quite sure how to make her feel better. She is clearly hurt but, well, I'm not even sort of human. I just went with what we have in common.” She says.

"I appreciate the effort." Jager smiles, and you can tell she is being honest. They get along really well.

We have no idea how to do that.

You know, sorry totally unrelated, it occurs to you that Jager talked to Mendel, and thus she may have an idea about where to find the next Mendel location clue.

[] Just lay there. Lay there as long as you can. You can taste time blood in your mouth
[] Ask Jager about Mendel base
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

Also WHY THE FUCK ISNT GOD DOING ANYTHING

>>36168350

Because he's holding all the cards and he's always smiling.

>>36168338
[] Just lay there. Lay there as long as you can. You can taste time blood in your mouth

>>36168338
>[] Ask Jager about Mendel base

>>36168338
Does anybody actually remember why we want Mendel clues? Are we still trying to kill her?

>>36168338
>[] Ask Jager about Mendel base
>[] Other, please specify
demand a massage, I don't care who

Why are we interested in the Mendel bases? We've determined the time monster is our problem.

Why would we go.. and dick with Mendel more?

Wait.. OH GOD THAT PERSON! THE NICE ONE WE LEFT HER IN THAT ROOM!

>>36168338
>[] Ask Jager about Mendel base
Try to be tactful about it. Perhaps Azzy can also offer some insights as to a way to refine or extrapolate what we have on puppet-Mendel's thread so far?

>[] Other, please specify

You guys think we should ask them about those silver daggers or feathers that the old Hueco Mundo king used during our showdown and see if they have any ideas what those could be?

>>36168463

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

>>36168338

>Help us find Mendel, Jager. The devourer is real and we need all the help we can get.

>>36168338
>[] Other, please specify
"Oh god Mendel was right there's a fucking Old One parked right up in the sky and it's making ripples. Menacing menacing ripples it was awful. It was like that time I looked at the Host except in my-QM-has-a-strange-phallic-obsession flavour instead of in angel flavour. And Akira has to look at it all the bloody time no wonder he's creepy as fuck."

>>36168350
Because he is a smug prick who thinks that he's got everything under control when in reality he's woefully incompetent.

>>36168338
cant we just.. you know Phone mendel about the thing?

>>36166962
Spectacular, anon, spectacular

>>36168350
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO21ze8Up34

Clever dick.

>>36168622
Oh yeah, pretty sure he made it so when we ate the plot rock we didnt soulsplode

>>36168338

> Call Mendel.

>>36168338
Ask jäger to call Mendel and hold the phone on speaker. We saw it, behind the bear masquerade.

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“It was awful Jager.” You finally say. “I saw a time thing, and another thing, then there were these X’s and they were unhappy I was having a look at the bloke.”

“It will be okay?” Jager offers uncertain what to do.

You feel a soft hand join Jager’s and conclude it is Asmodeus’. Where Jager is shy, and timid for fear of making it uncomfortable for you, Asmodeus is confident and bold. Where Asmodeus is too daring in some places, Jager takes up the slack, and is shy when she traces around your ear. You shiver in their careful embrace, and you find yourself comforted enough to stop freaking out about the time what you call it.

“Feeling better?” Asmodeus asks.

“Yes. Still, this time devourer is a huge problem. I need to find Mendel and at least ask if she knows just what it is I need to do to take care of it.” You explain.

“I thought we hate Mendel.” Asmodeus point out.

“Yeah, but she is making the best of a truly terrible situation. She has to deal with me, Time Devourer, you, and all of this madness to save the human race. She is still a muggy cunt, but I can at least sort of get why she is the way she is.” You say.

“Well, uh, I may have a lock on one of her bases. It will probably be guarded, but I know where it is.” Jager explains.

That might be useful

[] Go to the base for the final clue
[] Just call Mendel. Because clearly you haven’t burned that bridge yet
[] Other, please specify

>>36168338
Don't ask about the Mendel base, just ask about Mendel as a person.

Better yet, don't talk about Mendel at all, do Izanami or plant.

>>36169036
>[] Just call Mendel. Because clearly you haven’t burned that bridge yet

>>36169036
>just call Mendel
We went to investigate and we saw it! We saw the thing that is not a bear at the end of time while it's prophet flickered between the person he once was and his dead eyed not bear infused present! We can't figure out how Loki is involved, but he might well be.

>>36169036
>[] Just call Mendel. Because clearly you haven’t burned that bridge yet

see if we can't arrange a truce... at least until we eat the big bad scary above dimension thing...

>>36169036
>[] Go to the base for the final clue

>>36169036
>[] Just call Mendel. Because clearly you haven’t burned that bridge yet

>>36169036
>[] Go to the base for the final clue
Talking to Mendel never helps anyone who isn't named Mendel. Kill her and be done.

So I missed a thread I think, we ever figure out what that whole.. Hunger thing was? Maybe we should ask Azzy/Jager about being hungry again if we havent?

>>36169036
>[x] Go to the base for the final clue
I feel like there's something we need to find out about Mendel before we decide she's alright.

>>36169280
Akira was trying to push us towards her.. possibly to destroy any bridge building. He doesn't want us to be on neutral terms with her.

>>36169036
>[] Just call Mendel. Because clearly you haven’t burned that bridge yet

>>36168338
>[] Just lay there. Lay there as long as you can. You can taste time blood in your mouth
The after a good 1203829387 years then
>[] Ask Jager about Mendel base

>>36169036
>[] Go to the base for the final clue
but call saying we're heading over to say hi, bake a cake certainly, and maybe talk shit about time devourers

>>36169512
Anon, I think that year number is a phone number. Somebody call it, we might find Mendel.

File: 1379761919608.jpg (201 KB, 787x1037)

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You pull out your cell phone, with a hard c, and push the Mendel number. It rings a few times, but finally you hear her pick up. She doesn’t even greet you, super rude, but you let it slide for now. “Parlay?” You ask to the quiet other end.

“Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” Mendel asks finally.

“Nonsense! We can bury the hatchet, as it were. I had no idea you were fighting bears before, but now!” You say almost nodding but realizing you would be grinding your head into a sensitive place so you avoid doing it. “Now we can be friends.”

“That’s hard to do. I already got a ‘Risa is ruining everything budget.’ It would be a shame to waste the whole thing.” She says.

“Well, look, I sort of get the whole time devourer threat now. I promise back on the straight and narrow for me.” You say as Jager traces small designs into your back with her finger. “That was a lie, I am an awful person, and will likely do awful things.” You confess.

“I seem to recall giving you a chance. I seem to recall giving you a few chances.” Mendel explains.

“But those times I was super into not listening. Now I am! New age, new Risa!” You promise.

“Hard to commit.” She says. You hear her mulling it over, then the shifting of papers. “Tell you what. If you can find me, and that’s a big if, without using a fatebreaker then we can talk about partnering.” She explains. “I need to know you won’t make the problem worse than it already is unless you absolutely have to.”

Do we accept Mendel’s terms? A science person would be nice.

[] Yes
[] No
[] Other, please specify

>>36169786
>[] Yes

she doesn't want polite girl back lel

>>36169786
Request clarification: Are you only talking about vanilla FB rerolls or can we still use the things for Hate Engine / Wishbreaker / Toothy Grin?

>>36169786
>[] Yes

>>36169786
>Yes
Though ask what the hidden catch is and if her forces will try to box our ears in while we search or when we find her.

>>36169786
>[] Yes

>>36169786
>Yes, but we are keeping the nice girl, because she was polite.

>>36169944
>"What nice girl? No one is missing from my facility other than the two you killed?"

>>36169786
>[] Other, please specify
We're not getting rid of our fatebreakers. We can agree to hold off using them, but I will not consent to any partnership which seeks to take them away.

>>36169786
>[] Yes
I'm still going to vote to kill her when we're done with the Devourer. We can work together for now, but I wont like it.

>>36170002
And if she's legit and doesn't start anymore shit, I'll vote to let her live.

>>36169786
Yes. We just need to be smart, remember our combat forte is blitz attacker, and, if necessary, retreat if we're losing.

Also, she failed to explain herself in a reasonable manner, the only incentive she gave for us to trust her is she wasn't trying as hard as we could to kill her, while the same can be said for us.

>>36169786
"Let's cut to the chase, you're gonna make me sacrifice myself by giving in to my Old One side, and, because I would no longer have existed, I wouldn't be able to do all that damage to time and space.

That's how it works right?"

>>36170301
That would literally make it worse, i doubt the old one risa would give a flying fuck about not using fate breakers and keeping the universe alive

>>36170338
I figured she wouldn't use them due to just sleeping or whatever outside of the universe.

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“No fatebreakers at all?” You wonder

“I will set the control program to fight you at a level that it assumes you don’t have fatebreakers. If you can fight without using them, without breaking reality to show how cool and fancy you are, then I will consider, strongly consider, the idea of us teaming up.” She explains.

“Fine then, I can do that. Give me a when and where, and I will straight up box your robots ears in.” You promise.

“Very well.” She agrees. “This is your final chance, and I only offer it because I find your butt terribly interesting.”

`It is something to look at.” You agree.

“Go to this location, and try to find me in the base. I will do my best to stop you, of course.” She explains.

You get the information then stand. “You going?” Jager asks.

“We may get a science person out of this. I can’t miss that.” You reply.

“Well, do you have your handkerchief?” Jager asks.

“Yes. Yes I do.” You reply.

You sonido to the location, second releasing along the way. You peak over a hill and see the small entrance to the base surrounded by Mendel bots. You suspect they are going to use tech to track you even if cloaked. What do you do?

[] Attack! Risa cats are best at blitz!
[] Sneak by anyway, because something something dark side
[] Other, please specify

Please roll 1d100. Best of first five

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>36170455
[] Attack! Risa cats are best at blitz!

>>36170502
IT BEGINS

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>36170455

It begins

>>36170502
So much for that huh? Done in one.

I hate myself.

File: TheyTakeJoyInOurSuffering.jpg (33 KB, 752x375)

33 KB JPG

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>36170455
>[] Sneak by anyway, because something something dark side

>>36170502

>>36170502
A 100 will counter

>>36170540
We won't get one of those. We're not lucky.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>36170455

>>36170455
[] Sneak by anyway, because something something dark side

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>36170455

>>36170455
>drop cloak so we aren't investing as much energy.
>Risa go fast blitz them.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>36170455
>>36170585
Me

>>36170592
Fuuuck you dice gods.

>>36170502
It won't insta kill us, and we still have third release. Power on through.

>>36170592

So close, but no cigar.

>>36170592
So fucking close. Oh well. We'll keep at it.

>>36170502
Oh man the timing on this could be no more perfect. Proof we a shit. With a fancy bum. Im sure we won't die on first roll though.. hopefully

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>36170592
>>36170540
Thanks Azure. 1 off by one roll and 1 number.

>>36170592
litterally mocking us

>>36170627
>>36170627
Yeah. Unless this 1 manages to kill us outright, we're not going to die here since 3rd release instantly restores all HP and go-juice.

>>36170502
t-TELL HER THAT WAS THEIR ONE AND ONLY FREE SHOOT

>>36170669
Condition was beating the robots, not looking super duper fancy while we do it.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>36170455

Well, the time has come to actually accept that bad things can happen and try to make an interesting story out of terrible dice luck.

The anon that rolled the 1 on the 3rd stage hollow evolution was considered "worse than hitler", but guess what? The reality spawned by us not having hit a further point of possible instability at that juncture might have made all the difference and spawned a much better story.

>>36170750
Or you're just full of shit.

File: 1397493779942.gif (532 KB, 250x251)

532 KB GIF

>>36170592
that's just funny and cruel

File: Sleeping Genocide.png (1.5 MB, 2338x1652)

1.5 MB PNG

>1 Ha ha ha, this is unfortunate

You summon your energy and charge the base. You scream sneak attack at the bio androids who patrol the base. You fire off a cero, but one of them kicks your arm so the cero goes wide. You look at the wide shot as it explodes over some small person’s place, then take a punch to the stomach. You double over, then melt your body into a tumorous blade cancer and try to take over the machine.

It lets out a localized burst of energy that makes you scatter back. You reform just in time to take a robot knee to the face. Your face makes a ‘huh’ look as you get sent back, then a wave of energy overwhelms your body before you can make any defense. You summon an orb of power, combine it with your fist, then slam it into the robot who so offended you.

You detonate your attack, and the robot goes flying back like it were hit by a cannon. You gloat for a moment, and in that moment you are hit with a concussive wave of energy that tears your meat from your bones. You skip off the ground and cough up organ chunks in a crater, totally unaware of what is happening. You get hit with a second wave, and are mostly bones when you stop skipping on the ground, and then decide this shit doesn’t fly.

You throw out a revelation, then a second one, distorting reality as you throw out the blasts. The first one obliterates the robot, but the second one misses entirely. You leap towards the robot with a raised fist, but a metal tentacle stabs into your stomach and throws you against the ground.

You get up and glare.

Please roll 1d100 best of first five

Go juice: Moderate
Damage: Fair

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>36170917

Don't die Risa.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>36170917
big bucks no whammies

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>36170917
Butts for the butt throne

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>36170917
I will not roll a 1 this time.

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>36170917

>>36170948
looks like the rape is on the foot now

good roll me

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>36171032
Yes.

>>36170917

Whelp, I honestly can't believe that Mendel has us playing another stupid game. Is "testing our resolve" by having us attack her an actually productive goal when there are other things we could have blown up not paid for by the tax payer's dime?

Each of these goddamn robots is worth a fortune. And now each wall and machine or employee we shred to pieces in our wake while looking for this stupid bitch is one less resource we'll have for the work that needs to be done.

>>36171103
Did you miss the part where Mendel's a fucking loon?

>>36171103

the bots only serve one purpose; Risa Fodder.
If Mendel proves the importance of the 'Anti-Risa Budget', think of the extra toys we could get when that money isn't being used against us...

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Your fist slams into the chest plate of the robot, and you super charge your fist. You lift up, and the “rib cage” of the bot is torn out, and you fling it aside. The bottom half grows guns, but you quickly roll out of the way of the blast zone, and charge the machine. Your claws tear through its groin plate, then you slam the left leg into the right because left is your favorite direction. You knock the piece away, then send out a blast of energy to destroy it all.

You charge your body with energy, then sonido through the base like a comet of delightful intent. You collapse walls, and tear through buildings, chasing Mendel’s clue. You spin, sending your tails into a few robots, and take massive chunks off of them. You see there is no one in the base, and conclude Mendel filed the human workers out in time for your arrival. Well, you suppose that makes sense.

You get hit in the side by some energy blast that leaves a triangle like after image in the air, and are forced to grit your teeth because bloody hell that hurt. You stab your fingers through the robot, then strain as your muscles scream out they want to nap. You tell them they work for you, then give them a slap on the ass, before perfectly bisecting the machine in front of you.

You do an unnecessary flip over the body of the machine as it crackles with energy, then you sonido away from the bot an instant before it explodes to be all cool. You make your way to a large machine, and see something counting down, plus some data.

It will take a round to analyze, and robots are filing in.

Go juice: Fair
Damage: Light

Please roll 1d100. Best of first five

File: earthbound-=.jpg (631 KB, 1200x1000)

631 KB JPG

>>36171103
That's why Risa sticks it to the man by not paying taxing federal, state, or local.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>36171197
Quick, there's something behind you! Look!

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>36171197

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>36171197
big buck no whammies 2 electric boogaloo

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>36171197

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>36171197
Throw out our snazzy guitar to play with itself, we don't seem to mess with it anymore. Also, can't we sense her? or like smell her out? We were able to catch he "scent" last thread and track it to orbit so why not now?

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>36171197
Why don't we be clever about this and fire a Tesla cannon? It's been ages since we used the bloody things and these metal sots seem like they'd be the sort to be effect by it.

I feel the need
the need for speed...reading

>>36171318
We're outside right?

What about that thunderstorm attack that auto targets foes?

Or is that the Tesla's Cannon you were talking about?

>>36171197
grow eyes all over our body so we can read the screen and fight shit.

>>36171438
That's the one. The ability description doesn't say we need open skies, just clear air. Honestly, having some area coverage to soften those bothersome buggers before we stomp them would be nice. It is sort of our mook mulcher and it hasn't seen much love lately.

>>36171445
*Flashbang*

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>89, good show

You throw out your guitar and let it start playing itself as the computer does computer stuff, then add a small orb of electricity to the mix to help you cover the only entrance to the room. You summon up fist-fulls of energy and throw them with abandon at the entrance of the room. You figure if no one can get in you will be totally safe. You are mostly right.

Robots get shattered into pieces, and blasts are consumed by your assault before they can get to you. One particularly bad one slams into your shoulder to make you spin, but your tails start spitting cero energy like a hydra as you recover from the fairly painful blast. You get a lock on Mendel’s location, and with the information you have from last time, get a fix on her location in orbit. You very much doubt she will accept you just telling her that you know where she is so you charge up your body once more, the dull violet glow filling the bunker, then kick off the ground.

The impact from the leap shatters the base, and crumples the metal and stone like tissue paper. You chart her location and confirm she is currently over Japan, but she will not be forever. You let your shimmering wings take over, and press on into the atmosphere. First it is cold, then burning hot, then cold, then hot again! Curse Gaia, the bipolar slut! You make your way to space, and feel your astral body straining to keep pace with where you are going. You see in the distance a space station, and smile as you use your speed to break through the atmosphere like a reverse comet.

You spit out a curse when a few winged robots get in your way, and then curse louder when you see them generate a large shield behind them to stop your progress. This is strange.

[] Fire all your energy to make a hole, then charge through!
[] Stop and fight each one
[] Other, please specify

Please roll 1d100. Best of first five

Go Juice: Fair
Damage: Negligible

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>36171548
>[] Fire all your energy to make a hole, then charge through!

more rolling = more bad things might happen

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>36171548

> Ramming Speed

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>36171548
[] Fire all your energy to make a hole, then charge through!

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>36171548
Row row, fight the powah! Though, just to be safe let's get some distance between us and....fuck, there's no air in space, how do we talk?

Yo, Azure, how's Risa's texting?

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>36171548
>[] Fire all your energy to make a hole, then charge through!

>>36171662
I don't think they have texting yet. It's like the 90's isn't it?

>>36171686
Pagers.

>Doctor Risa Schrodinger, paging Patient 69, please tell me about your father.

>>36171686
summer of 98 IIRC, without looking at the pastebin

Stone Cold is over as fuck atm

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>36171686
>>36171662

History lesson! The first text ever sent was made in December 1992, stating, "Merry Christmas." Texting, or SMS as it was known then, greatly increased in popularity after teenagers got their greasy hands on cellular phones and by the 2000's, cross-carrier texting and nation-wide communications was standard. Assuming that Mendel keeps up with her crazily advanced technology, contacting her will be trivial.

http://ask.fm/AzureEarth/answer/121357281538

So, uh.
>Plant: Destroyer of Time

>>36171795

According to one older professor I spoke with, they had a really hard time getting the things out there. Originally, his group had been trying to sell the concept to a group of police officers. However, at the time the notion of officers "typing with their thumbs" seemed to ridiculous. I think as a result of that disinterest, his group never ended up continuing with or patenting the idea. He ranted about that failing more than occasionally

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"Mendel! I have the entire internet on one compact disc. I will hold it for ransom until you pay up!....That's right, all Swedish fish."

>>36171966
HAH

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You do artful rolls around the energy blasts, and think you are doing well. Your eyes fill with stars, and you take a symbolic deep breath of air. You charge forward and summon all of your energy. You get hit a few times, and your T-shirt gets torn around your shoulders. You kick off the nonexistent air, and then spin as another blast tears part of your shirt off. You stop a few meters from the shield and your wings twitch. They strain, then push forward to fire a blast of cero energy containing all of the energy you have.

The shields redshift, then explode with the bots. You fly through the hole as fast as you can, but your lack of go juice makes it difficult for you to get any decent speed. A blast hits your fine bum, and years up your back in a way that might be considered kinky if you had those sort of desires. You just roll with the punches, and regenerate as you get closer to the space station. You crash through the wall and a blast of wind gets sucked into the void of space. You crouch dramatically on the ground, and let the wind whip your hair around all cool like until a steel wall closes over the breach and stops your dramatic pose.

You sigh out and take a deep breath immediately afterwards. Not that you need to, but come on love, you need to keep appearances. You walk through the ship, slowly following the vague smell of Mendel, and wonder just what happened here. You see strange mold growing on random corners, and you can practically taste the rust in the air. You stop in front of a panel and squint your eyes. Grime covers the console, and you are forced to rub at it for a moment until you can make out the image. Black on white on red, the flag of the Nazi party. You almost explode the machine, then you see it shimmer and different symbols show up. You look around the machine and notice for the first time soviet era machines coupled with Nazi tech coupled with fairly modern American machines. You conclude the base has been built on ruins.
(1/2)

File: BoQA0uOIcAA_UAt.png large.png (443 KB, 1000x1300)

443 KB PNG

You rub your fingers over a small device with the Nazi flag and conclude that the Yanks kept the tech they couldn’t replace, which meant the stations had Nazi tech, Soviet tech, and Yank tech all sort of somehow working together. You imagine if Jager were there she would be able to tell you what each part did. She is helpful that way.

You press on through the base, and look over the various components. You wonder if you can put your CDs on these things, Jager told you vinyl was outdated anyway, then you come upon a door. It says “MENDEL PROJECT-NO ENTRY”

You were never one for listening to bloody signs because fuck those fucks. You press against the wall and get sent skittering back as a force field forms. You stop yourself from falling out into space, then look up. Something like an anus pulses on the ceiling, then sputters and spits out something solid. You look at the mass, and worry you will have to get a plastic bag to clean up. The mass moves, and you sigh in relief it can clean itself up.

It sends out a wave of energy and you sniff the air to figure out what it is. It stands human sized, but floating behind its back are six wings made of something like energized glass. Machines run over its body, and you see muscles pulse and twitch. Dead, inactive eyes twitch for a moment then lock onto you. You see it summon something like a battle axe of energy. It raises the blade and launches itself at you.

[] Go third release! All out, all the time!
[] Just go as you are. You can take it ~
[] Other, please specify

Please roll 1d100
(2/2)

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>36172199
>[] Go third release! All out, all the time!

I saw the squiggle this time m80

>>36172199
>go third release, she did tailor this to our power level.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>36172199
[] Go third release! All out, all the time!

Jesus fucking christ Mendel, you really think having us as a buddy will make up for all these lost resources?

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>36172199
[] Go third release! All out, all the time!

>>36172244
She has to burn up her entire Risa budget to justify getting more money met year.

>>36172199
Third release yes.

Now, is this Mendel's true form, or just her last guard?

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>36172199
>Third release
Here we go.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>36172199

> [] I'm tired of your shit Mendel!
> [] We don't have options. Third release.

>>36172279
I think then bio spitting thing is Mendel.

>>36172293
Welp it was nice knowing you guys.

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>36172270
That's stupid.
>>36172293
This is really stupid.

>>36172293
AHHHHHH YOU FUCKKKKK!!!!

>>36172293
come the fuck on

>>36172293

The dice love tragedy. Alright. Let's see what this does.

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>36172293
Rolling to deny? I've been a good boy this year Santa, can't I get a Nat 100?

>>36172293
A rough start. Oh well, we'll just have to suck it up.

>>36172293
Ha ha ha. Writing now.

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>>36172293

>>36172293
and I'm tired of your shit anon

>>36172293
Man fuck dice.

We cannot fate break. Yet we will manage.

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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>36172316
>>36172337
Khorne shows this thread his favor. All we have to is survive until his carnal blessing takes effect.

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>36172293

Damn, if only we had masochism. At least then the ass kickings would come with benefits.

TAKE A LICKING AND KEEP ON TICKING!

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You scream in agony/pleasure and hiss as your tails swarm around you. They melt, and you feel the sticky [Delight] tickle every one of your nerves. You roar in agony and- The bloody fuck doesn’t wait for you.

It sends a scythe like weapon into your fluffy cocoon. You are about to object but it detonates, and sends you flying into one of the ultra-technological walls. You look up with a half melted face, your body trying to transform, and scream in both agony and fury. He doesn’t care, and sends small balls of compact explosive energy at you. They stick to your face, and your body is in too much pain to respond, so you get sent flying back. You try to throw a cero, but your arm blooms into a tumorous flower that bends back and stabs your body over and over again.

You try to explain that you will only let Jager penetrate you, but it doesn’t much care for your sass and continues stabbing you. The monster sonidos in front of you, then slams a fist into your jaw. You take a step back and feel your jaw shatter. You cough up blood and try to reply but it slams a knee right in your boob! “Those are my ribs!” You counter as you get sent back into space.

I am pretty sure I am right. You spin head over tail as you go into the void. Then blasts from the countless laser cannons on the station slam into you, sending you back further. You eventually get your bearing and slam the blasts away, trying to keep your body in one piece. You get some distance, then your half rotted tails wrap around you and finish the process. Your body twitching at the terrible sensation.

You scream out in agony, then kick in place. Fookin Mendel

Go juice: Full
Damage: High

Please roll 1d100. Best of first five

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>36172566

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>36172566

Risa finally made it to space. We can't die here!

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>36172566

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>36172566
rawl

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>36172566
Kite the motherfucker. Get far away from the station and keep laser the abomination. Just stay away from the scythe until we get better is what I'm saying.

>>36172566
>Damage: High
Wow. I thought 3rd release healed off all damage. Did it really shoot up from nothing to high from getting blasted out the station?

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>36172566

Wait on the next round of blasts. Use our shield to reflect the combined energy of the station at that one asshole. Alternately, it disables the turrets that are fucking shooting at us.

>>36172641

I think he stopped us from going third release.

>>36172641
This is Mendel's last anti-Risa non FB robot. Of course damage would be high.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>36172660
This sounds like a good idea. Also, keep tossing out Tesla cannons so that they can engage those pesky turrets while we worry about the abomination.

>>36172679
Our Go-juice was nearly empty last turn and now it's full.

>>36172679
Our go juice is full again, so it just hurts that much.

We just need to suck it up though.

>>36172702
Would Tesla's cannon even work in a vacuum?

Also gravity powers.

File: Abominable Angel.png (3.83 MB, 3424x2501)

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>91, I was worried for a tick there mate.

Your body surges with energy and you sonido forward at max speed. Time seems to stretch out in front of the monster, and you see the counter. Its punch connects, and for a second the audience is worried that Risa has fallen. However the image fades to show an illusion, and your real body shows itself on its and in front of him. You send kick after kick into the monster to stagger it. It swipes at you and tears off your leg, but violating tentacles sprout from the stump to quickly tear chunks of flesh off the monster. Your removed leg blooms into a carnage flower, and the petals stab into the beast.

It is distracted enough for you to send wave after wave of kicks after the beast. It screams and tries to strike back. You roll to the side using only your hands and continue the attack. You send a sonido enhanced attack into his chin to push him up, then send a sonido enhanced heel into his head to put him down. You flip and land on his face smiling like a mad woman. “Kiss the boot, of shiny shiny leather.” You laugh.
(1/2)

File: She Who Devours.png (5.1 MB, 2490x3510)

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It swings back, but you kick it up by the chin then send it out into the void of space. The wind pulls at your hair all dramatically for a moment, and you focus your energy. Your tail bones and wings slowly bend forward with your hands and feet. Where they all connect a beam of energy flies out, and then envelops the monster out in the void of space. You laugh as the wall seals itself back up, and feel blood fill your lungs. You look down and see a scythe blade in your chest, but that is just funnier somehow. You snicker at the pain then pull out the blade and casually throw it aside.

Your wings pry open the door, and you finally see Mendel. Or what is left of her. She is in a large tube with countless wires and tubes going into her. Her body looks like it has mostly decayed, but you see a single eye still remains at least to look up at you. You avoid comparing her to beef jerky, and just take in the sights. Computers all link up to the device, and the information displayed on them confuses you. You see one of those pulsing anuses on the wall twitch, then spit out one of the Mendel images you saw before. She coughs, naked and shivering in the space station. She finally seems to hear something, stands, and looks at you. “So you have found me. Now what?” She wonders.

[] Attack! Mendel Bad!
[] Ask her something(What?)
[] We are mates now, you and I!
[] Other, please specify

Go juice: High
Damage: Light
(2/2)

>>36172987
>[] We are mates now, you and I!

I won! I won and you did not win. FRIENDS FOREVER!

>>36172987
>that pic
Sheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt

>>36172987
"Well this was the part where you 'strongly consider' things. Still up to you where things are gonna go from here, m80."

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>36172987
>[] We are mates now, you and I!
>[]Brief her on what our little psychotic prophet has been trying to tell us for a while.

So, you got any savvy ideas on how to prevent the Universe from ending? I've not the foggiest idea how.

>>36172987
>[] We are mates now, you and I!
>[] Other, please specify
snog her again

>>36172987
>I spy with my little eye something else to collect!
>Bring out the Loki eye
>So, what do you know about the bears?

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>36173044
>>36172987
>>36173077
These are all good with me. Supportan'.

>>36172987
[] We are mates now, you and I!
>Snog the glass
>[]Brief her on what our little psychotic prophet has been trying to tell us for a while.

>>36173044
>snog her again
Could we not? Please?

>>36172987
"I think I'm gonna gloat for a while, because I didn't think I'd be able to do this.

...Also, are you even capable of monitoring whether or not I use a fatebreaker, or did you know I'd be so stubborn I wouldn't use one even if it killed me?"

>>36173109
no

>>36173109
No Breaks on the Risa Train.

>>36172987

> "We talk. First of all, suspect I might be the first hollow astronaut. That's pretty neat, but I'm a might bit miffed that you're wasting my time and your resources on this whole pointless chase when I could have killed something delicious that might have been bothering you, benefiting both of us in the process."
> "In fact, it's pretty much been this since the time we met. That's gonna have to change, but first, and I mean this in the most polite way possible. What's with the jar?"

>>36173044
Nah, she'd be expecting it this time.

>>36173044
dew iet, its how scientists say hello to each other

>>36173044
No

>>36172987
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed woman is queen.

>>36173109

No more tonsil hockey with Mendel. It was funny exactly once. The next times it constitutes a possible breach of fidelity. Also, I think the only thing that would make me like Mendel less that I already do is if she turned into some sort of yandere stalker because we fed her justifiable cause for her delusion.

>>36173194
yiss

>>36172987
Breathe on the glass to fog it up, and write something right in front of her eye.

>>36173217
Fuck off. I could tolerate working with her because the bears are awful, but this "LOL MAKE OUT WITH HER!!!" shit is obnoxious.

>>36173213
>The next times it constitutes a possible breach of fidelity

neither Risa nor Mendel are in a relationship

>>36173247
>Jager
We're in a relationship.

>>36173044
Nah. Let's do >>36173021
Appropriately childish.

>>36173267
since?

I want the wolfu too but we're not with anyone right now. don't make shit up because somebody wants to do something you don't want to

>>36173244
no, assert dominance over new found sexually starved friend

>>36172987
>[] Attack! Mendel Bad!
Pissing into the wind. Make the bad rotting husk lady go away.

>>36173291
>I want the wolfu.
>Kiss Mendel
Those are counter productive.

>>36172987

> "So, you're a brain in a jar. Kinda figured that one. Anyway, I've come all the way up here, so let's figure out something shall we? The earth's set to get wrecked by about five different kinds of apocalypse and you've spent the vast majority of your time and resources trying to kill or contain me rather than trying to help me."
>"I don't care about your reasons for it. What matters is what we do from here. I've seen what's hanging over our heads, and figure you might be right to peg it as the biggest cause for concern."
>"Now, how are you going to help me kill it?"

>>36173291
You're being deliberately stupid now.

>>36173329
Jager isn't into girls atm and she wasn't jelly over Shiba and cake. and flustering the mendel is fun.

Risa X Jager has to come with time, assuming it will happen at all

>>36173291
But we want to be, also leading Mendel on will lead to sad times.

>>36173342
Risa and Jager are not in a romantic relationship right now. that's a fact. Don't be delusional.

>>36172987
>[] We are mates now, you and I!

>>36173359
RISA ISNT EVEN A GIRL! Err.. Wait.. Is she? Yeah WELL WHATEVER JAGER IS WOLFU!

She's stated that she can be with Risa but Risa isn't ready/doesn't have what she needs yet. If she's leading Risa on it will kill the Risa cat.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

Rolling for compatability

>>36173363
Mendel does not love Risa, she is sexually starved and we are waving a snogging steak in front of her

>>36173381
>It totally has no effect on whether or not there will be a romantic relationship with a person if you suddenly start making out with someone they (and you until recently) dislike immensely.
Right.

>>36173409
Actually didn't she go on a rant a long time ago about how they were perfect for each other?

>>36173428
I don't recall Jager drinking heavily or crying over the Shiba cake incident.

>>36173400
7 away from perfection.

>>36173444
In Hollow Land Jager and Risa got wasted and Jager asked her why it couldn't just go back to being the two of them.

>>36173444
I don't recall her ever finding out about it.

>>36173409
She hates being rejected though. And she's crazy.

This is speaking as the one who initially suggested kissing Mendel.

>>36173468
we got a pep talk and advice from her. Did you miss the thread?

>>36173461
that was more of a Heterosexual Life Partner thing, not a romantic thing

File: no peeking or else.png (2.94 MB, 2000x3000)

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“Well, this is a mostly expected end result.” You say.

“What do you mean?” Fake Mendel says.

“Just sort of saw this coming is all. You being a brain in a jar, screaming infinite darkness things at me while I stare confused.” You explain.

“Well, now what? Going to kill me?” She asks.

“No!” You say. “You and I are mates now! Forever! You are going to help me fix the universe, and we are going to have cheesecake after. New York style I think, I rather like that sort. How do we fix the errors?” You wonder.

“We create a paradox engine.” She explains. “We correct all errors on our planet, then use a paradox engine to keep our world safe despite the fact the universe may end. That seems one of the only ways unless you know God.” She says.

“Hold on, big G? Explain further.” You say.

“Well the universe should be able to heal and compensate.” She says through a machine translation voice thingy. “If it wished to it could fix all of the errors that have accumulated in the universe. Honestly they could fix it with little or no issue because it’s bloody God.” It says.

Huh. “We might actually know some blokes who can get an audience with that fellow.” You say.

“We are on a time table. The Time devourer is moving faster every moment.” She explains. “Also your fatebreakers are harmful, so you must refrain from using them. The Time devourer speeds up a little when you use them.”

Fuck that, they are my super powers.

[] Tell her you will just convince the G man to fix the errors. How hard can it be?
[] Fine. We will work together on the anti-fatebreaker thing
[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.
[] Let me think about it
[] Other, please specify

>>36173428
Jager doesn't seem to hate Mendel, though I agree with no more kissing.

>we hit bump limit because Anon is insecure over the wolfu.

Stop making me hate Jager because of your antics anons

>>36173507
>[] Fine. We will work together on the anti-fatebreaker thing
>[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.

>>36173507
"So how strict a time table are we talking?"

>>36173507
>We correct all errors on our planet
I really don't like the sound of that. Remember that Risa herself is an 'error'.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>36173507
>[] Fine. We will work together on the anti-fatebreaker thing
>[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.

>[]Tell her that Lucifer, the Rebel King of Hell said that the G-man fiddled with our parts.

>>36173507
>[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.
Must you even ask?

>>36173507
>[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.
> But.. arn't I an error? Will.. Will that kill me?

>>36173507
>Say, you wouldn't have, uh, heard from Akira how to fix this shit? Because he's sort of right now the prophet of the Time Lords and has a vested interest in making sure shit dies everywhere forever.

>>36173507
>"One time god decided to muck around with my soul parts to let me eat the soul king. Probably did it as a big Holy middle finger to Lucifer, but how hard could talking to the dude be?"

>>36173507
>[] Sniff her a little in an inappropriate way.
get a good feel for scent. yeah, that's it

>>36173507

> [] Other: "Mendel, it's great that you tell me not to use fate breakers, but do you mind giving me something to compensate? You've got plenty of things on lock down or know of the locations of plenty of stuff that I might be able to consume to balance out the loss. It costs you pretty much nothing."

I kind of want masochism in exchange for the no-fate breaker thing. The bitch found one and tamed it just to fuck with us, and I like the logical balance of being able to take an ass kicking and turn it around if we stop fucking with probability all the time.

>>36173507
>[x] Other, please specify
"Idea; how much would de-prophetizing Akira slow down the TD?"

>>36173507

I'll second this:

>>36173667

Or at least give us a solid hint on where to find something that might compensate for us not having one of our most potent abilities available to us.