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I appear to have fallen asleep at the wheel, lulled unconscious by the soothing sounds of heavy cannon fire and missile bombardment.
Wait excuse me
We're in the middle of combat, holy Spacepopes! Quickly men, battle strategies!

>>36090010

Keep the Medbay depowered while nobody needs healing. Use this power for your Engines when they're de-ioned. Only take engine power away when you need the medbay for your sick mates!

>>36090010
SIR. WE SHOULD SURRENDER SIR.

Barring that...um...FIRE ALL THE WEAPONS.

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>>36090299
Captain Hinderson supports this motion! We fire every weapon! Or, every weapon that we can, our artillery bay actually isn't powerful enough to handle three weapons yet.
Analyzing the enemy ship, they're clearly outmatched. Hinderson doesn't imput any specific system coordinates into the system; he just lets 'er rip.
They fall to pieces soon enough. Pirate scum should learn how to measure their partner in the ship-to-ship tango! And Hinderson once went on a tropically-themed cruise to BAHAMAS-V.

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>>36090401
Turning to the galactic map, Hinderson pnders where to jump to. The Rebel Fleet is close behind, but they appear to have been stalled by something. As long as we can get to the Exit before they do, it should be easy sailing; however, the call of exploration...calls!

>>36090435
East then north west. Try to max our salvage intake while we're still strong and the rebels are stalled.

>>36090509
this

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>>36090509
East? Northwest? What kind of navigational school did you go to, redshirt? There are no cardinal directions in space!
That being said, we head SpaceEast.

We arrive the middle of a junk field, all that remains of some age-old battle. We could probably strip the wrecks for scrap, but do we want to?

>>36090581
Do it

>>36090581
investigate

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We send the droids, R3D0 and C2P2, out to investigate. According to their loot-o-scopes, we've been wasting our time. Welp.
Where to next?

>>36090742
space northwest the not exit

>>36090742
the unexplored sector next to exit

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We jump to the sector closest to the exit, and wind up in a sector of entirely empty space. No lights, no ships, not even a planet. Why this jump beacon would be here at all is baffling. With nothing to do except sit around and watch some old Spacer movies while the engines charge, we head to the Long-Range Jump Gate.
This place seems to have been overtaken by Rebel sympathizers; they're receiving trade goods, food, and other various crap from a Rebel convoy. Should we act, or stay out of it?

>>36090925
steal from the civies, lower risk.

>>36090925
Our need is greater than theirs. Wait then rob peasants.

>>36090925
Maximum salvage. Time to murderhobo.

>>36090925
Attack the filthy rebel scum. Reap the rewards of salvage and heroism at the same time.

>>36090984
>heroism

It says the civilians are friendly to the rebels..

I think both options are bad.

>>36090984
Are we being heroes if these Rebel guys are dropping off food for them?

>>36091006
>>36091005
The civies are rebel scum too. Maximize heroism by Killing the rebels and stealing their supplies.

I did read it wrong, but I stand by my vote

>>36090925
>Masterbate to the screams of dying rebels!

>>36090968
>>36090980
I count two for murder the civvies,
>>36090982
>>36091065
Two that could really mean anything,
>>36090984
And one for attacking the rebel scum.
We need clear orders, men!

>>36091094
Murder the ship people, not civvies for >>36091065
sorry for being unclear.

>>36091094
Imma new poster see unique.

KILL EM ALL.

>>36091201
I meant civilians. Damn this phone.

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[Spoiler]I counted 3 for attack the civilians.[/spoiler]

We call up the planet. "Ey, see, this here's the... the tax collector. And we see you've been taking in some, ah..."
Dr. Mr. Derek walks past the viewscreen and blows a cigar towards the camera.
"Yeah, see, we're the taxmen, and you've been cavortin' with some low-brow tenants to this little apartment you've got running. Can see 'em over there now, jumping away in their little orange ship. No way a space radio is gonna get a signal for help to them faster than the speed of light, no sir."

"And, so you see, we have this new gun on our ship. A "Fire Beam." And, I've bet Mr. Nikolai over here that a beam made of fire won't work in space, but he really want's to try it out. We also need a little cash. Wanna work something out, or I might not be able to hold Nikolai over here back."
During this, Nikolai was standing in the door, and he turned off the lights. He probably looked appropriately spooky.
Their generous donation will be useful, probably. Stupid rebel colonists.

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We pull into the jump ring, and look to see where this place is linked up to. And... oh boy.
It only has one destination; a Rebel Stronghold system. Perhaps this is why these rebel civvies were on this side of the jump.
With nowhere else to go, we leap, and land deep in hostile territory. Radars are picking up numerous Rebel "Peacekeeper" bases, if we want to survive here, we'll need to be careful.
Where to first?

>>36091387
Shoe shopping.

>>36091387
store repair and refuel

>>36091387
Lets go to space K-mart.

>>36091387
Space-R-Us to buy more spaceslaves

>>36091387
I vote Short hop to the nearest sector before shopping but it looks like I'm already outvoted

>>36091387
Cap'n! We are low on space Tequila and it's almost Space Mexican Night! We need to refill fast or the Terrorists... I mean, Rebels win!

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We head to the GOOOOOD DEAAALS satellite, to spend our spacebucks.
The Droids take the liberty of buying some armor plating to patch the hull, and get some Freeze-Dried Mojitos. They didn't have any Space Tequila, but these'll do.
But, what else should we grab?

>>36091512
Do we have anything to sell?

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We also have currently-unused parts in the storage bay; a Stun Bomber, worth 22 bucks, and a Defence[sic] Drone, 35.

>>36091512
Mind Control!!! Show those rebel scum the error of their ways. Then make them murder their friends.

Also helpful with stoping your own crew from murderhoboing, well, your own crew.

>>36091512
Sell stun bomb, buy Charge laser || and some fuel

>>36091512
Buy the flak gun, that shit is hilarious. Oh man, any of you guys ever have a ship that's all flak? Good times.

>>36091566
Do it with flak gun ii's on the c version of the osprey

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This is your Cap'n speaking, and this is actually only my... sixth? I think my sixth ship. What does the Flak gun do, exactly?

>>36091512
Sell stun and Def drone and grab some flak.

>>36091566
Quad flak is hilarious.

I remember a time I had max skill gunner and 3 faster reload upgrades. Tore through the flagship in less than a minute.

Think "Shield Deflowering Space Shotgun"

>>36091672
Very fast reload 3 shot shotgun. Tears through shields like crazy. Shots scatter in small area so some inaccuracy against small ships like auto drones . Either best or second best gun in game.

>>36091672
It's bad, don't worry about it. Sell it for scrap next chance you can.

It shoots a large number of shitty projectiles, the goal being to break through dense shields, but rapid fire is better for that, or missiles.

>>36091672
what >>36091707 said

>>36091672
>>36091707
This

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>>36091707
There is nothing about that sentence that doesn't get Captain Hinderson rock hard.

>>36091745
I'm sorry, forgot to ask. Anything else, or are we ready to self-checkout? I hear fuel is on the Blue-Light special. So it'll probably be shity fuel, but it's cheap.

>>36091763
buy 2 hits of fuel.

>>36091745
We can't afford it now but Hacking is fucking fantastic if we ever get the chance.

>>36091763
All the fuel. Better than being sober.

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Grabbing two cans of gas and some orange spraypaint (For painting "REBELS ROCK" on our ship as necessary), we decide to head off. But where to?
We can also do some last-minute shopping and upgrades if that's your thing.

>>36091873
really? I was never a big fan of it? why do you like it?

>>36091883
Space East!

>>36091885
Spot removal for any problem feature that is killing you. Or worst case scenario, it can help you get through shields. It's a great defensive tool that CAN be used offensively in a pinch.

>>36091883
Space East Ho!

>>36091883
Space Northeast and then to the Core of this rebel galaxy cause Cap'n aint afreered of nothin!

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We blow out the rest of their fuel reserves, and then, head SpaceEastward!
And we're presented with a... familiar... situation.

>>36091967
Kill the ship

>>36091967
One the one hand: Fuck 'em, you're winnin' this game.
On the other hand: The above option is as low moral as you can get. Someone helps the civies, you don't dick with them.

Leave 'em be and mosey on.

>>36091967
Attack the rebels, this captain needs to jerk off

>>36091967
Tax dodgers! Tax dodgers everywhere!

>>36091967
We be privateers.

Kill that rebel ship.

>>36091885
Try slapping it on enemy Medbay.

>>36091967
Attack the rebels. You got a new flak gun to break in.

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Three for sinking rebels!

We holler over comms "Don't worry, we'll throw some bread at you from orbit! Toast rain!" as we move to engage this entirely friendly Rebel ship on a mission of good samaritan-ship.

Attack strategies, men?

>>36092109
Disable their launcher first

>>36092109
Flak on the shields, then hull laser that non system room. combat droid active!

>>36092109
EMP the shields, destroy the guns station, in that order.

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>>36092109
FIRE EVERYTHING!

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As we utterly tear apart the enemy ship with our SPACE SHOTGUN HOLY SHIT, we receive a hail from the planet. "Hey, yo, they already dropped off the bread. Oh god this is some good bread it has cheese on it and everything oh wow~CLICK"

Dr. Mr. Derek hungers for cheese toast.

>>36092238
SECONDED BECAUSE SHEAR ENTHUSIASM!

>>36092290
Leave em be their bread has MSG in it.

>>36092290
Bread Tax? Bread Tax.

>>36092290
leave them, they always booby trap it.

>>36092290
Fuck Derek. He stole my sandwich back at base!

>>36092290
>SPACE SHOTGUN HOLY SHIT
I told you about that flak gun brah, I told you maaaaan.

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Eh, fuck Derek. He was hired as a prostitute, and he's going to pleasure his captain by engaging on more life-on-the-line firefights. Because that's what Hinderson gets down to.
We receive a fax!

Hello stop
We have urgent need of your assistance stop
Totally not a trap stop
Signed stop
Not A Rebel Base stop

>>36092395
SEEMS LEGIT

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>>36092395
Adventuuuure!!!

>>36092395
GET IT!

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We arrive at the beacon, all weapons armed, all battle stations manned, as we walk into this obvious trap.
Except it's... not?
There's not a rebel hiding behind your ship? No? Just us?
Hinderson doesn't even know what to think anymore. I mean, it was a trap. It was supposed to be a trap.

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>>36092485
>Hinderson's face when its not a trap.

Welp, the can tag along, so long as their destination ain't back the way we came.

>>36092485
Lead them one, there could still be a trap waiting for us at the destination!

>>36092485
lead um!

>>36092485
It's gonna to be a trap.

>>36092485
Guess we'll save these assholes

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We assure them that we'll lead them to their preferred Spaceroadside Assistance Garage.
Then they tell them it's all the way across the galaxy what the heeelll

No! I get it! It's a trap in that you're leading us way to the edge of the chart, so we have to come back, and then get killed by the Fleet!
Right?
That's the trap, right?

>>36092553
SpaceNorthEast!

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>>36092553
Odds are. Lead the way, Cap'n!

>>36092553
Beeline for it!

>>36092553
CHECK THE QUEST POINT.

If it's a dead end then fuck it.

>>36092553
These "quests" usually have a good reward at the end. Do it if you can.

>>36092553
If we can't get them there spacesafely then spacefuck it. We're not spacerisking our spacenecks for these spaceassholes

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Throwing caution to the wind, we start a B-line for the quest!

If it's alright with you guys I"ll just do that as the move actions from now on until we arrive.

We jump to the next beacon, which is embarrassingly close by, and find a rebel Autoscout! Time to kill, but how?

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>>36092645

>>36092645
ALL THE FLAK

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Hinderson dubs the Flak Cannon the "Babyfaced Easymodo Fungun." He sends the Droids out to go engrave it on the side.
Next jump!

>>36092726
Captain Hinderson, permission to launch confetti and pinatas out of the flak gun?

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We warp in, and find a Rebel ship chasing a Federation troop transport! They must be as suicidally idiotic as us to try and bring troops through a heavily-occupied Rebel zone!
Hinderson can respect that!
But do we help them?

>>36092741
We're saving those for the Space Mojitos and Space Mexican Night, sorry sir!

>>36092749
KILL THE REBEL SCUM

>>36092749
Course we do. What kind of sci-fi B-movie heroes would we be otherwise?

>>36092749
Do you even need to ask? Kill all commies!

>>36092749
Purge them from the sky!

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Hinderson grabs his SpaceMegaphone.
"Pull over! This is Federation jurisdiction, and you';re out of line, way out of line! I'll have your badge for this, Officer Rebels! If that ship is speeding, I'll take care of it. And speaking of speeding, do you have ANY idea how many times the speed of light you were going! You were traveling at unsafe speeds for a Spaceofficer!"

The best part of any battle is the psychological warfare. Because when you confuse them, then you can sneak up and blow them to hell!
But /how/ do we blow them to hell?

>>36092851
shotgun+ion to weapons+droid

>>36092851
Shotgun the shields, then gun down his guns. Rinse and repeat until hilarity ensues.

>>36092851
>Captain Hinderson, the crew recommends these options.
>>36092876
>>36092913
>It would be wise to follow these suggested directives, in my humble opinion.

>>36092851
Target the shields first.

That's a one shot laser and we have two shield. Drones and Laser are not effective against us. Main problem is 3 shield so we need to get that and then the missile launcher.

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Oh boy oh boy oh boy
They have some kind of double-powered missile and a very high dodge chance

>>36092954
THE SHIELD HIT THEIR SHIELDS!

And turn off our combat drone! It's just fodder against their antidrone.

Pull Derek off the cameras and slap him on engines for max dodge. One power to medbay to keep everyone healed passively.

>>36092954
Target the pilot seat

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With a lucky blast from the Easymodo, they're ripped to shreds! We hasten to contact these speeding perps.

>>36092982
>>36092991
>Both of these options seem logical, captain. Might I suggest using the Halberd Beam at your earliest convenience, once their shields are down? It would certainly make for an easier battle.

>>36093042
>Halberd Beam.

We better check your visual functions droid, something ain't right with you.

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We call them, and they thank us generously for helping them out! They even give us a Shield recharge booster, which
Ah
Hold on, let me read the Manuel.
"Does make shield do strong more better."
I suppose that's useful.
Also, something sticks out in their little thank-you speech.
>They seem to be looking for something
Well if that isn't the best excuse I've ever heard to trawl the entire damn sector for whatever they're looking for. But, quests! Next jump!
>>36093042
Knew we shouldn't have bought the Blue-light droids.

>>36093068
>Oh, bother. For whatever reason, I read 'Hull Laser' as 'Halberd Beam'. My sincerest apologies.

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Nikolai takes a moment to count the stocks, and hot damn are we rich. Upgrades?

>>36093131
Hmm...

2 levels to the engines and 2 more power.

>>36093131
2 weapons and reactor if we can swing it

>>36093131
HEY

CAPTAIN

IT'S ME, THE LANIUS GOD DUDE

LISTEN I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A JOB

AND MY FOLLOWERS ARE LEAVING ME

CAN YOU TAKE ME BACK?

>>36093166
>This option seems most pressing in necessity. Full power to all weapons, captain! Let us run on all cylinders, as they say!

>>36093166
Too much gun is bad because it's too expensive. Ship needs to be balanced.

>>36093225
Quit being a pussy!

>>36093131
Doors. Always doors

>>36093243
I don't think we can afford it anyway.

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>>36093243
>>36093225
This is how it's been for every thread. I support more gun.

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Aww.

>>36093266
this makes me chuckle more then it should.
Also Op, thanks for running this! I find my self playing FTL again when I haven't touched this game in a while because of You and I'm having a blast! now if only I understood how to install mods.

>>36093289
ENGINES MAN we need that SWEET SWEET DODGE CHANCE

>>36093289
The doors capn! If they can't get through we can space any invaders

>Powering all weapons would require 75+90 scrap...or was it 100? It has been a length of time since my last stint on an FTL-capable ship, I fear. Either way, the high-balled total would amount to 175, at the most. Affordable, if not risky.

>>36093211
>Oh, rusted bolts, I tight I deactivated that transceiver.

>>36093266
More gun is more gun.

>>36093289
Fine, More Engine power.

>>36093289
>Captain, forgo adding engine power, for now.

>>36093289
CAPTAIN

CAPTAIN I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME

CAPTAIN GIVE ME MY JOB BACK

COME ON MAN

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We actually have two power just sitting around to be used on the Drone. But if we have THREE GUN, who needs drones?

>>36093361
Ain't no spooks on my poopdeck. Now git!

>>36093367
>More gun is more gun.

>>36093367
three gun is best gun

>>36093367
GUNS GUNS GUNS!

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We pour all our money into guns! All of it! And jump!
We receive a Federation signal. It's actually just The Macaranea on a loop, but that's interesting enough.

>>36093439
>I volunteer to silence the transmission, captain. I was always a fan of the more popular hit, Mambo Number Five.

>>36093367
> implying you could have too much daka

>>36093439
It couldn't possibly be a trap! not in rebel space!

>>36093439
Fphblohdlf macarena
Hrghdrfrrrdr casa buena
Fphblohdlf macarena
AAAAY MACARENA
Lets check it out

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>>36093486
Dr. Mr. Derek performs his rendition of The Macarena.

We investigate! And, inexplicably, we find a Federation base, cleverly hidden underneath a harmless-looking missile silo! They tell us they need bread to live, and that we need to get it for them! So, we get another quest! Woo!

>>36093521
what the fuck is up with all these not-traps it's disconcerting as spacefuck

>>36093521
Why are there so many federation loyalists in rebel space? Something isn't quite right here....

>>36093521
>I agree to deliver bread on the single condition that Mambo Number Five is broadcasted, instead of the Macarena.

>A rendition of any Scatman John song is also acceptable.

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Hinderson isn't even mad about this not being a trap.
He's mad that these guys can't even make one jump to get some Spacebread.
Eh, whatever, we'll swing by on the way back down. Next jump!
>>36093545
We get them to agree to broadcast Scatman. When encoded in the Standard Galactic Federation Sonic Encoding Encoder, is sounds almost exactly like The Macarena. But shit.

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Oh, Hinderson can feel it. He can feel it, burning in his heart. The passion of the Trap. He's been waiting to say The Line all day, and it's finally come! The time of traps has come! Now, do we take the bait on this trap?

>>36093572
Go to the far quest first, pick up the new quest on the way back

>>36093597
~~~~DO IT~~~~

>>36093572
>If time allows, swing up to the top right quest, then go back down bottom-right. If not, simply complete the bottom right quest.

>>36093597
Take the bait, itll be sooo worth it. Also I don't think its a trap.

>>36093597
No deal. Need that fuel and drones.

Check on map please. Can we get to the north quest reasonably?

>>36093597
>That sounds perfectly - wait, are they asking for THREE space juice?
>REFUSE.

>>36093597
Accept. That's a significant chunk of fuel, but it's worth the price if we find a shop soon.

>>36093638
>>36093645
guys we have plenty of spcae juice!

>>36093681
Eleven is plenty? Please.

>>36093674
I think its more expensive.

3x3 fuel, 2x6 missile and 2x8 drone?

>>36093702
we don't even use missiles

>>36093712
In that case we break even.

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It wasn't a trap. They just take our stuff and make our reactor better.
Oh well, maybe the quest end is a trap!

Nope, not a trap either. Actually a nuclear power plant. Also upgrade our reactor. C2D2 tries to cheer Hinderson up, with things like "Now we can power the drone AND our guns!" but he just feels like he's in a slump.
I mean, in that first sector? Traps out the wazoo. Space pirate traps, Rebel traps, Cultist traps... traps everywhere. And now what, is he too good for traps? Or is there just nobody left who cares to trap him?

>>36093738
>Stop my Space Bangcock, I sure we can find him a trap!

>>36093738
We have too much gun.

Its lonely at the top.

>>36093763
>Too much gun
>>36093266
>>36093266
>>36093266

>>36093597
DO IT DO IT DO IT OD IT OD TI DO TIDO TIDOTODIIT

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We head down to the lower Quest marker, to pick up some Spacebread for the Federation outpost.
This isn't a trap either.

>>36093781
I need a picture of Saitama right now. Damn this phone.

>>36093802
Things are going suspiciously well for the good ship Crutch4

>>36093802
Could we set up a trap for ourselves? Is that possible?

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>>36093802
We could always... make our own trap.

>>36093802
Uh...so...I know that in video games this is normally a set up for either a boss fight or a very challenging area of the game. So warm up your phasers and your ragers, it's about to get Fun.

>>36093832
Thats a double trap captain.

We have FIVE FUEL. We will run out by just leaving this sector.

>>36093832
Not worth it. The fuel consumed getting there, back, and into the next sector would cost too much. What if the store is more than 2 jumps away?

>>36093832
...do it.

>>36093832
no
pls no

>>36093832

GO FOR IT!

>>36093832
As Pat would say,

DO IT YOU WIMP

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>36093868
>>36093886
>>36093895
There's a difference between crazy and foolhardy!
I say the Dice Gods decide. Evens, you throw caution to the winds and go. Odds, you jump out of sector.

>>36093910
if you're going to vote, be sure to link it to Op's post. It'd be a shame if he misses it.

>>36093910
>>36093832
THE DICE GODS HAVE SPOKEN!

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>>36093910
IT'S IN THE HANDS OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER NOW

We jump! The entire fleet isn't here yet, but a... a Research station? Huh.
And a pulsar star! The electromagnetic vertebrae of the ship start to fluctuate their polarity wildly, it's going to be wild! Orders, crew?!

>>36093936
FIRE ALL WEAPONS!

>>36093936
Aw man burst 2.

Hit their weps. Pulsar will keep their drones down.

>>36093936
OPEN FIRE!

>>36093936
Have the crew issue a mighty warcry and then fire all weapons!

By the way, who /ftlg/ here?

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We open comms.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Comms closed.
We fire wildly and indescriminately, shrapnel, EMP-blasts and energy bolts flying wildly in all directions! Recognizing they're facing angered madmen, they wisely try to appease us.

>>36094003
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!

>>36094003
>No fuel.

Kill them.

>>36094003
I see nothing we need in their. Their destruction would surely yield more scrap, Captain.

>>36094003
They're about to go belly up. Take it from their cold dead hands.

>>36094003
It's time to sow the spaceground with their spacecorpses

>>36093990
I normally play when this guy runs. in fact I just unlocked engi type C tonight.

>>36094035
>spaceground

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>>36094047
What else do you park your Spaceship on?

Also they're totally dead. Having constructed his own trap, Hinderson is sated. For now. He still didn't get to say The Line.

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Hinderson sweats a single drop.

>>36094079
So we traded three missiles for five scrap. Good trade, I guess.

>>36094103
not like we can go anywhere else.

>>36094103
To ze exit, mein freund

>>36094079
You don't park a spaceship. You dock it, in a dock.

>>36094103
well, spaceshit. You all did this to your spaceselves, you absolute spacemadmen

>>36094103
Hey, Hinderson. Betcha can't make it half-way through the next sector, in or out, without blowing up a ship.

>>36094132
*spacedock
FTFY

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We warp, right into the middle of the Rebel batallion! One of their prizefighter Fighters steps in to challenge us personally, as their larger cruisers train their Big Damn Anti-Ship Gun on us!

Obviously the tactic here is to just try and hold out until we can Run advance backwards, but how should we go about doing that?

>>36094174
Disable guns, destroy ship if we can for that extra 1 space juice but run ASAP.

>>36094174
explode everything into the cockpit

>>36094174
Focus everything on guns! We just need to survive this.

>>36094174
I see no cloning room on that ship. TARGET THE CREW! EVERY MAN DOWN IS ONE MAN CLOSER TO A NON-FUNCTIONING SHIP!

>>36094174
I wonder if any of those cruisers are hot-shot enough to shoot through the big whole in our center.

>>36094174
YO OP, You got a twitter I can Follow?

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>>36094210
Nope!

I can't believe it.

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>>36094240
I DON'T BELIEVE IT FOLKS

CAAAAAN YOOOOOOOU DIG IIIIITTTT

>>36094240
would you make one? I'd hate to miss these threads

>>36094252
Shucks cap'n, I suppose there's only one golly darn thing to do, isn't there?

PULVERIZE THEM!!! Politely.

>>36094240
we should remember to get more spacecreatures to monitor the spacedoors one of these spacedays

welp, about to passout, Goodnight Cap'n.
Twitter pls

>>36094252
Yay one fuel.

Jump asap. That ASB will keep shooting till we leave.

>>36094252
Make the last thing they see be a high resolution image of your glorious space-ass. Then hit them with everything and get the fuck outta there.

>>36094291
>high resolution image
These things no longer exist in the space age, FOOL! What the captain should do is beam them an elegant 3D rendering of his glorious space-ass. Before beaming them laser-hot death, of course.

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We hail the rapidly-dissolving ship. The viewscreen shows the bridge in flaming chaos; the captain barely holding his crew from mutiny. "What do you want, you bastard?!" He hollers into the mic. "Whatever you have to say, say it! And know that I, a man, may die, but the Rebellion lives on!"
"I don't have anything to say at all. As we prepared, everyone."
Slowly, all hands on ship marched into the bridge, standing side-by-side. As one, they turned, and bent over. A man's ass, a slug's ass, multiple robotic asses, all were on fine display to the captain of the Rebel fighter and his crew, and any and all Rebels watching the fight.
It's disputed to this day as to whether there was a final blow from the Crutch4, or if the Rebel captain hit the self-destruct.

That's all tonight, everyone! Thank you for playing. I run these at 10PM est, but the day varies. See you next time, on: THE ADVENTURES OF THE SKYSHIP CRUTCH4


Someone please archive this for me, I'm tired
I also expect to see at least five pieces of fanart by next time I run, which could be as soon as tomorrow
I also demand someone think of a better name than THE ADVENTURES OF THE SKYSHIP CRUTCH4
I also want a spacecake

>>36094356
Homeworlds! Religious fanatics ahoy!

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>>36094356
here you go cap'n!

>>36094356
THE SPACE-ADVENTURES OF THE SPACE-SKYSHIP CRUTCH4
Alternatively:
SPACE CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
And I still challenge Hinderson to halfway through the next sector, in or out, without actually destroying any ships. He needs a handicap, after all.

>>36094356
Thread archived.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36090000/

So, is that good? Are my archiving efforts to your liking?

I just got the game, where can I learn to get good at it? Any good site for tips n' tricks? Or do I just need luck to win?

>>36097186
Looking at steam guides is good, but you mostly get good through experience. A small amount of luck is useful, but once you know what you're doing everything goes smoothly. or as smoothly as it can get in a rouge-like.

>>36097186
if you end up watching vanguad of valor's let's plays you'll end up knowing a lot of the stuff you need to be a decent player, however many of the game's contents and even mods' contents will be spoilered.

I only have one advice, remember you can pause the battle at any time, and issue commands while it's paused.
Also you get more rewards for killing the ship's crew rather than blowing it up.

And yes, flak is easy modo gun

Say, whatever happened to that FTL playthrough with the Jehovah's Witness ship?

>>36097280
>>36097448
thanks guys!