>mfw a guy in my game plays a dual-wielding drow ranger
>>36022362I never got this. I get he's a famous character, but it would be far more interesting to do an entire Drow party consisting of more typical Drow. Imagine actually using what the Drow are, and creating a quest with that in mind, and encouraging a party of Drow (or properly aligned) characters.I never got the need to have "the good drow" when a party of actual Drow could open you up to so much more interesting concepts, encounters and dialogues.
>mfw the fighter gets excited levelling up
>>36022431A party of Drow as they actually are is just a party full of That Guys, magical realm, and caster supremacy.
>mfw when a player applies with a loli concept
>>36022362Force him to play the character with a funny accent. Or flamboyantly gay. Or with a ghostly third arm that you control.
>>36022572lolwith a lisp would be hilarioushave him be hit in the face early on causing permanent speech impediment and -5 to all conversational skill checks
>>36022362I've heard about these, but have never actually seen one. Is this an endangered species, or merely a cryptid?
>>36022553I would have expected an all-drow party to be composed of hipsters. I mean, they're all underground, right?
>>36022572Now that's just dumb as fuck.>>36022362OP, there is no problem until you MAKE it a problem or we tell you it's a problem.Tell us more about his character. Background, feats, etc.
>>36022812>Playing a drizzt clone>Nothing wrong>MFWHe's playing a dual wielding ranger, what do you think his feats are anon?
>>36022431>>36022553Yeah, you really don't want that party. Drow are huge assholes, for one. To everyone else, to each other. And they're all tormented by their society and sexually fucked-up.I've got no problem with Drow refugees. Good, neutral, or even evil, coming to the surface and getting the fuck away from all the other drow is just a sensible thing to do.I would play them as stereotypical Eastern European immigrants.>"In the deep country, every Thursday spider-bath day. Matron come to barracks, pick one male, throw in spider hole. Must smile and say is great honor! If not happy for spider hole, much torture.">"Surface world much better! Thursday ladies night at tavern, and not even whipped for disobey ladies!"
>>36022801I've always thought of Drow males being more like Goths.>"God, everything is pointless. Whats even the point.">"I was born with a penis, so life is basically pointless.">"All the female conformists worshipping Lolth, ugh!"
>>36022864>"Unless you want to be of course!">[raucous laughter]
>>36022864>"Back in deep country, the eating of the spider legs was not seen as so strange. Why are you giving me the look of disgust?!"
>>36022864I really want to play a drow like this now
>>36022923>Hey, cousin Niko! You want look at big surface-worlder titties?
>>36022864>"I am write letter to my brother, Gri'gori, tell him of wonderful surface. I tell him, Gri'gori, I have my own room, no share! He write back, V'toly, am so sorry you in solitary confinement, how you anger surface-matron for this happen? I tell him, is OK, Gri'gori, no is prison, I can leave whenever I want! He write, V'toly, no, do not kill self, is not freedom, afterlife even more full of spider."
>>36022986>be drow refugee>be visit glorious surface realm>realize no have subterranean potato>such is life
>>36022864I'm imagining Drow Rolf now. Drolf. Rolf's vaguely Eastern European, right?>You dare impugn the honor of the son of a spider-shepherd, Loose Pants Ed-Bard? In the Old Country, Drolf would have slapped you with a trout for such transgressions!
>>36022864>play a drow like this>people assume he's reformed when they see he's not gung-ho about underdark culture>abuse trust because still evilWelp, found my next character.
>Back in deep country, woman had game involving men, sharp objects, a bit of magic and a few leather belts. I don't know how game goes, but we always came back with a few new scars and sometimes a few missing things...>I miss my left kidney...
>>36022864>Back in deep country I was a, how you say, sex-pet for priestess of Lloth.>We used to play game called 'torture Grigori because its Tuesday'>Tuesday was bad day>On surface world Grigori is adventurer! >Grigori has found a female who doesn't beat him too much, she is something called a 'pala'din' >Pala'din say Grigori have good heart and didn't even try to cut it out for her god!>Grigori is happy with new life
>Here in surface country, is strange to me.>Is clearly that Wizard here is most powerful, like Female in the deep place of my home.>Wizard is not smiting peasantry and menial strongness-user when she is walk by>Wizard is not burning with acid arrow for un-bowing>Wizard is not transmute blood of W'La'dymr into spider for look in eye.>I am telling you, brother-cousin, you must coming to here. Even when in position of power, Female is not always to using whip or chain.>She is not even always carry knife!>I am always carry knife.>We can stabbing into the female.>I have met Wizard who understanding my angry and my jealous.>He is saying to me, W'la'dymr, bring to me the female who is stab down spine-cord, but have skin otherwise not slash or cut.>He is saying he turning dead female into matron-costume, as soft as silks of spider who is not wanting to kill you.>We can be the Matrons, brother-cousin.>WE can having the bosom and the whip and do the shoutings.
Well, if I were to make a Drow, I'd keep him an asshole. Left the Underdark because of bullshit involving a priestess spreading shit about him because he was getting more power within the community and she wanted him gone or dead. Decided he wants to fuck off and see if there's something better to do up above.Becomes sell sword with attitude, but undeniable skill and talent. Meets party. Still an asshole. As the party get to fight and survive together, Drow is less and less of an asshole until tolerable.
>>36023194I can't help but d'awww
>>36022864I smell great things
>>36022970>Ni'Ko! Let's go bowling!>No Ni'Ko your dick is not bowling pin this time, surface bowling rules different, much less painful
>V'toly, no, do not kill self, is not freedom, afterlife even more full of spider.Such is life in deep country
>>36023254>Hello cousin, surface world is strange place!>Pala'din worshipper of god called T'yr, Grigori not like sound of this god. Is man who has been blinded and had hand cut off!>'Pala'din say Grigori not need to worry about that, pala'din say she not cut off my hands or burn out my eyes>She is good mistress, Grigori work extra hard for her!>Grigori apparently something called a 'bard' now. In deep country males learn magic and develop quick fingers to please mistress and avoid becoming spider dinner, learn to talk quickly so mistress forget why she is mad. >On surface Grigori uses magic from deep country and quick fingers to defend mistress and earn coin for her.>Grigori has plan cousin, he will sing songs from the old country for pala'din to sooth her after long day travelling
>>36023018>slapped you with a trout>not a spiderYou lose, sir.
>War is when the young and male are tricked by the old and arachnid into killing each other
>>36022362I'm in an ongoing 5e campaign with a friend of mine.He took the Charlatan background. He's a con man who's marauding across the countryside pretending to be Drizzt Do'Urdan, and being a melodramatic asshole as a parody of the cliche.It was all fun and games until the REAL Drizzt showed up.
>>36024066Now THAT'S bullshit. Dragonlance is its own thing. We're you playing Dragonlance setting?
>>36024247There's this cool thing called "it's fucking made-up", where it's fucking made-up, and you don't have to sperg about whether things come from different settings, as long as your group is having fun.
>>36024247Oh, no--it's all Forgotten Realms.And we *really* should have seen the trouble coming. He loudly announced that he was *the* Drizzt every place we went, dabbled in organized crime--and my Cleric of Knowledge, in his devotion to Oghma and Deneir, would catalog "Drizzt's" real and imagined adventures and pepper them about the Sword Coast.It was a good call by the DM to turn that into a big event. It's actually his first time DMing, too, after only having played a tabletop RPG with the group for the first time during the playtest. He's taken to it all like a duck to water and surprised the whole group.It's pretty damn cool.
/tg/ Until this day I had not ever considered playing a Drow. I now have my next character. Thank you, thank you all you glorious bastards.
>>36024066>>36024247>>36024572Isn't the default 5e setting Forgotten Realms now, anyways?
>>36022850dual wielding drow ranger is not enough for drizzt clonehood anonbut yes his feats will be pretty fucking obvious
and with this I now want to play a drow sniper.V'Sili Zai'Sev has now been born, time will tell whether he is a hunter of renegades or one himself.
>>36025500Starts off tracking them down, but then his uncommon (for a drow, at least) curiosity gets the better of him. Takes a bite from the figurative apple, realizes he likes the taste.Sort of like Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451.
>>36022362>mfw a guy in my game plays a LG paladin
>>36025947I play a LG paladin. Fellow players don't make it easy, but I think that's half of the reward. I actually have a character with principles to stick to whilst they flop around jerking it and murdering things. Cleaning up their fuckups with GLORIOUS HONOUR DUELS is kinda my thing.
>>36023614I demand more Letters From Grigori
>>36026531>>36026574What happens when Grigori meets Sandwhich?
>>36026531It's Gri'gori, surfacer.
>Hello again Cousin! The surface country is even stranger than I could have imagined>I found myself among a group of human females in surface tavern>I do my best to please and entertain them, when suddenly one jump up and start scream, I cannot imagine what I have done to offend, and soon the rest all join her!>Leaping about and screaming pointing at small arachnid crawling on the table>Is tiny, barely the size of my hand!>I assume spider is rare, and females leap about in great excitement! >So I scoop up tiny spider with both hands and offer to ladies, hoping to please them>But screams just increase! They shout "kill it! Kill it!">Is trap I think! Why female want kill arachnid?>Not willing to risk retribution for killing arachnid, I take outside and release into surface "bush">This just make surface female angry! They say "Will just come back inside.">It only take playing lute all day till fingers bleed for surface female forgive me!>Not even a single whipping! >Surface is a wonderful place cousin
>>36022864>I've got no problem with Drow refugees. Good, neutral, or even evil, coming to the surface and getting the fuck away from all the other drow is just a sensible thing to do.The biggest problem with the Drow is what comes after them: Loth. Loth isn't simply evil, she's psychotic- like a stalker ex-girlfriend that butchers your parents and feeds them to you so you will come back to her. Once you are hers, you are hers forever. If you have any doubts as one of her clergy, she turns you into a Drider so you can never escape her.So what does that mean? Edgy "good drow" PCs get Drow raiding parties sent after them to drag them down to the under-dark and sacrificed to the spider goddess. Its not a matter of efficiency or reason, its just the utter insanity of the spider goddess that makes drow society the cluster-fuck back-stab-fest that it is.
>>36022864my god thats it....Soviet Drowit would be perfect!
>>36025997eh my characters Chaotic Neutral and he still has a moral code - dont kill anything thats obviously good, if theyre neutral, leave them aloneif theyre slightly evil kill itif theyre pure evil, holy shit iron maiden run to the hills
>>36026531>Cousin is has been some time since I last wrote.>Grigori tried to sing for the pala'din but apparently the songs of our people do not please her.>Was prepared for lousy Tuesday after that.>But was alright, pala'din made me take the entire nights watch instead of beating me, she is a good female!>We journeyed to surfacer town, much different from towns of the deep country cousin.>Pala'din tell Grigori that in town I will have to wear shackles, I tell her no problem and ask if already Thursday.>Pala'din was confused by still I am shackled, is not so bad though surface females don't publicly beat males for looking them in the eye or transmute you into spider monster for fun. It took some time for Grigori to learn this but pala'din says I am 'doing well for one of my kind.' >I am liking surface females because of this kindness cousin! > Apparently we travel to shrine of T'yr to seek guidance, Grigori ask why seek guidance from blind god? Pala'din punish me that will not ask again.>How are things in the deep country? I hope that mother has forgotten you exist!>Grigori is trying to learn surface songs to please mistress, will write again soon.
>>36028267I'm unclear on why the paladin doesn't like his songs. Anyone able to clarify?
I remember the last time a drow was in one of my games I played an orc who was so retarded he thought it was a gnome
>>36028308Think about what the subject matter of drow songs would likely be, it's probably all 'murder the surface scum and offer their hearts to the spider queen' or 'when black hearted matron malice murdered house madere' so a paladin wouldn't find them very pleasant.
I want to play a redneck drow.>Howdy pardner, you prayed to Lolth yet today?>Bow howdy, we ain't got nothin' like that down below, I tell you what!>Woowee, I ain't seen a spider that small since my aunt Beshdoberaz forgot to praise Lolth!>Well shoot, why's that drider-lookin' thing only got four legs and fur?
>tfw unintentionally made a drizzt clone>but femaleI hate myself.
>>36023063>Not the right one though.>I am not feeling too well...
Immigrant Drow will never cease to amuse me.>Dear Cousin D'mit'ri,>I find other Drow on surface yesterday. It was woman.>She come up to me, speak khommon and not Drow, and hold out her hand.>I bow and kiss it as is the custom, she sigh at me. I figure HOH BOY IT SPIDER TIME, but she just hit me on shoulder so lightly it doesn't hurt a few times, and say to me "It will get easier, I promise.">I am thinking on what she said and is true, living under wrathful fire-eye called SUN not so bad anymore.>Yours, D'ennis
>>36028267>Gri'gori, is me, cousin V'toly>You tell me many wonderful thing of surface, I must see for myself>I think at first is no worse, maybe little better. Less spider, more child throw rock, more confuse.>I am lying on roof of building, look at ceiling-diamonds far above, think of dig potato from ceiling back in deep country, when I hear voice below>Look down, see two man talking to small person. Is half-ling.>Is half-ling matron!>Two man being very rude! Matron say "stop," they grab shoulder of her dress and pull down!>They touch her, Gri'gori!>I panic! I not want skinned and made into chair cushion for be near this! I not believe my eyes!>I hiss "What are you doing?">Two men look around, not see me. I jump down, throw back hood, try explain: "You will die in many screams!">They run away! Now I am alone with angry small matron! I bow deep, give many apology, hope end be fast.>She say I walk with her home, say she is Amy Sunfield.>I walk with her. She shaking with anger, I speak fast and sweet to try to make calm. Tell her of journey to surface, of sleep on roof and alley.>She say I come with her to temple.>Much afraid, cousin. Weep inside. Say "Is great honor.">We come Temple. Strange, frightening, mighty goddess Yondalla.>She talk to priestess, say I stay here now.>I not think I live long now, cousin. They feed me much surface food, you think I am for to eat? Or they turn my legs into wheat, make me guard temple?>Miss Sunfield come to me often. I try please her, make poem of her power and beauty, give her small flower and mushroom.>Hear priestess say she think she hear wedding bells not far. She laugh. I think now I am to be half-ling wedding feast. I bid you farewell, cousin, and I will see you in the spider-filled land that is after this life.
>>36028803I literally cannot stop fucking laughingMy maternal family is all Czech immigrants and this is some funny-ass shit.Best drow interpretation ever
op herethreads like this are why i fucking love /tg/
This thread is great. What would a female Drow escapee / eastern immigrant be like?
God damnit /tg/, this is why I love you
>>36028966Probably very disappointed that society no longer caters to her?
>>36028966Like a trust fund rich girl who gets cut off.
God damn... Drow Bard it is for my next game.
>>36028966>Dear Dru'silla,>Is me, cousin Da'ria. Surface world is not so bad as stories say. Yesterday, in a bar a man made a lewd face at me and tried to touch my bottom.>When I take fingertips with night-dagger, he scream much better than Drow men, much longer, much profanity. His friends laugh with me at his suffering. Whole bar laugh.>A bar is drinking house with alcohol and sometimes peanuts. I was told to not eat peanuts. Maybe they are trap.>I stomp on spider all day and no one care.>Men here not so whip cringing. Women here not so chain crazy. You not believe this, but sisters on sunside expected to love and care for other sisters, not form political alliance with cousin for mutual benefit and treachery. >Brothers still idiots. Some things universal.>Yours, Da'ria.
>>36028803>V'toly do not lose hope cousin surface mistresses are strange and do not always do what I expect.>We left the surface town and started our journey to the shrine of T'yr.>Pala'din tell me her name, she is Charlotte it is strange name but I say nothing.>She has unshackled me now that we are no longer in the surface town and Gri'gori expected her to demand his evening services to relieve the stress of travel>I do not know what I have do to displease Charlotte but she has bought me my own tent tells me to sleep in it. Mistress does not wish my presence in the evenings and I fear that I am not physically pleasing to her.>After many weeks travel we arrive at shrine to blinded man god>We were greeted by another female pala'din and a strange man wearing holy garb.>Is male priest V'toly! But he wear blindfold and have to be lead around by pala'din so I know not what to make of this, is very strange.>Mistress Charlotte tell me that blinded man priest can see into Gri'gori's heart>Was worried because heart is in chest and I do not want to end up like dear cousin Vla'dimir>Charlotte tell me that I must spend night in holy room in church and not fall asleep, is no problem because Gri'gori know what happen if he fall asleep. >I worry that tomorrow I shall be given to blind man-priest, maybe this why mistress has not wanted my company she desires to see me dominate another pala'din's man for her. If this is what she want I will do it, it should be no problem because mistress has not beaten me often and feeds me daily so I strong.>I pray to blind man god for your safety V'toly, maybe maimed god man still have ears to hear.
>>36022986>afterlife even more full of spider."If anyone sees my sides, please let me know.
shit nigga can someone screencap this shit, future generations need to be told
>>36022555>listening to this song>see how far he's fallen since "You'll cowards don't even smoke crack"I shouldn't be surprised or saddened, but I am.
>>36022362 A player who had never played before or knew anything about D&D joined up with us some months ago. He literally made Drizzt with no concept of who that was. One relentless mocking latter, we flavored him to Falcatas and got him to make a more detailed back story. I am proud to say the fledgling has learned well and has become quite a good role player.
>>36029300Dear Captain Diomedes,Sir, with the recent massive increase in refugees from the Underdark due to the bi-annual Drow Civil War, I believe some sort of cultural out-reach program is in order. It's just sad seeing the women trying to stab each other with nothing due to muscle memory. The sun, of course, destroys their weapons, leaving them nothing to stab with. They have yet to learn the art of shanking.Now the men are the real problem. They are basically one big group of permanent victims. If we don't teach them to control their own lives somebody is going to come along and turn them all into a slave army.Plus they all seem to have permanent arachnophobia. No idea what that's about. One of them screamed when they saw an octopus, even.Respectfully, Sergeant Baker
And then the Drow became gypsies and everyone hated them again.
>>36022362what is he duel wielding? tommy guns?
>>36029717Reminds me of a time I had a player make a Thri-Keen Fighter based around bow rate of fire. He used twin Elven Double Bows.
>>36022362Be careful, he might actually be an evil mage in disguise
>>36029548Nah, Drow society being what it is, the Drow are city-dwellers rather than migratory. You can't really afford to be migratory in the underdark.
broasting in epic tread
The Postal Service that delivers these letters to and from the Underdark must be filled with incredible badasses.
>>36027898There are a few workarounds. Like having the campaign largely take place at sea.That's what my character did anyway.
>>36030032I would play as a courrier for the Surface-Underdark Pony Express.
>>36030057>campaign takes place at sea>giant spider kraken
>>36022864>>36027898Once I get the chance, I plan to play a male drow who had a drunken epiphany - Lolth was just fucking with the drow for shits and giggles.He fled to the surface. Other than the sun, things are great.
>>36030032All such letter deliveries are handled by adventurers. They call it 'side-questing' and inevitably carry the reply back upon their return.
>>36028489That's even worse.
>>36029222>Cousin V'toly excellent news pala'din Charlotte praised me for remaining awake all night in the holy chapel>'Gri'gori' she said to me 'you have done well to keep these holy vigil.' I know not what all the words mean but I am happy that mistress is happy with me>I was then give to the blindfolded man-priest>Was most strange, we were not made to fight for our pala'din's amusement instead he said that he could see that my heart was not vile>How he knows this I do not know because he did not remove his blindfold or remove my heart>These surfacers are strange cousin, they do not see well in the dark yet they worship a blind man-god who apparently can see>Gri'gori ask 'if he can see, is he not truly blind?'>This impressed mistress more and blind man-priest gave Gri'gori a book of gods>There are many gods on the surface world, some I have heard of but many I have not. I have yet to find where all the spiders are in these afterlives but I will look more>Pala'din Charlotte has taken me from the shrine so that we can adventure>Gri'gori has learnt new spell to help please pala'din Charlotte. I can animate rope to quickly lash her belongs to a horse or whip me so she does not tire herself punishing me>I will tell her about this spell tomorrow, tonight I am allowed to rest
>>36030065>>36030303I've said it before, I seriously want to run a campaign where the PCs are a group of couriers delivering letters and packages to dangerous areas.
>>36030686Then do it, anon.
>>36030759Aww you beat me to it.
>>36022362Just to spite people like you, I have an entire nation of neutral Drow who live on the surface in a place called the Darklands and they have a pretty large number of rangers with a very old tradition of dual-wielding.
>Hello again my cousin! It would seem the surface country is more dangerous than first thought>I was at surface tavern again, trying to please many surface females, when I notice one staring at me cousin>I have never known female to stare like this back in deep country.>passing male whisper to me "careful she eat you alive">Never have I known such terror cousin, even the most cruel matron would not leap upon a male and devour him like wild animal! So I think "surely I have offend!">I try to appease, I sing song of beauty, of glimmering stars, to soothe anger.>Female just stare more cousin! Chewing at lip in anticipation for great feast!>I try very hard cousin, but soon I notice, all females look at me this way! All staring, all licking of lip, but I am out of song!>I prepare dagger, to kill self quickly>But surface male intervene! He much angry at my foolishness. He drag me away from hungry surface females despite their protests! Such bravery. He give only minor beating for upsetting females! >You see how friendly surface country is cousin? It is a great place
>>36028910A-fucking-men, OP. Disney VV threads and now Gr'gori the Slavic Drow are keeping me in good health.
We need a drawfag to grace us with a picture of Gri'gori and V'toly!
>>36031066Like an old family photo they each keep a copy of on them in their travels lol.
>>36030940>Cousins,>I live now on surface for ten years. I tell you, women mostly do not beat men for sport as in the old country. Also fewer mind flayers.>This hard to explain, but I have loving relationship with forest elf woman for last five year. She will not beat me and sometime she cook for us. She say my accent is 'hot.' I think she means it is pleasing, but she also says 'cool' to mean same thing, so maybe I am wrong. She does not chain me up before the mating, either. >I hear you ask "then why do you not run, cousin?" in head. I say to you "because of missionary position. also love." I will not explain more in case priestess get hold of letter and get ideas on how to ruin it for everyone.>Please come to surface soon, I promise is not all sunshine, there is darktime too called night, with pretty sky jewels called stars for the looking at.>Your cousin, An'drow
Pathfinder, going to be playing a drow barbarian. My plan is make my rage form a drider. Thoughts or advice?
>>36031408Be sure to bring deep potato with you, for surface is of poor soil to grow them.
>>36031408Careful, the surfacers can be tricky even if they don't have as many spiders.
>>36031408How are you transforming into a drider when you rage? That isnt how that works, at all. You just get angry.
>>36031645Some of the rage powers grant quasi bestial forms. Plan on picking up the natural attack stuff.
>>36031755Ive never played a PF barbarian so wasnt up on there (Su) powers. I would say just make him become more spider than going drider. Bite attack he grows spider fangs, claws attacks become spider legs, and so on. Driders are too humanoid above the waist for such a thing, and besides a brundlefly-esque spider drow dude is far more terrifying.
Well rangers do get benefits to dual wielding, it's either that or a bow. Plus drow are the only acceptable elves outside of hentai.
>>36029222Man, I was having a rough day until now. You men are doing God's work.
>>36022362I once played drizzle, drizzit's neutral evil pot-smoking cousin. Good times.
>>36023861Nope. It's carp.
>>36031645>>36031755>>36031866He's like the Drow version of the Incredible Hulk. They made him in a lab, experimenting. Now he's loose, traveling the surface world, being pursued by a high priestess who wants to extract the secrets of spider-shaping rage powers from him.
Can someone make a poorly shooped map of Drowgoslavia? I'd imagine it'd just be tunnels but can someone shape them like some Russian satellite nation shit?
>>36029311>>36037228Take your pick
>>36029350>hahaa>yeeaahhViper is my guilty pleasure.
>>36037228You doubled one of the posts there.
>>36037228Doin the lords work man