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>>35918054

“So,” you call out to your vassal. “What did you think about your first day on the job?”

Sandra seems to be at a loss for words. “Err. It was interesting, to say the least?”

“Great! If it's interesting, then you're not bored. That's good enough, right?”

She blinks. “Do you ever stop and think that you should act like a deity?”

“No?” You shrug at her. “I always act like a deity because I am one. Consequently, you act like a vassal because you are one.”

“That's not what I meant,” she gripes.

“Yes, but that's what I meant. Must humans interpret everything their own way?”

“if you're getting philosophical, then I suppose they do. Life is rather subjective.” She shakes her head. “Anyway. What I am trying to say is that you should act more respectable, since you're in the presence of your could-be followers.”

Odd. “But why can I not act like myself?” Very odd. “A deity pretending to be somebody they are not herds the wrong people to the practice.”

“Yes, but...” she groans. “Well, maybe you're right.”

“I'm glad we've come to this conclusion, Sandra.”

“Yes Vala.” She rolls her eyes at you.

“But for the most part, you've gotten accustomed to my presence, no?”

“No. Not one bit.” She walks faster, moving on ahead of you.

Humans are such strange creatures.

>>35918068

The house can be described with one word: cozy. Or maybe extra comfy? Anyway, the couch alone is making you drift off to sleep. “Sandra. I require help.”

“What is it?” She calls out from one of the other rooms.

“The couch seems to be eating me and taking away my energy. I am almost certain I am dying.”

No response. She must be ignoring you again. A cruel vassal, she is.

Popping out from behind a door, she sways you with one word. “Dinner.”

Though it's just broth and noodles, it is still the first thing you have ever eaten. “This is great,” you compliment Sandra.

“I just dumped noodles into broth and let it simmer,” she replies, dismissing your flattery.

“Accept my praise, Sandra.”

“...No,” she frowns at her bowl. Clearly, the broth is more interesting than you are.

“Accept it~” you croon between bites.

“No,” she repeats.

You don't understand. Usually, people like it when they're praised. Did you do something wrong? Humans are a mystery.

Well. Maybe not. Your firsthand research is insufficient. Come to think of it, you don't really know Sandra. You suppose that now would be a good time to barrage her with questions!

>Do you have a family?
>How long have you been a vassal?
>Do you have any wishes or desires?
>Do you hate me?
>Other?

>>35918096
>What's your favorite color?
>Do you have a pet?
>Do you have a family?
>How long have you been a vassal?
>How many fingers am I holding up?
>Do you have any wishes or desires?

>>35918096
>Do you have any wishes or desires?

>>35918096
>>Do you have a family?

As a god what sort of powers do we have?

>>35918096
>>Do you have a family?
>>How long have you been a vassal?
>>Do you have any wishes or desires?
>>Do you hate me?

All the questions!

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“Sandra~” you sing.

“What.” she flatly replies.

“It's pretty lonely in this house. Do you not have a family?”

She stares at you for a moment, stirring the broth in the bowl idly. “I have a mother and father, thank you. When I inherited the role of the vassal, I was required to live alone. It's my duty, I suppose. My parents live on the other side of the island, so I don't get to talk to them much anymore.”

“So how long have you been a vassal, anyway?” You down the rest of the broth.

“Mmmm,” she counts the time passed away with her fingers, “about six years or so? And what about you? Do you have a family? How long have you been a god?”

“Me?” you point to yourself. “I've been a god for less than a day. As for my family... all of humanity is my family, I guess?”

“So you just magically appeared in front of us, blew up and repaired my house, and caused a commotion in the middle of the nation square all in the same day you were created.”

“I did, yes.”

“Oh.” She raises her hands up in the air in resignation and stands up, putting the dinnerware away to clean. After a while, you can faintly hear her whistling a silent tune in the kitchen room.

“My vassal,” you call out to her.

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any wishes or desires?”

She grows quiet, ceasing her whistling. “My wish is to live a happy life.”

>Wish granted! Belief points gained: +5+15 = 20/50
...Hahahahahah.

“Sandra.”

“What do you want now?”

“You're the best, you know that?”

She's silent.

And the deity will retire. To sleep you go! You find that the couch is a suitable enough mattress. To sleep you go~

>Dreams of military turmoil
>Dreams of a broken down shrine
>Dreams of a forgotten bar.

>>35918586
>Dreams of a broken down shrine

>>35918586
>Dreams of a forgotten bar.

>>35918586
>>Dreams of military turmoil

>>35918586
>Dreams of a forgotten bar

>>35918586
Dreams of military turmoil
Fight fight fight!

>>35918586
>Dreams of a broken down shrine

>>35918586
>>Dreams of a forgotten bar.

>>35918778
>>35918717
>>35918634
Called. Forgotten bar wins.

>>35918586
>dreams of military turmoil

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Visions of a bar stand enter your sights. The place holds a raunchy smell, a mix between alcohol and human contempt. And contempt smells horrid. You flop off the table, sending sparks of sharp pain through your sides. You groan. What a horrible dream. A few drunks pass you by, completely ignoring you.

“Care for a drink, sir?” asks a waitress, who apparently did not see you just roll off one of her tables.

“No,” you groggily decline. A battered, beaten-down clock hangs on the wall. The time's 1:43 A.M.

If this isn't a dream, you're going to play the wrathful god. For starters, you have no idea where you are, other than being in a bar. It doesn't even remotely look like you're in Ffion.

The people here are a rambunctious bunch – gawking at women and laughing rowdily at unfunny jokes. No order is in sight.

A group of men start climbing on the tables. The waiters and waitresses, horrified, retreat to the employees-only section of the building. One trips and accidentally smashes into another drunk.

And then fists start flying.

You, sleepy and tired, have a couple of options.

>Blast them hard enough to stop this petty fight.
>Leave. You're not going to deal with this right now.
>Divine powers. They have incurred the wrath of a god. (Spend BP. Currently: 20/50)
>

>>35919082
>Blast them hard enough to stop this petty fight.

>>35919082
>Blast them hard enough to stop this petty fight.

>>35919082
>>Divine powers. They have incurred the wrath of a god. (Spend BP. Currently: 20/50)

>>35919082
>Blast them hard enough to stop this petty fight.

>>35919082
>>Blast them hard enough to stop this petty fight.

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They're but only humans, so you'll go easy on them. You mentally grasp the flow of your ethereal self and channel the flow through your physical being. You take a breath of air. As you exhale, you send ripples of energy through the area, directing the force at the throng of drunks. The air, desperate to catch up to such a magnificent show of power, surges towards the energy. Towards the drunks.

The current of air sweeps them all off their feet and onto the walls.

“Settle down, please,” you grumble, rubbing your eyes.

The waitress who fled the scene returns, quietly thanking you for your patronage. “Um, well, t-tha–”
>Desire granted! Stop the barfight! +5+20 = 25/50 BP.

“Don't mention it.”

“Oh?” A boy steps forth. He has long orange hair, draping way past his shoulders. He dons a green, flowing robe, inscribed by various mythical markings on the rim. Two bangles clink against each other as he waves to you. “Seems like you've cleared the area of its hooligans.”

“Yeah, well, I'm just trying to help ou–”

“But you see,” he smirks devilishly. “That's MY job.”

Well, great. He taps a staff to the floor, sending a buzzing noise across the bar.

You politely thank the waitress for her time and run the hell out of the bar. 'Twould be tragic if it just so happened to blow up.

Several shots of lightning whir past you, barely nicking your hair. You keep rushing through the unkempt streets until you find a clear area.

Once you do, you turn around. You wish you didn't have to fight, but you're not going to just run with your tail tucked between your legs. Such is life of a deity.

>Use several spells at once to zone him out.
>Go for a critical blow. Wait for him to get closer.
>Wait until he uses his spells. Figure out his tactic and then counter with magic.

>>35919576
>Wait until he uses his spells. Figure out his tactic and then counter with magic.

>>35919576
>Wait until he uses his spells. Figure out his tactic and then counter with magic.

>>35919576
Countermagic.

>>35919627
>>35919643
>>35919672

Alrighty. Roll 1d100+10.

>>35919576
>>Wait until he uses his spells. Figure out his tactic and then counter with magic.

"Honestly, I'm in no mod for this, I'm trying to get back to my comfy couch."

Rolled 98 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>35919741
rollan

Rolled 35 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>35919741

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>>35919767
.........Wa-I.......What...?

>>35919767
>>35919811
Here's hoping that high is good.

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>>35919767
Welp.
...Writing.

Rolled 55 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>35919741

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So you stand your ground. “Do we really need to do this? Can we talk this over a cup of tea?”

“You know as well as I do that I can't just let my competition go without a fair fight, yes?” He smirks, planting his feet. He closes his eyes, still wearing his wild grin. “It's just the way it works around here.”

“Of course.”

>Desire: Vala, we have work to do. Can you get back here?
No doubt it's Sandra. This isn't really how you wanted to spend your nap time. But luckily, now that Sandra wished for you to return, you have a way out of this mess.

As soon as you deal with this troublemaker.

“Listen. I need to get back to my vassal because she's really cute and pretty and I'm really supposed to be sleeping right now so if we could lay down our differences, that would be great.”

Dark storm clouds converge into a single spot over Orange-Hair. The flurry of clouds all strike lightning down on him, charging him with intense electrical power. His staff intensifies in light, snapping with static and discharging bolts.

He throws down his staff, expelling a storm of bolts that burns the ground as it travels.

He's constantly keeping his distance from you, using faster lightning bolts to prevent you from casting. You throw a few bolts of your own, though they are marginally weaker. But he doesn't dodge, instead overpowering your spells with his. Well then. You're not too sure what to do right now.

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>>35920480

But you feel a gentle touch on your shoulder. Hmm? The hand that holds your shoulder warmly is not that of the physical world.

What is your desire, little one?

You smile warmly, despite the impending tempest of lightning heading straight towards you.

>To get back home.

A pillars of light sweep outwards from your person, disjointing the bolts of electricity away. The gust of wind sweeps Orange-Hair off of his feet, dissipating the storm clouds above him.

One more time.

“Have you ever seen star shower?”

The sky hails down a volley of flares, all crashing down in front of you. Each leaves a crater, smashing the roads into oblivion. You wish you didn't have to break the infrastructure, but your need to go back home overpowered your regard for public property.

“Oi,” the guy feebly blabs.

“Yes?”

But he says nothing, passing out.

>Desire: Vala, we have work to do. Can you get back here?
As a deity, you have no choice but to grant such a wish. Right? Right.

>Current BP: +24+25 = 49/50

>Your deity powers increased!
>Miracles (innate) – 2
>Please add +2 points.

Your current stats are:
>Magics – 3
>Wish Intuition – 2
>Strength – 0
Influence – 2

>>35920502
Pillars of light, not "a pillars of light"

>>35920502
2 to magic

>>35920502
1 to wish
1 to influence

>>35920502
One to strength, one to Wish

>>35920502
+magic
+influence

>>35920502
+1 to magic +1 to strength just in case we're ever forced into hand to hand.

>>35920502
>+1 strength
>+1 wish intuition

>>35920582
seconding.

>>35920502

>Magics +1
>Wish Intuition +1

>>35920502
>Magic
>Wish

>>35920502
>+1 Magics
>+1 Wish Intuition

Called. +1 to Magic and Wish Intuition.

>>35920502
+magic
+swole
It'd be embarassing if we could not help with carrying something.

>>35920887
Oh, 2slo.

Next time we should get a point in strength just so some adventurer doesn't take us out with a grapple.

>>35920999
Having 0 in a thing doesn't make us automatically lose in it.

>>35920999
We should go all atlas

>>35921015
Yeah I figure we're at baseline human or a little better, we ever get cornerd or run out of magic, we'll need at least a little to get some space though.

>>35921038
Nah, just enough so we can't get steamrolled by a fighter solo.

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Your current stats are:
>Magics – 4
>Wish Intuition – 3
>Strength – 0
>Influence – 2

You dissipate into the Wish Current, temporarily exiting the physical plane. You feel the same hand that was on your shoulder guide you back to Ffion. Leaving a sentiment of thanks lingering on the Wish Current, you return back to your world.

This time, you materialize without a bang. Nevertheless, Sandra is completely horrified.

Hmm? What's this? Your robe's getting all wet. Oh, so this must be a shower. “It's pretty cramped here. Also, if we have a plumbing system, why didn't we use that for the cart fire?”

Sandra sharply turns around. “Vala... please get out.”

“But you called for me, didn't you?” You don't really get it. Did she not wish for you to return?

“Yes,” she seethes. “I called for you. I did not ask you to join me in the shower. So, if you will.”

You leave the bathroom puzzled, thinking about it on the couch. You're pretty sure you respected her personal space and did your best to give her some room.

…

Oh, right. You forgot!

Your vassal enters the fray.

“Sandra,” you address her. “I'm sorry.”

>You forgot clothes are a natural part of human lives.
>You forgot that water makes robes wet and thus you should not have been there.
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>35921074
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

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>>35921074
>You forgot that water makes robes wet and thus you should not have been there.
I'm loving this dense god

>>35921074
>>You forgot that water makes robes wet and thus you should not have been there.

>>35921074
>You forgot that water makes robes wet and thus you should not have been there.

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>35921074
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

>>35921074
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>35921074
>You forgot that water makes robes wet and thus you should not have been there.
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>35921074
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>35921074
>>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

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Called.
>You're forgetting something else... you think? (Roll ???)

Now roll 1d100-40.

>>35921211
If only. Pic related.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>35921264
Darn it you fat cat

Rolled 63 + 40 (1d100 + 40)

>>35921264
rollan hope I get lucky on a second roll

Rolled 73 - 40 (1d100 - 40)

>>35921264

>>35921211
>roll 99
"Oh, that's right, I forgot all humans require sexual release, here, let me help you."

Rolled 16 - 40 (1d100 - 40)

>>35921264

>>35921284
THANK YOU BASED GOD

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>>35921284
If there were a perfect time to use ellipses, this would be it.

You used BP irl didn't you?

>>35921322
>>35921284
No modifiers, doesn't count.

>>35921353
Taking it anyway.

>>35921211
>>35921284
These rolls have the blessing of a deity.

>>35921393
Vala so far has had Impovaizen quest luck.

>>35921352
Wait, with a 100 did we make her forget we did something wrong?

>>35921577
Neither. This train has no brakes.

>>35921651
Sweet.

>>35921651
Wooooooooooow railroading 0/10 dropped instantly.

>>35921577
>>35921651
yeah, that would run counter with what Vala has been doing anyway. Vala's magic so far has been a mix between taking responsibility and doing stuff on a whim. Both acknowledge rather than deny mistakes or general bad stuff.

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>>35921683

>>35921710
you're fun, I like you. Followin this quest now.

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“Whatever,” she gruffly replies. “Just don't do it agai–”

“No,” you shake your head. Once more, you reiterate. “I'm sorry.”

You feel... something. Something you've forgotten.

>Sandra Eire. A young maiden, who was put into the role of the deity's vassal. Currently the Twenty-And-Second Vassal of Eire, she is secretly loathed by the Church of Ffion. Serving under a branch of Ffion's national religion, her home and family heritage are despised by many in the mainlands.

>Sandra Eire
>Magics –1
>Wish Intuition – 0
>Strength – 0
>Influence – 1

>The current religion is Wylindraism, one that rules under fear and hatred. The cart that exploded from the day before scared the poor merchant, previously unaffiliated with the religion, into submission and “belief” of Wylindraism.

>The Eire family, descendants of both a god and mortal, has been faced with many hardships, caged under the name Wylindraism. Many blame the Eire family for bad luck and horrible omens. As a result, a young Sandra Eire was secluded from friends and proper education.

“Do you live a happy life, Sandra?” you ask solemnly.

“It's not horrible, I suppose?” She tilts her head at you. “...Anything wrong?”

>Smite. “Have you ever seen the wrath of a deity before?”
>Simmer down. “Do you have any wishes or desires? Anything at all?”
>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

>>35921683
Get fucked with a horse cock

>>35921915
Sure is people getting mad over an obvious joke.

>>35921910
>>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

I do love a good saunter.

>>35921910
>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

>>35921922
Poe's Law

>>35921910
>Saunter. "How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?"

>>35921910
Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

>>35921922
>Obvious
Not so much when the questing scene on /tg/ is infested with morons who either genuinely think the kind of shit you posted or just use it as trolling/shitposting material.

>>35921910
>Be Constructive. "Have you ever wished for a normal life? Do you still do?"

>>35921910
Simmer&Saunter
>>35921956
'Woooooooooow' is a dead giveaway. So is 0/10. Just. Anon. Not everyone is a jaded asshole. Don't give up hope.

>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”
Here's hoping the 100 helps out with this and wasn't just for observation.

>>35921910
>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

>>35921989
+1

>>35922026
So, you're saying the optimists are the sarcastic assholes out there? Well that's depressing.

>>35921989
Might swell.

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>>35921910
>Saunter. “How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

>>35918054
Hey QM, did you know that this is the 4th different quest called "Deity Quest"?

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>>35922297
Yes. Only after I archived the first thread.

>>35922297
Shhh, nobody needed to mention that. It's going a lot better than the other god quests.

>>35922391
Can you remember the fuck up that was omnipotence quest it could have been good

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“How about we check that 'national religion' thing today?”

“Um, okay,” she acquiesces, idly twirling a lock of her hair. “When?”

“Now,” you demand, pulling her by the hand.

“Now? Why now?” she frets.

You frown. “Just doing some surveillance.”

“Well, let go of me.” She slaps your hand away.

For once, you feel incredibly hurt. “San–”

She shushes you. Walking forward, she extends her own hand towards you. “You're going to get lost, right? I'll lead.”

The trip to the Village of the Clouds takes little to no time. Maybe because it's a small island relative to the other ones. Maybe because you're walking so fast, you're basically dragging Sandra along again. It's past daybreak – the sun clearly visible above the horizon.

The steps to the church are demoralizing. They seem to go on forever. But you don't care – retribution is on its way.

“Umm. Vala.” Sandra pulls on the sleeve of your robe. “I understand that you want to check out the other religion, but do we really have to do it right now?” She seems a bit hesitant, timid even.

“We do,” you assert. “We definitely do.”

At the peak of the stairs sits a church. The Church of Ffion.

A man steps forth, scripture in hand. “Have you business here?” He offers you a benevolent smile. But as soon as he catches sight of Sandra, you can feel his hate, his rage, boil up. He sneers ever so quickly at your vassal, before returning to meet your gaze. You would've missed that.

If you were human.

“I have plenty of business here,” you sigh.

It begins soon. But what should you do with Sandra?

>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.
>Sandra might be in danger. Send her back to protect her.
>

Your Kidding right?

Keep her here.

>>35922626
>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.
They so much as touch her, they'll see what the anger of a 2 day old deity can do!

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>>35922626
>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.
Oh time for fuuuuun.....

>>35922626
>>Sandra might be in danger. Send her back to protect her.

>>35922626
damnit guys, please consider the consequences. I'd much prefer we just treat her nicely right in front of them, baiting them to do something, then shutting them down with godly authority.

>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.

>>35922626
Deserves to see.

>>35922626
>>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.

she's safer near by where we can see her tahn away where some agent might be in wait.

>>35922626

>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.

this is gonna be good

>>35922626
>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.

Let it begin.

>>35922767
>damnit guys, please consider the consequences.
Well when she is killed in the cross fire or becomes terrified by us at least you can say i told you so

>>35922859
I was kind of more worried about the rampant destruction across the town/villages and the destabalization of society caused by a gigantic smiting.

She is NOT going to be happy when she finds out that she's the reason.

>>35922896
She isn't the reason, she's a symptom of how bad it has gotten, if anything doing it now will save lives because we can't do as much damage to the area. Imagine if we got 5 more elves then came at them.

>>35922956
levels not elves darn autocorrect

>>35922956
>five whole elves
Damn man calm down no need to start WW3 here

why use our magic to blow stuff up or cause property damage?

Just give the wicked the gaze of Death and stop there hearts. We can simple look into their souls and judge them on the spot.

Just throwing out ideas.

>>35923046
I am guessing because just like how we are a god with our own religion. They are also under a different religion and protection of another god. Judging another god's followers might result in more problems.

>>35922956
1) that's not how she'll see it. She's barely had time to process the whole "wait for civvies to help themselves before helping out", and now we're doing this.

2) While just destroying stuff is the fastest solution, there are less...messy methods.

>>35923046
in general, using force is something to be discouraged. The idea is to change the way society thinks, not suddenly force a new set of morals and ways of living on people who don't know any better.

>>35923080
I'm not even convinced there is an actual god they are worshipin, I think they made the religion up to control the populace with fear.

>>35923133
Better to not make rash decisions as a new and up coming god before we actually have a solid base of followers first.

>>35922626
>>Keep her here. As your vassal, she deserves to see.

>>35923172
true, I see your point.

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“Well, sir–”

“But!” you cut him off. “I have a question. How do you feel about flaming carts?”

He grimaces. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

A few people walk out from the church.

“What's going on?”
“Is he talking about that explosion?”
“Oh, he's that guy!”

A murmur sprouts from inside the church, spurring more hushed whispers. The priests all assemble to quiet the crowd. But they won't be quieted.

The man, shaking his scriptures, folds the papers up and pockets them. Then, with the most unconvincing smile on his face, the man turns to Sandra. “And this fellow is...?”

“Vala,” she lowers her head, “the current Deity of Eire.”

“Deity?” he nods. “I see.”

>hatred
>hatred
>Hatred
>HATRED

“And Wylindra?” he asks.

She doesn't respond, turning her face away.

>HATRED
But he would never–

The sound of a hand hitting a face echoes across the church, louder than anything you have ever heard.

Sandra falls to the floor, clutching her cheek.

“Girl,” he drones. “Do you not know how insolent you are?”

...OH?

“You are weak, Eire. Your family is weak. And so is your deity.”

You pick up Sandra by the hand. In a quiet voice, you ask her, “Do you believe in me?”

Slight tears from her eyes, she quietly responds, “Yes.”

>CURRENT BELIEF POINTS: 100/50

You smile at Sandra. Still looking at her, you address the man. “Sir. Have you ever seen Wylindra in person before?”

“Well, I believe in my drea–”

“Esteemed clergyman.” Turning to face the man, you give him one question.

“Have you ever incurred the Wrath of a God before?”

>SPEND BP

>>35923172
>>35923133
You're lucky you put those points into Wish Intuition.

>>35923417
80 BP on smiting the sinner!

>>35923417
WRATH
SMITE
HE WILL SEE THE LIGHT THAT IS GOOD
THE LIGHT THAT IS VALA
AND IT WILL HURT HIM

>>35923417
>SPEND BP
Are we going to pull off a double miracle? I bet it'd be so beautiful!

>>35923417
How crazy can we get here with it? I kinda want to just nuke the place, but it would even more impressive if all of the buildings, statues, altars, everything really that these people have, even the clothes on their backs, got swallowed up into nothingness leaving them just standing there.

>>35923468
Oh and spend 80 to smite

>>35923417
100 BP

DOUBLE DIVINE MIRACLE
Let's fucking do this.

>>35923466
Seconded

>>35923417
>SPEND BP

>Turn the priests into turkeys.

>>35923417
are you asking us a question? people seem to have taken it as a prop asking us how much BP to spend.

>>35923417
Our light shall burn the Wicked, nothing shall be left of them but their shadows burned into the walls.

>>35923417
>Spend everything!

>>35923417
how to handle this with tact...

>cause the pavement to grab his feet and keep him in place
>make will o wisps appear on and off around him, in faster and faster intervals, and going closer and closer
>make a proper speech about insolence and hatred
>as this is happening, dark clouds form
>A lightning strike, flying towards his face and stopping an inch before hitting him
>KEEP LIGHTNING BOLT IN PLACE

well, that's a start.

DETECT EVIL 30 bp
SMITE ALL EVIL 70 bp

>>35923417
90 BP, let's test our limits.

Spend ~60 points on impressive visual displays. Use some of that 60 to give him a hand-shaped case of acne on his cheek.

>>35923417
Lets see what an 100BP smite can do

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>>35923417

>>35923612
I love how the pic is named "boop"

REALIZATION
>SANDRA IS PARTLY A DEITY
THE IMPLICATIONS

>>35923844
>IMPLICATIONS!

What? That we could lose our divinity?

>>35923907
If by divinity you mean virginity yes.

did any of you perhaps suspect that "Spend BP" was asking HOW to spend your BP rather than HOW MUCH BP you spend?

>>35923954
Does anybody here have any idea of WHAT we can actually do with that much BP? I have no idea what Vala's capabilities are, much less when he's overcharged like this.

>>35923936
We're a god. We can crossbreed with anything and do so by force of will rather than physical action. Not sure if we even came into existence with our virginity intact in the first place.

>>35923997 we obviously >>35923612 booped him

>>35923417
>"Well, you're about to."

Walk away, the damage done. The man will die in seven days. Today, he will have the best day of his life. tomorrow will be a normal day, though seem especially boring. On the third day, he will suddenly realize how repulsive the life he leads, a life steeped in formality and title and grovelling truly is. On the forth day, he shall recede from the world. The fifth day, he will emerge briefly to rant madly at how foolish his colleagues are to live by their titles instead of their names. On the sixth, he will disappear again, writing his will with as little formality as possible.

And at midnight on the seventh day, he will hang himself from a tree in the square.

>>35923997
well, what do you think is appropriate for this situation

>>35923954
Yes, but I couldn't come up with anything better than slapping him hard enough that our handprint will be inherited by every descendent of his bloodline. Figured someone else would come up with something better.

>>35924048
Opening a portal to the realm of spooky skeletons and then tethering it to this asshole's chest?

>>35924048
A fleet of dragon suiside bombers

>>35924048
Not this anon, but burning down the church as non-lethally as possible seems to be a good option. Can't kill people in front of Sandra, she's too good of a kid.

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The ground rumbles in fear, shaking the nonbelievers from the floor. You pull Sandra close, keeping her from harm's way.

The very foundations of the church start ripping themselves from the road, floating into the air. A cacophony of ringing bells echo from inside the shrine before the bells dissipate into thin air. The people inside shout in fear, racing out of the imminent destruction that was previously called a church.

“I'll wait until everybody is out of the church,” you declare. “But in the meantime.”

The man rolls on the floor, unable to get himself up from the shaking earth.

“YOU. You have destroyed the very thing which is called a religion. You take away the safety of your followers, belittle your opposition, and harm those who do not follow you. You are disgusting. I would not even spit in the direction of you. But you see, I would have forgiven you. Because I am a god. HOWEVER, I won't. Do you know why?”

Meekly, he asks, “Why?”

“Because you hurt my cute vassal.”

The last of the people in the church are evacuated. You are ready to SMITE.

“You have stripped her life away from her, soiled her family name, and slapped her in front of her very own deity. Can you not see? I am wrathful.” Taking a slow breath of air, you lowly mutter, “Be smited.”

Raising your arm, you backhand him to the face, slapping him with extreme prejudice.

The church erupts in a holy inferno, dismantling itself in your presence. Each and every tile shatters itself into pieces, each pillar smashing down into ruin. The entire church lifts up into the air, basked in white light, and shatters. In its destruction, a temple reconstructs itself and smashes into the ground, creating a gigantic crater on impact. The entrance reads: “Eire.”

With the last broken shards of the church, you assemble a boat and oars. You throw the clergyman into the boat.

“Reflect on your sins,” you command.

Then you shoot the boat into the ocean, away from the floating islands of Ffion.

>>35924037
Death is easy, we want him to suffer, to be so humiliated that his very existence will drive people from Wylindra's faith, to be so broke that eventually he will come to us on hand and knee to beg for forgiveness and death, at which point we can convert him or kill him as is most useful to us.

But all else aside this dude needs to beg Sandra's forgiveness in this life and the next.

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Consequences: A stunned crowd, a newfound temple sinking just baaarely into the earth, and a crying Sandra.

Crying Sandra!?

Uh–

Before you can think of anything to say, she pulls you into a huge bear hug, squeezing the ethereal right out of you.

...The entire crowd gives you a smug look of approval.

“Err, Sandra.” You have to reluctantly pull her away from you.

“You may be the stupidest deity I've ever known,” she says in between sniffles.

“I'm the only deity you've known.”

“I know.”

“Sandra.”

“Yes?”

“Everybody's looking at us.”

“I don't care.”

...Humans.

You feel like you're beginning to understand them.

>>35924107
Sheeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt

>>35923417
Not sure on point spending but here's a nice hot-blooded speech I came up with

>"You claim to speak for your deity, to be an instrument of divine will, BUT ALL I SEE IS A BUNCH OF GREEDY OLD MEN FORCING THEIR WILL ON THOSE THEY SEE AS BENEATH THEM!

It's Time for you to see what Real Divine Wrath looks like!

>>35924151
Squeeeeee!

>>35924200
Stop being a faggot, anon.

>>35924151
D'awwww

>>35924070
see, that wasn't so hard.

>>35924073
>>35924074
those are nice, too.

>>35924107
a little late, though

>>35924200
Speeches are tricky business, because it's way too easy to sound like you don't know what you're talking about.

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And that's it for now! Thanks for running with me today!

Admittedly, my schedule's pretty busy during the weekdays, but I'll see what I can do. Stay tuned by following my on my Twuttoo @nanolitre

Maaaaaybe I'll be able to work on a thread on Thursday 6 PM EST. If I am unable to QM in the weekdays, a thread will definitely be up next Saturday around 6 PMish EST.

Questions? Comments? Want to punch certain characters in the face? Let me know here~

>>35924288
thanks for running Nano, how bad is the fallout from this going to be?

>>35924288
I personally want a definitive answer.

Is Sandra going to be our Waifu. If so, I'm out. If not, you're based god.

>>35924288
Second thread was as fun as the first. I enjoyed.

>>35924331
Seconding

>>35924320
Horrible. I have essays to write and exams to study for. Not that it matters because I wouldn't have done that during the weekend anyway.

>>35924331
>>35924361
Your waifu is Belief Points

>>35924352
Thank you, I try my bestest.

>>35924288
how much of the other religion is still scattered around? Pockets of resistance, almost all of them, etc?

>>35924331
I...am not against waifus, but OP, you might want to clarify what this Quest is ultimately about: Being a god, or being HER god?

>>35924288
Archived. Thanks for running.

>>35924381
Are there any other gods still about (being lazy bums) or coming into their own? Will they be automatically antagonistic or not?

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>>35924394
After the incident, expect little to none.
Only because of all the insane rolls that happened.

>you might want to clarify what this Quest is ultimately about: Being a god, or being HER god?
This quest is about being a Deity. Anything else is up to you.

>>35924434
The answer to both of those questions is definitely maybe.

>>35924403
Hey, thanks~

>>35924288
can you make a twitter to announce future threads?

>>35924394
why not both? idort.jpg

>>35924664
he did, look for nanolitre

>>35924664
Whoah how dumb are you feeling right now?

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>>35924664
yes

I searched the thread for "twitter" and found zero results
Apparently he thought it would be cute to call it "Twuttoo" and thus make it unsearchable.

>>35924859
>not searching for @

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>>35924859
I'm sorry. I have no regrets about Twuttoo.

>>35921353
You know what I've always thought of as the most bullshit excuse? That. It pisses me off when that happens. Doesn't change the roll in the slightest, and it's not like basic arithmetic is that difficult.

>>35926798
Rolling the hundred after QM called to roll because someone rolled a premature 99 was amazing.

>>35924671
You're probably gone already, but there's a huge difference when it comes to quest direction and perspective.

qtg likes to complain about waifuing, and there's a grain of truth in that.

>>35918068