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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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It is morning, and despite all of your years on this godforsaken planet you will never ever get used to the pain of sunlight blaring into your eyes well before you form the mental constitution to open them to the new day. This is made worse by the fact that your new home (for now) happens to be the well furnished but wall-to-wall windowed apartment of your idoru girlfriend, Iori Minase. There was a reason that your old home tended to have its blinds closed like an iron curtain, closing off your eastern Germany from the rest of the Western world – you couldn’t stand the sun and its painful light, and you could stand it even less in the morning when you awake from the far more wonderful world of dreams.

All that complaining aside, you couldn’t complain too much; not only were you sleeping on what you’d probably consider the world’s most comfortable mattress, but beside you was your very own idol girlfriend and you couldn’t much complain about how soft she as when she was cuddled up against you, no siree.

But wait…that softness was nowhere to be found to mitigate the sharp sunlight shooting through your eyelids.

You open your eyes trying to hold back the panic rising in your chest and you think about your options.

>Search the room, and then the apartment.
>Call her cell phone
>PANIC MODE ACTIVATE
>>
>>35657424
>Search the room, and then the apartment.

Don't assume the worst immediately, she might be making breakfast or something.

And close the god damned blinds some while we're at it.
>>
Holy shit, I saw the first thread and how many threads did I miss?
>>
>Go to the bathroom.

Let's worry about other things after a morning piss.
>>
>>35657477
This is the fourth, I believe. We had
>kidnapping
>murder
>cult leader
>>
>>35657424
>>Search the room, and then the apartment.

calm down and kill everyone.
>>
>>35657424
>Search the room, and then the apartment.
>>
>>35657424
>>Search the room, and then the apartment.
>>
>>35657424
>Search the room, and then the apartment.
>>
Voting is over!
>>
>[x] Search the room, and then the apartment.
>>
>Iori
Shittiest shit idol
Worse than cinderella and ML girls
>>
>>35657680
Tell somebody who cares.
>>
>>35657769
he's telling it to me, autist.
>>
>>35657650
>>35657592

You are Prometheus Tagger (or Protag, as you were called by anyone who cared enough to know your name) and you decide that it is high time you saved panicking for after you find out something bad happened, and not before you could prove a single thing.

With some trouble forcing yourself from the cloud-like comfort of the mattress below you, you get up and take a cursory glance around your new room (your old one – your old home, actually, having been compromised about a month before by a cult that wanted to make you both a king and a pile of ashes) and find nothing truly out of place. Besides you, you guess. You focus on the task at hand and try to observe the differences in the room from the day before but at the moment the only thing is that the cute bunny pajamas that Iori had worn to bed last night were in the hamper in the corner of the room. Of course, this could mean one of two things –she’d gotten up and dressed on her own, or she was the victim of some pervert. You hoped it was the latter.

From the bedroom you entered the bathroom, furnished in a girlish but still neat and modern style. Most of the bathrooms “furniture” was accented with brushed steel, and the shower-slash-bathtub had more options for comfortable bathing than anything you’d ever seen in your entire life. There was a small drip dripping from the faucet, but besides that there were no hints in there.

Exiting from the bathroom, you begin searching for “clues”, and find that nothing here is out of place as well. There was a dish in the sink, and a coffee mug. Did the criminal have the balls to eat breakfast before he took Iori?

For a second you wonder if there was anywhere else to check, until your eyes settle on an annoyingly highlighter yellow post-it note on the fridge. On it, in your girl’s script, was one sentence: “Gone running, but I won’t be out too long. Love, Iori.”

>Call Iori to confirm
>This was written by the criminal! Commence panic!
>Write in
>>
>>35657913
>Call Iori to confirm
>>
>>35657913
>Makes perfect sense. Fap as you imagine her in a sports bra.
>>
>>35657913
>Call iori to confirm
>>
>>35657913
> Pretend to be placated by the "peaceful scene" as you prepare breakfast by chopping something with a large chef knife. They may have placed hidden cameras!
>>
>>35657960
>Call Iori to confirm, commence panic.
>>
>>35657913
>Call Iori to confirm
>Fix ourself breakfast while we wait for her to return.
>>
>>35657913
>Make yourself some breakfast, if she doesn't come back by the time you're done minutes, then flip the fuck out.
>>
>>35657913
>Call Iori to confirm
>>
Voting is over
As an aside, I've seen people call Iori "buttslut idol" and "anal idol" in both these threads and /vg/ im@s generals. Is there an actual reason for this, or is it just based on a lot of the doujins I myself have seen involving her?
>>
>>35657913
>Call Iori to confirm
>>
>>35658121

Just autism and fanboyism.
>>
Although the note looks authentic, you still have your misgivings. Maybe the criminal forced her to write it! Maybe she’d written it quickly, while her abductor was distracted with his meal! Maybe it was all a conspiracy!

All that said, you figure a call can’t hurt. You type in her number and press send, and it’s a couple of rings that feel like centuries before you hear her voice through the phone.

“Protag?” she says inbetween heavy breaths. “What’s” pant “Up?”

“I, uh, woke up and you were gone but I wasn’t sure where too…”

“Oh! I went running; the choreographer said that I need to get a bit more fit for some new moves he wanted us to do, so I have a new training regimen.”

Iori isn’t fit? Could’ve fooled you. But then again, you weren’t exactly sure how fit you had to be to be a world class idol. It definitely took some body strength.

“Uh huh. Okay, well I’ll wait for you here.” You laugh, for lack of anything else to really say. When faced with actual work that others do, your NEET lifestyle’s true nature rears its ugly head.

She giggles, and then tells you goodbye – she still has a mile or two to run. You give her a “good luck” and hang up. Now what?

>Cook breakfast for yourself, and do the dishes
>Try out some exercise on your own, so that you don’t feel so useless
>Sit and twiddle your thumbs as you wait
>>
>>35658306
>>Cook breakfast for yourself, and do the dishes
>>Try out some exercise on your own, so that you don’t feel so useless
>>
>>35658306
>>Cook breakfast for yourself, and do the dishes
>>Try out some exercise on your own, so that you don’t feel so useless
Be a good house wife for you idol
>>
>>35658306
>Try out some exercise on your own, so that you don’t feel so useless
Because we don't want to be less fit than our girlfriend, and not becausewe know she's been forced to make the note and answer our call against her will
>>
>>35658306
>Cook breakfast for yourself, and do the dishes
>>
Voting is over!
>>
She's breathing heavily because she's taking the dick right now.
>>
Hearing that she was exercising causes you to feel useless and weak. She may just be running at the moment, but Iori was still getting fit. What were you doing? Sleeping in? Life was so much easier as a full time NEET.

With a sigh you decide that it was time that you started exercising –for the first time since your high school gym classes ended. First you try doing some push-ups. You assume the position and try, you know, pushing up. That upper body strength is not your forte is a truth you learn not a second later, as your noodly arms shake and shiver while you try lifting your tall-but-lanky frame from the floor. Even an inch. *Even an inch* would be good. But no, it’s impossible. You hang your head in defeat.

Next you try squats, and these you have some more success with. Having trained your legs for years while running and hiding from bullies, your gams are pretty solid and you do a couple reps of these successfully. Unfortunately the rest of your body hasn’t had that training – you’re out of breath, and the blood rushing to and from your head causes the room to spin. Trying to walk to the couch is like traversing an obstacle course and you fall over absolutely nothing, hitting your cheek against the floor. Fuck. Exercise is not your forte, not at all.

Accepting failure as you normally do, you shrug it off and decide to make yourself breakfast. Mindlessly you follow the steps you know by heart to make French toast, and in about 10 minutes you have a steaming plate of sweet fried bread and a cup of coffee.

The door opens then, and the first thing you hear isn’t Iori, but the crying of a child. And then you smell the soiled diaper of a child. And then, of course, you see Iori walking in, her arms around a small child. How do you react?

>You’re shocked
>You’re accusatory
>You faint
>Write in
>>
>>35658759
>>You’re shocked
>>
>>35658759
>You’re shocked
>>
>>35658759
>>You’re shocked
>>
>>35658759
>You’re shocked
Hold your horses woman! We haven't even gotten the wedding rings and you're already starting a family?
>>
>>35658759
>You're accusatory.
>>
>>35658759
>You’re shocked
>>
>>35658759
"When did this happen?"
>>
Voting is over!
>>
>>35658945
Over is voting!
>>
>>35658945
Damn, I missed the beginning!
>>
“Iori, wha- I mean, why do you – the two of us haven’t even had – you didn’t – “ you can’t get the words out. You can’t even form a proper sentence. Why the FUCK was there a

“Baby. Why”. It’s the best you can do.

Iori grins sheepishly, giggling in embarrassment and sweaty from her run. “L-long story short, I found him abandoned in the park when I was running and without thinking I just kinda…took him. I want to find his mom!”

“Abandoned? Are you sure he was – “

“I didn’t see a single adult he could belong to.”

Huh. There really wasn’t much you could say in this situation. She may have saved a child from abandonment, but she also kind of abducted a kid. Speaking of the child, he looked about 8 months old, and had a peculiar birthmark on his neck, a small one that almost looked like a star.

“So what’s the plan?” you ask Iori.

Before she can answer, you both get a text. She checks her phone first.

“MISSING CHILD ALERT: The mayor’s child has been missing since this morning. Police are on the case.”

Oh no. OH NO. “Iori…this…this is bad.”
Her eyes are widened in fear. She actually nearly drops the child, but you manage to grab him from her hands. God, it smells bad.

>Put the baby down and tend to Iori
>Let her process all this, change the kid
>Write in
>>
>>35659169
>Let her process all this, change the kid
Be a good househusband
>>
>>35659169
>Let her process all this, change the kid
>>
>>35659169
>>Let her process all this, change the kid
because if we have to run from the law we probably dont want to have to smell it all the way.
>>
>>35659169
>Let her process all of this, change the kid
>Call cabbie and get him to drop off the kid at the mayor's office.
>>
>>35659169
>>Write in
"Alright, I'm going to phone the police and tell them we have a baby, and see if the description matches."
>>
>>35659215
This, this is good thinking also we change the baby.
>>
>>35659169
Oh. Well, this is easily resolved, we just call them and tell them the truth. Who's going to doubt Minase Iori, Idoru extraordinaire?
>Let her process all this, change the kid
>>35659209
>getting Cabbie in trouble
No.
>>
>>35659215
>>35659169
Secponding that
>>
inb4 the cops are corrupt
>>
>>35659169
>Let the baby process all this, change Iori.
>>
Voting is over!
>>
>>35659278
Into what, Chihaya?
>>
are these archived somewhere?
>>
>>35659469
In the usual place.
>>
>>35659469
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/accidental%20idol/type/op/
>>
>>35659237
>>35659215
That Iori’s eye is twitching, and that her fingers clenching and unclenching serves to tell you that for the time being, she was going to be no help at all. The girl was in shock, but shock wasn’t going to clear this problem up. With all the shit you’ve had to put up with since meeting your girlfriend (that shit, of course, not being enough to outweigh the very fact that she was *your* girlfriend), you kind of learned to make your way through shitty situations the best you could.

On Iori’s arm was a shopping bag with a small package of diapers, and with one hand (the other was holding the child) you manage to grab the package off of your frozen girlfriend. You take the baby to the living room coffee table and lay it out. As much as you’d feel weird to admit it, this wasn’t the first time that you had to change a baby – the amount of time your aunt had puppy-dog-eyed you into changing your cousin years back gave you a kind of proficiency for this kind of thing. But fuck, what was the mayor feeding this kid? It smelled like death. The baby moved a bit, but you steadied it and changed it quickly, leaving it alone for a moment to throw the old diaper in the garbage and wash your hands. When you get back, you decide to call the cops. It’s the only good idea you can think of.

“Iori” you say slowly, moving the girl by her shoulders onto one of the couches. “I’m going to call the police and explain things very simply, okay?”

She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, and so you take that as a tentative “okay”.

You call 911 and an operator picks up in almost immediately. “This is the police, what is your situation”.

“Okay, speak slowly and be very concise” you tell yourself.
[1/2]
>>
>>35659609
[2/2]
“Um” you clear your throat “We have the mayor’s child and – “

“Sir, what do you mean?” the operator’s voice is panicky. She sounds like a girl, somewhat on the younger end.

“The mayor’s baby, we have it and we want to give him back as quickly – “

A click, and you figure you’re transferred.

“Look, you commie scum, we don’t deal with terrorists. Where’s the kid?”

Now on the line is a man, whose voice sounds like gravel and scars. You think that he might have an eyepatch.

“Of course not, we just want to give you the child back and – “

“We will find you. And we will kill you.”
What?

>Try once more to explain
>Hang up and just take the child to the police yourself
>Write in
>>
>>35659631
Execute one of the hostages, to show we mean business.
>>
>>35659631
>Try once more to explain
>>
>>35659631
>try to explain
Keep trying. WE got this.
>>
>>35659631
>Write in
"LOOK"
"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME"
"I JUST WANT THE DESCRIPTION OF THE MAYOR'S FUCKING CHILD, SO I CAN DO MY DUTY AS A GOOD CITIZEN AND GET THE BABY BACK TO HIS FUCKING FATHER"
"I DO NOT WANT TO BE HOUNDED OVER SOME SHITTY MISUNDERSTANDING BY SOME TRIGGERHAPPY ASSHOLE WHO'S BEEN WATCHING TOO MANY ACTION FILMS FOR THE PAST DECADE WHO SLEEPS WITH HIS GUN COLLECTION"
"JUST GIVE ME THE DESCRIPTION OF THE MAYOR'S CHILD, IF IT MATCHES, I'LL GO AND DELIVER HIM TO THE CLOSEST GODDAMN POLICE STATION, IF IT DOESN'T, I'LL DO IT ANYWAY"
>>
>>35659715
WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU KIDNAPPED THE MAYOR'S KID, ASSHOLE
>>
>>35659631
>Try once more to explain

Please Liam Neeson we don't want to kill anyone!
>>
>>35659631
>Try once more to explain
"Put the Mayor on the line and I'll tell him exactly where he can find his child."
>>
>>35659631
>Try once more to explain

"We found the kid outside, changed their diaper, and want to see them reunited with their family."
>>
>>35659631
Hang up, gather Iori and the kid.
"Our tax dollars at work, am I right?

Well, YOUR tax dollars, anyway. I don't work, so..."
>>
Voting is over!
>>
>>35659796
And ourselves reimbursed for the diaper, of course.

Those things aren't cheap, you know.
>>
“Look.” You say decisively. “I don’t have time for this.” What a lie, “My girlfriend found a child abandoned in the park, and took it home to keep it safe. The baby has a little star-shaped birthmark. Does this match the description of the mayor’s kid?”

“Yep, that matches alright, you FUCKING CRIMINAL SCUMBAG. We’re going to get that child back, I swear.”

“Yeah,” you say, tired of this already. “I just want to drop the child off at the closest police station if that’s okay. We’re not even looking for reward money or any-“

“I’m going to drop you, you bitch. Your face has a meeting with my fucking fist.”

“Holy shit dude, what’s your problem? I just want to give the child back to you. You really need to calm down.” Even you, the guy who managed to keep it (mostly) cool when your girlfriend’s cult wanted to kill you, had a limit and this angry dick was finally causing you to reach it.

“IS THAT A THREAT? JUST WAIT, WE HAVE YOUR LOCATION AND WE’RE COMING NOW, FUCKER.”
He hung up. Fuck.

>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.
>Wait for the police
>>
>>35659982
>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.
Let's find someone who wasn't raised by 80's movies
>>
>>35659982
>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.
>>
>>35659982
>>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.
Got to get some idol bodyguards too.
>>
>>35659982
>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.

Hightail it out of here before captain loony drops a drone strike on us.
>>
>>35659982
>Get Iori and head for the police station before they could get to you.
Wow now I know why everyone hates the police.
>>
>>35659982
>Iori, call your publisher
>Get Iori and head for the police station.
>>
There really isn’t much you think about this situation other than that it’s fucked. You somehow managed to get on the bad side of the angry 80’s-action-movie-fanatic of a police higher up who your call got transferred to. How do you work with that?


Thankfully, Iori had gotten over her shock and was rocking the baby to sleep in her arms but you could see in her eyes that she was still reeling. “I’m so sorry, little one.” She spoke to it. The scene made you sad, but right now there was no time for sadness.

“Come on, Iori – we gotta go and take the baby to the police, before they very literally rip it from our cold, dead hands.”

She nods and the two of you walk out of the room and to the elevator. The building today seemed oddly abandoned, and you didn’t pass a single soul on your way to the
aforementioned elevator. Once inside, you rest against the wall and wrap your arm around Iori’s shoulders, offering a silent sign of support.

Of course, shit goes down once you get to the lobby. Nothing is ever easy, is it?

Having called Ivan the Cabbie to take you to the nearest police station, you were prepared to meet him outside in a few minutes. That is, if you had a chance to get outside. You were stopped, at gun point, the second you stepped out of the elevator.

>Hold your hands up and consent to everything
>Question the man holding you up
>Push Iori behind you, and do one of the above.
>>
>>35660255
>Push Iori in front of you
IT WAS ALL HER IDEA!
>>
>>35660255
>Push Iori behind you, and do one of the above.
>Question the man holding you up

Find out if he's with the police, a bounty hunter, Ivan being a dick, or a member of the Usagi Club. We may need to do something heroically dumb soon.
>>
>>35660255
>Question the man holding you up
>Push Iori behind you, and do one of the above.
>>
>>35660255
>Question the man holding you up

"Don't shoot me, you'll wake up the baby.

Now who are you and what do you want?"
>>
Voting is over!
>>
ilu op, you have great taste in idorus
>>
>>35660383
>>35660346
>>35660338

Instinctively you push your girlfriend and the child behind you, taking a slight step forwards towards the black-clad gunman in your face.

“I hope you don’t shoot – you might wake the baby. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Humor tends to work in dangerous situations.

The man says nothing before punching you in the face and brandishing the gun once more towards you. Iori gives a yelp, and with one arm helps pick you up. Blood begins dripping from a wound on your cheek, and you pause for a moment to think that, in the two-ish months you’ve been with Iori, you’ve bled more than you had in years.

Okay, humor *sometimes* works in dangerous situations.

“We vant the child. Give here.” He says, in a distinctively Russian accent.

“No?”

“Yes. Give us baby and you and girl go free.”

Yet again you refuse. From behind the man you see a similar looking man, and a woman dressed the same walking towards you, also armed.

“Please give us child.” The woman says. Her stature and pose make her seem like the brains of the operation. “We leave in park on accident.”

“But this is the mayor’s child.” You say.

“Yes, and we take from maid of mayor. Now we want baby back from you thieves.”
It seems that the woman may not get the oddity of that. You look around and notice the rent-a-cop guards and the concierge are tied up in a corner, gagged and immobile.

“You might want to know that the police are on their way…” you warn.

The Russians suddenly go white(er) and begin murmuring in Russian about something you can’t understand. From outside you here sirens.

>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
>Use the confusion to try and steal a gun from one Russian
>Write-in
>>
>>35660635
>Use the confusion to try and steal a gun from one Russian

No way this could possibly end badly.
>>
>>35660635
holy shit, actual commies.
>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
taking the guns just going to make them jumpy
>>
>>35660635
>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
Officer,we found the babynappers!
>>
>>35660635
>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
Gotta keep that baby and our girlfriend safe
>>
>>35660635
>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
Take cover behind Iori
>>
>>35660635
>Use the confusion to try and get into a better position
>>
>>35660635
>Stall for time, and wake the baby. Hand it over before the cops breach the place. Then, get on the ground with Iori. When combat's done, start talking to the cops in an accent.

80's Action Cop won't recognize our voice if we talk in a bad accent!
>>
Voting is over!
>>
Using the confusion of the fast-talking Russians, you grab Iori’s hand and pull her, slowly, towards an area closer to the doors of the lobby. Somehow they don’t realize yet that you’ve moved towards the large glass doors that would lead to the growing collection of police cars and officers outside, their sirens finished blaring but their officers spilling into the street.

Out of one car you see a very, very large bald man with facial tattoos and an eye-patch and it clicks that he was probably the dick with whom you spoke earlier. What a cock.

With Iori as your look out you go ahead and hold your hands up while facing outside, and then drop them and try to walk out. But nothing is ever easy. As it turns out, the Russians have locked the door, and one of them caught you trying to get out.

“Where do you think you are going?” he asks.
You shrug, and then place yourself besides Iori, still in full view of the cops. You don’t think the Russians will do anything drastic with the police right outside.

“WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED” says a cop with a bullhorn outside. “COME OUT WITH THE CHILD.”

The woman shakes her head. Outside, more police officers begin arming themselves with guns.

The baby, then, starts crying its loud, siren-like cry and the men cover their ears while the woman looks down with contempt.

“Shut up child or I vill.”

Iori does her best to comfort the child, but it never stops wailing and the woman reaches down, towards your girl and the child you two are trying to protect.

>You’ve never hit a girl before, but you’re gonna sock a bitch
>Stand up between them
>Write in
>>
>>35661017
>You’ve never hit a girl before, but you’re gonna sock a bitch
>>
>>35661017
>>Stand up between them
>>
>>35661017
>Stand up between them
>>
>>35661017
>You’ve never hit a girl before, but you’re gonna sock a bitch
>>
>>35661017
>Try to remember the basics of CQC
Too bad we never learned CQC
>>
Voting is over!
>>
Without a word you rise and place yourself between the Russian broad and Iori.

“Ha! What is weak man like you do to me?”
She begins to reach around you and grab Iori and the baby once again, so you do all that you think you can do – you punch the lady in the stomach. She bends over and holds her stomach in her arms, grunting from the pain. Really, you have to admire your punching skills. First the burly guard on your first meeting with Iori, and now an angry Russian woman. Maybe you have more strength than you thought.

Now, you’ve never hit a girl before. Never really thought you’d need to. But in a situation like this, what choice did you have?

“You bitch!” she yells, and her lackeys run towards you, each ready to do her bidding and lay you out. The woman raises her gun right at you, and Iori sucks in a breath, grabbing your shirt.

“I kidnap child. Do you think I won’t shoot adult?”

Good question, but one that needed no answer from you. The woman says something quickly in Russian and before you can even try to react one of the men shoots you in the leg. In the goddamn leg. FUCK. Blood doesn’t even try to hold itself back, it begins pouring out of the hole in your thigh, and you fall on your ass, shocked.

“Protag!” Iori yells, and she grabs your arm, pulling you close to her.

“Now, give us child or girl gets it next!”

But you never get to respond, because

>You see a familiar cab rushing head on towards the door
>You see the eye-patch cop walking towards the door
>Write in
>>
>>35661146
Caring Quail Cocks?
Yeah. Definitely Caring Quail Cocks.
>>
Oh, and if anyone doesn't have it but does want it, my twitter:
https://twitter.com/Chromatique_GM
>>
>>35661315
>>You see a familiar cab rushing head on towards the door
>>You see the eye-patch cop walking towards the door
Both. Of course.
>>
>>35661315
>You see the eye-patch cop walking towards the door
>>
>>35661315
>You see a familiar cab rushing head on towards the door, with an eye-patch cop in the passenger seat.
>>
>>35661315
>>You see the eye-patch cop walking towards the door
>>
>>35661315
>You see the eye-patch cop walking towards the door
We're going to be BEST FRIENDS now!
>>35661317
Probably something like that.
>>
Accidentally idol rape quest when?
>>
>>35661371
>>You see a familiar cab rushing head on towards the door, with an eye-patch cop in the passenger seat.
10/10

>>35661315
This.
>>
>>35661315
>>You see a familiar cab rushing head on towards the door, with eye-patch cop riding shotgun
>>
>>35661343
>>35661315
FUCKING THIS
>>
>>35661371
Is it weirded that that's what I was thinking of? I just want them to be bros.

Anyways, this.
>>
Voting is over!
>>
>>35661391
So would the Idol be doing the raping or would the Idol be raped?
>>
>>35661489
Idols raping Protag, and Lori misuderstanding
>>
>>35661489
Does it matter? I just wanna get protagonist laid.
>>
>>35661489
it would be as misunderstanding that snowballs into a high speed car chase from fans in rape vans ( because of the irony) that gets cleared up before we Protag gets ripped apart by an angry mob? shot executioner style by the Idol company black ops security.
but thats just a guess
>>
>>35661500
Accidental Idol Harem Quest
>>
>>35661489
Accidental Idol Imageboard Quest
>>
>>35661405
>>35661394
>>35661371
>>35661343
>>35661409

It’s such an odd sight that, truly, you at first can’t understand what you’re seeing. A yellow cab, one that looked very much like Ivan’s, had skidded to a stop in front of Eye-patch Dick, and the cop jumped right into the passenger’s seat. Even stranger, of course, was the very fact that they were RACING RIGHT TOWARDS THE GLASS DOORS OF THE GODDAMN LOBBY.

Despite the pain in your leg, you half-sprint up from your position and drag Iori up with you, and then pull her and the child as you get the three of you under the cover of the concierge desk just in time for the cab and the cop to crash right through the doors, scattering the Russians to the side, and hitting one of the men dead on. He was stuck under the car, which stopped in the center of the lobby.

You watch as Ivan steps out, face as stone as normal but with eyes ablaze like tiny fires in his skull. He’s angry, no doubt about that. His leather glove covered knuckles get cracked as he walks towards the other man, while Eye-patch pulls out his own gun.

“Get down on the ground, everyone!” he yells. The woman stares back and points her gun.

“No.” she says “My boss says baby is worth money. We need to get child to our boss” She fires a bullet at the cop, but misses completely.

Meanwhile, Ivan has reached the other man, and the fury in his eyes has the bad Russian shaking in his boots.

“Pieter” Ivan says. “You pay for making trouble with friends.”

Friends? He considers you and Iori his friends? That’s so sweet of him.

And yet, the sweet moment is ended rather quickly, as Ivan mercilessly beats the man. He doesn't hold back any of his punches, doesn't lessen a single kick. Iori shields the child’s eyes, and you shield hers from the scene before you.

>Stay where you are, let them handle this
>Offer your help
>Write in
>>
>>35661651
>Offer your help

Grab some club like object and beat up a Russian.
>>
>>35661651
>Stay where you are, let them handle this
>>
>>35661669
>Offer your help
Hand Ivan the club, you'd be more sympathetic if they didn't shoot you.
>>
>>35661651
>Stay where you are, let them handle this
What would we do, wheeze at them?
>>
>>35661651
>>Stay where you are, let them handle this
>>
>>35661626
Now that's going too far.
>>
>>35661736
Accidental Idol Sucked-into-a-fantasy-world-and-now-I'm-a-hero-on-a-quest-to-defeat-the-demon-lord Quest.
>>
>>35661777
Be hilarious if our NEET became competent because it was just like a video game he played. Then once they are free he goes right back to normal.
>>
>>35661777
That sounds amazing.
>>
>>35661777
Trips confirms.
>>
>>35661777
Accidental Idol VRMMO Hacking Quest.

you and your Idoru accidentally hack your favorite VRMMO which is incredibly popular! You must set things right or suffer dire consequences should the Almighty Programmers catch you and ban you for life!
>>
>>35661720
>>35661713
>>35661697

Although you wonder for a second if you should get up and help them, you remember the bullet in your leg. And your NEET physical fitness. And this morning’s failed attempts at even the slightest bit of normal exercise. You weren’t really set to help anyone kill a fly, let alone beat up some hardy Russians.

“It’ll be okay now.” You say to Iori, who nods. When a speck of “Pieter’s” blood splatters onto your face she giggles and wipes it off with her thumb. It was rather nice, you admit.

Not too much time had passed before Ivan walks behind the desk and wordlessly offers a hand to Iori and the child, and then to you. He helps support you with an arm around your shoulder, because the bullet in your leg isn’t really letting you, you know, walk. You can see Eye-patch handcuffing the Russian broad, while a medic checks and attends to the guy beneath the cab. The worst, you hoped, was finally over.

You are taken to an ambulance outside of the building, where an EMT begins checking over the three of you, child first, and then attends to the bullet lodged into your thigh. Iori holds your hand as you wince in pain from the way they dress the wound.

Ivan hangs around for a bit without saying anything. He simply stands tall by the ambulance, seemingly still on alert. When he’s satisfied with what he sees he nods to you and then walks off to who knows where.

Following the exit of Ivan is the entrance of Eye-patch, who looks just as menacing up close as you’d expect.

“I’m sure you punks have an explanation for the SHIT you pulled today.”

>Explain to him
>Have Iori give him the baby
>Write in
>>
>>35661977
>>35661777
No promises, but I really like these 2. I may have some combination of the ideas as the first multi-thread quests I do (as in, not just one-shots)
>>
>>35661978
"Yeah, we picked up a baby, got threatened over the phone by people who didn't know what they were doing, and decided to go hand in the mayor's baby the police."
"Like any true, upstanding, normal citizen should."
>>
>>35661978
>Have Iori give him the baby
Then
>Explain to him
>>
>>35661978
>Explain to him

>>35662002
Time to transcend dimensions.
>>
>>35661978
>>Explain to him
>Have Iori give him the baby
>>
>>35661978
>Have Iori give him the baby
>Explain to him
in that order
>>
>>35661978
"Who you callin' punk, punk?"
>>
>>35662002
>Full-quest
Oh my Jesus please.
>>
>>35662039
I'd continue the one-shots after that, but I could probably do it as a 3-5 thread quest. Maybe. We'll have to see if/when I decide to do it.
>>
Voting is over!
>>
Before you deal with this dick, you have to level the playing field a bit. Cut off his balls, as it was. So you look Iori in the eyes, and then flick them to the cop and back. She nods, getting your meaning (which makes you pretty happy, that you two are close enough for that now) and shoves the mayor’s child into the large hands of the angry cop before you. Let’s see the cock yell at you now!

“Wanna know what happened?” You start, narrowing your eyes at the man, “Iori here found a child, seemingly abandoned in the park. She brought him home, we cared for him, and called you to see about our options for giving him back safely. Like any good, law abiding citizen would do. It’s just a shame that those Russians and some people who can’t do their jobs correctly made it so hard for us to do what was right.”

The cop looks at you hard, but has no response to your (totally correct) accusations. He purses his lips in thought, and then pats you hard on the injured thigh in a sign of faux-respect and you suck in your breath in pain.

“You’ll have to give a more official account tomorrow at the station. Why don’t you rest that leg today, though? We’ll just deal with the commies ourselves.”

Finally you and Iori are left alone, while the EMT goes to help stabilize the man hit by the cab.

“Are you okay?” she asks, concerned.

“A little sore, but I’ve been in worse.” You try to sound cool but the pained crack in your throat prevents that.

“I’m really sorry about all of this. If I didn’t bring the baby home, then – “

“Then it would’ve been held on ransom by some Russians. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

A police officer walks up to you, carrying a message. “From the Mayor” he says. “She invites you to a dinner tonight, for saving her child.”

>Accept
>Decline
>>
>>35662336
>Accept

Awesome, free food. No proper NEET could resist.
>>
>>35662336
>Accept
>>
>>35662336
>>Accept
>>
>>35662336
>Accept
No reason not to
inb4 we end up insulting and destroying everything he holds dear & runs us out of town
>>
>>35662336
>Accept
Also think of the press, especially for Iori
>Famous idol and her boyfriend save child from kidnappers
>>
>>35662336
Oh god.
There's gonna be people there.

>Decline
>Decline
>DECLINE
>DECLINE DECLINE DECLINE DECLINE.
>>
Voting is over!
>>
As much as you’d like to just crawl into bed beside Iori and fall asleep, ending this already-long-even-though-it’s-only-noon day in its tracks, Iori accepts before you even have a chance to discuss it. Idols and their stupid love for parties….

“Tell him that we’d love to go.”

A few hours pass, and you find yourself and Iori in the dining room of the city’s mayor, a near feast laid out for you on the table. You may have been a bit iffy earlier, but free food is nothing to complain about. You’re decked out in a suit that fits you pretty well, but because of your injury you’ve stayed in your chair. Iori is in her element here, and the wonderful little dress she pulled out of Idol Hammerspace looks great on her.

“I truly must extend a thanks to you two for saving my child.” The mayor begins, pouring the three of you some wine for a toast. Inside you cringe, hoping to god that your idol does indeed not get drunk tonight.

“No worries.” You say after finishing a bite of your delicious steak.

“We just wanted to do the right thing, regardless of whether the baby was yours or not.” Iori explained.

The mayor and Iori discussed the day back and forth, and eventually went into a topic of fancy dinners, while you zoned out for a bit. In the other seats of the table were the mayor’s other family members – 2 sons, a daughter, his wife, and his mother. They were all dressed up and nearly regal looking, and you feel out of place instantly. All you want is this party to end.

[1/2]
>>
>>35662534
I told you there'd be people there.
>>
>>35662534
[2/2]

After the meal was over, you and Iori were more or less mobbed by reporters outside. Word spreads quick, you thought. God, there were a lot of reporters. You could feel yourself itching, looking around nervously at all of the questioning, the begging faces staring up at you from the eager bodies they belonged to. They wanted your story, and you wanted their silence. Camera flashes blinded you and gave you a small headache, and you felt as though the mental fortitude to withstand this Press Assault was something idols have to be born with in order to keep their sanity.

“Is it true you found the child in the park?”

“Were you working for the Russians in the beginning?”

“What are your sizes, Iori!”

A bunch of questions were hurled like spears at you and your girl, but she handled the press like a champion, giving out a good explanation of the day that passed. There were way too many people for you, and your leg injury wasn’t helping. But the reporters never stopped asking things. You could see the headline now: “Idol and Boyfriend Russian to save Mayor’s child”, stupid pun and all. Oh well, you couldn’t do much about it.

Back at home, you finally sink into the mattress and feel the weight of the world flow right out of you. Iori lays herself beside you, quiet and calm. Your leg throbs, but otherwise you feel fine.

It is night, and through the same windows you cursed earlier you can see the stars, and the bone white moon above. The moonlight bathes you and Iori calmly, and you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep. Iori’s deep breathing lulls you totally into the land of dreams, and you fall asleep hoping that the light of the sun doesn’t cut your eyes. But that was for worrying about in the morning.

END
>>
>>35662711
:D
>>
>>35662711
daw
>>
Thanks for playing and reading tonight, everyone!

Questions/Comments/Concerns are welcome!
>>
>>35662797
thanks for running again, looking forward to the next one.
>>
archived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Accidental%20Idol%20Crime%20Quest
>>
>>35662853
No problem, I hope you have a good night.

>>35662740
>>35662781
cuteness is my weakness

>>35662876
Thank you, anon.
>>
>>35662711
Good end!

>>35662797
Thanks for running! Can't wait for all the Accidental Idol problems.
>>
>>35662892
>Thanks for running! Can't wait for all the Accidental Idol problems.
And thanks for reading! Unless I'm swamped with something terrible next week, we'll have a thread the same time in the same place.



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