>>35550882
...Well, most of the time. The pair of iron-clad manacles that adorn your wrists and leering stares of the morning courtroom suggest this time might turn out differently. You sit at the defendant's desk, surrounded by groupies, with your arms hung behind the bench and feet carelessly draped upon the desk before you. Some kind of magical construct in a feathered wig and judges robe, a Golem you wager, stands trial over you. Other creatures stand by in officers garb, keeping a close watch on your person. The court is littered with the victims and witnesses of your latest rampage, a fact you feel compelled to object to, but were you to remove everyone affected by your antics it'd be an empty building. Your entourage is some small comfort in this oppressive atmosphere.

The judge bangs his gavel. Your head echoes the sound. You never did deal well with hangovers...

"Today we stand trial for this child of the Biago family." The jury regards you and you leer back.

"You stand accused against our fair city for in-numerous crimes, ranging from forgery, robbery, an attempted lobotomy, solicitation, prostration, of staggering duration-" You wink at the judge.

"Public intoxication, and illegal gyration, suspected of arson, burglary, and larson, probation violation, stealing crustaceans, perjury, surgery, aaand... fraud." The list of your crimes hangs from from the judge's desk and stretches out over the floor. The rustling of paper and tapping of the stenographer is all that can be heard in the court.

> That's a new record.
> Perjury? I haven't even threatened the jury yet.
> It wasn't me, your honour, it was the one-armed man.
> Can I plead insanity yet?

>>35550882
>> Perjury? I haven't even threatened the jury... yet.

>>35550894
> Can I plead insanity yet?

>>35550894
> Perjury? I haven't even threatened the jury yet.

>illegal gyration
I plead the 5th.

>>35550894
>> Perjury? I haven't even threatened the jury yet.

>>35550894
>Hey! That monkey had it coming!

>>35551090
>>35551205
>>35551387
"Perjury?" You remark, incredulously, "I haven't even threatened the jury... yet." The sparkle from your eyes manages to intimidate them, despite your bound state.

The golem adjusts a pair of horn-rimmed glasses. "It says here you were finally brought to justice at an attempted robbery at Enclave's first National Bank. According to the officers present, you had paused mid-heist to..."

> Shoot up the place for no reason. [Arsenal]
> Flirt with the hostages. [Charismatic]
> Dance to the beat of the alarm bells. [Flexible]
> Construct a body-double made of money. [Cunning]

>>35551434
> Flirt with the hostages.
"Hey there babe, you come here often?"

>>35551434
>> Construct a body-double made of money. [Cunning]
"do I look like i'm made of money?

>>35551434
> Flirt with the hostages. [Charismatic]

>>35551434
> Flirt with the hostages. [Charismatic]

>>35551434
>> Flirt with the hostages. [Charismatic]
I rushed to click the link on the twitter only to find it wasn't the magical girl boy quest. Dammit.

>>35551606
>magical girl boy quest
>not just saying mahou shonen

>>35551434
>> Construct a body-double made of money. [Cunning]

>>35551457
>>35551516
>>35551539
>>35551606
>That's on tomorrow.

"...flirt with the hostages." The golem finishes. What can you say? Sometimes the mood strikes you. Jokes on them, it actually worked.

"After that, you decided to confront the officers out front, wielding..."

> A pair of cash registers taped to your hands [Unarmed]
> A hostage as a club [Two-Handed]
> Two tommy-guns, one under each arm [Dual-Wield]
> A bag of snakes [Throwing]

>>35551802
> A bag of snakes [Throwing]

>>35551802
> Two tommy-guns, one under each arm [Dual-Wield]
And a seduced hostage on each shoulder.

>>35551802
>> Two tommy-guns, one under each arm [Dual-Wield]
Why are succubi out of a job?

>>35551802
>> A bag of snakes [Throwing]
"You get snake, You get a snake, EVERYBODY GETS A POISONOUS SNAKE!"

>>35551802
>> A bag of snakes [Throwing]
Stolen from the vivarium of one of our rivals' mansions, obviously.

>>35551802
> Two tommy-guns, one under each arm [Dual-Wield]

>>35551894
>On account a' dem flapper dames lookin' so HAWT.
>>35551828
>>35551889
>>35551898
>>35552023
>>35552033
>Tied currently for Dual Wielding Tommy-guns, and Throwing a bag of snakes.

>>35552071
Clearly we should dual-wield tommy-guns that fire snakes.

>>35552071
Breaking tie in favor of Dual Wielding then

obviously we dual wielded snakes as nun chucks

>>35551889
I still want this.

>>35552071
Those succubi should just become flappers themselves and do the Charleston, then!

>>35552083
can i change my vote to this?

File: woo!.gif (76 KB, 320x240)

76 KB GIF

>>35552116
>Woah, calm ya' tits. Give a man a heart attack wit' somethin' like dat.
>>35552083
>>35552089
>>35552101
>Dual-wielding it is.

"...walking out directly towards them, holding a tommy-gun under each arm and a 'broad', as you called it, on each shoulder. The only reason you failed is because you had attempted to stuff snakes into the ammunition cartridges." He reads off. The faces of the court are dumbfounded.

"In my defence, they fit." You object. "They just didn't shoot."

"Once you realised you were out-gunned, you attempted to flee by..."

> Digging a tunnel. [Strong]
> Scaling a lamppost. [Athletic]
> Trying to make your enemies heads explode. [Focused]
> Driving into oncoming traffic. [Driver]

>>35552228
>> Driving into oncoming traffic. [Driver]

>>35552228
>> Trying to make your enemies heads explode. [Focused]
oh god i'm crying from laughter

>>35552228
>> Digging a tunnel. [Strong]

>>/battle tendency style shenanigans.
part 2 is my favorite part!

>>35552228
> Trying to make your enemies heads explode. [Focused]

>>35552228
> Driving into oncoming traffic. [Driver]
Makes sense.

Obviously it should be
> Trying to make your enemies heads explode. [Focused]

>>35552261
>>35552271
>>35552339
> So far attempted psychic powers is winning. I think.

File: joseph and caesar.jpg (147 KB, 1280x720)

147 KB JPG

>>35552267
Joseph best JoJo.

>>35552339
to clarify, you want
> [Focused]
right?

>>35552228
> Driving into oncoming traffic. [Driver]

>>35552383
Yes

>>35552228
>> Driving into oncoming traffic. [Driver]

>>35552246
>>35552261
>>35552271
>>35552339
>>35552391
>>35552441
>Tied again. First one to reply after this is the tie-breaker.

>>35552501
oi driving m8

>>35552501
> already voted
so did we try to throw a car at them with our minds or use the force to guide our driving?

>>35552518
>We're behind the wheel then.

"...by stealing a police car and driving away, only to plow into oncoming traffic and cause the biggest accident in Enclave's history." The crowd rabbles but you clap in celebration.

"And my teachers said I'd never do anything of note." You chuckle and the judge groans in agony.

"Oh, and while we're at it, since you declined to answer this question the first time, would you please state your name and occupation for the record?" The construct asks, flipping down its spectacles.

> Sure thing. My name is [Write In].
> I'm one hell of a [guy/dame].
> And I'm the [Muscle/Face/Brains] of the whole damn Mob!

>>35552560
> Sure thing. My name is Luca Martello.
> I'm one hell of a... indeterminate gender.
> And I'm the Face of the whole damn Mob!

>>35552560
>surprise mid-thread chargen
dropped

>>35552560
> Sure thing. My name is Dick Richard.
> I'm one hell of a guy.
> And I'm the Face of the whole damn Mob!

>>35552605
This whole damn thread's been chargen, mate.

>>35552560
Jaqi "the ripper" Scarlete
dame
Face

>>35552560
> Sure thing. My name is Ashley Lucci
> I'm one hell of a guy
> And I'm the face of the whole damn Mob!

>>35552599
>>35552615
>>35552627
>>35552643
So unanimous on Face, and victory for male? Should we decide between Luca, Dick, and Ashley, then?

>>35552599
>>35552605
>>35552615
>>35552619
>>35552627
>>35552643
>Well looks like we're the face. Just the name and gender.

>1) Luca Martello, Female
>2) Dick Richard, Male
>3) Jaqi Scarlette, Female
>4) Ashley Lucci, Male

>>35552738
>2) Dick Richard, Male

>>35552738
>>4) Ashley Lucci, Male

>>35552560
> I'm one hell of a [dame].
Face

Not sure about name

>>35552738
>3) Jaqi Scarlette, Female

>>35552738
>1) Luca Martello, Female

>>35552738
>4) Ashley Lucci, Male

>>35552738
>1) Luca Martello, Female
Don't you run another quest?

>>35552738
>1) Luca Martello, Female

>>35552738
>1) Luca Martello, Female

>>35552822
>>35552829
>>35552836
>>35552849
> Luca Martello, hell of a gal, it is.

>>35552829
>Yeah, on /d/.

>>35552874
It's weird, voting against the option you wrote in yet it still winning.

File: LDCRUHh.jpg (205 KB, 1440x810)

205 KB JPG

You lean forward on the bench, chains a-crack, lips a-smack, and summarise thus.

"Sure thing, ya bag a' rocks. The name's Luca Martello, and I'm one hell of a dame." You smirk and shrug, with expression smug. "I'm the face of this whole mob. No-one can resist, they simply enlist, and I hate to persist with this trivial tryst, but I've booze and groupies galore feeling sorely missed." With that, you collapse back into your bench.

The golem hangs its head. "I honestly don't know why we're even having this trial. You haven't even attempted to plead guilty, you've been BRAGGING about your crimes, hell," he chucks the gavel to the side, "Your lawyer hasn't even shown up!"

> Aren't you people supposed to appoint me a lawyer?
> I plead innocent.
> Can you not be so loud?
> Meh, I'm just waiting for Uncle Bingo to bail me out.

>>35553063
> Aren't you people supposed to appoint me a lawyer?

>>35553063

>>35553063
>> Aren't you people supposed to appoint me a lawyer?
It's so weird imagining Lisa Lisa saying all that. It's great.

>>35553063
>I plead innocent.
because

>>35553063
"A lawyer? I AM my lawyer."

>>35553063

> Aren't you people supposed to appoint me a lawyer?

sounds like a mistrial to me

>>35553063
>>35553126
This is perfect.

>>35553090
>>35553106
>>35553126
>>35553159
>>35553166
>Well we're going with the laywer. Do we want to claim a mistrial or claim lawyership?
>1) Mistrial
>2) I AM THE LAW

>>35553063
>>35553126
>>35553166
then proceed to point out breaches of procedure making it a mistrial

>>35553183
>2) I AM THE LAW

>>35553183
>1) Mistrial
we got better shit to do like kid nape this judges creator and have him make a demon version to be our lawyer for the next time we get into this court

>>35553183
>>35553199
Are there breeches to point out?

>>35553183
>1) Mistrial

>>35553265
conservation of detail my friend

>>35553305
Are you talking about
>illegal gyration

>>35553265
Well I assume SOMEONE is wearing pants..

>>35553227
She should be molded after a succubus and be the main mob laywer

>>35553350
stop it i can't breath XD

>>35553350
> You should never assume.

You scrape your ear with the tip of a pinkie and tut. "Tsk, tsk, aren't you people supposed to appoint me a lawyer?" You ask, face a-grin. The judge looks like he can barely contain himself.

"You claimed you were representing yourself and 'didn't no damn lawyer'." He calmly asserts. You blink, then quickly rise to your feet, heels clacking on the courtroom desk.

"Oh right, I am my lawyer. No-one better." An accusing finger you thrust at the judge. "I call for a mis-trial, on the grounds of conservation of detail!" You announce.

"That's not a thing!" He retorts. You snap your fingers.

"Shoot."

The jury departs to convene on the evidence and you lie back on your bench, groaning. Just then, the doors to the courtroom slam open with in a thunderous burst, and a group of well-dressed, black-suited gentlemen enter promptly. They bring about them an air of unease and a demoralising aura. To the rabble anyway, to you, they're your pals. The man in front, short and stubby, with a tremendous beard and hat two sizes big for his head.

[1/2]

>>35553425
Why not get an actual succubus? We could probably find one that happens to be in school as a barrister and is having trouble meeting tuition because she can't get any escort jobs on the side.

>>35553435
>shitposting

>>35553460
"Uncle Bingo!" You cry out, hopping up from the bench and launching into a hug on the head of the group. However, being still chained, all you do is accidentally end up choking the poor man. He beats on your back with a thick fist.

"-URG, let me go, you - HRNGH, crazy bitch!" He grunts through strained breath. You chuckle and stand back, patting him on the shoulder as he kneels to the ground, gasping for air.

"I was wondering when you were gonna show up, old man. I've been waiting for hooou~rs." You complain, pouting.

"You've been here 10 minutes, Martello!" The don retorts, returning to his feet. Well it felt like a lot longer to you. A lack of booze-addled violence tends to skew your perception of time. You slap him on the shoulder once more and grin.

"Heh, whatever. Come on, let's get outta here."

"Not so far, kid. We ain't here to bail you out." He says with a stern look. You turn on the spot to face him, your expression full of questions. This is... new. Bingo always pulls the strings to get you a 'not-guilty' verdict. Every time. You're the star child of Biago, after all. He's gotta be pulling your leg.

> Heh, nice joke Bingo. I'll laugh my ass off later.
> Your ears fulla wax, old man? Bail. Me. Out!
> Ah, c'mon. You came all this way just to slap me in the face?
> If it's money, don't sweat it. I'm good for it.
> You bearded, little fucker! [Attack]

>>35553567
>> Ah, c'mon. You came all this way just to slap me in the face?
Play it cool. Our Uncle has a plan, we know it.

>>35553567
> You bearded, little fucker! [Attack]

>>35553567
>> Your ears fulla wax, old man? Bail. Me. Out!

>>35553567
>> If it's money, don't sweat it. I'm good for it.

>>35553567
> Ah, c'mon. You came all this way just to slap me in the face?

>>35553567
>> Ah, c'mon. You came all this way just to slap me in the face?
>> If it's money, don't sweat it. I'm good for it.
these don't look exclusive, but if they are, top one.

>>35553567
>If it's money, don't sweat it. I'm good for it.

File: tumblr_lfx4x0b5Dd1qe3by9.gif (122 KB, 350x197)

122 KB GIF

>>35553594
>>35553640
>>35553718
>>35553742
>>35553744
"Ah, c'mon Uncle!" You chortle to the dwarven don. "You came all this way just to slap me in the face? Look, if it's money, don't sweat it. I'm good for it." You wave your hand nonchalantly, manacles clinking in the air. Biago's temper rises.

"It's not about money." Biago adjusts his tie and retrieves a cigar from his pocket. One of his posse strikes a match and the cigar is lit. "We're not here to bail you out, we're here to make sure you stay in. You're a wildcard, kid, and not one I like in my deck. You'll be a lot easier to keep track of in prison." He blows a tuft of cigar out smoke in your face.

This bastard. After all you've done to... for him, he's just gonna let you rot? You thought this mob meant something. Something besides a license to beat the crap out of random people. Something that kept you all together. Something... something...

You're not sure what that something was, but its probably important enough to keep you out of the slammer.

> Appeal to Biago. [Friendly/Threaten/Beg] [1d100]
> Turn away. You have nothing more to say.

>>35553811
> Appeal to Biago. [Friendly] [1d100]
If friendly fails, then threaten as hard as possible.

File: ladd russo.gif (409 KB, 500x280)

409 KB GIF

>>35553811
>> Turn away. You have nothing more to say.
So basically we're their Ladd Russo. I can dig it.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>35553857
Here's my roll sorry, forgot it.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>35553811
> Appeal to Biago
"You don't want me here? Well if you want to bore yourself to death... If you flip this stooge the bird I can be out of your beard by sundown"

>>35553885
FIRST ROLL

>>35553883
Guh, I meant to choose
> Appeal to Biago. [Friendly] [1d100]

>>35553885
Oh my. Good thing we chose female I guess.

>>35553894
Not great, but at least I'm not >>35553885

>>35553914
Orange Is The New Black Quest here we come.

>>35553811
seconding this >>35553894
(1d100)

>>35554079
(1d100)

File: NRtWX3Y.jpg (131 KB, 1440x810)

131 KB JPG

>>35553857
>>35553885
>>35553894
>>35553907
>>35554079
> Remember, to roll dice put in the options field dice+1d100.
> Appealing, friendly. Crit fail.

He's a little bastard, but you need him. Otherwise you'll be spending all your time behind bars instead of inside them. You pump out your chest and slide a hand seductively up your side.

"Ah, come on, we're family, Bingo." You express, speaking with the sweetest tone you can muster.

"That's not my name." You pat him on the head.

"What would you do without me, huh? No-one there to lie, cheat, gamble, and steal wantonly. You'd be bored out of your little dwarfy head." You boop him on the nose with a manicured finger and smile. The feeling isn't mutual. "And I'm so trust-worthy. I never even told the judge here about how many other nosy assholes you threw into the void, or all the racketeering and extortion, or even that you're blackmailing the mayor for weird sex stuff!"

The court is silent for a minute. You snap your fingers.

"AH SHIT!"

[1/2]

>>35554162
Biago sighs, releasing a plume of musty cigar-smoke.

"Sorry kid. You were good for business once." He removes the cigar and shrugs. "But you're too much of a hazard now. Count your blessings we ain't offing you here. You'll be safe behind bars." He comments. The faceless suits behind him (actually faceless, they're animated clothing) stand between you and the doors, weapons ready at their sides. Biago isn't fucking around here, he really wants you off the streets.

The judge slams his gavel and you flinch. Glancing back at the bench, the jury has already returned. They were gone for less than a minute. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what comes next...

"We find the defendant guilty." One of the jury, an old goblin, states. Ah shit.

> Resign yourself.
> Appeal to the court. [Friendly/Threaten/Beg] [d100]
> "You'll never take me alive!" Run [d100]
> Use your trump card... [Select Trait]

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>35554191
> Appeal to the court. [Friendly/Threaten/Beg] [d100]
> Use your trump card... [Select Trait]
Face, charm, something.

>>35554191
>> Resign yourself.
Because prison quest would be kinda cool

>>35554220
This. I guess

>>35554191
> Use your trump card... [Select Trait]
For the last 8 years you have been secretly protecting your portal magic, deep down you knew this day would come. Jump through a portal to safety, weep for the family you've lost.

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>35554220
Aren't you supposed to pick one?

> Threaten the court.

Might as well stick to type.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>35554191
>> Use your trump card... [the ability to whistle so horribly it drives all who hear it insane]

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>35554191
>> Use your trump card... Blackmail
Not even our clearly amazing charisma and connection to Biago are enough to keep us as THE face of the mob.
We pay attention for a few minutes and use our leverage to get out

(did I need to roll?)

> When I said 'trait' I probably should've specified one of the things you chose earlier (Charisma, Dual-Wielding, or Driving)

> Driving probably won't help.

>>35554383
Charisma.
So 78+Trump card charisma

>>35554383
You mean a random car won't burst through the courtroom wall?

>>35554191
Heh, I've noticed only the Jury has found us guilty so far.

Judges don't have to give a shit about that.

>>35554383
We may need that for an escape later

>>35554460
sure, "random"

>>35554220
>>35554276
>>35554323
>>35554405
You turn to the judge, welling up your eyes and throwing your hair to the breeze. Pouty lips and dimpled cheeks adorning a sad face in distress.

"This can't be happening... someone as innocent and virtuous as me, brown down by the scum of society and moral decay." A hand thrown back in awe. "Fine, convict me if you can, but know that I go down to the depths of hell with my soul intact."

>>35554481
You figure even if the jury thinks you're a crook, the judge might still be putty in your hands. Or clay. Or whatever golems are made of. "The jury; those vile cretins, think nothing of me, but surely someone as justly moral as yourself, most honourable homunuli, can see that am not a bad person, simply a girl on a dangerous path. One that you may have saved me from." Your speech is passionate and filled with sorrow. The judge, jury, and even court-goers seem suaded by your docile tones. They should be; this is the fifth time you've practiced a variation of this speech. Works every time.

"Well... I suppose the law is there to put the truly horrible people away..." You grin to yourself, but manage to restrain your celebrations right this moment. Biago looks absolutely furious.

"Oh, you CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?" He thunders. With the flick of his wrist, the zootsuit atuomatons raise various guns. "She's the guiltiest person here!"

> Shit. Jail-time.
> Convince Biago [dice+1d100] [Hard]
> Jump out the window.
> Write in.

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>35554633
> Convince Biago [dice+1d100] [Hard]
I'm sorry.

>>35554633
>> Jump out the window.

>>35554633
>> Jump out the window.
there was a window to be jumped out this whole time? why didn't you say so?

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>35554633
>Convince Biago [dice+1d100]
Let's talk somewhere without a fucking stenographer eh?... there's a few thing you REALLY want me to clear up with people

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>35554633
>> Convince Biago [dice+1d100] [Hard]

>>35554633
>> Jump out the window.
Time to find a car!

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>35554633
> Convince Biago [dice+1d100] [Hard]

>>35554633
"Biago, you're admitted your own defeat, if you strike me down here, I will only grow even stronger as a thorn in your side."

>>35554633
> Jump out the window.
Also, add in >>35554777
Gunning us down in the middle of a court session after we just convinced the audience of our innocence would be very hard to get away with

>>35554633
>> Jump out the window.
time for the time honored joestar secret family technique.

for a hot second i thought trump card meant like 「zippers」 or something

>>35554777
Are you voting for Convince?

>>35554858
No, I'm just posting it as something to say.
Since right now, he's under surveillance, alone in the act, with an audience who think he's the devil.
There would have to be so much bribery getting out of that, it would make killing us worse than keeping us alive

File: timetosplit.gif (1.79 MB, 315x177)

1.79 MB GIF

>>35554701
>>35554728
>>35554767
>>35554813
>>35554843

>>35554899
> You assume he's threatening Luca.

Well you've spent enough time here for one day. But in order to get out of here unscathed, you'll have to use one of your most ancient and devious tactics. A sure-fire way to solve any situation, passed down through the ages...

"Later, suckers!" You cry out, dashing towards the window and leaping through the glass, cackling like a mad-woman as you go.

"ACK!" You hear Biago exclaim in surprise, his cigar launching out from his face as the sound of glass shattering fills the room.

You cascade through the window of the courthouse, shattered glass blasting out ahead of you into the streets below. Way below.

Ah shit, was the courthouse always this high?

Plummeting into an alleyway, you manage to break your fall on an open dumpster. You hear a crack, and feel sudden, intense pain. Better than a smear on the sidewalk, you suppose, writhing. The screams and shouts of the courthouse above you ring in your ears. Pain threatens to consume your conscious mind...

"What the-?" A high-pitched voice yelps. Did you land on a squeaky toy or something? You open your eyes and glance up at the source of the sound, and see a tiny woman with insectoid wings and a faint glow floating above you. A Pixie. It's hard to discern, but she looks cute. A wide-shouldered cloak hangs from her diminutive shoulders, ending in a puffy pair of pants, a beret-like hat adorns her head, and her golden hair is beautifully woven. She glances up at the window you fell from and grimaces.

"H-hey, are y-you still alive? That's one hell of a fall." She squeaks, hovering above you.

> Flick the little bug.
> Stare into the light.
> "Yeah, just fine." Get moving.
> "I think my thing broke." Lie there.
> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.
> Write In.

>>35555082
>Oh crap, saw you too late. If it's any consolation, the first three rolls failed the DC to convince anyway.

>>35555103
> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just broke myself a little too hard." Pick-up line.

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>35555103
>"Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.

>>35555103
>> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.

>>35555103
>Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.

>>35555103
>> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.

>>35555103
> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.

>>35555103
>> "Hey baby, you an angel? Cause I think I just fell from heaven." Pick-up line.
what sort of mobster would we be if we didnt try this?
nice hat.

>>35555139
>>35555169
>>35555179
>>35555229
>>35555234
>>35555239
>>35555268
> So you people have turned this character into someone who breaks their bones leaping into a dumpster, then hits on the first they they see.
> Glorious.

Out of the frying pan, and into a bosom. Today's a good day.

"Hey, baby, are you an angel?" You point your index fingers at the diminutive fairy. "'Cause I think I just fell from heaven." She looks absolutely flabbergasted, both by your sudden appearance, and your pick-up line. Score. Her face suddenly twists from confusion into curiosity.

"...Aren't you Luca Martello, the famous gangster?" She asks, pointing a finger.

> Deny.
> Agree.

>>35555384
>> Agree.
somehow i think such a person would have a reputation that precedes her.
were we somehow an out of work succubus before our current, about to be former, occupation?

>>35555384
"And what if I am?"

>>35555384
"that depends you reedy for a whirlwind love affair with Luca Martello?"

>>35555384
"Something like that, the real question Is who's the beautiful angel I'm looking at."

>>35555384
>Agree.

>>35555384
"Who else?"

Note that she said "famous"

>>35555423
>>35555426
>>35555427
>>35555428
>>35555495
>>35555500
"And what if I am?" You ask, slowly arching your back up. Something is definitely broken, because you can't feel one of your legs. The fairy seems to be considering something intently. The two of you are startled by the shouts of Biago and various other gangsters arriving at the building. They're pretty damn mad right now, and you'll be lucky to get a cell after this fiasco. Despite the dire situation, the fairy flies right up to your face. She presents a sheet of paper, large for her, tiny for you.

"I-I have a proposition. I'll shelter you from these people and heal your wounds, IF you agree to work for me." She says, somewhat frantic in her voice.

> No way.
> Yeah sure, whatever.
> What kind of job we talkin' here?

>>35555611
"Sure girl."
"Just as long as that work includes a little thing on the side between us"

>>35555611
>>35555636
seconding

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>35555611
>Yeah sure, whatever.

>>35555611
>>35555636
I like this.

>>35555611
>> Yeah sure, whatever.
>> more flirting
we're already a gang-star. i was lead to believe all gang-stars were fabulous and had stands

>>35555636
>>35555665
>>35555680
>>35555758
>>35555781
"Heh, sure," you reply, batting your eyes, "Just as long as that work includes a little thing on the side between us." The fairy doesn't really seem to be paying all that much attention to what you're saying, just forcing the paper and a tiny pen into your hands. It feels like a needle and is staggering difficult to write with, but you manage to jot down you signature on whatever this form is. She looks over the paper and sighs in relief.

"Ah~ thank goodness. You'll do nicely for us." She exclaims, smiling calmly. She has an adorably innocent charm to her, only emphasized by her tiny size. You can hear the screeching of tires nearby as Biago's backup shows up to assist. You grimace, rooting around in your pockets for something to use. Sadly you already used your bag of snakes back at the failed heist.

"Alright, hold still." The fairy says. You blink as she waves her hands in the air, uttering in some foreign language a strange poem or sentence. She glows brighter, and the two of you fade. Shocked, you glance down at your hands and are capable of seeing right through them. It's like you're not even there, or a ghost at least. This little dame didn't just kill you, did she?

"You're invisible to the unaided eye right now, but you have to keep quiet." She says, holding a finger in front of her mouth. Biago's goons are entering the allway, trilbies on the heads and machine-guns in their arms.

> Remain silent. Flip them off.
> Call them assholes, throw some garbage behind you.
> Punch them in the face. They can't see shit.

>>35556030
>> Remain silent. Flip them off.
I would listen to he person saving our ass.

>>35556030
>> Remain silent. Flip them off.

>>35556030
Expose ourself while nude.
Always wanted to do that

>>35556030
Attempt to give the fairy oral while we wait

>>35556087
>>35556101
Yes please

>>35556087
>>35556101
This

>>35556030
>> Remain silent. Flip them off.

those other actions is a lot of movement for maybe a busted spine.

>>35556087
>>35556101
Agreed

>>35556155
Thought she healed us

>>35556030
>>35556087
Sure.

>>35556155
>>35556171
I hadn't realized. two-in-one magic sure is convenient.

in that case.
>>35556087
>>35556101
I'll change mine to this

File: tumblr_n9f3y66czR1tgmafko1_500.gif (836 KB, 500x278)

836 KB GIF

>>35556087
>>35556118
>>35556126
>>35556171
>>35556276
>>35556337
> TFW I just realise what character I have created.

To hell with just sitting still. Ever since you first noticed yourself in a mirror there's been something you've wanted to if you ever turned invisible. Lacking a hot, sweaty bathroom, you opt for the second thing you always wanted to do if you turned invisible. You jump out of the dumpster, feeling the pain in your leg throb. The fairy panics.

"What are you doing?" She whispers, floating down to your leg. She repeats some arcane phrase and the pain begins to ebb, Staring down the gangsters, you promptly start to unzip your clothes, letting them drop to the floor. The fairy's expression changes from panic, to confusion, to utter astonishment as you strip naked in front of them. You hear a whimpering, but you simply grin and spread your arms.

"Haha, fuck you public indecency laws! You can't see what's invisible." With a mad cackle, you glance back down to see the gansters before you, flabbergasted. you blink and glance at your fairy squeeze. She looks a lot less translucent now. Glancing down, so do you.

"I-It doesn't work if you move around so much..." She whimpers. A cool breeze blows through the alley.

"Shoot."

> Beat their faces, take their guns, steal a car!
> Seduce their faces, take their guns, steal a car!
> Run away~

>>35556587
>> Seduce their faces, take their guns, steal a car!
well, we are naked.

what species are we again? do we even know? I guess uncle bingo is a dwarf, but mob relations and family register usually aren't one to one.

>>35556665
>You're human.

>>35556587
>> Beat their faces, take their guns, steal a car!
theirs not enough violence yet

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>35556683
okay. thanks.

>>35556665
did we need to roll for charisma by the way? here's a roll in case we did

>>35556737
Oh right, yeah, forgot to put that on there. Everything except running away.

> Beat their faces, take their guns, steal a car!

i like this quest!

>>35556587
>> Beat their faces, take their guns, steal a car!
They won't expect it!

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>35556755
>>35556587
> Seduce their faces, take their guns, steal a car!

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>35556587
>> Seduce their faces, take their guns, steal a car!

>>35557044
The dice gods make it clear, seduction wins

File: 500px-Kuromimg.jpg (63 KB, 500x375)

63 KB JPG

> Ninety-fucking-two.

Standing before the armed gangsters, legs astride in a heroic pose, clad in naught but your birthday suit, a thought arises.

"Hey boys!" You exclaim, holding both arms behind your head and blowing a kiss. You didn't think their mouths could get any wider but, ho-ly shit, you could sail an airship through those surprised gullets right now. You barely receive any resistance as you walk forward, hips are swinging, your stride springing, to the tune of a ringing alarm. A quick motion and you knee one in the gut, then elbow another in the eyes. They howl in agony and drop to the ground instantly. Their guns fly up in the air and you catch one in each hand, spinning them around by the grip before nestling them under your arms, inches away from bare bosom. The remaining mobsters are frozen still as you wink.

"Bye boys!" The alleyway erupts into a chaotic cacophony of laughter and gunfire as you mow down the foes before you. They burst onto the street, smacking off streetsigns and bouncing upon the bonnet of nearby cars. Barrels burning and gunpower in the air, you blow the smoke from the tip of each gun and walk out onto the street, and over to a V-8 mob sedan. They didn't expect this to go down, so you find keys still in the ignition.

"Hjuh... igh... uh..." The fairy hovers above the street, her little mind utterly blown by your antics. You glance over, hanging out the window of the car.

"You comin', sweetcheeks?" You call out, igniting the engine of the car. She breaks from her trance and hurridly soars into the drivers seat with you. With hands at the wheel, you careen down the road, skidding around the corner, out of sight of the courthouse.

[1/2]

>>35557278
"That went better than I expected." You comment, finding some smokes in the glove compartment and lighting up. You pass an intersection and flip someone off in an adjacent lane before turning a corner. "Shame about Uncle Bingo though. Ah, I'll give him a week or so. It's not the first time he's tried to murder me." You glance over at the pixie sitting in the seat next to you, still processing what just went down.

> So tell me about this job of yours.
> Ah, cheer up. Have a smoke.
> So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
> See if there's any tequila in the back.

>>35557308
>> See if there's any tequila in the back.
then

> So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

>>35557308
>> So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

>>35556587
>Seduce their faces, take their guns, steal a car!

>>35557308
"can you grab the wheel for a sec?"
> See if there's any tequila in the back.
> So tell me about this job of yours.

>>35557308
>So tell me about this job of yours.

>>35557308
Wait, we're still nude?

>>35557476
Yep.

>>35556587
>TFW I just realise what character I have created.
someone in particular or just the amount insanity in our choices?

>>35557513
The insanity in the choices. I planned for a crazy asshole, but I did not expect naked gangster-gunning, car-robbin' ladies.

This is why I love collaborative stories.

>>35557308
>> So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
>> See if there's any tequila in the back.
we have a high driving skill or something, right?
obviously that means we can totally rummage around the boot and glove compartment for vices without any impairment.
I'm gonna take it to mean that anyway. if i'm wrong and we get fucked, that's okay too

>>35557549
this is probably how we caused >the biggest accident in Enclave's history.

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>35557684
Until the next one.

Uncle Bingo will be so proud. Or horrified. Possibly both?

>>35557332
>>35557369
>>35557380
>>35557390
>>35557455
>>35557549
>Effectively, yeah. You've only got three traits right now, but you're damn good at them.

"Hey, can you mind the road for a second?" You ask, glancing in the back-seat. She gazes at you, puzzled.

"What are you-" You release the wheel and hang over into the back-seat. The fairy freaks out, and zips over to the wheel, holding it steady as best her little hands can manage. You groan, not finding your desired liquor.

"Damn. What kinda mob car doesn't have any spare bottles lying around. Buncha maroons." You lament, hopping back into your seat and placing your hands on the wheel in time to avoid a crash at the intersection. A quick swerve and you're back on track. The fairy floats over to her seat and collapses in a mess. She's on the verge of passing out.

[1/2]

>>35557734
"So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" You ask, toking on the cigarette. She takes a few seconds to compose herself and, after a deep breath, says,

"I'm part of the crew for an outgoing expedition into the frontier." She states clinically. You've heard about this kind of stuff; treasure hunters and glory seekers looking for new land and treasure to bring back and live comfortably off. With a large enough airship, you can tow enough floating islands together to make a pretty sizeable continent, and with land comes immense power. Of course, most races aren't used to the skies, even flying ones like fairies need somewhere to sit down and rest their weary limbs, and generally the only places where you can do that are infested with monsters. If it's not them, then might just run into engine trouble and plummet down into the depths, never to be seen again. High-risk, high-reward.

"We've been planning it for years. A high-tech airship with incredible new range and countermeasures against the terrors of the sky. The Jupiter," she glances up at you, stars in her eyes and determination on her cheeks, "that's what it's called. It's amaa~zing."

You flinch. You didn't realise anything could make a face that cute. She holds up the paper. "And you just signed up. No backing out. We have at least a 30% chance of making it back safely onboard Jupiter, and with you it just rose to 31%."

> Screw that. *take the paper*
> Sounds like fun. Sure.
> It sounds like you're gonna get killed. Count me in!
> There better be booze on this tub of yours.

>>35557802
>> Sounds like fun. Count me in!

the tequila was probably in their shoes or pants in flask holsters. classic bootlegger technique.

>>35557802
>> It sounds like you're gonna get killed. Count me in!

>>35557802
>how much would it go up if hypothetically i stayed sober?
what ever the answer say "not worth it"

>>35557802
>> It sounds like you're gonna get killed. Count me in!

>>35557802
> It sounds like you're gonna get killed. Count me in!
> But there better be booze on this tub of yours.

>>35557802
> It sounds like you're gonna get killed. Count me in!

It couldn't hurt to go on a side trip while Bingo calms his tits anyways.

MC is clearly either insane or Joseph so an airship full of crew is probably adequate stimulation and adventure.
this makes for more flirting opportunities anyway. I forgot to write in more flirting with the fairy girl.

>>35557852
>>35557894
>>35557896
>>35557931
>>35557943
>>35558026
You grunt. "Sounds like you're gonna get yerselves killed trying." You comment bluntly. The pixie's glee fades away a little and she fiddles with the paper in her hands.

"W-Well, it is... dangerous, but-"

"Count me in!" You smirk and give her your best thumbs up. Her exuberance returns and she hovers in the air.

"Really!?" She asks. You nod in response. However, with a stern look, you ask,

"But just you know, there better be booze on this tub of yours. That success rate is going to plummet if you don't." You warn her, seething smoke from your maw. She nods rapidly, and you return to your gleeful expression.

"Nice! Let's go see this Jupiter of yours." You spin the wheel and screech down the road, honking as you go. The fairy nods.

"Um, but before we arrive," she asks, timidly, "could you... put some some clothes on?"

END OF SESSION

>>35558166
>"Um, but before we arrive," she asks, timidly, "could you... put some some clothes on?"
why would we do that?

File: tumblr_ndifgqbV1U1s2kojso1_500.png (262 KB, 422x750)

262 KB PNG

>>35558166
Alright, that's this to a close for your premiere into sky adventures. I'm not sure when I'll run this again, but you'll likely be attempting to leave a city that's trying to actively murder you next time, so should be fun.

My twitter, for anyone wondering, is: https://twitter.com/QuestQyubey/
I post whenever I'm going to run a quest, and very little else except some occasional art. Be warned though, my other ongoing quest is /d/, so I have stuff flagged as NSFW.

File: FUCKINGWEASLES.jpg (229 KB, 400x513)

229 KB JPG

>>35558249


Apart from that, this was fun. I originally intended it as an MMO thing, where you dive into this weird sky world that was actually real instead of just a simulation, but actually writing it felt kind of bland and derivative of every other fantasy MMO quest out there. Just swordart with the twist of "but is real!". There was some fun ideas about the MC realising he can't actually die and exploiting that for personal gain (fucking with peoples sanity), but other than that, the framing device of the MMO added very little.

Then I watched Battle Tendency again, and found a bunch of 1950s pulp art (pictured). Everything started to write itself after that.