>>35545524
You wake up to the feeling of bed bugs biting your neck and the blanket scratching at your skin. Your eye opens to the sight around you, the little room that barely qualifies for a home. It is nothing more than rotted wood with a single window to remind you that there are better things out there – they’re just not for you. You throw off your blanket, and then scoot over to your clothes draped all over the floor.

As you get dressed, you consider the financial situation.

You currently have at your disposal fifty silver pieces, down twenty five after having to pay to get your market stand repaired after some hooligans vandalized it last week.

And your rent, which is due today, is seventy-five silver pieces.

You scratch your scraggly little beard, groaning. The nerve of it, seventy-five silver for this dump he calls a boarding house. Why if you had any gold or any kind of money, you’d show him how a real landlord takes care of his housing.

Whatever, you pull your pants up and pat them down. An itchy feeling on your knee indicates that a bed bug or two must have spent the night. A good shakedown from a walk ought to toss them out on their ear. You grab your hat as well, and throw on your tabard over your tunic and put on your gloves.

That leaves one last thing.

> Your cane. Your left leg hasn’t been the same since that bull struck you as a child. You’re pretty much as lame as a one-legged horse.
> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.
> Your flask. There’s never a bad time for a good drink of ale.
> All of them. You’re not leading a healthy life.
> Write in

>>35545526
>> Write in
Dildo. Being a nymphomanic isn't a good thing.

>>35545547
>>35545526
This

>>35545526
>> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

>>35545547
Fuck no.

>>35545526
> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

>>35545547
>>35545526
Kek. Yes.

>>35545526
>Write in
Coca leaves to calm down the jitters. They help with the feeling of hunger we can't help but feel with our meagre food. Too bad about the side effects, eh?

>>35545526
> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

Exploiting adventurers eh? We sell them silver coins for 3 silver coins a piece. We tell them they're good luck.

>>35545526
>> Your cane. Your left leg hasn’t been the same since that bull struck you as a child. You’re pretty much as lame as a one-legged horse.
Expert on whacking them young whipper-snappers.

>>35545526
>> Your flask. There’s never a bad time for a good drink of ale.

>>35545547
This

>>35545526
>> Your cane. Your left leg hasn’t been the same since that bull struck you as a child. You’re pretty much as lame as a one-legged horse.
I want to wag my cane at someone

>>35545547
>>35545567
>>35545631
Just stop, you're making it painfully obvious thagt you're just one person.

>>35545547
Second

File: 1406650312979.jpg (19 KB, 274x183)

19 KB JPG

>>35545547
I hate it.

>>35545526
> All of them. You’re not leading a healthy life.

File: The_Conductor.jpg (76 KB, 1000x1377)

76 KB JPG

>>35545526
>> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

I'm running a blank for a write-in.

>>35545524
Alcohol + drug addict. Nothing too horrible, we just can't really do without it.

>>35545526
>> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least

>>35545547
Second

>>35545547
Seconded

>>35545547
No.

>>35545547
DDA dev please go

>>35545739
Yay for not giving in to retards.

>>35545526
> Your cane. Your left leg hasn’t been the same since that bull struck you as a child. You’re pretty much as lame as a one-legged horse.

>>35545524
> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

>>35545526
>Flask
Only "angry beardling, distilled fungus everclear" gets the job done.

>>35545526
>Your watch. You don;t wear it on your wrist, but keep it out of sight in your pocket. It's worth maybe 2 gold, but... No. You couldn't sell it. It's the only- ... he gave it to you. You couldn't.

> Your reading glasses. Your sight isn’t what it used to be since that magickry student blinded you as a prank. You enjoyed watching him get expelled at least.

You huff your breath on the glasses then wipe them on your sleeve. Your reading glasses have served you reliably enough. You place them into your breast pocket then run your hand through your scraggly and greasy black hair. If you could afford the luxury of a barber, that would make you incredibly happy.

But regardless of hair beauty and health, you reach over to your carrying bag and open it up for today’s breakfast. Hard tack.

…

You sigh. Hard tack.

You tap it on the floor, causing the bugs to scatter from its depths, then pop the little biscuit in your mouth. The key to eating hard tack is to let it stew in your mouth for a bit, let the saliva break it down so you can chew it. It’s not the legendary bread of the Elves, but it’s enough and it’s cheap too. The only thing you’re missing is milk, you haven’t had that in a while.

Hell, you could REALLY go for some ale right now.

There’s a tap at your window. At the windowsill is a red dog-sized dragon. It shrieks, scratching at the window with its talons. Ah, must be the Mail Drake. You walk over to the window and open it up. You open your hand.

It shoots a jet of green flame into your hand, harmless. Now in your hand is a scroll with the seal of your local landlord. Oh great. You pet the Mail Drake, and it coos and shudders in happiness at being thanked. You open up the scroll.


Dear Mister Kanenas,

My daughter’s dog is lonely ever since she left for the Academy. Please take care of him.

No, I will not take any silver off your rent for doing this. He’ll be outside for you.

Sincerely yours,
Landlord Landon Lorenson

…

He’s a man of few words.

> King’s arm with that, he can take care of his own dog.
> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
> Write in

>>35545895
>> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.

>>35545895
> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
He's lucky dogs are awesome.

>>35545895
>> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
We can use it to hustle people

>>35545895
> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
Bitches.

>>35545895
>Fine, I suppose it'll be good at scatig the delinquents away at least.

>>35545895
> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.

He might up the rent if we don't take care of the fucking thing.

>>35545895
>> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
Sell it.

>>35545895
> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.
> Ask our landlord about food for it, we're poor afterall.

>>35545895
>write in.
Hate to get grim about it, but times are tough. We are eating fucking hard tack.
If it's a fancy breed of dog I say we sell the fucker.
If it's some mut... Dog biscuits anybody?
we are in poverty in old timey fantasy land. Shits real, we can't afford rent. Eat the fucking dog. Too grim?

File: Rusky the Husky.jpg (205 KB, 1280x856)

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> Fine, fine. You like dogs anyway.

Well, you always did like Walsh. You just hope he can find food on his own because you sure as the King’s arm aren’t going to feed him on your budget. With that said though, it’s time for the day to start. The Mail Drake flies off, allowing you to poke your head out to see what time it is.

Hm… Sun is just poking over the horizon. It looks to be relatively still early in the morning, plenty of time before the market opens. Chilly too, but you suppose that’s the consequence of the approaching winter.

Thusly, you head out of your little room and out into the cramped, damp, hallway. You swear, this place looked a lot better in the advertisements but you suppose that was just embellishment. You have been here for only a few years and already you’d like to get a new place. Heck, it’d be preferable to just sleep outside. At least the bedbugs won’t follow you out there. You carefully edge down the stairs as well, the Landlord hasn’t replaced them even before you came here.

Finally, out the door. Right outside the door, warming itself in a little ball, is the Landlord’s dog (now yours you suppose.) You always did like him. His name of Rusky is a bit strange but you attribute that to his daughter’s wild imagination. You kneel down by him, petting him. “Hey, Rusky. Want to go somewhere today?”

>> RUSKY <<
>> The Landlord’s Husky dog <<

He turns his head up, curious, as if asking where are we going.

Well…

> Go to the Market Square, might as well get an early start
> Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.
> Write in

>>35546049
...sadly, I'm all for it.

If it weren't for the fact that this is his daughter's dog.

>>35546087
>Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.
Gotta do what we gotta do

Rolled 92 (1d100)

I just though about it we could breed the dog for good money. For quicker cash just stud him out, if it's male.

>>35546087
> Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.
Maybe we can find something to fix for money.

>>35546087
>> Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.

>>35546087
> Go to the Market Square, might as well get an early start

>>35546087
> Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.

>>35546087
>Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.

In a city where there are prominent higher classes, there's probably a lot of good shit that they throw out because it's more of a hassle to repair it rather than just buy a new one.

>>35546087
>> Go to the Market Square, might as well get an early start

we need money for rent, and hopfully a barber.
No one wants to buy stuff from some one who looks like a bum.
Unless we are a mage or selling exclusive things only we could obtain. And it doesn't seem to be the case for both.

> Start looking through trash, might as well stock up on knickknacks.

Welp, time to stock on merchandise. You whistle at Rusky, to which he stands up and pants happily in response. There’s an eager dog! And already your day is feeling ten times better. Now, it’s time to head up and high this street to find stuff to sell to adventurers.

You see, you noticed this effect (which you have tentatively named “Adventurer’s Hoard”) which is that adventurers tend to never dump items which they deem important. Even if the item is as simple as a wooden spoon, they’ll never get rid of it. Compared to the average person who knows the value of things, adventurers seem to have very little grasp on what’s valuable and what’s not.

And that’s where you come in. You take some trash, tidy it up a little, sell it off as some exotic artifact from across the ocean. Why, yesterday, you managed to make a whole ten silver off of claiming a ruined bathrobe as genuine Orc tailoring. Now that is cooking with fire.

And today will be no different. You have Rusky stand guard as you open up a trashcan by the side of a local pub and start rifling through. This is where your gloves come in, you have to keep clean after all. Nothing but discarded rotten food, and bowls. You already have plenty of bowls why would you-

HOLD ON

You pull it out, ah yes, a kitchen knife! And it looks to be in good nick too! Nothing fancy about it, no jewels, but you can certainly pass it off as Ancient Human. An adventurer’s never going to tell the difference between a kitchen knife and an actual knife.

“Oi!” You and Rusky look over to see the pub owner, a very burly woman holding a broom like a hammer (and could probably hit like it was one) coming at you. “I thought I told you to stop rifling through our trash you bum!”

> Run
> “I’m not rifling through your trash. This is archaeology.”
> “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Oh wait- No you’re a woman.”
> Write in

>>35546264
> Write in
"Then why do you keep leaving it out here for me? You're sending mixed messages, madam."

>>35546295
HA! Second.

>>35546295
... huh I like it.

>>35546295
We are the classiest brand of hobo.

>>35546264
>>35546295
seconded

>>35546295
I like it.

>>35546295
yup

> Write in

You cross your arms, while Rusky sits down next to you, growling at her. She marches up to you, her pasty and pudgy little face balled up in what you can only describe as something resembling anger. “Well, madam. Then why do you keep leaving it out here for me?” She pauses, her face scrunching up into something now resembling confusion. “You now I rifle through your garbage, yet you continue leaving it out here. You’re sending me mixed messages, madam.”

…

“Oi, you little git, don’t you think you can just smooth me over with some fancy words of ya!” She raises her broom high, marching on you again.

Darn, you were hoping that would work. Maybe you should’ve just ran.

Rusky barks at her, surprising her. She steps back, frightfully now. Ah, there’s why you have a dog now! You grab Rusky by the back and smile at the madam. “Now, listen, madam. We’ll just be going. If you don’t want us rifling through your trash, just don’t leave it out here, alright? Alright.” You start dragging Rusky away, leaving a very confused fat madam in the street.

…

…

Well, after a good hour of searching, the kitchen knife was all you managed to scrounge up. Thusly, you arrive at the Market Square, just a few minutes short of opening time. Traders start opening their wares, stocking their shelves, or start waking up (you need to get the permit allowing you to sleep in your stand).

You walk up to your own stand, with Rusky happily sitting down next to it. It’s nothing but a bunch of wood and a tarp that barely protects against the rain. You step inside and sit down at your chair. So far, nothing to note. Might be a good day-

“Hey there, Kanenas!” A dwarf slaps your counter, laughing heartily.

Ah, damn it.

>> SATURNUS SATCHEL <<
>> Dwarven Merchant <<

“Bedbugs give you good company last night?! Haha!” He slaps his knee, his giant beard softening the impact somewhat.

> “More company than you get at least.”
> “What do you want, Satchel?”
> “Go away.”
> Write in

>>35546600
>> “More company than you get at least.”

>>35546600
>“More company than you get at least.”
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

>>35546600
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

>>35546600
>“More company than you get at least.”
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>35546600
>> “More company than you get at least.”
... yeah a little back and forth. Then
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

>>35546600
>> “More company than you get at least.”
>> “What do you want, Satchel?”

>>35546600
>“More company than you get at least.”
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

> “More company than you get at least.”
> “What do you want, Satchel?”

Ah yes, Saturnus Satchel, the Dwarf that makes everything, including things like sales and other things that are not supposed to be competition, into a competition. He’s likable if you can look past that, but unfortunately, you have difficulty with that. “It’s more company than you get.”

He chortles, grinning. “Ah, you got me, Kanenas.” He wags his meaty finger at you.

You cross your arms. “What do you want?”

“Oh, just checking in my next door neighbor!” He says with open arms. You also have the unfortunate luck of having the stall next to him. That means you have to watch him sell all of his weapons and other wares while you make off with the leftovers. “You know, I just finished off a new axe. Double-headed, dragon scale melded hilt, finest craftsdwarfship. You should see what I have carved into the blade! It’s a memorial to the Dwarven colonies of yore, who had to fight the mad elephants, the goblins, and the Elves!”

You nod. You’ve pretty much spaced out here but you’re sure it’s something interesting.

“Anyway…” He leans on your stall, smirking. “What have you got to sell today? I trust it’s more adventurer trap stuff like bowls that look vaguely Elvish, knives that might have been held by the King at one point…?”

> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”
> “Just a knife that I did not get out of the garbage.”
> “It’s none of your business.”
> Write in

>>35546784
>> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

>>35546784
> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

>>35546784
>“I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

Even if some of it is slightly used.

File: 1313720822615.jpg (30 KB, 310x504)

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>>35546784
>> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

>>35546784
>> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

BTW, are we good at our job?
Like are we just shit with luck, but at least know what prices should be?
Say an adventurer comes up to us and sells us a purple potion do we know what a purple potion is and how much it sells for?

>>35546784
>> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

> “I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories.”

“I sell adventuring gear and adventuring accessories here, Satchel.” You hold up the knife that you just acquired. “Like this knife, pure Human make circa 5 BBT in good condition, worth about fifty silver I’d say.” You place it down and hold up a potato bag, with no potatoes. “Or this used wool sack for carrying potions.” You place that down and hold up a scraggly little rope. “Or this rope, for securing your wool sack for carrying potions.”

Satchel nods. “Nice,” he says in an oxymoronic manner. “I’m sure there will be adventurers today who will be eating out of your hands!”

“Well, off with you, Satchel. We’ll see who sells what the most today,” you say. He grunts, still chuckling as he waddles back to his stall like a stupid duck. You don’t know how he can stand being a dwarf, not that you’re racist or anything.

Okay, you might be slightly racist, but dwarves today are the reason there are very few jobs anyway. King’s arm, this is a human kingdom not a dwarven one.

Finally though, the morning bell tolls. That means the gates are opening up for weary travelers, and that means adventurers to scam. Rusky lies down by the counter while you lean back and open up a copy of today’s news. You put on your reading glasses and slick your hair back somewhat. Merchants that look smart get more customers, that’s just the truth. Finally, people start flowing into the market square. A lot of them pass by your stall in favor of Satchel’s or someone who actually has something useful to sell.

Damn it.

[1/2]

>>35547050
[2/2]

Finally though, you get one good sucker. Looks like a young little man in a simple green cloak and some leather armor. No visible weapons on him though which means he’s either a caster or looking for a weapon. He picks up your kitchen knife, scrutinizing it.

Pfft, a lot of good a blunt kitchen knife is going to do him out there.

> “It’s 50 Silver.”
> Embellish, make it seem really valuable.
> Let him decide if he wants to buy it
> Write in

>>35547070
> Embellish, make it seem really valuable.
THIS IS HOW WE MAKE THRIFT

>>35547070
>> Embellish, make it seem really valuable.

CAPITALISM HO!

>>35547070
>> Embellish, make it seem really valuable
Then let him throw out a number, and negotiate from there.

File: rec_gameover.jpg (110 KB, 1280x960)

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>>35547070
>Embellish, make it seem really valuable.

We must be ruthless if we want to avoid being penniless and destitute.

>>35547070
>> Embellish, make it seem really valuable.
I love the item it's so staby.

>>35547116
I just want to us get a haircut. And buy actual crapy items. So we have more stock than a string, a sack, and dull kitchen knife.
lets at least have the king's very own practice sword. * A good length stick.*

> Embellish, make it seem really valuable.

“Ah, looks like the Knife’s found ye, boyo,” you play up your accent. You have to seem exotic, weird, strange, all that stuff that adventurers love. He looks down at you, only to see a scruffy man looking downwards, his eyes buried in the news. You pull down the paper somewhat, giving you only the shine of your glasses. “D’ya know that Knife’s lineage? Came down from the Elite Winter Guard themselves. Ye knew who they were, boyo?”

The customer nods. “Yeah, the King’s personal guard. Scrounged whatever equipment they had but…” He smiles, disbelieving as he looks down at the knife. “Th- they were some of the fiercest fighters ever seen! I- This is one of their knives?”

“Aye, boyo, aye. That wee little knife ye holding there, boyo, it’s older than your family lineage…” You toss the news away and then stand up to lean on the counter. “Ye know, boyo, some say that knife only stays with the most worth of travelers and woodsmen. Always gets lost when it doesn’t like its owner.” He looks up at you, surprised, then looks back at the knife. “Seems to prefer ye I reckon.”

He grins. Oh yes, he’s bought it. “How much?”

> “For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”
> (Set a price)
> Write in

>>35547247
>> “For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”

>>35547247
> “For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”
I'm rubbing my hands in anticipation.

>>35547247
>> “For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”

>>35547247
>“For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”

Time to see if Kanenas can close the deal as good as he can reel them in.

File: Stiina Stelera Strafniki.jpg (461 KB, 751x1100)

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> “For you, 50 silver. No haggling.”

You smile at him. “Yearra, boyo. Fifty silver, just for you.” His eyes light up at that, clutching the hilt of the knife. “No haggling.”

“No, no- that’s perfect!” he says. He puts his finger up, which glows blue, then pulls it downwards, opening up an inventory rift. You reaches in and pulls out a sack of silver coins, then shakes it, checking the contents. “That should be about fifty.” He tosses it to you, which you catch deftly.

You shake it… yep, fifty in the bag. “Glad to be doing business with ye, boyo.” You shake hands with him, and he immediately runs off with his knife to show to his friends. Ah the naivety of adventurers. As for you, you can pay off today’s rent even if you’re frugal enough. Maybe you can even get the rest of this stuff sold. You sit back down and smile, good sale sold. Good thing there are no authenticators in this city or else you’d be out of a job.

“Awww…” Oh boy. You look over to see one of the local City Guard, the one who patrols the Market specifically, walk over to your stall and pet Rusky. Rusky responds relatively amicably, panting happily. You’re familiar with this guard actually. She’s a relatively friendly girl, popular with the orphans and the military wives as well.

She looks up at you. “Kasimir!” She smiles at you, youthful for the age of 23. “This your dog? I thought you couldn’t afford one!”

>> STIINA STELERA STRAFNIKI <<
>> City Guardswoman <<

You shrug. “I’m taking care of it for my Landlord.”

“Awww, ain’t he just the cutest little guy,” she rubs noses with Rusky. She finishes it off with a good pet to the head and stands up straight, observing your wares. “So, what adventurer bait you got on sale? Because I need a bowl.”

> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”
> “I got a bowl, about five silver.”
> “Why would you want one of my bowls? I get them all from the garbage.”
> Write in

>>35547551
>> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”

Well this one's fun.

>>35547551
>“I got a bowl, about five silver.”

Something tells me she's well aware of our marketing tactics.

>>35547551
> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”
EMBELLISH IT

File: 1145043_large.jpg (300 KB, 940x1143)

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>>35547551
>> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”
It's out of this world!

>>35547551
> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”
Not seriously, just funnin' her. She might get a kick out of it.

>>35547551
> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”

I would recommend washing it out before you use it.

>>35547551
>“I got a bowl, about five silver.”

>>35547551
>> “I got a bowl, about five silver.”

>>35547551
>> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”
>"Really, though, five silver."

>>35547551
>“I got a bowl, about five silver.”

> “Well, I have this bowl, straight from the depths of Xalfacian forests.”

You stand up and present to her a clay bowl, not chipped at all, and in fact it looks to be in good nick as well. That’s mostly because you spent some time washing it after you had acquired it. “Well, Miss Strafniki, yer in cahoots with Lady Luck.” You start your accent back up again. “Ye see, this bowl comes straight from the depths of the Xalfacian forests, land of the Elves. Some say that five men were killed just trying to get this bowl.”

Strafniki crosses her arms, quirking her brow. “Really.”

“No, no, really!” you say. “This is no act of the maggot to ye, why the wee bowl here is very valuable indeed. Pure Elven make.” You present to her, as if crowning a new King. “And it can be yours for a simple five silver.”

She rolls her eyes, giggling a bit. “I’ll take it.” She drops five silver coins in your hand as she takes the bowl. “Gotta say, it does look like a nice bowl.” She narrows her eyes at you. “Jeez, Kasimir. You look terrible.”

“Oi, did I ask for yer bleeding opinion on my looks?” You haven’t shut your accent off yet.

She shrugs. “Just saying.” She holds up a finger, then reaches into her satchel. She drops off ten silver pieces onto your counter. “There. There’s a good barber, by the name of Barrett Barbera down the street southward. Visit him, tell him I sent you. Yeah?” She smiles at that.

> I don’t need handouts.
> Thanks, Miss Strafniki
> Write in

>>35547840
>"I don't nee-" *catch a look at our reflection in her armor, then grumble a thanks and take the coins*

>>35547899
this

>>35547840
>*Grumble**Grumble*
>Thanks Stiina...

>>35547840
> Thanks, Miss Strafniki

>>35547840
>> Thanks, Miss Strafniki

>>35547840
>> Thanks, Miss Strafniki

Well-off guard, well aware of the scammy nature of our business, not only buys our wares at face value but provides a handout? MAXIMUM PARANOIA

> Thanks, Miss Strafniki
> Write in

Ugh… “Look, Miss Strafniki, I know you care but-“ You take a glimpse of yourself in her armor.

Wow. You’re ugly as shit. Okay, she’s got a point.

You roll your eyes, sweeping the silver pieces together. “Alright, thank you, Miss Strafniki…” you grumble. “But I will not accept another handout like this.”

She chuckles a bit. “My, my, always the gentlemen.” She snaps her finger. “Tell you what, you let me pet Rusky again and we’ll call it even.” You shrug at that, to which she happily kneels down and pets Rusky. “Haha! Doggy…” She stand back up again, then waves as she goes back on her patrol.

That Strafniki. You’d join the guard if they were actually hiring. Then again, paying for your own equipment is not something you’d like to do. Oh well…

Another few hours pass, uneventfully. Seems like lunch is fast approaching so you take out your hardtack and a canteen of water. Before you’re able to enjoy lunch though, Rusky sits at your feet, his ears folded back and his eyes looking on you. Oh no… He’s hungry. You were afraid of this.

> Split the hardtack
> Let him have all of it, you can starve yourself for a little bit.
> “No, boy.”
> Write in

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>35547840
>> Thanks, Miss Strafniki
Next time we will get something for her.

>>35548145
>> Split the hardtack
Grab something later.

>>35548145
> Split the hardtack

>>35548145
>> Split the hardtack
Share the misery

>>35548145
>Split the hardtack

Stupid, faithful cute dog.

>>35548145
> Split the hardtack

>>35548145
> Split the hardtack

> Split the hardtack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yHHPZ7Sp1c

Hm, funny that the Market Band starts playing now.

You smack the hardtack on the counter, cracking it in half down the center, not evenly, but it’s there. You decide to give the biggest piece to Rusky, while you take the smaller one. You take a swig of water as Rusky starts chewing on the crusty bread, trying to break it apart. You sigh, pouring some water into your cupped hand, then offering it to him. “Here, Rusky.” Rusky stops his chewing to poke his nose into your hand and start licking up the water. “I know it ain’t much, but these are hard times.”

Once he’s done, you shake your hand dry as he starts going back to chewing on the hard tack.

“Well, well, Kanenas!” Satchel walks over, leaning on your counter. “Saw you put the moves on that young little ranger and Stiina back there! How do you do it?”

You shrug. “Charisma, you should try it sometime, Satchel.” He laughs at that, munching into an apple. Ugh… it’s been so long since you had a simple apple.

You hear the ground shake a bit. That usually heralds the arrival of an Orc in fact, a seven foot tall green skinned Orc wearing designer clothes and having glasses much like your own. “Good afternoon to you, Mister Satchel and Mister Kanenas!” he says happily, his tusks pointed up in his smile.

>> HARRIS HERRINGBONE <<
>> Orc Tailor and Sewing Merchant <<

He looks down at you. “Mister Kanenas, I see you are still wearing those dreadful little sheets you call clothes!”

“For the last time, Herringbone,” you say, grinding the hard tack on your back teeth. “I ain’t gonna model for your dresses.”

He tilts his head. “Not even if I gave you a free outfit in return?”

> Not even.
> … free you say?
> Write in

>>35548419
> … free you say?

>>35548145
hardtack can't be digested by dogs. Feed him some of our bedbugs instead.

>>35548419
> … free you say?
things are looking up. Barber and some cloths starting to look like a real merchant

>>35548419
>… free you say?
> Write in

Throw in sharply discounted clothing repair for the next few months and you've got a deal.

>>35548419
>write in

"throw in a mirror and a sewing kit and you've got a deal".

>>35548419
I'm fine with ether of these. I just want to get some free repair.
>>35548573
>>35548515

>>35548419
>> … free you say?

> … free you say?

You quirk your brow. “Free, eh?” He nods. “Can you throw in a mirror, some discounts on clothing repair, and maybe a sewing kit?” He nods again. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” You stand up, wiping some crumbs onto your hand and then quickly licking it. “Rusky,” you look down at the dog. “Cover for me.” He sits upon your chair, panting.

He has no idea what he’s doing.

Satchel laughs. “You’re gonna get put in a dress for a set of clothes!” He slaps his knee, laughing loudly. “Ahahaha! Oh you slay me!”

Herringbone glares at Satchel. “Now, Mister Satchel, there is nothing wrong with it. Besides, it’s not in public anyway.”

“King and Country, I’d hope not,” you say. You and Herringbone leave while Satchel continues to laugh his Dwarvenly arse off.

[1/2]

>>35548810
[2/2]

…

…

Surprisingly, Herringbone doesn’t make you wear any dresses. “Oh, believe me, Mister Kanenas, I was in your position at one point. I know what it is like to have consider pride over help. I will not make your position any harder,” he says.

You nod. “Thanks, Herringbone.” He carefully sews the cloak inch by inch as it is snapped together around your neck with a lovely brooch in the shape of the Orc-ish Shield-of-Arms. The cloak is scarlet red, flowing as well, must be made of a light material. “So… what’s this cloak for?”

“Custom order,” he says. “Customer wants it today to show off to her friends.”

“Ah, teenager?”

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “They are the worst customers to deal with. They’re never satisfied,” he growls. “Why, just last week, they sent back an entire Wedding dress because the frills I had put on the shoulders were too frilly. Can you believe that?”

“Oh, I’d be pissed,” you say.

“I was pissed, I nearly throw my table out the window,” he chuckles a bit at that. “Haha… But we got it settled after a meeting. One advantage of being an Orc, people are very agreeable when you’re alone in a room with them.”

> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
> “Are you done yet? I need to get back to my stall.”
> “Thanks for the free outfit by the way.”
> Write in

>>35548837
> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”

>>35548837
>> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
And thanks.

>>35548837
> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
> “Thanks for the free outfit by the way.”

>>35548837
>“You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
> “Thanks for the free outfit by the way.”
> Write in

Any advice for an impoverished "archaeologist"?

>>35548837
> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
"Oh, and Thanks."

> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
> “Thanks for the free outfit by the way.”

He takes the cloak off of you, apparently done. “Well, thank you for the threads, Herringbone. You know, I gotta say, tailoring and sewing to you is a heck of a living, isn’t it?”

He nods, folding the cloak up to be delivered. “That’s right. All Orcs know how to make the silkworm work for us, and all Orcs know how to make those clothes into something… fashionable.” He places the cloak into a box and closes it up with a string. “I myself learned from my father, who learned from his father the proper technique of sewing.”

You nod. “Yeah.” He places the Cloak in front of a Mail Drake, who takes a moment to recognize the seal on the packaging, then spews green fires all over it. It disappears, right into the Mail Drake’s carrying system, then it flies away out of the tent. “Father, eh?”

He nods. “That’s right. My Father, admittedly, was quite the barbarian. Fought against the Archduke a few years back but was rewarded for his tenacity with a plot of land. Proudest man I know, hates taking handouts honestly. What about your Father?”

…

> “I’d rather not talk about my Father.”
> “Dead.”
> “Drunkard.”
> Write in

>>35548837
> “You make quite the living off of sewing then, eh?”
> “Thanks for the free outfit by the way.”

A lot of orcs in this setting seem to be tailors. What's their story?

>>35549078
>>35549088
Oh.

> “I’d rather not talk about my Father.”

>>35549078
>> Write in
Last I saw of him was when he went out to gather new items to sell.

>>35549078
>Write in
"got caught lying about his wares to the wrong adventurer"

>>35545547
I laughed. thanks for that anon.

>>35549078
> “Dead.”

He tried the adventuring life, once. Didn't last long. It's a shame, really; he was a nice enough guy. So nice, in fact, that he made sure that his son would pay off all of his debts if he died.

File: Spoiler Image (35 KB, 500x754)

35 KB JPG

>>35549078
> Write in
My father was a pretty shady merchant.

>>35549078
> “I’d rather not talk about my Father.”

>>35549258
Sure.

>>35549258
I like this.

>>35549258
This

> Write in

You shrug. “Eh… my father was uh… shady to say the least. I took after him somewhat, scamming adventurers, the works. He got caught lying about his wares to the wrong man, had to leave town. Last I saw, he told he was getting new items to sell apparently. Nice man, so nice in fact he left me with…”

“Ah,” says Herringbone, leaning on his desk. “Let me guess, he left you with debt?”

“Me and my mother, quite the debt,” you say. “I haven’t seen him since, he might as well be dead. Anyway, came across the ocean to escape it, but I still send as much money as I can to my mother to help her pay it off.”

“I see, that is a heavy living.”

“It’s a living,” you say. Herringbone hands you a package. “What’s this?”

“Your clothes, take good care of them, make sure you wash them regularly, yes?” He smiles at you, patting your shoulder. If there is one thing you can rely on, it’s the kindness of Orcs. “And tell you what, if the stall business does not work out for you, I can always loan you some money.”

You shake your head. “I don’t need any more loans, Herringbone. But thanks.” You nod to him, moving to leave from his tent. “I oughta get outta your hair now, yeah?”

“Take care!”

[1/2]

File: marigold merriweather.jpg (347 KB, 549x800)

347 KB JPG

>>35549534
[2/2]

…

…

You decide to leave the new outfit for when you get home. For now, it’s just sitting under your counter. You yawn a bit as you lean back in your chair, waiting for customers to come by. Your stomach growls. Not because it’s dinner, but because you had a small lunch. You swear, you probably weigh only a hundred pounds soaking wet.

Finally however, a girl comes along. Beautiful young woman as well, accompanied by what appears to be a Wandering Spirit. Specifically, a floating cloak on top of a black silhouette of a ghost with glowing white eyes. She walks up to your stand, then marvels at your wares. “Wow…” She picks up a bowl. “Hey, Mister, how much is this?”

You nod to that. “Ten silver, lassie. It’s an Elven classic, I reckon.”

The Wandering Spirit tilts his head over it. “Actually. This looks like a regular bowl.” Ah, damn it. This Cloak has your number! “This is probably only worth two silver at best.”

> “Perhaps I can offer you something else…”
> “No, no, ten silver. It’s real.”
> “Is it? Why, I’ve been duped!”
> Write in

>>35549568
> Write in
"Well if you're gonna go ahead and ruin all the fun of shopping for the girl, what good are ye?"

>>35549568
>> “Is it? Why, I’ve been duped!”
Dam that man, perhaps I can offer you something else…?

>>35549568
Hey, it's these guys!

> “Is it? Why, I’ve been duped!”

>>35549568
>“Is it? Why, I’ve been duped!”
>Write in

How did you know?


You never know when it'll be useful to know how spirit-beings know something is fake.

>>35546295
I very nearly choked when i read this.

>>35549568
> I've been duped!

Real fun GermanSchteel!

>>35549568
"Well? What did you expect an elven bowl to look like?"

> “Is it? Why, I’ve been duped!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ9rM1DsJwI

You slap your hands on your face, in shock surprise. “Is it!? King and Country, I’ve been duped! Oh, that sorry little bugger of a merchant…” You shake your head, gritting your teeth. “He told me this was classic Elven! I oughta say, that wee little sod had me pegged for a sucker!”

The girl frowns. “Awww… I know what that’s like.”

“Do ye?” You huff, crossing your arms. “I gotta make a living off of this here stall! And he sells me fake items!”

The Cloak says, “We are sorry for this inconvenience, Merchant.” He looks over at the girl. “Perhaps Miss Merriweather will still buy your bowl regardless?”

“Yeah!” she says. She pulls her finger down to open up an Inventory Rift, then reaches in for a sack of silver. “Let’s see… how much was it again?”

> Two Silver
> Ten Silver
> Write in

>>35549846
5 silver.

>>35549846
> Two Silver

>>35549846
>Two Silver

>>35549846
>"Five silver. I'd say two, but with times like they are I can't afford to lose money on something like this."

>>35549846
> Write in
3 silver

>>35549846
>5 Silver

>>35549846
>> Two Silver
It's fine I will only charge you what it's really worth. No need to worry about my mistakes.

>>35549846
>5 silver

You guys, what if it's really some magic bowl and we don't really know...

>>35549959
It could also be elven and we'd never know.

>>35549846
> Two Silver

>>35549846
> Two Silver

>>35549846
> Two Silver

>>35549846
> Two Silver

> Two Silver

You fold your arms up, sighing deeply. “Aye… I won’t charge more than it’s worth. Just two silver, darling.” Miss Merriweather gives you a winning smile, then drops down two silver for you on the counter. “Aye, thank ye.”

She nods. “No, no, thank you.” She holds out the bowl to the Cloak. “What do you think, Mister Cloak? Think this will be a good present for Norman and Galena?”

“Sure, Miss Merriweather,” he says. “It is a nice bowl.”

“Excellent!” She waves goodbye to you, and leaves along with the Cloak.

You sigh. That was a close one. Maybe you should actually try getting bowls that look vaguely Elvish. Or maybe your luck holds and a Cloak that wasn’t alive during the Great War comes by. That’ll be the day. Whatever, you sit back down as Rusky rolls over, toying with himself by trying to catch his tail.

So far, you started the day with fifty silver pieces. You now have about… one-hundred and seventeen. That could pay off the rent and give a nice extra for your mother to work the debt off. You’ll have to consider everything once you get the final word.

Another few hours pass. Due to it being near Winter, it seems like the days are becoming shorter, and that means less time for marketing. You can already feel the crowds that browse for food, equipment, and other things start filing out. Satchel shuts his stall down. “Welp, I’m turning in for the day, Kanenas!” He walks up to your counter, jiggling a bag. “Check it out, two-hundred silver and five gold pieces!”

Ugh… Damn it.

“You know, I’d loan you some, but I know you hate handouts, so I’ll just be at the pub, care to join me? I’ll buy you a drink!”

> Hold out, there has to be more customers.
> Eh, a drink or two wouldn’t hurt.
> Write in

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>35550235
>> Eh, a drink or two wouldn’t hurt.
We earned it, but no more than two. We have a hair cut to get and more items to stock up on.

>>35550235
> Hold out, there has to be more customers.
>Maybe next time, Satchel

>>35550235
> Hold out, there has to be more customers.
KEEP MAKING MONEY UNTIL THE END

>>35550235

> Hold out, there has to be more customers.
> Write in
"I'll be there in awhile. I just want to be here if any late customers shows up."

>>35550235
> Hold out, there has to be more customers.
Always stay till last minute, but tell him "Nay, I've not have the luxuary of packing up early, but if your offer is still good in another hour or so, I'll join you."

>>35550326
This

> Hold out, there has to be more customers.

You shake your head. “No thanks, I’m gonna hold out to see if there are more customers. If the offer’s valid later, then sure.”

“Alrighty Mister Workaholic,” says Satchel as he waddles off. Rusky rests his head in your lap, and you pet his soft fur. You’ll wait, they’ll come to you. And you’ll get more than his puny two-hundred silver and five gold pieces. That’s nothing!

…

…

You shiver a bit, your breath making little clouds as you breathe. The sun has already set. And so far, not a single customer. Damn, it appears you’ve peaked today it seems. Only three customers, this would probably be the worst day you hadn’t sold that knife for fifty silver. But making today’s living off of at least thirty silver is not going to be easy. There’s dinner to consider, and then that barber and-

“Kasimir.” Miss Strafniki walks up to you, concernedly. “Jeez, you look cold.”

You nod. “No. Really.”

She shrugs. “Just saying.” She looks around the Market, almost completely empty save for a few stragglers and some merchants shutting down their shop. “I thought you’d be gone by now. You know how cold it gets this time of year. And they’re predicting this year it’ll be colder than anything else, maybe even the Great Winter.”

“Well, I just wanted to see if I could get some money today,” you say.

She smirks at you. “Tell you what, how about I walk you down to the barber, get your haircut and everything, then have some dinner down at the Inn?”

> I don’t need you to walk me, I’m not lame.
> Fine, fine
> Write in

>>35550660
>> I don’t need you to walk me, I’m not lame.

>>35550660
> Write in
I'LL HAVE A CUSTOMER IF IT KILLS ME!

>>35550660
> Fine, fine

>>35550660
> Fine, fine

>>35550660
>>35550713
This

>>35550713
And then we froze to death. Land lord took our rent right off our frozen corpse

>>35550660
>> I don’t need you to walk me, I’m not lame.
... but fine it seem that it's died down here.

>>35550660
> Fine, fine

>>35550660
> Fine, fine
I'll come, just need to remember to pay my landlord later.

>>35550660
> Fine, fine.

>>35550660
>Fine, fine

>>35550660
> Fine, fine

> Fine, fine

Ugh… You want to wait for more customers, but…

You sigh. “Fine. If it’ll get you off my back,” you say as you stand up. Rusky comes out from behind the counter, jumping and running around Miss Strafniki’s legs happily.

Miss Strafniki crosses her arms, smirking. “Hey, I ain’t that annoying. As a Guard, it’s my duty to make sure people in these walls live a comfortable life in safety. Come on.” She places her hand on your shoulder and starts directing you away. You needn’t worry about your stall for now, guards are usually around it for the nights to keep them from being robbed by hooligans.

You, Rusky, and Miss Strafniki continue down the sunset-lit streets of the High City. People walk by occasionally, some children play in the street as well with toy swords and balls.

“Stiina!” You look back to see a little girl, no older than ten, running up to Miss Strafniki. She wears a nice little dress bundled up in a little cloak and a scarf as well. Miss Strafniki grins, bending down to grab her and spin her around. “Hahaha!”

“Oooh, little Suzie, you’ve gotten bigger!” Miss Strafniki carries Suzie like a little princess, giggling. “Have you been a good girl this year?”

“Yes, Stiina!” she says.

“Ooohh… maybe the King will bring you something this year for King’s Day,” says Miss Strafniki.

Suzie looks over at you, narrowing her eyes. “Who’s this, Stiina?”

> Introduce yourself
> Let Miss Strafniki introduce you
> Write in

>>35551107
>> Let Miss Strafniki introduce you

>>35551107

> Let Miss Strafniki introduce you

>>35551107
> Let Miss Strafniki introduce you
Conserve your strength.

>>35551107
> Let Miss Strafniki introduce you

>>35551161
Yea. winter times are the times when you need to count you calories by the single digits.

>>35551107
>> Introduce yourself
use our sale voice.

>>35551195
>I am of elven make, worth at least 600 silver, no hagglin

>>35551107
>>35551195
This, kids LOVE our sales voice

>>35551229
>bowl 2 silver. okay condition.
>maybe 2 bucks IRL
>so we're worth 600 bucks even with bullshit elven magic

>>35551195
>>35551107
This

>>35551107
This!
>>35551195

>>35551195
This!

>>35551229

Isn't it a bad thing if we're of elven make?

There was a huge war with the elves a few hundred years ago in this setting, wasn't there?

>>35551409
Still at war I think

>>35551409
>mysterious Wood Elves of the eastern land of Xalfacia
Probably different group of elves made it then

>>35551409
>>35551441
It ended half a millenia ago, but sentiments have never been repaired properly. Liking elves is considered extreme deviancy, being one isn't going to do one any favours.

> Introduce yourself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaPGYhtz194

As a local man plays his guitar on his stoop, you decide to introduce yourself with your sales voice. “Top o’ the mornin’ to you, darling! Name’s Kasimir Kanenas and I aim to give ye the best bang for ye buck, savvy?” Miss Strafniki turns her head away, but you can hear her trying to choke her laughter back. Suzie simply stares at you, confused. “Come on, darling, perhaps I can offer you a nice sack for storing your potions, and a rope for tying it down as well!”

Suzie puffs her cheeks out and looks up at Miss Strafniki. “I don’t like him.” Ow… Miss Strafniki explodes into a huge gutbusting laughing fit.

“Ahahaha! Ohoho! Oh jeez!” She stops to set Suzie down, then stays there, kneeling. “Oh, jeez!” You and Suzie glance at each other as she continues laughing. Finally, after a minute or two, she calms down. “Ah… Suzie, that’s not a nice thing to say,” she says.

Suzie purses her lips, glaring up at you. “Is he your new boyfriend?”

You roll your eyes, smiling. “Oh, I wish.”

“Hehe.” Miss Strafniki pats Suzie on the head. “Yeah, me and him are just acquaintances, Suzie. Now run along back to the orphanage alright, before curfew!” Suzie nods, then turns around and runs off. “Orphans, they’ll make parents out of anyone they like.”

“Clearly she wouldn’t like me as a father,” you say.

“Oh, I’d think you’d make a great father!” she says as you two turn back to head to the barbershop.

> “Thanks.”
> “You’re not trying to get out of your spinster status by seducing me are you?”
> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”
> Write in

>>35551568
> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”
Show her up with those merchant one liners.

>>35551568
>> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

>>35551568
>“I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

>>35551568
>Thank, but that's a moot point, I can barley provide for myself, let alone a child.

>>35551568
> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

>>35551568
>> “You’re not trying to get out of your spinster status by seducing me are you?”

>>35551568
> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

>>35551568
>> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

>>35551568
> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”
Shameless flirting!

>>35551626
We should probably say this no matter what.

> “I’d think you’d make a good mother.”

You shrug. “Well, I’d think you’d make a good mother, Miss Strafniki.”

She smiles, a twinge of pink on her cheeks either from the cold or from the compliment. “Aaawwww, you flatter me, Kasimir.” She gives you an air kiss jokingly. “Tell you what, when I give birth to my firstborn, I will want you there for support. Even if my husband is there, I want you there. Damned what he thinks of you.”

“Oh, he’ll probably think of me as some lazy bum who can barely make rent.” You nod at that. “Which is completely true.”

“Ah, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Most people I’d know wouldn’t know enough how to scam adventurers like that,” she says. She points ahead. “There’s the place.” It’s a simple little building, barely noticeable except for the big sign that says “Barbera’s Barbershop”.

You walk inside to a well-lit room, with chairs for the customers to the sit. Old Man Barbera is sweeping up hairs from the previous customer, and he looks up to see Miss Strafniki come in. “Ah, Stelera! It’s good to see you!” He walks over and hugs the girl, and Miss Strafniki happily pats him on the back as he does. “Come for another haircut?”

“No, no,” she says. “Friend of here needs one.” She leans, whispering in his ear. “Careful, it’s extra greasy.”

“Oooh jeez…” Barbera looks at you funny. “Awright, tell you what, I’ll get me daughter down here. Bailey!” A girl comes in from the backroom, well-dressed in all her finery. “We got ourselves a bum.” He grins at her. “You know what that means!”

>> BAILEY BARBERA <<
>> Barbershop Apprentice <<

Bailey smiles, a bit tired. “Okay, Pops.” She leads you down to the chair and drapes a blanket over you. Miss Strafniki and Old Man Barbera get to talking. “Right, how do you want your hair done?”

> “Just make it neat.”
> “Do what you feel.”
> Write in

>>35551849
> “Do what you feel.”
Trust in the barber.

>>35551849
> “Do what you feel.”
>Even if my husband is there, I want you there.
DAMN IT THOUGHT SHE WAS SINGLE
YOOOOOOOOOO

>>35551849
> “Do what you feel.”

>>35551849
> “Do what you feel.”

File: 1226876-mrt[1].jpg (21 KB, 468x235)

21 KB JPG

>>35551849
> An elvish mohawk

>>35551885
She is, it's a joke.

>>35551885
>>35551849
> Write in
"What would you suggest?"

I think she was speaking hypothetically man

>>35551849
> “Do what you feel"
>>35551885
Not sure about that yet...>>35551911 Ah ha! Hey if we marry her, we can get out of living in that shack!

>>35551849
>“Do what you feel.”

File: Bailey Barbera.jpg (301 KB, 495x962)

301 KB JPG

> “Do what you feel.”

“Do what you feel, Miss Barbera,” you say. She nods, pour a potion of red liquid over your hair. “… what are you doing?”

“It’s a health potion, heals your follicles and breaks up the grease, makes it easier to cut the hair.” She grabs a pair of scissors and a comb and starts getting to work on tidying up your hair. “So, Mister Kanenas, right?”

You look at her as she works. “That’s right. How’d you guess?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of you,” she says. “Apparently you go through people’s garbage every day in search of things to sell at the Market.” Ooh… they’re catching on. You try not to make your displeasure at that visible. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Oh, thanks,” you say. It’s not a terribly good admission of safety, but it’s something. “Hope it’s not affecting your ability to cut my hair, is it?”

She giggles a bit. “Truth be told, I’m considering shaving you like my legs.” You almost shudder at that. “I’m joking! Honestly, I’m good at this-“ Snip. “Oops.”

You freeze. “What oops?”

She laughs again. “I’m joking! I’m joking!”

> “Please stop joking.”
> Laugh
> “So, have you been a barber long?”
> Write in

>>35552098
> Laugh
> “So, have you been a barber long?”

>>35552098
> Laugh
> “So, have you been a barber long?”

>>35552098
>> “So, have you been a barber long?”
Worried Laughter.Gif

>>35552098
> Laugh
> Write in- So taking over the family business then?

>>35552098
> Laugh
> “So, have you been a barber long?”

> Laugh
> “So, have you been a barber long?”

You chuckle at that. Of course it’s a joke, she’s a barber, she wouldn’t joke about messing up your hair, right? “Ehehe… so you been a barber, Miss Barbera?”

Miss Barbera nods, carefully edging over your side as she cuts your hair. “That’s right. We’ve been at this for a while now, I learned when I was like…” She pauses to consider. “I think when I was ten actually. I inherit the place once my Papa decides to retire.”

“Gonna continue?”

“Oh of course, barbering is all I know,” she says. “Beyond jokes of course. Want to hear a funny joke?” You shrug. “Two Elves walk into a bar, and the bartender goes, ‘sorry, we can’t serve you.’ And the Elves ask why, and the bartender says, ‘we only serve adults.’” You chuckle a bit at that. Not the funniest joke in the world, but it’s something.

She finishes off one last snip. “There you go…” She steps back and offers you a mirror. You observe yourself, and find your hair is less scraggly and scruffy and now a whole lot neater. Now it’s just a few inches in length, but it certainly leaves room for styling. Now that’s handsome. “Like it?”

“Love it.”

You stand up, offering ten Silver to the girl, which she takes eagerly.

“That’s my girl,” says Old Man Barbera. “Knows how to work the customer. Feel free to come back anytime!”

You and Miss Strafniki leave the Barbershop into the cold of night. It is a bit chilly. “Well, ready to head to the inn?” Rusky happily barks, apparently wanting to go as well.

> “I’d rather head home.”
> “Sure.”
> Write in

>>35552472
> “Sure.”

>>35552472
>> “Sure.”

>>35552472
> "Sure"
Never pass up a chance at actual food.

>>35552472
>> “Sure.”
Good times to be had.

>>35552472
>"Sure"
>inb4 we split an order of free bread

>>35552472
>> “Sure.”

> “Sure.”

…

…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAO0fbBkZdg

The music blasts in your ears as you eat your food. Much to your dismay, Miss Strafniki offered to pay, and you were just about to reach into your coinpurse to pay. But once they set down the pork, the bread, the mashed potatoes, the peas, the corn, the sliced carrots, all you saw was hot food. You and Rusky began eating like Gods, stuffing everything you could into your gullet.

This probably won’t be good for your stomach later but hell, you can handle it. At least Satchel isn’t here to make a competition of dancing with his little dwarf legs.

Miss Strafniki sits next to you, drinking a pint of ale. The rest of the Inn is ablaze with activity as adventurers from all over the Kingdom dance, party, and eat their way into the night. Maybe you should have opened a Tavern, this is an easy killing. Sell a few rooms for the night, maybe hire a few whores to wait tables and provide some easy entertainment, the works.

Miss Strafniki smiles at you, taking another sip of her ale. “So, how do you like the food?”

“Oh, it’s better than hard tack,” you say. “Thank you very much, Miss Strafniki.”

“Kasimir, come on…” She tilts her head to you, still smiling. “You can call me by my first name. Or middle name, whichever you prefer.”

> “I prefer Miss Strafniki.”
> “Fine, Stelera.”
> “Fine, Stiina.”
> Write in

>>35552472
> “Sure.”

>>35552794
>> “Fine, Stiina.”

>>35552794
>"How about Mrs. Kanenas?"
time to regret this

>>35552794
>> “Fine, Stelera.”
Middle names are fun

>>35552869
This, then Stiina once the dust settles.

>>35552794
>Stinna

>>35552794
> “Fine, Stiina.”

>>35552794
> “Fine, Stelera.”

>>35552794
> “Fine, Stelera.”

>>35552794
> “Fine, Stiina.”

>>35552869
>>35552931
This, so very much. We're going to be a successful entrepreneur one day with the city guard captain as our waifu.

>>35552869
>>35552931
>>35553040
Wasn't expecting that much support, BUT YEAH CITY GUARD WAIFU

>>35552869
Second!

>>35552869
Anon please, not on the first date.

>>35552869
Needs to be followed with some self depreciating humor, "You've showed me such a nice time today that I'd be looking to marry you if I had any social standing, or financial stability, or..."

>>35553006
On second thought.. I change my vote to this
>>35552869

> “Fine, Stiina.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5kEiE6bDxk

You sigh. “Fine, Stiina.” She grins, happy at that. “Or maybe you’d prefer Miss Kanenas.”

She laughs, slapping you hard on the back. “Ah, you slay me! Ahaha!” You don’t know why you said that, but you might as well reap what you sow. “Honestly, much as I’d like a boyfriend or a husband like yourself or maybe like Lord Lamarr himself, I’m married to this City first. It’s why everyone calls me by my given, you keen?”

You shrug. “I suppose.”

“There!” She places a pint of ale down in front of you. “Tell you what. We’ll have a drinking contest. First one to give in loses.”

Hm. You always did consider yourself a steady drinker.

But then again, you have never seen Miss Strafniki drunk.

> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK
> Nah, you need to get home sober tonight
> Write in

>>35553168
> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
>> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
>> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
> FOR ING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
>FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
>FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
>FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

>>35553168
> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK
SHINY BUTTON

>>35553168
> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK
Also pray a silent prayer to the gods of bravery, foolishness and beers.

>>35553168
> Nah, you need to get home sober tonight
C-C-combo breaker

> FOR KING AND COUNTRY, LET’S DRINK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBIjR39WYfM

Pffft, this ought to be easy. You clink your pint against hers. “Show me what passes for a liver in your body, Stiina.” She grins, and you both immediately down the first pint. The liquid burns going down your throat, but that’s fine, you’ll get used to that. You slam your empty pints down.

That’s just the first. The bartender places down another two for you as well. Here we go. You both grab your pints and start downing them again. A few adventurers take note and walk over to observe. A huge Orc puts his hand on your shoulder while two dwarves look over Stiina’s.

Another two down. “Keep them coming!” yells Stiina. More adventurers come by to watch.

…

…

Oh King’s heavenly bowls. You and Stiina can barely sit down straight. You’ve already gone through ten pairs of pints. The adventurers are taking bets on which one of you will fall first. “Ya… Kingly handsome gentlemaaaaan.” Stiina slurs heavily, her pint spilling out ale as she shakes it around. “I know you will do the… right thing and just give up!” she slams it down on the table.

Truth be told, you swear you’re seeing two of her right but that’s probably because you don’t have your glasses on.

> Give it up
> Keep going, you can do it
> Write in

>>35553421
>> Keep going, you can do it

>>35553421
> Keep going, you can do it
DON'T GIVE UP
WE'RE NOT DYING A HOMELESS BUM IN THE STREETS NEITHER ARE WE GOING TO LOSE A DRINKING CONTEST

>>35553421
>> Keep going, you can do it
Kasimir ain't no mentlegen

>>35553421
> Keep going, you can do it

>>35553421
>> Give it up

>>35553421
>Give it up
Only for you lass.

>>35553421
> Keep going, you can do it

Show what we got

File: aleandwhoreskr6.jpg (107 KB, 600x750)

107 KB JPG

>>35553421
>> Keep going, you can do it
Well one of us will black out and the dog will need to take us home some how.

>>35553421
>Hustle the adventures

>>35553421
> Keep going, you can do it

>>35553421
>keep going, you can do it

>>35553421
Gots to say OP, the music is solid

> Keep going, you can do it

You can do it, Poor Trader!

>>35553421
>Keep going, you can do it
Drink like your happiness is at the bottom of the glass!

>>35553630
Schteel has the best music.

>>35553421
>> Keep going, you can do it

> Keep going, you can do it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BOsJdv6ZSI

“Go shag a sheep ye hoor!” is all you can say before you lift your pint and chug it all down. The adventurers all cheer and shout for you, clapping and whistling. Finally, gravity takes care of the rest, and sends all every drop down your gullet. Done. You slam it down on the table, and everyone bursts in applause.

“Well… not bad for a liii… whatever.” She shakily tries to drink the last of her ale, only to fall over flat on the table. “Forget it, you win,” she slurs. You all cheer and celebrate, clapping and shaking hands with everyone. You even get a few kisses from the Tavern waitresses too. So that’s something!

But King and Country, everything that is good, you are drunk.

God… You don’t feel like you can make it home now just…

Oh jeez.

[1/2]

>>35553813
[2/2]
…

…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gukFvG8VbK4

The faint sound of the metallic twang of a resonator wakes you. Must be the bar downstairs. You crack your eyes open. Huh. This doesn’t feel like your home bed. This is way too comfortable to be your regular bed. You feel the sticky sweat cling to your skin and make every motion on the bed feel awkward. King and Country… that was something last night.

Note to self: Never get in a drinking contest again. Even if they’re paying for it. This- Damn it your head hurts. And- Oh boy. Good thing there’s a window by the bed! You throw it open and hurl right outside. Passerbys be damned.

Oh jeez, you lie back in the bed. Oh jeez.

You look over to see Stiina Stelera Strafniki. She’s naked underneath the sheets she sharing with you, looking at you like you just-

… oh. Oh jeez.

Oh jeez. You’ve never known Stiina to ever copulate with anyone so you must have-

Oh jeez. Oh jeez no.

A Mail Drake flies into the window, screeching. Must be for you. You hold out your hand, to which it blows out a scroll for you to read. You open it up.


Dear Mister Kanenas,

Due to your absence during rent collection, I have taken upon to give you your notice of eviction. I am a punctual person and do not tolerate lateness. You have three days to move your material out of my property.

Sincerely
Landlord Landon Lorenson


… oh jeez.

Stiina stares at the letter, then looks at you, concernedly. “… Kasimir. You okay?”

> “Oh jeez.”
> “Fine, perfectly fine.”
> Remain quiet.
> Write in

>>35553840
>"I'm being evicted."

>>35553840
>> “Oh jeez.”
Where's Rusky?

>>35553840
>> “Oh jeez.”

>>35553840
>Remain quiet
Time to silently panic

>>35553840
> Write in
My landlord is evicting me.

But we got laid! So it was worth it.

>>35553840
Give her the letter.

>>35553840
>> “Fine, perfectly fine.Just going to be looking for a new place to live."
Land lord seemed like a cunt any how.
We save some silver and find a better investment.
POssibly even look into buying Shop permit for sleeping. Then spend some silver on blankets and fixing up the shop.

>>35553840
> “Fine, perfectly fine.”

>>35553840
>“Oh jeez.”

>>35553840
At least we have the rent money. We won't have to beg for food just yet

>>35553934
this

File: image_36563.jpg (32 KB, 300x396)

32 KB JPG

>>35553840
>> “Oh jeez.”

>>35553840
> “Oh jeez.”

>>35553915
But anon we don't even remember it.

>>35553840
Well time to look into sleeping at our stall then...

>>35553840
>“Oh jeez.”

Also, what happened to Rusky?

> "So, uh, I think I have enough money to rent a ring and bribe a priest. What are you doing later today?"

>>35554046
And if some time pass and she's pregant, it's ours.

>>35553840
>perfectly fine

WHERE'S RUSKY?

> “Oh jeez.”
> “Fine, perfectly fine.”
> Write in

“Well, jeez, I’m fine. Just… I’m getting evicted.” Stiina covers her mouth with her hand, saddened. “And I only have at most a hundred silver to my name, a permit to sleep in my stand costs two-hundred silver and most rental places around her cost a down payment of fifty silver and uh…” You shrug. “Oh jeez.”

“Yeah, jeez,” says Stiina. “That does sound bad.”

“Oh, I’ve been through worse.” You look around. “Where’s Rusky?” You both lean over the edge of the bed to see Rusky curled up in a ball, sleeping on the rug. “Okay, he’s accounted for and… I suppose I’m keeping him now.” Oh jeez.

Stiina wraps her arm around you. “Hey, it’s okay. I can help you if you want-“

“No, no,” you say. “It’s fine. Honest. Just some hard times as well, I’ll push through. I always do.” You won’t afford the rent on the stall if you get a new place, and getting the silver to sleep in your stall will take weeks. Not to mention food and drink for yourself and Rusky. You look down at Stiina. Impressive knockers, but it’s too bad you can’t remember ever doing anything with them. “Um… Stiina, have you-“

“No. First time,” she says. OH JEEZ. “Now, we do stupid things when we’re drunk, you know that- I won’t make a fuss. If you don’t want anything it’s okay.” Oh jeez, oh jeez.

Ugh… Stiina hugs you from the side. “It’s alright. Okay?”

You sigh, looking out the window. The cold wind shakes you two up a bit.

Another reminder of where you’re going.

>>35554108
If he's still nearer are keeping him, fuck our landlord

>>35554156
THIS CAN'T BE A ONE SHOT, POOR TRADER NEEDS A CONTINUATION

File: 46a3cb18130a04c7311c21c57(...).jpg (665 KB, 761x900)

665 KB JPG

>>35554156
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOlvyK_K9dI

That's it for this thread of Poor Trader Quest. If you want this to continue on as it's own full Quest, I'll consider it. Usual Quests will be ran on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday coming up, and I will update tomorrow of which will be run on which day.

Follow at: https://twitter.com/GermanSchteel
Ask at:
ask.fm/GermanSchteel

See you next time.

>>35554156
Scheel! You can't end it like this! We must have MORE! More threads of this!

>>35554223
Please sir, may I have some more?

>>35554223
Thanks for running, boss. I'd love to see more stuff from this setting.

>>35554156
>First time
It just got worse
Being poor trader is suffering

>>35554156
>>35554223
Oh jeez.