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/tg/ - Traditional Games


>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. You are also the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress in Gamindustri (where everyone important is a moe personification). Sometimes you wonder if you should have registered your last name as McTwelfthbay, but in a world where cutesy monosyllabic nicknames plus honorifics are all the rage, Twelfthbay is enough of a mouthful as it is. You’d thought about shortening it further, but Mojang, your on-again-off-again friend, has repeatedly demonstrated that anything can be reduced to insultingly cute nicknames, so it isn’t worth the trouble.

It says a lot about your life that you even have to spend time thinking about that sort of thing.

Two things stand between you and a pay day large enough to keep you swimming in booze for months: the cooling corpse of a thirty-foot long ice wyvern, and a catgirl adventurer who wields a gigantic hammer despite looking like she’s barely eleven years old. The catgirl took care of the dragon, but to be honest, you’d have preferred to fight the dragon. The dragon would have just mauled you and scattered you remains across the landscape. The catgirl might kill you and then use the proceeds from stealing and selling your amazingly rare treasure to buy something other than alcohol, which would be a travesty.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35436491
Sure, there are general guidelines in place to guard against adventurers killing each other and stealing their loot, but anything can happen out in the distant and unsupervised snowfields of Lowee. And for a lot of adventurers, a football-sized chunk of Sharicite is more than worth a teensy bit of cold-blooded murder. Your best hope is to convince the catgirl that you don’t have anything worth taking.

“You got somethin’ strange on you,” the catgirl murmurs, her nose twitching.

Oh, and she also has the nose of a bloodhound.

Ester, Dragon Warrior and wearer of legendary nonsensical but non-chafing armor, is wearing the sort of wide peppy grin that you normally associate with naïve idiots, but you’re starting to realize that she wears it like a mask. She’s also got many more years of experience than you do, so she might know how to deal with this thing-

“H… hahaha, we, uh, we don’t know what you’re talking about! Right, Urist?”

- or, or she could be a godawful liar and an even worse actress.

[ ] [SHOW] Maybe the catgirl smelled the dogoo jelly in your pack. Take out the double handfuls and show her.
[ ] [DEFLECT] Is she saying that you smell? Make a show of being insulted! ... although you /are/ a little ripe.
[ ] [D.Q.] Casually mention Ester’s status as the Dragon Warrior. Maybe her name value will help you out here?
[ ] [SILENCE] Say nothing. Have faith that Ester will figure something out. Try not to spill spaghetti.
[ ] [ATTACK] Try to knock out the catgirl. She can’t jack your shit if she’s out cold.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [DEFLECT] Is she saying that you smell? Make a show of being insulted! ... although you /are/ a little ripe.
Ester please don't say another word
>>
>>35436515
>[x] [DEFLECT] Is she saying that you smell? Make a show of being insulted! ... although you /are/ a little ripe.
How DARE she!
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [SHOW] Maybe the catgirl smelled the dogoo jelly in your pack. Take out the double handfuls and show her.
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [SHOW] Maybe the catgirl smelled the dogoo jelly in your pack. Take out the double handfuls and show her.
Monhun-chan just wants the Doggoo guts to craft into a wicked sword or something
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [DEFLECT] Is she saying that you smell? Make a show of being insulted! ... although you /are/ a little ripe.
She doesn't know that we know we smell... HOW DARE SHE INSULT SLIKE THIS
>>
>>35436515
alcohol! sharing is caring
drunk catgirl is a go!
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [SHOW] Maybe the catgirl smelled the dogoo jelly in your pack. Take out the double handfuls and show her.
Also this preps the jelly for impromptu weapon if/when we toss it in her face and skedaddle
>>
>>35436817
that by the way is an alternative deflection vote.

>Sure I have something strange, let me show you
>Open alcohol flask right next to her nose
>Convince her to try some
>Tame the girlgirl
>>
>>35436515
>[X] BABBLE INCOHERENTLY, the catgirl obviously wants our booze!
>>
>>35436515
[x] [SHOW] Maybe the catgirl smelled the dogoo jelly in your pack. Take out the double handfuls and show her.
She can't have it though.
>>
>>35436515
>[ ] [DEFLECT] Is she saying that you smell? Make a show of being insulted! ... although you /are/ a little ripe.
>>
>>35436515
>[DEFLECT] IS SHE SAYING OUR BEER IS INFERIOUR!!!
>>
>>35437003
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT OUR BEER
>>
>>35436515
>[X] [DEFLECT]

You can't help but stare at the catgirl's hammer, casually slung over one shoulder despite its tremendous weight. How many bones has that thing shattered? How many skulls has it cracked? What are the chances that the hammer will gorge itself with your dwarven blood within the next ten minutes? You sigh, shifting in your grimy outfit, wishing that you'd at least had the foresight to take a nice, soapy bath before-

... oh. Right. You DID mean to freshen up before setting out for Lowee's Basilicom, but you got caught up in the great hair-ruffling war and got faked out by Ester, and all thoughts of personal hygiene completely slipped your mind. Was- was Ester too polite to mention it? She /does/ follow you close enough to count each individual hair on your head, there's no way she didn't notice...

In a flash of inspiration, you've got the perfect excuse. While you just wish it didn't make you feel so ashamed, you don't even have to pretend to turn beet-red as you straighten up and growl threateningly at the catgirl. Is she suggesting that you /smell/?

"Wha..." The catgirl's eyes widen, and she shakes her head quickly, ears flattening against her head. You also note that she's averting her eyes. "N-no, that's not what I'm talking about at all!"

Oh, /really/. You tromp through the snow to stand nose-to-nose with her, causing her to backpedal frantically, covering her nose- it seems sensitive, good to know- and place your hands on your hips. You're an adventurer! You can't help the way you smell!

(Cont.)
>>
>>35437200
"Oh GAWD! Go 'way! Your breath /reeks/ of alcohol!" she wails, tears coming to her eyes. "I was just sayin', that's all! I-I didn't mean-"

You press in on her personal space, and she's all but scrambling to get away from you, pupils thinning to a cat-like sliver once she hits the dragon behind her. You feel your braids bristling with an anger you don't have to feign. Is she saying that your BEER is inferior!?

"N-Nooo, go 'waaaaay-"

A hand suddenly falls on your shoulder, tugging you back- Ester. "Urist! C'mon, you've made your point! She's had enough!"

It's not hard to see why she'd say that. The catgirl's got both hands over her nose and she's actually starting to cry, making a nasally keening noise as she tries to hide behind the dead dragon's arm.

You feel like crying a little, yourself. Do... do you really smell THAT bad...?

[ ] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
[ ] [FINISH HER] Pull out the dogoo jelly and thrust them at the catgirl. Show No Mercy.
[ ] [LEAVE] Might as well finish the act! Raise your nose in the air and walk away from the catgirl. To the Basilicom!
[ ] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35437230
[ ] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
IF. She apologizes to the beer.
>>
>>35437230
>[ ] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
Urist really does need a bath though
>>
>>35437230
>[ ] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
WE ARE OFFERING A LITTLE TO SHOW HER THE ERROR OF HER WAYS
>>
>>35437257
This.
>>
>>35437230
>[x] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
She better appreciate our generosity! Booze is love! Booze is life!
>>
>>35437230
>[ ] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
>>
>>35437230
>[x] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
>[x] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!

We'll apologize, and she'll accept our apology with a drink of beer.
>>
>>35437230
[X] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
Spreading the glory of our beer, one person at a time.
>>
>>35437230
>[x] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
>[x] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
>>
>>35437230

>>35437257
>>35437347

Why not both?
>>
>>35437230
>[ ] [RELENT] Ester's right. You should probably back off and apologize.
>[ ] [BOOZE] Fine, MAYBE you can offer her your booze. Just a little!
>>
>>35437230
>[BOOZEPOLOGY] Let me make amends to you in the manner of my people, by getting you shitfaced!
>>
>>35437230

[x] [TEAR UP] Do... do you really stink that much?

Well, it's a valid concern for a moe personification.
>>
I can only imagine we'll be incredibly successful with our beerplomacy!
>>
>>35437428
> Urist has become legendary persuader
>>
>>35437425
hah yes.
>>
>>35437472
>Legendary Persuader
>not Legendary Beersuader
>>
>>35437653
For a dwarf whats the difference!?
>>
>>35437230
We have to ask Ester if we really do smell though
>>
>>35437230
[X] LEAVE

WE OUT
>>
>>35437200
>[X] RELENTING BOOZE

If this was any other sort of fight, you'd be struggling against whoever's pulling you away, yelling things like "Lemme at 'em!" or "Urist Twelfthbay cancels Fight: Interrupted by 'Asshole who's gonna get her arms broken in ten places if she doesn't leggo of me right now!'"

Your heart's not in it right now, so you let Ester pull you back, clamping down on your tears. "I don't stink that much! D... do I?"

"No, you... uh, aheheh, um, it's not /that/ bad!" The Dragon Warrior laughs nervously, petting your head like she's trying to soothe a vicious, terrible, totally badass beast (and that thought makes you feel a little better about yourself.) "But you did give the poor thing the most legendary scare she'll ever have in her life, so..."

... Ester's a pretty terrible liar, but she's got a point. You relax, letting her know that you're fine, and she lets go of you. Your first order of business is to wipe your eyes clea- oh god, ew, that's literally a trail of grime across your face, Armok preserve you.

Then you pipe up, trying to keep your voice steady as you apologize to the catgirl for wrecking the everloving shit out of her sinuses. You ignore the Dragon Warrior's mildly exasperated sigh, focused on the catgirl. She wipes away her tears and nods, but she's still scowling a little. And she's not stepping out from behind the dragon's leg.

(Cont.)
>>
>>35437922
Desperate measures are needed, so you uncork your flask and force yourself to hold it out to your victim, hand shaking a little as you muster up the willpower required to not snatch it back while cackling about your precious booze. It's just a gesture of goodwill, that's all. The catgirl actually leans forward and takes a sniff at the flask. She wrinkles her nose, but her curiosity's clearly gotten the better of her.

"Um... Urist, she isn't old enough to drink," Ester stage-whispers.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you HEAR the catgirl's indignation flare, just as you knew it would. "Am too! I can deal with somethin' like this just fine!" She snatches the flask from your hand and starts forcing a few gulps down, her face screwing up in shocked distaste and tears springing to her eyes again.

... Ester just had to go and say that, didn't she?

"What? It's not like she's going to-"

Whatever she was going to say is cut off by a soft 'thud' as the catgirl loses her balance and drops to the ground, looking absolutely shitfaced. Even before she hits the ground, you execute a flawless diving leap and catch the flask before it can spill any more of your precious, concentrated boozeahol.

[ ] [LEAVE] Good! Catgirl is taken care of. Let's leave her and go to the Basilicom, catgirls are always bad news.
[ ] [HIDE] Make sure the catgirl's sheltered from the cold or something, THEN leave. Your payday awaits.
[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
[ ] [RECOVER] Wait for catgirl to regain control of her motor functions, and play it from there.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
Make sure she's not picking Ester's pocket. That'd be terrible.

Catgirls are known to be thieves.
>>
>>35437946
[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
>>
>>35437946
>[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
God dammit we just can't get away from cats can we
>>
>>35437946
[X] [LEAVE]

As I said: WE OUT
>>
>>35437946
>[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
>>
>>35437946
>[X] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.

Now for part two: We know that throwing a bunny at a bronze colossus can decapitate it, but what can throwing a half-asleep drunk catgirl do?
>>
>>35437946
[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
We can wait while we take a bath
>>
>>35437946
>[x] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
Does our party roster have empty slots? Or is the screen too small to fit three?
>>
>>35437946
>[x ] [LEAVE] Good! Catgirl is taken care of. Let's leave her and go to the Basilicom, catgirls are always bad news.
>>
>>35437946
>[x] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
Ester has to do the dragging
>>
>>35438002
Oh, does your party roster ever have empty slots.
>>
>>35437946
>[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.

We need a bath.

A bath of booze.
>>
>>35437946
>[ ] [FIIIIINE] Drag her with you. You SUPPOSE you have some sort of moral obligation to make sure she won't get eaten by monsters.
>>
>>35438054
For a drink, of course.
>>
>>35438045
Yeah, that's what he asked.
>>
>>35438094
I never said we were going to bathe in it.
>>
Lemme guess, our party system is based off of Dorf Fortress population cap. We can fit in a hundred people.
>>
>>35438133
How lewd~
>>
>>35438149
"Literally one hundred people in my anus"
>>
>>35438201
Quantum stockpile.
>>
>>35438133
>based off of
Based on.
Because you can't pile things if they are off base.
>>
>>35437946
Take her with you towards a river. shower.
camp there until she wakes up.
get new party member
>>
>>35438149
>2lewd4me
>>
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>>35437946
>[X] FIIIIIIIINE

You pick yourself up and sullenly stare down at the catgirl. It really would be easier to leave her here. Bringing her with you would mean that you'd have to keep hiding the existence of your Sharicite, for one thing. Besides, the dragon's corpse is large enough that it should dissuade other adventurers from coming close (lest they be taken apart by whatever killed it), and you don't think there are many scavengers out here who'll pose a threat to a sleeping adventurer. Probably.

You glance over at Ester. She's got her usual grin on her face, but you know- you JUST know that she's the type of person who actually has morals. And she'll be all peppy and flighty and happy and she will absolutely refuse to budge one inch from this place until you agree to be nice to some random catgirl.

... you ask Ester if she can carry the catgirl. She immediately makes that ridiculous chortling noise and has the girl in a princess carry before you even finish talking. "I thought you'd never ask, Urist! Look at these cute little kitty ears!"

If you didn't know better, you'd think Ester wanted this to happen and start up a little sister collection. She basically dared the catgirl to drink herself stupid, didn't she?

"Of course not!" Ester draws herself up, looking affronted. She tries to, anyway. She's not really that good at it. "She only had one little drink! How was I supposed to know it'd be so legendarily strong?"

She /saw/ you pouring booze into your flask. At least three units of booze, and that's enough to booze up one dwarf for... what, nine weeks?

(Cont.)
>>
>>35438537
"A-Anyway, what're we going to do about her prey?" Ester nods her head toward the dragon's cooling corpse. "She's not going to be happy if we just leave it here, who knows how long she's been chasing i-"

The Dragon Warrior clams up as you unceremoniously stuff the dragon's corpse into your backpack. There, problem solved. You resume walking, and it's quite a few moments later that you feel Ester's breath at the top of your head again. And the carried catgirl's feet bumping against your back.

... really, it's like she's never seen someone completely screw with the laws of physics before.

[ ] [CALL] Right, you have some unfinished business with Mojang. Now's as good a time as any to give her a ring.
[ ] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.
[ ] [TIMESKIP] You can probably make it to the Basilicom by the end of the day, and you don't really want to risk another random encounter. Bathing and calling can wait 'til then!
>>
>>35438562
>[ ] [CALL] Right, you have some unfinished business with Mojang. Now's as good a time as any to give her a ring.
>>
>>35438562
[X] [CALL]
>>
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>>35438562
>[ ] [CALL] Right, you have some unfinished business with Mojang. Now's as good a time as any to give her a ring.
Shoving a dragon in our pack
cool
>>
>>35438562
>[ ] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.
Ugh super gross
>>
>>35438537
> you'd think Ester wanted this to happen and start up a little sister collection. She basically dared the catgirl to drink herself stupid, didn't she?

son of a bitch she did!

>>35438562
>[ ] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.
>>
>>35438562
>[x] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.
>>
>>35438562
>[ ] [CALL] Right, you have some unfinished business with Mojang. Now's as good a time as any to give her a ring.
Boy, I'm sure we will surprise someone later when we whip out an entire dragon corpse in front of them
>>
>>35438562
>[ ] [CALL] Right, you have some unfinished business with Mojang. Now's as good a time as any to give her a ring.
>[ ] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.
One then the other.
>>
>>35438562
>[ ] [CAMP] Take a break once you reach a river. You need a bath. Like, now. And maybe the catgirl will wake up in the middle of it and you can be rid of her.

Surprised this option isn't also called FIIINE
>>
>>35438562
>[X] CAMP!
>[X] CALL!

First things first: you smell. Between your last dungeon run, your fight against whatever that glitch was, and all this tromping around the world map, you've worked up one hell of a sweat. You're pretty sure you still have dogoo jelly encrusted on your armor- probably on your hands, too, and the /smell/ of that stuff takes a while to wash out.

You have neither the patience nor self control to deal with being this dirty for this long, so you call a stop at the first river you see and bust out your bar of soap. Behind you, Ester carefully puts down the catgirl, who pretty much conked out five minutes into the march.

... jeez. The Dragon Warrior isn't even out of breath.

"Ahahah... well, you know, I'm used to carrying unconscious allies out of battle." Ester seems inordinately proud of that fact. "Entire parties. That's part of why I'm a legendary hero, you know!"

What, does she drag them by their ankles or something?

Ester shakes her head, sitting cross-legged against a nearby tree. "Nah, I usually just put 'em in coffins and string them along behind me."

... wow. That sounds /really/ morbid.

"Not really! They're really comfortable coffins. Anyway, are you sure you wanna take a bath here?" Ester glances around, as if highlighting the sheer lack of other foliage in the area. "I mean, I can give you some privacy, but if anyone comes on over-"

Naah, it's fine. You don't give Ester time to reply as you lather your bar of soap over your body, clothes and armor included, and proceed to dump a bucketful of river water over your head. See? Done.

"Jeez, you're gonna- uwah-" Ester edges away from the pile of bloody mud (or muddy blood?) that spontaneously appeared next to your feet, but other than that, she doesn't lose a beat. "- catch a cold like that!"

It's fine, it's fine! Dwarves don't catch colds! Lowee doesn't even qualify as a glacier, not at this time of year.

"Still!!"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35439234
After a few minutes of back-and-forth bickering, you grudgingly accept one of Ester's spare cloaks, and you wrap it around your shoulders. It's a small cape on her, but just right for you. As the Dragon Warrior gets a fire going (she's not letting you do anything until you dry off), you pull out your phone again and stare at it for a bit, flipping back through Mojang's message to you.

... seriously. Becoming an exclusive representative of Leanbox? You're not really sure how to feel about that, and you're not even sure what you're going to say to Mojang. With a sigh, you punch in her number, opting for a video call, and-

"Bay-chan!"

- Mojang picks up on the second ring, beaming up at you from under the hood of her green parka. The strawberry blonde looks a little harried, but that thousand-watt smile pretty much hides whatever exhaustion she must be feeling right now. "You got my message! And you even called me back!"

You can't help but duck your head a little. Her smile's contagious. Jeez, are you really that bad with returning calls?

"You really are. You didn't even tell me where you were going!" Ah, you can hear her going into lecture mode. "People like us- we've got to stick together, you know!"

... you really don't know how much you two have in common anymore, other than being builders and survival adventurists, but you don't say that out loud. You've got other things on your mind, and- huh. Ester's already done with that fire, and she's sitting off to the side, her chin on her hands as she watches you talk.

She's grinning. Like, /grinning/ grinning.

[ ] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
[ ] [GRILL] Cut straight to the chase. What's this about her and Leanbox, anyway?
[ ] [ESTER] ... what? What's that grin for?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35439266
>[ ] [ESTER] ... what? What's that grin for?
Is Urist being cute without realizing it?
>>
[ ] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
>>
>>35439266
>[ ] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.

J-Just cause she's more popular than us doesn't make her better!
>>
>>35439266
>[x] [GRILL] Cut straight to the chase. What's this about her and Leanbox, anyway?
>>
>>35439266
>[x] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
>>
>>35439266
>[ ] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
[ ] [ESTER] ... what? What's that grin for?
>>
>>35439266
>[x] [ESTER] ... what? What's that grin for?
SUSPICIOUS.
>>
>>35439266
>[ ] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
>>
>>35439266
[X] [SMALL TALK]
>>
>>35439266
>[x] [SMALL TALK] You're in no particular hurry. You might even owe it to Mojang to chat a bit.
"And I like, tooootally found some, like, Sharicite, you know? It was like totally awesome!"
>>
>>35439266
>[X] [SMALL TALK]
>[X] [ESTER, after the call's over]

Nnngh. Ester's shit-eating grin is really kind of embarrassing, and you want to take her to task on it, but... you resolutely turn away from the self-styled legendary hero, making a mental note to ask her about this later. After what you normally put Mojang through, she deserves your full attention.

You want to be friends with Mojang, you really do. She's a good girl; she's a hard worker, and she's looked up to you ever since she started adventuring. In a way, the younger girl takes a lot of her cues from /you/. You think that's really weird because all you're good for is drinking, murdering, and being crippled by a mountainload of horrible bugs, but Mojang's been really insistent that you're one of her biggest inspirations.

Even after she became a smash hit with Leanbox and Lastation- Mojang's always been better at adapting to Gamindustri, and Gamindustri responded in kind- she keeps telling people that she looks up to you, with an earnestness that's so bright that it almost hurts. Sure, people look you up and most of them are immediately scared away, but... Mojang's actions show that even now, the success hasn't gone to her head.

You really want to be Mojang's friend, but something in you always grows a little queasy when you're around her. You've never been able to pin it down, not exactly, and it makes you feel /terrible/ since it's unfair to her. Maybe some small, bitter part of you insists that Mojang's doing it wrong, that she could have learned more from you or used more of your tricks.

Maybe it's just raw envy. She'll do better than you ever will, after all.

(Cont.)
>>
>>35439980
You're not sure if Mojang actually knows this, but she doesn't begrudge you your personal space. All she asks is that you keep in touch with her, and you're fulfilling that promise right now. That doesn't stop you from fidgeting in place, both under Ester's grin and because you can feel yourself becoming more awkward and oh god why this.

"... mm! I'm doing just fine, Bay-chan!"

Y-You didn't even ask yet! Stop reading your mind! And she totally shouldn't call you 'Bay-chan'!

"Aha! I KNEW that's what you were going to ask!" Mojang chirrups back, beaming at you as your protests slide off her back like water off a duck's feathers. "And you're nothing if not Bay-chan to me, so you should give it up by now!"

Ooh, that little- you oughtta-!

The minutes fly by as you settle back into your usual routine: she keeps up her energetic perkiness for far longer than should be physically possible, and you grump and grumble and do your best to stay dwarfy, gruffly asking her how she's doing every now and then.

You just finish telling her about your time in Lowee, where you totally brutalized a skeleton elephant (adding that you had some help from a friend, when Ester's grin starts growing into something that'll come back to bite you later), when someone calls to Mojang from off-screen.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35440002
"Uwah, it's that time already!? Sorry, sorry! I'll be right there!" Mojang turns back to you, looking sheepish. "Sorry, Bay-chan, I'm actually at the Basilicom- I mean, the one in Leanbox- and we're just about to finish up the paperwork. I'm going to meet Green Heart herself!!"

... oh. Crap. You actually meant to talk to her about that, didn't you.

[ ] [O-OKAY] Smile and nod. You'll have time to talk later; no need to pressure her now.
[ ] [PRIDE] She's made you proud. Try to wish her the best. Try not to be awkward.
[ ] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
[ ] [PROMISE] Promise to meet up with her sometime later. You really ought to congratulate her in person, when you're free.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35440032
>[x] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
Grills are VERY important! Don't get a grill you're not compatible with, Mojang!
>>
>>35440032
>[ ] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
>[ ] [PROMISE] Promise to meet up with her sometime later. You really ought to congratulate her in person, when you're free.
>>
>>35440032
[x] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
And if she ever needs help, all she has to do is call.
>>
>>35440032
>[ ] [PROMISE] Promise to meet up with her sometime later. You really ought to congratulate her in person, when you're free.
Congrats Mojang
>>
>>35440032
>[x] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
>[x] [PRIDE] She's made you proud. Try to wish her the best. Try not to be awkward.
>>
>>35440032
[X] [PRIDE]

Honestly, she's fucking up by taking this deal, but I'm not about to make her second guess herself when she's this happy.
>>
>>35440032
>[ ] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
>[ ] [PROMISE] Promise to meet up with her sometime later. You really ought to congratulate her in person, when you're free.
>>
>>35440032
>[ ] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
>[ ] [PROMISE] Promise to meet up with her sometime later. You really ought to congratulate her in person, when you're free.
>>
>>35440032
>[ ] [GRILL] Ask her if she's really okay with this. It's a big decision, after all.
>>
>>35440032
>[X] [GRILL]
>[X] [PROMISE]

Jeez, you didn't even get to say everything you wanted to say!! You really can't help growing a little panicked, and you flail for a second or two before turning your babble into something coherent. She's- she's really okay with this, right? This is a big step! Y-You've heard some weird things about Leanbox, and you know how much she likes to work in Lastation, she-

"Bay-chan! Bay-chan, listen to me, it'll be fine!" Mojang huffs, cutting you off before you can start threatening violence against Green Heart if anything bad happens. "They're not barring me from taking up Lastation contracts!"

... what now? That's a thing?

"I know! It's really super rare, and I triple-checked, but-!" she all but squeals, flapping her sleeves in excitement. "I'm not gonna look a gift creeper in the mouth!"

That's a horrible analogy!

"It'll be fine! I'm thankful you're worried! I mean, not that I'm happy that you're stressed, it's just- ah, I really have to go, Bay-chan-"

You blurt it out right before she hangs up. That you'll be around if she needs help, and that you're gonna go see her once you have time. To congratulate her in person.

... that might've been kinda dumb to say, since you don't know when you'll have time to jet on over, but it's almost worth it to see Mojang light up like a Christmas tree, her eyes sparkling even through the video feed. "You're the best, Bay-chan! You're the best big sister ever-"

N-NO that's- seriously! She's going to be late! You'll talk to her later!

"Ah, that's right! Bye-bye!"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35440672
You hang up and bring a hand up to your face, trying to will the blush to go the fuck away, but it's too late. Ester pounces, both figuratively and literally.

"Nfu, nhuhuhuhu..." The Dragon Warrior chortles and traps you in a headlock before you can flee, resting her chin on your head and putting an end to your struggles. "'Big sister' Urist, huh? That's absolutely precious! I KNEW I made the right choice to stick around with you!"

Goddammit, Ester, is THAT why she was staring at you this whole time!?

"Of course not!" Taking advantage of your cleanliness, she rubs her cheek against the top of your head, ignoring your choking sputter of indignation. "I was just wondering about you, 'cause you're a girl of a whole bunch of legendary mysteries all wrapped up in an enigma, you know?"

And because she could sense the presence of a little sister figure on the other side of the line through sound only.

"Guilty as charged!"

... ghk. You've got other things to take care of, come on now.

[ ] [CHECK CATGIRL] Figure out what to do with her. Maybe she'll wake up and you won't have to deal with her anymore. What horrible deity would combine cats and humans? What if she has kittens??
[ ] [GET A MOVE ON] The Basilicom awaits! Seriously, you swear you're gonna get wrapped up in another random encounter or some shit.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [CHECK CATGIRL] Figure out what to do with her. Maybe she'll wake up and you won't have to deal with her anymore. What horrible deity would combine cats and humans? What if she has kittens??
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [GET A MOVE ON]
>>
>>35440699
>[x ] [GET A MOVE ON] The Basilicom awaits! Seriously, you swear you're gonna get wrapped up in another random encounter or some shit.
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [GET A MOVE ON] The Basilicom awaits! Seriously, you swear you're gonna get wrapped up in another random encounter or some shit.
Maybe we can sell the Sharicite before MonHun wakes up and we won't have to share the reward
>>
>>35440699
>[CHECK CATGIRL]
>[DRINK WITH CATGIRL]
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [CHECK CATGIRL] Figure out what to do with her. Maybe she'll wake up and you won't have to deal with her anymore. What horrible deity would combine cats and humans? What if she has kittens??
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [GET A MOVE ON] The Basilicom awaits! Seriously, you swear you're gonna get wrapped up in another random encounter or some shit.
Lets get PAID
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [GET A MOVE ON] The Basilicom awaits! Seriously, you swear you're gonna get wrapped up in another random encounter or some shit.
We got a hunk of Sharicite that needs a selling
>>
don't forget to bring the catgirl along.
>>
>>35440699
[x] [CHECK CATGIRL] Figure out what to do with her. Maybe she'll wake up and you won't have to deal with her anymore. What horrible deity would combine cats and humans? What if she has kittens??
>>
>>35440699
>[x] [CHECK CATGIRL] Figure out what to do with her. Maybe she'll wake up and you won't have to deal with her anymore. What horrible deity would combine cats and humans? What if she has kittens??
>>
>>35440699
Bring the cat if we do start moving.
>>
>>35440854
>>35440815
Don't worry, she'll be brought along.

... although it WOULD be funny if you guys left her behind
>>
>>35440699
>[ ] [GET A MOVE ON]
>>
>>35440921
as if Ester would let us do anything but collect more little sisters.
>>
>>35440921
And we stole her dragon
>>
>>35440921
Can we?
>>
>>35441029
Ester has clam her as a little sister. so no we can't.
>>
>>35440921
Leave the cat keep her dragon
>>
>>35441029
It's an open option! But Urist would probably need a good argument lined up for Ester's- yeah, basically >>35441029
>>
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Actually, though going straight to the Basilicom has basically won, IMPROMPTU VOTE:
[ ] [KEEP CAT]
[ ] [LEAVE CAT]
>>
>>35441060
Final destination it!
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
[x] [LEAVE CAT]

FOR TEH LULZ!
>>
>>35441090
/[X] [DEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [LEAVE CAT]
Its funnier that way.
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [LEAVE CAT]
>>
>>35441090
[x] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
keep
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
Gotta keep Monster Hunter Chan.
>>
>>35441090
[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[SPLASH CAT]
>>
>>35441090
> [ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[X] [LEAVE CAT]
>>
>>35441090
[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
So when does Urist get a fey mood? Is gonna happen randomly or is based on dice rolls?
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT PRISONER]
>>
>>35441090
>[x] [LEAVE CAT]
More amusing.
>>
>>35441090
>>[]Go into Depression Spiral.
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[x] [KEEP CAT]
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
Monster Hunter is awesome.
>>
>>35441090
>put back on fake beard for comfort
>>
>>35441173
Might be based on multiple factors
>[TIME SINCE LAST BOOZE]
>[TIME SINCE LAST MURAL]
>[DEPRESSION LEVEL]
>[INSPIRATION LEVEL]
>>
>>35441090
>[ ] [KEEP CAT]
>>
Right, KEEP CAT looks like it wins, so- writing!

>>35441173
Probably a mixture of both, although Urist is much more likely to go fey mooding if she's got a fortress of her own.

... of course, there are a number of obstacles she has to overcome to make /that/ possible. We'll have to see!
>>
>>35441090
>>35440699
>[X] [GET A MOVE ON]

Right then, time's a-wasting. You take a fortifying swig from your flask- all things considered, the catgirl didn't really take a whole lot into her- and after a minute or so to collect your thoughts, you resume your march to the capital.

... you can FEEL Ester's big doofy grin, burning into the back of your head because she thinks you're adorable and nothing you can do will ever shake that impression. It probably doesn't help that she's got an armful of catgirl. You do your best to ignore it over the long hours.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35441501
Lowee's capital rises up in the distance. Despite its age, it doesn't have much in the way of skyscrapers; rather, the city sprawls haphazardly across the plains, as if the buildings all grew naturally from the ground. That many of the buildings, brightly colored and gently curved, have a mushroom motif going on only serves to solidify that impression.

That feeling really doesn't dissipate when you pass the gates and enter the city limits, strolling through the clean streets. You'd almost be comfortable, but all the colors and cleanliness can't cover up the fact that this city is ancient. All the furnishings of the town are up to date, but many of the streets are well-worn, as are the buildings; everyone you see, all the residents of the city, are kind and- for lack of a better word, /stable/. Lowee's capital seems almost unshakable, secure in its proud, stable history and bright, equally stable future.

You can't quite put your thumb on why that bugs you a little. Maybe it all feels stagnant to you, since you've been out in the field so much, or maybe it's because you really don't think Lowee would ever accept you as an adventurer. You're much too chaotic.

Time passes fairly quickly; you and Ester quickly book a small room in one of the city's many inns, plunking the catgirl hunter down on one of the beds. She's still out cold, so you leave her there with a written note, most of it apologies.

[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
[ ] [WAIT] Tell her to wait in the room for you.
[ ] [NOPE] Leave it at that. No skin off your back if she skedaddles.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
...
[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
I don't think there's enough room in the room to leave the dragon
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
right on top of her
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
>[ ] [WAIT] Tell her to wait in the room for you.

not enough room to leave the dragon
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
>[ ] [WAIT] Tell her to wait in the room for you.
>>
>>35441534
>[X] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
>[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>
>>35441534
[x] [WAIT] Tell her to wait in the room for you.
[x] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.

I fully expect to get back and find her halfway through butchering it and we'll join in without comment.
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
>[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>35441534
>[ ] [NOPE] Leave it at that. No skin off your back if she skedaddles.
>>
>>35441534
>[ ] [BASILICOM] Tell her you'll be at the Basilicom. It shouldn't take too long, but...
>[ ] [DRAGON] Leave her dead dragon with her.
>>
>>35441579
>>35441587
>>35441601

"Sorry about the booze. Went to Basilicom. Back later. Dragon's in the pack."

Maybe she'll open it in the room.
>>
>>35441534
>[X] [BASILICOM]
>[X] [DRAGON]

"Jeez! How're you even DOING that?" Ester asks, her eyebrows raised so high that they're up to her hairline. It's the same expression she gave you after you demolished that skelephant with your bare hands.

You don't answer for a moment, stepping back and wiping the blood and grime from your hands onto your pants, nodding in satisfaction at a job well done. The dragon, thirty feet long and who knows how many tons, has been squeezed into the corner of the room, occupying a space far too small for it to fit comfortably. And yet it does.

Quantum stockpile. Can't live without 'em. You turn to leave, and blink when you see Ester covering her eyes with her hands.

"I-I think I'm getting a migraine," she whimpers. "It shouldn't fit, it REALLY shouldn't fit, and yet..."

... after you help Ester come to grips with your everyday desecration of physics and sanity, you add to your note, in big blocky letters: DO NOT STARE INTO THE CORNER, IT WILL MELT YOUR BRAIN.

Yes, that should help.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>35442264
It's not a very long walk to the Basilicom, even from all the way across town where the cheaper hotels were. Hell, it's not even a very big building, for something that serves as a goddess's seat of power; it looks more like a church than anything else. A surprisingly new one at that, judging by the decor; then again, Lowee's suffered through its fair share of wars, so maybe that's to be expected.

You've never set foot inside a Basilicom before, so you didn't know what to expect. The inside of the Basilicom is a different matter entirely, a complete opposite of its unassuming exterior. You can't help but gawk at the stained glass windows, intricately detailed with engravings that MUST be at least masterwork level. It's a colorful display of the greatest moments in Lowee history, made vibrant and almost alive by the sunlight filtering through them. The light bathes you and everyone around you in a riot of colors that should be jarring, but instead manages to be soft and soothing, lending an air of solemnity to White Heart's seat of power.

(Cont.)
>>
>>35442281
You don't realize that you've been spacing out until you hear, rather distantly, the sounds of an argument. You start to tense up, but realize that it's coming from /outside/ the Basilicom, not the inside- which is pretty peaceful, since Ester's just chatting up one of the old priests at the door, one of White Heart's receptionists or some such.

"- aw, c'mon, you're making me blush!" Ester gushes. "You don't need to be so formal! I mean, I owe you guys a lot, right? I got my start here!"

The old priest cuts her off with a shake of his head, grinning beneath his beard. "Now, now, Lady Ester, don't be so modest! If not for you, who knows where Lowee would be nowadays? We do our best to keep your memory alive for all the young 'uns, but you know how they are..."

... oof. This might take a while.

[ ] [ESTER] Keep an eye on Ester's conversation. Maybe even slide yourself in.
[ ] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
[ ] [NEWS] Stand outside and surreptitiously check your newfangled phone. Apparently, it can keep track of news feeds or some such.
[ ] [OUTSIDE] Glance outside. See what all the fuss is about.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>35442306
>[x ] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
>>
>>35442306
>[ ] [OUTSIDE] Glance outside. See what all the fuss is about.
The glass is making me curious, but it'll still be here when we finish up
>>
[X] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
>>
>>35442306
[ ] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
[ ] [ESTER] Keep an eye on Ester's conversation.
>>
[ ] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
Level up engraving? Please. Our last showing was slightly embarrassing. We're lucky Ester's ass erased it from history.
>>
>>35442306
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Be envious of Priest's beard
>>
>>35442306
[x] [BEARD] Grumble about lack of beard.
>>
>>35442306
>[FRESCOES]

We could use this for an engraving.
>>
>>35442306
>[ ] [FRESCOES] Study the stained glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-quality engraving, and there's a LOT of history here.
>Be envious of Priest's beard
>>
>>35442306
>[][WRESTLE] Rip off his beard. Claim it as your own.
>>
>Study the stained glass beards
>Be envious of Priest's frescoe
>>
>>35442306
>[X] [FRESCOES] Study the beard glass windows. Seriously, this is some high-beard engraving, and there's a LOT of beard here.
>[X] [BEARD] Beardmoan lack of beard. Beard envious of beard's priest.
>>
>>35442306
>[X] [FRESCOES]
>[X] [BEARD]

Your eyes linger on Ester and the old man, at the warmth in their voices and how easily the Dragon Warrior carries herself in this place. While the weight of history presses down on you, it seems to lift something from Ester's shoulders. Normally, you'd wonder about that.

... except you're fixated on the old man's beard. It's not at all properly dwarven, since it's just long and not all that wide and kind of crooked, but it hypnotizes you. Fills you with a sense of longing. It's... it's a shit beard, but you'd settle for one like it /so badly/. Goddamn.

You promised yourself you wouldn't cry.

Ignoring the stares from passerby and tourists, you upend the rest of your flask into your mouth, comforted by the fact that alcohol will always be here for you. You turn your attention away from the beard to study the frescoes in greater detail, starting from the earliest in the series, chronologically speaking. This engraving is of the highest quality, and-

... wow. Okay. You... you figured that Lowee's history would be happy and cutesy and feature a lot of plumbers in overalls, but the entire first pane looks absolutely metal as fuck. It's CPU White Heart as a vengeful force of nature, dreadful and fiery and standing in full battle regalia (such as it is, since it's pretty skimpy). She's wielding some kind of monstrous bleeding maul while a D-Pad, simple and ubiquitous, rises dominant in the background. Unfamiliar goddesses and broken electronics are strewn all around White Heart in a pile of horrific defeat; most of them are strange arcane pieces of equipment that have no modern-day equivalent.

The only other individual you recognize is Purple Heart, wielding the bastard child of a keyboard and a joystick controller, caught at the moment of her defeat.

(Cont.)
>>
>>35443108
The next fresco is more along the lines of what you expected, although the sense of badassery hasn't quite faded, given the number of bodies still strewn around White Heart. White Heart and Purple Heart are locked in combat, although White Heart has the upper hand. Again. Behind them, a girl in blue overalls and a red cap leaps triumphantly into the foreground, radiating hope and dreams and a truly ridiculous number of stars and coins.

... well, everyone knows THIS story, so you don't spend a whole lot of time on it, skipping straight to the next fresco.

White Heart isn't quite as untouchable here; for the first time, she isn't on the warpath, crouching as if injured or wary of her enemies, and her hammer is damaged and cracked. Purple Heart and one of her most iconic weapons, the Mega Drive, menaces with arcs of black lightning, and the only thing standing between her and White Heart is a black-haired, sword-and-board-wielding warrior clad in truly ridiculous blue armor and

holy shit

that's Ester

(Cont.)
>>
>>35443129
You don't even bother to rub your eyes and double check. It literally cannot be anyone but Ester; she's presented in the same style as the legendary (hah) plumber, glowing with an inner fire and radiating hope and dreams. What's truly startling about it is that there's almost literally no difference between the Ester depicted here and the Ester standing just a few feet away from you- they even got the detailing on her shield right, that silly dogoo face that's just begging to be smashed in.

You glance over to your peppy, flighty, and kind of ridiculous traveling companion. Ester's got a small crowd around her now, ranging from priests like that old BEARDED! man to tourists to visiting kids; some of them are asking for her autograph.

... jeez. When Ester told you she was born here, you didn't really think that she was... you know.

A national hero.

[ ] [INTERRUPT] Reacquire Ester, get back to your business of getting your pay day.
[ ] [FRESCOES] Keep studying the frescoes. Maybe one of them will have beards in it.
[ ] [OUTSIDE] There's still some stuff going on outside. Hasn't gotten any louder, at least.
[ ] [NEWS] Well, now NO ONE'S gonna see you check your phone.
[ ] [WAIT] Ester will be done soon enough. Wait for her to finish, and then pay day will occur.
[ ] [AUTOGRAPH] Can she sign your flask?
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [FRESCOES] Keep studying the frescoes. Maybe one of them will have beards in it.
[ ] [WAIT] Ester will be done soon enough. Wait for her to finish, and then pay day will occur.
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [NEWS] Well, now NO ONE'S gonna see you check your phone.
We'll get an autograph later, all gruff-like.
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [OUTSIDE] There's still some stuff going on outside. Hasn't gotten any louder, at least.
Okay, now I'm kind of curious
>>
>>35443149
>[FRESCOES] Keep studying the frescoes. Maybe one of them will have beards in it.
>[BEARD] Continue to be quietly envious of the priest's beard.
>[BEER] Hey, you know what sounds like beard? Beer. Have some.
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [NEWS] Well, now NO ONE'S gonna see you check your phone.
>>
>>35443252
Seconding this.
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [INTERRUPT] Reacquire Ester, get back to your business of getting your pay day.
>[ ] [OUTSIDE] There's still some stuff going on outside. Hasn't gotten any louder, at least.
>[ ] [NEWS] Well, now NO ONE'S gonna see you check your phone.
>>
>>35443149

>[NEWS] Well, now NO ONE'S gonna see you check your phone.

Also mutter angrily to ourself about lacking beards, Ester being in the spotlight, the lack of /more/ alcohol and similar stuff
>>
>>35443149
>[FRESCOES] Keep studying the frescoes. Maybe one of them will have beards in it.
>[BEARD] Continue to be quietly envious of the priest's beard.
>[BEER] Hey, you know what sounds like beard? Beer. Have some.
>>
>>35443149
>[ ] [FRESCOES] Keep studying the frescoes. Maybe one of them will have beards in it.
>>
>>35443149
>[X] [FRESCOES]
>[X] [NEWS]
>[X] [BEARDS, BOOZE, AND THUNDER]

You're entranced by the sight of Ester. Ester, who's smiling radiantly, like one who's finally come home after years of wandering. Ester, who may very well be a big sister figure to countless adventurers, and an unattainable role model to countless more.

... Ester, who's currently surrounded by priests. Priests with beards. Beards of all kinds: skinny beards, thick wonderful beards, luxurious Santa beards, lamb chop beards that provide wonderfully fluffy protection from ear to ear. Beards you will never have. You're really far too tempted to go over there, blubbering and beseeching these bearded men to share their beard secrets with you, and give you their blessing so that you too will have the privilege of growing hairs on your chin-

... crap. Your lip's quivering. If you keep thinking about this, you're really gonna end up causing a scene, so you take out your back-up alcohol flask (still full, thankfully) and chug it down. Right. Back to fresco-viewing, seriously.

You can't help but notice something as you take up the place where you left off: there are a LOT of frescoes remaining. Judging by the presence of Planeptune's Mega Drive, Ester really did pop up early on in Lowee's history, but... a cursory glance reveals that she's pretty conspicuously absent from the majority of the frescoes.

You're not sure what to make of that, so you put it out of your mind and continue studying the frescoes.

(cont.)
>>
>>35444067
In this next one? There are no longer bodies strewn everywhere, but White Heart, recovered and raring to go despite the state of her equipment, wages war on two fronts: there's Purple Heart, as always, but she's still on the attack, despite Ester's best efforts. There's another woman attacking White Heart, sharing a similarly white color scheme, but you don't recognize her. You don't know of any CPUs with massive clawed gauntlets and an equally massive rack, but according to this fresco, she had an absolutely ridiculous amount of hardware backing her up. It's enough to make White Heart's maul look like a twig in comparison.

Ester is absent from the next fresco, but that doesn't seem to have an impact on its tone: one of barely constrained triumph, a light at the end of the tunnel. The strange CPU and Purple Heart have receded to the background, though there's the sense that it's temporary; they barely have any marks on them, despite White Heart's maul looking like it's on its last legs. A squadron of handheld devices, with green screens and compact buttons, soar overhead; next to White Heart is none other than, of all things, CPU Black Heart, and they're shaking hands in a strange show of camaraderie.

... you never really bothered to learn any of Gamindustri's history. You're really starting to reconsider the wisdom of that. Maybe there's something on your phone-

You pull out your phone, leaning against the wall to make yourself comfortable. Before you start digging into any online resources, you decide to check out the headlines; ever since that one time you nearly got trapped in a ruins slated for demolition, you've been trying to get yourself into the habit of keeping up with the news.

(Cont.)
>>
>>35444098
There's really nothing that catches your eye, aside from some blurb about increased monster activity across Gamindustri; that sort of thing ebbs and wanes, so it's no skin off your back. CPU Green Heart hasn't made very many public announcements lately, but she's always been mysterious and reserved, so that's no surprise. CPU Purple Heart's sudden disappearance from the public eye is a little weirder, but she has a reputation for strange, daring maneuvers, so-

You're interrupted by a shadow falling over you; you look up, blinking owlishly, and you're almost convinced that one of the frescoes came to life until you realize that it's just Ester. The real flesh and blood Ester, not the stained glass one; just seeing her grinning her usual dopey grin is sort of surreal, after seeing her portrayed as a vengeful hero of legend.

Ester's next sentence wipes all thought of frescoes and history and beards from your mind.

"It's time, Urist! White Heart's gonna meet us in person!"

Wait, that-

... what?

[TO BE CONTINUED]
>>
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>>35444136
Alright, I'm slowing down pretty badly, and this is as good a place to end as any, so I think it's time to call the thread here. Thanks a lot for participating, and I hope you guys had fun (what with all the paragraphs and paragraphs of !!exposition!!, yikes)!

Next thread's going to be this coming Sunday, 10/12, at 7 pm EST!

Any changes to schedule will be on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and if you've got any questions or concerns or anything, feel free to post them here and I'll try to get to them before the thread's archived. There's also http://ask.fm/BlorpQuest, so questions can definitely go there, too. Again, thanks, and hope to see you next time!
>>
>>35444217
>White Heart's gonna meet us in person!"
Aw yes, time to meet best megami, next time at least

Fun thread Blorp, can't wait for next time
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>>35444217
thanks for running, this is hilarious.
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>>35444136
Lets see if she can use her animoo powers to grow us a beard.
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>>35444217
Thanks for running!
>>
I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what most of these references are.
>>
>>35444230
>>35444269
>>35444311
>>35444331
Glad you enjoyed the thread! blanc really is pretty best

>>35444528
If you're talking about the stained glass windows, it's pretty much just Nintendo's super early history written out in Neptunia's setting, literally the entire stretch of Famicom's lifespan.

I can try to lay it out more if you'd like, since it's a pretty stylized depiction.
>>
>>35444528
the only one I know much about is Dwarf Fortress/computers, and little bits and pieces from consoles.
>>
>>35444587
Ah I see the problem, I know jack all about neptunia.
>>
>>35444681
Its the personified game industry. As told by a company still bitter about losing out on the console race decades ago. (SEGA)

Still waiting on Ouya-tan.
>>
>>35444681
This quest actually takes less from Neptunia than you'd think; I'm borrowing the overall setting (and a number of canon characters, like the goddesses), but the quest doesn't really stick close to any one game.

Hell, Neptunia plays relatively fast and loose with its own continuity, and multiple dimensions are canon- the first game basically stands alone, the second game is its own canon, the third game technically follows from the second game but takes place in a different dimension, and the spinoffs are a whole other kettle of fish.

... tl;dr, this quest doesn't require being Neptunia-savvy! At least, that's my goal.
>>
>>35444815
Ah. Well how about an explanation on who the various Hearts are? Only thing I'm really that lost on.
>>
>>35444528
Famicom's initial debut crushing all the earlier consoles (it would have been more a wasteland thanks to E.T. but the priests probably wanted something flashier).

Then Sega's various ill-fated and better forgotten SG systems (controller/keyboard hybrids).

Then, when White Heart has the upper hand, would be Sega's release of the Master System. The girl in blue overalls and red cap is Mario (Maria?).

White Heart on the defensive is the SNES/Genesis era, when Sega was briefly ahead.

White Heart on two fronts is still the SNES/Genesis era, but with Sega having the Sega CD and 32x.

The final one we looked at is heading into the fifth generation, and depicting the partnership between Nintendo and Sony to develop a console with cartridge and cd capability. There is definitely no way that could go wrong.
>>
>>35444846
The various Hearts are either the company in general or that company's leading platform in particular. White Heart is Nintendo, Green Heart is Microsoft, Black Heart is Sony, and Purple Heart is Sega.
>>
>>35444846
Right, let's see- the Hearts (meaning the goddesses/CPUs, I use the terms interchangeably) each head one of the big four nations/existing console companies:

Blanc, White Heart - Lowee / Nintendo
Noire, Black Heart - Lastation / Playstation
Vert, Green Heart - Leanbox / XBox
Neptune, Purple Heart - Planeptune / Sega
>>
>>35444587
>Blanc best
>likes boobs
You're an odd man Blorp
>>
>>35444950
Real close! Gonna expand on that a little, since I drew a lot from Japanese video gaming history as well:

>>35443108
Fresco 1: Nintendo absolutely devastating the competition, a lot of them smaller companies, primarily because none of them adapted the D-Pad until too late. Sega's pre-Genesis systems tended toward this as well, although it also had the hideous luck of releasing an 8-bit system too close in time to Nintendo's.

>>35443129
Fresco 2: Sega finally hitting gold with the Sega Mark III, an 8-bit system technically superior to Nintendo's Famicom- except Sega got hideously unlucky, since Nintendo soon after released Super Mario Bros, making history and hitting it even bigger.

Fresco 3: Nintendo facing stiffer competition, STILL managing to hang on with the goddamn Famicom against TurboGrafx-16/PC Engine and the Sega Master Drive/Genesis; notably, Dragon Warrior III came out the same year as the Genesis and helped Famicom hold its own.

Except I forgot to put PC Engine in this fresco, whoops.


>>35444098
Fresco 4: Nintendo getting its ass handed to it by the increasing specs of the Sega Mega Drive and PC Engine's ridiculous number of add-ons and buffs to its existing systems; to put it in perspective, Nintendo had to rely entirely on the 8-bit Famicom to fight against one 16-bit system and one system with CD-ROM games(!)

Fresco 5: Nintendo, still battling with the goddamn Famicom, giving itself another lease on life by announcing a new upcoming system, the SNES, with a planned CD drive peripheral, made by Sony, and literally just called the Playstation.

Hope that helps!

>>35445014
Well, I DID say I like Noire as well, that should totally count!
>>
>>35445346
What do Urist stats look like?
>>
>>35445346
please dont tell us stats like >>35445695 asked, will just bog down any fun if people try and min-max everything.
>>
>>35445695
She's a dwarf from the Dwarffortress universe. Lets not dwell on it, the fun comes from mannerisms and glitches anyway
>>
Hyperdimension Neptunia AND Dwarf Fortress?
What wonderful insanity have we here?



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