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>>35392041
Instead, you're forced to squint against the afternoon sun. You... you're in some sort of traveler's inn, lying on an uncomfortably soft bed. Like, a bed with a mattress. And there are actually /pillows/ underneath your head. You use them to prop yourself up into a sitting position, rubbing the drowsiness from your eyes, and take a few seconds to take in your surroundings. Judging by the mushrooms adorning the walls, you're still somewhere in Lowee. Your stuff's piled in one corner of the room, your patchwork armor haphazardly dumped over your beat-up leather backpack.

Ester sits on the chair next to your bed; the black-haired Dragon Warrior's out cold, her head nodding downward and her arms crossed over her chest. She looks none the worse for wear.

Since your last waking memory involved monsters and glitching and the loss of various internal organs, this sudden peace and quiet is almost surreal.

>CHOOSE TWO:
[ ] [ESTER] Take some time to look Ester over. Something about her has been bugging you for a while.
[ ] [URIST] Take some time to check yourself over. Hopefully, you aren't missing limbs or organs.
[ ] [DFHACK] Tinker with your newly acquired toolkit. You might even succeed without blowing something up!
[ ] [DREAM] Try to remember what you were dreaming about. Maybe it was something important.
[ ] [PARANOIA] What if... what if this isn't real? What if you're still trapped in the glitch??

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>35392064
>[ ] [ESTER] Take some time to look Ester over. Something about her has been bugging you for a while.
>[ ] [URIST] Take some time to check yourself over. Hopefully, you aren't missing limbs or organs.

>>35392064
[x] [ESTER] Take some time to look Ester over. Something about her has been bugging you for a while.
[x] [URIST] Take some time to check yourself over. Hopefully, you aren't missing limbs or organs.
If we were still trapped in the glitch, there would be cats everywhere. Because lmao2cat

>Ester
>Urist

e[X]amine self.

>>35392064
>[x] [ESTER] Take some time to look Ester over. Something about her has been bugging you for a while.
>[x] [URIST] Take some time to check yourself over. Hopefully, you aren't missing limbs or organs.

>>35392064
>[ ] [ESTER] Take some time to look Ester over. Something about her has been bugging you for a while.
>[ ] [URIST] Take some time to check yourself over. Hopefully, you aren't missing limbs or organs.

But remember to be paranoid

>>35392064
>[URIST] Check yourself over!

Your organs appear to be intact. Hell, you don't even feel any pain anymore, and that almost NEVER happens at the end of a dungeon run. Although- wait, if ALL your armor's piled in the corner, then that means you-

... alright, yeah, seems someone changed you while you were out like a light. You're currently wearing some sort of nightgown. It's comfortable, but a little too soft for your tastes, and it's just a little too big for your frame. You're used to that, though. No one ever seems to make clothing- normal, sensible, actually-somewhat-protective clothing- in your size.

You reach up to feel your head. Thankfully, your thick, messy braids are still intact, and no one tried to undo your hair while you were asleep. Sure, they're heavy and the ends are bristled enough that they could be used to sweep the floor clean, but you'd rather not waste time and energy tying your braids back up.

You're not very good at dealing with your hair, and all sorts of things tend to get caught in your hair when you're tying up your braids (household objects, living animals, unfortunate bystanders). It's safe to say that you tie your braids like a hangman ties a noose: at the end of it, someone's gonna die horribly.

(Cont.)

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>>35392663
>[ESTER] Take some time to look her over.

The first thing you do once your vision's cleared up is look at Ester, the adventurer you met in the ruins and (at her insistence) your current party member.

The last time you saw Ester, she'd been trapped in some glitch monster's attack, locking her down in midair and screwing with her physical being. Not that you can tell that by looking at her. You lean back to rest against your pillows, breathing a sigh of relief. Seems you both got lucky; if the glitch had turned her brain inside-out or caused any long-term corruption, she'd be dead (or worse), and you'd still be comatose inside that dungeon.

... you sit back up. Come to think of it, between Ester's overbearing peppiness and trying not to die horribly, you never got a chance to take a real good look at your new acquaintance. Once you do so, however, you figure out EXACTLY what's been bugging you all this time, and why your dwarven instincts have been screaming bloody murder in the back of your mind.

Her armor doesn't make any damn sense.

At first, you'd assumed that she was wearing sensible upper-body armor, since you got a glimpse of a breastplate that wasn't boobplate. Except that's really not the case: sure, Ester's armor covers 3/4ths of her chest, but the remaining 1/4th is comprised of some sort of weird leather plates(?) held together by a studded belt. You can SEE her skin in the seams where the armor doesn't actually overlap, and you're pretty sure she isn't wearing an undershirt.

... reasonably sure. Unless that's flesh-colored clothing or something. Right...?

[ ] [POKE THE SEAMS] You have to be sure. It'll bug you for the rest of your days (or 30 minutes, whichever comes first) if you don't figure it out now!
[ ] [WAKE ESTER UP] Okay, seriously, you've got bigger things to worry about than bullshit armor physics. Like that chunk of Sharicite, and alcohol, and asking her what the hell's going on.

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>35392679
[ ] [POKE THE SEAMS] You have to be sure. It'll bug you for the rest of your days (or 30 minutes, whichever comes first) if you don't figure it out now!

>>35392679
>[ ] [POKE THE SEAMS] You have to be sure. It'll bug you for the rest of your days (or 30 minutes, whichever comes first) if you don't figure it out now!

>>35392679
>[ ] [POKE THE SEAMS] You have to be sure. It'll bug you for the rest of your days (or 30 minutes, whichever comes first) if you don't figure it out now!

>>35392679
>>[x] [POKE THE SEAMS] You have to be sure. It'll bug you for the rest of your days (or 30 minutes, whichever comes first) if you don't figure it out now!
ha ha time for aaaaahn~

>Poke

We'll have to forge her some real, dwarven armour later.

>>35392679
>[X] [WHY DID I THINK YOU GUYS WOULD CHOOSE ANYTHING ELSE]

... pfffthahahaha ALRIGHT, yeah, it's not even a question, and you don't even hesitate.

The moment that impulse crosses your mind, you're already throwing off the bedsheets and standing in front of Ester, glaring at her damn armor like it's an affront to everything you stand for. Actually, correction: it IS an affront, and your dwarven pride insists that you talk her into wearing something that isn't an open invitation for a knife between her ribs.

You spend a second deciding on something to touch, and then you reach out and poke a finger into the seam. A part of you is pretty damn surprised to feel soft and yielding flesh- no, she isn't wearing a shirt under that thing- and that's when everything almost goes dreadfully wrong.

The world seems to go into slow motion: Ester chortles in her sleep and jerks forward, instinctively shying away from your finger, and THAT makes her bends forward, causing her armor plates to overlap like some sort of horrible finger-eating guillotine. You immediately pull your finger away- hell, you pull your entire body away, stumbling back two paces- and it's just in the nick of time to avoid having it caught in her armor. Her METAL armor; you can hear the plates grinding together with a dreadful sort of finality.

... a part of your brain that isn't gibbering in mild terror notes that Ester's chortling is the least girly thing you've ever heard, a sort of 'nrhrhrhu' noise that sounds like a dirty old man.

(Cont.)

>>35393188
It's enough to wake her up, and the first thing she sees is you standing there with your hands over your head. The chair clatters to the floor as Ester goes from half-awake to fully energized, shooting to her feet and bouncing on her heels.

"Urist! You're awake! How're you feeling? Does anything hurt? D'you need me to shoot another Legendary Fullheal at you??"

holy shit she's already charging up her magic

[ ] [SHARICITE] The goods, woman, where are they?
[ ] [ARMOR] What kind, merciful god would even allow that thing to exist?
[ ] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?
[ ] [STATUS] Okay, seriously, where are we right now, and how did we get here?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>35393206
>[ ] [ARMOR] What kind, merciful god would even allow that thing to exist?

>>35393206
>[ ] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?
Giver her one of ours to wear under-
>Dumbass McNoble had Banned the export of clothes
GODDAMMIT

>>35393206
[ ] [ARMOR] What kind, merciful god would even allow that thing to exist?

>>35393206
>[x] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?

>>35393206
>[ ] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?

>>35393206
[ ] [ARMOR] What kind, merciful god would even allow that thing to exist?
[ ] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?

twitter where

might as well do both armor and shirt.

>>35393385
http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

My bad! I'm in the habit of putting it at the end of the thread.

>>35393416
update when

>>35393206
[ ] [ARMOR] What kind, merciful god would even allow that thing to exist?
[ ] [SHIRT] Is... is she really wearing NOTHING under that damn armor?

>>35393206
>[X] [ARMOR] Seriously, it's times like these you really have to question Hyperdimension Neptunia's character designs.
>[X] [SHIRT] ... and/or the common sense underlying its setting and world view.

Brain-to-mouth filters. Who needs 'em? YOU certainly don't. You immediately rattle off the first thing that comes to mind, pointing out her lack of an undershirt and questioning her choice in armor; it's enough to cut off her spellcasting, the magic fizzling out on her fingertips.

Ester's eyes widen briefly, and then she chortles like- okay, so her sounding like a dirty old man isn't a one-off thing, that's good to know. She puts a gloved hand to her mouth as if scandalized, though it does nothing to hide her shit-eating grin. "Oh ho? So your eyes were roving over my defenseless body while I was sleeping, were they?"

... ghk.

"Just kidding, just kidding! Though I gotta say, that blush really suits you better than that scowl you've got all on all the time." Ester tries to pat your head, but you execute a flawless (if desperate) dodge away from that patronizing gesture.

No, that's not- can't she just answer the question!?

(Cont.)

>>35393857
"Well, if you really have to know..." Ester sobers up immediately, tapping her half-breastplate. "This? This is a legendary suit of armor that's been with me since the day I was born. It's tailored specifically to my specifications, and to my fighting style, and to every ability I can use. This armor's seen me through more dungeon runs than I can count, and it's become my trademark; everyone who sees me in this armor knows that I'm the Dragon Warrior, and all the history behind that title."

Something in Ester's stance changes. She doesn't stop smiling, and she doesn't make any threatening moves, but you feel a sudden, almost painful sense of foreboding. There's also that feeling you get every time you step into Lowee, of a long, long history weighing down on your shoulders. "So... even if it doesn't make a whole lotta sense, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't insult it or make light of it or anything. Okay?"

You find yourself nodding before you even know it. The pressure eases from your shoulders, but you can't really stop Ester from tousling your hair fondly. "Anyway, we should probably get going! I'll be waiting for you downstairs, 'kay?"

By the time you realize she hadn't actually answered your question about the undershirt, she's already skipped on out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your belongings.

... huh.

[ ] [CHANGE] Welp, time's a-wasting. Put on your clothes, take a soapy bath, and meet Ester downstairs.
[ ] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.
[ ] [MESSAGES] The perks of a fully-electronic world? Video phones. Go check your messages.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>35393895
[ ] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.

[ ] [CHANGE] Welp, time's a-wasting. Put on your clothes, take a soapy bath, and meet Ester downstairs.

>>35393895
[x] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.

>>35393895
>[ ] [CHANGE] Welp, time's a-wasting. Put on your clothes, take a soapy bath, and meet Ester downstairs.

>>35393895
[ ] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.

>>35393895

>[x] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.

then

>[x] [CHANGE] Welp, time's a-wasting. Put on your clothes, take a soapy bath, and meet Ester downstairs.

who knows what the hack may do first.

>>35393895
>[ ] [MESSAGES] The perks of a fully-electronic world? Video phones. Go check your messages.

>>35393206
>Write-in
i am fine, perfectly fine, no need for another full heal

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>>35393895
>[ ] [DFHACK] Ester can wait just a bit. Take a few minutes to tinker with that thing you found in the ruins.

We are the angriest of lolis.

>>35394183
slowdwarf.jpg

>>35393895
don't DFhack now, i want to wait until we are in front of ester to try to hack ourselves a beard and for the subsequent girly crying as it fails

>>35393895
>[X] [DFHACK]
>[X] [CHANGE]

You hop back onto the bed. Or try to, anyway. It's not a small bed, so it takes you a few tries before you're able to clamber on, cursing the world in general for not being dwarf-sized. Your feet don't even touch the ground when you're sitting on the edge of the bed, making you feel like a doofus, but you push that out of your mind to focus on that strange little toolkit (bookshelf? palm-sized electronic pad?) you picked up in the ruins.

A cursory examination pretty much confirms what you initially realized: it's pretty much empty, and it's up to you to fill it in. Problem is, since you lack any sort of utility that lets you specifically pinpoint bugs and issues that need fixing, you basically have to let DFHack run in the background and see what it manages to patch up on its own. That'll take a long while-

Oh. Oh, now /this/ is interesting: it seems that you have another choice: you can DIRECTLY tinker with this thing in the hopes that you unlock some sort of beneficial effect. Of course, you run an equally large risk of accidentally fucking something up, since you're not actually proficient at coding (if that's what it even is).

Hmm.

[ ] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.
[ ] [YUP] Well then! Who wants to live forever, right?

>>35394286
[ ] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.

>>35394286
>[ ] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.

>>35394286
> Feet don't even touch the ground when you're sitting on the edge of the bed.
Implying that isn't a dwarf-sized issue.

>[ ] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.

>>35394286
>[X] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.

We now know what to look to for. Of course we can now engage in purposely buggy behavior to see if we can fix it. Like any good tester

>>35394286
>nope

new objective - learn to code

>>35394286
>NOPE
we're not at that level of less incompetant.

>>35394286
>[ ] [NOPE] Wait 'til later. You probably shouldn't do this without the assistance of other utilities/treasures.

>>35394286
>[X] [NOPE]

Yeah, no. You didn't survive this long by putzing around with forces you don't understand, especially when those forces involve the fabric of your very being. And you rather like being alive, even if it's as a scrawny little girl with 1000% more hair on her head than on her chin.

You stow away DFHack and begin the long, laborious process of putting on your uniform. Wearing clothes takes about twice as long for you, since you have to waste time double- and triple-checking that you aren't leaving behind any articles of clothing or wearing things in the wrong order. You've lost entire mornings to that bullshit; if you put your shirt on over your armor or something like that, your brain locks up, like you're having trouble processing the mere CONCEPT of fixing your clothes.

... you've never admitted it to anyone- it's pretty damn embarrassing even thinking about it- and you're not going to start today, with Ester. Thankfully, you manage this everyday task without any problems, shoulder your backpack, and tromp down the stairs, your mismatched wool shoe-mail boot combo thumping every other step.

(Cont.)

>>35394633
The inn isn't particularly crowded, both due to the time of day and because it's literally out in the sticks. You spot the light blue of Ester's armor almost immediately, and make your way over to where she's leaning against the wall.

"Hey, Urist..." Ester raises her hand in greeting, and she's got her usual smile on her face, but some of the pep's been taken out of her. "Sorry if I got real intense up there. It's just that- I mean, I've got some pretty fond memories of this legendary armor, but even so, you saved me- us- from that ruins guardian, so-"

Waitasec, SHE was the one who healed your ass and carried you back here!

"That doesn't change anything! So, um..." She ducks her head in a half-bow. "Thanks. And sorry."

[ ] C'mon, forget about it. As far as you're concerned, it's water under the bridge.
[ ] ... welp, you'll forgive her as long as she owes you a favor to be determined at a later time.
[ ] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
[ ] That's not important. Where's the Sharicite?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

[ ] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
Yes! REVENGE

>>35394665
>[x] Pat her on the head.
>[x] That's not important. Where's the Sharicite?

>>35394665
>[] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
Come on, she's pracicaly presenting her head to us for pats.

>>35394665
>[ ] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
>[ ] That's not important. Where's the Sharicite?
Dont call the UBER rare item by name

>>35394665
>[x] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.

>>35394665
>[ ] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.

>>35394665
>[] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
>[] That's not important. Where's the Sharicite?

>>35394665
>Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
>BEER. drink some, or find out where some is

>>35394665
>[X] Say nothing. Pat her on the head.
>[X] That's not important. Where's the Sharicite?

Don't call it sharicite, call it something else.

>>35394665
[HEADPATS]
[BEER]
[GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER]

>>35394877
OH god, we haven't had any BEER since we got knocked out. Are we SOBER?

>>35394908
we are, it took me a minute to notice as well. Knowing Blorp, i cant tell if it's on purpose or he forgot/didnt think of it.

>>35394877
But does she have a Legendary Liver though?

>>35394945
Only one way to find out.

>>35394945
can probably cure poison, the real question is if it applies to liver poisoning.

>>35394665
[GET DRUNK]
[WHY DONT YOU HAVE AN UNDERSHIRT?]

>>35394665
>[X] REVENGE PATTING
>[X] oh and that sharicite too, sure

Your height difference is such that Ester's lowered head is basically right in front of your eyes, maybe a little lower. You can't help but stare at her unruly hair, including that one strand that keeps sticking up like an idiotic blade of wheat, and you find yourself wrestling with your self-control.

Ester somehow senses some of your inner turmoil- maybe you're giving off an aura, or it shows on your face, or something- and she tilts her head up to stare at you with those big green eyes of hers. "... Urist? You're kinda scaring me, here-"

You silently pat Ester on the head like she's the kid in this relationship, shutting her up instantaneously. Surprise shuts down any reaction she might have taken, and her reddened cheeks and reflexive fidgeting only makes you step it up to full-on hair-ruffling.

Soon enough, Ester's hands dart out in quick retaliation and musses up YOUR hair, but you're a DWARF, so you kick it up a notch and lay hands on her head like you're some sort of paladin of hair-smiting, ruffling her hair so much that it almost goes spiky, and then she's got you in a headlock and your braid's almost undone, but you put your size to your advantage by latching onto her and-

It was inevitable. From there, it's a full-on war of hair-ruffling, and you and Ester both ignore the amused stare of the innkeeper as you continue roughhousing around the common room. You're both laughing like big stupid idiots.

... on hindsight, you don't even remember the last time you laughed like this. It's like you're almost drunk on a lack of alcohol or something.

(Cont.)

>>35395165
It's a good fifteen minutes later, when you're both red-faced and winded and stuck with the worst cases of bedhead ever known to Gamindustri, that you finally remember that you've got bigger things to worry about. It also helps that, since you're somehow clinging onto Ester's side like a koala and she's grabbing one of your legs in a vice, you're both pretty much deadlocked.

But you bask in the knowledge that you won. Totally. Maybe.

... it's pretty warm, and your voice's muffled by her dumb frilly shoulderpad, but you manage to ask her about the you-know-what.

"Oh? The Shari-"

ARMOK NO, DON'T- you control your voice at the last moment, and tell her to call it ANYTHING but that. Ester's eyes widen, and she nods her assent.

"Well, the- you know, the THAT'S safe and sound in my bags." Ester winks at you. She's a terrible actress. "It's just a question of what we're gonna do with it, you know?"

... now that the fun's wearing off- fun that doesn't involve losing horribly- it's hard to concentrate. You're parched. Parched for alcohol. But you could make some suggestions, if you want.

[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
[ ] [ASK] ... or you could just ask Ester for her opinion right here. Beer can, c-come... later.......
[ ] [SPLIT] Split the Sharicite in half, each of you take your own share, and go your separate ways. Two smaller chunks might be safer than one huge chunk, and you've surely both got things that need doing.
[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.
[ ] [MEANDER] Eh, you wouldn't mind spending some more time with Ester, and no one knows you've got the Sharicite. Maybe take on some odd jobs?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.

>>35395184
[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.

>>35395184
>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
but seriously, flesh-colored undershirt

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
>[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.

Beer and gold. Dwarven concerns first.

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER]
>[ ] [LOWEE]

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
>[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.
ONE FOR THE ROAD

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER]
>[ ] [LOWEE]

>>35395184
>[X] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
>[X] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.

Ester's not too bad, other then being a bit hyper. She is atleast OLD enough and been wandering long enough that going with her will likely be safer and she may drive you crazy... if you are sober.

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER] Talk it out over a drink and ask Ester for her opinion. If Ester, the innkeeper, or this town doesn't have alcohol, you're going to cry. You're seriously going to cry.
>[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.
ONE FOR THE ROAD

>>35395184
>[ ] [ASK] ... or you could just ask Ester for her opinion right here. Beer can, c-come... later.......

>[ ] [LOWEE] Go together and take it straight to Lowee's Basilicom. The sooner you sell it, the safer you'll be.
I may have advocated BEER before, but we have fucking ADIMANTIUM-VALUE CRYSTAL to get rid of before anyone else finds out about it. We just have to dwarf up, Cacame style

>>35395315
Nah, let's engrave it into a hat or something.

>>35395184
>[ ] [BEER]
>[ ] [MEANDER]

>>35395184
>BEER
>LOWEE

What happens if we stick the Sharicite in the DFHack?

>>35395184
>[X] [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEER]
>[X] [oh and lowee too]

Alright. Time to be serious again.

You hop off of Ester, uncaring that both your heads look like fashion disaster sites, and turn to face her with your hands on your hips, blinking a little when you notice her still grinning. What? What's so funny?

Ester chortles that horribly dorky laugh again. "... you look absolutely adorable with your hair sticking up all over the place."

What? You do not!! In fact, you pitch your voice lower to underline the IMPORTANCE of what you're telling her, letting her know that the time for fun and games is over. Before you deal with the you-know-what, there's one, very important thing you have to do before you can leave this town, and that's to load up on as much alcohol as you can-

Ester interrupts you, her voice the very picture of innocence. "Oh, I asked the innkeeper. They don't have alcohol in this town."

No. It can't be. You're- you're already out of alcohol, you can't- you look at Ester again for confirmation. She solemnly shakes her head, confirming your worst fears.

... no.

The world drops out from underneath your feet, and you're sitting down on the floor without realizing it. You can hear the blood rushing up to your head, muffling all sound, all sensation, as your heart fills with despair, as all of reality ceases to have any meaning. Heedless of your own appearance, your eyes fill with big horrid tears that trail down your cheeks, and distantly, you hear your voice raised in the keening, wordless lament of a dwarf losing all hope and sanity, drowning out Ester's panicked shouts, and--

(Cont.)

>>35395575
Five minutes later, you're halfway through your fifth mug, and Ester hasn't stopped babbling her apologies. You continue ignoring her. In fact, you grab a straw and start blowing bubbles in your beer just so that you can puff out your cheeks in indignant rage while savoring the alcoholic fumes and the sense that the world is as it should be again.

"- really, I-I'm sorry, Urist! Legendarily sorry! I couldn't help myself! I was still caught up in teasing you, and I didn't know that you'd take it so hard, and, um, um-"

You cut her off, still a little peeved. So it's decided, right? You're going to make for Lowee's Basilicom as fast as possible, and pawn off the you-know-what to them?

Ester's almost nodding her head off at this point, continuing to voice apologies and agreement.

You sigh, suddenly a little tired, and wipe the tears from your eyes. Jeez. Something about this girl really pulls you into whatever pace she sets, doesn't it. You don't mind it- at least, you don't THINK so, since it's livelier than tromping around alone, but- still.

[ ] Forget it. It's water under the bridge. ... again.
[ ] Cut a deal: you won't question her choice of armor if she doesn't jerk your chain like that regarding alcohol ever again.
[ ] Demand piggyback rides all the way to the capital of Lowee.
[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.
[ ] Ignore her. Check your messages.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>35395595
[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.
Does she also lack other underthings?

>>35395595
[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.

>>35395595
>blowing bubbles in your beer just so that you can puff out your cheeks in indignant rage
hnnggggg MEDIC!

[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.
[ ] Forgive it. It's water under the bridge. ... again.

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>>35395595
> Nooo, we manly Dorf!
Hnnng!

>[ ] Demand piggyback rides all the way to the capital of Lowee.
YES!! Also
[ ] Check your messages.

>>35395595
>[ ] Cut a deal: you won't question her choice of armor if she doesn't jerk your chain like that regarding alcohol ever again.
Not demand, but bug her every idle chance we get about the undershirt. Isnt there chafing going on?

>>35395449
Something about Sharicite that's background knowledge to all the characters: as far as everyone knows, it doesn't do anything for anyone who isn't a CPU/goddess.

>>35395630
>Does she also lack other underthings?

Well, Urist DID note that she's got gym shorts under that skirt of hers.

>>35395595
>[ ] Forget it. It's water under the bridge. ... again.

>>35395595
>[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.
THEN it's water under the bridge

>>35395595
>[ ] Demand an answer about her lack of an undershirt.

Then water under the bridge

The glance at your messages.

>>35395701
Yeah but does she have anything under the gym shorts?

[ ] Cut a deal: you won't question her choice of armor if she doesn't jerk your chain like that regarding alcohol ever again.

>>35395917

Probably, she appears to be a lot more adjusted to this world then Urist.

Of course having gone through 9+ difference main game releases(and a lot of spin offs), some with skimpy female armor. I know DQ 3 had skimpy warrior armor for example. I don't think 1 and 2 had much that went skimpy before that however.

The games were relatively bug free, compared to Urist's history also.

>>35395595
>[X] Undershirt!
>[X] And then forget it!

You sniff, still not quite over your dwarven fit of pure despair, and wipe your eyes again. Ester wilts some more. "Sorry. I didn't think you'd cry like this-"

You weren't crying! Y-You've just got water coverings on your eyes, that's all!

"Still...!"

In a fit of petulance, you try to kick Ester's leg, but you're way too short to even reach her side of the table, so you hop off your chair and walk over to give her a good kicking. Except when you get over there, she's already looking like a kicked puppy, and you've lost your head of steam, so you just sort of hover awkwardly before cross your arms and grill her one more time. You'll forgive her if she answers your question.

... the question apparently takes Ester off-guard, enough so that she stops apologizing. "Huh? You're still curious about the shirt thing? Well..." She suddenly swells up with an absurd sort of pride, thumping a fist to that ridiculous half-breastplate of hers. "That's half of why it's legendary! I really don't need anything underneath this!"

(Cont.)

>>35396223
You squint at her. Really? So it's... it's magic anti-chafing, anti-pinching armor? And she's topless under that- that /thing/?

She nods, and- Armok help you, you're pretty sure she's being completely serious. Unless she's really good at lying and you don't know it, but honestly, given the amount of gravity-defying bodices and spandex you've seen around, you can see that anti-chafing armor being a thing.

... sometimes, you really, really hate this world for being so lackadaisical with its twisted sort of sense. Still, an answer is an answer. You let Ester off with a strict warning not to play with your heart like that ever again, and she shoots up to her feet, all peppiness restored.

"I won't! It's a legendary promise between the two of us, Urist!"

... jeez. Ester uses one and only one adjective, and she works the poor bastard to death.

Regardless, your business in this village is over! You're both pretty light packers- Ester's a lucky sunnovabitch, and her own inventory doesn't actually seem to be visible, while you've got everything crammed into your own backpack (including that double handful of dogoo jelly still in there), so it's no time at all before you're ready to leave.

Now, the only question is HOW you want to get to Lowee's Basilicom. In a world like Gamindustri, that's actually a pretty important question.

[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.
[ ] [FAST TRAVEL] Has the benefit of being almost instantaneous- except any random encounters will always be ambushes.
[ ] [ESTER] It seems she's got some sort of travel magic on hand. Instantaneous, but Ester warns you that Gamindustri plays havoc with some of her spells, and this one is no exception.

>>35396247
>[x] [ESTER] It seems she's got some sort of travel magic on hand. Instantaneous, but Ester warns you that Gamindustri plays havoc with some of her spells, and this one is no exception.

If Urist has to spend more time alone with Ester, there'll be a murder.

Also, what could possibly go wrong?

>>35396247
>[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.

>>35396247
>[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.

>>35396247
>JUST WALK
Not being ambushed is good. And there's no need to risk our precious organs with magic more than we need to. Plus, XP.

>>35396247
>[X] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.

Bad things will obviously happen with a huge chunk of loot.

Besides, it gives us a chance to read our messages.

>>35396247
[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.

Don't need to get torn apart by wolves this morning.

>>35396247
>[X] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.
Just caught up all the way. This quest is awesome.

>>35396247
>[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.
Every dwarven hardass walked. we are their personafication. time to repeatedly fall a tiny bit before catching ourselves with our other foot.

>>35396247
>[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.
>>35396483
>caught up
>this is the second thread
I'd hate to see you try something like MSQ.

>>35396622
What's MSQ?

>>35396247
>[ ] [JUST WALK] Slow but steady, and you can see most random encounters coming.

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>>35396247
>[X] [JUST WALK]

... well, you didn't get where you are today by taking the easy way out. When you bring up the subject of walking, surprisingly enough, Ester agrees almost instantaneously, her eyes shining happily as you sets out across the snowfields (HER eyes are shining, YOU'RE squinting because of the damn sunlight).

"Just like the legendarily good old days!" she chirrups, bouncing on her heels. You're starting to get the sense that it's less of a habit and more of a way for her to bleed off excess energy. "We didn't even /have/ fast travel back when I started out, you know, but everyone relies on it too much now!"

Really? You'd half thought that fast travel was a uniquely... you know. A uniquely /you/ thing.

"Mm... well, a lot of adventurers have something like it, but it was CPU Purple Heart who decided to hardwire a fast travel functionality into overworld traveling!"

Hm. Awfully nice of her to do so.

Ester's ever-present grin is a bit wry for some reason you can't comprehend. "You could say that!"

You both lapse into a comfortable silence as you march along through the snowfields of Lowee, making pretty good time even with your mismatched shoes. You're lost in thought for a while, although a few things DO occur to you.

... like the fact that you can still feel Ester's breath on the top of your head as she marches perfectly in time with you, keeping a constant one-foot-distance behind you.

[ ] [ASK] Ask Ester what the usual routine is for trading stuff into a Basilicom, the seat of a CPU's power.
[ ] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?
[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.
[ ] [SILENCE] The less you jabber, the sooner you'll arrive.
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Any other questions for Ester?

>>35396682
>[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

>>35396682
>[x] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

I wonder if there's cheap Canadian prescription meds in the Matrix?

>>35396682
>[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

>>35396682
>[ ] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?

>>35396682
>[ ] [ASK] Ask Ester what the usual routine is for trading stuff into a Basilicom, the seat of a CPU's power.
>[ ] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?

>>35396647
A glorious adventure of fudge and tea lasers.
Mahou Shounen Quest, not to be confused with the new Mahou Shonen Quest over on /d/, which is actually quite good so far.
>>35396682
[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.
Who?

[ ] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?
[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.
It's probably one of our old mods. Kobolds maybe.

>>35396682
>[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

>>35396682
>[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.
>How long have you been adventuring?

>>35396682
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Any other questions for Ester?
When do we get to meet Markovich, Hopper and the Bathhouse Owner?

>>35396682
>[X] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?
>[X] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

>>35396682
>[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.
Time to post our engraving on Not-Twitter.

>>35396725
adding to this, i actually like her sticking close, just in case a random were-carp or something attacks.

>>35396739
Tadakuni pls

>>35396682
>[x] [PERSONAL SPACE] ... so, why DOES Ester stick so damn close, anyway?
>[x] [MESSAGES] Check your messages, although you think you know who, if anyone, would send you something.

>>35396739
Whenever Urist stops taking damage from improperly equipping her crossbow

Okay, seems pretty unanimous between Personal Space and Message-Checking, so writing!

>>35396682
>PERSONAL SPACE
I don't know if monsters get AoE attacks, but best not to risk it.
>MESSAGES
Maybe we could... send messages?

>>35396682
>[X] [PERSONAL SPACE]
>[X] [MESSAGES]

You flip open your... well, there's no getting around it. Your phone.

Gamindustri is a strange, strange place, filled with a ludicrously bizarre mix of technologies, especially across nations. Hell, you've even seen fantasy monsters drop computer parts and chips and laserdiscs and cellular phones and all sorts of strange, newfangled technologies. That's really no surprise, given that one way CPUs gain belief- "shares"- is by keeping the masses entertained, and gaming is a really big part of that.

... personally, though, you'll never get used to it. You start flipping through your messages a bit clumsily, frowning in concentration, and you almost forget about Ester until she suddenly pipes up and nearly gives you a heart attack.

"You haven't gotten used to these things too, huh? I mean, they keep changing them up every year!"

(Cont.)

>>35397267
You shield your phone's screen with a hand, glaring back over your shoulder (it has no effect on Ester!), and give voice to a question that's been bugging you for a while- why DOES she stick so close, anyway?

Ester ruffles your hair again, which you ignore because it's not like you ever put your hair back to rights after that little tussle. "Because you're adorable!"

No, seriously, why? You'd like to read your "messages" (even now, the phrase is kind of weird on your tongue) in peace. Also, you refused to be called cute.

"But you totally are! Legendarily cute!" Ester's grin fades a little as she zeroes back in on your question. "Sorry, sorry. I won't look, I promise. But parties always have to walk like this. It's an ironclad rule, you know. And it's always the way I've done it!"

You flip open your phone, and she stays true to her word. Still... that's pretty old-fashioned, isn't it?

Ester's silent for a little while. It's almost a surprise when she speaks up again, her voice smaller than you ever remember hearing. "If I don't keep up these traditions, then who will?"

You don't have a good answer to that, so you nod your agreement and focus in on your messages. As expected, it's from... well. There's no way around it. It's from Mojang. You can't help but grimace slightly as you scroll through her message, past the way she always greets you as "Bay-chan" and pastes enough emotes and stars and hearts to make you dizzy. She's adapted to this world far better than you ever could. Maybe a little too well.

... your eyes widen a little at the little bombshell at the end of her message. She's... she's going exclusive with Leanbox? Really?

/Really/?

[ ] [CALL] Give Mojang a call. You're really morbidly curious.
[ ] [IGNORE] ... well, it's her business. It can wait until later
[ ] [ESTER] Ask Ester what she knows about adventurers entering into exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms.
[ ] [PONDER] Think back on your 'friendship' with Mojang.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>35397292
>[ ] [ESTER] Ask Ester what she knows about adventurers entering into exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms.

>>35397292
[ ] [ESTER] Ask Ester what she knows about adventurers entering into exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms.
[ ] [CALL] Give Mojang a call. You're really morbidly curious.

>>35397292
>[ ] [PONDER] Think back on your 'friendship' with Mojang.
how much shit is this bitch gonna drag us through if we do more than the absolute minimum to keep her from dragging us into her shit because we didnt talk to her?

>>35397292
>[ ] [ESTER] Ask Ester what she knows about adventurers entering into exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms.

>>35397292
>[ ] [ESTER] Ask Ester what she knows about adventurers entering into exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms.

She might know more, she appears to have been around the block.

then

[ ] [CALL] Give Mojang a call. You're really morbidly curious.

Why not?

>>35397292
Leanbox is full of prying eyes that track your every movement.

>[ESTER]

>>35397292
>[ ] [IGNORE] ... well, it's her business. It can wait until later
WELL THANKS FOR THAT REMINDER, BLORP.
WHAT'S NEXT, SQUAD? KEEN?
MY DREAMS ARE ALREADY BROKEN, LYING IN PIECES ON THE GROUND. MUST YOU REALLY DANCE UPON THEIR CORPSES?

>>35397292
>[X] [IGNORE] ... well, it's her business. It can wait until later

>>35397292
>Ponder
>Call

>>35397292
>Ask Ester!

You've got your (refilled!) flask in your free hand before you even realize it, and you gulp down a generous amount of alcohol to clear your mind. Or maybe just to have some more alcohol in you, but either way.

You've always been a pretty extreme freelancer, going into whatever dungeons you please, unaffiliated with any one of the four Basilicoms and ignoring any and all quests from the International Guild. You're still passingly familiar with how the adventuring world works: CPUs acquire shares by doing the heavy lifting- dealing with army-scale monster infestations, developing new hardware, governing their nations. However, it's the legions and legions of adventurers who end up liaising between the Basilicoms and civilians, who take on nation-affiliated quests in the name of their patron CPUs and increase their shares that way.

Powerful hardware is well and good, but it's the software that really moves markets.

Your thumb hovers over the 'call' button of your +cellular phone+, as you debate whether you even want to bother calling. Flicking one braid back over your shoulder, you glance back and ask Ester something really quickly.

"Exclusivity agreements with Basilicoms??" Ester grabs you by the shoulders, forgetting your little agreement, and starts bouncing up and down with glee. "Omigosh! You got an offer, Urist!?"

You try to shake her off, but it's a lost cause. You bear the brunt of her excitement as best you can, even as you start sinking deeper into the snow. No, you didn't. An... an acquaintance of yours did.

"Aww." Ester stops bouncing, but she rests her chin on your head. "Well, I'm rooting for you. Definitely!"

... ghk. You don't really think your chances are high that anyone would WANT you, so you just ask her for the basic rundown. Please.

(Cont.)

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>>35397772
"It's pretty simple! An adventurer can sign on with a CPU's Basilicom to only take their quests, and kind of becomes a dedicated rep for her nation." Ester doesn't take her chin off your head. You kind of wish she would, but you're loath to interrupt her. "The benefits are pretty good for both sides: an exclusive adventurer gets compensated better, and her patron CPU gets more shares."

... so there's really no downside, then?

"I dunno. It's not ALWAYS a good thing. Guess it depends on how much you trust the nation, right? Like..." Ester speaks with the confidence stemming from long experience, massaging your shoulders thoughtfully. "If you've got a real good relationship with how Leanbox or Lastation's doing, then it's probably worth it. But a lot of adventurers prefer the flexibility of being freelancers, since they can take on a bigger load of quests. It also depends on how stable a nation is at any given time."

You grimace and take another swig, although the motion of your head doesn't manage to dislodge Ester. You're really going to have to think this through, and what you want to tell Mojang. If you even want to tell her anything, that is.

"Oh ho? So who's this friend of- waitasec."

You're saved from thinking up a reply (other than "it's complicated") as Ester's head snaps up, and you glance up at whatever's distracted her.


>Urist Twelfthbay senses danger(?)!
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>35397804

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>35397804

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>35397804
Encounter!

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>35397804

>>35397824
>>35397831
>>35397833
huh 15?

>>35397804
>Drinks beer first.

>>35397804
I see you have discovered a way to protect your sanity by lowering the die size.

Well played.

>>35397888
I eagerly await the first d1000s.

>>35397888
There probably isn't much left to protect at this point honestly.

>>35397911
Holy shit there's something period?

Saw this in the archive, glad I caught it.
>Drink more

>>35397993
>Disregard danger
>Acquire booze
Truly the dwarven way.

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>>35397804
>15
Encounter that could go either way, leaning toward positive!

Your head snaps up just in time to see the shadow pass by overhead. You catch a glimpse of a large reptilian body with snow-white scales and impossibly orange tusks careening overhead. You backpedal immediately, but Ester doesn't budge an inch, looking at a point behind the monster, her eyes narrowed.

"... that's not the one we have to worry about."

You take another glance. She's right- the dragon's flapping with the desperate air of one being hunted. Another moment passes, and a high-pitched yell echoes across the snowy plains- a smaller shape hurtles through the air. There's a bone-shattering CRACK, and the dragon plummets toward the ground in silence, down and out for the count.

Quietly, you make to unsling the crossbow from your back, but find that there's a flask in your hand. You pour its contents down your throat, and THEN bring the crossbow out. Ester's doing much the same- that ridiculous Dogoo-patterned shield is up, and she's loosened her scabbard to allow a quicker draw of her sword, if needed.

Ester's right. With the Sharicite in your bags, it really isn't the monster you're worried about: it's the adventurer.

(Cont.)

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>>35398195
A lithe figure, one who's barely taller than you (and dressed in considerably less clothing, especially for this weather), bounds on top of the downed monster and retrieves her thrown weapon- a ridiculously-sized hammer, from the looks of it- before glancing over to the two of you, her breath steaming in the cold air. Her pointed ears twitch on the top of her head, and

oh goddammit they're cat ears

why in the name of the goddamn circus and its legions of clowns did it have to be a catgirl? she's a cat, and yet she's a human, but the leatherworker in you SCREAMS to skin her and make her into biscuits and replace your leather gloves, but- no, you can't do that, she's technically a person, argh why does life have to be so tough

As you stand paralyzed, Ester waves, trying to act cool, but the catgirl is having none of that. Without so much as a greeting, she raises her head and sniffs the air, her eyes narrowing.

"... that smell... you two're hiding something, aren't you?"


[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD!]

>>35398218
... goddammit, leaving us there. Now I know how it feels.

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Alright, that's as good a place as any to call it a wrap, 'specially since it's a weeknight! Apologies to those who're just coming in (and also for cliffhangering again, goddamn). In any case, thanks for participating, and I hope you guys enjoyed the thread!

The next thread will be this coming Friday, 10/10, at 7 pm EST; any changes/updates will be posted to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

Thanks again, and if you've got any questions/thoughts/etc, please don't hesitate to leave 'em here!

>>35398218

Meh, monster hunter.

Kinda want us to be saved by another classic CRPG that does not fit on consoles, but has some console versions. Be even better if they have completely off base setting and humor.

>>35398218
>>35398286
>Another cliffhanger
I feel broken and abused. At least you aren't waiting a week between threads.
Next time then blorp.

>>35398298
>saved
We'll see about that!

Also, CRPGs are a pretty rare breed in Gamindustri (due to the setting itself focusing exclusively on console games), and the few that I have in mind are being saved up for later. Especially since I really have to flesh some of them out further before I can introduce them. A lot of console game-based Gamindustri characters also already exist in the Neptunia setting itself, so more of them will end up cropping up first.

>>35398306
Sorry! The cliffhanger endings aren't really intentional, I try to pin down a certain time by which to end a thread, and since I feel like I'd lose steam whenever we start up again, I usually end up ending right before or after a battle/event as opposed to midway through one.

>>35398557
Can we get our Ace Combat waifu?

>>35398687
... jesus, I hadn't even considered that.

THE MUSIC, THOUGH, THE GODDAMN MUSIC

>>35398557

You have to go to NES and Genesis games to find the old CRGP's and other games.

MM2 was on Genesis, MM3 was on snes, Wizardy's were on NES and later. Bards tale was on NES. Ultima on NES and SNES.

Silent service on nes, pirates(original) on nes. X-com on ps1. warcraft 2 on ps1. civilization on playsation.

Can we get X-com-tan then?

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Just waiting for Souls-kun. Praise the sun!

>>35398764
She better have Chryssalid-induced PTSD.

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>>35398802

>>35398802

Fear of Chyssalid and fucking etherals, and a strong tendancy to blow up large chunks of dungeons in the name of clearing fields of fire.

Every soldier carries 1-2 HE to clear out areas of tree's and town where the enemies might hide.

a lot of these computer ports would tend to be buggy also.