>>35246465
Hold her hand

hedpats

>>35246465
>>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

Time to suck it up. We'll do something suitably manly later on to make up for it.

>>35246465
>>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?
>Fight the Italian Lunatic

>>35246465
Holy shit holy shit holy shit. I am excited now.
>sing the la la la song

>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

>>35246465
>drop her and tell her she's a failure.

>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

Wow maybe you're actually back.

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>>35246523
>Mozarella
>rella
>rella
>rella
>rella
>rella

>Gorgonzola
>zola
>zola
>zola
>zola
>zola

And that's how it goes

File: 1411473538637.jpg (7 KB, 142x200)

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BEFORE I FORGET, IF YOU READ SWQ CLICK THIS FOR ME PLEASE

http://strawpoll.me/2688405

I'm interested in counting how many people (roughly) read this BS

>>35246569
GET ON IRC YOU COWARD

FACE THE BLINKING RED HORDES LIKE A MAN

>>35246465
>>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

>>35246569
>dose choices

oh planefag, you so modest

I'll release one sentence for every update, fap angel. You ready.

>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song
>Try to get Sanya's attention and calm her down enough to walk

FUCK YOU PLANEFAG, I WWAS GONNA SLEEP, AND NOW I'M WIDE AWAKE !
>other
Time for some though love. Get on your best drill instructor impression, and make her spew whatever's going on in her little cossack head

>>35246600
this

>>35246651
Don't do that, you attention whore. Just put it in a pastebin.

>>35246465
>Try to get Sanya's attention and calm her down enough to walk
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?
>while carrying Sanya, swing around wildly in search of eyetie snoipah

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>>35246596

File: How a pilot should be reg(...).png (10 KB, 600x762)

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>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all

Also, we REALLY need to fuck with our crew's heads. Pic related

>>35246651
And then you would be annoying faggot.

>>35246695
Come on, you know you want to be spammed with Mio pics from like 10 different people throughout the thread. You know you like it.

>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

Hurray planefag is here!

File: 1411092382880.gif (93 KB, 865x340)

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here we go

>>35246722
>>35246671
It's only half done and I want advice. Also, it motivates the planefag.

>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?
>other
Head pats if need be!

>>35246799
Better to finish it than release half-finished, fellow writefaggot.

Also, even better to wait for the end of a thread, it's less disruptive that way, IMO.

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>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

Sing! SING!

>>35246799
Posting during the thread just distracts people. Don't do it.

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>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?
IT'S HAPPENING.

>>35246465
>>Other
Bite the bullet and hold her - carefully.

>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

>>35246799
I bet planefag would be motivated if we gave him some aspirin. He likely has muscle aches from moving all those hay bales today.

>>35246826
Fair enough. Don't really have time though, IB diploma is a fucking pain (fuck TOK).

>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UNKhjhyBJU

>>35246465
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all

>>35246465

LICK HER

>>35246465
>>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
Changing vote to this

>>35246465
>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

It'd almost be worse if we were caught singing by the press

>>35246465
OP IS A FAG

>>35247038
Yeah... it's right in his name.

>>35247038
OP IS A FAP

>>35246465
[x] Get Eila over and knock them both up

>>35246465
>>Try to find someplace private; she's a little big to be satisfied with a paper bag, after all
>>Try singing that goddamn la la la song?

File: 09a87da42320bfba8fb9d26c7(...).png (391 KB, 557x903)

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After a few seconds of staring blankly at the overcast English sky, you remember how this entire mad adventure on Witch Island began – that night you heard Sanya's delicate, melancholy song echoing lonely through the dark night, and decided to reach out to her by falling upon her like a thundering black lightning bolt of death and terror.

… okay, so maybe Zuuchini's got a little justification, but you're still going to skin her for a rug. Anyways, you spent enough nights listening to that la la la that you've got the rough edges of the original tune down – and you ARE a decent singer. So you start rocking Sanya gently (that's how you do it, right?) and clear your throat to begin the melody.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMGPam4RCc4

>>35247080
SHE IS LITERALLY CUTER THAN YOU

File: tiny sanya is tiny.jpg (93 KB, 1080x800)

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>>35247080


“Doooo,” you start. “Do rae – uh, do RE rae so la? Do re do – FUCK it,” you snarl. If the daughter of a famous composer can't be arsed to do it properly, why should you? You continue stumbling through the melody.

“La laaaa, luuugh fuck how'd that- right, LAAAAA la laaaa this is a decrescendo I think there's one theeeeere or maybeyoujustalwaysranoutofbreathatthatpointhowdoyoubitchesbreatheinathreehundredMPHslipstreamanyways la laaa, la la la la~”

You look down to check your progress to find Sanya's clear green eyes staring at you in utter bewilderment.

You stare right back at her, rather miffed. Here you are trying to cheer her up, going LA LA LA like a goddamned knuckle-dragging moron where all of sodding, sodden, blown-to-flinders England can hear you carrying on like a twit, and she's giving you judgmental looks?

“Well lets see you do better!” you huff.

“OI!” a new voice interrupts. You look up, a LA LA GO FUCK YOURSELF LADDIE already on the tip of your tongue, and then you see it.

The one thing you really, really didn't freaking need right now.

A whole goddamn pack of them, even.

>HOUNDS!
>CHIBITANKS!
>OTHER?

>>35246651
Fapfic of what now?

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103
>HOUNDS!

>>35247103
>Put them to work. Make them aquire ice cream.

Its for a noble cause.

>>35247103
>>HOUNDS!

>>35247103
>HOUNDS

If HOUNDS, only proper solution is to ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103
>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103
>THE PRESS
SHITSHITSHITSHIT

>>35247103
>>OTHER?
Martian Deathcows

>>35247132
I like this

>find me ice cream you twits!

>>35247103
>>OTHER?
>MARTIANS!

>>35247103
>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103
>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247108
I believe it is the Frank and Ghostdiva.

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247103

>OTHER?
MARTIAN COWS INFILTRATORS

File: 1383426754252.jpg (208 KB, 800x800)

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>>35247103
>CHIBITANKS!

File: wow.jpg (67 KB, 1017x579)

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wow

File: chibiheiditank.png (169 KB, 1000x1000)

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Did someone say chibitanks?

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247080
That link! My heart can't much more of this cuteness!

>>35247103
Sean and hellcow!

>>35247103
>>OTHER?
Hellcows

>>35247103
>MARTIANS

>>35247103
>Chibitanks

>>35247210
Poor Georgette, getting smothered like that. That's more Cupcake's deal.

>>35247103
>OTHER?

REPORTERS ! REPORTERS EVERYWHERE !

>>35247160
>>35247310
These.

>>35247310
FUCK REPORTERS!

>>35247103
>>CHIBITANKS!
oh god I'd forgotten about those

>>35247103
>CHIBITANKS!

>>35247213
>that fucking picture

LOOKS LIKE DECU THROWS THE KNOCKOUT PITCH ONCE MORE

Calling it overwhelmingly for chibitanks. HO!

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The itty bitty tracked terrors; the miniscule mechanized, the armor for ants.

The chibitanks.

You stare at them as they come clanking around the corner of the nearest Quonset hut en-masse, every one of them freezing as soon as they spot you, pivoting to point right at you, looking for all the world like bird-dogs pointing.

And then, from around that same corner, comes a fine English thoroughbred, its black goat gleaming glossy, the polished leather saddle creaking slightly as the red-bedecked rider follows his hounds. You follow the long tailed coat up, past the gloved hands gripping well-oiled reins, and find Paddy Mayne staring you in the eye with the wildest, craziest fucking grin you've ever seen outside of a mirror. Someone with long white hair, pale skin and a face that's glowing red-hot is clinging tightly to his back, arms wrapped around his middle, legs gripping the horse for dear life.

“WHAT, HOOOOO!” Paddy cries, thrusting his finger at you. “THERE'S THE FOX! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA, AFTER 'IM, ME BOYS!” With a wild injun-whoop, Paddy kicks the sides of his steed and barrels down upon you, the chibitanks clanking and clacking ahead as they move in to cut you off.

>LOSE HIM IN THE NARROWS?
>TAKE THE HIGH GROUND?
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
>LOSE HIM IN THE NARROWS?
Dammit Paddy!

File: of course I didn't fudge (...).gif (2.89 MB, 435x245)

2.89 MB GIF

>>35247414
>>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

What the hell is even going on anymore.

>>35247414
>>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER
Do you have to ask?

>Also grab/save Sanya

>>35247414
>LOSE HIM IN THE NARROWS?

>>35247456
This

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
>>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER


Yell "Goddamnit Paddy I'm trying to deal with SOMEONE ELSES PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS."

>>35247414
>>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

I wonder what's having this happen.

>>35247414
>>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247414
What we can do: Run right over the chibitanks.
Why we shouldn't: They're actually self-propelled landmines.

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER
But save the Sanyan

>>35247414
>Added: Have Sanya use her witchy powers to take over a few tanks. ONWARD TO ICE CREAM!!!

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

File: 1410936144275.jpg (177 KB, 1280x720)

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GRAND THEFT AUTO WINS BY A LANDSLIDE

by GRAND THEFT AUTO i assume you mean GRAND THEFT CHIBITANK CHARIOT via GNOME?

>>35247628
And witchy powers, via Sanya

>>35247628
Are we tank-surfing now?

>>35247103
CHIBITANKS!

>>35247414
>GRAND THEFT AUTO MOTHERFUCKER

>>35247622
Unrelated to this moment, but do Aliums fly like this? Or have the same flight capabilities? http://youtu.be/7nz7zBls2Ps

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MviUoCEbuO4 Thread theme music

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With a great, gibbering scream of absolute bafflement, you bolt for the stack of crates where you found Sanya, leaping up their haphazardly-stacked sides adroitly. Sanya gives you no trouble; she can hardly weight eighty pounds soaking wet, and Luke never let you skip PT (when he could find you, that is.) This gives the chibitanks pause, but you soon hear them circling around to cut you off and “tree the fox.”

Faced by the clanking legions of automated doom, you fall back on your ironclad Army Air Corps training, which informs you that no retreat is worth a damn unless its rated in MPH. You need wheels. From your new vantage point you scan and espy a courier making his way down the hard-packed taxiway in a motorcycle and sidecar. Summoning all your strength, you leap from the top of the supply crates and land atop the nearest Quonset hut, sprinting down its length for all you're worth, the clinkity-clack of the chibitanks not far behind. You espy a few jeeps parked near the end of the hut, but write them off; Jeeps are popular enough that drivers have taken to bringing the distributor cap with them (and would-be thieves carry spare distributor caps,) but you're fresh out. Instead, you leap from the roof to the hood of an unfortunate Jeep, then leap off to land right next to the courier's sidecar as he comes to a halt before the door.

File: 1367633039755.png (1.39 MB, 2560x1600)

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>>35248073

His head jerks up as Sanya's slight weight is dropped unceremoniously into the sidecar, and for one brief, amazing moment you stare into the eyes of true and complete astonishment; the reaction of an innocent airman to the Yank From Nowhere. Before he can recover enough to defend himself, you employ your most devastating martial technique; one you won't find anywhere in that clever little “Get Tough” pamphlet they hand out.

“HARHBLARHALERHALEHRALHAELRAFLFAHFARAHARHARHAARRRGHF!” you scream incoherently, flailing and beating your arms on and about the poor bastard driving the Indian until your flurry of blows simply batters him off the seat, as much from surprise as impact. You sling yourself into the seat, twist the throttle and GUN that sonofabitch just as the chibitanks round the corner. The Indian's little engine screams with a high-pitched BREEEEENG-A-DING-DING-DI-DING-UUUH as it tears away from the hut with a stunned-looking Sanya sprawled in the sidecar, her legs hanging out the front and her tiny rear lost somewhere inside.

>TAKE HIM THROUGH THE SALOM
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY
>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

>>35248126
>TAKE HIM THROUGH THE SLALOM

>>35248126
>>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND
WE NEED ALTITUDE TO BOUNCE

>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

I'd suggest finding Minna and hoping for help, but otherwise...

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>>35248073
>>35248126
pic related. Also
>TAKE HIM THROUGH THE SLALOM

>>35248126
>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

>>35248126
>>TAKE HIM THROUGH THE SLAMOM

File: heidiminitanks.jpg (60 KB, 650x482)

60 KB JPG

>>35248126
>>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY
WE HAVE THE ACCELERATION

>>35248126
>>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY
Gotta go fast

>>35248126
>>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

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>>35248126
>Indian

Mah nigga

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Slight victory for STRAIGHTAWAY

DRAG RACE: HABBENING

>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

>>35248126
>>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY
EXTEND AND EVADE!

>>35248126

>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

File: 1326353486629.jpg (90 KB, 678x510)

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PLANEFAG! YOU'RE BACK!

Thanks for getting me interested in WWII history, shits awesome.

>>35247414
>>TAKE THE HIGH GROUND?
CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB HIT YOUR BURNERS PILOT

>>35248073
>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

Oh god my sides ow ow ow

>>35248126
>WE CAN BEAT HIM ON THE STRAIGHTAWAY

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The Indian whips around the corner, Sanya yelping as her sidecar lifts off the earth, its weight keeping your bike from laying down into a skid as the rear wheel tears up the turf. You look back in time to see the goddamned chibitanks taking the curve without a problem, their rubber-coated tracks sliding on the wet grass as they drift around the turn. You're not going to be jumping any obstacles with a side-car and the damned horse is probably trained for that church-vault-whateverthefuck thing fox-ponies do, but the taxiway is still firm enough for aircraft, and you've got mechanization on your side.

You feel the need... for speed. You gain the taxiway, aim the Indian towards the opposite end of the airstrip, and gun that SOB.

BREEEEEEEEEEENG-ADINGAhDINGAHDINGAH! your tiny engine screams as you floor it. Behind you the chibitanks are -

- you look over your shoulder to verify that the little bastards have those funny horns they used to stick on Stukas, howling for all the world like goddamned foxhounds on a scent.

>>35248126
>>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND
CLIMB

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>>35248631

“BREEEEEPPPPPFFRRRBLLLL,” comes the sound of a hunting bugle from behind you. You've no idea why the constipated English Lords blew on the damn things, and you don't think Paddy does, either – he's just blowing for the hell of it. You lean down, squinting through the tears as your speed picks up. To your right you hear a deeper, bassier thunder, and glance aside to find a goggled man in an open cockpit staring at you as his I-16 picks up speed down the airstrip. For a few long, awkward seconds, you stare at each other, his head swiveling slowly as his plane slowly overtakes your speed. Suddenly, he notices Sanya, and waves enthusiastically, adding a salacious wink to the end before his fighter finally autorotates and lifts off, the wing cutting his face off from view.

You glance over your shoulder to find the chibitanks falling behind, and throw your head back in laughter. They thought they could catch YOU? Young, the Ghostrider, the Bounce Lord? NEVER!

And just then, over the horns and the bugle, a third note is added to the cacophany – the long, loud wail of an air raid siren.

>BOMBS INCOMING WAT DO?

>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO
>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING
>OTHER!?

>Addendum: Sanya is still wearing her bathing suit

>>35248631
>you look over your shoulder to verify that the little bastards have those funny horns they used to stick on Stukas, howling for all the world like goddamned foxhounds on a scent.

My sides are gone planefag! What have you done with my sides!

>>35248688
>>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING
>> THROW OUR JACKET OVER SANYA DAMN SHE'S GOTTA BE COLD OR SOMETHING NEVERMIND THAT SHE'S FROM FROZENTITSLAND

>>35248688
>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

>>35248688
>>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

>>35248688
>>OTHER!?
I have a terrible idea: TO OUR HANGAR AND ACQUIRE PLANE AND CREW!

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

we could drive into that ditch! save the cycle as well.

>>35248688
>>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING

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>>35248688

>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING
WE WILL PROTECT SANYA WITH OUR BODY.

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>>35248688
>>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO


AIIIIIIIR RAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIID

GET INTO COVER YOU MORON

>>35248735
They're on Barin anon, we're not.

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO
Wouldn't the reventment be a more likely target?

>>35248760
Whoops, I forgot.
Into the trenches then?

>>35248765
this

>>35248631
>have those funny horns they used to stick on Stukas
you just divebombed my sides

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

>>35248688
>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO

Also, give cossack the jacket.

>>35248688
>>TRENCHES AT THE END OF THE RUNWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO
>GIVE SANYA UR JACKET

>>35248875
This

>>35248126
>HEAD FOR HIGHER GROUND

>>35248688
add to my vote here
>give cossack our jacket
>>35248816

>>35248688
>CRAZY. FUCKING. IVAN.

>>35249012
Against a TANK?

>>35248688
>>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING

>>35249050
Hide under Sanya, she can be on top

>>CRAZY. FUCKING. IVAN.

How can I not? Also, I'm late to this.

Watch out for planefag!
/qtg/ public enemy number one!
He is the main one responsible for...

[X] SWQ
[X] SuWQ
[X] SW89
[X] TW89
[X] PJW89
[X] ALL THOSE OTHER NEVER ENDING FUCKING SPINOFFS
[X] Inserting a male PC into my pure lesbian waifu setting
[X] Killing questing in 2004,2011,2012,2013,2014
[X] Hostile take over of /qtg/
[X] Popularizing questing on /tg/, choaking the board with shitty quests
[X] Having "fun"
[X] Anonkun's white color scheme
[X] Encouraging GermanSchteel to write his shittier "fixed" SWQ:Galia
[X] Numerous false-flagging operations
[X] /qtg/ trolling
[X] Trolling Taleanon
[X] Removing Crusty Jones's internet connection
[X] Bullying EGO
[X] Bullying AzureNyan
[X] Bullying planefag
[X] Migration of FUCK QUEST to /tg/
[X] Gyoji imoutospamming
[X] Fluff
[X] Skub
[X] NTR in Psion quest
[X] Hexer's slow pace
[X] Making Merlin lewd
[X] Never delivering Keine lewds
[X] Deculture's delays
[X] Successful assassination of TalesAnon
[X] Successful assassination of Kota
[X] Attempted assassination of deculture by flooding the Philippines
[X] Making Rena suffer
[X] Causing Doc's injuries
[X] Starving the world's supply of bad dragon's with bulk purchases
[X] Diaz
[X] Introducing the .H264 10-bit profile in questing
[X] Zoe Quinn and Five Guys
[X] Pushing to ban lolis in Japan
[X] DDOS'ing nyaa.se
[X] Was responsible for Theros being the worst block ever
[X] Created Kamigawa
[X] Banned Golgari Grave Troll and Dread Return from Modern
[X] Taking over and directing Star of David Games
[X] Fetches in Modern
[X] Leads the IRC Cabal
[X] Vote spammed with the Cabal to make sure your waifu didn't win in that quest
[X] Purgin exhentai of all wani content (never forget)
[X] Made the Hugbox
[X] Killing SWQ
[X] Not Killing SWQ
[X] Never writing AWiY, ever
[X] Anti-skubbers
“[X] That”

His ultimate goal is to kill questing and /tg/!
However, you can stop him. Spread this list!

>>35248688
TO THE READY AIRCRAFT

A PILOT THAT HASN'T SCRAMBLED DURING AN AIR RAID IS A DEAD PILOT

>>35249042
Always crazy Ivan, against everything.

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For a brief, fleeting second you're tempted to stand on the brakes and whip left into an aircraft revetment, and take cover under the wide aluminum hide of a parked aircraft – maybe your own Widow, who's nose you see a few stalls up. But you remember that the revetments are priority targets for any bombers, (assuming its not Washing Machine Charlie and his usual horseshit come to Barin) and hiding under a big aluminum fuel tank isn't very fucking smart, even for a pilot. Bowing to the inevitable, you keep the throttle floored and thunder down the length of the grass airstrip till the faint humps of dirt at the runway's edge can be seen – the covers over the trenches that provide people a place to duck when air attack catches them away from their gun pits or the larger, more spacious shelters.

“NO NO NO NO NO NO-” Sanya's screaming.

“AAAAHAHAHA TRUST ME YUH BOSHLEVISK BINT!” you scream, judging the spatial relationships in an eyeblink and deciding to gun the engine one more time as you go for it. The bike fits inside the trench perfectly, with barely an inch to spare – and none for your fucking LEG OH FUCK-

>>35249101
>and none for your fucking LEG OH FUCK-
oh dear.

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>>35249101

-you swing your left leg off the bike and plant that knee on the seat, crouching over the handlebars as you kill the engine, the bike sliding down the steep ramp and into the trench with naught an inch to spare. Quite suddenly, the only sound is the muted wail of the air raid siren and your own heavy breathing.

You slump back and reach over to ruffle Sanya's wild, wind-tossed white hair. “See? Now we've got this nice hidey-hole all to ourselves.”

“GAAAANGWAAAAAY!” you hear Paddy scream, and quite suddenly the chibitanks are literally piling in behind you, some of them taking the ramp so fast they catch air and land atop their fellows, stacking up behind you. A few seconds later the pungent smell of sweaty horse enters the cavern as the equine itself crams into the shelter, Paddy and Heidi leaning forward to clear the ceiling.

“AH HA, THE FOX WENT TO GROUND!” Paddy calls enthusiastically. “FUCK THE TERRIER MAN, YOUR ASS IS MINE!”

That's about when the first bomb hits.

>MONGOOSE RIKKI TAVI SNAKE HOLES NEVER GO IN UH FUCK THIS BRITBONG SHIT COME AT ME IF YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>>35249139
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

PADDY THIS IS LITERALLY *NOT* THE TIME.

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

PROTECT LITTLE SISTER WITH BODY

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>>35249139
>FIGHT BACK

>AGAINST BOMBS

>AGAINST PADDY

>AGAINST WHATEVER

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249139
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>>35249139
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>>35249139
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249139
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249139
>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

>Captcha: witchmil technology

This guy knows what's up

>>35249139
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

Protect the cossack!

>>35249080
What? I made the list? Impressive.

>>35249101
Oh shit! Did young just get his leg mangled?

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

NIGGA THIS IS NOT THE TIME

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>>WE ARE LITERALLY BEING BOMBED RIGHT NOW THIS SUCKS ALL SORTS OF ASSDICK OH GOD

and bravo for the Rikki Tavi reference, if sanya was not there I probably would have gone with that.

>>35249205
>stand on the brakes and whip left into an aircraft revetment, and take cover under the wide aluminum hide of a parked aircraft – maybe your own Widow, who's nose you see a few stalls up. But you remember that the revetments are priority targets for any bombers, (assuming its not Washing Machine Charlie and his usual horseshit come to Barin) and hiding under a big aluminum fuel tank isn't very fucking smart, even for a pilot. Bowing to the inevitable, you keep the throttle floored and thunder down the length of the grass airstrip till the faint humps of dirt at the runway's edge can be seen – the covers over the trenches that provide people a place to duck when air attack catches them away from their gun pits or the larger, more spacious shelters.
>“NO NO NO NO NO NO-” Sanya's screaming.
>“AAAAHAHAHA TRUST ME YUH BOSHLEVISK BINT!” you scream, judging the spatial relationships in an eyeblink and deciding to gun the engine one more time as you go for it. The bike fits inside the trench perfectly, with barely an inch to spare – and none for your fucking LEG OH FUCK-
No, but he avoided it by inches.

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>>35249139
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35248688
>>HANG A HARD LEFT INTO AN AIRCRAFT REVENTMENT AND HIDE UNDER SOMETHING

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>>35249139
>>MONGOOSE RIKKI TAVI SNAKE HOLES NEVER GO IN UH FUCK THIS BRITBONG SHIT COME AT ME IF YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH

>>35249139
>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249219
Wow, I posted that right between them. For a second there it was a nail biter.

>>35249139
hey, could we do some gnome shit to hijack control of her chibitanks (or at least disable them)? That would probably distract her.

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA
>>GET THAT DAMN JACKET OVER HER WITCHES FALL ASLEEP WHEN SOMETHING'S DARK OVER THEIR HEADS RIGHT

>>35249274
No, witches fall asleep in closets and after being knocked up.

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>>35246465
Holy shit SWQ i̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶?̶ CAME BACK TWO WEEKS AGO AND I MISSED IT?!

Man, and I thought today couldn't get any better after I got free steak for lunch...

>>35249292
So Minna fell asleep after Cupcake knocked her up?

>>35249309
the only way that could get better is if yougot a BJ with it.

>>35249326
Ben & Jerry's? Fucking sweeet.

>>35249139
>>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

HUGS

>>35249325
Of course!

>SANYA'S GONNA FREAK OUT OH CHRIST SEE TO THE SANYA

>>35249325
Yes. Also after she knocked Young up

>>35249386
Oh hey there. How's the shower scene coming along?

>>35249407
I'll get to it after the ghostdiva/fronk and when I have free time.

>>35249482
Is there a compilation of all this SW lewd that is compiled somewhere?

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>>35249392
I regret nothing for getting planefag to make it cannon.

>>35249536
damn it young!

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The first blast thunders through the earth, shaking dust loose from the walls and causing the reinforcing timbers to creak. You turn to Sanya and pluck her from the sidecar, then dump her in the furthest corner of the trench. You note she's still wearing that standard-issue one-piece blue swimsuit that Luuchini was also cavorting on the beach in, and decide that's bad. Pilots wear jackets because it gets freaking cold at altitude – and they wear leather jackets as a precaution against fire. You strip your flight jacket off and fling it over the stunned-looking witch's head before flinging yourself after, hunching over her as she curls into a ball in the corner. The loud, awful blasts thunder through the ground, causing Sanya to jerk and whimper with each blast.

“Ssssh,” you say soothingly. “No shrapnel's gonna get us down here. Not even an airblast, because we've got-”

CLANG!

You blink.

Shrapnel should not clang.

You look up and peer at the cover over your trench. Its long, and metallic, and it has a little round port in the side where someone probably poured-

“-AHAHAHA, WE'RE UNDER A GODDAMN EARTHQUAKE BOMB!” Paddy supplies helpfully. Another chunk of shrapnel CLANGS! against the bomb, causing every muscle in your body to leap in terror before slamming your numbskull into the bomb's thick iron casing.

“Aw don't be a pussy,” Paddy says conversationally as another impact makes you squeak like a dog toy. “It's not fuzed, its not going to go off.”

Below you, Sanya seems to have checked out, unaware of the trench or the questionable cover, curled into a tight little ball underneath the jacket.

>... come here often?
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249560
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?
She can help with Sanya while we figure out the rest.

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>“-AHAHAHA, WE'RE UNDER A GODDAMN EARTHQUAKE BOMB!” Paddy supplies helpfully.
Sounds like a normal day.

>>35249560
>...come here often?

Casual danger dialogues help with the nerves.

Her nerves, his nerves, our nerves.

>>35249560
>>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

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>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249615
Eh no sweat, earthquake bombs have strengthened ground-piercing cases. It'll be fine.

>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>>Calming backrubs and such for Sanya
>>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?
>Reassure the littlest cossack.

>>35249560
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249612
this

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

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...wait, we're actually getting bombed here.

What about our plane? Are they actually bombing our plane?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35249407
Shower scene with who?

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>>35249811
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

>>35249829
And again, is there a compilation of these lewds somewhere?

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?
The Widow is being destroyed as we speak.

>>35249829
Liberty and Knives. Magical Girl Liberty Quest.

>>35249875
You are an exceedingly busy person, Fapfic Anon.

Do you even sleep and have time to take care of yourself?

>>35249875
got a pastebin with all your works? its an absolute nightmare trying to keep track of them all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WEVfY-UrXw *hrnk*

>>35249942
>IB student
>sleep

Good joke.

>>35249985
Only released one fic so far. Have one half done and notes on several more.

>>35249560
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35249985
We really need some kind of unified pastebin or wiki page with all of the smut and other side stories. Way too many to keep track of otherwise.

>>35249560
>... hey, Paddy, while we've got a moment – WHAT THE FUCK

>>35250044
Joke would be if you were a dual-major Engineering student. THAT would be funny. IB just isn't the same degree.

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>>35250105
It is when you're in marching band.

>>35250044
>IB

What HL courses are you taking?

>>35249560
>>... Heidi, could I get some help here?
Damn, I'm late for STRIKE WITCHES QUEST

ALL HAIL PLANEFAG

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>>35250142
>BANDFAG

HEY

HEY BY THE THIRD FUCKING HOUR OF REHEARSAL HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SMASH THAT FUCKING DR. BEAT SO HARD THE SHATTERED REMAINS EMBED THEMSELVES IN THE DRUM MAJOR'S EYES LIKE JAGGED JAVELINS OF PURE JUSTICE?

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>tfw no new Minna dirndl pics

>>35250189
HEY GUYS WE FOUND THE BAND STUDENT!

>>35249985
There are also the legendary old fapfics from the SWQ board

>>35250189

brrrm brrm bang

brrm brrm bang

>>35250189
>>35250214
>ISMayonnaiseAnInstrument.gif

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>>35250213

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>>35250189

OR THAT ONE FUCKBARGE WITH THE BASS DRUM THAT THINKS "JAZZ RUN" MEANS "RAMMING SPEED" AND KEEPS CLIPPING YOU WITH THE LUGS ON HIS DRUM UNTIL YOU WANT TO ROLL UP YOUR DOTBOOK AND STUFF IT DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT

EHEHARHEAHEAERLBLAERLAFEALRF

>>35250232
Tink tink tink tink
Tink tink tink tink.

>>35250230
pretty sure that stuff is lost now with the board being dead.

>>35250044
was not able to find yours in the archive, did you not namefag when posting it?

>>35249536

Just jumping in to confirm; planefag did it to troll me.

Funny part is, once i figured out how to actually make it work, he cried.

>>35250269
What about the flutes that complain that their arms get tired?

>>35250142
>>35250189
Trombone-Engineerfag here.
My sympathies on IB and marching band though, Fapfic Anon.
planefag: Always, especially during a tropical storm where you hear the beats OVER THE STORM AND THUNDER. Seriously. Also, same band director who made me play shortly after my wisdom teeth got removed. Got blood in my trombone, popped the stitches and quit band. Yeah.

>>35250291
what

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>>35250142
Goddamnit man, you broke the planefag

>>35250273
>>35250232
>>35250269
>>35250214
>>35250189
>>35250142
All these talks about bands and all I can say is this

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFTG94wcrz0

>>35250304

Yep. just what it says on the tin.

>>35250307

Like that's hard.

>>35250283
>pretty sure that stuff is lost now with the board being dead.

It'd be less lost IF KOTA ACTUALLY FIXED THE FUCKING BOARD

OR GAVE THE DATA TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT

>>35250283
One of them is still around, at least.

http://pastebin.com/v4S4cpTq

>>35250269
You can't forget about the flag line smacking the shit out of people.

Oh and tubas doing whatever the fuck they want. That always happened in my practices. I'm one of those tubas.

>>35250307
There is no RAGE like that of marching band members after three hours of practice except those who have been practicing longer.

>>35250269

four fortes

>>35250345
I am too anon. B flat forever.

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>>35250266
>implying

>>35250349
I know...back when I was in school I'd hafta walk by their practice field one day a week when I was heading to class. I always made it a point to smile and wave at one of my friends, preferably while eating something.

She was not amused
>>35250331
Are you gonna take responsibility

>>35250269
Trombone-guy again. Yep. Also, You know how they say you should never jazz run backwards because you're likely to injure yourself? Had a show where I had to do that. Screwed up my ankle fierce because I had to go into a dead stop after jazz-running

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>>35250291
I will add to that with this. Pic related. Young can't seem to keep his pants on. More so when those witches want them off of him.

>>35250424
>Young can't seem to keep his pants onGiven the environment Young's in, this has multiple meanings

>>35250400
why would you have to jazz run backwards wtf

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We should pull Minna and Lucchini out of this hellhole already.

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Calling the vote (narrowly) for GET SOME HELP HERE KTHX.

>>35250291

I didn't do it deliberately to troll you (an exception rare enough that its worthy of note, mind) but when I found out people took it seriously and you were getting grief because of it I did laugh like a lunatic.

Well played, you bugger.

>>35250297

If you think it's bad from halfway across the field, try listening to it from inside the section.

Especially from the bints carrying piccolos. I mean, bitch, its a PICCOLO.

>>35250302
I hope your director got pushed off a cliff.

>>35250345
>flag line

In one of our competitions a color guard girl managed to smack some awful bitch judge who was always giving us shit - right in the gob. It was amazing.

>>35250345
>Tubas

I'll never forget the pep band I attended where the home band had one tuba who was just fucking break-dancing in the middle of the field, the formation or whatever be damned. It was clearly unplanned and quite amazing.

>>35250297
All my god damn rage.

>>35250469
Because the set called for me to go backwards five to ten yards and across twenty yards and then freeze there without falling over and do it in exactly twenty counts. I eventually got it down solid by practicing in hiking boots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJi6cCSyRC8

>>35250495
>I'll never forget the pep band I attended where the home band had one tuba who was just fucking break-dancing in the middle of the field, the formation or whatever be damned. It was clearly unplanned and quite amazing.
That's... That's quite the feat, Guv'nah.

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>>35250424
Whoa whoa whoa, you keep best witch out of this!

Any of you band aces played this piece yet?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6jCJZEFIto

>>35250495
>flag smacks a judge
One time, a judge got stuck inside a box rotation. It was hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTuKamL19XA

Mardi Gras is definitely a place to be if you want to see marching bands

>>35249560
>... Heidi, could I get some help here?

>planefag, could I get a post here?

>>35250826
HEIDI, PLS HELP SANYA WITH HANDJOBS

Man, all this band talk is making me miss marching band.

Sucks that my school's marching band only takes brass instruments, and even if I weren't a saxophone player I wouldn't have time for it anyway now that I'm in grad school.

>>35251081
My brother was in a marching band that had a sax player in a wheelchair. Dude was fucking GOOD.

>>35251081
We should start the SWQ marching band for shits and giggles.

>>35250541
Too late.

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You briefly ponder asking Paddy just what in the holy hell he was doing with the witch, and the tanks, and the horse and the goddamn HUNTING HORN when you realize he might ask you to explain any number of things yourself, such as the Neon Samurai, the thirty-cig dragon impersonation, or something similar.

So you clear your throat and croak over a dry tongue - “Heidi-”

KA-BOOM!

“-a little help here!?”

On the other side of the teetering, clicking-clacking tower of chibitanks you see her red-flushed face peek out from behind Paddy's muscular body long enough to nod at you. The faint glow of her magical antenna are visible in the dark shelter as she warms up her mojo. Sanya twitches, then curls a little tighter, her ears and tail popping out smoothly as she activates her own magic. You shiver a little; no matter how many times you see it, you still can't tell if it's neat or creepy.

“How're those fighters doing up there, love?” Paddy asks, peeking under his arm to address Heidi.

“Th- the...? Oh, I don't know if I can get through that iron thing and the dirt, but-” she squeezes her eyes shut and her magical antenna surges with brilliant green light, filling the gloomy bunker. “Uh...”

“Well?”

“They just keep on shouting something that sounds like 'suck in sin' and 'cheeky breeky...”

“Well they're in good spirits at least!”

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>>35251125

The sound of forty mike-mikes, thirty-sevens and machine guns has been roaring outside in a rough, disjointed cacophony for a few minutes now, but quite suddenly a deeper, rougher, and throughly more terrifying roar starts up, a solid wave of sound that seems to thunder and tremble through the earth.

“The fuck is that?” Paddy asks.

“That'd be the California,” you guess. “And the five-inchers.” An 88mm shell is what pilots consider “heavy AA,” a huge-ass cannon capable of flinging big shells up four miles to bomber altitude. The secondary armament of a battleship is rather larger than 88mm, and its all slaved to a single fire director.

Five inch flak, in a phrase, is fucking terrifying.

“So those blokes in the wee planes are turning back right?” Paddy asks.

“N-now they're just laughing,” Heidi says uncertainly.

You and Paddy share a glance and shrug.

A minute later, the bombs cease hitting, but none of you budge – humans learned the trick of setting some bombs on long-delay fuzes to catch people emerging from shelters before the Martians ever arrived, and there's a few zillion pounds of high-explosive AA that missed the mark or failed to explode that's raining back to earth at the moment. You sit in the darkness for a few minutes, letting your heartbeats settle down, the space illuminated by the glowing antennas of the night witches. Only the soft knickers of the horse fill the space, prompting you to loosen the cap on the Indian's gas tank, trading the horse smell for the clean sharp scent of petroleum.

>>35251125
>cheeky breeky

A nu cheeki breeki i v damke!

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>>35251149

You slump against the wall and pull the little cossack into your lap, resting her head against your shoulder. This puts her magical cat-ears right at lip-level, where their twitching tickles you terribly. You huff at them, which just makes them twitch more.

Which reminds you that you've always wondered – since before you ever joined up, even – just what's up with the whole ears and tail thing. There's the 'official' explanation, but you wonder how much the Matrons buried. Something to ask Minna, you resolve.

Heidi's face has the blank expression of someone concentrating on a private conversation, but she's cinched her arms even tighter around Paddy's middle and is burying her nose against his back. Paddy catches you looking, and in the dim green glow you see him shoot you a truly gigantic shit-eating grin.

>Catch Heidi's attention, hand-signal for details on the Russian Crisis
>Catch Paddy's attention, hand-signal for details on Heidi Lewds
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

>>35251115
We'll need an arrangement of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KegTVzpFMdw

Also, our uniform should include aviators. And we need baton twirlers/flag girls with no pants.

>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

>>35251184
>>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.
Why is this a question?

>>35251184
>>Catch Heidi's attention, hand-signal for details on the Russian Crisis

>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.
scritch behind the ears!

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>>35251184
>>Succumb to temption - pet the Sanyan
We can't let her lose her way!

>>35251184
>Catch Paddy's attention, hand-signal for details on Heidi Lewds

>>35251184
>>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.
Fluffy ears

>>35251196
Wait, yours wore pants?

>>35251184
>>Catch Heidi's attention, hand-signal for details on the Russian Crisis
>>35251196
Nah, pants for everyone, except if they want to wear kilts or I dunno screw it.
Anyway, Trombone-Engineer passing out for the night. Glad to know I wasn't alone in thinking my band director to be a terrible director AND person. I could seriously do a thread on just my marching band stories, good AND bad. Like the time our practice field turned into a pond and I ran over it without getting soaked.

>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

No contest

>>35251184
>Catch Paddy's attention, hand-signal for details on Heidi Lewds
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

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>>35251252
>TacOps PDF open in the background

hey you

I like you

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>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

>>35251184
>Catch Paddy's attention, hand-signal for details on Heidi Lewds

>>35251184
>Catch Heidi's attention, hand-signal for details on the Russian Crisis

>>35251184
>Catch Heidi's attention, hand-signal for details on the Russian Crisis
>Catch Paddy's attention, hand-signal for details on Heidi Lewds
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

i don't see how we cant hand signal and pat Sanyan in between.

>>35251184
>>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.
PET.
THE.
CATgirl

>>35251184
>Succumb to temptation – pet the Sanyan.

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>>35251300
Excellent taste. I prefer the Awesome, though.

>muh 3/3/2 fire pattern