inb4 dead after two threads

>>34960240
AW

SHIT


NIGGAH

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“You know, the Russians,” Joe continues. “Or was it whats-his-name, that Cronkite cocksucker or one of those other jew bastards they sent over here to ride along on a few milk runs and wax poetic about how big their balls are? You know, the sixty-niners or whatever. Sorry,” he says with a laugh, “I can't keep these jew names separate in my head, y'know what I mean? Anyway, I'm dying to know – who?”

A kind of stunned stuttering is floating through the line.

“Talking about? Talking about?” Joe says, his grin getting a little wider. He moves the handset away and looks up at you. “Hey, guys, Bobby wants to know what this is all about!” He laughs, his voice warm and mirthful despite his wide, cold eyes. “Well Bobby, I was kinda wondering who paid you off to sabotage that impact fuze and I'd love it if you told us quick cuz I've got five bucks riding it and I'd like to collect in time to hit up the PX for some decent smokes, y'know?”

A flurry of panicked sounds come flowing from the receiver as Joe nods, a huge shit-eating grin on his face. He waits for the flow to dissipate while rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Aaaaahhhhhh'ma *cut* yuh,” he decides.

The sudden silence of the telephone spreads through the room.

“Yeaaah,” Joe says, clearly warming to the idea. “Cuttin'. Efficient. Quiet. Well, with a gag, but I mean it's such a pain to do the oil filter thing, you know? I don't even have a threaded barrel. Anyway Bobby gotta run, so you take care now and let that commie jew cunt bastard that bribed you know it wasn't your fault things went tits-up kay? Best assfuck and make up quick 'cuz there's a lot of men on the MIA rolls and most of them just walk off into a hedgerow and fukkin vanish cuz ~oooh Martians!~” Joe says cheerfully before lying the receiver on the cradle again.

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He turns to you.

“Oh hey!” he says, shaking his head briskly “Bblbrlrrlrlrlrlrlrr. Sorry. Had to get the jitters outta my system after the whole, you know, almost exploding thing. Yeah. Coffee?” He hoists the carafe and points at it with his free hand.

>Sure
>Naw
>What the flying fuck did I just see
>Naw it's cool I just remembered I had a knee rotation appointment at Dr. Anywherebutinthisfuckinghut and I'm running late!

>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see


Just

what

>>34960328
>Find girlfriend
>Hide behind girlfriend until the Joe stops

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Is this because I made the crack in the Strike Witches thread on /a/ about the guy being disappointing like planefag? Is this what was meant by me being 'shown later today'?

Because he is still a disappointment & so are you angelfap.

>>34960419
Don't worry, the world doesn't revolve around you like that.

>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see

oh got what the christ.

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>>34960419

the planefag you knew is dead

long live

the planefag

>>34960469
It's almost a shame. Because I'd be the sun & and just biding my time until I could kill EVERYONE.

>>34960524
Whatever you say cap'n.

>i'll just refresh /tg/ one last time before i go to bed
>strike witches quest

You just made my tomorrow pre-emptively.

See you on the archive.

>>34960240
Watch out for planefag!
/qtg/ public enemy number one!
He is the main one responsible for...

[X] SWQ
[X] SuWQ
[X] SW89
[X] TW89
[X] PJW89
[X] ALL THOSE OTHER NEVER ENDING FUCKING SPINOFFS
[X] Inserting a male PC into my pure lesbian waifu setting
[X] Killing questing in 2004,2011,2012,2013,2014
[X] Hostile take over of /qtg/
[X] Popularizing questing on /tg/, choaking the board with shitty quests
[X] Having "fun"
[X] Anonkun's white color scheme
[X] Encouraging GermanSchteel to write his shittier "fixed" SWQ:Galia
[X] Numerous false-flagging operations
[X] /qtg/ trolling
[X] Trolling Taleanon
[X] Removing Crusty Jones's internet connection
[X] Bullying EGO
[X] Bullying AzureNyan
[X] Bullying planefag
[X] Migration of FUCK QUEST to /tg/
[X] Gyoji imoutospamming
[X] Fluff
[X] Skub
[X] NTR in Psion quest
[X] Hexer's slow pace
[X] Making Merlin lewd
[X] Never delivering Keine lewds
[X] Deculture's delays
[X] Successful assassination of TalesAnon
[X] Successful assassination of Kota
[X] Attempted assassination of deculture by flooding the Philippines
[X] Making Rena suffer
[X] Causing Doc's injuries
[X] Starving the world's supply of bad dragon's with bulk purchases
[X] Diaz
[X] Introducing the .H264 10-bit profile in questing
[X] Zoe Quinn and Five Guys
[X] Pushing to ban lolis in Japan
[X] DDOS'ing nyaa.se
[X] Was responsible for Theros being the worst block ever
[X] Created Kamigawa
[X] Banned Golgari Grave Troll and Dread Return from Modern
[X] Taking over and directing Star of David Games
[X] Fetches in Modern
[X] Leads the IRC Cabal
[X] Vote spammed with the Cabal to make sure your waifu didn't win in that quest
[X] Purgin exhentai of all wani content (never forget)
[X] Made the Hugbox
[X] Killing SWQ
[X] Not Killing SWQ
[X] Never writing AWiY, ever
[X] Anti-skubbers
“[X] That”

His ultimate goal is to kill questing and /tg/!
However, you can stop him. Spread this list!

>>34960240
#dead

>>34960524
so does that mean SWQ won't be shit this time?

>>34960577
How fucking long did it take to adapt this from /a/?

OH LORD

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE

Whatever it is, I'll be joining this wild ride wherever it goes

>>34960240
>What the flying fuck did I just see

>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see

>>34960577
Is "that" explicitly screwed up?
>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see

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>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see
But *nicely*

>>34960240
THAT'S NOT TRUE.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

>>34960585
>any SWQ
>Not being shit

Come on man. It's why we're here.

>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see

GODDAMMIT! You update this just a week and a half before I leave for boot camp!

YOU BETTER HAVE SOME GOOD SHIT READY WHEN I GET BACK!

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>>34960386
>>34960476

You blink away your impromptu nap as you stare at the clean-cut looking young Kennedy who's awaiting your answer.

“Sooooo no? Cool.” He dumps half the cup into one of those cheap tin “mugs” that come with the standard issue mess-kit and flops down in a folding chair next to Minna, slurping away. “So, what's with Miss Cat-atonia and Olive Overdrive?” He nods in the general direction of the bunks at the back of the Quonset hut, where Zuuchini and Sanya are both huddled under thin green GI blankets on their cots. They're both completely quiet, Sanya buried underneath her cover and Zuuchini just staring through the wall opposite.

“... shock,” you say with difficulty, because your face seems to have gone numb. “Uh... yeah. Shock.”

“Oh,” Joe says with a shrug, and turns back to his coffee, fishing a pen out of his pocket to stir it with.

You slowly swivel your gaze towards Minna, who's giving you a completely blank look. She shrugs, ever so slightly.

>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.

HAIL TO THE KING!

>>What the flying fuck did I just see

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>>34960328

>What the flying fuck did I just see

>>34960767
>Go check on Sanya.

>>34960240
This can't be happening.

>>34960767
>>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>>Go check on Sanya.

CHECK ON BOTH LITTLE GIRLS

>>34960767
>Go check on Sanya.

>Go check on Sanya.
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?

All the above, in that order

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>>34960767
>Go check on the Zuuchini.

Holy shit. It's back.

>>34960857

He only did this because I threatened to put an assbeating on him at AWA that would be indescribable in the languages of man.

>>34960767
>>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>>Go check on Sanya.

>>34960240
[x] Lick Cupcake's soulgem
[x] Knock Sanya and Eila up

>>34960877
you should do it anyway, to ensure he keeps running this

>>34960877
So he doesn't actually want to, and it will be even shittier than before. Good to know.

Why would you do that?

>>34960899
You sir, are one disgusting fuck

>>34960931
>what is a joke

what the fuck is going on? I dont recognize these people

>>34960877
So you'll sick your (parents) dogs on him?

>>34960767
>>Go check on Sanya.

>>34960951

Where you here for SWQ?

You might want to go archive diving.

>>34960942
This thread.

>>34960811
>>34960767
+1

>>34960977
Different anon here and I was, SWQ was the first quest I posted in, I just lurked before it, man this is nostalgic as fuck

>>34960877

Do it.

Sic ye sweater puppies on 'im

>>34960977
>!!0ZviLFh59My
I was, but I only remember Yaeger, Sean, Ian, Bouncelord, hellcow, and the generals.

I do not remember joe.

>>34960767
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.

LEETLE SEESTAHS

>>34960951
Its from exactly where it left off, rngeezus exists.

>>34961018

Remember the one who flew the fucking bomber turned into fucking flying bomb?

>>34960767
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Make a mental note to bounce on that fucker at some point. Man knows no respect.

>>34960951
So you are THAT new.

>>34961018
the pilot of the fucktarded aphrodite project guided bomb in the last thread

>>34961018
Joe showed up only in the last thread and the aborted one PF started before ditching.

>>34961059
When was the last thread?
I don't remember.

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>>34961078
>>34961059
>>34961018
You know.

Joesph Kennedy Junior.

>>34961048
OOOOOH now I remember. thanks.

>>34960767
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.

All three, this guy is a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.

>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see

>>34961263
I'm starting to think that his loss wasn't so much of a loss after all.

>>34961263
Implying we even have a basket to put the sandwiches in.

>>34961059
Joseph P. Kennedy

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>>34960767
Gotta check up on the best italian

>>34961318
why are you pointing that out to me anon? I already know that

>>34961311
And apparently he is looking at you as a means of gaining something, at your expense. In short, time to GTFO!

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You vaguely recall that before you witnessed a piloted drone crash-land into Zuuchini's beach fort and unleash the titanic and terrifying might of TWENTY FUCKING THOUSAND POUNDS of torpex high explosive in a cataclysmic blast that tore the earth of England itself asunder and punched a towering hole in the ever-present English overcast, that you'd originally come to the beach to find Sanya and see if she was okay following that whole... ~thing~ with that sweaterized sexpot of a Witch at the party last night.

And after that splendid display of... whatever it was from Joe Kennedy there, you're feeling mighty interested in anything that moves you away from this goddamned table. You approach her bunk slowly, politely calling out. “Sanya?” The little cossack doesn't react, her thousand-yard stare intense and unbroken. “Saaaaan-yaaaaa?” She refuses to reply.

“SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~” you drone, putting a quaver in your voice in the most irritating possible fashion. If there's one thing a big brother is good at, its provoking a response from even the stoniest-faced younger girl.

But the littlest cossack just rolls over in her cot to stare the other way.

You frown.

This is bad.

>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>Try to comfort Zuuchini.
>Guilt-trip Sanya.
>PILOT CALLS FOR AID

WHAT.

IS.

HAPPENING.

Th-this is madness. I've lost my mind and this is a hallucination... right?

>>34961382
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

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>>34961342
U wot m8?

>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

>>34961393
We're all mad here.

>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961382
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>Give Sanya head pats and hair rufflings

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>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

>randomly check the archive before my nightly fap session
>Strike Witches Quest 96
>Planefag returns. Joe Kennedy is a creepy son of a bitch.
>DISREGARD PORN, ACQUIRE WITCHES

Also,
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961417
Still not nest eyetalian.

>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961382
>PILOT CALLS FOR AID

This shit is way over our head

>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

>>34961504
Of course not. Her familiar is a dog, not a bird. Why would she make a nest?

WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THIS WITCHCRAFT!

Planefag is back!

SWQ IS BACK!

THE P-61 IS BACK!

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>>34961566
This is why. You have to take responsibility after all.

>>34961657
>still no p-61 in warthunder

>>34961566
One my phone. But Luciana is best Italian.

>>34961677
It's a damn shame. At least we get the Tigercat in 1.43

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>>34961659
Says you.

>Shoulda been on the pill, bitch!

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>>34960240
My god. I had lost faith. I should have trusted you planefag.

Also fuck you for running this the night before i have to get up early for PT

what about best german?

>>34961760
Minna of course.

>>34961760

already bonked

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>>34961774
But that's not you spell Heidi.

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>>34961760
Star of Afrika a best. Cupcakeski a close second.

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>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

You recognize a cold shoulder when you see it, having had plenty of experience in English pubs, so you turn to the other cot behind you, containing the sullen Zuuchini, formerly of Fort Italy. You and Zuuchini have not always been on the best terms – in fact, you deliberately steered the propeller of a 2,000 horsepower RS-2800 Double Wasp right into her pillow fort, deliberately, a few days ago, and not ten minutes ago another pilot had slugged her in the gut before his plane literally vaporized her magnificent statement of Italian sovereignty and national character.

But you're sure you can get over that. You've defended your Kawaii Squad, and they you, from every beast that walks, crawls, slithers or salutes, from Hellcow to the Brass and even from Marines, the slimy coating be damned. You're a natural at this, and when you're turning on your tried and true big brother charm, no force of nature nor man nor Martian can restrain you.

“Zuuchiiiiniiiiiiiiiiii~” you drawl, shaking the rickety cot back and forth. “Whassuuuuuup?”

Complete silence greets your query.

“C'mon, spill.”

More silence.

“C'mon, kid, gimme sumthin.”

“Okay.”

You look down in time to see the muzzle of the revolver discharge into your groin.

>>34961807
That's not how you spell Minna.

>>34961832

ZUUCHINI PLS

>>34961760
Erica, of course.
It was stated that if we had a kid, it would effectively be Loki made manifest

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>>34961832
>double deliberately

FUCK

>>34961760
Fast as a greyhound, tough as leather and hard as Krupp steel.
Same as ever.

>>34961837
Auch im kleinen Schwarzen passt der weiße Wal nicht in die Grüne Minna.

>>34961832
Pray to God that is a blank, or a worst a soap round.

>>34961832
Zuchinni wants to prevent the Youngspawn

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>>34961760

>>34961964
Luchinni! You've caused a time paradox!

>>34961832
Planefag ending the quest by having all the girls hate his guts, calling it now

>>34961964
It's too late for that now, there's already a cupcake in the oven!

>>34961832
Looks like we're gonna sing soprano in the soap opera.

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>>34961760
What about Rudel?

Gertrude is best wish.

Minna won due to Widow status and pun.

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>>34961757
Trust in the planefag! Faith in the planefag!

>>34962028
And a cupcake in the cupcake!

>>34961964
Minna is already pregnant too late.

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>>34962044
best strudel

>>34962044
Pretty good, most german witches are pretty good

>>34962080
WAIT SHIT I DONT REMEMBER THIS HAPPENING

OH GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE

>>34962080
With Cupcake's kid. Young's pregnant, too.

>>34962028
You mean MC's oven, right? Because it's canon that cupcake got MC pregnant.

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Your balls detonate.

There is no other word for the velocity at which the horrendous pain goes surging through your body, a blast-wave of searing mind-blanking agony that blows your thoughts out through your skull and compresses your brain stem into a little hard white ball, a single pure painful thought -

EEAERAHAERRBLHARFUAELRHYEAERLFUDFD -

You come around a few seconds later underneath Sanya's cot, a faint foam of spittle gathering around your mouth. Through the open door of the Quonset hut you can see the rapidly diminishing form of Luuchini, her skinny little legs a blur as she waves her revolver over her head, her other hand flipping you the bird as hard as she can.

As you stare at the retreating eye-talian through bleary eyes, a cascade of red hair cuts off your vision, followed by Minna's concerned face.

“Are you all right?”

>YEP YEP I'M TOUGH
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.

>>34962138
And this, ladies and gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) is why you put a leash on a dog.

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now

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>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159

>MUST. KILL.

Must chop up the Zucchini. Cook her into some pasta. Other horrible shit that our agonized mind cannot process right now.

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
*croak*

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>QUICK MINNA CHECK MY BALLS

>>34962100
Talking about them, did they upgrade to Sturmvogel strikers?

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
Less talk, more calling the doctor.

I'm liking this solidarity.

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
Looks like Cupcake's going to be the surrogate father after all.

>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

VEG

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.

There must be retribution for our best friends!

>>34962232
Wait a sec.

What if Sloidah is decended from Cupcake?

>>34962310
that makes a disturbing amount of sense.

>>34962325
But slider is not like cupcake at all.

>>34962339
No we've seen the strudel in SWQ'89. It's got the hots for mav.

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>>34960240
HOLY
MOTHERFUCKING
SHIT
HE'S
BACK!

>>34962367
Isn't that one Minna's child?

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>MUST. KILL.

>>34962367
Yeah, but its not Slider.

>>34962310

I'll go ahead and save you guys some trouble, none of the main cast is descended from SWQ cast other than Katya.

>>34962403

spoilsport

>>34962396
Yeah, Minna's and Cupcake's.

>>34962403
And Rosalie.

>>34962427

And Rosalie. Good catch.

>>34962447
Is Kenji a main?

>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
*weeze*
Don't worry, Miyafuji is used to fixing testicles with Erica on base!

>>34962403
Not even the Youngspawn?

>>34962464
Oh god fucking damn you asshole you reminded me of that fucking doujin.

That
Fucking
Doujin

>>34962468
>
He said main cast.

>>34962464
That girl has no idea what the weight on her trigger is, does she?

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>>34962464
GOD DAMMIT WHY DID YOU REMIND ME OF THAT

>>34962464
panzer go home

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

I've gone through a horrible break up, dropping out of uni, getting back into uni, and horrible, terrible changes in my life since the last SWQ.

I missed you so much fapangel. I missed you so much and you have no idea what this means to me.

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>>34962464
>>34962492
>>34962528
>>34962533

I knew I kept this handy for a reason

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Any other day, you might have made a show of being completely unperturbed by taking a hundred foot-pounds worth of energy right in the goddamned groin, just to spite the Navy pilot a few feet away, but there's really only one answer to the question just posed to you.

Reaching forward with clawed hands, you seize Minna's lapels and pull her face closer.

“HGNHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

“... so no, then,” she replies, pursing her lips.

“Hughrrrrhrrrrrr,” you wheeze, your vision starting to double up as tears of agony fill your vision. You fumble at your neck, catching the fine chain hung there, and slip your dog-tags out, trying to shove them in her face.

“Okay, okay,” she says soothingly, slipping her arms under yours and lifting you with a slight grunt of effort. Within a moment she's got you lying on Zuuchini's cot, your head cradled in her lap as she wipes away your tears.

“Feeling better?”

“Eaarrrfph,” you say encouragingly.

Minna holds up some charred thing between thumb and forefinger. “Looks like she used a bit of hard wax. The German Army used to use something similar as training rounds.” She flicks it away. “Guess she's a bit upset over that castle of hers, huh?”

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>>34962633

The door to the hut swings open on rusty hinges to admit a tired, older-looking man in dusty GI duds and a battered green helmet, a clipboard in his hand. Through your haze of misery you recognize the characteristic expression of the long-suffering NCO. With everyone from eighteen to forty subject to the draft, plenty of fathers and accomplished middle-management types are in uniform and under arms, and they typically achieve NCO rank by dint of not being eighteen year olds with ready access to hilarious amounts of high explosive and poor supervision. If not for those thin-haired legions of men, half of humanities armed forces would be one-eyes and eight-fingered by now.

The man strides into the center of the room, flings his battered clipboard on the table before Kennedy, and takes off his helmet to inspect the wad of wax embedded on it. “Can anyone tell me why a girl with no pants on just shot me in the head while screaming VIVA ITALIA?”

“That's Luuchini,” Minna says apologetically. “She's kind of upset her fort got blown up, so she's running around shooting everyone, I guess.”

The poor NCO rubs at his eyes. “Fucking Sicily all over again.”
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>Lets try to rouse Sanya.
>Zuuchini is a menace. She must be stopped at all costs.
>Zuuchini has challenged your honor. GET READY TO D-D-D-UEL!

Does anyone have the links to the '89 fapfics?

>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
while
>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>while
>>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats

sure why not.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
Comfy comfy thighs.

>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

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>>34962671

ghostdiva x Fronk is my OTP

>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Let's stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

Ain't no way we're letting a new guy get away from us without *some* shenanigans!

>>34962656
seconding >>34962681

>>34962656
>>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>while
>>>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats

Enough room to share the Thighway to heaven with Sanya?

>>34962723
I will write it for you if you don't stop writing this.

>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
HNGGRGHGHRNNNNR

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>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Let's stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

>>34962723
Best.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

Lucchini can do what she wants. I'm not putting our testicles on the line for this.

>>34962492
You mean this doujin?
http://g.e-hentai.org/s/c426f7eef1/418923-1
>>34962681
this

>>34962681
I can support this

>>34962656
>>Lets try to rouse Sanya.

>>34962769
Yes. There is a reason Hartmann is now the witch I fear most.

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>>34962746

Do you swear this on your life?

>>34962464
But I'm not Panzer :D

>>34962746

ANON PLS.

DO IT.

>>34962829
Aye.

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>>34962656

>Zuuchini is a menace. She must be stopped at all costs.

>>34961677
>>34961733
I want my cat but the widdow is coming

A Wizard is You update when you faggot.

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>>34962909

IF YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN, YOU SHALL RECEIVE FROM ME ALL THAT YOUR SICK, TWISTED HEART DESIRES.

YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR HIJINKS. YOUR CUTE WITCHES. YOUR TROLLING. YOUR BOUNCING. I WILL GIVE UNTO YOU THE LIKES OF WHICH FAGGOTS ON /TG/ HAVE ONLY DREAMT OF.

I SWEAR THIS ON MY SAITEX X-52 PRO.

>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
That nice feeling for handling THAT HORRIBLE PAIN FEELING.

>>34962963
ded

>>34962963
When you turn 30

> Minna-thighs are FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE FIND ME AN ICEPACK

>>34963009
Anyone got a good George Takei reaction face for this?

>>34963009

You know I'mma have to kill you now.

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We need to talk to Shirleytits again one of these years.

>>34963042
cant kill that which has no life

>>34963041
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nSKkwzwdW4

>>34963052
Noooooo, You got it all wrong.

"You can't kill the Messiah."
Full-on Kane here.

>>34963009
It'll be second on my list of fapfics to write. First one should be done and released for '89 on Tuesday.

>>34962656
>Zuuchini has challenged your honor. GET READY TO D-D-D-UEL!
>I don't know where she's gone. But i do have a certain set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like her. I will find her. She will pay.

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Gods it's back. It's fucking back!

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>>34963042

>kill planefag

PLANEFAG IS LOEV
PLAENFIG IS LIEF

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>>34963042

>>34963137
There's nothing better than two brothers arguing over something. There really isn't.

>>34963154

Planefag.

Maus x who?

>>34963050
She raped the widow :(

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>>34963137
You have to stop him, Maus! You're our only hope!

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>>34963042
If only you could instead give life back to the dead....

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>>34963180
Pffft, Ghost is a terrible assassin. I should know.

>>34962656
>When was the last time you toyed with the sanity of your crew? Less that twelve hours? Let's fix that.

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>>34963163

Sometimes I argue with him just to argue with him.

Kinda like this girl I've been snapchatting with for the past few days. I'm pretty sure I've picked a fight with her just for fun at least three times now.

>>34963180

I'M TRYIN' NIGGER

>>34963171

155mm IED pls.
My favorite.

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>Strike Witches Quest is back.
>Hell has frozen over.
>Everyone's going fucking nuts.
>planefag already receiving death threats.
>Smutfics being promised to the planefag in exchange for moar.
>Meanwhile, Young being shot in the balls.

I've waited for this day.

>>34963233

Is she ready to jump your bones?

>>34963233
>155mm IED pls.
You lewd son of a bitch. You know I've gotta work in EFPs now.

>>34963233
>Sometimes I argue with him just to argue with him.
I do that with my older brother all the time too. Especially since we're staying at the same place. It's hard not to mess with him.
*highfives*

Does this mean we'll finally get the Tofu archive or is that gone for good? I never did save any of the fapfics or writefaggotry from there.

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>>34963175
Well then, we'll just have to rape her back.

>>34963243
The only thing that could make it crazier is if we found out what Young's first name is.

>>34963275
It's gone gone because Kota a shit.

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>>34963255

probably but she's kind of chubby and her accent is atrocious. Plus i'm pretty sure she's got some form of very mild downs.

>>34963261

BITCH I AM AN EFP. ALL I NEED ARE SOME FUCKIN' NEEDLE NOSED PLIERS YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>34963267

>pic related

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>>34963280
>HAM-BAH-GAH

Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

Holyshitplanefag'salive?!?!?!?

Today is a good day.

>>34963482
If he'll update AWiY the week will be complete.

Now Fap Angle just needs to get a twitter for this seeing as he's going to keep writing it

It's been way too long. I can't get back into this.

>>34963482
>planefag
>good
Lel.

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You close your eyes with a miserable sigh and let Minna stroke her delicate fingers through your hair. Her bare thighs are warm and full and oh so firm under your head. If not for the awful throbbing pain in your groin as a horrible blood-filled welt rises down there, you could almost be happy here.

“What happened in Sicily?” Minna asks, to fill the conversational gap.

“Ugh,” the poor NCO mutters, slumping into a chair and accepting some joe from Joe. “Well, the Italians would do this thing where they'd run into the road and fire a few rounds at the Martians. The Martians would fire back, and the Italians would run into a building or something to make a final stand.”

“... and?”

The NCO takes a noisy slurp of coffee. “Then the Martians would call in the air, or some rocket-mortars, and that was that. Assuming the house didn't have Sicilians in it, in which case they saved them the ammo.”

Joe cracks his neck noisily as he tries to recline in the rickety folding chair. “Yeah, but that's just the resistance fighters-”

“When they did it on a divisional level, they'd first fail utterly at fire-and-maneuver on every possible level, and then get driven back into one of their fortresses,” the NCO explains. “The Fascists spent a lot of dough since the late 1800s fortifying that rock, against outsiders and the Sicilians themselves.”

“Like... castles?” Joe asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah. And modern fortresses with eight-inch naval guns behind concrete revetments three meters thick. Overlapping fields of fire – you name it.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead again.

“And those...” Minna asks.

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>>34963261

Isn't Mouse a treadhead?

DON'T FORGET THE "LONG ROD PENETRATORS"

YEAAAAAAHHH

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>>34963703

2lood

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>>34963665

“Got the shit blown out of them,” the NCO says miserably. “Which wouldn't have been so bad, except for that asshole. That fucking squeaky-toy asshole. You know what carries right over an artillery barrage so loud it beats your eardrums in until you shove pistol bullets into your ears as plugs? High-pitched things. Tank tracks squeaking, whistles, and that mother-fucking voice.” He tosses his coffee back in one swallow, his sullen wrath visible. “From his lips to a reporters ears, up on that hill, high wide and handsome. Oh he carried on, you should've seen him. And the laughter.” He's staring at the opposite wall now, his gaze more vacant than Sanya's, his haggard eyes betraying a man who's had to put up with more bullshit than mere mortals should ever venture. “I came to Italy for the monuments,' he'd say, and start laughing again. Or 'if Ceasar could see you dumb fucks right now, I don't know if he'd be laughing with me or shitting down your stupid wop throats.' Oh god. He had a blast. A god damned blast. I don't think I've ever seen the miserable bastard as happy as he was then.”

The NCO's head hits the table with a dull thud.

>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>other?

>>34963703

No, he's the dipshit that decided playing with explody shit was a good idea.

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

What other lesson could we possibly draw from this?

>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
of course, this gets vocalized as HHHRRNGRRRRHN

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

Ignore the fact that the electrified doorknob shocked you last time.

Surely, this time, the door you open, and you will get the delicious cake!

>>34963827

But you did so too.

You know.

That 'weeping TNT' sticks story

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>>34963777

So tell us Mouse, does your gun sling a biiig package, or is it rifled for her pleasure?

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

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>>34963807
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>>34963703
Don't worry, Mouse's anus will be ravaged.

Sidenote: It's not very easy to find the basics of bomb defusing on the internet, so this probably won't be very accurate. Or timely.

>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>>34963807
>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>other?
Stroke Minna's thighs

>>34963807
>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>eye-talians
>doing anything useful

>>34963857
>weeping TNT

TNT is literally just nitroglycerin stabilized in a fine sawdust compound. In temps high enough, the nitro kind of leeches out of it. The sticks actually sweat drops of nitro.

Anyone who touches something like that probably has to walk in a wheelchair because their gonads preclude normal walking.

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

Be good to all little sisters

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>>34963827

KEEPING YOU SAFE, ONE LONG WALK AT A TIME.

>>34963861

Why not both?

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
Turn to Sanya
Rope her along

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
Yeah, I really want to go with both of these two. Knowing /tg/ we'll have all three tied together.

>>34963807

>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRHNNNNNNNNNG?!

>>34963807
seconding >>34963900

>>34963908
wait, that shit was nitro?

>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

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>>34963930
I never thought I'd see Maus and Planefag getting all lewd with each other.

>>34963960
The big breakthrough with TNT was the stabilizing agent. That's the sawdust.

>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

>>34963988
And then TRUE Maus pairing was revealed!

>>34963856
When you do it repeatedly, it's called science.

>>34963960

Yeah.
It's pretty cool.
If I didn't know better, I'd venture to guess that those crates are still somewhere out on the farm, but last I heard they'd bulldozed the whole thing (and it didn't fucking detonate), so I'm pretty sure county mounties or state patrol or something got their bomb squad out there.

>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>>34963807
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

>>34964017

No, check it on google earth, the tin shed is still there. I assume they've opened it up and looked inside, but it's Iowa, so who the fuck knows?

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>>34964056

Nyoh my god.

<+RantingRavager> Something blew up. Fapangel and Maus are flirting. You can penetrate the sexual tension with a bad-dragon dildo

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>people voting for all the options

I'm going to take this as YOUNG REPENTS FOR NOTHING.

Also the thread updater is so goddamn nice for running busy threads oh my god

>>34964091
Also the thread updater is so goddamn nice for running busy threads oh my god
welcome to the future.
Also
>mfw 278 posts already.

>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
Pilot logic, everyone

>>34963807
> Clearly we need to take revenge for poor abused Lefty and Righty... once we GET THEM SOME FUCKING ICE FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Who's the best Frenchwitch?

>>34964248
Nunners is

>>34964248
Everyone likes Perrine

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>>34964272
da

>>34964339
Nobody.

>>34964091
Trude is best witch

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>>34964272
There is another.

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>>34964375
> not cupcake
Hannas are nice too

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You look up at Minna through watering eyes. “You see? Eye-talians. EYE. TALIANS.” You shudder with disgust. “They can't be helped! They're just awful like that! You should clap that little harpy in irons!”

Minna quirks a brow at you. “Irons? What, you want to throw her in the Tower of London?”

“MY GROIN, WOMAN! IT CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE!”

“It can't be that bad-”

“Wanna see the welt?” you ask, undoing your belt buckle.

“We've got Yoshika on hand, so don't think that's getting you out of your responsibilities,” she says with a wink. That successfully shuts down your brain stem for several seconds as you cinch your belt tight again while you still can.

From outside, another gunshot sounds, followed by a high-pitched yelp.

Minna sighs. “I really should go fetch her.” She slips her thighs out from under your head... and slips, and slips, and slips, those silky firm muscular legs seeming to go on forever, yet ending far too soon. She runs her fingers through your short hair, her fingernails scratching your scalp and sending a lovely shiver down your spine, then strides towards the door.

“Gonna go help her, or are you letting your girl face down the Italian Imbroglio alone?” Joe asks with a smirk.

>I'm wounded, mac. I ain't hobblin anywhere.
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

>>34964473
>>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?

Fucking Navy faggot. THEY'RE ALL FAGGOTS.

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>>34964473

I should clarify that hobbling after Minna is an option.

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
DIVISION OF LABOUR

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

Honestly Minna would have more luck than Young would.

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
Navy Faggots!

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

Time for your own sexy lap-pillow

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>>34964473
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
We should get the bars of soap and get revenge while were at it.

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

Minna wrangles zucchini better

due to tits probs

>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

>>34964473
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

>>34964437
Close 2nd for me. Convince me otherwise, I'm willing to change my opinions.

>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
Let's see how he talks after being shot by a training round in the groin at point-blank range.

>>34964473
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
THROW HIM IN TO THE BATHS!

>>34964473
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
She can fucking snap people in half with witchly super strength. She doesn't need some crippled gnome helping.

>>34964473
>hobble after that fine ass redhead

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>>34964562
Because love trumps mere lust.

We need witch versions of Maus and Merc.

This is non-negotiable.

>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

>>34964473
>“We've got Yoshika on hand, so don't think that's getting you out of your responsibilities.”

Is she referring to our nightly responsibilities to visit Pound Town?

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>>34964473
>hobble after minna