>>34792246
> The People’s Republic of China

>>34792246
> The People’s Republic of China

>>34792246
>> The People’s Republic of China

>>34792246
> The People’s Republic of China

>>34792246
>China
Little, stinky, fucking picture takers.

>>34792246
>Canada
I always tell people I'm Canadian when I travel abroad.

>>34792246
> The People’s Republic of China

>>34792395
Canadians are pussy. I have never lost a fight with a Canadian. Same with native Americans, pussies the lot of them.

Chinese people I would never fight, they have fucked up China flu and they might know Kung foo

>>34792511
kung flu?

File: china_passport.jpg (20 KB, 275x379)

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>>34792246
>>34792264
>>34792280
>>34792309
>>34792312
>>34792339

Amsterdam 5:04am GMT

…The Peoples Republic of China?”
You grunt a negative; you’ve been doing this job for far too long. She hands back your passport after before scanning you boarding pass.
“Oh… I’m sorry Sir, it seems your flight has been overbooked. Would you please wait here a moment?”
With a sigh of resignation, you take a seat on top of your luggage, pulling out your laptop and booting it up. One nice thing about this airport, the WiFi is free…

Opening your email client, you check to see if you have anything new from work as a…

> Computer Systems Engineer
> Defense Analyst
> Environmental Research Engineer
> Commercial Chef

>>34792583
>Exceedingly high class prostitute

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792583
This >>34792595

>>34792583
> Environmental Research Engineer

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792583
>Defense Analyst

>>34792583
Yoshanoia beef bowl CEO

>>34792595
Second

>>34792595
This sounds fun.
Call our self a "companion" though.

>>34792583
>> Defense Analyst

>>34792595
This. A high class prostitute is a call girl... maybe an escort

>>34792583
>>34792595
Is that a courtesan? Oh well, seconding.

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792595
Hell yes.

>>34792583
Defense analyst

>>34792583
>Six for High class hooker and Six for Defense Analyst (you cant spell Analyst without Anal)

>>34792595
Casting my vote.

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst
to defend motherland against capitalist scum

>>34792595
Better than being some sort of patriotic fuck

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst
probably pays better than hookers

>>34792761
>>34792737
Nice samefag there.

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792768
pot and kettle.

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst, disguised as >Exceedingly high class prostitute

>>34792781
Good job at admitting your crime there faggot.

>>34792583
> Defense Analyst

>>34792595
Second

>>34792595
Secondan

Just to be clear, you all know we're playing a man, right? I'm cool with it.

>>34792583
>> Defense Analyst

>>34792583
>Defense Analyst

File: Fuck you signature.gif (2 MB, 450x253)

2 MB GIF

>>34792846
>>34792823
>>34792804
>>34792781
>>34792761
>>34792737
Delicious samefagging.

>>34792595
>>34792583
High Class hooker wins. Writing.

>>34792595
>>34792617
>>34792638
>>34792652
>>34792666
>>34792702
>>34792729
>>34792753

>>34792879
hypocrite

>>34792915
Amsterdam 5:12am GMT

As usual you have a collection of emails from your clients, varying from being so formal its painful to the outright lewd. From the thirty messages you get, only five of them do you actually read, and of those only two catch your eye as possibles. One in Kuala Lumpur the other in Singapore. You suppose the latter is only a minor detour.
After a few minutes, the stewardess returns, a curious look on her face.
“Thank you for your patience; it appears you have been upgraded to a first class seat on a flight 20 minutes from now, a security colleague will be here to escort you to your gate soon”

With a minor look of surprise, you pack away your laptop, getting to your gate in 20 minutes is going to be a tall order in an airport this big.

File: Airplane.jpg (160 KB, 620x414)

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>>34793010
Within a few minutes the security guard arrives, gesturing for you to follow him. Whoever hired security for this place certainly didn't hire them for their looks.
He leads you through a doorway to the staff areas before picking up the pace, leading you behind the luggage conveyors before opening a door to the outside
“After you.”
You step out into the hot air outside, immediately being assaulted by the smell of burning jet fuel and burnt rubber, you see a large grey aircraft in front of you. Then, the world spins as you feel a impact to the back of your head. Your vision fades to black
“Ivan! Ie hkave told you, about this, knocking them out BEFORE they see the plane!"

>>34793072
North Atlantic 8:42am GMT
Your head hurts. A lot. More than that time a client tied you up, force fed you six litres of vodka and then rode you like a horse. A sudden jolt brings you back to reality. You open your eyes to what seems like a couple of soldiers in body armour snoozing in front of you. You only then notice that A, you’re also wearing body armour and B, your hands are zip tied together.
Before you can find out anything though, a booming, highly annoying voice lashes out.
“WAKEY WAKEY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP!”
Looking over, you see a man in a flight suit without insignia moving down the line of waking soldiers, cutting the zip ties that bind their hands. One man attempts to stand for a moment before the man in the flight suit punches him in the jaw, knocking him back out.
“I’ll make this short, you lucky people have been conscripted. What you need to know is that you're going to be pushed out of this plane in,” he pauses to look at his watch, “thirty seconds. On your belts you will find a stun rod. Your job is to find anything not human and hit them with it. Don’t understand? Good. Y’all have fun now”

>Panic
>Swear at him
>Offer him a blowjob

>>34793419
>>Panic

>>34793419
>Offer him a blowjob
test the stunrod on him when his guard/pants are down?

>>34793419
>>Swear at him

>>34793419
So, are we a girl or a boy?
I guess keep quiet though.,

>>34793533 We're a dude. See
>>34792246
>Mr. Bamford
>>34792583
>I’m sorry Sir

>>34793533
>“Oh… I’m sorry Sir, it seems your flight has been overbooked. Would you please wait here a moment?”
We're a dude.

>>34793533
In the first post we were called "MR. Bamford". Take that as you will.

>>34793419
>Swear at him

>>34793419
>Offer him a blowjob

>>34793581
>>34793574
>>34793573
OP could've changed it to fit the job, so I was just asking.
Bamford isn't exactly a Chinese name anyway.

>>34793419

>Swear at him

>>34793419
>Offer him a blowjob

Since you are a prostitute, a blowjob will give you XP, and maybe some drop.

>>34793599
Why wouldn't a man fit the job?

>>34793419
> Swear at him

>>34793419
>>34793514
>>34793584
>>34793612
>writing
>>34793662

Writing

File: Back O Plane.jpg (232 KB, 1000x786)

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>>34793419
: North Atlantic 8:42am GMT
“MotherFuckingCuntingAssholeI’llFuckYourEyeSocketsWithaFork” you yell at him as he reaches you to cut your restraints.
He smiles. “You, I like you. You keep the cuffs on.”
Ten seconds later, the rear of the plane opens and you feel yourself pulled out as the drag chute inflates.

In the cockpit:
“That’s the rookies tossed out. Quality is really down on this run,” the Crew Chief reports as he takes his seat.

“Hey, its hard to recruit people in secret. I mean, the last six teams have been progressively worse, we’re struggling to get bodies never mind trained bodies.”

“Suppose, What flight were they supposed to be on?”

“MH-17 Amsterdam to Kula Lumpa. Usual deal, Dave said it won't raise any questions when their bodies are not recovered.”

“Fantastic, certainly beats the whole shitstorm he caused last time; I mean stealing the plane too? What was he thinking?”

“Hell if I know, guess people didn't learn that they shouldn't fly Malaysian Airlines.”

Meanwhile, In free fall:
You free fall for a scant ten seconds before your chute inflates. Below you, a rocky island comes up to meet you.

>Gimme some D20’s for your landing.

>>34793837
Nat 20 inbound
Land with a roll and a back handspring

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>34793837

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>34793837

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>34793837
wait a fucking min...

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>34793837
Time to kick some presumably monsterish ass

>>34793929
Aren't our hands still zip tied?

>>34794030
>ziptied hands
>kick
i don't see the issue

>>34794030
We're also a prostitute.
I don't think we could seriously do fuckin' anything against monsters with only a stunstick, but it remains to be seen.

>>34794066
No. You could do absolutely unforgettable things with only a stunstick.

>>34794051
Why kick? With our profession we have a perfectly good limb to use that isn't our arms or legs. These monsters will never know what hit them.

>>34793870
>>34793882
>>34793900
>>34793929
North Atlantic 08:44 GMT

Surprisingly, one of the things you've learnt in your career is a sense of balance, mostly because some people get carried away with ropes. This proves invaluable as you see a rather nasty looking rock coming towards you. You throw your legs upwards just as it passes under you, bringing them down in time to come in for a running landing. Quickly jogging to a halt you look around you to see the other recruits are not so lucky.

At least three of them have fallen into the sea behind you. Guess the pilot was not particularly paying attention to crosswinds. Of these, you can only see two swimming to shore, the third there is no sign of.
On land it’s not much better, with one recruit lying on the ground, his leg bent at an impossible angle, while another is spitting bloody teeth after hitting his jaw into one of the many volcanic rocks that dot the landscape.
You quickly jog over to the recruit with the broken leg, pulling your chute behind you awkwardly. Dropping to your knee as you rifle his belongings for a knife to cut the zip ties.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN? HELP ME!”

>Help him
>Ignore him and keep searching for a knife
>Hit him with the prod

>>34794159
>Ignore him and keep searching for a knife
Could we even help him with our hands tied up?

>>34794159
>Help him
or at least try to

>>34794159
>PROD WITH THE PROD
Look for a GEP gun while we're at it.

>>34794159
>Ignore him and keep searching for a knife
Who cares about that loser, he's going to die regardless.

>>34794159
>keep searching for a knife
say to him you'll help in a second.
then
>Help him

>>34794159
>Ignore him and keep searching for a knife
"I am a little 'tied up' at the moment."

>>34794220
You. I like you

>>34794159
>Prod him a little

>>34794220
this

>>34794220
>GEP gun
A Genomics Education Partnership gun?
A Gauteng Enterprise Propeller gun?
A Giant Electric Pea gun?

My google foo is not helping me here.

>>34794203
>>34794225
>>34794269
>>34794251
>>34794159
North Atlantic 08:46 GMT

"Quiet you, Let me get my hands free then I can help you!"
At this, he stops struggling, groaning at the pain in his leg.
You dig through his pockets, which unlucky, don’t seem to contain much. Finally, you find a pair of blunt scissors in his medical kit, making short work of your bonds.
Hands free, you look down at his leg. It’s broken pretty bad and the bone is jutting through his shin. Before you can get started however, you hear a scream from behind you and you see one of the recruits who swam ashore fall, a gory crater in his chest. You’re taking fire.

> Drag Casualty to cover
> Treat here
>Leave him.

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>>34794359
>there are faggots on this board who don't know what a GEP gun is

>>34794387
>Leave him.

He's no good to us anyway, even if we do patch up his leg he'd still be dragging himself around at best. And it's not like we're part of a team here. Survival first!

>>34794387
>Leave him.
His moaning will draw fire! That is good for us!

>>34794387
> Drag Casualty to cover
at the very worst, he can be used as cover

>>34794387
>Write In[]
Take cover behind his corspe

>>34794431
>>34794472
North Atlantic: 08:47 GMT

You quickly scamper over to some cover, leaving him in the open as a fusillade of what looks to you like really badly infected spunk passes within inches of you. Dropping behind a rock you look back to see the wounded man trying to crawl to you and out of the line of fire.

He doesn’t get far, as a blast catches him in the back of his head, exploding his face messily over your lap.
> -1 Reputation, + 1 Survival Instinct
With your “comrade” dead, you peek over the rock you’re cowering behind. The other recruits like you have taken cover, with three of them fighting for a position behind a small boulder, the smaller one of them, quickly being pushed out of cover into the line of fire by the other two.

>Run out attempting to draw fire
>Throw rocks in the shooters direction to distract them
>Advance closer to the shooter while they are distracted from you.


>(Damn Kaluen makes this look easy...)

>>34794622
>Throw rocks in the shooters direction to distract them

>>34794622
>get closer while they're distracted
Take 'dem mofuckers out

>>34794622
>Advance closer to the shooter while they are distracted from you.
Can I have your gun?

>>34794675
>spunk gun
We already got one of those

>>34794622
>Advance closer to the shooter while they are distracted from you.
We've got a stunstick. Just don't get shot.

>>34794685
But we could get a BIGGER gun. Isn't that what everybody wants?

>>34794622
>Throw rocks in the shooters direction to distract them

>>34794663
>>34794675
>>34794692

As the shooters open up at the now exposed rookie, you rise, dashing forward a full twenty meters towards where you think the fire is coming from. Your dash quickly draws the shooters attention towards you however, they quickly stop shooting at the by now fleeing rookie and turn their fire onto you.

> Gimme some D20’s

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>34794740
woops

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>34794740
Fingers crossed

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>34794740
We are so fucking dead.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>34794740
You can't afford to touch this ass.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>34794740
Don't get shot!

>>34794740
Come on...someone other than us...

File: Sectoid.jpg (132 KB, 437x638)

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>>34794740
>>34794760
>>34794762

The shots wizz past your skull, spattering over the rocks behind you, whoever is shooting at you is close now, really close. Despite the range, their aim is still terrible, and you manage to make it to cover unscathed. Falling behind a rock, you see the rookie who was under fire before give you the thumbs up from behind another bolder, Apparently she mistook your advance for an honest attempt to save her ass. Neat.
> +1 reputation

You catch your breath before peeking over the rock, the shooter’s attention being drawn elsewhere to a trio who are trying to close on its position also. Finally you get a good look at it…

>Your reaction:

>What the fuck?
>Kinky, I had a client with a suit like that
> KILL IT WITH FIRE!

>>34794900
>What the fuck?

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>34794900
>KILL IT WITH FIRE!

FUKKEN XENOS

>>34794900
> KILL IT WITH FIRE!
or stones.

>>34794900
Ah shit, not again.

>>34794900
>Kinky, I had a client with a suit like that
then
> KILL IT WITH FIRE!

>>34794900
FIRRAH
Srsly though, stun-stick and then shoot it with its own gun

>>34794900
>KILL IT WITH EXPLOSIONS
A flamethrower wouldn't do much considering their HP regen.

>>34794900
You >>34794963
>>34794967
>>34794900
>>34794998

You gag with disgust at the beast; rage inside you building at the fact that such a disgusting thing was shooting green spunk at you. Only those with REALLY good offshore bank accounts get to do that to you! Well and that girl in London with the custard hose.

You vault over your cover, pulling your electric prod from your webbing as you close in, it turns to face you, raising its weapon and opening fire.

>D20’s Please

>>34794900
>Kinky, I had a client with a suit like that

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>34795098
ZAP MOTHERFUCKER

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>34795098
Suck my stick, bitch.

>>34795098
Zaaaaaaap!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>34795098

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>34795098
Give me strength O Lord

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>34795098

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>34795098

>>34795098>>34795171
>>34795125
>>34795127
>>34795171

It fires. It goes wide, catching a rookie behind you in the groin. That’s going to hurt like a weekend in Bangkok. Its second shot hits the rock infront of you, bouncing harmlessly into the sky, and then, you are upon it. Shoulder checking it to the ground, its arm mounted weapon cracks open on the rocks next to it, exploding with the force to sever its arm.
You grin as you bring your electric prod down on its skull, producing a cracking sound as it impacts, electrocuting the creature and causing it to screech like a banshee.

>Keep Hitting it
>Strangle it
>Violate it

>>34795298
>Violate it
Do you even have to ask?

>>34795298
>all of the above
Not like it'll be the first time. Shame about the gun though

>>34795298
>>Violate it

>>34795298
>KEEP PRODDING IT
YOU KNOW THE PROTOCOL.

>>34795331
>>34795314
This time HUMANITY is going to be doing the probing!

>>34795298
>Keep Hitting it
stop only when it stops... everything-ing

File: prod.jpg (10 KB, 120x200)

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>>34795314
>>34795328
>>34795331
>>34795337

With a perverse grin, you roll it over, bringing your prod in contact with its rear end. Pushing past what little resistance it keeps screeching as you drive it deep into its pelvis.
After a few seconds you’re not sure if it’s enjoying it, or dying. Possibly both, either way it’s twitching all over the place and you’re pretty sure it’s voided its bowls.
It’s at that point the female rookie who you “saved” comes up behind you.
>Its just another day at the office!
>I’m “interrogating” it?
>Want to have a go?

>>34795469
>Want to have a go?
Fun for the whole squad!

>>34795469
>Want to have a go?

>>34795516
Oh, and I forgot to say, try to pay careful attention to how the alien reacts to various stimuli. The information will be very useful once we start seducing the more powerful aliens.

>>34795469
>>Want to have a go?

>>34795545
>The information will be very useful once we start seducing the more powerful aliens.
Indeed. I second this notion.

>>34795469
>"A prod is the most silent way to eliminate aliens."

>>34795516
>>34795526
>>34795687
Can I?” She grins with puppy dog eyes.
“Go right ahead”

At that, she takes the prod off you and proceeds to push it a bit deeper. “TAKETHATYOURGREENSPUNKSHOOTINGASSHOLECUNTPOSPICLE!”

After a couple of minutes, you're pretty certain its passed out. She's still going at it though.

Judging from the lack of screams whatever has happened has finished, its only now that you can really look around.
The first thing you notice is that there are corpses everywhere, and what looks like a group of rookies putting the boots to an alien; medium style.
Besides that, there is what appears to be some sort of mangled disc at the edge of the island and that’s… it? Seriously the island is at most a hundred meters across.
With all the threats gone you sit down, contemplating your situation to the sounds of a Scottish Romantic love story behind you…

> Gather the rookies for planning?
> look for a way off the island?
> Complement the girl on her skills with phallic objects

>>34795830
"Hey girl, want a go before we gather the squad?"

>>34795830
> Gather the rookies for planning?
We've got experience as a Dominatrix, we're the natural choice for a leader.

>>34795830
>Complement the girl on her skills with phallic objects
I wonder if we've finally found a capable student?

>>34795830
> Gather the rookies for planning?
> Complement the girl on her skills with phallic objects

>>34795830
> Gather the rookies for planning?
we'll have to survive, can't survive without planning

>>34795830
Mangled disk... Please let it not be what I think.
>>34795874
Also this, but compliment first.

>>34795860
>10 minutes later
>"That'll be $125 american."
>"Whaaa?"

>>34795830
>>34795865
>>34795874
>>34795875
You call the other rookies over to you, from your area at least, there are about a dozen able bodied, with you only missing a guy in a wheelchair to have the prerequisite makeup for a politically correct kids cartoon.
“So… who here speaks English?” you ask the assembled troops, of them, most of them at least nod.
“Da, a little”
“Fuck you mate”
“Oui”
“I Speak American Chinaman”
Apparently, anally violating an alien makes you prime leadership material, now if only that worked outside of the S&M club.
Behind you, you hear some random gunfire from one of the alien weapons when a rookie gets too close to the mangled disc, quickly ending in swearing and one less limb.
“So… they told us to electrocute anything human… and since I don’t see a way off the island, I figure that storming that thing is the only option, agreed?”

>D20’s for persuasion check!

>>34796092
>anything not human

> I should cut back on the Port.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>34796092
>“I Speak American Chinaman”
Hah.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>34796092
Dissenters will be poked.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>34796092
>oui
et merde

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>34796092

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>34796092

I'm on my phone right now so can't play but I wanted to say this is awesome

>>34796092
>>34796135
>>34796138
>>34796153
>>34796164

They look at you. They look at the girl still violating the creature behind you. There is a moment of them thinking “which am I more afraid of”, Most of them pick you. Funny, people being scared of a little Asian guy…
“Da, That is logical” The big one at the back states. Looking at him, He’s actually huge, somewhere between brick shithouse and being related to a bear.
Between you, and the wall of meat behind them, you make quite a convincing case, of the twelve, six of them agree to follow you, which is nice.
Your currently uphill from the crumpled disc, it looks like there are a pair of aliens of the same type that you introduced to your “services” inside. The disc dug a deep trench into the hillside as it crashed, putting a central deadzone between you and it.
It looks like the only way your going to get across is by having someone draw the fire…

> Who do you send?

> The Big Russian
>English Guy
>Frenchie
>The American
>Anal Violation Girl

>>34796476
Frenchie, he'll be great at running.

>>34796476
>Frenchie
Is this even a question?

Thank the english guy for being brave enough to volunteer.

>>34796476
Americans are good at running and winning wars that way.

>>34796476
Who is the smallest target?

>>34796476
>Frenchie
we should ask their name at some point

>>34796551
You. Actually.
Followed by Anal Violation girl.

>>34796553
Hahahahahaha!

>>34796476
What if we all just bum rush them, zigzagging? They probably won't be able to hit everyone, and we wouldn't look like a selfish dick.

File: UFO crash.png (145 KB, 512x256)

145 KB PNG

>>34796476
>>34796522
>>34796530
>>34796553

“Frenchie! Your up!” You shout, calling him over.
“Oui?”
“We need you to draw fire so the rest of us can close, they seem pretty awful shots, buy hey, they might get lucky”
“Merde!”
“that’s a yes?” You ask, a confused look on your face
“Oui”

At that, he starts running towards the disc, screaming at them in French. From what little French you know, you *think* he is saying something along the lines of “I will fuck your mother with a hamster”. Or he could be ordering a coffee, your not quite sure.

Frenchie quicky draws a reaction from the two aliens in the crashed disc, with fire going everywhere but actually at him. Taking this as your signal, you and the rest of the crew follow the Russian towards tear in the disc’s side.
Reaching it, you see your out of view of the aliens inside the ship, and from the looks of it, Frenchie is having a whale of the time, between yelling at the aliens and throwing rocks, he’s actually pretty good at avoiding the fast moving projectiles.
Gathering the rest of your squad around, you plot out the next part.

> Do you

> A. Breach and clear behind the Russian, hoping to catch them while Frenchie keeps them busy.

>>34796759
>B
> B. Try to fit you and Anal Violation girl into the tear in the UFO’s side so you can take them from the rear?

>>34796759
> B. Try to fit you and Anal Violation girl into the tear in the UFO’s side so you can take them from the rear?

>>34796786
>B
usually, you try to keep the votes in a same post

>>34796759
Why not
>C. Split into two teams and try to do both at once.
A little insurance never hurt anyone. Except Frenchie, maybe.

>>34796759
> B. Try to fit you and Anal Violation girl into the tear in the UFO’s side so you can take them from the rear?

>>34796830
This, if possible. On Anal Violation girl's team of course.

>>34796759
>>34796816
>>34796824
>>34796835


Acting quickly before Frenchie has his face melted off, you signal to the Russian to give you and the girl a boost into the tear in the UFO’s side. Climbing inside, its dark, covered in wires, and smells something burnt latex. Crawling forward, you hear the girl giggle as she’s manhandled into the hole.
After a few meters, you start to hear that the gunfire from the aliens is slacking off, apparently Frenchie is not entertaining enough.

Ahead of you is what looks like some sort of glowing cylinder surrounded by pipes, you stop to examine it, only for the girl behind you to squeeze your left buttock.

“Hey speed up slow poke!” She calls from behind you as you keenly remember the glee with which she last used an electric prod.
> Keep Crawling?
> Zap the Cylinder?

>>34796998
>Keep Crawling?

>>34796998
"Keep doing that and I'll go as fast as you want."

>>34796998
> Keep Crawling?
let's not zap potentially explosive unknown things

>>34797088
"If you see anything that's not human, zap it!" I believe our instructions were.

>>34797054
>>34797077
>>34797088

"Keep doing that and I'll go as fast as you want." You call back to her as you bypass the glowing cylinder, better not touch anything that may or may not be explosive.

“So what is your name anyways?” You ask over your shoulder.

“Are you seriously flirting with me while stuck in a vent after being kidnapped and forced to fight aliens?” she snaps back her hand tightening
.
“Are you seriously feeling my ass up?”

“Oh so I am, Names Heather… now back to work?”

Crawling forward, you feel the room start to vibrate and a roar overhead like distant thunder. The vibrations increase as the sound gets closer. And then the duct gives way.
>Fuck
>Crap
>I REGRET NOTHING!
>other?

>>34797192
>I REGRET NOTHING!

>>34797192
>I REGRET NOTHING!

>>34797192
>I REGRET NOTHING!

>>34797273
>>34797300
>>34797419

“I REGRET NOTHING!” You cry as the duct gives way, ontop of one of the aliens. Producing a rather disgusting squishy noise and an impressive amount of green fluid. Following your spectacular entry, Heather follows you down, landing on top of you while knocking the wind out of you entirely.
The other Alien, by this point has reacted to the unexpected intrusion raising his weapon at you. This would have helped, but for the fact that the Russian took the sound of your “dynamic entry” as his que to make his entrance.
Somehow, an alien with a weapon pointed at you is just not as scary when 300ibs of seriously pissed off Russian is standing behind it.
> D20’s for the Russian’s attempts at murder.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>34797518
do it Zangief

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>34797518
"KILLLLLLL THE FUUUUUUCKER"

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>34797518
I hope I roll a 1

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>34797518
1get

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>34797550
>>34797555
>>34797518
>>34797518

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>34797518
KILL IT FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!

>>34797550
Urrrrraaaa!!!

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>>34797550
What you witness you think couldn't really be called “unarmed combat”. Probably the because you're pretty sure the Russian's use of his hands constituted a war crime. His first blow to the alien tears its head clean off its shoulders, launching it outside of the wrecked disc at high velocity. The headless corpse, its neck fountaining green fluid to the already messy interior, collapses, its weapon shattering into fragments as it hits the ground.

You're all staring at the Russian’s green goo soaked face, a look of utter satisfaction on his face, when you hear metallic footsteps as someone enters.

“Did someone lose a head?” calls what appears to be a teenage girl, perhaps no more than 15 years old, with blond hair and wearing some sort of powered exoskeleton, clutching the detached head of the alien.

“Da, that is mine” The Russian speaks up before she tosses it to him.

“Also, what happened the prisoner? Did Dave get here already?”

You pipe up at this, “Who’s Dave?”

“Oh, you must be the new guys. I’m Giltinė. Welcome to XCOM!”

> THREAD 1 END

> I'll be hanging around for a bit for feedback/Q&A about me and Kaulen etc

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>34797912
>perhaps no more than 15 years old
Dropped. Loli is dead.

I thought this was a 9/11 quest for a moment.

>>34797912
well, that was a fun ride, thanks for running
don't forget to archive if that hasn't been done already

>>34797961
i'm pretty sure she's more like 13 than 15, but i'm probably wrong what's truly important is if she's still a loli at heart

>>34798032
Cheers. its my first quest thread. Ive just been the ideas monkey till now.

Well LSQ was based in 2012, so we had to time it to the present day...

>>34797912
Fun thread, thanks for running. Is Kaleun your idea monkey this time?

>>34798108
Not really. He's mostly just proofreading for this one and for any information i need on LSQ that i forgot.

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>>34797912
>“Oh, you must be the new guys. I’m Giltinė. Welcome to XCOM!”
>mfw

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>34797912
This twist was so unexpected that i knew whats going on by >>34793419

>>34798108
>Is Kaleun your idea monkey this time?
>Implying I can have fun ideas

oh yeah, are you going to start a twitter for the quest or rely on kalerun's?

>>34798525
He appears to have fallen asleep.
I'm assuming he intends to get one if this picks up properly. For now, the next thread will be announced via my twitter, @Loli_Kaleun

>>34797912
Just caught up on my fone, thanks for the thread

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>Taking Sectoids at a UFO crash with stun batons

Well thank goodness the Outsider was nowhere to be found--I doubt that piddly stun batons could do much to something wielding a Plasma Carbine.

I just hope we rush beam weapons, then Skeleton Armor right afterwards. This war's gonna get messy really quickly if this version of XCOM's idea of a recruitment drive is kidnapping civvies and dropping them on UFO crash sites.

>>34801683
>Implying this isn't long war

>>34801683
I think we did a lot better than the normal rookies from XCOM really.

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>>34801719

>Long War

>Wanting to take on Supply Barges IN FUCKING APRIL
>Wanting to take on Chryssalids with Run & Gun and Lightning Reflexes
>Wanting to fight Outsiders that never stop regenerating HP until killed
>Wanting to take on Sectopod and Chryssalid mini-bosses

Surely Dent isn't that sadistic, is he?

>>34801769
They dropped a fucking shit ton of rookies, seemingly a lot more than even the old games allowed, and of all those only 6 actually entered the craft. So yeah pretty damn good operation, 10/10 rookies would use as meatwalls again.

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>"Welcome to XCOM!”
>mfw

I like where this is going.

>>34802133
I don't know, that sounds pretty Fun™