>>34711005
>Study, like a good boy would do

>>34711005
>I'm going to sleep, fuck math class

I was about to go to bed Chuckles you fuck, now I'm either going to miss half the quest or run out of coffee.

>>34711005
>I'm going to sleep, fuck math class

Math is mad easy, ya know?

>>34711005
>I'm going to sleep, fuck math class.

Literally fuck math. Right in the parabola.

>>34711123
>>34711156
>>34711232
The teachers droning solidified into actual words for a few clear moments as I focus my senses long enough to check the clock. 2:55.

“Now as I told you all this is my last day, I will miss you all a lot, but my allergies are getting to be so unbearable livin’ here that I simply have to move.”

Wait what? When was this announced? I look around discreetly. All the kids in class that actually pay attention are looking sad, most likely in an attempt to spare his feelings and preserve us from a longer speech, at least I hope so. Shit, no one tells me anything. I slap a dutifully sad expression on my face and feel the slip of my senses going out of focus again. Too much effort. Back too pseudo sleep for the remaining minutes of class.

On the way out he tries to shake peoples hand, a few give half hearted wags out of decency, others awkwardly ignore him and brush past.

This process only slows everyone down as they file out. This means both aisles are stuffed and I can’t leave my desk for quite some time.

Eventually everyone else shuffles through and I have to walk past him. I slap an exceedingly masculine palm into his hand and shake firmly.

>>34711156
>>34711232
Mathematical

File: chie.jpg (42 KB, 655x220)

42 KB JPG

>>34711299
Well that or I place my limp grip in his and allow him to half tear my joints free as he starts to really lose composure. I hurry off before I get dragged into an emotional/allergic breakdown.

“Emotions. Do. Not. Compute.” I whisper to myself as I withdraw coolly.

Oh shocking, Claire is waiting outside for me, at the edge of school property, characteristically trying her hardest to distance herself from learning at all times. “Sup dork?” she says in greeting as I drift out onto the path home. She falls in pace easily.

“Apparently my teacher’s quitting.” I tell her

“Yeah, everyone knew that.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah but you don’t know anything.”

I swing my head over to face her. “What’s seven times eight?”

This occupied her for a horridly long time. “49?” she asks.

I just respond with an amused snort before she drives the back of her fist into my stomach.

Again being the masculine giant I am her tiny fist doesn’t even break my third layer of abdominal muscles.

I spent a minute or two hiding my wheezing but keep up the walk, I don’t think she meant for it to hurt that much, it probably wouldn't on most people.

>Wow suck a dick
>So what're we doing tonight then?
>How'd tryouts go ya dyke?

>>34711299
I roll to shake his hand

>>34711402
>So what're we doing tonight then?

>>34711402
>so what're we doing tonight then?

>>34711402
>>How'd tryouts go ya dyke?

>>34711402
>Wow, suck a dick

Now I know what we're doing tonight

>>34711402
>How'd tryouts go ya dyke?
What where you trying out again?

>>34711440
>>34711445
"So what are we doing tonight then? The same thing we do every night?"

She just gives me a shit eating grin "So I'm guessing you know nothing about that open house tonight?”

“How do you know about an open house? We both have the same amount of friends. That being one.”

“Yeah but I sit next to the fucking cheerleaders, not uber nerd and his quasi harem.”

“I don’t think you know what quasi means.”

She shushes me. “Anyways, it’s at Chad’s place, starts at five. Wanna go and stand in a corner n’ make fun of everyone else for being degenerates?

“You mean what we do on the internet, only with shittier music and the potential for me to get beat bloody.” Chad Reeves was known for not liking me. I choose to assume it’s some sort of classic brains versus brawn struggle, but it’s really that we’re both just dicks.

“Yeah. Highschool fun!”

Still sounds like a better way to spend a Saturday night in comparison to spending another Friday night explaining to my parent's why I'm not going out with friends.

>Sure I guess
>Fuck that
>Why do you care about parties suddenly?

>>34711651
way to backspace there chuckles

>>34711651
>>Sure I guess
Fuck it way not.

>>34711651
>Sure I guess
Yeah, let's go. Even parties need background characters

>>34711651
>Fuck that
Go to library and find books on occult

>>34711651
>Sure I guess

>>34711651
>Fuck that
"Come back to mine instead. We can, err, play video games or something"

>>34711651
>Why do you care about parties suddenly?

>>34711651
>Fuck that

>>34711651
Sure I guess

>>34711651
>Sure, I guess

Come on now. This has the potential of some classic teen wolf shit were we go into a closet and something crazy happens.

>>34711651
>Sure I guess

>>34711807
>>34711691
>>34711708
>>34711724
>>34711781
"Sure I guess."

“Neat.”

“This is just an excuse for you to try and fuck some girl isn’t it?” I ask. “Maybe.... that chick with the pink hair? That your thing? Huh?” I elbow her in the ribs.

She shoves me on the shoulder. Hard. I land in a pile of green waste. A stick pushes itself into the soft liquid membrane of my eyeball and on into my brain, Claire starts weeping over my corpse, declaring her secret years long repressed love for me.

She offers me a hand up and I take it, wincing as I wipe the blood from what seems to be a tiny scratch under my left eye. “Yeah it is.” She drops me as I'm rolling forward onto my heels and I fall back into the pile. “I’m crippled, you have crippled me. My legs are broken....” I shake a hand up at her “Help?” No hands are forthcoming this time so I struggle free of the pile myself, brushing loose plant off me as we continue our walk.

I try to continue conversation but she only replies with, “No. I'm pouting.”

“It’s not as cute when you do that in real life as it is in Bridget Jone’s Period Cramps.” I point out, prodding her closer cheek, a tiny streak of blood being left by my finger. I bring a finger back up to the cut, it’s still bleeding. Wuh oh.

“No chance you’ve got band aids in that bag is there?” more silence. “Or, I guess, just keep pouting.” There’s more blood now.

>C'mon be the sexy nurse
>MAN UP, I CAN TAKE THIS
>This might be actually serious

>>34711881
>C'mon be the sexy nurse

>>34711881
>This might be actually serious

Don't Panic.Panic

>>34711881
>c'mon be the sexy nurse

>>34711881
>This might be actually serious

>>34711881
>This might be actually serious
I'm sorry, random background character. Time to pull you to the forefront of stardom. And by stardom, I mean pain.

>>34711881
>>MAN UP, I CAN TAKE THIS
Lets get a nice scar. That way we can become a foreground character

>>34711881
sexy nurse time

>>34711881
sexy nurse a go

>>34711949
>>34711988
>>34712041
>>34712073
. “Come on, don’t you wanna play the sexy nurse, treating the heroes wounds.”
She snorts at that and relents, pout gone in a flash, she may be dumb, but at least she doesn’t hold a grudge. “Alright ya wuss. Let me see.” She pulls me over by my shirt and grabs my chin roughly. “Yeah I got nothin’ on me for that. Let’s head over to yours, so I can sew your battle scars, oh brave soldier man.”
It’s only 3:30, so no doubt someone else is home, as I stealthily slip the door open. This is all ruined by her clomping in and dumping her bag in the doorway. “I hate you.” I whisper as we head to the kitchen, keeping an ear out for the sounds of rousing from the rest of the house.

I retrieve iodine and band aids from the top shelf of the pantry. “Why don’t you people keep this junk in the bathroom? Freaks.” She asks as I make more shushing gestures and dump the stuff on the bench, making another swipe at the blood still coming from the cut.

“OK. Hop up on the counter you pansy.” I obey and she pours some iodine on a tissue. “If you flinch I’m gonna laugh at you.” She tells me, closing an eye and poking the tip of her tongue through her teeth, same face she pulls when she’s lining up a goal. She’s bringing it slowly to my face, tauntingly slow. “And maybe jab you in the eye.”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK. I scrunch my face in silent agony, but she cleans it quickly.

“Jesus, you’re a woman.” She deftly peels a bandaid and slaps it over the cut. “Wear that for a few days and you’ll be fine,” she adds mushing my cheeks together so my face deforms into a fish mouth.

>>34712133

I adopt a falsetto and bat my eyelashes, “Oh no, how will I impress the boys at the party now. Tee hee hee.” Claire smirks at something over my shoulder.

Of course this was the moment my mother walks into the room.

She stands frozen in the entrance to the hallway, her hair tussled, dropping her brush. Even her clothes look depressed at what she just heard, the waist cordy thing around her waist drooping loosely as she drops it.

In a tiny voice I whisper. “You could have stopped me.” She winks cheerfully. Sliding off the bench I try to defend myself.

>What say?

>>34712167
>"It was a joke. I'm not into guys."

>>34712167
>What say?
"THIS IS WHO I AM, MOM! DEAL WITH IT! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL!"
Then hair whip and retreat into room with girl friend

>>34712167
"I'm not gay, I swear!"

>>34712167
That was just terrible timing on your part mother, you could have walked in when she was sucking my dick

>>34712167
"I was joking! I'm totally straight! Actually me and Claire are straight together right?

>>34712167
"Let me introduce you to my new boyfriend"
Put arm over Claire's shoulder.

>>34712167
"It's all claires fault! SHE WAS THE ONLY WOMAN I COULD EVER LOVE!"

>>34712264
This is good

>>34712167
>>34712264
I second this.

>>34712243
this but a bit more casual and replacing "sucking my dick" with something lewd and not so dirty, shes our mom after all.

>>34712167
>>34712264
Okay, this is breddy gud

>>34712243
You obviously want to get bitch slapped by mom

>>34712264
>>34712296
>>34712302
"Let me introduce you to my new boyfriend, Clarence" I say, throwing an arm over Claires' shoulder.

She elbows me in the gut, purposefully hard, I keel over, banging my chin on the counter in the process. I let out a paind groan as I collapse to the floor.

I hear my mothers' heels click back into the hallway, not a word spoken. "She still worries about you liking cock huh?" Claire asks, crouching beside my curled form.

"She threw out the families copy of Brokeback Mountain a little while ago." I tell her, gritting my teeth as I stand.

"Pffft, C'mon, let's go plany your outfit for the party, if I leave you to do it, you'll come in your normal clothes.

>What's wrong with my normal clothes?
>I wear what I want
>Fine whatever
>Other

>>34712434
>>What's wrong with my normal clothes?
Is Claire implying we aren't the height of high school fashion?

>>34712434
>>What's wrong with my normal clothes?

They are for perfectly normal people, such as myself. Perfectly normal. As I should be. Normal... Yes.

>>34712434
"You mean I can't go naked?"

>>34712434
>What's wrong with my normal clothes?
This bitch.

>>34712434
>family's copy of Brokeback Mountain
Something is queer with this family and it sure as hell isn't a cowboy.

>>34712434
>Other

"You talkimg shit bout my style? You wear that same outfit everyday"

>>34712434
Damn, we are such a push over. We need a training montage and 80s music.

But OP, the protagonist always sits in the second-to-last row, by the window.
Nobody important ever sits by the door.

I think the joke is that everyone but the MC is a protagonist

>>34712562
So she's a main character who's beating us around with super strength?

>>34712605
Yes, his sarcastic inner narrative wasn't actually sarcastic

>>34712647
That'd be pretty damn cool.

>>34712465
>>34712473
>>34712476
"What's wrong with my normal clothes?" I ask, as she shoulders my door open, knocking over a pile of carefully stacked cans.

"I know how you dress, that's what's wrong with it." She swings my wardrobe open, revealing my rows of hoodies and Tshirts emblazoned with jokes. "Is everything you own nerd shit?"

"Essentially."

"And this is why girls dont talk to you."

>You're a girl
>Every girl at our school is a skank
>I'm too busy studying

>>34712687
>I'm too busy studying

>>34712687
>Stop harassing me!

>>34712687
>>Every girl at our school is a skank
And they're attracted to the same like four people

>>34712687
>you're a girl

>>34712687
>You're a girl

Is she not aware of this? Must we show her our manliness?

File: 1405313195565.png (162 KB, 673x706)

162 KB PNG

So, is this about becoming a main character or just the life of a background character?

>>34712687

>You're a girl
>You are a girl right?

>>34712758
thats for you to decide gee i wonder which you guys will pick
>>34712738
>>34712743
>>34712768
"You're a girl." I point out.

She just shushes me again, "I don't count." She dumps another load of my clothes out onto the floor.

“You know I have to clean all this shit up, right?” I ask as she throws another load of socks and underwear onto the floor.

She leans over and pinches my cheek, “Aw, diddums,” She coos. “Hey, this isn’t terrible.”

She flings my one collared and buttoned shirt at me, vaguely flowery designs trace down it, an unfortunate gift. I was hoping she wouldn’t find it buried under that much underwear.

“You get that ironed, I’m gonna go home and change,” she instructs, patting me on the cheek condescendingly.

I show her out, half considering ditching the shirt for my usual comfy hoody. If I do that she will more than likely kick my shit in.

>I wear what I want
>I mean, girls like flowers right?

>>34712895
>>I wear what I want

>>34712895
>I mean, girls like flowers right?
T-Tiem to activate the swag, r-right?

>>34712895
>>I mean, girls like flowers right?

>>34712895
>>I mean, girls like flowers right?
The dyke probably knows what she's talking about

>>34712895
>I mean, girls like flowers right?
Time to get /fa/shionable anons.

>>34712895
>I mean, girls like flowers right?

>>34712895
>>34712953
Yes, we should get online and browse /fa/ right now for how to be cool and hip and all that nonsense

>>34712895

>I mean, girls like flowers right?
>It isn't like she is slowly trying to turn me into a crossdressing buttslut right?

>>34712895
>I mean, girls like flowers right?

I'm sorry Wrenloft, the wheels of fate are turning. At least, let's not bitch on the bottoms. Black jeans. Or Khaki pants.

You know what if the parents think this dude is gay why not embrace it?
Become Fabulous.

>>34712895
>I wear what I want
Be a man.

>>34713146
With all the force of a great typhoon?

>>34712926
>>34712928
>>34712952
>>34712953
>>34712965
>>34712998
>>34713005
I ask mum to iron the shirt for me, but she seems to not hear me somehow, K-Drama set to max volume.

"Fine, fuck you then." I mutter, wandering off to do so myself.

After an hour or so, I look like my best parody of a /fa/ggot, I inexpertly pull at my hair, styled with stolen mousse from my brothers shelf, creases still quite evident in the shirt.

I step out the front door. Claire meets me at the curb. “I feel way to queer eye for the suburbanite at the moment.” I say as she insists on attacking my hair with a comb before we leave.

“No way, chicks dig it.”

“You don’t know what chicks dig. It’s why you’re single too.”

She aggressively pulls at a knot. Bitch. “Why does your family let you leave the house like this?”

“Doesn’t care, cos I'm a lost cause, doesn’t care and doesn’t care.” I say extending a finger for each reason and a respective family member. She titters in false sympathy. “It’s weird seeing you in girls’ clothes.” I add as we start walking.

“I always wear girl clothes.”

“I mean real girl clothes.” I emphasize my point with a tug on the hem of her vividly pink skirt. It doesn’t bother her too much given she’s wearing leggings underneath; my hand is only lightly slapped away. She doesn’t even follow up with a dead arm this time. I’ve made progress with the heathen.

As we get closer to the party an obnoxious electronic bass rift drifts into the street intermixed with commands to drop said bass, the neighbours are drifting sullen looks at Chad’s house from their carports, eagerly waiting for the time they can call the cops for a noise complaint.

“Why are we going to this again?” I ask.

>>34713171
“Because we have to be sociable.” She explains.

“I repeat. Why are we going to this thing?”

With a sigh she, gives up the pretense, “Cos Ms Gutla said she’s ‘worried for my development as a young lady’.” The name of the staff councillor sends an awkward shudder down my spine. “I’m pretty sure she has a plant here to make sure I actually talk to people.”

“I thought we were gonna sit in the corner and make fun of people.”

“We will, but I need this to get her off my case, so she doesn’t think I'm training to join a street gang or something.”

“I could see that.”

“Yeah, well, you should watch out too. She’s dropping hints that she thinks you’ll go on a school shooting, sorry, I mean ‘that she’s concerned about your isolationist attitude’.”

“It would help if we stop making jokes about all those guys who go on school shootings.”

“Well.... when people can hear at least. Now come on, pretend these are people you like.” I stretch an intentionally pained smile at her. I get a 'that’s the spirit' pat on the back. “Good boy.” And we dive into a sea of adolescence.

>Stick with Claire
>Hide in a room for a few hours
>Try and hit on the cheerleaders
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit

>>34713260
>Stick with Clare

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit

>>34713260
>Stick with Claire

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit
And if that don't work
>Go find Claire

>>34713260
>>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit
You know 1-in-8 people uncontrollably draw dicks

>>34713260
>>Stick with Claire

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit

>>34713260
>Stick with Claire

>>34713260
>Stick with Clare

She brought us here she has to deal with us.

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit
We need to get gud

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit
Dick Drawer

>>34713260
>>Stick with Claire

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit

>>34713260
>Stick with Claire
First Girl. Tomboyish. I'm in

>>34713260
We have established that clare may have super strength.

Stick with Clare!

>>34713260
>Try and hit on that girl who's always drawing shit
tied 8 to 8

>>34713260
>Stick with Claire

>>34713367 it almost feels like we are the MC!

Do we know if Claire is actually gay or do we just like to make that joke?

>Try and hit on the cheerleaders
It's a numbers game, someone will eventually say yes

I would say samefag but being awkward nerdy being dragged into a party would definitely draw people to this quest.

>>34713260

>Stick with Claire

>>34713260
Oh hell everyones coming out of the wood work.
Clare!

>>34713260
>stick with Claire

>>34713423
Fairly certain it was just us ribbing on her. If not, we'll find out soon enough

>>34713423
She sounds like she needs the D or has crazy daddy issues.

>>34713469
We can be her Crazy Daddy Issue.

>>34712133
Where's our chuuni eyepatch?

>>34713481
Yeah, but we can't handle a "loose cannon" like her without maning up. We are pretty pathetic.

>>34713423
Doesn't matter. If she is, we'll just roll to turn her straight.

>>34713517
Hey we're manning up. We also got her to play our sexy nurse. We're making progress.

>>34713528
Is this Bizarro Pokemang?

>>34713546
I have abosolutely no clue what youre referring to

>>34713286
>>34713289
>>34713298
>>34713329
>>34713333
>>34713356
>>34713367
>>34713377
>>34713412
>>34713428
>>34713444
It’s been an hour and I’ve managed to avoid Chad, or having to talk to anyone alone. I drift behind Claire as she pretends to enjoy gossiping with girls I don’t know the name of, offering completely necessary and sincere insight into situations.

“I’m just not sure I'm ready Claire....” A girl I think is called Stacy admits through glazed eyes.

“Tell him to fuck off then.” I offer, she attempts to give me a cool gaze, but she’s swaying on her feet.

“Maybe you should go lie down for a bit Shannon.” Claire counteroffers, Shannon (I was close) nods and totters off to the couch, only stumbling a little.

Claire turns to me “Alright, I have to pee. All you have to do is stand still and not get beat up. Can you do that?”

“Probably not.” She leaves.

My feet hurt from being stepped on and I swear to Allah this never ending bass line is giving me a migraine. Ten out of ten, would party again. One of the cheerleaders, fucked if I know which, is walking in my direction. If I talk to her I could potentially save what little social status I have left.

I stay where I am.

Unfortunately, the universe hates me. A mirthful partygoers’ sudden attempt at dancing shoves the girl into me as she’s walking past.

If I was smooth I would have caught her, like some slick superspy, hand at her waist. Instead I extend both hands and wince in preparation. She knocks me down with her. I think my shoe’s digging into her kidney.

“Uhhhh. Hey,” I say as she rolls off. She doesn’t acknowledge me, a hand cupping her back in pain. “That, um, was pretty wacky, huh?” I notice her fake tan has smeared where her arms caught her fall.

“Uh huh. Sure. Whatever” Her vacant cheerleader eyes barely register my presence.

That was some unprecedented samefag on both sides.

Like, damn.

But it’s OK. I'm saved from this awkward conversation. By the arrival of Chad and his squad of dudebros. Well, bully for me.

“Sup cunt?” he asks. “Don’t remember your fuckin’ invite.”

“It’s open house.” I point out

“Cunt, mate , listen mate, see I think theres too many people at the moment, gotta cut the numbers, y’know save the booze, yeah?” a nasty smile across his face as he thinks he’s outsmarted me.

“I’m not drinking.” I show him my plastic cup of water, remarkably still holding some after the tumble.

His eyes twinkle past the drunken glaze as he sees a chance. “FAGGOT, YEW BIN DRINKIN MI FUCKIN PARENTS VODKA?” he slaps the cup out of my hand. Oh no. He’s popping knuckles. Abort, abort, I need backup, everyone’s gone silent, content to watch.

Where’s the fucking staff plant when they’re needed. Or Claire for Christ’s sake.
He’s advancing, I'm backing away. “I CAN’T REPLACE THAT SHIT, YOUR GONE GIVE IT BACK, CUNT.”

I hit a wall. Two of his matecunts pin me and Chad unleashes a power swing into my gut. I’m released and drop to the floor. Hunched over my stomach, retching.

The matecunt’s step back as chants of ‘FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!’ start up. How is this a fight? I'm not sure what’s going to come up first, the water or blood.

Over the bass I hear the sound of flats hitting the hardwood. Claire hits Chad from behind like a truck, slamming him into the wall jaw first and pulling his arm into a shoulder lock. “Fuck! OFF! Chad!” She yells before throwing him back to his friends. His thugs advance on Claire, but are'nt attacking; I wouldn’t, not with that look in her eye.

Chad, still lying on his arse, yells “Kill the faggots!”

Then one attacks, Claire dives under a drunken punch and elbows him in the stomach, knocking him over. Another one is coming at her but a colossal roar shakes the house, sounds like another monster, big one if the noise is anything to judge by.

>What do?

>>34713639
Grab Claire, exit stage left

>>34713296
and 7 in 8 people are lying cunts

>>34713639
Set fire to the parents' vodka and then the house.

>>34713639
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Side character time.

>>34713639
Time to fuck-off, grab Claire and leave

>>34713639
Remember
>Eyes, Nose, Balls and Knees

>>34713639
Call 911, get their parents arrested for letting minors drink.

>>34713639
Scream Godzirra! Grab clare and head for an exit not currently being stormed by stupid kids.

>>34713677
This.

>>34713639
>a colossal roar shakes the house, sounds like another monster, big one if the noise is anything to judge by.
Oh right this is manga land, get Claire and leave

>>34713729
Testicle punch then run.

>>34713639
Grab your spirit sword and go into supermode!

>>34713707
I opt for this.

Perhaps complain to Claire that this is her fault for dragging you here, and then leaving you alone. Typically side character distracting banter.

>>34713639
DODGE!

Make sure they miss and hit a valuable vase, or something.

>>34713707
>>34713799
Well this is the most in character thing to do, I'll also go with this.

>>34713677
This, get the fuck out of there.

>>34713799
This.

>>34713639
>>34713677
Sounds good

>>34713639
>grab Claire
>bolt

>>34713741
>>34713719
>>34713677
>>34713884
>>34713837
Everyone knows the drill by this point, rapidly streaming for exits, calls of "Kool party m8" and "Cheers Chad, ya legend."

Claire stoops to pull me up, "I'm peeing red for a week." I squeak.

"He didn't even hit your kidneys." She points out.

"Sh."

Chad’s smirking at me as we leave, the houses' armour plating slamming shut behind us, his blood lust sated apparently. A text message comes from my sister ‘mum wants you home nerd.’

Claire half carries me on the route home. Giant footsteps sounding louder and more life threatening behind us.

Sheen’s robot lands in the park beside us, easily six stories tall. It turns its head to us and a PA system screeches in his annoying panic voice “GET IN, it’ll be safer inside!” A mechanized hand the size of a shed extends towards us. We keep shuffling, my house is just two streets away. “HEY!” the whiny voice yells after us. The monster pile drives the robot as we walk on, a girlish scream of pain coming through the speakers. A red robot tackles the thing off Sheen’s purple one. Backup, I think the red one is the bitchier of the two girls.

“Safer inside huh?” I question. “I think I can walk on my own now.” I take my arm off her shoulder and we finish the walk home, mostly steadily, even manage not to throw up on the way. A section of the houses armouring folds open as I press my key into the slot. When we walk inside I poke my head into the living room. “Hey I’m back.” Mums still watching terrible K-dramas, dad’s made it to the sports section.

>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.
>Fuck off Claire
>Other

>>34713918
>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.
Claire is best and only girl for us. I want her to step on us, sexually.

>>34713918
>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.
Thanks for the save, nig

>>34713918
>>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.

>>34713918
>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn't be wandering around at the moment.

>>34713918
>>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.
Yes?
Super cool

>>34713918
>>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.

Based Clare putting up with our apparently bitch ass.

>>34713918
>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.

>>34713918
>>Is it cool that Claire sleeps over tonight? She probably shouldn’t be wandering around at the moment.

Love the fact that big ass monster fight goes on and we just ignore the whole damn thing. WAIT I'LL SAVE YOU, yeeaah naah fuck off shinji.

>>34713937
>>34713945
>>34713951
>>34713954
>>34713955
>>34713958
>>34713967
>>34713991
Mum’s mouth terses into a furious line, but she says nothing, dad turns the page in approval, most I've gout of him in weeks.

I usher Claire back to my room. I lock the door and with a strike of clarity I make a mad dash for the laptop.

Claire wrestles me off it, unsurprisingly and begins trying to guess my password again.

“You’re not gonna get it.” She sticks her tongue out at me. “Mature.” The tongue just goes further, a trace of a giggle as she does so.

“Look it’s a random series of numbers, just pass it here.” She tries one more before huffing and passing it back.

Insufficient password attempts, your computer has been locked. I stare at her. “Y’know, I could kick you out.” I mention, as she laughs in my face.

"Yeah and I can let you deal with Chad by yourself when he hunts you down on Monday.” She manages between laughs.

"Fair point" I concede.

>>34714065
Pretend to fall and grab her breasts.
bitches love that

>>34714097
I don't think that's how it works...

>>34714065
We spend a few hours watching dumb videos on the internet, eventually we make a quasi stealthy trip to the kitchen to make popcorn. No one pays attention to us at the least. Then back to my room, where I manage to convince Claire to watch one of the more girl friendly shows off my hard drive.

Around eleven my sister, Erica, knocks on my door. She quirks an eyebrow at seeing Claire on my bed, still chewing popcorn, but all she says is “Keep it down, your shitty cartoons are offending my developed tastes.” I close the door in her face and turn the volume up, she bangs on the connecting wall from her room for a minute before giving up, probably resorting to drowning us out with her headphones.

Claire picks idly at my sheets, “So exactly how much jizz is my skirt collecting right now?” she muses “I'm guessing a lot.”

I scrunch my face at her, “Ech. I don’t do that on my bed, I sleep here! I'm not an animal for Chris’sake.”

She nods sagely “Shower. Right, that’s sooooo much cleaner.”

“No... The toilet. Easier to clean up.”

“Cheers for the info.”

“You asked.” She concedes and drops the point.

We spend another four or so hours watching crap, making jokes, shooting the shit.

Eventually she yawns, stretching her arms overhead, joints popping lightly. “OK, sleep time now.”

“Weakling.” I comment, powering the computer down. “Alright I'm getting changed out of this shit then.” I drag a previously worn set of tracks out and a mostly clean shirt out of the floor of my wardrobe.

I turn back around and Claire is unclipping her skirt. “Why?” I ask.

She’s nonchalant in her answer, “Don’t want it to tear if I roll on it funny. It’s the only nice skirt I own. It’s the only skirt I own, period.” Fair, it flutters to the floor. Then she undoes her bra through her shirt.

>Nice
>Why?
>Take my clothes off

>>34714121
>Take my clothes off
She set the precedent. It would be rude not to.

>>34714121
>take my clothes off

>>34714121
>why?

>>34714121
>>Nice

>>34714121
TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME

THIS IS NAKED CHICKEN CLARE AND WE PLAY TO WIN

>Take my clothes off

>>34714118
Yeah, you have to be skilled to do that. It's only for pro level harem protags. We'd fail miserably.

>>34714121
Throw her a tracksuit or jammies or something.

>>34714121
>Take my clothes off
Gotta be a good host, don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

>>34714121
First, ask Why?

Then, joke about having her take off our clothes

>>34714121
>Take my clothes off.

>>34714121
>Take my clothes off
What? At night, girl undressing on my bed, inside my room and behind closed doors... I'm just doing my part ya know, just going through the motions.

>>34714121
>Clothes

>>34714121
>Take my clothes off

>>34714177
You have to start somewhere
where did your ability to dream go?

I rip the /fa/ggy shirt off, puddling it on the floor with my jeans, as she pulls the bra out from under her shirt, offering a glimpse of her bare abs.

It’s a decidedly sexier piece than the kind she usually wears. “You really did want to get fucked tonight, huh?” she extends her middle fingers at me. “Aw, and all the pretty girls had to run away.”

She jabs my own pale stomach “You gonna change then?”

“Are you gonna stand there and watch?”

“It is pretty fun to make you uncomfortable.”
She smirks at me, clearly not about to budge.

>What do

>>34714274
We are a side character. We can consider ourselves lucky we have a female friend, much less the ability to dream.

>>34714276
Change as if she was not there.

If she doesn't like what she sees she can look away.

>>34714276
Change in front of her.

>>34714276
>Rip bra off, go for broke
I mean shit, we're not MC but we've got to try right?

>>34714303
>>34714298
These.

>>34714276
Change in front of her. "Feel free to join in at any time."

>>34714276
Change, also offer her pajamas or just more comfortable clothes to sleep in if we have none. Since she was all dressed up.

>>34714305
>Her bra is already off

Well shit.

>>34714305
she took her bra off, she left her shirt on

>>34714276
Change in front of her and comment on her nice abs.

>>34714298
>>34714303
in case she does get flustered, what do we say?

>>34714276
>Strip dance

>>34714276
Change in front of her with a smirk

>>34714276
change anyway it's not like our pride can go any lower right now

>>34714325
So sexy it hurts?

>>34714325
Ay bby wan sum fuk?

>>34714325
"What, like you weren't doing the same thing 3 seconds earlier?"

>>34714276
"Do you have matching panties for that fancy bra?"

>>34714351
That seems reasonably ok

>>34714325
You're cute when you're flustered.

>>34714325
Exactly what she JUST said to us, word for word.

>“It is pretty fun to make you uncomfortable.”

>>34714359
this too

>>34714371

>>34714351 here, this is far better

>>34714325
"Got a pleasan reation, huh? Where did the jab about making people uncomfortable go?"

>>34714321
rip your bra off then
we're wearing a bra, right?

>>34714377
This is all conjecture anyways, no guarantee she will be flustered at all.

Reread this quest, but with Claire being a trap. All the nuances are there.

>>34714389
We are a dude.

>>34714400
If Clare is a trap this is hella awkward.

>>34714401
yes
and?

>>34714400
Boner stop Please be real

>>34714417
It is but we can still fuck it!

>>34714276
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-ZjmSIOLNk

She just watches, bemused, as I pull my underwear off, my stomach is already starting to bruise as I pull my new clothes on.

I try to maintain eye contact with her, noticing the slighest tinge of pink growing in her cheeks.

"You were doing the exact same thing, not two minutes ago." I point out.

She leans back, falling flat on the bed, the springs squeaking, "Yeh right, like you'd bother me Danny."

"You're real cute when your flustered ya know." She pulls a pillow over face, grabbing one of her shoes and flinging it at me as I slide the old shirt on.

Hmmm...

>What do?

>>34714400
>>34714417
>>34714424

The moment when you realize MC is a reverse trap and Claire is a trap.

>>34714433
Reasonably sure guy or girl we'd be the one getting fucked.

>>34714400
From Yuri to Yaoi in 24 hours: The Chuckles Story.

>>34714424
Generic anime background characters don't have enough personality to be that kinky anon.

>>34714450
Continue light teasing. We need maximum overfluster to occur.

>>34714450
First take the hit from the shoe and go down like we've been shot. Follow up by a wounded crawl to the bed. We're sharing at this point damnit.

>>34714450
Crawl in bed with her and tickle her abs.

>>34714450
clothes on? good, toss something back (preferably something light and not easily breakable.)

>>34714450
>attempt to suavely get into bed
>instead, trip on the discarded bra and fall on top of Claire

>>34714474
This.

>>34714483
A sock? sock works.

>>34714450
>"I use that pillow to jack off, you know"

>>34714474
>>34714474
Damn straight we do

>>34714483
>>34714450
or, better yet, catch the shoe and toss it back at her while mocking her.

"Missing something?" or some such

>>34714475
>First take the hit from the shoe and go down like we've been shot.
"Remember me, not for who I was, or what I've done, or what I stand for, or the lives I've touched, or the memories we share, but for... well fuck."

>>34714508
No. We aren't dirtying our bed with her shoes.

File: ade.png (120 KB, 555x143)

120 KB PNG

>>34714450

>>34714474
This.

>>3471451
but for... wait that last one was good. *Le' death*

>>34714523
fine, we'll go with the socks

>>34714526
I can only hope birdman.

>>34714474
Engage main engines, all flusters at full output.

>>34714467
Not that we see

>>34714467
They also don't bring a girl to their room and strip in front of her. So clearly she's a main character in we're in limbo of getting more screen time.

>>34714450
Offer her comfortable clothes to wear.

>>34714474
>>34714495
>>34714507
>>34714530
>>34714559
"Yeah, you're cheeks just light up with this pink glow, it really suits you."

She rips the pillow off her face, leaning up on her elbows, still tinged pink, my work is not done, "I've never seen you go quite that colour before, ya kno-."

"That's it." Another squeak of mattress and she's jumping at me, she spins me around, climbing on my back and driving me towards the bed by pushing off the wall with her feet.

A mashing and crashing of limbs later, she's got me pinned beneath her, both wrists held to the bed, panting as she stares down at me.

"Sh- shut up Danny." I'm ever so aware of the silky feeling of her leggings, the pleasant, soft weight she's pressing down on me.

>What do?

>>34714575
Hmm...alright, I'll give on that. I bet we're just going to cuddle or something though.

>>34714660
>Do you realize the position you are in right now?

>>34714660
>"Wah! What are we going to do on the bed?"

>>34714660
Lean upwards and kiss her.

>>34714660
Kiss the girl!

>>34714660
Huggle?

>>34714660
Give her the D I guess.

I really dont feel like there was enough buildup for this in the quest as a whole. Feels shoehorned in. I am not feeling it. But it is happening anyway.

>>34714660
kissu

>>34714686
this

>>34714660
"Well, this seems to be a rather compromising position."

in a nonchalant voice, perhaps.

>>34714660
We haven't achieved critical flustration yet.

"Got me right where you want me now, do you?" or some such comment.

>>34714686
dakka

>>34714727
Oh yes. This.

>>34714660
>>34714686

>>34714660
>>34714727
seconded

>>34714686
Have to.

>>34714727
Supportan

>>34714727
>>34714686
Can we combine these? Is that feasible?

>>34714727
This.

>>34714771
"What are we going to do on the bed now that you've got me right where you want me?""

>>34714686
>>34714707
>>34714729
>>34714747
>>34714753
"Wah! What are we going to do on the bed?"

She growls, "I said SHUT UP!" One of her hands leaves you wrist, raising up and-

OWWWWWW.

I awaken with my head throbbing painfully, Claire rolled me onto the floor after knocking me out. She snoozes atop the mattress as the cold hardwood floor saps my body heat.

>Try and climb into bed with her
>Take the couch
>Other

>>34714817
>>Take the couch

>>34714817
>>Try and climb into bed with her
She ain't taking my bed!

>>34714817
>>Try and climb into bed with her

>>34714817
>>Try and climb into bed with her
Well this was anti climatic, guess sex isn't all that it's hyped to be.

>>34714817
You idiots, we almost got the girl.

>noisily complain about the pain to wake her up

>>34714817
Critical fluster mode lead to beating. Clearly we should have just kissed her.

take the couch.

>>34714817
>>Take the couch
Thanks for not forcing sex.

>>34714858
Why not just kiss her now?

>>34714817
>Other
Pull her out of the bed and onto the floor, consequences be damned.

>>34714817
>take the couch
well that was fun while it lasted, but I'm not to sure how many more bruises we can get before we look like a walking advertisement for relationship abuse.

>>34714817
>climb into bed with her

>>34714817
>Other
Just leave a note saying, "So tsundere~!" and fall back asleep

>>34714817

> Take the couch.

>>34714840
This. We alpha now.

>>34714872
Because now it's rape.

>>34714817
>>Try and climb into bed with her
Our bed. scoot to the left.

>>34714817
We'll just try to guilt trip her in the morning with a sort of, "S-ssorry about last night.. I just.. I thought you liked me." Or we could be less of a pussy and ask her out.

File: faggots.jpg (146 KB, 400x1230)

146 KB JPG

All these fucking couch faggots.

>>34714817
>Try and climb into bed with her

Its our bed goddamn it.

>>34714817
Back to bed

>>34714984
>Wanting to sleep with your only friend

>Being petty about sleeping conditions

>>34714884
>>34714864
>>34714907
>>34714827
>>34714858
I grumble and grouse, stealing the duvet and roll myself onto the couch against the far wall of my room, thank god for upper middle class housing.

When I wake again, Claire is leaning over me, trying to stifle her giggles, "Socked ya good didn't I?" she prods at my temple, FFFFFFFF. "I gave you plenty of warning, ya little bitch." At least she doesn't hold a grudge.

"You need counselling, like serious anger management style counselling, you know what right?" She just shrugs.

You note her clothes she removed last night, bundled up in a pile, "You leaving?"

"Yeah, gotta get back, some of us actually wake up before noon, to do things. Like excersise." She prods my flat stomach, directly in the welling bruise for Chad's punch, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG. "Wanna come with?"

>"Nah, I have better things to do, like....."
>"Sure

>>34714969
MC should just kill himself. His only friend is sexually frustrating and physically abusing him.

>>34715042
>"Sure
Time to get /fit

>>34715042
>Sure

We need to get stacked.

>>34715042
>>"Sure

>>34715042
>>"Nah, I have better things to do, like....."

>>34715042
>couch
God damnit you guys suck.

>sure
Might as well tease her at the gym too

>>34715042
>>"Nah, I have better things to do, like....."
Morning masturbation.

>>34715042
>"Sure

>>34715042
>"Nah, I have better things to do, like fapping."
Fap and cry.

>>34715042
>Sure

>>34715042
>>"Sure

>>34715042
>>"Sure
We work out while playing on our handheld.

>>34715122
> Playing on our handheld
That's code for jerkin' it, right?

>>34715042
>Sure
All the while planning our revenge.

>>34715042
> Sure

>>34715042
So did we get brain damage from being knocked out for an extended period of time? Or have months passed and we just work up from our coma?

You didn't really make it clear which happened.

>>34715055
>>34715060
>>34715064
>>34715073
>>34715076
>>34715087
>>34715102
"Sure, might as well."

She just cuffs me over the head lightly, "Yeah what else are you gonna do? Jerl off and cry?"

N-no, "Hah, please." I slip some socks and sneakers on, not much point in showering at the moment.

I grab a jacket for the morning chill and actually take time to prepare myself a morning feast. Bread with jam on it. Iron Chef up in this motherfucker.

The walk to Claire’s transforms the surroundings from quasi upper-middle class gated community aesthetic, to utilitarian government housing blocks and finally to Claire’s’ home.

A caravan park. It’s as depressing as ever. That creepy aging Scottish man is washing himself in the nude in a children’s plastic pool in front of his caravan as we stroll in.

He tries to make eye contact, as always, but this time he does it whilst scrubbing at his flowing red pubes. “Y’wot?” He calls as I take a turn to get to her lot. I don’t respond.

Arriving at her lot, I see her typical array of slung together exercise equipment. A punching bag hanging from a tree branch, a mountain bike, stripped of its wheels and resting on some supporting cinder blocks and her stolen set of dumbbells.

You also note her dad's car is gone from it's usual resting place.

>Get /fit/
>Play on your phone
>Wheres your dad?

>>34715217
>Get /fit/

>>34715217
>>Wheres your dad?

>>34714817
Hah. I knew I would make you cockblock yourselves.

>>34715217
>get /fit/

>>34715217
Stop saying quasi. You damned psudo-intellectual.

>>34715217
>Get /fit/

>>34715217
>>Play on your phone

>>34715247
Perfect moment to kiss the girl! I KNOW LETS TAUNT HER SOMMORE!

>>34715217
Complain to her about last night.

>>34715217
>Get stacked

>>34715217
>>Get /fit/
With our handheld.

>>34715217
>>Get /fit/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D-QD_HIfjA

>>34715277
As expected of a background character.

>>34715217
>Get /fit/

>>34715347
No protagonists have odd screwed up relationships that never culminate in anything but awkward touching. Background characters have normal healthy relationships.

>>34715257
>>34715249
>>34715242
"Alright, where should I start?" I ask.

"You're gonna exersise? I mean, apart from your right arm?" I give her a fake laugh, "Eh whatever man, go do ten minutes of cardio on the bike."

You climb on the the stripped bike, it wobbles slightly under you as you peddle it, chain cranking loudly every few seconds. "Is this thing sturdy?"

"Yeah, sure."

After 6 minutes I'm gasping and sweating profusedly, but I push on. I desperately count down the last 20 seconds on my phone clock.

"Phew, there done." My legs have gone to jelly and I've got a cramp between my shoulders from hunching over the handlebars.

"Alright, come do 5 sets on the dumbbells then."

>How about no
>Isn't there some other way of working out? that doesnt involve me dying
>Other

>>34715323
Yes! 1980s training montage go!

>>34715367
Also they tend not to have faces

>>34715391
>Other
Give it a shot at least. we can probably manage it with our right arm.

>>34715391
>>Isn't there some other way of working out? that doesnt involve me dying

>>34715391
ask about her father

>>34715391
/fit/ here.
>Cardio
>Dumbbells

We are skinny enough to get BTFO constantly by a girl, we need to bulk and start deadlift, squatting, bench stat.

>>34715391
>Isn't there some other way of working out? that doesnt involve me dying
Faceless Nobody needs to grow a pair for exercising.

>Isn't there some other way of working out? that doesn't involve me dying
you say as you walk towards the dumbbells to at least said you tried.

>>34715391
DO IT FAGGOT

>>34715391
>>34715417

>>34715391
Decline, do pushups instead.

If her dad's car is back, wash it. Wax on, wax off.

>>34715391
>Other
Give it your best effort.

>>34715391
>>34715429
This.

>>34715417
>>34715391
Yup.

>>34715391
>>34715417
Do eet.

>>34715417
>>34715451
>>34715441
>>34715455
"Isn't there some other way of working out? that doesn't involve me dying" I gasp.

"Nope." Is her simple reply, clapping me on the back, "You being a bitch just made it eight reps per set.

I honestly do give it my best shot, I make it through the first three sets, sweating and grunting as she practices with her punching bag.

Halfway into the fourth set, I'm starting to feel queasy. I drop the dumbbells, running to the waist high fence, I bend over it and puke into the grass on the other side.

Claire joins me after a while, sucking on a bottle of some green slurry, “That shit smells rank.” I comment nodding at her supposed drink.

“It’s soy protein.”

“And its green.... it’s made of people isn’t it?”

“If that’s a joke I don’t get it.”

“You wouldn’t.”

She grimaces, "You're just a barrel of laughs in the morning aren't ya?"

Whatever, change the subject, before she puts you back to exercising

>Your drink smells like dead arsehole
>Where's your dad anyways
>I'm still really fucking sore you know

>>34715566
>Where's your dad anyways

>>34715566
>Where's your dad anyways
Also maybe we could not crack me in the skull so often?

>>34715566
>>Your drink smells like dead arsehole

>>34715566
>I'm still really fucking sore you know
Take responsibility for my inability to jerk off now.

>>34715566
>>Your drink smells like dead arsehole
>>Where's your dad anyways

>>34715566
>>Where's your dad anyways