>>34449065

And the start of my Timeline to work out where and when things happen. Help me fill it in:

TIMELINE OF EVENTS

DISCOVERY ORDER OF THE PRIMARCHS

1)Hektor Cincinattus
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17)Inferox the Burned King
18)
19)
20)
21)
22)
23)
24)
25)
ULLANOR CAMPAIGN

Present forces

TRIUMPH OF ULLANOR
Primarchs Present:

THE FALL

ISSTVAN III

ISSTVAN III

THE BURNING CRUSADE

TERRA

>>34449065

Reminder that if you write something for your Legion or another in this thread, add it to either the 1d4chan article or the Google Doc

Writefaggotry incoming for the KoJ

>>34449090
Two things, I want to be number 11 because I like that numbers and I'm dropping my first name until I can come up with a better one for myself.

>>34449090
> the burning crusade
> Inferox already there

Enough with that whole "FIRE!!!" thing.

>>34449133

11th found you are.

>>34449133
Dude, just go with "The Voidwatcher". People who don't have real-person names are automatically unsettling.

>>34449163

The Burning Crusade is this 'Verse's version of the Shadow Crusade, and ends with Inferox becoming a Daemon Prince.

>>34449090
I want 7

>>34449090
Are the Nova Defenders a first founding chapter? If so, I'd like to be number 9.
>>34449133
>I'm dropping my first name until I can come up with a better one for myself.
I might do the same. They don't blend well. Any suggestions? Preferably a new first name starting with "R".

>>34449192

You got it.

Note this is when found, not your Legion Number. That is different. For example, the Sons of Fire are the IVth Legion, but their Primarch was the 17th to be found.

>>34449216
Yea i got it

Just a general question anyone out there actually post more then one legion?

>>34449173
Sounds good. I actually like just "The Voidwatcher"
It's kinda like how Kurze went by "The Nighthaunter" except I'm not space batman.

>>34449233
>The Dark Nighthaunter

I suggested that Kranios ends up killing Rook North during the Heresy (see >>34448650 while it lasts). Having thought this over a bit more, how about Rook splits off his command and leads Kranios away from the Rams' (or whatever they're gonna be) ships. While Kranios pounds his brother into the dust, Rook's 2IC blows up the Rams' transport and legs it.

I mean, we've got a lot of clever Traitors tricking dumb Loyalists in the story, having at least one moment where it runs against type is nice.

>>34449209
I'm actually really attached to the name "Rook North", enough so that I can think of names that sound similar, like "Dwight Able".

>>34449268
You don't think they feel too separate?

>>34449268
>While Kranios pounds his brother into the dust, Rook's 2IC blows up the Rams' transport and legs it.
Yes, YES.

Request to have Hektor changed to Hector.

The k makes it sounds like "we put k in here because it's cool"

While Hector with the c makes it looks like distinguished if a bit old.

>>34449173
That was a very good idea.

>>34449209
I really like Rook North. It fits your primarch. He's not conventional and to me he kinda feels like the average odd man out. He's still capable of great heroic things but he's also the most human and personable. He's not some ridiculous epic character.

>>34449268
I am Skull and I approve of this idea.

>>34449330

But 40k is all about "we put X in here because it's cool"

>>34449090
I guess I would be last
does anyone care about the stone men?

>>34449065

So, who dies on Isstvan V?

Hey guys, Primarch Kleisthenes of the Scions of Europa checking back in real quick before I head off to bed. I archived this thread and the last on sup/tg/. Loving the fluff everyone is writing!

>>34449363
Wow, I kinda figured people would write him off for that reason.
>>34449393
I love your Havel army.

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>>34449393
I care.

>>34449508

10th is yours.

>>34449420
I dunno. I feel like the setting kinda needs that. We've got a legion for everything except for the average kinda guys.

>>34449065
Dibs on 11?

>>34449528
Thanks.

>>34449533

Voidwatcher is the 11th.

>>34449554
4th?

>>34449587

Yours now.

>>34449065
Huh. You know, that's the first image I've ever seen for WH40K that actually looks like it could take place in a world where people have relatively normal lives.

I need to change up some things in my legion.

>>34449530
>average kinda guys
Definitely us.

Unrelated, Nova Defender's home world is now Rylethon. A planet mostly covered in ocean, and storms. The earth is entirely made up of a strange black rock.

I would also like to know if I'm a first founding. I posted in the first thread, I just didn't get to dump fluff til last thread.

>>34449609
Well...not anymore, but yeah I get what you're saying. Neat.

>>34449090
By the way, Myslef and the Scions were present at the Triumph of Ullanor

>>34449646
myself*

Someone adding all of this to either the Google Doc or 1d4chan?

The crimson phoenixes have been disbanded and some of the source material have been added to the "The Council Of Iron" to make it easier upon myself. I'll change up the shit on the wiki here in a minute

>>34449646
How do you feel about your Legion being your personal fantasy about Europe ever mattering?

>>34449632
>I'm on 1d4chan
Thank you based anon.
>Chapter XIII
Fucking rad

>>34449695

I'm doing both.

>>34449699

40k was made by brits. In 40k, it's America who doesn't matter at all.

>>34449637
Did you see the advice I gave you on what you could change the name to in the last thread.

Don't want to repost since people are now focused on picking up their ticket number.

>>34449065
Okay I wanted to change a lot about my legion to make it more "Chaosy". Kranios was originally going to be sort of a Simpleton who got screwed over into it but now I want him to be a much bigger aggressor. Pretty much just someone with an obsession with breaking nice things.

Point is, is anyone writing anything where this character is relevant? Because he's probably going to change into a noticeably bigger asshole

>>34449090

I'll take 7th

Looks like I have to turn in for the night. Friends are coming to drink. I'll be monitoring over my phone. See you guys tomorrow.

>>34449699
What? We have not!vikings and not!celts; my legion is not not!greco-romans named after the old continent they were from. Nothing wrong with celebrating your culture, anon

>>34449733
kek

>>34449737
Yeah. The guy's name is already "Skull" in greek. How would it being head butt or whatever help that? I mean my back story was going to be that he was raised by a tribe of primitive mountain men that he leads in completely tearing down what was once an independent Hive World during the Dark Age.

He's not supposed to have a sensical name.

>>34449733
Still, the blatant "Europe is so great!! Greeks and Romans!!" is at the same time VERY limiting and kinda worrisome about what this legion will be about.

Why not also include others eras of Europe in, and find a less polarizing name?

I think a lot of people in this thread forget that people will eventually read all of this and compare it to the original.

Do you want them all to facepalm and go "I know what that guy was trying to do..."

>>34449065
i want to be number 21

>>34449812
>my legion is not not!greco-romans
sorry, meant to type "my legion is just not!greco-romans"

besides, us being at ullanor was one of the original things I wrote for my fluff, before other people started giving me the role of sanguinus and all.

ugh, I need to get to sleep. too many spelling errors

>>34449836

Done. List looks like this now.

DISCOVERY ORDER OF THE PRIMARCHS

1) Hektor Cincinnatus
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7) Dragos Alfher
8) Bohemond
9) Rook North
10) Thoren Grimm
11) The Voidwatcher
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17) Inferox the Burned King
18)
19)
20)
21) Ocullus Tyran
22)
23)
24)
25) Onyx the Indestructible

>>34449818
Skull-Head sound actually good as a name, set the tone about the character, and is a nice contrast compared to the other names, thus making him unique.

>>34449821
The original has plenty of stupid crap too. The white scars are literally just Mongols. Not only that but they're the only god damn Asian people in the whole setting. The Primarch of the Iron Hands legion is just named "Iron Hand". Nothing in these threads. (except maybe the dino riders, sorry bro) has been particularly stupid or over the top.

>>34449090
Roman Albrecht should be one of the last, as they had to strive to earn recognition because the Crusade was in full swing.

>>34449901

What is the genetic diversity of our Legions, by the way? I have the Sons of Fire being a mixture of Egyptians and Africans.

>>34449821
My apologies, I was never trying to push any ideas of supremacy among humans, if that's what you're implying. 40k is about humans uniting with each other to fight chaos and xenos, after all.

>>34449901
So you are just going to do the same stupid crap too?

Okay.

>>34449879
Okay what's Skull Head in latin or whatever?
Or do you literally just want him to be called Skull head?

File: 1408980322743.gif (616 KB, 392x340)

616 KB GIF

>>34449959
Literally.

>>34449901
Speaking of culture, i really don't have one for the Emperor 's eyes. Any ideas?

>>34449996

Use a real-world culture that GW would never use. South American, African, South-East Asian, Aboriginal Australasian...

Run Wild.

Incoming writefaggotry, sorry it's a long one

“Let those who desire the Emperor's justice step forward!” Bohemond's voice echoed off the bare walls of the Palace of Justice with authority and conviction. The throng immediately fell silent, and the militiawoman policing the crowd gestured for the first supplicants to approach. They were somewhat hesitant about approaching the seated Space Marine, but a swift jab in the smalls of their backs with the militiawoman's pike propelled them forward.

DISCOVERY ORDER OF THE PRIMARCHS

1) Hektor Cincinnatus
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7) Thoren Grimm
8) Bohemond
9) Rook North
10)
11) The Voidwatcher
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17) Inferox the Burned King
18)
19)
20)
21) Ocullus Tyran
22)
23)
24)
25) Onyx the Indestructible
Now fixed list.

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>>34449990
No.

>>34450055

“Who are you who, and why do you seek the Emperor's justice?” Bohemond found comfort in the old ritual. He had practised a variation of it before being reunited with his father, and throughout the Great Crusade he had made a point of holding court on each world the Knights of Justice had brought into the Imperium. Was the Emperor not an Emperor for all mankind? Did all mankind not benefit from His rule? Did all of mankind not benefit and deserve His justice?

“Balthazar, farmer of Mindan province m'lord,” mumbled the first figure, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the floor.
“G-G-Greigor, merchant of Mindan province m'lord,” stammered the second. Bohemond noted that he was dressed somewhat finer clothes than the farmer, and clutched a feathered cap in his trembling hands. He had dispensed justice to all stations of people throughout the Imperium, from feral tribesman barely capable of civilised speech to his fellow Primarchs and their Legions, and this case would receive just as much attention as one of the conflicts Bohemond had resolved between his brothers.

>>34449920
>>34449821
...And if it helps, I re-worded part of the entry on my legion in the /tg/ Heresy article on 1d4chan so that no-one will get the wrong idea. I'm completely against any form of racism or "supremacy" between humans, and I want to make it very clear that there's a HUGE difference between celebrating your own culture and degrading others.

Now, can we get back to purging the alien and fighting chaos together, guys?

>>34449920
Just hope people who will discover our Legions won't go "oh I guess the guy who made this legion was European and had a boner for greeks and romans, I can do that too!!"

It could work but you will need to put something in it that makes the whole concept actually looks like it belongs in 40k, like Europe the centerstage of something worthy enough to warrant those colonists to name the planet after a age-old continent, maybe the people of Europeans descent that were with the Emperor when he was conquering Earth did something drastic that helped the emperor claim Terra.

>>34450056
I'm fourth right?

>>34450056

Where is Dragos Alfher then?

And can we fill in more gas phere?

>>34450067
You hate fun, do you?

>>34450088

“This man didn't pay me a fair price for my livestock!” Balthazar pointed accusingly at the merchant. “He claimed he had little coin but I know that's not true, I saw he had more!”
So it was a matter of coin, it often was with these commoners. Part of him wanted to scream at these men for wasting his time, for holding him here whilst he could be chasing down the renegades and traitors and following the last command of his father – but what did these simpletons know of that? How could they know of the Great Betrayal? How could they understand the scale of the suffering wrought on the Imperium by Hextor and his cohorts? How could they understand a love so great that an Emperor had for all mankind he would kill his own children? They could not, but they could make sense of it here in this dispute, and thus the message would spread to others. Now more than ever in these dark times were stories of Imperial virtue needed.

“And this is true?” Bohemond questioned the merchant, fixing his gaze upon him.

“W-w-well yes m'lord, I did have more, but I was saving it to buy from other farmers so that they would have coin to buy food,” squirmed the merchant, desperately looking everywhere but at the Space Marine. “And the only reason Balthazar knew I had more money was because he broke into my wagon and forced open my lockbox!”

>>34450114

It was now the farmer's turn to feel the eyes of the Primarch fall upon him. Bohemond did not even need to speak a word before the words began to tumble out of the farmer's mouth.

“M'lord, he had more coin than I've ever seen! More than I saw that time we collected that sum for the orphans of the plague. He could've easily afforded to give me more, I've got seven mouths to feed and...”
“That's a lie!” The merchant protested. “It wasn't nearly as much as he claims, and besides Balthazar only has four children!”
“Well they eat so much it feel like seve...”

“SILENCE!” Bohemond's yell almost bowled the two men over. “Greigor, do you deny withholding funds from Balthazar?”
“N-n-no m'lord.”
“And you, Balthazar, do you deny violating a man's property? No protests, a simple yes or no.”
Balthazar opened his mouth as if to say something, but simply shook his head.

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>>34449996
For some reason I was imagining south east asian styled. Like the Khmer empire or something Thai or Cambodian. I think the very first image you posted along with your legion in the first thread is why. Like with the lots of gold and sashes and shoulder/neck things and tall hats.

>>34450093

You are in my list.

>>34450129

“Then I am ready to give the Emperor's judgement,” Bohemond pronounced. “Greigor, to not give a man or his efforts their due worth can lead to the direst of circumstances. Some of my brothers felt slighted by their kin, and as a result it has led to anger, defiance and even rebellion.” This revelation brought a gasp of shock from the assembled crowd, who had up until now remained silent. “I therefore order you to pay Balthazar a sum equivalent to a fair price for his stock no later than forty days from now.” Balthazar's face took on an incredibly arrogant look, one that painfully reminded Bohemond of one of his fallen siblings.
“I have not finished,” Bohemond snapped. “Balthazar, I spoke to Greigor about respect. Would you rather that Greigor had broken into your dwelling and simply taken your livestock? No, you would not. Society cannot function if we deviate from our laws, and committing one offence for the sake of righting a previous one is unjust and incorrect. You will therefore be fined the sum of money Greigor will pay you, payable no less than one day after you have received the coin, and thus the Emperor has given justice on this matter. Give thanks for this justice.”

“We give thanks for this justice!” The militiawoman began to chant, and soon the crowd took it up.
“We give thanks for this justice!”
“We give thanks for this justice!”
“We give thanks for this justice!”

Bohemond smiled and gave thanks.

>>34450133

I love the sound of that. Exotic, Interesting, and something IRL GW wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole.

>>34450133
Actually, yeah, that is kind of how i pictured them. I'll look into that

>>34450158

And done. There's lot of Traitor close-quarter zealots, so I wanted to put something in that would set the KoJ apart and give Bohemond a real reason to stay loyal

>>34450090
The colonists arrive on that planet during the Dark Age of Technology, when the memories of ancient Terra were, well, not-so-ancient. Kleisthenes named his legion after the planet on which he arrived, as many of the Legion's recruits were drawn from that world.

>>34450203

Put it on 1d4chan.

>>34450111
No I like it a lot. I'm literally making my guy rip and tear with buildings because I felt being someone who sits around the warp all day being sad and possessed to be entirely unfun. I jsut don't like the name Skull Head

>>34450203

Change the name of the Legion to the Justicars.

Can't get more cheesy than "Knights of Justice!!!".

>>34450110
Dragos will become an officer in the council of iron to help with fluff.
>>34450093
whatever you asked you probably are. i just fixed my primachs.

>>34450217
Skull-Head*

What about Earth-Face? Mountain-Face?

Or maybe just Kranios...

>>34450056
If discovery order 10 isn't taken, I'd like to fill it.

>>34450215

Done

>>34450239

But the whole point about them is that they're Marines who shout "for great justice!" whilst they take off in their Zig-class Thunderhawks...

>>34450300

Cool. I'll remove him then.

>>34450317
Yours. 10th found son of the Emperor.

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Can someone change the council of iron picture to this said picture. i don't know how. lol

> in this thread, people trying to live out their Primarch fantasy

>>34450354

Do the Council of Iron fight the Machine Guard? Two Mech Legions facing off for some reason.

>>34450323
Welp, cheesy legion name it is then.

>>34450282
I like that last one.

>>34450373
The highest power armor the council uses is centurion. and that's only for a sparse few. the rest use terminator. but I'm down to have them fight some of yous guys for fluff.

>>34450282
>>34450419
Mountain-Face is fucking gr8

>>34449065
Eternal Zealots have been reworked!
Pre-Heresy - Healing Crusaders and Xenos
Post-Heresy - Undivided Crusaders and Xenos

After the Heresy they drop the Healing, deciding to leave that to the Sorcerers, they take on a mentality that the weak deserve to be stomped out, they will do no good towards the Imperium that Aubrey desires.

>>34450458

When was Aubrey found?

>>34450472
Last Primarch to be found.

>>34450492

That's already Onyx the Indestructible. Would you like to be Second-To-Last though?

>>34450492
Already taken by the Stone Men

>>34450509
That will do.
because of his argument with the Emps over his Xeno allies.

>>34450458
I'm glad you cleaned them up. I hope to see their fluff on the wiki soon. Your legion is the one closest to my own.

>>34450559
Already cleaned it up!
Now, I need two things.
One to flush out my Xenos allies
Two, to find a legion to enact the betrayal.

>>34449632
Rook is in the order of Primarchs found, so you're a First Founding chapter. We should also think about Successors. Whoever blows up the Rams' transports is either going to end up heading the main chapter of the Nova Defenders or its most prominent successors.

>>34449065
Okay so what legions enjoy building things and art and whatever in general? Because my Legion is essentially designed to be hated by those guys.

>>34450650

The first betrayal? Would that have been Emperor-Sanctioned, like the Night of the Wolf? Maybe the Emperor wanted them corrected due to their Xenos-Supporting ways?

>>34449065
Ah, there was another thread made. Cool deal.

I posted most of what had been written and reviewed for the War Scribes on 1d4chan. Let me know if anything doesn't flow right for the timeline, or if anything conflicts too badly with the rest of the AU's stories.

>>34450056
I'm not really sure when Arelex should have been found. He's the II Legion's Primarch, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the finding order.

I guess chuck Arelex in as number... 5, or 2 if people don't think that's pretentious. He would have needed to meet up with his Legion pretty early on in order to do all the relic hunting he did, and to teach them to do the same.

>>34450720

Two seems fine to me. We need a Super Loyal Russ Analogue for 3 though.

>>34450720
You came in just in time.

War... Scribes...

Writes the codex,
He still forgotten.
Sowehow the Mechanicus did not think he erasing the most prominent work of Aralex...........................

Also Aurelex sounds better thaan Aralex.

>>34450756
For the super-loyal type, Omegon Annihilators, Crusaders, or Thunder Kings could work, though you might wanna double-check the fluff on them.

>>34450676

Once the truth was revealed, it was only a matter of time before the Emperor would be moved to censure the Eternal Zealots. The links of cause and effect are poorly recorded, but it seems that the Emperor waited for some time after the initial reports of Xenos Traffiking and support reached his court. That He sent missions to assay many more worlds conquered by the Zealots is known. We can only speculate as to why: perhaps He did not want to believe it of His son, perhaps He wanted to be sure, perhaps He was simply gathering information before acting.

>>34450785

No, they covered up that the Mechanicus *killed* Arelex on his homeworld.

They didn't cover up that he was a Primarch, or that he helped write the Codex.

They couldn't erase the large-scale work he had done for the Imperium, just like he couldn't break the Mechanicus' stranglehold over technology.

So far for the Loyalists we've got this:

Istvaan V:
>Entombed
>???
>???

Terra:
>Scions of Europa
>Crusaders
>Steel Marshalls
>Silver Cataphracts
>some War Scribes
>Loyalist Thunder Kings

So we need to find homes for
>Knights of Justice
>Mechanist Warriors
>Omegon Annihilators
>Void Privateers
>Eyes of the Emperor
>Children of Armok

Given we now have quite a few absentees, e.g. the Void Privateers, I'd suggest we put them to be massacred at Istvaan and assign roles elsewhere to those who are still more active.

>>34450176
How about this:
Chaplains meditate in isolation for hours upon hours trying to commune with the Emperor. They also can channel a small bit of their Prinarchs power to probe the minds of suspected marines

Dreadnoughts are basically walking altars that rarely enter combat. When they do, they are armred with missile launchers to prevent them from being damaged. They also have their former visiage carved onto the front of the dreadnought

Assault marines are actually based on a volunteer basis, and upon doing so, are considered dead until they get past their time volunteered. They must take up a vow of silence, and either take a regular bolter or dual wield dual chain hooks.

Neophytes are paired up with a tactical to learn under the marines, and for each neophyte trained, they implant a veteran bolt in their fore head. They nay also use seals instead

Hows that so far?

>>34450878

I would put More Legions at Isstvan V, maybe 5 or so. Those that need to be knocked out of the Heresy for good.

>>34450850
Alright it makes sense.

I still fail to see in what aspects they are WAR Scribes, their only talent at war seems to be long-term planning, other than that...

At least Ultramarines have the whole educated and disciplined soldiers thing.
What do the War... Scribes have in term of war?

>>34450676
It was a betrayal of his xenos allies, instigated by the Children of Armok.
Basically.
A third of the legion is on the homeworld, Emps demanded the xenos had to be watched carefully.
A coup happens, the Tarerellians kill the 1st Company Captain and wound Aubrey, along with killing a few zealots while they were trying to re-unite a lost human colony back into the Imperium.
Aubrey sends out this message to another Primarch, seeking aid while his legion is currently tied up.
A message back to the homeworld of the betrayal is intercepted.
When the Primarch arrives, the Tarellians report that Aubrey had been killed by the legion in question, just as the enemy legion showed up and opened fire on the tarellians and the zealots open fire upon the other legion.

After a few days of fighting, Aubrey and Uriel arrive on the planet, a third of the legion lost in the conflict, Aubrey is pissed and sends them away after an argument with him.

So I need someone who is sort of no nonsense, get into the fight and fast.

>>34450878
The eyes of the Emperor were fornelly traitor, and were coerced/forced/threatend into helping the traitors, but they escaped afterwards and particpated in the defence of mars for the loyalists. They were saved from being declared heretics via the Ad Mech pulling some strings. Dur to their close ties with the ad mech, they dislike the War Scribes for stopping the Ad Mech, and are rumored with being the chapter to assassinate their Primarchs

>>34450878
The War scribes get knocked from about 90k marines down to 3k, because they pretty much walk face first into it about as badly as you could have happen. Only 1 in 30 make it out alive, dragging their Primarch with them.

Only calling back all the scattered relic hunter squads, plus some aggressive recruiting, gets them back to about 10k, which is then split into several Successors, most of which are called upon to defend their homeworld against the Mechanicus.

Arelex dies in the process, taking the final hit so that his successors can live, since he sees little else he can do for the Imperium in the coming millennia (correctly or not).

>>34450962
It's more that they go to war armed with knowledge and relics. They seek out the ancient repositories of lore, digging through for even the least of clues to lead them to Dark Age items. They use knowledge as a weapon, but when they can't fall back on that knowledge (CHAOS), they suffer.

>>34450982

Does the Emperor order this, like >>34450814
said? The Emperor hates Xenos, he would censure any of his sons who traffick in them.

They need a reason to hate the Empeor, and they already have most of it: The Emperor hates Xenos, and they like Xenos. Already the Primarch and the Emperor are on bad terms.

>>34451015
As I said, not much in the war department.

That Not!IndianaJones is going to ruin your theme.

>>34450982

No nonsense? Get into the fight thick and fast? I'm your Legion

>it looks sorta bad
>KILL IT
>well only sorta
>KILL IT
>we can't be sure
>I'M SURE WE WILL KILL IT

>>34450999
>>34451015

Got it. Add it to either 1d4chan or the Google Doc

>>34451015
Edit: Should have specified that most of the Scribes die on Isstvan. They never make it back to Terra because of Arelex's mental breakdown, and because the Mechanicus intercept the Emperor's message telling him to return.

Only after another Primarch, as yet undetermined, talks some sense into him, does Arelex come back to do his duty to the Emperor and Imperium he failed.

He tries to break the Mechanicus' power, as they struggle to move the halls of power to Mars now that the Emperor's not able to stop them, but only forces a stalemate, which continues to this day (as it does in canon).

For that offense, the Mechanicus ser Arelex and his children up for a massive bodyblow, which they only escape at the cost of their homeworld.

After the Legion is scattered, and the Primarch killed, the Mechanicus stop worrying about the War Scribes very much, because their power is so diminished.

>>34451055
I can take the Jones thing out. It was mostly just a whim.

But ultimately, the relics they carry are what define the War Scribes. It's how they live, how they die, and how they go about war and serving the Imperium. The focus is not on the Marines themselves so much.

>>34450885
I like this a lot. I'm imaging the gold colours on everything. The gold and ostentation. Your legion looks really fucking sick in my mind.

>>34450656
I'll work on second founding when I get home tomorrow.

>>34451098
It should be on the Marines themselves though............... It's Warhammer 40k it can only be about the Marines...

Cut the Jones thing and have them focus on pure knowledge and also Logic. They can't be having a walk throughout the galaxy and suddenly be somehow be the guys who know about strategy and administration.

If anything I would add Logistical genius to the Legion, something the Legion could use on the field of battle alongside the relics. Also a drive to test their strategies and theories in the heat of battle.

still looking for some help with fluff and stuff. if anyone wants to add me on skype.
tottallyrandomuser is it. probably be easier then doing it on here.

>>34451036
Oh, I think I know.
So, obviously, the Emperor had been wanting to get rid of the xenos without upsetting one of his sons, he had quelled rumours and after the worlds he conquered with them by his side, he saw at least some merit to it, after the Betrayal however.
The Emperor contacted Aubrey, telling him that his faith was misplaced, Xenos are Xenos and he should have never believed anything otherwise, he thought of him to be one of the smartest of the primarchs...but called him a child for his naivety and his lack understanding of the cruel nature of the universe.
The Emperor ordered the Legion that felled his men to wipe the system clean of any still "loyal" Xenos and the Primarch had Aubrey watch, as the race who raised him burned.

>>34451228

That is delicious, worthy of the Emperor. He fucks over the Word Bearers in the Real Heresy, and he fucks over the Zealots here.

>>34451228
Way to make the Emperor the bad guy and your Primarch the good guy...

If anything something should happen to prove to Aubrey that the Emperor was right but then Aubrey will still choose to not listen and then fall to Chaos.

>>34451228
>>34451275
After leading them on for a while and letting them believe he'll actually accept them and their beliefs. It's flawless, pure Grade-A Big E dickery.

>>34450878
Istvaan V is The Entombed, War Scribes, and Mechanist Warriors. Lifebringers deal to The Entombed, while the Black Augurs rekt the 'Scribes and 'Warriors. You could scale it up, I guess.

>>34451098
>But ultimately, the relics they carry are what define the War Scribes. It's how they live, how they die, and how they go about war and serving the Imperium. The focus is not on the Marines themselves so much.

I actually see the defining thing about the War Scribes as the fight to keep the Empire's "rational core" intact. That's what I'm riffing off with the Knights Draconian - Galilei thinks that can only be done through brute force and that explaining, tolerating and enlightening humanity was a bit of a mistake.

>>34451292
Well the Emperor has always kinda been shortsighted about his sons and his sons have always acted really emotionally about just about everything so I think it fits.

I thought we were here to not make the same stupid shit GW did.

The World Eaters story had always been stupid. The whole amount of mistakes a divine beings did has always been stupid.

If anything we dont have to ake the Emperor the obligatory "look what an idiot he is doing this stupid thing", we can do better than that.

>>34451157
I like the Nova Defenders a lot, if I can think of a variation on their theme I'll pitch it to you.

>>34451292
It did.
The Betrayal happened.
Those he saw as allies and he vouched for betrayed him, just the Big E warned him they would.
Xenos are Xenos.
In the end, the Emperor was right, but in the eyes of a Primarch and the Word Bearers, the Emperor was a bad guy.
Or at least dicking them over.

>>34451364

How is he being stupid? This is Xenos, not stealing a Primarch away from his brothers.

>>34451351
see >>34451364

Somehow, a almost divine psyker can't see how angering his Primarchs could be a problem.

>>34451381
Actually on this one he was smart.

Cohabitation with other alien species will always end badly, and that because of the existence of Chaos.

If the humans are not affected, the aliens will bring it in.

>>34451365
Alright, cool.

>>34451198
That is sort of implied with how Arelex built the political order of the Imperium, post Heresy. It's not a coincidence that he's a Grand Strategist, and that that role is similar to Guilliman and the Ultramarines. I kinda intended it that way, because the very first thread was intended to have the Primarch you create represent you personally.

So yes, they are logistically skilled, though I didn't point that out specifically. They are skilled in all areas of large-scale planning, though they're too naive/trusting/inflexible at the tactical level to be a well-rounded Legion like the Emperor would probably have wanted.

Logic really isn't their thing though. The War Scribes are still emotional, they just direct those emotions inward, rather than outward.

And as far as war goes, I guess maybe the best way to say it is this: The War Scribes are unafraid to use the tools of the ancients, and they've become good at figuring out how they work. They view the Dark Age as something that the Imperium could one day equal or surpass, and strive toward that end.

That is how they make war. Brutally, mercilessly, often without much regard for civilian casualties, and with ancient relics whenever possible. They don't deal well with surprises, so they try to shatter the enemy in one overwhelming blow, with technology the opponent cannot match.

Does that make more sense?

>>34451340
Yeah, I'm not doing a good job of explaining myself here. What you describe is more along the lines of how they were pre-Heresy.

Post-Heresy, they still remember what they and their Primarch stood for, but it's become clouded over the millennia. Seeing people refuse to do what the Emperor asked of them, over and over and over again, has caused them to change, in outlook. They no longer feel so strongly that they can keep the Emperor's original plans alive. Some of them feel like they've given enough. War Scribes that have fallen to Chaos usually think this.

Does this clarify things?

>>34451427

And that's exactly what happens. That Xenos race show the Zealots Chaos, and the rest is Heresy.

>>34451382
It wouldn't be grimdark if people actually made good sensible decisions and actually conducted affairs like real people instead of a mix of psychopaths, manchildren, bigoted idiots, and machines that only respond to things they've been told by people in power.

>>34451494
Also, the "Scribes" part refers to not just the seeking of lore, but the recording of what they learn. One of the main ways they fight to counteract the Mechanicus is the dispersal of what the War Scribes learn and discover.

A drop in the bucket, of course, but it's the principle of the thing.

>>34451540
Separate race, but yes, it is a point.

The big E was right and Aubrey was naive, that is his flaw.
Xenos are very very bad.

>>34450885
A bit more

They are seven vows of purity that each neophyte must take to become a full fledged space marine. Each one concides with a organ except the last one, which is the bonding of the suit, neophyte and optic eye.

Brothers are encouraged to consult every other marine under and above their command for advice on upcoming campaigns and other actions. Every decision is meditated upon, every deployment carefully considered

When fighting a openet, they will usually plan days, weeks and months ahead to the very last second, and will base their plans on specifically how the enemy reacts. They are so well timed, there is cases of them firing with such timing, aim and precision, that they were able to kill entire flanks of enemy. They are famous for their saturation attacks as well, leading enemies into death traps of rocks and heavy weaponry

>>34449065
Lotta people need homeworlds on the 1d4chan page.

>>34451605
Aubrey no! Betrayal within the betrayers. We thought there was some common ground of not hating Xenos here. Oh well. I suppose Chaos space marines aren't really known for their tolerance.

>>34451494
how convenient that they will always have DAoT techs on the battlefield.... yeeeaaahh

>>34451729
Oh I like these new Xenos.
They worship Chaos!

>>34451724
My homeworlds name is Ostium if that helps. Black Augurs. Also can I get a name change in the table of Legions?

>>34451494
>

Post-Heresy, they still remember what they and their Primarch stood for, but it's become clouded over the millennia. Seeing people refuse to do what the Emperor asked of them, over and over and over again, has caused them to change, in outlook. They no longer feel so strongly that they can keep the Emperor's original plans alive. Some of them feel like they've given enough. War Scribes that have fallen to Chaos usually think this.

That works fine. Also legitimising the Knights' claim that they're keeping the dream alive, even if that dream isn't as pretty and shiny as everyone hoped it would be.

>>34451747
It's more like they might have a fancy auspex, or a really nice armored shield, rather than being kitted out in LOLMAGIC gear.

"relics" doesn't mean "black hole pistols", or at the very least that's not how I intended it. Many of the relics won't even be combat items, more like talismans they carry with them.

The Legion's armory and vaults were more like a Deathwatch Watch Fortress's vault than a typical chapter's armory, is all. Interesting stuff from all over.

The *really* amazing stuff got fired off/destroyed/used up all the ammo/etc at the defense of their homeworld. There wasn't much left after that, so a great deal of the War Scribes' efforts were spent in that one fight, never to be recovered. Needless to say, they hold a grudge.

>>34451837
You know, i've been saying the Emperor's eyes dislije your chapter, but what do the scribes think of the Emperor's Eyes?

>>34451897
I'll be honest, there's been so many people talking about so many things, that I haven't really been paying tons of attention to all the potential links between Legions and Primarchs and what not.

If you stayed Loyalist, we probably would be ok with each other. If you were involved in the death of the War Scribes' homeworld, it's pretty close to a standing "kill on sight order" for you.

>>34451959
Don't go having too many vendettas. Remember, I killed the crap out of your legion on Istvaan IV.

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So how grimdark are we going to go with this? Are we going to keep pretty much in line with pic related, or something a little softer?

>>34451991
It's a big galaxy, there's plenty of room for hatreds.

Just because we got knocked down doesn't mean we've forgotten how our Primarch always dreamed of getting back up, stronger than before, for us as well as the Imperium/Humanity.

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>>34449065
Don't suppose anyone liked >>34446314 the idea?

>>34452010

We vary. Some bits are worse, and some are better.

>>34452063

I like it, add it to Doc or 1d4chan

>>34452081

Seems reasonable.

>>34452100
Added to the 1d4chan page.
Check out "The Betrayal."

>>34452202

Whey, looks like you and me have some major beef now. Do you want your Primarch and mine to have a duel at some point in revenge for what the Knights of Justice did?

>>34452276
We're both a pair of close combat specialists with our own reasons for duelling the other teams champions.

Hell, yes.

>>34452307
I wish to hit you both with a very large hammer.

>>34452307

Smashing, we will make it so. At what point in the timeline do you want it to happen?

>>34452362
Insstvan?

>>34452316
Fah!
What do you know Thoren, I'll feed you to the Khornate Kroot Packs!
Better yet come here, and I'll stick you with my twin blades!

>>34452411

Sounds good.

>Loyalists getting their shit rekt
>Bohemond senses the end coming
>issues a challenge to Aubrey
>Aubrey and Bohemond fight
>Bohemond gets killed
>a few survivors run away, but not enough to make a meaningful difference in the rest of the Heresy

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>>34452465

So this is the Fulgrim/Ferrus duel of this 'Verse?

>>34452475
Definitely.
Weird how things fall into place.

>>34452465
Not going to say I won't hang you from a totem pole with the word Lazarus carved into your corpse.

>>34452475

I'd say so

>>34452532

Each and every Knight of Justice will see that the Zealots all who aid them are scoured from the galaxy. There will no hole too deep, no planet too remote, no fortress secure enough to save you from our wrath! We will scream His name every time one of you falls to our fury! We will revel in finishing your complete and utter annihilation!

Use this time wisely traitors, we will rebuild and return. Your days are numbered.

>>34452646
And we would meet you on the field of battle.
Our Juggernauts charge through the lines!
Our men lock blades with yours and scream in response.

LAZARUS!

>>34451454
I gotta write a bit about Rook to get the vibe across, you have veto of course.

Rook North was a lot of things to a lot of people, but his men mostly saw him as their friend. The Nova Defenders were certainly disciplined, but their willingness to obey came from understanding that their commander valued them as people. So while North's final act - sacrificing his own life to save his legion - came as no real surprise, the Nova Defenders were determined to recover and honour their founder's body.

As the Legion prepared to depart for Terra and the final battle of the Heresy, Todd Baker, the Nova Defender's best scout, was assigned the task of finding and securing North's body until relief arrived. It's said that the whole Legion volunteered, but in the end a hand-picked squad of twelve were sent. After a harrowing three years, constantly on the move, first seeking out the primarch's body then protecting it from Traitors, Baker's "Ironsides", as they called themselves, were all extracted and shipped back to Rylethon.

Only three had survived the ordeal, and they were changed men. They still gave smiles - small ones - when their comrades joked and laughed, but the long patrol had enforced a habit of silence. Come the Second Founding they weren't turned out of the Nova Defenders, but it wasn't hard to see that the Ironsides had their own tradition and it was one worth preserving.

Settled on the ice world of Whitestead, the Ironsides have kept quiet. They honour the Codex Astartes, but place an emphasis on infiltration and light infantry tactics. Ironsides tend to rely on other Chapters or the Imperial Guard to provide heavy firepower. They find it pretty easy to work alongside other imperial forces, and are particularly loyal to their Founding Chapter. If sometimes the Ironsides have had to refuse a call from Rylethon, it's always been with good reason.

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>>34452692

Beautiful. We gotta writefag this up properly at some point

>>34452811
and then i ram my ships into the middle of it.

>>34452715
I love your legion. It's probably the second legion I would go with. After my own of course. It's so awesome and heroic. It makes me want to be a member. They feel like action movie hero type guys, but the relate-able kind. It's so awesome. I can totally see one battle brother carrying another on his shoulders off the battlefield only for the one being carried to crack some call back joke to something that happened earlier in the battle. Like fucking band of brothers type shit. So cool.

>>34452855
>>34452811
He doesn't understand our manly duelling ways.

Afterall Thoren is a fucking savage.

>>34452898
This is true. i'll leave you guys to your honor duel and ill just cleave legions upon legions with my axe. you guys duel and ill keep the fuckers off you.

>>34452811

‘I have long waited for this moment, Bohemond,’ replied Aubrey, ‘ever since you purged by brothers with vengeance in your heart. Ever since you humiliated me, and left me before our false father’s judgement. For years I have dreamt of this reckoning. Only one of us will walk away from this, you know that.’

‘I know that,’ agreed Bohemond.

‘You betrayed me and my brothers,’ said Aubrey, and Bohemond was surprised to hear genuine emotion in his brother’s voice. ‘You cast them down and purged them, because they were not human. Because they were Xenos,’ the last part coming out as a hateful hiss.

‘I did what I had to do because your eyes needed to be opened,’ answered Bohemond. ‘Xenos were never our friends, they were always against us. Father thought you knew better, he thought you’d understand. But you were naive, you never saw the threat they posed until too late. And now look at you, turning on us in the heat of battle.’

‘You turned on us. You shamed us and humiliated us. You will not do so again.’

‘Then you shall all die!’ snarled Bohemond. ‘Hektor is mad. Look at all this death! How can this be right? You will hang from Traitor’s Gibbet for this sedition, for I am the Emperor’s loyal servant and through me his will and vengeance will be done.’

‘The Emperor is a spent force,’ snapped Aubrey. ‘Even now he whittles away on some trivia in the dungeons of Terra while his realm is in flames. Even now he gives up on hope in favour of his own selfish desires. Are those the actions of a being fit to rule the galaxy?’

‘No More words,’ Bohemond adopted a combat stance with his blade. ‘Come then, brother. Let us decide this, you and I. For eternity.’

>>34452898

I think that's the real tragedy of the Heresy, Aubrey and Bohemond would've been great friends

>Legions are planning a co-ordinated assault on some xenos
>"Right guys, stealth and surprise are the keys to this operation. That means Aubrey and Bohemond, you need to...hey, where are they and what's this note?"
>DEAR BROS, GONE DUELLING. CYA LATER
>"DAMNIT! Every fucking time."

>>34452953

MOAR DAMNIT MOAR

>>34452887
Can't take credit for the Nova Defenders, but yeah, that everyman thing is powerful stuff.

>>34452953
The battlefield fell silent...a pair of Black blades, snakes wrapped around the blade and outwards, forming both the guard and the hilt, broke the silence as they rang out for a painfully long time, before the doctor...the general...the primarch, took his stance.
Both swords pointed towards the floor, putting his right foot forward, he shifted his body forwards, his silver locks draping down, only a single, almost glowing, piercing, emerald eye peered out from the shadows.

",,,For Lazarus."

>>34452991
You think they didn't do this?

"BOHEMOND!"

He strikes down another traitor.

"I AM UP TO 54!"

>>34453087
I shall return soon for more brothers!

I'm leaving now brothers. Rest well, for the thread will return tomorrow, in full force! The Black Augurs will see you all again.

>>34453087

Topkek, can see that happening. Gonna try and combine the writefagging into something that makes sense on 1d4chan, then call it a night

Meh, the best I can come up with is that >>34452646 are Bohemond's last words that he speaks after Aubrey has eviscerated him and he lies dying. His voxcaster relays them to his troops somehow, and it becomes a warcry that is recited every time the Knights of Justice face the Eternal Zealots. If anyone thinks they can do something better or more clever then go ahead, I'm bushed

>>34451454
Bonus Second Founding Chapter. (Aside: ff anyone's geneseed is unusually stable, it's Rook North's, just because he wasn't so far removed from humanity as the other primarchs.)

The Nova Defenders arrived late - very late - to the battle at Terra, and made the fateful decision to run the guns of the Traitor fleet rather than be bystanders. By this stage of the campaign, Third Company was in the best shape, so they were chosen to secure the landing zone. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong, from losses on the landing to a Traitor counter-attack to hold-ups with reinforcements.

When he touched down on Holy Terra, Charlie Wade was a sergeant. By the time the main body of the Nova Defenders joined Third Company, Wade was in command. He'd been lucky - every other officer in Third Company was dead, along with nine in ten of the men. For the rest of his life, Wade would insist that he never would have been promoted any other way.

He also liked to joke that his luck ran out when the shooting stopped on Terra. When the Nova Defenders were broken up to form Chapters, people started talking about how the legendary Third Company ought to be honoured as a new Chapter. Wade and the other survivors hated the idea, tried to fight it, but were eventually forced to form the leadership of the "Lionhearts". They didn't like the name, either.

For all the griping at their start, the Lionhearts have been a success, chalking up an impressive battle record and showing little deterioration in their geneseed. About the worst that can be said of the Lionhearts is that they're all stubborn by nature, and most are cantankerous. No other Chapter is quite as averse to drop tactics. "Once was enough," the Lionhearts say.

>Picture of 40k civilians

Holy hell I've been missing that for ages.

>>34453053

Aubrey struck first, moving faster than thought, his cloak swirling about him. Bohemond met the blow with his mighty blade, and a radial wave shot out from it, throwing up the ash in swirling clouds.

Bohemond grunted as he blocked the incoming blades. He moved far more slowly than Aubrey, but everything he did was solid, dense, and indomitable, every movement clinical, a ruthless economy of muscle and motion, each thrust and parry executed to perfection without the audacity of dramatic flair.

Bohemond’s blade wove an exquisite dance, while Aubrey’s blades slashed at Bohemond with wild abandon, and the air rang with the clash of metal against metal, with the fizzing crack of opposing power fields.

Bohemond wrenched his blade back, the silver steel breaking through the air in lashing chops, blurring into a crescent that reflected the flames that lit the sky above. Each carving strike crashed against Aubrey’s blocking blades. Both warriors moved beyond mortal capability, with speed that defied sight. Yet one was a knight, a champion of justice and honour, the other a visionary whose vision had turned dark, and who fought with savage relish against his hated foe. Aubrey’s grin had been a brittle facade at the best of times since the fall of Lazarus. Now it turned to glass.

Aubrey beat away a sword-strike and went for Bohemond’s gorget with his other blade. At the last minute he jutted the blade down, slipped below the defence and cut a long gash in the primarch’s breastplate. This time the blade cut deep, paring already fractured armour and delving into the ribcage below.

Bohemond roared in pain and jerked clear, cracking Aubrey’s blades away with his own mighty sword and staggering backwards.

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I HAVE HAD VISIONS! Visions of a completely revamped, renewed, and revitalized Black Augurs. I've already updated the wiki here http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_/tg/_Heresy#Black_Augurs:_Undivided.2C_ambush_focused

But I'll post it all here as well. Tell me what you guys think

Not!Nightlords/Not!ThousandSons They use fast and brutal tactics, favouring ambushes and any way they can inflict morale damage on their foes. They didn't fall to chaos, but did choose to fight on Hektors side. They were present at the Istvaan V scenario that nearly destroyed the strength of the Knights of Justice, the Entombed, and War Scribes. The Black Augurs as a whole are known for their lightning reflexs and psychic precognition.

Augury and Foresight[edit]
The Black Augurs have many arcane rituals and practices that they claim channels their foresight. Chanting and burning of incense in combat, inscribing ruins and esoteric symbols directly onto their armaments, and focusing on a single thing to discern prophecies from it. Most Black Augur marines can simply channel their combat focus into being able to predict the very near future, dodging bullet and sword swings and knowing when to fire on an enemy behind cover can both come to Black Augur when he enters a trance like battle focus. The things most often used to discern the farther future are the black void of space, storms (solar, thunder, cosmic, etc.), large groups of animals, and the patterns of explosions and debris. A special assault regiment called the Haruspices (Haruspex singular) even claim to be able to discern the future in the blood and viscera of their enemies and so use chain weapons to produce as much of these two things as they can.

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>>34454083
Powerful psykers known as the Vates act as the legions Librarians and can channel many mind based powers with their disturbing incantations. All can project visions of doom and death into the minds of their enemies to demoralize and confuse as well as cause intense pain in the minds of individuals or small groups. The more powerful can project visions of unimaginable horror and the future death of all their opponents hold dear directly into their minds, often causing them to go mad with grief or anguish. The most powerful of the Vates as well as the Primarch himself can channel their will so fiercely into another's mind that the strong willed will often black out and the weak's brains boil out of every orifice or explode.

Weaknesses and Shortcomings[edit]
While incredibly potent as a tactical tool it is recommended that the common marine try to avoid going into a trance of prescience for too long in battle as they may discern momentary flashes of possible death. This is incredibly painful and distressing to such an extent that more than a few marines have had a vision of their death that is quickly followed by their actual death as a result.

On a more universal scale many members of the legion often suffer from horrific visions while in stasis after a hard fought battle and many neophytes suffer from visions of several of their deaths far in the future while becoming a marine. Even the Voidwatcher is beset by visions of death and suffering in the future. There is a close to even balance of horrific visions of torture and death and tactically helpful visions or visions of victory some might still see the precognition as a whole a "flaw". Though the Black Augurs themselves would be loathe for you to say it to one in person.

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>>34454083
>>34454094
Heresy[edit]
The Black Augurs were one of the Emperors legions that turned traitor during the Hektor Heresy. While other legions and higher ups in the empire had long had some misgivings about the legion of sorcerers and warlocks the Black Augurs had long had suspicions they were not trusted as well as other legions. Their strange mystic rituals and unsettling arcane practices had even drawn the ire of the Emperor on occasion, especially when used around civilians. It was simple for Hektor to convince the Voidwatcher and his legion that some of their visions of a disgusting, stagnant, witchhunting, empire were not far off and that they would never truly be excepted into the Big E's unified humanity. They quickly joined the forces of the renegade legions but resisted the pull of the Chaos gods. Though farther down the line in the Heresy some mentions and devotions to Tzeentch were made he was never their patron. This was because whenever a Black Augur thought seriously about descending along the path of Chaos they were wracked with horrific visions of demonic torture by whatever is providing their visions and listening to their incantation.


So yeah, new Black Augurs, you all tell me what you think of em.

>>34454057

He now snarled defiantly, turning his pain to anger, fuelling his body with rage and barrelling back at him, smashing him with perfectly directed sword-blows. Aubrey lurched away, stumbling across the uneven dirt carpeted with the bodies of his Legion and Bohemonds, while Bohemond lumbered after him. More blows came in – hard, heavy, earth-shaking blows, blows to sunder armour and shatter steel. Aubrey was driven further, only barely able to weather the explosion of fury directed at him. His armour was cut apart and his body battered and bruised by his once-brother’s sustained assault.

‘Die,’ Bohemond breathed. Desperation ruined his voice, rasping it from bleeding lips. ‘You should never have survived that tainted world you call home. Father should have ended you when he saw how fall you’d fallen, the company you kept.’

Summoning up one last burst of energy, Aubrey bludgeoned aside the mighty blade and pulled away, beckoning his adversary to come after him. Bohemond followed, his armour cut apart, his mighty sword slick with blood. A vengeful Knight, come to avenge his sons.

Aubrey held position, panting hard, trying to drag up energy for the final clash. His hearts thudded, his lungs burned. He held his twin blades poised, waiting for his enemy to move.

Come to me. You can see my weakness.

Howling anger, Bohemond did just that, and Aubrey took his chance.

>>34454129

One blade took the mighty sword, as he stepped to one side. The other blade flicked out, biting deep into the breastplate of his brother’s armour, and the Lord of the the Knights of Justice screamed, a sound that sould never have existed in the mortal realm as his breastplate gave in and the blade bit deep into his flesh. Hot blood sprayed from the wound and the mighty black blade slid from Bohemond’s hand as he snarled in fierce agony.

As Bohemond crouched, bleeding, he began to speak into his Vox, giving final orders to his sons as they tried to flee the field. He knew his fate, he knew he was done, but he had one last oath of defiance left to give.

Aubrey smaled down upon him, drawing his blades back. His vengeance was nigh, his victory complete. This would be a message to all who follow the False Emperor, all who refused the promise of the future, all who cast him down as a weakling, a Xeno-Lover.

His serpentine Black Blade clove the air as it swept towards Bohemond. Unnatural warp-forged steel met the iron flesh of a primarch, its aberrant edge cutting through Bohemond’s skin, muscle and bone with a shrieking howl that echoed in realms beyond those knowable to mortals.

Blood and the monumental energies, the very fabric of creation bound within the meat and gristle of one of the Emperor’s sons erupted from the wound, and Aubrey fell back as the searing powers blinded him, dropping the black sword to his side. He heard a shrieking wail, as of a choir of banshees, whip around him as phantom, skeletal hands clawed at him, and a thousand voices tore at his mind.

Bohemond was dead. His head peered up at him, sightless eyes staring in accusation, his lips still moving with an unfinished curse upon them.

>>34454176

‘Thus was ever your fate Brother,’ Aubrey whispered to the head at his feet. ‘Lazarus is avenged.’

>What do you think?

>>34454201
I like it quite a bit. It's epic, but quick and vicious as a sword duel is in reality. The characters, while not shown in much detail, matched their descriptions here and how I had envisioned them. The writing was also good in that it was varied and you didn't repeat too many of the same words throughout. Overall it was very strong as short writefag pieces go. I give it an 8/10. Post it to the wiki page.

>>34454119
I don't mind it, but you're very very close to Tzeentch for a Chaos Undivided Legion.

>>34454688
I suppose. My intention wasn't really for them to be chaos undivided. Just renengades from the Imperial faith. Warlocks and heretics but not aligned with the Chaos gods. Eldar and Imperial psykers channel energy directly from the warp. The night lords aren't really chaos space marines but they are traitor marines. They also feature some use of prescience.

>>34454818
Really overall I was going for a more mad wizard or
ancient sorcerer feel. Less worship and cult relation.

>>34454831
I think Tzeentch is down with that, though, and from the looks of things he doesn't have a Traitor Legion. You could leave the Black Augurs out of the Warp and doing more Renegade stuff while still pinning them closely to one chaos god.

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Is there a reason the wiki page Aubrey the Grey of the Eternal Zealots is now the Eternal Crusaders?

Also I'm back, will start giving the wiki a clean up and sort out, but I have a busy day so will be sporadic at best.

My legion is doing things, but their dance card isn't particularly full right now - so if you need a reason for something happening - any event really - can we sub the Children and Uriel in as the reason? kind of a deus ex machina.

Despite the espionage and diplomatic political stuff, we do *attack* people. We just make sure no word can get out by severing communications and killing all witnesses so no-one can speak out and blow our cover.

so far i'm 'friends' with Aubrey the Grey and Arelex, both of whom i manipulate for my own ends.

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>>34454201

>pic very much related

>>34454119

Never really that interested in psykers/magic, but it's well written. The only thing I'm a little foggy on is how they manage to avoid the taint of Chaos, but I guess it's possible

>>34454935
Children of Armok and Iron Council would fall under Tzeentch iirc just maybe not fanatically so.
And life bringers constant changing of worlds etc would please Tzeentch a lot even though they are the resident Nurgle marines

>>34454963

So they're still a Legion, and can still fight like a Legion, just the same as the canon Alphas.

How does their legion fight when it has to deploy? What sort of warfare and strategy do they employ?

>>34454969
Well, Imperial psykers manage it and so do Eldar psykers. I threw in a little deus ex machina-y thing were they get horrible visions. I know I'm being a snowflake here but I really don't want to be just "the Tzeentch legion".

>>34454978
Also these guys are the Tzeentch-y legions apparently and you need that one totally not chaos aligned group of chaos marines.

>>34454963
>so far i'm 'friends' with Aubrey the Grey and Arelex, both of whom i manipulate for my own ends.
... damn it, Arelex.

Johannes Galilei hated you, Starikov. Don't let it go to your head, though, by the end he kinda hated everyone.

>>34454963

Yeah, the place really messed up and could do with some proper formatting, especially the section on the Legions.

>>34455027

I think everyone is being a little bit snowflake here - we're rewriting the fucking Horus Heresy here and inserting our Donut Steel Muhreens. No worries bro

>>34455052
Oh whew. That's a load off my shoulders, I suppose it's time for me to break out my transexual, aromantic, otherkin, MLP marines that are allied with the Tyranids and have tanks that shoot pure dark matter. That's cool right?

No but seriously thanks for that affirmation there. I think maybe them worshipping Tzeentch or Chaos as a whole as a way for them to channel their powers might be cool but I'd also prefer to keep them secular and definitely not in living in the Eye of Terror/mutated to shit group.

>>34455094

They may not worship Tzeentch, but they still serve him. And Tzeentch may like a Legion that serves his purposes without knowingly realizing it.

>>34455094
You could distinguish them a bit from Chaos worship by referring to them having a "pact" with Tzeentch. That evokes sorcerers dealing with a powerful entity more than clerics praying to a god.

>>34455027
yeah when you submitted the Black Augurs, and I wrote them up, thats what they were - you were the notNightLords if you like, cos you were fast scary and hit hard.

>>34455030
haha he never trusted me huh? He was correct in that assumption. The Children are on both sides of the Heresy by virtue of conveniently being too far away to help directly in any meaningful fashion. (we were pursuing the eldar to get into the Black Library), but both sides think we are loyal to their side of the Heresy.
Just as planned.jpg

>>34455016
Yeah, they're like the Alphas, with the espionage and political intrigue notched up to 13. So like if the Alphas didnt start being renegade for no apparent reason.
I leant heavily on the ColdWar spy games aspect.

When we do deploy, we have the best intel available through our huge network, so we know where to strike and when - although its not always perfect, so the commanders have to be able to adapt quickly, but we have no special talent - we're jack of all trades, we just pick our attacks wisely so we can strike hard fast and surprise the foe before they can bring their true strengths to bear.
We would naturally use a lot of ambushes I guess, but with lots of swat/special forces style rapid raids.
And we *always* block all communications - its a matter of survival. If word got out, our cover as a still-loyalist legion would be blown.

>>34455105
this. Children basically don't entirely trust Tzeentch because we're naturally spies, but we know he rewards us for plotting, so we make sure we nudge everyone where they have to be constantly.
That way we dont need to do much fighting.
Shit we even deal secretly with xenos...

>>34455122

Maybe small detachments did things for both sides in the Heresy, so attacked backwater stations and other minor actions while the Bulk of the Legion was elsewhere.

>>34455122
So do the Children have Successor Chapters in the Imperium?

>>34455122
>>34455116
>>34455105
I like all of these ideas. I don't want them to be really directly just reskinned/renamed version of a canon thing but I suppose you could see them as something in between the 40k thousand sons/ ahriman and the nightlords.

They have a deal with Tzeentch for the powers of precognition and mental magycks or whatnot and in return they sow change through the galaxy along with plotting constantly. They evoke the nightlords with their use of extremely fast terror tactics and ambushes + precognition.

I like it. What do you guys think?

>>34455166

I like it too.

>>34455166
Works for me. Is old Voidy himself still alive and kicking?

I have returned, what did I miss?

>>34455181

That's a good Question. What Primarchs are dead/alive/ascended?

We know Bohemond is dead, killed on Isstvan V, and Golgothos of the Entombed was mortally wounded and placed in a Dreadnought. Inferox of the Sons of Fire became a Daemon Prince of Khorne at some point as well. What about the others?

>>34455153
well technically yes.
We broke down the legion into chapters for our loyalist cover. but those initial foundings are all still part of the whole legion, and act like nothing changed internally. Externally we just look like we're really close with our successors.

But there would be more than a few successor chapters of ours, new foundings by necessity, that are kept in the dark about their parent legions true nature.
Those chapters would be treated as 'favoured' due to all the combat we would secretly have manipulated them into being in so they couldn't look to closely at us, all while getting them to feed us info on the loyalists as per our legions gimmick on intelligence gathering/espionage.

We have chapters that 'fell' to chaos or went renegade too, we use them to ''fight'' where we glass an entire planet, and then pretend to have a big battle with them so to any people watching us suspiciously, we look like we're actually trying to clean up our mess and are actively pursuing the Traitors, even though we let them slink away and go about doing their thing for us.
Kind of the deniable black ops chapters i guess.

We're trying to keep both sides of the heresy from finding out we're playing them both.

>>34455181
In the old Eldar/superiority focused Augurs he was chilling in a palace in Commorragh. But maybe now he's doing something more akin to Ahriman. He doesn't seem like the kind of person to take the bait and become an Archdemon.

>>34455190
A couple of Nova Defenders Successors, some write-fagging for Aubrey killed Bohemond, reworking of the Black Augurs.

>>34455193
Arelex is dead, killed by the Adeptus Mechanica (although nobody talks about that). Rook North got killed by Kranios in a Loyalist-tricks-Traitor moment. Roman Albrecht died in the Crucible.

I've noticed that the War Scribes successor chapter master and the Life Bringers primarch have the same name. That might be problematic.

>>34455208
I'd guess not too many Successors, because the Inquisition tends to look into new foundings pretty closely and they are your real nemesis.

>>34455211
well Uriel is secretly trying to get into the Black Library. At the time we had no Thousand Sons Tzeentch legion, so i rolled that into the Children background/motivations. Which makes sense, we are after secrets, its one of our prime motivations.
The Black Library would be a huge treasure to us. Same as the warscribes and Mechanics' hoards

>>34455217
The Children were responsible for the mechanicus killing Arelex, as part of our manipulation of both sides to get info/access to their tech.

>>34455226
i also noticed that too - took me a while to realize they weren't the same person...

>>34455226
Bother, that's my bad. Nikolai Galilei?

>>34455232
yeah, the Inquisition would be our biggest nemesis really. Everyone else likes us but doesnt trust us.
We do lots of xenos fighting so we look busy.
But the big ][ is split on us - because we get them such accurate intel, the radical factions like us and aid us where they can (some are even sleeper agents of ours), and then we have the puritans who don't believe we can get intel on xenos and heretics without being tainted ourselves. We have sleeper agents in the Puritans too, so we can always stay a few steps ahead of them.

>>34455242
Johannes was dutch sounding - why not pick another dutch-eque name? peeter, niels nikolaus etc?

>>34455248
His original name came from Johannes (Kepler) and (Galileo) Galilei. New name courtesy of Copernicus, to stay in theme.

>>34455226
I noticed that too and it confused the shit out of me. I don't think the Life Bringers are active anymore.

>>34455234
Well if you're secretly trying to get into the Black Library I don't know what to do with ol' Voidy. Definitely not going the way of Kurze or sitting around with his thumbs up his ass like most Chaos primarchs. Maybe semi-overtly trying to get into the black library and other arcane sanctums?

>>34455248
>>34455232
Oh and of course, there is the whole bit where we started the whole heresy and people studying it will start to find small inconsistencies in the overall story - its why the whole Zealous religious truth stuff is played up in the Imperium post Heresy, it keeps people asking questions about what really happened and revealing the Children for the Original Traitors that they are...

>>34455263
why not have him trying to carve out his own empire - you said he isnt one for the eye of terror, which makes sense. So why not be carving out an empire somewhere, with hidden fortresses throughout the whole galaxy? (segmentum solar? or is that just terra?)

>>34455263
How about The Voidwatcher went off beyond the edge of the galaxy, seeking the unknown? I guess he wouldn't promise to return, but you never know, right?

>24 hours ago this was just a chill thread about making your own Primarch
>now we've got the foundations of a completely alternate 40K

I'm proud of you /tg/, we get shit done

>>34455280
>>34455275
Yeah, I suppose just watching the void got a little old and he decided to actually go and check it out. That sounds cool, especially if he was going after ancient secrets beyond the edge of civilized space. That would probably leave the legion to be broken up amongst the Vates and their individual covens (basically like companies). There could be covens of them all over the galaxy, secretly and quietly in contact with one and other.

>>34455299
So, do you think the Vates have real names, or titles? I like the latter, because it throws a lot of uncertainty into whether The Voidwatcher's old crew are still around or new guys have just taken on the old names.

Calling Number 6

Darius Cyaxares

"Silver-Eyed" "All-Seer" "Prophet King"

When Darius was stolen away by the chaos gods and sent tumbling through the warp his containment pod was damaged, causing the young babe to awaken. As he opened his eyes to cry the warp damaged his eyes.

Moments later he landed upon the deserts of the Feudal world of Simurgh, where he was soon found by a caravan of traders. At first glance the merchants knew this boy was special, for his eyes now two pools of liquid silver, constantly shifting and swirling in different directions.

They immediately took the boy to the nearest temple and delivered him to the priests. The holymen of this feral world had long dabbled in ancient mysticism and sorcery and recognized his great potential. Undeterred by Darius's blindness, they trained him in the ways of magic and divination.

Eventually Darius mastered all that his teachers had to show him, and people from all over the planet flocked to him to have their futures told. When the four kings of the planet heard of his power, they each tried to use his prophetic powers against each other, but Darius refused.

Instead he foretold that a golden light would come from the heavens to reveal their true destiny. Angered by this, each of the kings tried to take him by force, either through trickery, bribery, or use of their armies, yet with his divination and psychic ability the "All-seer" outsmarted them all, eventually defeating all of them.

((Should I continue?))

>>34455339

Tities are good.

>>34455345

Please do. Primarch back-stories are all good. We need to flesh them all out, who dies and not, what battles they face, who they sided with and why, inter-primarch relationships and the rest.

>>34455345
Reluctant to push you away, but note that the OP says
>We have our full set of Legions

There's definitely (a lot of) space for Successors, and you could probably rework that material for one of The Voidwatcher's apprentices if you're heading Chaotic with it.

>>34455349
I agree, titties are good.

>>34455339
I'm not entirely sure what you mean. In my mind the Vates are just the higher echelons of psykers within the legion. Like librarians or chaos sorcerers but they're promoted to this order within an order. They do two things, renounce their name so that they can only be judged on their prowess and actions, and two, become company or squad commanders. Warbands now but originally that was the case. There can be multiple Vates within a coven but it rarely works out because all the Vates scheme to one up each other. The goal is power and they're all just trying to see who can get the most of it. Be it through the most accurate predictions, best ancient artifacts, or most powerful psychic abilities.

I'd like to here what you were seeing them as though.

>>34455345

Dang really should of looked at the wiki. I looked at the post below that only had like 2 Primarchs on it. Hmmm I could adapt one of these to one of the existing primarchs I guess, but but looks like most of the legion tactics are set, while I wanted this guy to be really divination and magic focused.

>>34455345

Go on, I'd rather have a fleshed-out latecomer than a descriptionless Legion from the first thread

>>34455378
Many of the Vates might have also made new names and styles for their covens but most stick to being Black Augurs. It's something that they all have in common and the techniques are proven to work. Plus they all do stem from the Voidwatchers geneseed so there's some fraternity about it.

>>34455383
>>34455386
>>34455367
>>34455362

Hmmm I'm at a loss, maybe I should just adapt this to be the backstory of the Black Augurs Primarch?

>>34455378
Without The Voidwatcher as the head of the organisation, there might be a semi-conscious move among the Black Augur elite to emulate his style. So rather than being "Merwyn Augustus", an 'Augur librarian among the Vates would simply be known as "The Herald". But then that leaves a question. Is The Herald today the same guy that went through the Heresy, or has someone else taken on that title? Not answering, or even acknowledging that, makes the Vates more arcane.

>>34455396

Ah nvm, looks like the Voidwatcher is here and actually making up lore for himself. Hmmm maybe i'll be the Loyalist counterpart to him then. Which legion should I try adapt this too?

>>34455396

If they aren't taken, then go ahead. I'd rather see untouched Primarchs taken up and refluffed by others myself.

>>34455404
The Omegon Annihilators - as odd a fit as it would be - have an unnamed Primarch with throwaway fluff that could fit your guy.

>>34455401
Oh fuck. That's really cool. I like that a lot. Things like 'The Oracle" or "The Herald" or "The Aetherwalker" would be really interesting. Titles passed down or just the same guy? You'll never know.

>>34455418

And you can change the name as well.

>>34455434
Sure, but most of the others actually have something written about them that cuts against what friend anon was reaching towards.

>>34455418
pssst. Go with the Void Privateers. No one has mentioned them in two threads. They're as dead as anything.

>>34455456
>Void Privateers

Wow. They're really just a pirate cliche, aren't they? Well, if >>34455345 wants to rebuild them around the All-Seer, that's just fine and dandy. Otherwise, I might give it a go myself. (Although I do like being Second Founding guy.)

>>34455383
>>34455386
>>34455396

No leave the Black Augurs alone - there interesting for now. Besides we could do with a magic centric legion. so go ahead anon - what side are you on?

We have some legions who havent been active since the first thread, in a pinch you can replace one of those!

>>34455456
they aren't active, but i've been fleshing the Void guys out a bit, but go ahead and change them no biggie

>>34455498
Hey! I'll always be interesting.

Also sorry, hadn't seen anything on them for quite some time. The Falcus Cobalt are also open now aren't they?

>>34455345

(Continuing then. Can I give Darius the 23rd legion then, the Omegon Annihilators. I'll work its themes into my idea, but basically these guys are Not!Persians that also use sorcery to augment their CCQ.))

However, after defeating the four kings, Simurgh began to grow more and more unstable, as other power hungry warlords, would-be kings and conquerors continued to surface to take their place, all wanting the same thing the four kings wanted.

Time and time again Darius defeated these opponents, but not matter how many he toppled or what he tried the resulting power vacuum led to an endless chain of war and intrigue. It was as if the greedy nature of man was some kind of Hydra, no matter how many heads he cut off, more simply grew.

Seeking an answer, Darius began a great fasting and dove deep into prophecy but what he saw horrified him. The stars burned as a malevolent darkness engulfed it all . A war, a war without end!

Scarred by his visions, Darius had all but given up when suddenly a golden light descended from the heavens and out stepped a stranger unlike anyone Darius had ever seen.

Intrigued by this stranger, Darius invited him to his temple to meet him. This stranger was none other than the Emperor himself. The two conversed by many days straight.

>>34455522

I've already made the changes.

'XVIII Legion: Omegon Annihilators
Darius Cyaxares
Simurgh

>>34455591

Also, when was he found?

Here'sthe list as-is:

1) Hektor Cincinnatus
2) Arelex
3)
4) Kranios
5) Brennus
6)
7) Thoren Grimm
8) Bohemond
9) Rook North
10) Kleisthenes
11) The Voidwatcher
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17) Inferox the Burned King
18)
19)
20)
21)
22)
23)
24) Aubrey The Grey
25) Onyx the Indestructible

>>34455522

The emperor was disappointed in his son. As a priest, Darius had never wanted to rule content to his studies, meditations and religious teachings. It went against everything the emperor had bred him for. He explained to Darius the evils of religion and allowing the people to go astray of the Imperial Truth.

Convincing Darius to take up the responsibility he was destined to, the Emperor granted him a single company from the 23rd legion and a month to set things right, as a final test that Darius had learned all that the emperor had taught him.

Taking command of personally trained them in the arts of sorcery and the planets most noble weapon, the Shotel. Taking up the blade of an ancient king, Darius led his men across the planet on a great crusade.

When the emperor returned, he was not disappointed. Darius had cast-off the religion that had bound him to inaction and taken control of the planet for himself. The emperors methods and his Imperial Truth had proven itself to Darius and brought peace to the war-torn planet. Eternally grateful to his father for the lesson, Darius bowed his head and proclaimed the planet now belonged to the emperor. With that the Emperor bid his son to rise, welcoming him to the Great Crusade and granting him command of the 23rd Legion in its entirety.

((TL:DR : Darius is trained to be magic prophet on planet by religion. People in power keep trying to use Darius for their own gains, forcing Darius to kill them. However because of his religious teaching Darius refused to take power himself, and feeling self entitled the people of the planet keep fucking everything up until the Emperor convinces Darius of the Imperial Truth and to step it up. Darius is grateful for the lesson and now loyal to the Emprah))

>>34455649

So what happened to him during the Heresy? He was Loyalist, so was he at Isstvan? Terra? Elsewhere? Who did he fight?

>>34455345
>>34455522
>>34455649
I like your fluff for your founding but I feel like your overall archetype is edging a little close to mine. What with the using psychic powers to enhance combat abilities and general prescience stuff. Cool though and I think the loyalists could use a psyker heavy legion.

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Whoever is formatting the 1d4chan article to something vaguely readable, you're a bro. I can actually work out what the hell is going on now.

>>34455674

Hmmm, not sure about all that yet. Probably need to read about the other primarchs and establish Darius's personality and legion structure/tactics first.

>>34455699
Check out the wiki page. Here http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_/tg/_Heresy
It'll probably help sorting out where you fit and there's a rought timeline of events

>>34455683

Hmm well how about compared to your hit and run guerrilla stealth tactics, my legion likes to show up en mass, using their powers to show the correct place to be? So we're more like "We know where you are, you have to fucking fight us now!" while you're more "haha I know all your weak points and you'll never catch me"

>>34455727
Alright. Sounds good. And seeing as you're loyalist and I'm traitor it makes for a good bit of balance.

>>34455712

ya been reading through it. Should I just add all my fluff to my section, or is someone going to proof read everything then add it later?

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As a babe, the Primarch whould come to be known as Golgothos crash landed on a desolate, grey planet known as Sepulchra. The surface of Sepulchra were inhospitable badlands, with gale force winds kicking up dust storms which could rip the flesh off a man. Fortunately, Golgothos' pod crashed with such force that it pierced through the surface into the caverns below, and it is in these caverns that Golgothos made his home.

As a child, Golgothos lived by foraging for caveworms and scraping moss off of walls. As he grew, he began to hunt larger and larger game. The beasts of Sepulchra fell to his bare hands, and Golgothos would consume everything, leaving only the bones behind.

However, Golgothos' life was not safe, for deep within the caverns lived a clan of Orks. Many times as he was feeding, Golgothos would be discovered by wandering Orks, and be forced to flee. For many years he was forced to live cautiously, fleeing before the echos of Ork grunts.

It was not until he was a man grown that Golgothos chose to face the Orks in battle. The Orks had driven all game from the caverns, and so Golgothos was starving. Delirious and exhausted, Golgothos wandered passageways he had never been to before. Stumbling around a bend, he happened upon three Orks, arguing over the roasting corpse of a cave drake. Golgothos attacked the Orks with a ferocity he did not know he had posessed, kicking, clawing, biting, with his screams of fury echoing across the planet. The Orks never stood a chance.

After that, armed with an Ork Choppa, Golgothos grew to enjoy hunting orks. The Orks came to call him "Da skellytun in da caves," and told eachother tales of the bony creature which ripped apart Orks with its bare hands. Eventually, Warboss Skullgub decided he had had enough, and rallied his Orks to hunt Golgothos.

>>34455749

Add it in. We'll edit it later.

>>34455755
For months, Skullgub harried Golgothos. While Golgothos was mighty, he could not face hordes of Orks at once, and so he was forced to make numerous tactical retreats. Fleeing before the echoing CLANKS of Skullgub's mega armour, Golgothos came upon a pair of massive metal blast doors. Golgothos had never seen anything man made before, and so he marveled at the doors. However, he was quickly ripped out of his confusion by the CLANK CLANK CLANK of skullgub's approach. Golgothos banged his fists against the control panel in desperation, and miraculously, the door opened.

Within, Golgothos found polished metal hallways, with deep recesses in the walls. In each recess he found the ancient, dusty remains of a man: Golgothos had happened upon a crashed Catacomb Ship from the dark age of technology. He went deeper into the ship, looking for some choke point or other tactical advantage, and found it: A door leading into a personal Tomb. He looked within, and found, laying on a Beir, a well dressed skeleton. The skeleton was decorated with gold jewelry and gems, as well as medals which marked him as a military officer. On the officer's hand, dull grey and coated with a layer of dust, was an ancient Power Fist. With his mighty new weapon, and an advantageous choke point, Golgothos was able to drive off Skullgub's Orks.

The Discovery had confused Golgothos, however. He had never seen another human being before, never even conceived of the possibility that there were others. And yet, here in this catacomb, he had found the skeletal remains of hundreds of men. Golgothos began to think that Men were gods, or perhaps demons, meant to torment the Orks. He spent the next few years guarding the catacombs, and tending to the remains of what he believed to be fallen gods.

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>>34455763
Eventually, Skullgub managed to corner Golgothos away from home as he was hunting. Outnumbered, outmatched, and staring down the gob of a gigantic mega armoured warboss, Golgothos called out to the gods for aid. With a loud CRASH, the roof before him caved in, and before Golgothos' tear-filled eyes was a Drop Pod of the Imperium of Man. From this Drop Pod emerged the Emperor himself, along with some of his mighty Space Marines. The Emperor cleaved Skullgub in two with his mighty power sword, and the Marines made short work of the remaining Orks.

The Emperor offered Golgothos a mighty legion to lead, and Golgothos required no convincing. As far as Golgothos was concerned, before him stood the King of the Gods, and such a being should not be questioned. The Emperor did not approve of Golgothos' superstition, but at least it was superstition of human superiority. Golgothos was given the VI Legion, which he named The Entombed.

The Entombed maintain Golgothos' faith to this day, believing humans to be Gods, sent to punish impure and inferior xenos. They guard their fortress monastary, called the Catacomb, and pay much respect to the dead.

>>34455605
Golgothos was discovered late, which is why he was given a legion with such a major gene seed defect, so he'll be 23rd.

Perhaps an IRC channel to discuss all this would be a good idea? It'd allow on the fly revisions and brainstorming, if require more faithful use of the Google doc.

>>34455845
I approve Brennus.

>>34455755
>>34455763
>>34455769
I really like this background. It's one of the only ones where the Primarch lives completely alone before the intervention of the emperor.

It also reminds me that my Primarch needs a new background.

>>34455845

Please not the sup/tg/ channel. I can never get that bastard to ever work.

(Note: I cannot into "Void Privateers". It doesn't roll off the tongue and I don't see how Space Marines can be Privateers, even figuratively.)

Ciban is a beautiful world, rich in life and natural resources. A lucky world, too, for the backwoods of one of its many squabbling kingdoms would be the nursery for a primarch, child of the Emperor's brilliance. The child was found, taken in, and named by sturdy farming folk. As Gaspard Lumey grew, he was taught firmly that his strengths were gifts to share with the whole community, not private blessings. For any normal child, this would be a sound moral instruction for living a humble communal life.

Being anything but normal, Lumey measured the elites of Ciban by the ethics of his adopted parents, and found the aristocrats sorely lacking. He became determined to change the whole world, and set out for the great cities of Ciban while still a fresh-faced youth. Lumey would master many weapons in his life, but his first great blows were struck with the pen. Pitilessly and tirelessly he attacked the status quo, exposing the hypocrisy of Ciban's rulers and summoning the people to arms. And when they took up arms, it was Lumey who directed their struggles, converting scattered uprisings into a great tide of change.

Needless to say, Lumey's first meeting with the Emperor of Mankind was a little awkward. A lengthy argument, often erupting into shouting, ensued. But eventually, Lumey conceded the point: the strong had a responsibility to protect the weak. With that settled, the Emperor invited Lumey to take up the destiny for which he had been birthed, and command of the Fifth Legion.

Woah, stuff happened. Better get fluffing - also I'll have a surprise for y'all later

>>34455895

Do you like the extended Fight scene I did?

>>34454057
>>34454129
>>34454176
>>34454201

>>34455902

That is pretty much perfect. Thanks anon, you're bretty cool

>>34455882
If Lumey's first meeting with the Emperor had been difficult, his interactions with the other Primarchs were outright impossible. In Lumey's eyes, his brothers were a gang of autocrats-in-waiting, barely restrained by the benevolent dictatorship of the Emperor. To the other primarchs, Lumey was impetuous, suspect, and often obnoxious. Relations were so bad that as the Heresy erupted neither side sought out the Void Angels, fearing that Lumey would reject whatever was first put in front of him, just out of his contrary nature. Only once the fifth Legion began moving towards Terra was contact made. Lumey could, perhaps, have found a more insulting way to assert his loyalty, but informing the Emperor that he trusted no other man at least settled the matter. The Void Angels would shed their blood and bile in defence of mankind's homeworld.

(I don't need volunteers to have a bad relationship with Lumey, though if someone wants to front up to dance with the Void Angels on Terra that'd be neat. I see the fifth as generalists, though Lumey refuses to even consider the Codex.)

>>34455605
Gaspard Lumey is unlucky 13.

>>34456059
Also, Lumey is still alive-ish in the 40ks. He spends a great deal of time slumbering in stasis, but awakens irregularly to inspect his legion and make sure that his nominal second-in-command (the de facto leader of the Void Angels) is on the level. I think that Golgothos is the other surviving Loyalist, and they probably don't have much to talk about...

Hey I'm back, what's happened since the last thread?

>>34456177
Some Primarchs got killed, a few Second Foundings happened, and two of the less developed (abandoned?) legions got repurposed.

>>34456177
Lots of fluff and write-faggotry mostly. There were talks about making an IRC but that didn't go anywhere.

>>34456177

Wiki no longer looks like shit

>>34456207
An irc would be good.

>>34456177
>>34456200
>>34456207
Black Augurs got a complete overhaul as well.

>>34456207
On re-reading your origin story, Gaspard and Darius might get on. Alternatively, they despise one another.

>>34450056
I call 2 or 3 then.

>>34456254

Three is yours. We need a super-loyal Primarch in the top three as the Russ-like loyal Primarch

>>34456237

Darius is a philosophical yet judicious man. Due to his upbringings he has a very spiritual demeanor, though he has cast off religion in favor of the Imperial Truth. He enjoys visiting and counseling his brothers, as their father once counseled him. He often quotes various proverbs and challenges his brothers to think outside the box when they are presented with difficult decisions which annoys more than a few of them (I'm assuming).

On occasion he will provide them with cryptic prophecies, though he dares not look too far into the future after being traumatized with what he saw the first time he did so. While he tries to maintain a humble desposition, many are unsettled when they look into his warp tainted eyes, or feel he is looking down on them with his riddles

>>34456262
That does fit with the Crusaders role as a peacekeeping force. I don't mind playing the Legion as kind of a bully.

Added some writefaggotry about the Thunder Kings and Brennus' final decision to leave and burn Alessia. Would appreciate commentary, never written for 40k before.

>>34456363
As a man of reason, Gaspard doesn't have any time for prophecy or spirituality. However, he really does enjoy discussing philosophy so, if Darius is patient enough to deal with the barbed exterior and the barbed interior, the two of them would have had something to talk about. The cryptic remarks to spur thinking would probably grow on Gaspard if the two spent much time together, and he's unlikely to think less of Darius for the cast of the man's eyes.

So, are we space-bros, or did it blow up in a big shouting match that never got mended (because Heresy)?

Children are 3rd if thats still available, or 13th failing that.

Is The Knights Draconian still a thing? What did the Chapter Master formerly known as Johannes Galilei change his name to?

Also the Rams aren't on the wiki list of primarchs at the beginning.

>>34456434

Space-bros. Hmm I'm still trying to decide Darius's role in the heresy. How would Hektor try to deal with Darius knowing his brother has powerful sorcery and divination at his command?

>>34456456
Knights Draconian are still a thing and their first Chapter Master was Nicholai Galilei.

>>34456466
By having someone equally powerful in sorcery in divination but much more self interested and more detached from the empire. Also known as me.

>>34456434
Gaspard, being a man of reason you must know not to discount spirituality and prophecy. I, and your brother Darius, can show you how real it is. Even the Emperor himself can prove magic, or at least the seemingly magical art of psykers, is very very real.

>>34456456
The Crusaders are 3rd now.

>>34456498

So we're pretty much rivals then? How was our relations before the heresy? did Voidwatcher think I was some kind of smug ass and always try to be better than me, or did you just kind of brush me off through-out the crusade

>>34456498
You're not the first person who has tried to tell me what I must think. The others went to the guillotine.

>>34456456
>>34456518
Oh, and 13th is taken by Void Angels. Sorry, Lumey's a jerk like that!

>>34456518
argh, okay. 6th then, if thats still open?


I have updated the Children's Wiki entry. Will look through the rest of the wiki now and clean up what I can.

>>34456546

I called 6th

>>34456552
>>34456546
Jesus Christ, how brutal.

>>34456561
Now we know the real reason for Uriel turning traitor.

File: you_wot_m8.gif (954 KB, 320x240)

954 KB GIF

>>34456580
>>34456561
>>34456552
>pic related
Jesus I started the Horus Heresy, but i can't call a goddamned number...

And as far as you loyalists go, you think I'm still Loyal. Very few people know we were behind the entire heresy.

what numbers a left then? the list isnt exactly up to date...


And are the Battle Rams still about? What is there new name?

>>34456521
Well I'd imagine that we'd be put on opposite ends of the crusades. No need for the two psyker/mystic legions to be together. But I don't think we'd really be at odds with each other or enemies. Just different styles and focuses.

>>34456524
I'm not going to try and tell you what to think. I'm going to show you. When you see the future projected directly into your minds eye, or when a man dodges a bullet fired point blank behind him you'll know that the powers that I and Darius wield are very very real.

>>34456625
I am well aware of the effects of channeled Immateria. What I don't believe is that this has any connection to clerical shibboleths. The Warp is neither heaven nor hell, but simply an ill-understood part of reality.

>>34456622

Sorry, didn't mean to come off as rude. If you want 6 you can have it, though according to the wiki 5 is still open if you want to be before me. I'll take either or.

>>34456673
no thats perfect - i'll take 5

>>34456668
Then why does it defy all reason? Why does it react so well to chanting and ceremonies and the burning of incense? You can approach it as a science, the Imperium does that right now, but only those who embrace it's complete unrealness can master it.

>>34456622
I think the Battle Rams are now the Horns of Ruin - the stuff on the wiki looks like what Kranios was talking about last time I read his posts.

And yeah, we know, 'in-character' you're as Loyal as the day is long.

>>34456695
For centuries primitive man believed that the ocean was so, a mystical realm ruled over by deities which had to be placated through superstitious nonsense. True, we do not yet know how to tame the Warp, but only a backwards savage would try to understand by giving up understanding.

The Immortals

The prestiged 1st company of the Omegon Annihilators. This company was originally the one that the emperor gave to Darius to conquer his home world. As the 1st company, every member is equipped with terminator armor, power shotel and storm bolters though many favored trading in their bolters for storm shields instead. Sargents of the Immortals are always psykers trained in the arts of divination and pyromancy and given a Force shotel instead. In order to keep up the illusion that they are truly immortal, the 1st company was always kept at 100%. Upon death an Immortals armor will instantly teleport them back into space where a ship can retrieve their corpse and equipment. A suitable member from the legion is then elected to replace the fallen immortal, being listed as KIA and taking on the name of the previous immortal.

>>34456734
It is the realm where understanding fails. It is populated by spirits made manifest purely of the emotions and actions of the physical world. The laws of reality do not apply to it as we know them. The ancient sea did not actually contain really beings with real power in the universe. One does not need to be submerged in the warp to feel the effects of the entities that live there. The hard facts of the matter is that cold science fails and crumbles to nothing in the face of the Warp and all it's twisting madness. There mysticism, rituals, and primal emotion rule, they are the only way to control the warp. Well, right now. Once a being reaches a state where they can even begin to comprehend it's vast insanity can one hope to control it in any rational sense. That being said they only way to get to that state are through the practice of magic.

To go out of character for a moment, seriously, look at all the most powerful psykers and psychic beings in the galaxy, their power over it has nothing to do with understanding it in some scientific way.

>>34456705
Thanks, and cool.
Update my wiki entry to use the Battle Rams new name.

If no-one else minds, I'm gonna expand and fill out the Bulwark?

In the original creators fluff they went renegade/neutral at the heresy, and had their own super fortified empire - rather than have our AU's version of the Iron Cage be on one planet as I originally wrote it, I was gonna make it a system wide thing, so that the ''Crucible'' takes place over several mega-fortified worlds instead of just one, to reflect the fact 2 loyalist legions are meant to be besieging them instead of on Terra...