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After one of the trippiest teleportation sequences ever, you land the two ex-hostages in… well, that’s not important now. The main thing to focus on is the fact that they’re safe and you gotta get back up there.
“You’re one of the defense attorneys, right?” asks Stanislav. “You’re not stopping me from getting back up there and giving those bastards what they deserve. They killed my workers, people I was supposed to manage! Who do you think you are, ordering me around?”
“Defense attorney is only one of the many jobs I’m qualified for. Special Insurance Agent Kaguya. Leave this to the professionals,” you reply. “If you’re worried about your job, you’re only in charge of the 12th floor employees.”
“That’s not the point,” he coughs out.
“Miss!” the second person you rescued says in a thick accent. “My brother, he might be in there. Brainwashed by the Nazis. You must free him, please.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another hostage to save.”

You teleport back into the prison arm. Unfortunately, it appears that the last hostage left in the 2 or 3 minutes you spent off the ship. In fact, she left so fast that it’s almost as if she hated you. She looks like a new employee, so it doesn’t really make any sense how she would know you. Well, she did look a bit familiar, now that you think about it. Should you think about it? There’s also the question of where she could’ve went. You could go down the hallway or check the security guard room. And, as always, there could also be another avenue of action you weren't aware of.

>>34353647
Go to the party supplies room.

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>>34353704
You teleport an entire arm away. You're not sure why the party supplies room is full of chemical weapons, however. There's also a box of hats in the middle of the floor.

>>34353913
*Correction: two arms.

>>34353913
Equip all the hats.

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>>34353982
How unprofessional. And if there's anything you live by, it's professionalism. Still, it appears that equipping one will give a tangible bonus. Maybe the loss of a little professionalism is worth the stat buff?

>>34354193
ALL. THE. HATS.

>>34354193
Well, you're already pretty good in the looks department, and your book is coming along pretty well, so go with the party hat. You'll be able to come up with even wittier comebacks to Slick's dickery.

>>34354193
Check the hats for dangerous electronics.

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>>34354346
You don't really have anything to check them for that.

>>34354269
You allow yourself a mental giggle in thinking about your book. Even though you haven't been working on it for a few months, you're sure it's exactly what the world needs. You reach towards the party hat -
>>34354269
PAIN PAIN YOUR PROFESSIONALISM PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN WHY DID YOU GRAB ALL OF THEM PAIN PAIN PAIN

>>34354447
On the bright side, your most vital stats are now buffed. It's like you leveled up 3 times in a row.

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Professionalism... fading...

>>34354652
INVEST STOCKS. MANAGE PORTFOLIOS. SHAKE HANDS. DO ANYTHING TO SAVE IT.

>>34354652
Wear the flower as a lapel on your shirt. Think of the conical hat and wide-brimmed hat as two parts of a single wizardly hat.

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>>34354774
Wizard hat? Unfortunately, you didn't pick any perks in general wizarding. You'd be arrested by the wizard police without the proper qualifications.

>>34354696
Good point, maybe capitalism can save the day! You're not even really a communist, just protecting some friends no matter what.
...
There's nothing like that around you. You didn't even bring your wallet. Maybe if you -
BWUUUUUUGH.

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You wake up to find a Nazi doctor by your bedside. Expecting to be experimented on, you try to break the restraints. Only there are no restraints.
"Hello fraulein! When the soldiers found you, they were ready to kill you. But of course, the Japanese are Honorary Aryans. In our new world, all the Aryans and Honorary Aryans should help each other, even if one is still inferior. Would you like anything? And what are you doing on this ship, anyways?"

You might need to get out of here. Then again, it appears that you're safe for now. What should you tell him?

>>34355206
Scream and break into a spastic fit. Maybe he'll leave and you'll have time alone to figure out a plan.

>>34355206
Start speaking Japanese at him. Maybe he'll go away.

>>34355206
Thank him for rescuing you from Capitalist lands. We can tell him we were kidnapped by the Russian capitalists and that we'd like to return to our homeland if possible. Assuming one of our other ruses doesn't distract him.

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>>34355276
Don't you remember what happened last time you did that? The diplomatic mission in Paris? Let's not have a repeat of that political shitstorm.

>>34355382
He'd bring you to communist South Japan, not the Hokkaido Prefecture in North Japan. You'd be hung for simply being born in the wrong place.

>>34355302
You put forth your best "nani?".
He says in fluent Japanese "sorry", followed by a translation of what he just told you in German.
He also adds, "I studied Japanese very quickly by working with your people during the Great War. I was a very big help during the Rape of Nanking. So many... unclean people were eliminated on that day. A great day."

This guy isn't making you feel good about anything. What do you want to try next?

>>34355485
Ask for our hats back then murder him.

>>34355590
You must get the hats. You've tasted the power they grant, you cannot go without it.

>>34355485
Ask where those hats are. We might be able to use them as a form of undignified chloroform on any of the guards.

Let's just hope no-one you know saw you pass out while wearing multiple hats.

>>34355485
>Seduce

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>>34355760
You have trouble just trying to pretend you could like a mass-murderer of hundreds of thousands of innocent people.

>>34355590
>>34355607
>>34355615
You ask about the hats.
"Ah, those. It seems that wearing multiple hats causes you to rapidly lose consciousness. It most likely has to do with your inferior race, but might just be due to the sheer embarrassment of wearing three hats at the same time. But I suppose I can give you a hat as a gift. Pick one."

Swastika-obsessed freaks.

>>34355821
+2 DEF

Stab him with it!

>>34355821
Take the helmet and stab him with it.

>>34355821
ALL OF THEM. TAKE ALL OF THEM. THEN OFFER UP THIS FOOL'S SOUL TO HATHULHU.

>>34355821
Take the peaked cap.

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>>34355875
>>34355878
>>34355889
You stab the doctor with the helmet, but have no intention to kill anyone. So you then knock him out cold with the metal helmet, assisted by Hathulhu.

You look around the medical bay. There's one other patient, who was apparently shot, somehow. He's unconscious. Otherwise, it's almost bare-bones. No weapons or anything like that.

But someone might come to investigate the doctor. You could take the wounded man's disguise, now that you think of it. The visor could hide your face.

>>34356135
Better yet, use his coat as a cloak. You can ninja around the ship like a cool person, stabbing anyone you encounter.

>>34356135
Better yet, peel the doctor's face off and wear it as a mask along with his clothes.

FOOLPROOF!

>>34356202
Use the rest of his skin as a cloak. You can become Flesh Ninja! Just like in your book!

>>34356197
Is that racist?

>>34356218
Tear out his ribs and sharpen them for some bone throwing knives! Tear off his tibia and use it as a blackjack! Remove his lower jaw to use as a fishhook!

>>34356135
>Put on doctor disguise
>Put body in a closet

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>>34356218
Flesh Ninja isn't Hannibal Lecter, he's an eldritch hero made out of week-old steak.

>>34356303
You're not a psychotic serial killer and mutilator, believe it or not.

>>34356197
>>34356390
You put on the doctor's outfit and then shove him under the bed due to a lack of a closet. It's a bit bloody, but maybe you can bluff your way through that problem later. You can now make your way to the main hub and try to shut the ship down from there, unless you have another idea.

>>34356515
Hide under a bed and make ninja noises with your mouth.

>But ninjas don't make any sou-

EXACTLY.

>>34356515
Use your visor to see how fashionable you are.

>>34356515
Naw let's go.

>>34356515
Ninja ourself into a hiding spot and ready our helmet for backstabs.

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>>34356748
>>34356617
Your sneak skill is only around 15. It doesn't offer a good chance for an ambush plan.

>>34356630
Like a Nazi visor would - hey, this thing is running the same software as a Prelestny Fashion pair of glasses! What a bunch of pirates.

>>34356662
You find that the brainwashed, lower-rank guards leave you alone well enough. This is until you run into what appears to be a commander.
"You... you don't look very much like yourself, doctor," he says.
"Um, lab experiment gone wrong?" you offer.
"Are you really the doctor?"

>>34356846
Say something racist. Quick.

>>34356846
Tell him you always wanted to be a little asian girl.

>>34356846
"Yes."

>>34356870
AH HATES ME SOME JEWS! JEWS ARE BADWRONG!

(go over to some prisoner)

BAD JEW! BAD BAD JEW!

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>>34356908
Somehow, that doesn't seem like the right thing to say.

>>34356870
>>34356922
"I think that... Jews are... just average?" you say. You're just really not comfortable with this whole racism thing.
"Step into my office, imposter." His gun convinces you to follow his order.

You're in his office. Any bright ideas?

>>34357097
Wait for the shadowy man behind the door to make his move. He seems reliable.

>>34357097
Grovel at his feet, then when he lets his guard down, headbutt him in the testiculars.

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>>34357138
What shadowy-

The guard is knocked out with a helmet not unlike the one you had before. The man steps forward.
"Alright you Nazi... you are a Nazi, right?" he asks.
Isn't that Slick's brother? And doesn't he usually wear glasses? And have a really hard time with women?

Maybe you can find out NEXT TIME BUDDY-O. Part 14 is done. Good night, beautiful people!

>>34357256
Thanks for the thread, guy.

Again next Saturday?

>>34357336
I hope so, man, or my name isn't Wellington Forthwit.