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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: MGNQ 2nd OP.png (430 KB, 1000x1500)
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You are a Magical Girl, and ever since you were informed of your promotion by your Incubator back at that airport, as you waited for your plane to Siberia - you've been struggling with the idea of being Warmaster of your own Officio.

Try as you might, it had never really sunk in. Sure, you've been enjoying the perks - being stiffly saluted by everyone you bumped into was a unique experience, one far removed from the usual scowling disdain you've grown accustomed to. The new apartment, the grand office, even your personal vault to house the Weapons forged from the shattered soul of the insane goddess inside your Shield - they weren't that important, not really, but they were nice. They certainly helped make the onerous, hateful duty of doing fucking paperwork tolerable, if not at least survivable.

You also had the hat, and more recently the greatcoat - two icons that loudly declared your rank to everyone you met. They were admittedly on the gaudy side, with all the gold piping, braiding and the skulls - but they carried with them the authority of your rank. They showed everyone that you were the boss, and what the boss says goes. They proclaimed your rarified superiority even more than the Golden Desert Eagle holstered at your side, or the Shield clamped onto your arm.

And to be perfectly honest, you were...getting used to the hat. Maybe the greatcoat's a bit excessive, but the hat was alright. Sometimes, you even forgot you were wearing it. It felt like you were meant to wear it, as frightening and disturbing as it sounds.
>>
>>34317475

Regardless of everything, though, here you are. You never expected to be elevated to this kind of rank. Maybe a squad leader, sure, or maybe even a Rank Leader. Never Warmaster. Never the right hand of the mutant cat you so despised.

You never expected this. Hell, you never asked for this. But here you are, and here it is.

The day you get finally get ratified as the Warmaster of the Ninth Officio Assassinorum.

Marched to your throne by none other than your retinue, with Sayaka proudly hoisting a battle standard bearing your chosen emblem high above her head as she marched in front - you take a moment to pan your gaze at your assembled Officio. Two thousand Magical Girls, more or less, standing to attention. Transformed and wearing formal regalia over their costumes. Every single one of them staring at you, watching your every move.

"Chiaki Matsuda." A voice calls out, echoing in your mind, as well as in the mind of every magical girl inside the hall - your name uttered with pure authority despite its high-pitched, childlike voice.

There's a lessening of the palpable weight upon your shoulders as the attention of the entire room shifts from you to the Incubator making its way down the center aisle - a rarely-transformed Tomoe Mami easily keeping pace beside the white furry creature.

This sight takes your breath away more than anything else - even as she'd stepped away from active duty to handle most of the Officio's affairs with Kyuubey, Mami still looked perfect in her Magical Girl form. Still beautiful. Still deadly.

You see her wink and smile just as she stops at the edge of your throne's platform - while Kyuubey himself continues forward, stopping only a few paces away in front of you.

"On this day, in this place, you have been chosen to lead my Officio - by your peers and your superiors. You have completed the requisite training period, as well as the tasks required of you admirably and with efficiency."

[1/2]
>>
>most exciting time of the day.jpg
>>
IMMINENT DISASTER ABOUT TO STRIKE!!!
>>
It's the most magical time of the day! Threadlike reminder that Mami a shit, Yuma did nothing wrong and That NECO is best girl.
>>
>>34317522
arguably it already did back at the airport.
>>
>assassination attempt in 5..4..3
>>
>>34317527
Yeah, but now everyone is there to witness the horrible disaster.

Just wait. I bet its the Homura of this dimension thats going to burst in and attack for maximum disaster.
>>
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>>34317524
>>
>>34317507

...Huh. Well, you suppose you didn't embarrass the entire Officio too much during the Kirishima Ruri op, and Big Shell went as fine as it could have. Still, it's strange to hear the mutant cat bastard praising you in front of everyone.

"...As such, here and now, I declare and ratify you Warmaster of the Ninth Officio Assassinorum. You are beholden to no one in this Officio except to me. You answer to no one but me. You are above all others, except by your Incubator. Your authority is absolute and all-encompassing, unless I deem otherwise. Do you understand?"

You nod in reply. Well, not like you have a problem with that. Not yet, anyway.

Kyuubey continues, his round crimson eyes bright. "Should you befall a fate that hinders your ability to perform your duties, or if your Equerry deems you unfit, she will take your place as Warmaster until either you are retrieved, recovered, or replaced. Do you understand?"

You nod again, just as you turn the slightest bit to get Sayaka in your field of vision. She's...trying her hardest not to smirk.

"Very well. Do you have any words before we update your record?"

How do you respond?

[]I do. (Write-in)
[]...I'll be the best Dildo Emperor I can be, I guess.
[]The Blessed Lady protects.
[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317552
>[disaster intensifies]
>>
Keep the paranoia under control, chaps.

Lets not overreact to phantom disasters while we're waiting on the real ones to show up.
>>
>>34317560
[X] Desperately beg help from Dildoes on what to say.
>>
>>34317560
[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>[]The Blessed Lady protects.
>>
>>34317560
>[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
Now is not the time for spaghetti. who am i kidding its always time for spaghetti
>>
>[] quietly mumble "I am not Kharn. You're kneecaps are mine"
>>
>>34317560
>[x]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
We're not good with speeches.
>>
Threadly reminder that the updated eBook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb
link to the Fanart gallery: http://wiki.magicalgirlnoir.com/index.php/Fanart
link to the journal pastebin: http://pastebin.com/SZkxPycM
Although the pastebin has everything that's listed in the in-quest journal, there's probably tons of shit that needs to be added to the pastebin that's not actually in the in-quest journal.
>>
>>34317560
>[X]I do.
>Thank you all for never giving up on me. I won't give up on any of you, either.
>>
>>34317560
[x]The Blessed Lady protects.

Those that know will get the joke. Those that don't won't think anything of it.
>>
>>34317595
We're great with them, if we want to be.

[X] Mouth the words that Mami told us to say
>>
>>34317560
>[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>Fire your gun into the ceiling.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.

Most in-character option.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]The Blessed Lady protects.
a
>>
>>34317560
>Gesture to shield. "A duty to protect the interests of the Officio. I'll do the best I can."
>>
>>34317560
>[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>[X] Skulls for the skull throne!
>>
>>34317560
[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.

Yeah, I got nothing. We've shown our dedication to the job quite nicely I think?
>>
>>34317560
>[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>[]Pinky protects
nah, just kidding
>[x]Contain spaghetti
>>
>>34317560
>[X]I do.
>[X]Flesh of the Fallen Angels.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]I do. (Write-in)

>>34317575
ask Dildoes. She knows ow to impress. Can't come up with something good myself unfortunately.
>>
>>34317560
>[]The Blessed Lady protects.
Just to see what happens.
>>
>>34317693
In hindsight perhaps its better to be quiet instead right now. While Dildoes could probably say something cool, being quiet in this instance is probably more Chiakis style.

>>34317575
Heck, changing my vote to:
[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.

Don't trust TG to solidify around a write-in, so just go with this for maximum caution.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]Channel Dildoes
>>
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>>34317560
[x]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
[x]Undo Ponytail
[x]Hairflick before you answer for maximum effect
>>
>>34317560
>[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317560
>[X]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317719
Glorious.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317719
I have to agree.
>>
>>34317719
Now, hang on. This could be a bad plan. We're wearing the hat, remember - we don't want to cause any incidents.

Sploosh.
>>
>>34317560
>[]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
Keep your mouth shut!
>>
>>34317524
This post is so true I think it burned through the entire thread's truth supply in one shot.
>>
>>34317560
>[x]Shake your head no. You don't want to spoil this moment.
>>
>>34317759
Yes we do.
>>34317560
This please;>>34317719

While channelling the Dildoe to give it extra spice.
>>
>>34317560
[x]The Blessed Lady protects.
>>
File: Voting-Banner_Chiaki.png (222 KB, 800x800)
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>>34317560
It looks like silence is golden.
>>
>>34317803
new golden weapon confirmed
>>
>>34317803
Mumi's the word.
>>
>>34317803
MAKES A FUCKING CHANGE
>>
>>34317560
>[]I do. (Write-in)
"Rule number #1: Don't fuck up"
"Rule number #2: Don't forget rule number 1"
>>
>>34317838
There is always one.
>>
>>34317838
Maybe add that in at the end of our closing speech.
>>
File: Nendos.png (32 KB, 413x300)
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I haven't had much chance to work on any drawings this week, but I did advance on the swimsuit pin-up picture a bit. Could I ask someone to upload it for me? The file size is too large for my phone to upload with spazzing.

In the meantime, here are some nendos
>>
>>34317838
it's more of a personal mantra: Not something we need to share with the Officio.

The officio-wide version is

Rule #1: Don't Fuck Up, Or I Will Blow Your Fucking Knees Off
>>
>>34317846
Mobile internet.
>>
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>>34317881
Gotcha covered.
>>
>>34317881
10/10 would buy in copious amounts.
>>
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>>34317881
Cute.
>>
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>>34317719
Why does Homura look so god damn cool when she flicks her hair?
>>
>>34317898
Forgiven.

>>34317901
Looking brilliant Hat! I remember when you first started posting your own art, and it's come on leaps and bounds.
>>
>>34317901

Thanks! I'm really happy with how the shading is coming along in this one. It's just really helped to adding contrast, hahaha

Also, I'm kind of amused because Chiaki's butt has gotten more compliments than Midori's boobs
>>
>>34317901
>dat butt
>dem hips
>>
>Put on your hat
>Loosen your shirt
>Channel Slaanesh
>Take over the world by sexing every meguca into submissin.
>>
>>34317963
Dafuq?
>>
>>34317960
Boobs are just fake butts, after all
>>
>>34317960
It's because she's standing in a way that emphasizes her butt to take anon's mind away from her green.

Look at her, she knows exactly what she's doing!
>>
>>34318024
the other way around, plebe
>>
File: tee hee.jpg (97 KB, 843x700)
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>>34317921
Years of practice
>>
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>>34318024
>Boobs are jsut fake butts
>not the other way around

YOU TAKE THAT BACK
>>
>>34318024
>>34318044
gentlemen please, boobs and butts are glorious in their equal splendor, appreciate both at the same time for their magnificence and do not squabble
>>
File: Edit - P1210042.jpg (1.88 MB, 2346x1760)
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>>34317881
>nendos
2cute, Hat.
>>
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>>34318061
Listen to this wisdom, anon's.
>>
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>>34318088
Looks awesome.
>>
>>34318119
>2 fucking frames

Anon pls.
>>
>>34318102
>.gif
>doesn't move
>>
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>>34318061
>>34318059
>>34318044

Butts > Tits

This is a fact.
>>
>>34318134
>I have no idea why it say's gif.
>>
>>34318061
but one is clearly superior than the others. lets seem one excretes milk and the one excretes shit. you see what im talking about?
>>
>>34318135
I wish you never find a partner with a nice ass just to spite you for your faggotry.

You either enjoy both or none at all.
>>
>>34318158
*see
>>
>boobs vs butts
heh
>>
>>34317963
>>34318024
>>34318135
Shouldn't you be working on the next post Decu?
>>
>>34318176
Anons have no soul at all.
>>
>>34318181
Butt Nubum, aren't we all a little Decu deep inside?
>>
pink butt > black butt > blue butt > red butt > disgusting yellow butt

blue boobs > red boobs > black boobs > pink boobs > fat lump yellow boobs
>>
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>>34318212
Understandable that anons cannot handle a real woman.
>>
>>34318200
I thought everyone in this thread are all homus?
>>
>>34318228
A real fat woman.
>>
>>34318249
#rekt
>>
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>>34318181
>>
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>>34318249
Well she is full of cream
>>
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>>34318228
>real woman
she's not real, anon
>>
>>34318286
As real as any anon here will ever get.
>>
>>34318269
Full of man cream.
>>
>>34318302
of course, by collorary you might say she's as real as any anon here.
>>
>>34318166
>Being this upset over the superiority of butts

I hope you will find someone to re-enact this webm with and cuddle afterwards this year
>>
My god... What have I done... What have I done...
>>
>>34318303
That. Yeah. That's the joke.
>>
>>34318341
Started an argument with a below-average amount of shitposting?
>>
>>34317881
d'awww

>>34317901
dayum
>>
>>34318341
Just like the assassination of Franz Ferdinand was a catalyst for World War 1, your drawn butts have been the catalyst for the Great MGNQ Buttwar of ZeroFourteen.
>>
>>34318267
What's this from?
>>
>>34318341
You shouldn't have mentioned the compliments for one and not the other.

This shit-posting is so poor.
>>
shh, shh.

Let the music sooth all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xixTiB6tJTM
>>
>107 post
>qm only posted twice

is this common in this quest?
>>
>>34318336
guess they're just... BUTHURT

ZING!
>>
>>34318497
very
>>
>>34318336
Way too lewd!
>>
>>34318497
MGNQ is a true monster.

The new post limits have not agreed with it's usual sprawl.
>>
>>34318497
Very.
>>
>>34318437
Reminder that Franz did everything wrong.

>unadvised trip to a country in turmoil
>survived being shot at in one attempt but kept going
>survived a botched bombing but kept going
>advised by his wife to leave as soon as possible, but decided to go to the hospital to visit those wounded in the bombing
>stopped right in front of the restaurant Princip just happened to be at long enough for both him and his wife to get shot dead

World War I was full of inbred retards.
>>
>>34318497
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to post, driving the count even closer to the bump limit.
>>
>>34318497
Yes. Decu does 2 to 4 post update like once an hour and offtopic rant is always plentiful. It might seem odd at first but we wouldn't have it any other way.
>>
>>34318546
Yes many of us would. But no need to boost the post count up arguing about the post count.
>>
Nyan Nyan
>>
>>34318576
NYAN NYAN
>>
>>34318546
>but we wouldn't have it any other way.
go floss with razorwire
>>
>>34318599
Anon, my plaque developed body armor last year. I HAVE to floss with razorwire or it doesn't do anything.
>>
>>34318581
BECAUSE KYOUKO
>>
>>34318616
One job.
>>
>>34318448
http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/sentou-jousai-masurawo-r1625
>>
>>34318528
>World War I was full of inbred retards.
Most world wars are. That's why they happen, to cleanse the gene pool.
>>
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>>34318688
>That's why they happen, to cleanse the gene pool.

Nigga you just went full Hitler.
>>
>>34318652
>That summary

Holy shit, that looks like the most NEET wish-fulfillment piece of crap I've ever seen.
>>
>>34318688
>Most world wars are. That's why they happen, to cleanse the gene pool.
That's a wrong view point... So wrong I don't even know where to start. The world is much bigger and pettier than that.
>>
>>34318688
The European leaders in WWI were actually all related and the product of inbreeding everywhere. The Tsar and Kaiser were cousins.
>>
>>34318707
>>34318735
No, Hitler describes ethnic cleansing.

I'm not talking about something which is done, but rather something that simply occurs as a consequence.
>>
I think I liked the butts vs boobs discussion better.

Hey, there's an idea: Chiaki and Midori butt-sumo
>>
>>34318779
the jews did it
>>
>>34318815
we call them incubators, son
>>
>>34317719

You shake your head no. You don't really have anything to say that warrants saying now. ...Besides you don't want to spoil the moment.

+ A wise decision. + Dildoes' frosty voice, eternally composed, murmurs in your ear. + However, allow me, if you will. This won't take a moment. +

You blink in alarm as you feel your body moving on its own, your head turning to the side, facing Kyoko - the Eversor glancing your way a moment later, puzzlement on her face. At the same time, your left hand reaches up towards your ponytail, completely on its own accord.

Wait! Wait, what the fuck is going on?! You don't want to do anything crazy during your own ratification, what is she--

+ I said leave it to me. + There's a dangerous edge in her voice. + There. Done. Now, all together--+

Your body moves again, much more quickly this time, in one sickeningly-natural motion that feels as if you'd done it a hundred times before. Your vision snapping back to the assembled Officio in front of you, just as your outflung arm lowers itself back down at your side. A palpable weight now resting against your back and warming your neck.

...

You're not quite sure what you did, but from the collective intake of breath from the hundreds of Magical Girls standing in front of you, it was...something.

Even Kyuubey seems to have been taken slightly aback, blinking a couple of times before clearing his throat. "...Yes, well. Tomoe Mami, if you would?"

A demurely-blushing Mami steps forward now, a small tablet in her hands. She taps its cobalt surface once, and the wall behind your throne lights up, from floor to ceiling - revealing itself to be the gigantic screen that it is as it displays your profile. Name, rank, kill record, all there - it even has your old portrait still, with you glaring dourly at the camera, eyebags and unwashed hair and everything.

[1/2]
>>
>>34318848

A few scattered laughs rise from the crowd, with the loudest coming from Kyoko herself - and you find yourself letting this slide, even deigning to chuckle underneath your breath. ...Yeah, fine, it's an embarrassing picture of you being a slob, but it's not like you pretended to be anything else. You probably still are. Just a bit more cleaned up.

Mami taps at her tablet again. Your rank disappears, as do your portrait. One more tap, and they're replaced, respectively, with the word 'Warmaster' - and a stolen shot of you scratching your ass in an interview booth.

Wait, what?

More laughter, now. Dispelling the tension from earlier. "My apologies, Warmaster." Mami giggles, her cheeks still red. "It was a personal request. Please, let me rectify this--"

You frown as the offending picture is replaced by a proper portrait of you - and you're struck by how much you've changed. Your eyes, well, there's nothing that can be done about that, what with the procedure - but your new portrait looks much better than the old one, for a lack of a better way of putting it. You look more focused, more...driven. Certainly a lot cleaner, anyway.

"Profile updated, Incubator." The blonde states, and Kyuubey nods. He looks at you one last time, before turning to the crowd.

"Members of the Officio Assassinorum, your new Warmaster!"

You step forward as the entire hall erupts into cheers again, loud enough to shake the building to its very foundation. Something explodes overhead - and you very nearly draw your Golden Weapon before you realize that it's just confetti poppers being set off overhead, as evidenced by the shower of ribbons and bits of colored paper falling from the ceiling. Camera flashes burst from the depths of the crowd as well as they continue to cheer, a wordless exultation that coalesces into them shouting your name over and over again. ...Your old name.

"MURDERFACE! MURDERFACE! MURDERFACE! MURDERFACE!"

It's a start, at least.

[2/3]
>>
>>34318848
>glaring dourly at the camera, eyebags and unwashed hair and everything.
good times, good times.
>>
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>>34318860

+ Wave, you idiot. + Dildo snaps. + Just a little, though, and not like you're enthusiastically trying to flag down a cab. +

Yeah. Sure. Fine. ...How come she knows so much about this kind of thing, anyway?

+ It's what I do best. Now wave. +

You do so. Allowing yourself to smile just the slightest bit as the cheers erupt again.

Maybe it won't be so bad after all, being Dildo Emperor for the rest of your days.

. . .

The cheering gradually settles down a few minutes later, and it's then that tables and tables of food are brought into the hall from the outside. You take your seat back on your throne, with Kyoko, Midori and Sayaka taking up station beside you as Mami outlines the events for the evening.

Apparently, there are quite a few events lined up to celebrate your being ratified - from a buffet dinner to a dance and even a song and dance number from a popular idol. Mami didn't quite say who the idol was, but from how the crowd applauded, it must be someone really popular.

"How are you holding up, sempai?" Midori asks you, smiling, as Kyoko takes flight from a chiding Sayaka, her formal dress cape billowing out behind her as she makes for the buffet table. "How's it feel being official now?"

How do you respond?

[]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
[]Other.
>>
>>34318860
>everything is going well

inb4 cultists attack.
>>
>>34318880
Oh no. More idols. Disasters always happen when idols are about. Its going to be a double disaster.
>>
>>34318880
>[X]Other
Check to make sure this isn't a callidus illusion
>>
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>>34318880
> even a song and dance number from a popular idol. Mami didn't quite say who the idol was, but from how the crowd applauded, it must be someone really popular.
yesssss
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.

> to a dance and even a song and dance number from a popular idol. Mami didn't quite say who the idol was, but from how the crowd applauded, it must be someone really popular.

.....

Its either Iori or Ruri.

10 bucks on Ruri. Any takers?
>>
>>34318880
>a popular idol
inb4 iori

>[X]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me.

But leave out the bit about getting fired.
>>
>>34318880
>[X]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.

I love it
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>[]Other. Where have you been all day?
>>
>>34318880
[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
[x]...I can feel the watch-wearing dildoness overtaking me. It is the pain and suffering of a thousand thousand Form I-2308b's. It is a good pain.
>>
>>34318880
>[x]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
>>
>>34318880
>Ruri
Bracing for impact.
Or worse. Iori
>>
>>34318880
[X]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
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>>34318860
> Mami giggles, her cheeks still red. "It was a personal request. Please, let me rectify this--"

Well I have a personal request too. How about Mami can kill herself. That would rectify this, wouldn't it?

See how much of a backstabbing bitch she is? She wants to ruin our reputation so she can have all the power!

REMOVE MAMI
>>
WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WITH THE EVERYONE DYING
>>
>>34318880
>It feels right.
>>
>>34318932
The day is still young, anon.
>>
>>34318930
>She wants to ruin our reputation
>implying Murderface didn't do enough of a job
>>
>>34318880
>Apparently, there are quite a few events lined up to celebrate your being ratified - from a buffet dinner to a dance and even a song and dance number from a popular idol. Mami didn't quite say who the idol was, but from how the crowd applauded, it must be someone really popular.

Aww fuck, Ruri.
>>
>>34318880
>[x]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
>>
>>34318880
>idols
Well, things were bound to go back to hell, I wasn't expecting this kind of hell but I really should have.
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34318880
>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
a
>>
>>34318880
[X] I can feel the Dildo overtaking me. It is a good pain.
>>
>>34318880
>[]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
Honestly, I didn't think we'd last this long
>>
>>34318880
>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>[x]Illusion check.
>>
>>34318880
[X]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.

Official green is looking fine.
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34318932
We'll get there in like four to seven threads, anon.
>>
>>34318880
>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
Cuz why not?
>>
>>34318880
>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34318710

What the summary doesn't tell you is that he fails his job applications because his eyes are so scary everyone thinks he's some kind of hidden killer badass. So you have this stone-faced weakass dude stacking victories through luck, pure determination and a face that makes everyone think he's hiding powerlevels he doesn't actually have.
>>
>>34318880
>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34318930
>See how much of a backstabbing bitch she is? She wants to ruin our reputation so she can have all the power!
We don't HAVE a good reputation to start with, and the only reason we have this job at all is because Mami didn't want it.
>>
>>34318880
>[]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
>>
>>34317557
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGlxg7NqTgY
>>
>>34318880
>"Waiting for the other shoe to drop".
Probably attached to a leg Chiaki just shot off at the knee
>>
>>34318943
>>34318930
But we were cleaning up our act. Mami only pretended to help us so that we have higher to fall from later. She needs to go.
>>
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>>34318880
>[x]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
>[x]. ...You look really good in that uniform, though

WHY NOT BOTH
>>
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Up in Canada somewhere.
Found what Chiaki need to get this love triangle resolved.

No seriously. Why is the milk in plastic bags?
>>
>>34318880
>>34318925
[x]...I can feel the watch-wearing dildoness overtaking me. It is the pain and suffering of a thousand thousand Form I-2308b's. It is a good pain.
>>
>>34318915
I thought it said a popular idol...
>>
"A song and dance number from a popular idol."

Man I hope it's Iori she is definitely best Idol!
>>
>>34318880

>[x]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34319039
>Why is the milk in plastic bags
It's because it tastes better. Okay, that's probably not the real reason but it's a good enough reason for me to always buy it instead.
>>
>>34319039
cheaper (for all), and better for recycling, I think.

And certainly no less resilient on a collision with the floor than a plastic jug
>>
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Lori's not a popular idol, so it can't be her, right?
>>
>>34318880
>[]...I feel the watch-wearing dildoness taking me. Can I get fired now?
>>
>>34319088
Who?
>>
>>34319060
Clearly deepthroat
>>
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>>34319074
>>34319039

Pic related. Fuckin makes no sense.
>>
>>34319107
She does have connections to our officio, after all
>>
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>>34319066
>Iori
Who?
>>
>>34319088
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was said somewhere that Iori's been losing her popularity, recently.
>>
>>34318880
>[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34319105
Probably a write-up character.
>>
>>34318913
>Its either Iori or Ruri.
Read carefully - "it must be someone really popular". There's no way that's Iori.
>>
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>>34319088
>>34319105
Can't remember.
>>
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>>34319088
Literally who?
>>
>>34318880
[]Not as shitty as I expected. ...You look really good in that uniform, though.
>>
>>34319132
Man I wish those shitty self inserts stopped showing up in the actual story. Why do I have to read write ups about some Mary Sue Iori bitch.
>>
>>34319144
>>34319122
>>34319105
>>34319143
>>34319088

Goddammit Cat what are you doing
>>
>>34319123
It was in the lori writeup I believe. Lori said that here career is basically over now that she's voicing porn.
>>
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>>34319161
Being best girl.
>>
>>34319135
Yeah, but Iori would be the most akward so its obviously going to be her. Especially since Oriko will surely attack right afterwards.

I wonder if Chiaki has noticed yet that her shield is clicking.
>>
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>>34319161
ur waifu
>>
>>34319162
but...
Ruri's doing it too?
>>
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>>34318880
>>
>>34319181
Ooh, and Midori will probably there too, right next to Chiaki.

This may be the explosion we've all been waiting for, even without Oriko.
>>
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>>34319144
no, this is literally Who
>>
>>34319193
Voicing porn is not shameful as long as you're voicing dom...
>>
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>>34319187
>>34319178
>NECO-mind

[Ominous Nyaa-ing Intensifies]
>>
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>>34318880
>that beret
>>
>>34319161
What do you mean? No cats here, just us, anons.
>>
>>34319193
It didn't occur to lori, she was angsting about her career being over to think that through.
>>
>>34319259
What if a freak accident makes Chiaki and NECO switch bodies?
>>
>>34319259
>that image
Thank you, I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.
>>
>>34319305
we get so drunk that the hangover kills at least one of us.
>>
>>34319305
And then NECO engages the shield and goes face to face with Pinky? It's the scoop of a lifetime!
>>
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>>34319259
>>
>>34319305
but anon, NECO is a Homu
>>
>>34319347
I agree, but only because it's fucking fantastic.
>>
>>34319259
>Nya-Ha-Ha-ha-HA-Ha-ha... Nya-ha-ha-ha-HA-hahaha*

*Translated from Kaijuran
>>
SUbmiT tO THe BleASIde LaDY YOu LoWlIFe
>>
>>34319382
Magia was looping in my head as I doodled that.

NYAA NYAA NYA NY-NYA NY-NYA NYA
NYAA NYAA NYA NY-NYA NY-NYA NYA
NYA NyA NYA
NYA NyA NYA
NY-NYA NY-NYA NY-NYA NY-NY-NYA-NYA-NYAAAAAAA

also I'm out. Going to go boulder again and pull the other lat
>>
>>34319388
>SUTOBASILDYYOLWIF
>SUTO BASIL DY YOL WIF
>miteledeauole
>mite led eau ole
W-what does it meeeean?
>>
>>34319443
>Fastidiously Blowy
>Aemuled Etoile
lrn 2 anagrams
>>
In all seriousness, why haven't we social linked NECO? The one thing were missing from Team Murderface is an intel officer, or anyone trained in Intel gathering really.

Why not grab That Fucking Cat? She's outside the system, not in Mumi's pocket, and skilled enough to sneak past trained megucas to crash our date with Midori.
>>
>>34319505
Of course! The fastidiously blowy etoile amulet! The six-pointed wavy star amulet of furious winds! The final creation of the mad Arabic magi Aali Jawhar.
>>
>>34319599
I thought we already had a deal with her of some sort.
>>
>>34319599
I thought we already sort of did that.
Also IC we don't really like her too much. It's not as bad as before we pelted her with tomatoes, but...
>>
>>34319599
She might be useful as an intel gatherer.
>>
>>34319599
>Why not grab That Fucking Cat?
we effectively have.

IT's the only reason she still has kneecaps. That and our inability to keep our mouth shut when it matters.
>>
>>34319505
>etoile
Blessed lady confirmed for soap-tier lesbian.
>>
>>34318848
>A demurely-blushing Mami steps forward now
>made fucking mami blush
Dildoes, you are my favorite now.
>>
>>34319599
We have plenty of... Callidi? Calliduses?

Also NECO a shit, so there's that.
>>
>>34319599

she's going to die the first time any meguca gets fed up with her and retaliates. Which is never because deculture won't harm cooldowns characters
>>
>>34319599

Because we have Midori for the Intel stuff.
Also NECO is a poor character and a terrible person and playing a quest where she is more than marginally involved is not something I would find fun.
>>
>>34319755
>Not wanting Metal Gear Nyaa Quest
>Not wanting Big Cat facing Solid Cat and Liquid Cat
>Not wanting Tactical Nyaa-spionage Action
>>
>>34319787
>Liquid Cat

Cats are already liquid though.
>>
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>>34319656
>>34319615
>>34319505
>>34319443
GUYS! I THINK WE ARE ONTO SOM-

>SUTOBASILDYYOLWIF
>Poisonous Plant
>Plant
>Plants are green
>GREEN

OH SHIT! GREEN HAIR IS THE DANGER!
>>
>>34319813
actually, cats exhibit traits of all common forms of matter.
They vanish as though into the ether.
They pass through tiny gaps like water
they are always lounging solidly in the least convienient places
>>
>>34319847
Calm your tits anon, we already knew green hair was the danger.
>>
>>34319813
>>
>>34319847
So what? Just means more fun in the bedroom
>>
>>34319882
>>34319847
>Midorin confirmed for best girl!
>>
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>>34319916

Midorin the best. Also, I love that dress uniform, holy crap
>>
>>34319945
Military uniforms the best.
>>
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>>34319945
It just keeps happening!
>>
>>34319961
not sure it was worth delaying a thread over, though.
>>
+1 post limit!
>>
>>34319974
it's the ratification, he might have more shit in store

plus he's busy as shit
>>
>>34319847
>>34319916
>>34319968
Ok, where are you guys getting these?
>>
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>>34320017
http://en.genzu.net/yurai/
>>
>>34318913

Not as shitty as you expected, you murmur as you look up at Midori from your throne. ...Things were happening way too fast earlier so you couldn't really get a good look at the green-haired Callidus, but her uniform...well, suffice to say she looks really good in it. Good enough that you couldn't help remark it to her out loud, and she crimsons at this, a playful smile curling the corners of her lips up.

"W-well, I had to make sure I looked the best for my sempai's ratification, after all," Midori grins. "I think they got my measurements wrong, though...it's still a bit tight at the front, even though I asked for them to let it out a bit..."

...It looks fine, you tell her, even though you're pretty sure that the buttons securing the front of the uniform is undergoing some very interesting amounts of tension at the moment. She looks really...well, sharp. Maybe you should get your greatcoat tailored to fit a bit more closely, too? After all, it's still cut to fit a bigger, taller frame.

"Eh?" Midori blinks, before shaking her head. "Oh, no, don't do that, sempai! It's better this way, worn around your shoulders!" She reaches out to brush some imaginary lint from your epaulettes. "It looks like a really awesome cape, and makes you look badass!"

...Badass, huh? Really?

"Of course!" Midori nods, beaming, before turning to the blue-haired Eversor standing stiffly at attention beside your throne. "Right, Miss Sayaka? The greatcoat really fits sempai, right?"

"Huh?" Your Equerry blinks at the Callidus, then at you, before smirking. "Oh, yeah, sure. Really badass. Like that western manga superhero who dresses up like a giant bat and gargles gravel while he talks."

...What, Batman? Sayaka thinks you're like Batman?

"Maybe? I don't know, I don't keep up with them much." Sayaka shrugs, before suddenly recoiling, a disgusted expression on her face. "...Christ, Murderface, are you going to cry? What, I hurt your feelings or something?"

[1/2]
>>
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>>34320063

N-no. It's...you're just touched, that's all. That's probably the nicest thing she ever said to you. You sniff here, theatrically dabbing at your eyes with a sleeve of your greatcoat.

Sayaka frowns at you, before shaking her head. "Nobody likes a smartass Warmaster, Murderface. I--" It's here, then, that Kyoko comes running back, carrying a plate in each hand - both of them piled high with food. "Christ, Kyoko, I told you to just take it slow today! It's a cheat day, sure, but you didn't have to--"

"I got enough for all four of us!" The red-haired Eversor grins as she thrusts one plate into Sayaka's hands, and the other into Midori's. "Guess who I met while lining up for the chili shrimp, though!"

"Who?" Sayaka asks as she waves some of the kitchen staff over - and immediately, a table for one is placed right in front of your throne, high enough for you to be able to eat without having to stoop. Another one, slightly bigger and taller, is placed a few ways beside your station, most likely for Sayaka and Kyoko's benefit. "Ugh, don't tell me it's that Heather girl again, yelling for another rematch with Kharn. She can get so fucking annoying--"

"No, it's Miss Vintage!" Kyoko interrupts, shaking her head as she prepares to dig in, shoving a white linen handkerchief down her armor's gorget to make a bib - and it's here that you see Sayaka's eyes widen. "She actually called me and told me I was getting skinnier, hahaha! Poor Enishi-chan though, probably didn't expect her to attend!"

...Vintage? You blink at this, looking at Kyoko, then at Sayaka. You don't remember a Vintage--

[2/3]
>>
>>34320075

"You won't, she left long before you came around." Your Equerry shakes her head. "Former Warmaster, way before Kharn and Miss Malal. Visited a couple of times to check up on us, but not as much lately. She's contracted under the First, now." It's here that Sayaka shudders - a tremor snaking up her spine to settle in her shoulders. "...Christ, it's not like she was anything as bad as Kirika, but she never stopped being creepy to me. Why'd she have to come visit now of all times, anyway?"

"Eh? But...well, if she's a former Warmaster, maybe it's because she wanted to pay respects to sempai, seeing as she's the new one?" Midori asks, puzzled.

"Maybe." Sayaka doesn't seem convinced, however. "But she's...well, she's from the First, and..." Your Equerry seems to finally realize where she is, and lets the thought remain unfinished. "...Just watch out, Murderface. She'll probably want to talk to you later, and if she does, just watch your back."

...Not the most sparkling of character references, there. But you'll try.

"Good." Your Equerry lets out a sigh. "...We might as well eat, seeing as everyone else is."

That might be a good idea right now. Doesn't look like you can do anything at the moment besides waiting for the next event.

...Hmm. Strange, though. Your Shield feels like it's vibrating slightly, but it could be just your nerves...

[]Check your Shield.
[]Ignore it. It's probably just muscle fatigue, that kind of thing.
>>
>>34320063
>Like that western manga superhero who dresses up like a giant bat and gargles gravel while he talks
>...What, Batman? Sayaka thinks you're like Batman?

IS IT MY TIME TO SHINE?
Thread theme is a go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA1nzyrwTSg
>>
>>34320096
>[X]Check your Shield.
Discreetly though. Don't make a big deal out of it.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
>Vintage
How subtle Decu
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Ignore it. It's probably just muscle fatigue, that kind of thing.
a
>>
>>34320096
>[X]Check your Shield.
It'll only get worse if we ignore it.
Also get Pinky some food if she doesn't already have some.
>>
>>34320096

>[x] Check your Shield.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
Welp, time to pay the piper. I mean Pinky.
>>
Should it not be clicking when Pinky wants to talk?

Maybe its The ascended one?
>>
>>34320096
Pinky has never traditionally left us in a great deal of doubt about wanting to talk to us.

[]Ignore it. It's probably just muscle fatigue, that kind of thing.

>>34320115
I prefer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzFBwfrIRnQ
>>
>>34320096
[X]Check your Shield.

So, is this stranger working for:
a) Pinky
b) Oriko
c) Homucifer
d) All of the above
>>
>>34320096
>[X]Check your Shield.

Pinky gets pissy if we ignore her too long, and we know she can force time stops if she wants. Let's not give her an excuse to do so at an inconvenient time.
>>
>>34320096
[]Check your Shield.

Offer Pinkie our chili shrimp, if she shows up.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
>>
>>34320096
[X]Check your Shield.

Shields are great and should be checked.

>Vintage is giving me the creeps.
>>
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>>34320075
>>34320075
Is.. Is Vintage this worlds Homura Akemi?
>>
Remember to try to ask Pinky out on a date sometime, where we'll tell her about our plans to defeat The Transcendent One and save Madoka.

Not necessarily now. But at some point.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
It's ogre
>>
Vintage is Homu
>>
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>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
Time for consequences.
>>
>>34320184
probably no more than Kharn was

This world has more that it's fair share of Homu-alikes
>>
>>34320155
>d) Mami
>e) all of the above
fixed
>>
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>>34320096
>[X]Check your Shield.

Welp time to die
>>
>>34320184
I dunno. While that was my first thought, should it not be pretty obvious? I mean this worlds Homu would presumably look like Chiakis identical twin right?

How could Sayaka and Kyoko have failed to make the connection?
>>
>>34320208
>e) Malal
>f) all of the above

fixed again
>>
>>34320075
Also dammit, the girl looks intimidating.
>>
>>34320096
[x]Check your Shield.
[x]Excuse ourselves, with a plate of food, and go meet Pinky outside the Hall
>>
>>34320096
>[]Check your Shield.
>[]Let Pinky sit on your lap and feed her.
>>
>>34320096
>[]Ignore it. It's probably just muscle fatigue, that kind of thing.
It probably is pinky, I just don't want to deal with her right now.
>>
>>34320233
Tonight we dine in hall?
>>
>>34320096

[x]Check your Shield.
>>
>>34320226
excluding the silly bird plopped on her head.
>>
>>34320216
Better question: How could we fail to have tracker her down via the name Homura Akemi?

There's no way Kyubey couldn't have known, if she was the person we were looking for,

No, I think it's just another Homu-lookalike.
>>
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>>34320223
This thing is giving me the spooks.
>>
>>34320216
Maybe this one looks older?
>>
>>34320246
>Tonight we dine in hall?
It's already night, and we are dining in the Hall.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.
time stopping device haunted by insane goddess, better not ignore
>>
[X] Check your shield
[x} Offer pinky some of your food when she pops up.
>>
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>>34320075
>That bird

Mirrors are more fun than television.
>>
>>34320255
The hero that we all deserved.

But Yuma killed.
>>
>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.

We should try to remain on good terms with Pinky. And yes, I realize its like nailing jello to a wall, but we gotta do what we gotta do.
>>
What's Vintage a reference to?
>>
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Ahahahahahahahaha
>>
>>34320096
>[X]Check your shield
>>
>>34320311
QB confirmed softy.
>>
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>>34320295
Yuma a cute.
>>
>>34320075
Doesn't that flower on her headband kinda look like our warmaster symbol? Also whats that medal/pin on her chest with the face=
>>
>>34320249
Vintage confirmed for female Hibari
>>
>>34320315
she really does have you all trained, doesn't she?
>>
>>34320333
who?
>>
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>>34320096
>[x]Check your Shield.

This will end horribly, I just know it.
>>
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No fucking way. This can't even be real.
>>
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>>34320345
C'mon, she didn't have any screentime in a while...
>>
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>>34320075
HA HA TIME FOR TIMESTOP
>>
>>34320360
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
>>
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Ha
>>
>>34320360
It really is.
>>
>>34320254
Coobie did already investigate that name for us nearly at the beginning of MGNQ and found nothing. Or was it Malal?

Shit Im going full alzheimer.
>>
>>34320372
and there's also no guarantee that was HER, knocking.

Consider who else could be out there, and ask yourself if you really wanna open that door
>>
>>34320375
And I meant to quote>>34320096
Whoops
>>
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>>34320399
Oh come on, love. It's not going to hurt anything.
>>
>>34320397
He did, but Madoka was Kaneda instead of Kaname in this one. Their names are not 100% match in this timeline.
>>
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>>34320375
>>
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Oh god, it just gets better.
>>
>>34320096
[X]Check your Shield.
But do it out of the way without people around so you don't accidentally bring someone with you when they choose to jump-hug you at the worst moment.
>>
>>34320435
still it seems inconceivable that he would have missed our physical resemblance to a past Warmaster, particularly if the names have any similarity at all.

Of course, it's debateable whether he would have TOLD us about that.
>>
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>>34320456
>jump-hugging the warmaster
>>
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>>34320075
>"Ugh, don't tell me it's that Heather girl again, yelling for another rematch with Kharn. She can get so fucking annoying--"
Thank you, based Decu.
>>
>>34320184
i thought chiaki is this world homura akemi?
>>
>>34320397
I too recall us asking QB to check that name and him finding nothing.

That being said, we do know that there is a native version of Homura present, and in one of the Q&As, Decu said that the native Homura had visions about what was going on much like Malal did (due to being this dimensions counterparts to their respective deities).

So it would make sense that the native Homura is hiding who she truly is, just as Malal hid who she was.

It also means she knows a LOT about us, Pinky and Homucifer. Which is probably not good for us.
>>
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>>34320446
No bloody way.

>>34320473
I can think of a couple of girls who would.
>>
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Clearly this means we should always listen to best face
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>>34320495
at least one of them would probably only do it if we had explicitly asked them not to, though.
>>
>>34320399
We got like two thousand magical girls here, some of them real masters of the trade. If whatever's at the other side has hostile intentions there's not better place to bring it than right here. Sure, we're gonna enter history as the worst party crasher ever, but that comes with the teritory
>>
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>>34320473
>>
>>34320495
>>34320520
>>34320537
Where are all of these from anyways?
>>
>>34320550
Someone posted it earlier in the thread.
http://en.genzu.net/yurai/
>>
>>34320495
And to save people the trouble
Souji = Stoic
kharn = Smart
misaka = Savage
Green hair = Pubic hair
>>
>>34320550
Read the thread
>>
>>34320474
Heather's not annoying! She's cute!
>>
>>34320524
Yeah. Revealing that an incarnation of ourself (Homucifer/TNO) pulled the "Blessed Lady" out of "heaven" and corrupted her would go over well with those two thousand magical girls. Large part of whom likely worship the Blessed Lady.

Nothing like publically revealing ourself to literally be the devil eh?
>>
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>>34320578
>Heather
>Cute
>>
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>>34320578
>>
>>34320524
I don't know how much that would help, since we would be in Timestop. And the Soulgem is still a Magical Girl's greatest weakness.
>>
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All of mami's are so lewd.
>>
My guess is Vintage is Hitomi Shizuki.
>>
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>>34320599
>>34320474
>>
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>>34320621
>>
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>>34320520
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc3lXjBfe6o
>>
>>34320656
I was honestly toying with the idea of posting this.
>>
>>34320633
>>
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>>34320653
>>
>http://en.genzu.net/yurai/
deculture = schoolgirl
AHHH-HAAAA!
>>
>>34320712
Deculture gives "Good Luck".
Heh.
>>
>>34320673
I'm dumb, how do you save it like this?
>>
>>34320761
"switch"
>>
>>34320761
Click 'Switch' next to the Generate button.
>>
>>34320790
>>34320793
Ah.
Thanks anons.
>>
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Smallest and cutest confirmed.
>>
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Waiting for Flatty mcPinkster is torture.
>>
>>34320822
Dat ass tho
>>
>>34320819
I was just about to post the same one.
Odette is love.
>>
>>34320819
>>
>>34320819
No one tell Archival that his becomes Rich Sex
>>
http://en.inkei.net/vagina/a/Hotdog!Were-Wendy!20140822
Actually terrifying to watch
>>
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>>34320886
Oh goodness.
>>
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>>34320923
>>
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>>34320923
>>
whoever keeps posting these things,

FUCKING STOP YOU'RE TAKING UP ALL THE POST LIMIT POSTS.
>>
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>>34320923
>>34320974
we're past the point that it'll make any difference now, we're past the bump limit
>>
>>34320974
Already past bump limit bro it doesn't matter.
>>
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>>34320974
>>
>>34320118 >>34320136 >>34320145

You glance down at your right arm, where your scarred Shield is clamped on. ...For some reason, it feels like the entire thing is shaking. Maybe it's some sort of muscle fatigue that you forgot to take note of, or something? Wouldn't be the first time, but if it's your Shield--

As soon as your fingertips come in contact with the rim of the heavy metal disc, it engages itself - so suddenly and so abruptly that you very nearly jump out of your throne.

There's a crash of gears and metal smashing together as your Shield rotates upon its own main joint, a full ninety degrees - and the world around you goes cold, all warmth and color draining from it, in the characteristic pallor of time being stopped for everyone except you.

And a cheerful pink demon in a rather revealing cheerleader outfit, the skirt way too short to cover her pink-and-white striped panties protecting her modesty.

"HO-MU-RA! HO-MU-RA! L-O-V-E HO-MU-RA!" Pinky, in all her black-eyed, sharp-toothed glory jumps and flits and leaps towards you, shaking two brightly-colored pom-poms in her hands. As she gets closer, you realize that they're not pom-poms at all - but rather, freshly-severed heads of Magical Girls, with their still-bleeding eye sockets and slack-open mouth used as...handholds. "YAAAAY HOMURA-CHAN! CONGRATULATIONS!"

These gory cheerleader gear is quickly dropped like so much trash as the eldritchian abomination with a rusty bone saw's smile prances up to your throne - and it's with a few moments of grunting and cursing that she climbs up the side and drops herself into your lap. Reclining comfortably there, like a cat curling up at her favorite spot.

"Oh, I thought you were never going to let me visit, Homura-chan! I thought I was gonna have to do something drastic to get your attention!" Pinky giggles, before reaching up with both blood-clawed hands to pull your face down close to her.

[1/2]
>>
>>34320974
Past bump limit like 2 hours ago.

And chikuwa is near
>>
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>>34320984
Are we? Then time to post worst girl.
>>
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>>34320974
We've been well past the post limit, anon, even before we've had this flood of yurai texts.
>>
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Nootto desu
>>
>>34320075

Can someone explain to me what the fuck that bird is? I can only think of one thing but it wasn't very magical girl-y and was rather shitty.

Aside from that, headband, hair color and sortof style, glasses, great coat, we are both badasses who are/were warmasters, and similar icon in her hair. Ringing more bells than Roberta and we have not even met her yet.
>>
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>>34320974
>out collective face when
>>
My bad about that, but still, this flood of shit is annoying.
>>
>>34321001

You immediately freeze at this - the last time she tried this, you ended up tongue-kissing a mouthful of blood and sharp teeth - but instead of forcing you into a makeout session, she simply gives you a warm peck on the cheek. "That's for you! Congratulations on becoming Buttmaster, Homura-chan! Make sure you don't forget about me now that you've come up into the world, okay?!"

...It's...no, she's thinking about the impossible. There's no way you can forget about her.

"Oh? Hee, that's really sweet, Homura-chan! I'll have you know I'll never forget you, either! I think of you all the time!" She claps her bloody hands together, the sound sticky with drying, crusty gore. "Every day, every hour, every minute, every second...Homura-chan is always on my mind! Even before you made me this way!" She giggles again, the sound cute and feminine, completely at odds with the bloodthirsty monster on your lap.

"Mmmh, I see Homura-chan's surrounding herself with boobies again," Pinky frowns at Midori beside you. "Wendy-chan's here too, isn't she? Aha, I see her there a few rows from the front! It's nice to see her doing so well, she was a complete wreck after Homura-chan broke her heart, ahahaha!" She kicks her bare legs up and down in hilarity. "Well, it's not like she's not a complete wreck still! Can't do anything about that, I'm an insane goddess, not a miracle worker!"

She fidgets again on your lap, shifting to sit up a bit more - and it's here that Pinky pokes your cheek with a claw-tipped finger.

"Why do you like boobs so much, Homura-chan? They're just lumps of fat! They don't do anything! I just don't get it! I don't!" She clicks her tongue against her razor-sharp teeth, making a drop of blood trickle down her chin and onto her white cheerleader tank top. "Stop surrounding yourself with 'em, they're not worth the trouble! Okay? Okay! Pinky Promiiiise!"

[2/3]
>>
>>34321029
she still has Ragnarok syndrom
>>
>>34321015
>I'll take this pancake
>AND EAT IT
>>
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>>34321041
B...but... But boobs!
>>
>>34321041
But Homu is an ass-girl!
Between this and Wendy's knockers, I won't stand for your ret-cons Decu! DOWN WITH THE BOOB MENACE!
>>
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>>34321041
>>34321078
Hear hear!
>>
oppai monsters pls go
>>
>offer to make out with pinky if she'll be good and not cause trouble for awhile.
>>
>>34321041

Before you can even think about responding, she cackles again. "So! Has Homura-chan been a good girl, like I have?" Her shark-like eyes swivel to stare at you. "You haven't been talking to whatever it is inside the gun that I gave you, right?"

How do you respond?

[]Tell the truth.
[]Lie.
[]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
>>
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>>34321041
Since when do we listen to geeks?
>>
>>34321001
>Pinky giggles, before reaching up with both blood-clawed hands to pull your face down close to her.
I hope she uses plenty of tongue
>>
>>34321100
[X]Tell the truth.
[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
[X]FUCKING APOLOGIZE
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Tell the truth.
Lying makes it worse on the long run.
>>
>>34321099
>[] lie and tell her that we only have eyes for you pinky-chan and then giver the old tonsil hockey
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Lie.

LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE

IF YOU DON'T PICK LIE, YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
>>
>>34321100
>[]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter
Please help me make them stop. They are being so helpful, it's just awful.
>>
[x]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.

[x]I didn't believe their lies
>>
>>34321100
[X]Tell the truth.
[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
[X]Apologize.
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Tell the truth.
>>
>>34321100
>[]Lie.
>>
>>34321100
[X] Other

"First, I want to tell you I've decided to fight the Transcendent One and help fix what damage I have done to you."

Then
[X] Tell the Truth.
>>
>>34321100
[x]Lie.
>>
>>34321100
[X] Talking? Of course not.
>>
>>34321100
>[x]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
Alas, pink lady.
>>
>>34321100
[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.

Technically true, but slightly less likely to end in with us in a bloody mess.

Also:

[X] Ask her about the last timestop. Describe the landscape, the feathers, the screaming voices and the fact she (Pinky) was not there. Then ask what it means?

Subject change is a go!
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Tell the truth.
Let's celebrate being ratified with a bloodbath. 2000 magical girls worth of blood.
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Tell the truth.
>[x]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
And touch her butt absent mindedly. If she's starting to think we're boobs person it's time to prove her wrong.
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Lie.

We gotta protect our best resource.
>>
>>34321139
This one.

Please, this one.
>>
>>34321100
ooh boy here we go

>[]Tell the truth.
>[]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
>>
>>34321121
We don't have much futher to go anon and we've outrun all the consequences
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Distract her by kissing her
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Lie.
>>
I can't even tell who is chucklefucks anymore.
>>
[x]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
[x] Lie vvv
Reassure her they've been giving you bad advice and possessing you to do pranks and generally retarded actions.
>>
>>34321187
Everyone., now stop bitching.
>>
>>34321143
Slight problem. Deculture said in recent ask.fm that Pinky has absolutely no idea who The Transcendent One (homucifer) is.

She blames us for the whole thing.
>>
>>34321100
[X] It's always just been The Golden Gun.
>>
>>34321100
[X]Other
"Have you ever heard of the Transcended one and her gaggle of murder dolls?"

[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.

also why did our free timestop look so freakin scary all of a sudden?
>>
>>34321187
Are you implying anyone ISN'T a chucklefuck?
>>
>>34321041
[X]Tell the truth.
[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
[X]Apologize
[X]Ask her about last timestop
>>
>>34321197
Then tell her.

She'll think we're going after her no matter what. Explicitly tell her we are not going to kill Pinky, just undo the damage.
>>
>>34321170
where we are, there IS no long run.

Even if by some miracle we were to defeat Homucifer there's no reason to assume that would fix anything.
>>
This isn't the first time we've been given options that don't end well.

We'll make the best of it. somehow..
>>
>>34321100
>[X] Lie.

Lie so hard as you have lied before. If we tell her the truth, I'm pretty sure that bestgirl and worstgirl will be in danger, since she mentioned them both just before asking if we've disobeyed her.
>>
>>34321100
Hmm, I have a feeling this choice will be the catalyst that sets everything off...

If we tell the truth, either she flips out now or she forgives us and crisis avoided.

If we lie and she believes us, crisis avoided. For now.

If we lie and she DOESN'T believe us, crisis.

If we make it sound like we didn't have a choice... I don't know.

fuckfuckfuck

[X]Lie.
[X]Then ask about our last timestop
>>
/tg/ please dont fuck things up anymore,
>>
>>34321197
She blames Akemi Homura. We currently are a new Akemi Homura, but she plainly stated she blames all the Homura that have come since the Transcended one caused her fall.
>>
>>34321100
Adding Anon's >>34321153 idea of deflection to my vote for lying.
>>
>>34321187
I honestly can't tell which option is worse right now. And she's so happy... I want to protect that smile.
>>
>>34321100
>[]Lie.
>>
inb4 we lose all favor of ourselves in the gun~
>>
>>34321143
>>34321214

Pinky is exactly the kind of person to freak the fuck out if we told her this.

If you want to fix her, don't let her know.
>>
>>34321100
>[x]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
We've been doing it out in the open and since she's usually watching, better not lie. Probably.
>>
>>34321226
It's inevitable.
>>
>>34321231
Well you can argue that Chiaki and TNO/Homucifer are sort of same. Or that TNO pulled an Amoeba and split from Chiakis soulgem. Or something.

But the point is that TNO does exist as a separate divine-level entity right now. Pinky however has no idea about that.

So if we start talking about "The Transcendent One", Pinky won't have the slighest idea what the hell we are talking about.
>>
>>34321153
>and the fact she (Pinky) was not there
maybe she was, we were just going too fast to notice
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Other
>[x]Deflect
>[x]''Its none of your business. How about you go bother the winged bitch instead of me?''
>>
>>34321100
>[x]I think one of them is coming for me
Evasive maneuvers
>>
RULE 1: Don't Fuck Up
RULE 2: Don't Forget Rule 1
>>
>>34321226
Then please tell us which choice fucks things up less.

Because all of these end badly, either now or later, due to (actually good) choices we made in the past.
>>
>>34321226
>>34321248
How do we not fuck things up, and which option clearly demonstrates not fucking it up?
>>
>>34321263
>Or that TNO pulled an Amoeba and split from Chiakis soulgem.
Isn't it the reverse.
>>
>>34321226
WHY CONTAIN IT
>>
>>34321100
>>34321265
This! Deflect! Deflecting sounds good!
>>
>>34321281
>Because all of these end badly, either now or later, due to (actually good) choices we made in the past.
Welcome to noir.

I've cast my vote, let's brace for it and see how things turn out. I just hope we get one more update before obligatory fish snack.
>>
>>34321285
tell the truth of course!
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Tell the truth.
>>
>>34321297
Well, the two split or something. I dunno the exact mechanism and it does not really matter. The point is, according to Decu, Pinky does not know about Homucifer. Madokami does/did, but Pinky does not.
>>
>>34321285
All choices lead to potential disaster,which will bite us on the butt sooner or later.

The only thing we can do is pick the lesser evil.
>>
It's very simple.

We lied then, we lie now, and we keep lying until the universe explodes and we're home free.
>>
>>34321285
>>34321226
By not admitting anything and changing the topic!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Tell the truth.

Chucklefucking and proud of it.
>>
Deflect with sloppy makeouts
>>
>>34321100
>[x]Tell the truth.
So things went to shit before idols got involved, maybe that means we won't be subjected to Idol Hell once again, that's a pleasant thought.
>>
>>34321336
But Pinkys not stupid. She will take it as an admission of guilt.
>>
>>34321100
[x] I started hearing them, whether I want to hear them or not.
It's a bit of truth, without throwing them under the bus.
>>
>>34321100
[]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
>>
>>34321361
I'd rather be in Idol Hell than admitting to Pinky we've been "bad"
>>
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>>34321322
>>34321336
Exactly what I expected.
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Tell the truth.
>[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
>>
>>34321100
>[]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
Best to just get this over now, before we end up getting penalized even worse in the future. This'll at least give us some cover.
Did I get it in on time?
>>
>>34321332
The question is, why is Pinky so worried about the 3? Probably because she is afraid they will convince Chiaki to kill her. Dildoes did suggest that actually.

If we let her know about Homucifer, and that we don't plan to kill Pinky, but instead plan to kill Homucifer, she may calm down.
>>
>>34321366
Yeah, she's in a good mood right now, so if we wanna come out with it, this is the best moment to do so.
>>
>>34321388
no banner yet, so yes.
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Tell the truth.
>[X]...They started talking to me. I didn't have a choice in the matter.
>>
>>34321402
Exactly and if she finds out on her own we are proper fucked.
>>
>>34321100
Everyone cross your fingers.
>>
>>34321400
The three Homuras are shards of the true Homura, Cycle 1 Homura, Anime Homura and Fallen from Grace Homura. all three are keen in the ability to handle what Faust can do.
>>
>>34321100
>[X]Lie.

Stop

Please

We lied once already, if we backpedal now we are going to cause everything to fucking explode.
>>
>>34321422
Which vote won?
>>
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>>34321422
We're all doomed.
>>
>>34321366
I want this on record.

Everybody who voted to tell the truth? You are the worst kind of idiot.

This is the one and only time I will complain about this choice.
>>
>>34321422
>>34321430

I counted 9 votes for lie.

I don't think it won.
>>
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>>34321422
We're so dead.
>>
Am I the only one who wants to protect Pinky from TTO? We need to know what the fuck those feathers were, and where Pinky was. All this time I was concerned she got taken or something.
>>
>>34321100

[x] lie
>>
I think the "they started it" option won.
>>
>>34321435
Don't get butt blasted there was no good choice.
>>
>>34321416
if she finds out, we are proper fucked.

If we TELL HER, she's not likely to let us keep our insides inside any more than if she finds out by herself.

There is ZERO advantage in blowing this secret now.
>>
>>34321422
Oh, please.
What's the worst that could happen?
>>
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>>34321422
It's over
>>
>>34321439
Yeah. 12 for truth.
>>
>>34321446
well, following the basic canon of Madoka Magica. Akuma Homura is *stronger* then Madokami, but not as random as Faust,.
>>
>>34321452
She's in a good mood right now.
>>
>>34321100
[X] LIE!
DENY THE TRUTH
UPHOLD THE INANE
THIS IS NOT UP FOR NEGOTIATION, I FELT SOMEONE WALK ON MY GRAVE WHEN I READ THAT QUESTION.
>>
>>34321430
It wasn't >[X]Lie.

Which basically means that everything is fucked.
>>
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>>34321422
>>34321450
>>
>>34321422
Welp. Enjoy the DEAD END, I guess.
>>
Oh God. Here comes the shitstorm of how the quest is ruined.
>>
>>34321478
My vote didn't win. QUICK THROW A SHIT FIT IT"S JUST LIKE [X] GET FUCKED! QUEST DOOMED GO HOME!
>>
>>34321466
She's mercurial as fuck.

On a good day, we're only ever a gnats fart away from her ripping our spleen out.

/tg/ genuinely never ceases to amaze me with it's choices.
>>
>>34321494
Deculture is smart enough to rewind when stupid Dead ends happens and goes with the best not Hellodie option.
>>
>>34321478
But which version of truth won? Brutal truth, or the one where we say they started talking.

Might be the difference between having our heart ripped out, or merely beaten nearly to the point of death.
>>
>>34321494
Yeah, it happens every 10 threads or so.

Literally, it happens every 10 threads or so. It's nothing new.
>>
>>34321422
Wasn't NECO the one who's supposed to put up voting banners, or something?
>>
>>34321516
We're all NECO here.
>>
>>34321514
>10
How optimistic.
>>
>>34321516
That's not a Voting banner.
>>
>>34321506
That's only if the fuckup was on his end, like when he miscounted the votes for >[X] BRING COOBS INTO TIMESTOP.
If the fuckup is on our end, there's no saving us.
>>
>>34321494
Nah, this has happened before. Chucklefucks voted to bring QB into the timestop, Pinkie went crazy, BAD END. Decu just put us back onto the path where we don't die horribly in the next thread.
>>
>>34321531
The ten are just waifu wars in between.
>>
>>34321541
Pretty sure that only happened because the votes had been calculated wrong.
>>
>>34321506
Deculture is good, I don't question QM.

>>34321514
Just bracing myself while expressing contempt for posters who whine constantly that X ruined the thread, and still come back every session to complain.
>>
Just... just kiss her or something !
>>
>>34321541
That was a miscount not Decu rolling things back he has never done that because of a bad end.
>>
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>>34321494
We already knew there would be a shitstorm, considering the last sentence of the last thread.

Though we just ignited it in a room of 2000 people, including most of our closest friends, when we could have chosen to lie and put it off later instead.

I think Anon's desire to do as little wrong as possible fucked it here, but I am still interested in how this will go. Just in the same way I that was interested in the aftermath of the Yuma choice.
>>
>>34321541

See >>34321552
>>
>>34321538
He's not going to end a two year quest simply because some chucklefucks made the rock stupid decision to tell a capricious mercurial godlike demon that yes we ignored the one tenet she made us promise to.
>>
>>34321499
Mmm.

If you ask me, it's better this time -- It wasn't a straight-up retard choice, it was a choice between punishment now or possible worse punishment in the future.
>>
>>34321426
I don't think Braids is Cycle 1 Homura, Cycle 1 Homura didn't fall for Sayaka.
>>
chi-ku-wa!
>>
>>34321586
Yeah but chances are there's still going to be a 20 thread long shit storm because something bad happened.
>>
>>34321586
or to put it another way, a choice between a punishment we may not survive now, and a punishment at a later time when we may be in a better position to actually fight back.
>>
>>34321596
I'll cop to that. it's still early cycles Homura though due to her still being mousy.
>>
>>34321564
Its the shitstorm I'm sick off. If anyone doesn't like the way the quest has gone, then just post that you're out and leave.

Don't stick around, fucksticks and shit on the thread because it didn't go the way one person decided it should go.

Sorry, last comment on this. It fills me with hate.
>>
>>34321586
Possible worse punishment in the future when there is nobody around to be caught in the crossfire.

But no. Our first official act as Warmaster is probably going to be leaving a bloodbath where our Officio used to stand.
>>
>>34321616
Then again the Yuma flashback arc had probably the greatest butthurt shitstorms ever in this quest.
>>
>>34321642
and it was glorious
>>
>>34321628
QUICK BLOW EVERYTHING OUT OF PROPORTION TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THE CHOICE I DON'T LIKE WILL END THE WORLD.
>>
>>34321642
Which is odd considering Yuma did nothing wrong.
>>
>>34321642
It was also the most fun for me
>>
>>34321615
Yeah it is probably back when Homura's relationship with Madoka was still friendship, before it evolved into the only reason Homura existed.
>>
>>34321642
Which is funny considering that the Yuma flashback was some of the best writing in the quest.
>>
>>34321616
What fills me with hate are people who weren't even here since the beginning yet think they have the right to tell someone to leave because he doesn't agree with their retarded, short-sighted votes.

Im not even the guy from the post you quoted but I still think you should go fuck yourself.
>>
>>34321583
I agree that telling Pinky probably isn't an immediate quest ending deathflag. However, if Decu in the future put in a quest ending deathflag, I don't think he would/should relent to the inevitable shitstorm.
Chances are that when such a deathflag could be picked, it would be in a situation with less ambiguous choices than these.
>>
>>34321668
I don't think its that simple. Braids has implied full knowledge of everything, including Homucifer. I think their personalities manifest from points in time, but each knows the full story more or less.
>>
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There is still the chance that Pinky knew already and was just testing us. She might appreciate the honesty and only kill half of the attendees.

Either way the fall is already coming, might as well use it to clear one obstacle off the Pinky route.
>>
>>34321694
Exactly Decu isn't one to put a death flag on a grey and uncertain decision.
>>
>>34321689
Only people I want to leave are the shitstormers. That's it. Everyone but the whiners are welcome.

My bad if that wasn't clear.
>>
>>34321616

See? These >>34321653 >>34321663 are the kind of people who are following this quest now.
>>
>>34321696
Is that you, based trash?
>>
>>34321696
Out-fucking-standing.
>>
>>34321668
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Braids, Dildoes and Murderface represent the three most common fates of various homuras. In some timelines, she stays mostly Braids, in some timelines she goes full Dildoes, and in some she's full Murderface.

There's no chronological tie, and neither of them represents a single specific timeline.
>>
>>34321695
Well, it's almost established since Madokami made the golden gun, there has always been a Homura soul in it. so regardless of which Homura it was, they inevitably meet a previous self and learn the whole story.
>>
>>34321696
nice
>>
>>34321715
But MUH AUDIENCE-NARRATIVE DISCONNECT.

The Yuma arc was good. It was emotionally satisfying. It advanced the plot. It developed all the characters. Just because things didn't have a happy ending doesn't make it any less well done.
>>
What happened in Yuma flashback was inevitable, right?
Not like we could stop the deaths of the majority of the templar that joined Yuma, since that was how it was setup by Decu before flashback
>>
>>34321761
This. I would have voted against several of the options that won in that part but the writing in that story was great.
>>
>>34321761
>Just because things didn't have a happy ending doesn't make it any less well done.
Well normally when Decu shines when terrible shit is happening. He is a healing type writer.
>>
>>34321761
this, on the other hand, seems like idiot chucklefuckery.

It's almost the exact opposite of the Yuma thing.

>>34321767
the beautiful thing was, we had hope. Not much, but it was something.
>>
I wonder if Decu's waiting for us to shut up so he can post...
>>
>>34321803
If that was true he'd never post.
>>
Geez peoples, the shit haven't even hit the fan yet, at least wait for it.
>>
>>34321715
Yumaquest really did have some of the best writing of the entire quest.

You don't need things to be happy to be entertaining or good, and feeling negatives emotions isn't always a bad thing. Just look at Madoka Magica. It didn't become one of the most popular anime of all time because of the slice of life and comedy in the first three episodes

People say tragedy is the highest form of art, and I am inclined to agree when the alternatives are endless happy days and comedy.
>>
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>>34321642
And it gave us Yuma, The Mind Sculptor.

Yuma arc was best arc.
>>
>>34321803
>Decu waiting on US to post
good one, anon
>>
>>34321812
Think he might have passed out?
>>
>>34321803
Probably writing one last post before chikuwa
>>
>>34321817
But when Decu posts and thing don't turn out terrible how will we have you shitstorm.
>>
>>34321761
I just feel like the original fans who were with the quest since the early days don't really have any control over the direction and there's a significant portion of later arrivals who vote for the lulz. I.e. the central problem of a small community becoming popular, e.g. /v/.
>>
NOTHING WRONG.

Unlike Chiaki. Who just did EVERYTHING WRONG.
>>
>>34321696
Yes, perfect.
>>
>>34321723
>>34321729
>>34321749
I'm not him, it's from https://twitter.com/Airtighttrash/status/482841193839984640
a few months back.
>>
>>34321100
[x] LIE
>>
>>34321733
Is this ever said anywhere?

Because it has been stated that madoka canon is canon here for the most part, and considering how Dildoes, Ribbons, and Devilhomu came to be it is kind of required for there to be a chronological tie.

That being said it is possible that after Rebellion we started having amnesia at the start of every timeline or something. We were fucked up before Yuma fucked us harder.
>>
>>34321840
usually it spills over into QTG

Which is, for the record, half the point of that damn thread.
>>
>>34321834
Kinda expected a chikuwa already, so it would end in cliffhanger with us wondering what Pinky will do.

The fact chikuwa has not yet appeared does imply Decu might be writing one last post.

Which probably means that whatever happens, its going to be even WORSE cliffhanger than just being left to wonder how Pinky will react.
>>
>>34321793
>Thinking an arc was good
>Chucklefuckery

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, buddy. If you really think that the quest would be better if only the things you voted for won, then you need to go choke on a wall of dicks.
>>
>>34321875
WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU WHEN IT MATTERED?

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT
>>
>>34321793
>this, on the other hand, seems like idiot chucklefuckery.
>It's almost the exact opposite of the Yuma thing.

We did what we did in the Yuma arc out of desperation to know more about what the fuck Malal was doing.

In this case we don't actually know what we should do.
>>
>>34321825
Best girl, nothing wrong.
>>
>>34321852
EVERYONE DID NOTHING WRONG!
But something did happen..
>>
>>34321817
>Implying this is not going to be next

http://en.inkei.net/vagina/a/Blessed_Lady!Akemi_Homura!20140822
>>
>>34321878
no, it's just headcanon.

But it makes more sense than each shade being a specific incarnation: We've had so many loops, we can't even remember them all at the best of times. And these aren't exactly our glory days anymore.

Hundreds of thousands of lives could have passed since the events of Rebellion. We just don't know.
>>
>>34321878
I seem to remember one of the three stooges (Braids I think) implying that they actually died or witched out at one point. Not to mention the amount of loops was way beyond what it was in canon.

That implies that at some point after anime canon and possibly after rebellion, Homuras started time traveling again. Only this time they made it so that even dying would just reset things.
>>
Dammit guys I leave for an hour or so, and what have you gotten ourselves into?
>>
>>34321915
>http://en.inkei.net/vagina/a/Blessed_Lady!Akemi_Homura!20140822
I... What the fuck am I watching ?
>>
>>34321966
We don't even know. We're flinging shit about something we haven't even confirmed.
>>
>>34321901
>wake up
>scrolling
>see the choice
>post in desperation

I-I tried...
>>
>>34321966
The beginnings of another pointless shitstorm over an uncertain decision. Do you want to join in?
>>
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>>34321915
>those animations

WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT SITE BECOME ANIMATED
>>
Where are Decu's minions? The thread's been free of control for far too long. :/
>>
>>34321987
If anyone can get us out of this, it is decu.

The only question left is whether he will, or whether he will let us suffer for our own retarded choices.
>>
>>34321541
when we're these?
(I read archived threads for a bit but switched to the pdf around Siberia )
>>
>>34321915
what the FUCK is this
>>
>>34321915
Please.
http://en.inkei.net/vagina/a/Blessed_Lady!Chiaki_Matsuda!20140822
All the way in from the start is the only proper way. Too bad for Blessed Lady though.
>>
>>34322015
they're all off crying because we just set the world on fire.
>>
>>34322041
*laughing
>>
>>34321968
>>34322033
Lurk the fuck more.
>>
>>34322041
It's been burning since the world's been turning.
>>
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>>34322022
Thread 100. That's the only thread that I didn't include in the eBook due to the entire thread being retconned.

Also, What the fuck captcha?
>>
>>34321851
They're not here for the lulz. They're here to see a story. Might not be the story you want, but this was never about that, was it? This is about you. This is about you, and people like you, being pissed off that the quest is not going the way you want it to go. Some of you are calm about it, like yourself, and I can admire that, but that's just treating the symptoms, not the disease.

Let me make myself clear on the matter. I believe that no vote is rendered invalid just because the voter wants to see a different story. Likewise, no vote is rendered valid just because the voter has been here for longer, or has more seniority, or thinks that it might be the way to 'win'. This is a democracy, and you get outvoted. It happens. There's no need to start pointing fingers and cursing invisible bogeymen, and potentially ruining the quest for everyone else. Ever heard the expression 'Cut off your nose to spite your face'? That is what you are doing here.

Basically, get the fuck over yourselves. The story is getting told regardless. You can either enjoy the twists and turns, or you can embitter yourself with thoughts of what ifs and could ofs, and then blame everyone else for the perceived slight that is making you miserable.

And with that note, I'm done. I'm tired of having this same fucking argument every dozen threads.
>>
Welp, I guess it's Midoriquest from here on in.
>>
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>>34322091
pinky has corrupted the captcah
>>
>>34322096
amen
>>
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>>34322091
>captcha
It's just trying to cheer you up. It knows what's coming.
>>
>>34322096
Well said, you saved me the trouble.
>>
>>34322111
Welp, I vote I didn't like won. Better have a cry from here on in.
>>
>>34322096
You sound somewhat perturbed.

I never said it's not about me and my emotional investment. I do think there are people voting just for the lulz. And that's what I posted about.
>>
>>34322111
I'd like that actually. Green a best.
>>
So who else hopes Mami gets caught in the collateral and dies?
>>
>>34322096
You make it sound like /qtg/ doesn't shit on every quest even remotely on their radar.
>>
>>34322096
>This is a democracy, and you get outvoted. It happens.
That's the beauty of it.
>>
>>34322166
>people who vote for things that I don't like are doing it for the lulz!

Holy shit, did you even read the post you're replying to?
>>
Always assume shitstorms are the work of a minority. I voted to lie and we lost, big fucking deal.
>>
Is decu kill?
Pretty late, where he is.
>>
>>34322166
>there are people voting just for the lulz.

Pretty sure there are not.

And even if they were, in this instance noone knows which vote will lead to the best outcome so it doesn't matter unless they start write-ins like "Shoot Pinky"
>>
>>34322202
No, no, I mean
>there's people who vote for the lulz.
I don't disagree with their choices always, just their methods.
>>
>>34322202
There might be some who do try to screw up the quest by voting for an option that is clearly stupid.

I don't see anything to suggest this happened here though.
>>
>>34322192
seeing how she's the goddess' handmaiden, No.
>>
>>34322200
Much as I love Spider, he's pretty in the wrong there.

Just because other people have a different idea does not mean that they are wrong, and assuming you are right just because you have a different idea is a quick path to becoming a holier-than-thou asshat.
>>
>>34321113

You decide to tell her the truth. It's...a bit complicated, you try to explain.

"Oh? How is it complicated, Homura-chan?" Pinky asks sweetly, smiling wide, showing two bloody-pinked rows of sharp-pointed teeth. "Please, explain everything to me~ I promise I won't get mad, don't WORRY!" She emphasizes the last word by digging her claws into your arm right down into the bone, making you grit your teeth at the cold bite of pain! "Do go on, Homura-chan! Really! I'm not even mad right now, ahahaha!"

...Right. You swallow hard, before explaining what you know and remember. How you simply tried to see what kind of spirit resided in your Desert Eagle - and all of a sudden, the three spirits simply began talking to you, just like that. You didn't really have a choice in the matter, considering that they were talking to you before Pinky warned you about them.

That said, you're...sorry for lying to her, you murmur. Sorry for making that promise, and breaking it.

The eldritichian horror reclining on your lap narrows her eyes at you for a moment too long - before her gaze swivels to the Golden Desert Eagle holstered at your side. She reaches out with a clawed finger and gently, ever so gently, pokes the butt of the handcannon.

The crushing pain smashes into you with the force of an oncoming truck covered in acid-soaked needles. Your muscles immediately locking up and making you spasm and jerk and twitch upon your throne, your teeth gritting hard enough that you could swear you heard some of them break during those first, few moments of absolute torture.

Excruciating doesn't even begin to describe it - it feels like dying. Dimly, you feel yourself breathing out blood all over the front of your costume - bright red, vital blood, burning all the way up your throat as you cough it out.

And in your mind, fevered and drowned in pain, you could hear all three of your past selves screaming the scream of pain you forced yourself to grit your teeth against.

[1/2]
>>
>>34322224
Decu wouldn't die even if they killed him.
>>
>>34322266
ha ha
>>
>>34322266
Fuck
>>
>>34322266

It's only when Pinky withdraws her claw-tipped finger that the pain immediately vanishes - and you slump back against your throne, limp and exhausted. The impromptu torture session leaving you hollow, leaving you drained, enough that you don't even notice Pinky slowly clambering off your lap, self-consciously-adjusting the tiny skirt that had hiked up earlier.

"I don't like being lied to, Homura-chan." Pinky murmurs, not turning to look at you as she pulls her skirt down to a more modest hem line. "...But you're trying again, so that means something. That means you're learning from your past mistakes, even if I'm going to make you suffer for all of them."

And once again, as if a switch inside her had suddenly been flipped by an invisible hand - she twirls around, all smiles, all cheer. "Well, I guess it couldn't really be helped! Homura-chan's clever and sneaky like that, always trying to game the system, always looking for an unfair advantage for a rainy day!"

She sidles up in front of you, leaning forward and lifting up your chin with a claw-tipped finger - forcing you to look up at her. "So what lies did they tell you, huh, Homura-chan? What kind of bullshit did your past selves make you swallow? And more importantly - did you believe them?"

You can probably talk if you forced it.

[]...I'm reserving judgment until further notice.
[]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322266
oops
>>
>>34322266
Well that went better than expected
>>
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>>34322192
>implying she's not already dead
>>
>>34322266
As expected.

But I'm actually not mad anymore. I realised that >>34322096 has a point.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.

Tell her about the feathers. Tell her about the Transcendent One.
>>
>>34322254
>holier-than-thou asshat

Well, that's Spider for ya.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322294
[X]Tell her about the TNO, the image you saw in the scrying mirror of her, about TNO appearing to Malal in the flashback, the feathers in the timestop and that your otherselves want you to kill the TNO, because it will apparently help Pinky somehow.
>>
>>34322294
>[X] ...I'm reserving judgment until further notice

We've survived the storm, now let's take the safe path out.
>>
>>34322294
>[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
[heavy breathing]

Try to stall out for next thread.
>>
>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322294
[X] Say nothing.
I don't think we can give a coherent answer now.
>>
>>34322266
[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
[X]Tell her about the TNO, the image you saw in the scrying mirror of her, about TNO appearing to Malal in the flashback, the feathers in the timestop and that your otherselves want you to kill the TNO, because it will apparently help Pinky somehow.
>>
>>34322299
>Well that went better than expected
Well, that depends entirely on what's left of the three stooges, doesn't it.

[X] I'm not going to kill you, I'm going to help the shit out of you, even if you don't want it.
>>
>>34322254
I don't know man, if it meant not being stabbed with knives by nightclub patrons or whatever he's saying, I think I'd become an asshat too.
>>
>>34322294
I didn't believe their lies.
>>
>>34322294
>[x]There's a batshit insane version of me trying to kill me, and once I'm gone I'm guessing you're next. She's already interfered once. All I want is to protect you.

Full homu.
>>
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>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
SAVE EVERYONE HAPPY END IS GO GENTLEMEN

REMEMBER RULE #1
>>
>>34322311
anon no

pinky will just get madder and madder
>>
>>34322294
[x]...I'm reserving judgment until further notice.

They all said a lot of stuff. and since the souls are three distinctly different Homura you need to wait and see if anything the three of them said will come true.
>>
>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.

Tell her about the TNO and feathers
>>
>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
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>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.

"Save you from anything"
>>
>>34322294
>[]...I'm reserving judgment until further notice.
>>
why the fuck are you idiots all saying something Faust can take as a direct threat?
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
Time to drop the TNO bomb.
>>
>>34322294
[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.

Feathers and Transcended bitches!
>>
>>34322294
>[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
need breath, maybe she'll change her mind in the meantime
>>
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>>34322294

>>34322322
>>34322311
^These.

Go big or go home.
>>
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>>34322294
[x]Other
[x]''Thats not important. What is important is why you are going after me and not the winged one. You know as good as me that she is skulking around. Isn't she the one responsible for all this?"

How about getting some questions of our own answered this time?
>>
>>34322347
The rest of the officio is still standing. There's no crater where the building used to be. Midori and Wendy aren't little puddles of blood on the carpet.

9/10 Breddy Gud I'd say.

[X] ...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
Let's ride this truth&honesty train to the end.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]Tell her about the TNO, the image you saw in the scrying mirror of her, about TNO appearing to Malal in the flashback, the feathers in the timestop and that your otherselves want you to kill the TNO, because it will apparently help Pinky somehow.

I think the 2nd option is probably an extremely terrible idea.

It would mean not only were we listening to the voices, and not only did we lie, but we were also hiding what we were going to do to Pinky from Pinky.

However I know the 2nd option will win. So I am going to vote for the version of the 2nd option I think is least likely to fail.
>>
>>34322409
"The flowers are still standing"
>>
>>34322294
>[]...I'm reserving judgment until further notice.
>>
>>34322294
>[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322316
Spider never claimed to be a saint. Maybe except for that one part by the end of his 4 day no-sleep drug ride.
>>
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>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322410
"I'm going to save you (from this destiny you picked for yourself)" was the Trascendent One's thing.

If we say it here and now, Pinky will flip her shit.
>>
>>34322410
Pinky never asked about that, I don't think we should tell her things she isn't asking to know.
>>
>>34322410
We weren't going to do anything to Pinky. We didn't agree with the Three Stooges and took the third option, killing the Transcendent One.

That's how we help Pinky. We destroy ourselves and put her back together.
>>
>>34322409
Fuck, I'm just glad that Pinky didn't kill off the stooges. I don't know if she could have done so, but I'm glad she didn't.
>>
>>34322294
>[x]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
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>>34322311
>>34322322
No no no no no! NO NO NO NO NO NO!
DONT tell her that you want to help her for fucks sake!

Remember that the winged bitch is responsible for all this shit because also wanted to help Madoka! Saying that we want to help her make us look as bad as Homura!
>>
>>34322438
Pinky does not remember the TNO!
>>
>>34322294
[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
I don't want the situation getting worse.
>>
>>34322388
Because I think her reaction to being threatened is going to be less deadly that her reaction to being lied to.

From her perspective, we've got shit all to threaten her with, so a "threat" wouldn't seem credible. And to be fair, at this point, she's not wrong.
>>
>>34322311
>>34322322
Fuck no.
>>
>>34322461
So we want to help Pinky go back to being the Blessed Lady.

So sue us.
>>
>>34322294
[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322446
>>34322438

>We weren't going to do anything to Pinky. We didn't agree with the Three Stooges and took the third option, killing the Transcendent One.
>That's how we help Pinky. We destroy ourselves and put her back together.

Yeah that's still plotting to do something to Pinky without her knowing.

Pinky would probably prefer to stay her insane self.

However Pinky kind of... hates us? For what we did to her, so if we can shift all that hate onto the Trascendent One we might be able to avoid suffering the hate ourselves.
>>
>>34322461
Oh fuck right
>>34322409
Changing vote to
[X] Say nothing.
>>
>>34322461
Right. Telling her you plan to kill her or havent decided if you want to kill her is so much better option.

NOT.

By telling her about TNO we create a common enemy for Chiaki and Pinky.
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>
>>34322476
she's a bipolar mercurial capricious demon, she could take a compliment as a threat if she wanted to.
>>
>>34322436
top kek
>>
>>34322503
THIS. So much this.

Pinky has little to worry about. We're fixing what we screwed up.
>>
>>34322294
>[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322294
>[X] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.


Earlier Homu saying " I want to help you" ended up fucking everything up. I don't think she'll take it too kindly.
>>
>tell a self-proclaimed all-knowing entity that there's someone out there to kill her, which happens to be another version of us

Blinded by justice. How fitting.
>>
>>34322503
We don't, you numbnuts. Telling her that we want to kill her changes jack shit because that's exactly what she believes Homura wants to do.
She won't kill or harm Chiaki for this, since that works perfectly well for her plan of making her suffer as much as possible.
>>
>>34322532
If she didn't know about the feathers, she needs to.
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>>34322532
If she was all-knowing, she would not have had to ask if we had talked to the three stooges.

Pinky is NOT all knowing.
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>>34322294
>[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
Say. Fucking. Nothing.
>>
>>34322545
Do the feathers mean we're basically pulling the transcendent one with us in the timestop with Pinky and any second more we spend we risk the two meeting each other?
>>
>>34322520
>>34322503
Akemi Homura has been trying TO FIX MADOKA for 900 years for fucks sake and you want to tell her that you want to continue that?

Even if we want to fix her, she is fucking insane, we do not tell her that we want to fix this no because it will come out the wrong way!
>>
>>34321761
Yes.
Just because I would have voted against it (trying to bring us to a good ending) doesn't mean its not very interesting, possibly more so than success.
>>
>>34322562
So we shouldn't try to fix her? Just because we failed previously?
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>>34322294
>[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322553
But that's what she wants you to think
>>
>>34322553
You are probably right, but it is possible she asked to test us.

Considering her happy demeanor which changed into murderous once we admitted to lying, she probably did not know.
>>
>>34322562
So you want to choose the option where Chiaki acts as though she is collecting the golden weapons to KILL PINKY is the better option to telling her about TNO?

Thats insane!
>>
>>34322572
We at least shouldn't tell her about it.
>>
>>34322294
>[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322572
That's not his point. We should try, but she shouldn't know.
>>
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>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
did I made it in time?
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
Inform her of TNO and about the feathers
>>
[x]...I'm reserving judgment until further notice.
>>
>>34322585
>So you want to choose the option where Chiaki acts as though she is collecting the golden weapons to KILL PINKY is the better option to telling her about TNO?
You do realize that Pinky believes that she created the Golden Weapon for this exact purpose? She wants Chiaki to collect the weapons and then break her.
>>
>>34322576
Sorry, but GM has confirmed Pinky is not all knowing in ask.fm.

Pinky does not know about Homucifer, while Madokami does. Therefore Pinky lacks Madokamis omniscience.
>>
>>34322294
>[X] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>Pinky is afraid we want to kill her
>let's act suspicious as hell and hide things from her

Yeah, foolproof plan.
>>
>>34322294
[X] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322294
>[] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
Zip it already.
>>
>>34322616
Where is this stated? Why the fuck would Pinky want Chiaki to kill her? Heck, she is angry here because she thinks the three stooges have convinced Chiaki to do just that (kill Pinky).
>>
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>>34322294

Alright, pausing thread for now! We'll continue tomorrow night with the most voted option! Thank you for your participation, feedback is always great!

We have two writeups today, so questions answered after them!
>>
>>34322294
>[X]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
Trying to hide shit and lying has made things worse every time.
>>
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>>34322266
>>
>>34322599
probably not it's just that nobody posted the banner
>>
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Magical Juggernaut Heather Crunch versus Magical Ascetic Valentina Tenko

"Sister, she's going to wake up any minute now."

My eyes SNAP open as consciousness returns to me, and I spy a sneak straddling me with a sheepish smile, in a yellow shirt that SCANDALOUSLY reveals her navel, and grey sweatpants that accentuate her FOCUS CRUNCH FOCUS DON'T LET HER GET IN YOUR HEAD!

In her hand she is holding another syringe. I thought myself SAFE sleeping in a negligee, but I WAS GRAVELY MISTAKEN. I could almost overlook this HORRIFIC breach of trust and violation of my personal space... If this wasn't the THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!

"NAKAJIMAAAA!" I bellow at her loudly, which only makes her smile bigger, "I TOLD you to stop trying to experiment on me in my sleep!"

"I apologize," she says demurely. Well, that's more-

Wait, that's the other Nakajima, standing off to the side. "Not... Not you," I clarify. Why's she the only one dressed?

"Oh crackle," Nakajima - the first Nakajima, that is - squawks, trying to stand. "She's awake!"

No more games. I make to snatch the syringe from her hands, informing this SATANIC SIREN that "I'LL be taking THIS devil's instrument, and-"

"Kyaaaa~!" she screeches, before toppling on top of me. Of all the stupid, contrived nonsense...

I NARROWLY avoid having my eye pierced with the needle, which clatters onto the floor! "Geh... Get off of me!" I rage at her, trying to untangle myself!

Wait, how'd her hand get in there? Don't even think about- "Ohhh, that's soft and squishy~!"

"A-ah..." I coo helplessly as a jolt of electricity runs up my spine... THEN SNAP TO MY SENSES AND TENSE UP, THUNDERING, "RELEASE YOUR GRASP ON ME, YOU SINFUL SUCCUBUS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL-"

"Jaaaaade!" this VIOLENT VIXEN SHRIEKS, attempting to RESTRAIN me! "Stop taking pictures and get the syringe, I think she's serious!"

"A very nice pose," comes the voice of the other Nakajima, along with the sound of a camera shutter clicking.

[1/11]
>>
>>34322294
>>[X] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
>>
>>34322662
thanks for running Decu.
>>
>>34322663
5 seconds too late. Ouch

Anyway, which option won? The whole thing descended into a confused mess.
>>
>>34322294
>[x] Say nothing. You're going to make this situation worse. Just try and get your breath back.
Just shut your whore mouth!
>>
"Jaaaade! Hurry, she's about to-"

"DYNAMIC EXIT!" I CRY OUT, REMOVING Nakajima from my person by BRACING against her and THROWING her off with my feet! HAH! Even when not transformed, THE CRUNCH TRAIN EJECTS UNWANTED PASSENGERS! Nakajima LAUNCHES OFF the bed, clear to the other side of the room, and hits the wall!

"Owww!" the girl groans, stumbling forward. I see what you're planning, Nakajima, and I will THWART it! For as soon as she's stumbled over to where the syringe is, I am already LEAPING out of bed and DESCENDING UPON HER LIKE THE FIST OF GOD! She only has a moment to pick it up and call out "Got it!" before THE CRUNCH TRAIN RUNS HER OVER AND PINS HER DOWN!

Prying it out of her hand, I declare triumphantly, "your nefarious needle is MINE now!"

"Hey, give that back!" Nakajima calls out beneath me, unable to pry me off. "That solution's really hard to replace!" she adds, trying AGAIN to grab my chest, but I RESTRAIN her arm while keeping the nefarious instrument out of her reach.

"I'M going to hold on to this," I declare, to the BOTH of them. "You can have it back when I am GONE."

"Give it back!" Nakajima pleads. "Pleeeeease!" She's frowning heavily, but I will NOT be moved as I am going to focus on the OTHER Nakajima instead!

"We would appreciate it if you returned that to us, Miss Crunch," other Nakajima says politely.

I shake my head, for I have made up my mind! "NO!"

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" says Nakajima hopefully. I turn to look - DAMMIT SHE'S MAKING PUPPY-DOG EYES AT ME! Will failing... resolve crumbling... GAH! This soft-heartedness of mine is going to come back to haunt me someday. I just know it!

"If you promise to stop trying to conduct SCIENCE on me in my sleep," I say slowly, "THEN I'll give it back. Deal?"

Nakajima pleads pleadingly, "can we run more tests on you while you're awake, then?"

"What?" I ask incredulously, keeping the wiggling woman held down. "Why would I EVER allow that?" What are they thinking?

[2/11]
>>
>>34322662
thanks for more fun.
>>
>>34322685
The "I'mma fix yo" was the landslide.
>>
>>34322662
Thanks for the thread!
>>
"To test your physical limits beyond what we have already tried," explains other Nakajima.

"Aren't you just the teensiest bit curious?" inquires Nakajima. Her lower lip is trembling. Confound her, she raises a good point.

"Nnngh... No funny business?" I ask.

"We're not gonna kill you or make you wish you'd died, Crunchy," reassures Amber, who THEN adds, "unless something goes wrong, but what are the chances of that?"

"Remarkably low if we are not trying," says other Nakajima, having moved adjacent to me. FORTUNATELY, the implement we are bargaining for is out of BOTH their reaches.

"I'll agree," I concede... BUT I state my terms, saying, "that is, IF you swear that you will not conduct experiments on me while I sleep, and will NOT use this opportunity for EVIL!" My grip tightens as I bellow "SWEAR ON IT!"

Amber calls out, "aww, butterpoop!"

"...Huh?"

"Just kidding," Amber says with a grin, holding up her hand, pinky extended. "Pinky swear!"

"PINKY SWEAR!" I yell out, RELEASING my grasp on her to wrap my pinky around hers.

"Pinky swear," murmurs the other Nakajima, linking her pinky around ours. We hold it for a moment, and... I hand the other Nakajima the syringe. Amber cheers.

"Alright then!" I say, my mood considerably improved, "are you preparing breakfast again?"

"Yah huh!" Amber chirps, nodding her head, "Jade and I are invincible when we're together!"

"Unstoppable culinary machines," affirms other Nakajima, the syringe already gone.

"I would like that!" I reply with a smile, then order, "SNAP TO IT, THEN!"

"Umm... Could you get off of me, first?" asks Amber, face slightly red. What is-

"GYAH!" I CRY OUT AS I LEAP OFF THE SINISTER SEDUCTRESS AS QUICKLY AS I CAN, THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED, AND POINTEDLY IGNORING THE THOUGHTS SAYING TO STAY ON HER! Nakajima GIGGLES at this! NOT FUNNY!

-----

[3/11]
>>
"DIABOLICAL DEMONIC DELILAHS, THE BOTH OF YOU!" I scream at the Nakajimas. Amber just titters and Jade looks at me impassively. The impact is probably lost after being said through a mouthful of food.

Swallowing, I clarify, saying, "Having said that, you are EXCELLENT cooks!" Before coming here, it'd been AGES since I'd had an American-style spread. A plate of crispy bacon and steaming scrambled eggs over here. A plate of golden waffles DROWNING in syrup and butter over there. Before me, PUMPKIN MUFFINS AND HASH BROWNS! I click my chopsticks together and hold up another slice of bacon, then start to DEVOUR THE GOODNESS.

Nakajima bows her head, and starts murmuring, "gosh, and here I was hoping you'd say I'd make a great wife someday."

I nearly spit out my meal. Was she attempting to make me choke to death? I'M ON TO YOU, NAKAJIMAAAAAAAAA!

"Aww, Crunchy's cute when she's blushing~!" she teases, my face growing hotter. I... Just... Argh!

Other Nakajima interjects, "you said she was cute all the time." G-grr... Stop fanning the flames, you duplicitous-

"What? Jade, I did not!" a pink-faced Nakajima cries in outrage.

"Did so," claims other Nakajima, holding up her phone and proclaiming, "I have proof."

Nakajima is pointedly unable to look at my glorious, if flustered, visage, stammering, "Well don't tell her that!"

"Too late," says other Nakajima, holding the incriminating item just out of reach of her sibling. I feel a powerful urge to avert my head...

Swallowing, I croak, "nuh... Nuh... New subject!" Recapturing their attention, I ask, "When did you STOP poisoning my food?"

A serious atmosphere chokes the cheer out of the room. Both of them look equally shocked. "Uh oh," Nakajima groans, "you noticed?"

"I'm NOT stupid enough to miss it," I inform her, pointing my chopsticks at her. "Now ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

Other Nakajima bows at me, stating, "We have been trying since the beginning, and only stopped today. My apologies."

[4/11]
>>
>>34322294
>[]...I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to help you.
>>34322311
>Tell her about the feathers. Tell her about the Transcendent One.

Going all in on this one...
>>
>>34322707
Did we tell her about TNO, or just say we were going to help?
>>
"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Nakajima says insincerely. Her curiosity overwhelms her tact, and she presses, "say, you haven't been feeling nauseous or sleepy or anything?"

Puffing my chest out, I proudly declare, "Not in the SLIGHTEST!"

"Be serious," Nakajima says without ANY trace of amusement, "this is important science stuff."

Setting down my chopsticks, I inform them, "I have NOT felt any such -weakness- after consuming these meals."

The two of them stare at me for about a minute. They see only the BLINDING truth, as other Nakajima states, "invincible body."

I grin at them, the seriousness SHATTERED, and shout, "INVINCIBLE!"

"Yaaaay!" Nakajima cheers while hugging her sister. "We're off the hook!"

"No you're not!" I interrupt, startling them both. "Between THIS and allowing you to continue your experiments, YOU OWE ME." With how they're staring at the ground, it's CLEAR that they understand this. FINALLY, I have the upper hand!

Satisfied, I take a swig of milk before I pick my chopsticks back up, and RESUME my consumption.

Mmm, these eggs are nice and fluffy. Taste like VICTORY.

"Sooo," Nakajima says nervously, "what happened with the flower lady?"

Pointing my utensils at the Nakajimas, I inform the both of them, "she REFUSES to see me after the INFERNO CONSUMED her flower fields!" It wasn't supposed to rage out of control like that.

"But on the plus side, no more wasp's nest!" Nakajima volunteers.

"No more anything," other Nakajima drones.

"In any case," I continue after finishing a muffin, "I -must- meet with the Spiritual Liege once more, and find out WHAT is on the itinerary for today."

"And we'll tag along out of sight, right Jade?" Nakajima says excitedly, turning to her sister.

"Completely silent," other Nakajima confirms.

"SEE TO IT THAT YOU DO!" I roar, transforming into my costume at long last, "For I have ANSWERS to find!"

Both of them nod in response. Nakajima fist-bumps her sister and calls out, "Nakajima twin powers, gooo!"

-----

[5/11]
>>
>>34322697
>THE CRUNCH TRAIN EJECTS UNWANTED PASSENGERS

this needs to be Crunch's new battlecry
>>
>>34322668

Larro what the heck I nearly spilled my protein shake!!!
>>
>>34322662
Thanks for the exciting thread.
>>
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"Aiyaaaaah!" screeches the Spiritual Liege of the Seventh, who looks quite cross. "Crunch why you come back?"

Bowing slightly, I answer her, "SPIRITUAL LIEGE! I am here for the remainder of the month, as I seek-"

"You set back Plum Blossom anger management two years!" she interrupts. STOP DOING THAT, IT'S RUDE!

"That was not my intention," I answer her plainly. It wasn't supposed to get out of control like that.

"You not even sorry!" she seethes, MENACING me with that... paper on a stick thing. "Xiaomei make you sorry!"

Thumping my chest with my fist, I PROUDLY declare, "even so, I ERRRADICATED the wasp's nest, AS I WAS INSTRUCTED TO-"

"Xiaomei not care!" she interrupts AGAIN, pointing now towards the western hallway. "You train with other noisy Rank Leader!"

"But-"

"You dismissed!" the Spiritual Liege says with finality, turning her back on me. It seems there is simply NO REASONING with her.

...I WORRY for the state of this Officio with such a person in charge.

I take my leave and STRIDE down the indicated hall. The place is only MODESTLY furnished, with PLANTS and PICTURES and PICTURES OF PLANTS lining it, aside from the various closed doors. The hall is DEATHLY quiet, aside from the clacking of my steps on the wooden floor.

And the various sounds the Nakajimas are making as they follow me. Sounds such as jumping and LOUDLY somersaulting, things that are COMPLETELY out of place when trying to be quiet and sneak around. Even I know that much, as the Big Boss INSISTED I learn about how to move stealthily. While it hasn't seen use, it allows me to know, WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING, that they are doing it WRONG!

"Hey Crunchy! We're being ninjas!"

...Do NOT look, Crunch. It's simply NOT worth it.

The only door open is a sliding door at the end of the hall. I make to move through it, and look around-

Wait, my Crunch senses are tingling! DANGER IS NEAR!

There's movement to the left of me. I turn to face it just as a BURNING SWORD BEARS DOWN UPON ME!

[6/11]
>>
"BARE-HANDED BLADE BLOCK!" I CALL OUT, THROWING UP MY HANDS AND CATCHING THE SHARP EDGE BEFORE IT CAN REACH ME!

"And so comes the Truth-Seeker," speaks the wielder, a girl with long blue hair, "who holds the sun upon her back!"

"What is the MEANING of this?" I demand, holding the searing hot blade between my hands and forcing it back! "And what is the MEANING of that thing you said? WHO ARE YOU?"

My assailant WISELY sheathes her blade after that. "I am the lone island in a sea of tranquil fury!" she answers.

"...Huh?"

"I am the whispering winds and the babbling brooks, intermingling and shifting!" she elaborates. I don't get what she's talking about.

"No, your NAME!" I angrily demand of her. "What is your NAME?"

Putting her hands on her hips and staring straight ahead, the person says, "My name is Valentina Tenko! The Eversor Soul Temperer of this most sacred of places!"

"Is that like a Rank Leader?" I ask of this confusing person.

After relaxing her posture, she turns to look at me and COMPLETELY IGNORES MY QUESTION! "Are you the one known as Heather Crunch?"

Aha! "I am indeed!" I respond. "So YOU are the one I was supposed to find."

"Indeed I am!" Tenko replies, and asks of me, "but have you found yourself?"

I frown in confusion. "I'm... I'm right here, aren't I?" I ask. I'm me, right? I pull at the fabric of my jacket to see that, yes, I'm almost certainly myself and not another person.

Tenko throws her arms wide and turns away from me, declaring, "And yet you are nowhere at all!"

"No," I try to explain to her, "I'm right-"

She looks over her shoulder, looking very pleased with herself when she assures me, "I see now that you have much to learn, Seeker of Enlightenment!"

Between this, the Spiritual Liege, and the Nakajimas, my patience is NEARLY AT ITS END! "I KNOW that!" I SHOUT, GESTICULATING WILDLY. "THAT is why I'm here!"

"You only know of battles without!" Tenko scoffs, "but what of your battles within?"

[7/11]
>>
"You're not making any SENSE!" I SCREAM!

She's not even looking at me! She's looking outside! "The zealous fires that race across the sky draw closer to the horizon!" she proclaims, spinning around and drawing her blade from its sheath in a burst of flame. "Come, Seeker of Wisdom, show me your heart!" What is she-

Wait.

I can't help but smile at this. "HAH! I know what -that- means!" I say with COMPLETE CERTAINTY! IMPOSING my will into physical form, my Eversword manifests in my hands! Both of us take our stances, and it's Tenko that makes the first move! My trusty blade repels a fiery slash, but Tenko simply uses the momentum to make ANOTHER swing! I am unguarded, but not defenseless, as my UNBREAKABLE body takes the attack, and that ones that follow, in stride!

...Well, it hurts a bit. Quite a bit, really. I forgot how hard Rank Leaders hit.

Tenko follows up with a FIERCE upward kick. I am sent FLYING and reeling from pain as she LEAPS after me! I am COMPLETELY HELPLESS!

HAH! LIKE THAT'D HAPPEN!

I WILL heaviness into my blade, and I PLUMMET to the ground before she can reach me. Tenko knows what's coming next, but her evasive maneuvers are NOT fast enough to stop the Crunch Train!

"COUNTER SWING!" I bellow, whipping my sword back and SLASHING into the airborne figure! Even though she blocks some of it, she CRASHES into the far wall!

I thought it would break, being wood, but it did not. Curious. But not important! As she points her weapon at me, a CONE OF FLAME ENGULFS ME! The searing heat is even MORE intense than that of Nakajima's energy katana, and is QUITE PAINFUL! It is even singeing my costume away!

BUT HEATHER CRUNCH BURNS HOTTER!

CHARGING THROUGH THE INFERNO, I slash at her AGAIN! Even though Tenko is able to parry my blow, I FORCE her back with the sheer weight of it, and she seems to be in WORSE shape than I! I can tell she's holding back - we both are, but I don't know how much stronger she can get.

[8/11]
>>
>>34322662
What did the three stooges think about Chiakis decision?
>>
>>34322719
>PINKY SWEAR!" I yell out, RELEASING my grasp on her to wrap my pinky around hers.
>>
>>34322811
Well, it got them electrocuted, and possibly dead.

How do you think they felt about it?
>>
"Your fighting is like a raging typhoon!" she commends me, panting slightly. "And yet, it lacks something!"

Holding up my sword, I ask of her, "What does it lack? What is the answer that I seek?"

Smiling at me, Tenko stands up and dusts herself off, before slipping her weapon back into its sheath. The temperature of the room quickly drops. She points at me and exclaims, "You are as the monkey with the key to the plantation!"

Huh? "Did you just call me a monkey?" I ask indignantly, bringing my sword back up.

"You lack discipline!" she clarifies. Which... Doesn't clarify anything.

"Discipline?" I ask yet again, letting my Eversword disappear.

"You rely too much on the strength of your soul gem, rather than the strength of your soul itself!" she proclaims, pointing outside. "Have you ever seen the sunset through your true eyes?"

"I don't understand what you're saying."

Tenko faces me once more, a self-satisfied look on her face. "Have you heard the world laugh without invoking your magic?" she inquires.

"...Does hearing Nakajima's giggling while dressed for bed count?" I ask warily in return.

She shakes her head. "I'm afraid not," she says, advancing upon me. "You shine as brightly as any pearl, but beneath that luster you are still merely a grain of sand."

She's standing uncomfortably close right now. Why is everyone here so STRANGE? "Could you just explain to me what to do here?" I query.

"Shed that garish luster, Seeker of Justice!" she retorts, clenching her fists. "Bare your true self to me, as the grain of sand it always was!"

I let her words sink in for a moment, then asks, just to make sure, "You mean transform back into a normal girl instead of a magical girl?"

Tenko confirms this with a nod.

[9/11]
>>
I only do that at bedtime, though. Which means... "I'm not comfortable running around in a nightie, or just my undergarments," I tell her, hoping she picks up on my discomfort.

"Then bare your soul to the world without the threads of fate binding you down!" she yells, tugging at my clothes.

"What? NO!" I yell, pushing her back!

"Is the baby bird afraid to leave the comfort of its shell?" Tenko taunts. What is WITH these people?

"I said NO!" I screech at her!

"Then I shall be your wings, Truth-Seeker!" Tenko exclaims, and- Oh no, she's actually starting to undress. "Gaze upon my brilliant innocence and feel no shame!"

Shameless is right! "JUST, JUST GET ME SOME NORMAL CLOTHES!" I yell!

"Very well, Truth-Seeker!" she proclaims, clearly disappointed. Ugh! If she weren't my equal in battle, I would have NO respect for her right now!

"Here you are!" Tenko exclaims after pulling something out of her inventory. "A new shell for the hermit crab!"

I catch what she tosses to me and grunt at her in acknowledgement. She has given a black sleeveless athletic shirt and a pair of long pants with a jungle camouflage print, that flare slightly at the hips. They feel comfortable in my hands, and look stretchy enough to fit.

Both of them are wrinkly, and smell faintly of peaches, but seem to be the right measurements. And she just had these clothes in her inventory, when she -clearly- lacks the endowments for them. Disturbing.

"Make haste, Truth-Seeker!" the increasingly bothersome person urges. Sighing heavily, I transform out of my costume, and back into my nightgown. I pull it over my head, careful not to tear it, and-

"Nice!" calls the annoying voice of Nakajima, followed by a VERY tasteless wolf whistle. I freeze like a deer in the headlights, my back to the entrance.

"Please just stare quietly, sister," other Nakajima murmurs over the sound of her camera's shutter. "You are making a scene."

Ignore them. Just ignore the perverts, Crunch.

-----

[10/11]
>>
>>34322825
Why do you think I am asking!

I doubt they are dead though. I figure Pinky would have killed them from the start if that was possible, since she clearly did not want them and Chiaki talking.
>>
"Crunchyyy, come on!" pesters Nakajima, prodding at the back of my head.

"Sister," other Nakajima murmurs, "Miss Tenko said Miss Crunch was to meditate under the waterfall until sunset." Which is what I've been doing for the last... I'm not sure how much time has passed. I've had my eyes closed since Tenko left.

The freezing water pounds on my head and shoulders relentlessly. I'm actually starting to shiver. But thus far, I've been able to put that out of mind. I've come close to achieving some sort of inner peace.

And then these two show up.

"She said a bunch of baloney!" Nakajima insists. I believe it's her that is grabbing me from behind. "Now help me pick her up!"

"What if she fights back?" retorts other Nakajima.

I'm let go of, and then something is planted against the small of my back. "Plan B, then!" And then, in as many days, I am pushed into the dirt and mud! Wiping the muck from my eyes, I make to turn and glare at my oppressor, but there's something more interesting ahead.

Half a dozen identical copies of other Nakajima stand at the ready, eyes staring dully ahead. As one, their heads turn to face me with a loud clicking sound. Looking closer, their skin has a metallic finish, just like...

ACTUAL FIGHTING ROBOTS! OH MY GOD!

"At last!" bellows Nakajima as she takes up position behind the assembled FIGHTING ROBOTS! "I, Amber Nakajima, have the great and mighty Heather Crunch at my mercy! Now, bear witness to the power of SCIENCE!"

Pointing at me, Amber gives the order to her henchmaids! "Go, my minions!" she cries out. "Bring her to meeeee!" Over the sound of machinery moving, her evil laughter ECHOES where there should be none!

I may have to explain myself to the Soul Temperer later... But FIGHTING ROBOTS!

"BRING IT ON, NAKAJIMAAAAAAA!" I ROAR AT HER!

"Yes?" a voice demurely queries behind me. I spin around and see other Nakajima doing the waterfall meditation I had taken up until moments before.

"N-no, the other- NEVER MIND!"

[11/11]
>>
>>34322811
A bit shocked, I assume.
>>
>>34322825
They're already dead. :/ The only thing that can destroy them is if three other souls take their place in the gun.
>>
>>34322662
Thanks for running this quest Decu! Its been great fun
>>
I just realised!

How are we going to explain the blood that we vomited during the timestop?

Its going to be there after the timestop ends right? And there are thousands watching.
>>
Omake : Running

"Can't go on..."

"Ye can't quit now, Slam! This be but th' halfway point!"

"But... I've been running... So far..."

"Thirty miles in thirty minutes, but ye still have an hour t' go!!"

"But... But all the laps..."

"If ye can't even do an hour of runnin' without wavin' a white flag, then-"

"...Can I... Can I have some... Can I have water?"

"Arr! Here ye go!"

"...'nks. I can... I can keep going, I think."

"That's th' spirit! Now let's see if ye can do -twice- as many laps in that much time!"

-----

And that's it for now!

Thanks to Deculture for letting me write
Thanks to Cooldown for letting me bounce ideas off of her, some dialogue help, for Tenko, and for the title
Thanks to Minty for proofreading and a couple suggestions for fitting stuff in through the space constraints
With apologies to Kashiwa Kiseri for (poorly) imitating their art style

This may have been the silliest thing I've ever written that's canon to MGNQ.

Also, new stories might come less frequently now that uni classes are starting up again. I'm hoping they won't, but I'd be happy if I can get something out at least every couple weeks.

I gotta go somewhere -right now-, though, so I won't be able to stick around. Thanks again for reading!
>>
>>34322902
After Sayaka has been in our time stop. I think she'll understand.
>>
>>34322902
"Indigestion."
>>
>>34322902

Pulse Midori: "Please illusion the blood away. And we really need to talk."
>>
I love Heather Crunch.
>>
The Iron Circle
Chapter IV: Iron Without

Evening in the Sahara.

The cool sands of the desert, their once-blistering heat now sucked dry by the night's chill, left little dust clouds in the dunes as the wind howled and howled and tossed them about.

Atop of one dune on the endless wastes sat a figure. It was vaguely humanoid and hunched over, keeping its eyes transfixed on the two-thousand foot machine looming over the desert. Gusts of wind threw dust in its eyes, but it didn't notice, didn't even flinch, as its eyes were not of flesh but were instead made of plastic and metal.

Movement.

At once, the figure swiveled its right eye, and only its right eye, towards the source. Two Ironforms were striding across the sands, accompanied by a floating object. The desert wastes muffled the sounds of their heavy tread. Data archives indicated the Ironforms were both Heavy chassis, the floating object a recon drone.

The figure went death-still. <Audio signatures detected. Activating recording systems...>

"...so that's when Karla gives me the whole 'let's just be friends' spiel, a-and I just had to, to get out of the room, you know? I mean, how could she just -say- that? After all we did together?"

The second voice grated, its tone rendered harsher by reluctance. "...yeah. Right. Whatever."

Soul Gem signatures and unique markers on the chassis told it who the pair was. Two Magical Girls from the Toxotes Order, no one on registered as anyone particularly important. Nonetheless, protocol demanded that it keep its recording devices active in case it picked up anything of interest, and so the directional microphone stayed on.

The pair spoke of nothings to stave off boredom. Every step carried them closer and closer to the dune upon which sat the figure.

"Anyway,' said the first, her voice taking on a coy tone. Data archives identified her as Hekate Ervin. "So how about that new girl, hmm?"

(1/11)
>>
>>34322811
>"Aaa! I-It hurts! S-stop! Please!"
>"Tss... that... damn... bitch!"
>"YES. IT. IS. A. GOOD. PAIN."
>>
(2/11)
"The one from the Ninth?" grunted the other one. Pala Greut, leader of Squad Alpha-Five. "What about her?"

A giggle. "A Japanese girl! Redhead, too! She's my type and everything! Ooh, I wonder what sort Ironform she's gonna end up with--"

Twenty feet. Ten feet. Five feet. Any closer, and the patrolling girls would run straight into the figure. They had turned their gaze towards it several times, yet never once did they notice it was there.

"--you saw her too, right? She's got this really tight little--"

Two feet...

Bafflers rendered the figure invisible to the Ironforms' scanners, but all the stealth technology in the world would mean nothing if they simply bumped into it. As they drew closer, programmed contingencies within the figure began to go active.

<Proximity alert. Proximity alert. Arming anti-pursuit countermeasures.>

One foot...

"--shit, now I really want to see her wearing one of those things they have in Japan, you know, those--"

<Priming self-destruct device. Engage evasive maneuvers in 3...2...1...>

"Hekate."

There was a *clang* of metal on metal. The Pala had kicked Hekate in the back of her leg.

"Hekate," she said, "I swear to god: if you signed up to be my patrol buddy just to tell me about your fucking sex life and how fucking cute the new girl is, I'm going to shoot you. I don't care if I end up in Containment for an entire fucking year, and I don't care if I'm Castigated for the rest of my entire fucking life." She punctuated her rant with jabs from her gun-arm.

"So if you say one more -goddamn- word about the novitiate's butt, face, or boobs, or start bitching about your empty 'receiver jack', I -will- shoot you. And I will shoot you until I fucking run out ammo." One last jab. "Got it?"

"Ok, fine..." grumbled Hekate. "But seriously, I'm not the only one, am I? She's--"

The sound of a high-caliber round cycling rendered her silent.

"Alright, alright! Geez..."
>>
Has anyone archived this yet?
>>
(3/11)
"Also, patrol route's this way," said the other girl, waving a gun-arm off in another direction. "Come on, let's finish this up. Tonight's the season finale for 'Solium Ludi' and I'll be fucked if I miss it."

"Ooh, you've got Webflick, right? Can I watch it with you?"

"No."

"What?! Why noooot?!"

And so the pair continued their patrol, squabbling as they went. The rounded, disc-shaped recon drone hovered silently ahead of them.

The figure waited, stock still, as the sounds of the quarreling duo faded into the moaning of the desert wind. Only when the pair was out of sight did it relax its countermeasures and begin its most important duty.

<Proximity warning canceled. Returning to standby mode. Preparing to transmit recorded data...>

<Data prepared for exload. Transmitting...transmitting...transmitting...>

-

Far, far away, in the cold gloom of the underground, she smiled at the streams of data flickering across her vision. Beneath her the man moaned as he lay on a metal surgical table, restraints creaking as he struggled, futilely, for his freedom.

The sounds of his misery brought out of her stupor, though she continued to digest the information even as she brought out another tool. 'A new lamb brought into the fold?' she mused, as she lowered the whining, spinning buzzsaw through the man's leg, just below the knee. 'Curious. I wonder what she is like...'

The man's choking screams brought her out of her pensive mood. Already her eye-lenses were smeared with his splattered life-fluids.

"Hush now," she cooed, stroking his trembling, sweating, face. She ignored the spittle that sprayed from his lips, his whimpered pleas for mercy. "Hush, for you will be reborn into a body far more glorious than this one of stinking flesh and blood. A beautiful form, a sublime form..."
>>
>>34322970
The writeups haven't finished yet.
>>
(4/11)
She lowered the buzzsaw again, this time on the man's other leg. Screaming filled the gloom again, and to her ears it was a grating, unpleasant noise. How sweeter the voice would be when disgusting meat and bone would be supplanted by consecrated metal. Agony was the fire through which this wretched creature would be forged, and she was the hammer--in this way did she honor the Omnissiah.

As her arm changed from a circular saw to a scalpel, she let out a whisper that reeked of devotion.

"Yes...a form holy in the eyes of the Blessed Lady of Machines."

And there, in the cool gloom of the underground, the sound of screaming mingled and mixed with the shriek of cutting tools, until they all became one.

-

'Well, this isn't the -worst- situation I've ever been in, but it's up there.'

Honoka Iwakura found herself crouched behind a low brick wall. She was in a quiet little town--somewhere in Europe, judging from the architecture--whose name she was too distracted to bother remembering. There was dust around her feet, sun in her eyes, and a blocky battle rifle in her fists.

She was also wearing state-of-the-art powered armor--courtesy of the Fourth--and surrounded by more firepower than she'd ever been.

The Vindicare started to slide the magazine out of her rifle to check its load, before realizing her visor's HUD already displayed the information. Crunching the box of bullets back home, she brought up a map of the local area, reviewing the layout and the marked heat signatures showing her were the enemies lay.

Fifteen humans, plus the heat-wash of a heavy engine--an IFV, from the looks of it. All of them arrayed in a semi-circle around the lone low wall that served as her cover, nestled in a scattering of brick houses two or three stories tall or hiding in the alleyways between them. Images from her recon drone told her she was up against trained, well-equipped professionals.
>>
(5/11)
Not Magical Girls, or else she would have been cut to pieces already, but nor were they the undisciplined yakuza muscleheads with peashooters she was used to; they had military-grade body armor, assault rifles, iron discipline, and a goddamn armored vehicle. All she had on her was a battle rifle, some ammo, a sidearm, two of each of smoke grenades and frag grenades, and her armor. Those were the tools she'd been given to kill fifteen soldiers and an IFV. No magic allowed either, according to mission parameters.

Again, not the worst situation she'd ever been in—going up against a Witch with just a pistol won that one--but not the best, either.

A part of her wondered why she was even here. Back in Japan, her job was to provide long-range fire support or overwatch. None of this run 'n gun Rambo business. That sort of thing was for nutcases like the new Warmaster or Eversor wannabes--hers was the methodical elegance of the marksman. Long range, preferably somewhere up high with a nice view, one shot, one kill.

Alas, she thought, as she viciously racked the slide of her sidearm.

Putting the discouraging thoughts aside, Honoka's mind worked to formulate a plan. Her objective was to neutralize all hostiles in the mission area; given that she was outnumbered, she opted to divide and conquer.

'Smoke grenade it is,' she thought to herself. She unhooked the tube-shaped munition from her belt and tossed it up and down once, twice, trying to get a feel for the weight of the device while wearing her suit.

'Here goes.'

She tossed the grenade. It spun end over end through the air and landed with a *clink* in the dirt in front of the IFV. Honoka crouched back down before someone could draw a bead on her, and tensed, ready to sprint.

There was a distinct pop as the smoke grenade went off. She waited a few seconds for the smoke to spread, and then it was time to move.
>>
>>34322810
You can't kill the CRUNCH TRAIN
HEATHER CRUNCH will live on
The Nakajimas tried to SCIENCE the CRUNCH TRAIN
But they failed as they were smite to the ground

Valentina Tenko tried to INCINERATE the CRUNCH TRAIN
But she failed as she was pushed to the wall!

No one can destroy the CRUNCH TRAIN
HEATHER CRUNCH will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the CRUNCH TRAIN
We tried to win for why, we do not know

HEATHER CRUNCH, she comes from HELL
>>
(6/11)
She dashed out of cover, hurtling towards a ruin of a shack, her feet and the bullets of enemy fire kicking up dust as she went. Her own speed, enhanced as it was by her 'Maximus' armor, almost made her stumble and pause in shock. Her magical nature meant she was already faster than most Olympic athletes, but this...she felt like she'd reached the shack in the blink of an eye. She'd moved so fast she almost crashed into the building's wall, just barely managing to come to a skidding halt in time. Before she could fully wrap her mind around her newfound speed, shouts from the opposing soldiers kept her focused on the situation.

Her recon drone drifted momentarily out of cover. It sent its sensor feed back to her visor, rebuilding the tactical map she'd been looking at before.

Already the soldiers were displacing, waving to one another with hand-signs. She'd have to move soon, she realized, or they were going to flank her. Noting a weakness in their deployment on the tactical map, she dashed out of cover once more, towards the blasted remains of a two-story house.

A window shattered, demolished, as Honoka dove through it. Even as a Magical Girl such a maneuver would have left her with deep albeit inconsequential scratches, but her new armor could easily resist several hits from a rifle. The only thing she felt was the light impact of the floor as she rolled into a prone position, aiming with her rifle as she did.

Target, fifteen feet to the right: a tall, muscular man with a red crosshair painted over his face by her visor. A targeting laser on her weapon told her where to aim, and Honoka complied without hesitation.
>>
>>34323024
You can beat the CRUNCH TRAIN
with LOVE.
>>
>>34322294
> say nothing
pinky doesn't know the golden wepones can kill her in our hands.
>>
(7/11)
She squeezed the trigger. A burst of fire from her rifle smashed through the soldier's helmet and face, throwing him to the floor. Another man landed in her sights and she dropped him, too. A third appeared, his assault rifle roaring, and Honoka rolled to her left avoid the oncoming hail of death, the weather-beaten lamp table behind her shredding into splinters. A stray bullet smacked into her right shoulder guard--grunting at what felt like hard punch into her flesh--and it sparked as it left a dent in her armor.

Honoka had dived into a small hallway, one that connected a set of stairs to the living room on the first floor. There was no cover to be found, nothing to put between herself and the third soldier save backing further away towards the stairway. Rolling into a sitting position with her rifle readied, she scrambled backwards while laying down shots of her own, hoping to keep her foe's head down and buy her space to get into cover. As it turned out, however, what was meant to be a potshot became a kill shot, as she instinctively followed her armor's aiming software and landed a clean hit on the man's neck. He crumpled to the floor in a boneless heap.

Silence. Silence punctuated only by the growl of her armor joints.

As quickly as it had begun, it had ended. Honoka sat still, recovering from the unfamiliar rush of power-armored combat. Though the sounds of boots stamping and an engine roaring started to cut their way into the dusty little house, the red-haired Vindicare only noticed the sound of her pounding, beating heart.

She let out the breath she'd been holding.

Her recon drone blipped and alerted her of twelve humanoid heat-signatures and one vehicle signature moving towards her position. Groaning, Honoka stood up, the dust that had layered the floor wafting from her armor, and as she walked up the stairway to the second floor she considered her next move.
>>
>>34323063
Not only are you WAY too late, but since she created the things, its pretty likely she does (or at the very least suspects).
>>
>>34323063
Are you the guy on mobil? because you're 22 minutes late.
>>
>>34322770
Sorry, Decu!
>>
(8/11)
Outnumbered as she was thirteen to one, none of the options she could think of made her particularly happy.

-

In the end, she chose to get a little creative.

By then, the twelve remaining soldiers had closed in. Dividing themselves into three squads of four, each man covered another as they moved in lock-step discipline, from building to building and cover to cover. One squad in particular reached the house she was in, and Honoka had no desire to be on the receiving end of a professional breach-and-entry.

Letting her visor's targeting systems do the heavy lifting--she was already starting to rely on its aiming systems--Honoka popped off a shot that badly winged a soldier from the other squads, sending the rest his squadmates scurrying for cover. Then she sprinted away from the window to another one, one she knew was directly above the back door the breaching squad was about to use, and leapt, getting the drop on them.

Literally.

The four had stacked up along the wall near the door, all of them to the door's right: the classic pattern for a safe, methodical breach. As she fell, she landed heavily on the rearmost soldier, then slung out her rifle and emptied her magazine into the rest.

Bodies jerked and twitched as rifle rounds tore them to pieces. One managed to let off a wild burst, a reflex twitch from a dying finger. A glance under her told Honoka the fourth soldier didn't survive having a heavily armored Magical Girl land on top of him.

Nine more to go.

There was no time to waste--she could already hear the sound of eight pairs of boots trampling the earth. Sending her recon drone out to scout out the incoming enemy, she jammed the spent magazine into a pocket and slammed a new one home. The Vindicare was sliding the charging handle, loading a fresh round into the rifle chamber, when an alert went off in her visor.

<Warning. Enemy detected.>
>>
(9/11)
Crosshairs painted the pair of gunmen that were flanking her. They were leaning around the corner of the house, using the wall as cover, one man crouched and the other man standing. Twin barrels leveled their black gaze, promising a storm of metal that would tear her apart even through her armor, or at least cripple her enough to be easily finished off.

'Shit they're fast--'

Honoka threw herself to the right, back into the house she'd reaved clean of life. Most of the shots went wide, but a few left dents on the armor guarding her ribs.

Her mind raced as she picked herself back off the floor. There had been only two men firing, but she heard much more than just two pairs of boots. No doubt the other six were here; Honoka guessed the rest stayed back to give the first two soldiers a clear shot at her, maybe even left a few on the other side of the building to keep her from escaping.

This, mused Honoka, was why she hated taking on professionals.

She switched to her audio-trackers, trying to pinpoint enemy locations by sound. Vibrations from their footsteps told her they were stacking up on the door. Given their hesitation in entering, she guessed one of them was priming a grenade.

Her mind was racing. Viable options were rapidly decreasing. If she charged out the door, they'd pump her full of lead. If she stayed, the grenade would surely at least stun her, armor or no, maybe even blow her to pieces. If she retreated further into the house, she had no doubts the soldiers at the back of the house would move in, cutting her off and bringing her back to square one..

What do I do? She thought. What do I do? What do I do?

-What do I do?-
>>
>>34322902
Special effects.

GAZE UPON ME YE SUBORDINATES AND DESPAIR.
THIS IS THE TRUE FACE OF YOUR WARMASTER.
>>
(10/11)
Instinct decided for her. Vindicare training, beaten into her over the course of four brutal years of killing gangsters and Witches alike, sent her blurring into action. She tore a frag grenade from her pouch and tossed it out the door. Its pin remained unremoved--the grenade was just a decoy, to get the soldiers to hesitate while she made a run for the stairs.

She got to the very top when the air behind her was torn apart by a swarm of bullets. Armor enhancements meant she was too fast to be in the line of fire for long, but she felt a round glance off the back of her helmet.

There was nothing for it. She couldn't hold the second floor by herself, not with eight heavily-armed veterans coming after her. In yet another bout of defenestration, Honoka leapt out of a second-story window.

There was a brief, fleeting moment, one stretched out into an eternity by the adrenaline flooding her veins, when she felt like she was flying.

Then the dusty earth smashed into her like an oncoming tank.

Haste had diminished her control over her armor. She'd leapt too hard, too far out. Her shock at how far she'd jumped meant she smashed into the ground, driving the breath out of her lungs. She was coughing, gasping, struggling for air when her visor beeped out a warning.

<Alert. Vehicle-class heat signature detected.>

Sputtering, she looked up. She realized she had precisely one second.

Precisely one second to realize there was an IFV parked not forty feet away from her. One second to realize its light cannon had been aimed at the two-story house she'd been in, and now it had finished drawn a bead on her. One long, painful second to realize that she was going to die, and there was nothing she could do about it.

-
>>
(11/11)
It was quick, at least. Her shiny new armor, fresh from the forges of the Fourth Officio, could withstand multiple impacts from a rifle at close range, and against sidearms she was practically invulnerable. It made her faster and stronger, beyond the magical enhancements already bestowed upon her by an alien race beyond human comprehension, and it came with a suite of auxiliary systems that was the dream of any soldier.

But against an autocannon that could murder armored vehicles, she might as well have been naked.

The first round pulverized her torso, the second tore away her hip. Those wounds alone would have killed her in less than a minute, even with her magically enhanced body, but the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth ensured she wasn't going to survive the next second.

After the seventh, the IFV went still, and a dead calm took hold over the battlefield.

-

The dust of a corpse-town swirled around Honoka Iwakura's remains.

Her severed hand, laying palm-up on a pile of broken glass, twitched once, twice, then went still as its dying nerves spasmed one last time in death-throes. Dry earth drank in the blood spilling from her ruptured corpse until it became wine-dark. The soldiers, as unceremonious as Honoka's demise, approached the shredded body and confirmed their kill before moving off.

And then the simulation ended.

-

Chapter IV END

-

As always, many, many thanks to Deculture for letting me write and post this.

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/uSgqEXSg
>>
>>34322902
Probably by collapsing to the floor and possibly vomiting more blood.

If Pinky allowed it we could get Midori to illusion it away before the timestop ends but Pinky would probably not allow it.
>>
>>34322662
Thanks for running!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Magical%20Girl%20Noir%20Quest

Thread has been archived and updated!

I don't think all hope is lost.
>>
>>34323124
eh, just make a joke about how our drinking's finally caught up to us
>>
>>34323168
Thanks for writing. Hekate's my kinda gal.
>>
>>34323124

"Ewww, blood puke! ...Wait, good song title!"
>>
>>34323237
So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how badly did we screw up overall?
>>
>>34323216
Ha, I'm glad someone found the /u/bot funny!

Thank you for reading!
>>
>>34323237
We were also electrocuted while puking blood, so does that mean we were bloodrocuted?
>>
>>34323049
I just can't imagine the consequences of when Heather decides to stop ignoring her feelings and starts following them, which this training will probably end up at. She might even rival Kharn in her ferocity in bed. There will be full-hour metal ballads sung about her exploits which end up with a girl having to be carried out by a team of venenum in the morning, completely broken and unable to move, but oh so very satisfied.
>>
>>34323237
Is green hair still the danger?
>>
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>>34323237
>>
>>34323283
also, http://en.inkei.net/vagina/a/HEATHER_CRUNCH!random_magical_girl!20140822
>>
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>>34322811

This, pretty much! >>34322947

>>34323102

Hahaha, it's okay, it's great!

>>34323256

5! It was a good thing you didn't lie!

>>34323267

Hahaha! That's awesome!
>>
>>34323335
Honesty is the best policy~
>>
>>34323335
Oh? Out of curiosity, what would have happened had we lied?
>>
>>34323335
>5! It was a good thing you didn't lie!
Whelp. We know nothing /tg/.
>>
>>34323286

It will always be the danger?

>>34323389

Hahaha, that's a secret!
>>
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Decu has left the building, usual questions, comments, whatever!
>>
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>>34323450
>Hahaha, that's a secret!
I'm reading it in his voice.
>>
>>34323558
So what was Wendy doing during the ceremony?
>>
>>34323558
Is there an annual summit between all of the Incubators and their Warmasters that we will have to attend?
Like bickering regional directors being called back to the Home Office to present their annual earnings reports?
Does this meeting take place on the Moon?
>>
>>34323558
How many years ago was the warmaster before Kharn in power and how long were they in power for?
>>
>>34323582
masturbating furiously callidus stuff
>>
>>34323582
Plotting Midori's death, taking her place, warming Chiaki's bed... You know, the usual.
>>
>>34323582
Behaving herself. Observing Chiaki in a professional environment when Midori isn't fucking it up for her.

>>34323587
We've discussed something along these lines, yes! How it would actually be carried out, not sure.

>>34323620
Vintage was the Warmaster during MalalQuest, and I imagine Kharn didn't exactly become Warmaster overnight then, either. I'd say Kharn hadn't been Warmaster for long during Kharnquest way back when, and Vintage had the mantle ~3 1/2 to 4 years ago.
As for how long she held it before then...I have no specific confirmation here but probably a good while.
>>
>>34323703
Who was Vintages equerry during her term? Did Vintage recommend Malal to be recruited in the first when Malal was offered the chance?
>>
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>>34323703
>How it would actually be carried out
Maybe like this?
>>
>>34323703
I am probably several years late to this, but I recently realized Kyuu is 9 in japanese and Juu is 10, Kyuubey being the 9th in this and Juubey from Kazumi being the 10th I assume, do all the other incubators follow this naming scheme?
>>
>>34323750
This is a very good question, actually. Malal has, to my recollection, been headhunted for the First, but held no interest whatsoever.

Not sure about Vintage's equerry - probably nobody that's still around.
>>
>>34323788
Almost all of them, at least, have names related to the number of their Officio. You might argue that adopting something like that is what passes for Incubator humor.
>>
>>34323815
Steppin' in for the 'official' answer to this one before we fall off the board.

Using the number-naming is traditional among the incubators, so those that pick other names are considered the out-liers.
>>
>>34323790
How would you comment on the suggestions that Vintage is this timelines Homura? After all, Madoka turned out to be older and with a different name in this one.
>>
>>34323956
Certainly seems possible.
>>
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>>34324025
>possible

CONFIRMED.
>>
>>34324072
I'd prefer it to be the filthy assistant, just for everyone's reactions in and out of the quest.
>>
>>34324100
But... But we already know who filthy assistant is...
>>
>>34324025
Thank you for replying! The defence has not further questions.
>>
>>34324115
I know. But just imagine that this timeline's Homura was actually Noriko the whole time.
Just imagine Dildos's "What."
>>
>>34324072
Makes sense
>>
>>34324163
>The Karasawas are secretly a bunch of different Homus

The plot thickens. Just like Enishi.
>>
>>34324072
Man this raises so many questions if it is true.

Like what this timeline's Homura's wish was, how she became a 1st Officio badass without (or maybe with?) time powers, whether or not she has interacted with Pinky/TNO, and about whether or not she knew we or Malal existed.
>>
Dildoes says green hair is the danger.
Pinky says Dildoes is a liar.
Ergo green hair is the safety.
Flawless logic.
>>
>>34324241
But Pinky wants to kill Yuma for what she did, and Pinky wouldn't mind too much if Midori died.
Maybe what everyone is trying to say is "Green hair is IN danger"
>>
>>34324194
I was wondering if anyone remembered this.
>>
>>34324283
You never forget the fat.
>>
>>34324212
Hmm... there is also the black shieldmaiden cult thing.

Fuck I need the next thread.
>>
>>34324283
So how many attempts had there been to take Murderfaces profile picture? I imagine she was getting drunk on appointments for one until they eventually succeeded.
>>
>>34324363
I now have the mental image of Chiaki coming in so plastered that she things the camera is Wendy and she tries to find the Camera's butt, and Sayaka is nearby with her cell out recording it.
>>
>>34324363
Enough for Mami to give her That Look that she's terrified of getting.
>>
>>34324452
>One more tap, and they're replaced, respectively, with the word 'Warmaster' - and a stolen shot of you scratching your ass in an interview booth.

So who can we blamethank for this?
>>
File: i came here to nyaa.png (390 KB, 598x436)
390 KB
390 KB PNG
>>34324519
Probably.
>>
So, all in all, this is still a pretty successful ratification ceremony, right? At least, so far,
>>
>>34324631
Since we haven't passed out shitfaced on the floor, I'd say so.
>>
>>34324631
We're only spitting blood in timestop, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
We'll just pass it off as being allergic to dildos, and that it was naturally going to happen when we became their emperor.



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