>>34183552

>In dungeon.
>Find room that is basically a barracks for some hobgoblins
>Each of the beds has a little, 2' by 2' by 1' IIRC footlocker/chest.
>Search them.
>One is trapped.
>Spear comes shooting out at rogue from the chest.
>You mean like, when I open the chest it comes out of the wall or something, a spear couldn't fit in that chest.
>DM looks funny for a moment, and then says "it's a compressed spear".

It has become a minor meme in our group.

> Create plothook.
> Plan to have NPC show up to give intel to PCs and let them know what is going on.
> PCs do their own investigatan, figure out all the intel on their own, go ahead and do the mission without ever meeting up with the NPC.
> ". . . well, shit, this NPC is supposed to be an important contact for them. . ."
> Have NPC show up huffing and puffing for breath.
> "PCs! The boss sent me here to tell you the bad guy is holed up in a warehouse at the docks!"
> Thus begin the adventures of Karen the Always Too Late, who shows up to give critical intel a few minutes after it would have been useful.

bump for some more stories.

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In our homebrew modernish setting, there is one continent that is basically Japan not as weeaboo as it sounds, I promise and one day several years ago one of our group corrected us and said that "katana" is the plural of katana. He then used the example that his character, who was from this continent, would "draw both katana" rather than draw both katanas.

Almost every time we see this continent now, someone at some point finds an excuse to "draw both katana" - and no, this isn't a setting where everyone and their kid brother carries one for no apparent reason. This has been taken to ridiculous extremes - we've used statues of a warrior having drawn both katana, actors drawing both prop katana, heads-of-state and government figures drawing both ceremonial katana, and countless others.

I usually play rogue or some equivalent because sneaky shit is fun and this game was no exception. We were in a very large, mostly-walled city that was open to the sea; the main dock areas had big ships and were tightly-patrolled, but the smaller dock areas were almost residential and had a lot of fishing huts and shit. There was apparently some kind of secret socity/pseudo-cult on the loose (it was a game with a fair bit of intrigue) and we were trying to discretely get some information.

Cue early twilight, the sun had just gone down and the sky was dark except along the horizon. The main party was off in the center of the city getting some intel from the market, inns, &c. I was stalking around the residential docks. I broke into a few fishing huts and mostly saw the usual shit like tackleboxes, nets, shit like that. One had a cot in it and had a "box of prawn" under it. However, our DM was a notoriously lazy speller and had spelt it "pron" in his notes, which led to him almost saying "box of porn" ("box of porn--PRAWN").

The table fucking lost their shit and so the box of porn became a notorious thing amongst us. DM actually turned it into a whole sidequest involving finding the suspect who had left their box of lewd papers hidden in the docks, either using it to find a member of the cult or blackmail someone.

Games later...:
"The bazaar has many things for sale like tools, seafood, and weapons."
"Is the seafood scanitly-clad?"
"You're never gonna let that go, are you?"

>>34187206
*society

>A walking fortress
>Wherever the nomads go, each carries with them a large stone brick
>When they set up camp, they erect the fortress walls around them.

>>34187206
Fucking golden

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>>34183635

The spears in my chests just come out of the ground. I'm really surprised my PCs haven't started trying to lift the chests to check for that yet.


From my last session, not exactly a fuck up but more for a "oh shit I didn't realize they might be able to do that..."

>I detect evil
>Ok roll
>Highest roll possible
>At this check, you and all your allies can basically wall hack and see evil within 180'
>"Well you see (all this shit I was trying to hide cleverly), and you know that deep pit of water? At the bottom there is a many limbed horror lurking in the darkness."

Players noped the fuck out because they had been just derping around in the water for a while before that.

>>34186498

That's pretty great lol.

>lmao 2katana

I have one
>accidently say that a npc is wearing a t-shirt when describing him in a medfan universe
>t-shirts are now the new hot thing in the capital and it's just a cool way of saying tunics.

>>34187441
dark elves in my games all where sunglasses for similar reasons

>>34187256
Nah, it was the sort of a mechanical fortress that walked on its own legs.

On a related note, I'm not sure this was a fuck-up at all, but:
>The goliath in question was trained in smithing by this very old and very grumpy dwarf that had never complimented her any
>She's now almost literally a demigoddess and one of the best smiths in the setting
>Show him the hammer she made
>"Hmm... well, it's all right work." (The best compliment he's ever given)
>(OOC) "You know the hammer I'm showing him, right? The artifact-level awesome thing?"
>DM: "Yes."

She then proceeded to show him a bunch of other shit:
>A dragon crown that the dwarves forged thousands of years ago, basically the One Ring except as a crown that can command all dragons everywhere: "Aye, made for a decent piece of ornament for this one human emperor."
>A piece of a magical orrery that could literally rip open the planar fabrics and set loose an army of demons from hell: "Oh yes, I have read of this one: a nice piece of toy we made for the young king a while back, came out decently I think."
>The goddamn Mjolnir: "Enough to get that one fire-eyed motherfucker off our backs I guess."

>>34187378

What system were you playing that Detect Evil has a roll?

>>34187495
Do they also ride 106 miles to Waterdeep, have full tanks of gas and half packs of cigarettes?

>>34187531
eventually that was the PCs

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>>34187525

This glorious shit.

>>34187614
Play that shit with some of my bros, such a tight and beautiful system.

>>34188075

Yeah, it can get a bit bogged down in early levels but man it's so sexy for dungeon crawls.

When I started my new 2nd edition AD&D campaign I undercut the price of identification by waay too much. It had been years since I looked in the manual, so I just used computer AD&D games as a guide and spat out '100 gold' when the players asked the tiny gnome illusionist a price.

They argued him down to 50.

Later I checked my books and realized it should have been 1000 minimum.

I began to see the fallout of my error as they started saving every item to bring to him; it was so cost effective that even once the party wizard found an identify spell he deemed it better to use the gnome's resources. They wouldn't even consider testing an unidentified item when it was so cheap and easy to learn its true nature.

I handled the issue many sessions later through means of a spell cast by a rival; the gnome had been cursed with an enchantment that prevented him from accurately judging value for services. Rather than demand the money he was due for what had been a fair transaction on their end, he convinced the party to track down the rival necromancer who cast the spell.

Coincidentally, signs pointed to this being the same necromancer who organized the skeletal army that attacked the town earlier that session. The wizard had unwittingly given them the location they needed to handle that problem as well.

There's an issue this time that I placed purposefully as a hint the Necromancer wasn't working alone. The party didn't catch it. Do any of you see it?

>>34187614

>32+
>Hungry bears are pained by the light of truth

>>34188267

I might be derping at this hour: But is it about the fact that a necromancer with an army prone on destruction probably wouldn't give two fucks about one wizard gnome diviner's monetary affairs, and therefore the necromancer must have been hired on the job in exchange of something (I would assume resources/alliances would be the best payment you could give a necromancer) ?

>>34187614
what game is this...?

>>34189557
Dungeon Crawl Classic

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>>34187404

>Include some family members in backstory.
>Plot hook about evil sister arrested by paladins
>Later meet a young female dragon
>DM gave her same name as sister
>Me: "Did you forget the sister in my backstory?"
>DM: "Yeah...one sec..."
>Dragon explains that she's my sister, paladin attempt to forcibly make her good turned her into a dragon by accident.

>>34190336
Why did you say anything
More than one creature in the multiverse can have the same name

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>>34190336
>Two people can't have the same name
I mean ffs, I once showed up to a pirate campaign where half the players and NPCs were legitimately named "Schmitty"

>>34190665
>>34190704
Because the Dm was already complaining about there being three players with almost the same name, plus the sister from the backstory, and then the dragon showed up and we players were all amused by it. Asked him if he forgot mostly as a joke, but he ran with it and it was fun.

>>34187522
I'm not sure if I would love that smith or hate him.

>>34187206
But was it prawn porn?

>>34187614
>>34189885
Isn't that the same system where critting on a Knock spell throws open every door, bottle of wine, shoelace, and magical portal in a few mile radius? Goddamn, that sounds fun.

>>34183552
I'd prefer the GM not making shitty snap decisions. Walking fortress isn't exactly a great save in my opinion.

>>34192877
Well, as long as everyone involved is having fun.

>>34192967
>Well, as long as everyone involved is having fun.
This. This is how good games happen. It may make no sense, it may have been an off-the-cuff save, but it worked well enough and everyone had a good time.

>>34188603

I feel sorry for the bear that realises it's only eating humans because it's stressed and needs to deal with its problems instead of eating as a distraction.

>>34183552
I've been a GM for most of my Table-top playing life, and I know I've made my share of mistakes. As a GM, I tend to improvise my games and it does lead into some inconsistencies. My players are smart enough to catch them and question me on them. I have gotten into the habit of simply answering there questions with "Good Question". With that response, they want to investigate and the campaign begins anew deeper into the rabbit hole. Until they get some answers. This way while I'm not admitting a mistake, I'm taking the players feedback and adjusting the campaign to it.

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>>34193089
The result of a bear needing therapy

>>34192877

You sound like a massive faggot. Like, in all seriousness, the biggest faggot I have seen in weeks. I see a lot of faggots every day, but are the one who I will remember for at least a week whenever I try to think of "the biggest faggot" I can mentally compare someone to.

I have no doubt you will win for quite some time. Please consider suicide.

>>34192877
>I prefer the GM not be creative. I just want to play a videogame.

>>34192877
>I'd prefer the GM not making shitty snap decisions
You clearly either keep your players on a horrendously tight railroad, or have never GMed. Get out.

>>34193896
>>34194482
I'm not saying a GM shouldn't/doesn't need to improvise, I just think that a poorly thought out spur of the moment idea isn't something that should be incorporated into a game.
>>34193451
Thanks for explaining how you disagree with me in a rational, well thought out manner instead of exploding and telling me I should commit suicide because of my opinions on how a role playing game should be run.

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>>34191811
Implicitly, it also unhooks all bras in range as well.

>>34190819
What would the LA for a character who starts polymorphed into a dragon be? All you lose is the breath weapon and maybe caster levels depending on how your DM wants to handle the massive bullshit of monstrous PCs. Compared to spell resistance, a fly speed, damage reduction, frightful presence, etc. is loss of spell like and supernatural abilities enough to change the LA?

>>34193117
>Good Question

I use that too. Filling in gaps of logic that way has led to some of the best sessions I've run

>>34183927
That's actually fantastic. That's a pretty good way of making the players feel important and shit.

>>34198485
I answer all questions this way, unless the character has actually learned the answer in the past.

>>34188646
Nah, in 2nd edition specialist mages had fixed oppositional schools. A Necromancer couldn't cast illusion or ENCHANTMENT spells. None. Couldn't even use wands or scrolls of them. Since he couldn't have done the gnome's whammy himself, it means he has a buddy.

>>34198656
Correct. In this case, a red dragon who helped the necromancer with with his petty revenge scheme in exchange for helping him cause some turmoil in the region. The invasion was just one part of the dragon's long term plot to recapture its dwarf-infested ancestral home.

>>34197726
Also opens envelopes, unpastes stamps, unclasps cloaks, unzips flies (realistically, they'd be laced or something), unbuckles belts and collars, unbraids hair (and beards if applicable), expels dentures and glass eyes, and God help you if you're clenching your sphincter.

>>34195197
>I'm not saying a GM shouldn't/doesn't need to improvise, I just think that a GM shouldn't/doesn't need to improvise

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>>34192877
>Walking fortress isn't exactly a great save in my opinion.

>>34198656
Ah, but the Bestow Curse spell is an ABJURATION.

My players pointed out that I always name every unnamed NPC the same way (Bob and Jimmy)... And always the one called Jimmy dies horribly.
Now I present you, Timmy and Bob, the CR 1/2 pluriemployed NPCs who are trying to pay off Jimmy' regular resurrections. They are basically the Biggs & Wedges from Final Fantasy now

Nos I

>>34201831
That's a legitimate point, and on re-reading the spell, fits well with the scenario. I'll have to revise my notes.

Ah well, 'tis for the best. Our mistakes, and how we play off them, is the purpose of this thread after all. Thanks for helping me realize my error; better in /tg than mid-session.

'tis from an old game, from back when both I and my players were children (around 12, I think?), 3e D&D

>after some mundane questing the usual contact asks PCs to do some blackopsing, getting rid of a rebel base basicly
>The city is a big trading point, many adventurers and wanderers come through there, so they have a whole bulletin board system for odd jobs I was 12 and played too much jRPGs, sue me
>The contact tells PCs to take his note down, says they'll recognize his signature by now
>"Wait, why would an illegal job have an official job note?"
>The contact just pats at the description on the note
>"Basement cleaning for elderly inhabitants"

It was snap, it was dumb but I still remember it.

>>34200701
>how's

>Going through goblin fortresss
>Enter sleeping area
>"Do I detect magic"
>DM says no
>Later we search the room and find a CLW scroll under a sheet on the ground
>"...I put my +1 magic dagger underneath the bedsheet. Do I detect magic from the bedsheet?"
>DM realizes he fucked up
>Says no

>For the rest of the campaign, my gnome walked around wrapped in a soiled goblin bedsheet because he claims it keeps other mages from reading his mind

>>34203580
Did it give you magic resistance?

Playing Dark Heresy as a noble arbiter who was honestly a rogue trader in the making, and we get sent to a world with weird tech-cult happenings.

BBEG is a logic Demon in a Dreadnought, it made itself from a dreadnought forge in it's main base.

Melta the shit out of it and curbstomp it becuase the arbiters #1 skill is taking out armoured targets and I have support and sneaked into the main base, bypassing most defences.

Check the forge, it was used to make a dreadnought, and the DM says "roll tech-use, and then technomat to see how much of the forges Data and dreadnought construction data you can save before the whole place goes up in flames"

Straight up burn two fate points and save all the data for the dreadnought, and the data on how to make the forge.

Eventually be rich enough to buy a small forge and hire some tech-priests, and get them to make dreadnoughts for me in secret.

Hire a whole team of them to scrimshaw the whole thing in litanies of protection, technomat it to 'best quality' and get the church to bless it like 1000 times with 10 purity seals and the best weapons money can buy

Give them to the Deathwatch (we're ordo xenos) and get insanely good disposition with them.

Be on first name basis with the sector commander of the Deathwatch, and a few marines.

Still gift them dreadnoughts when I have the money to put into the secret forge.

>>34187495
>Not having your paladin incorporate the drow-sunglasses while detecting evil. So he can wear his sunglasses at knight, so he can watch you weave and breathe your storied lies

>>34204107
Broest of Brokind in the Bromerium

>>34204595
Honestly I didn't do it for the disposition, we just kept getting messages about Deathwatch people dying and equipment and geneseed being lost so my character was like "shiiiiit, better do something or they'll lose the sector"

at this point they have like 12 Dreadnoughts in the sector

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>>34204718
>at this point they have like 12 Dreadnoughts in the sector

bump

>>34192967
>>34193451
>>34193896
>>34194482
>>34200701
The player in question obviously had a backstory with enough detail that it bothered her when the ST ignored it. This save basically does the same thing. She didn't ever have a walking fortress in her backstory, it's not what she had in mind for her nomadic dwarf culture.

While yes, "it's a nomadic fortress" is a clever save, and funny, and even fits into most settings with Dwarves, it still is just a handwave and a brush off that rewrites a character's backstory without permission instead of actually admitting he fucked up.

>>34193451
Shut up and stop being a twit. Using faggot four times in a row makes you sound like a 12 year old.

>>34199353
No, what Anon said is that the GM shouldn't improvise poorly. There's a difference.

>>34191811
>unbraids hair (and beards if applicable)
>and beards
All dwarves in said several mile radius immediately swear oaths of undying enmity against the caster.

>come up with decent idea for a quest/plotline, nothing too railroad-y, just a few carrots placed in convenient places I suspect the party will run.
>Turns out I am very wrong. Within about ten sessions and one level, they've killed/set on fire/ignored/wormholed/alloftheabove'd all the carrots. Somewhere on the scale of half a Henderson.
>Try to keep up with their antics. Gotta think of something to, i dunno, get them on board with even a suggestion of a quest, instead of them calling down every power in existence on their heads.
>Idea. Not a good one, but still. Send Future Them to deal with them(just like them, but double their levels.[lvl 4's]). Future Them tells them that if they keep going like this, they will endanger reality. Future Them has been sent to stop them by any means.
>Through a series of crazy rolls, they CONVINCE Future Them to team up with them, and "Fight the Powah." Jesus Fuck what do I do now?
>Another group of Future Them, this time with all sorts of gear to help them resist temptation, and they're even higher level(10s). This can't happen again. Right?
>It happens again, courtesy of the dice wanting to see what's down the damned rabbit hole.
>Fine, fuck it. Powers in the Shadows, Imperium, Fucking Barnabus, the ORB. All gunning for them. Through teamwork, determination, and crazy dice rolls, the defeat everything I throw their way.
>They're having a blast the entire time. This is about the time I say "Fuck it, now I'm curious."
>They start trying to fight the universe itself, and wind up becoming aware of the fourth wall. Combining their powers, they force the fourth wall to become personified. They then beat the everloving hell out of it.
>They become aware of their players, and they become aware of the GM who's TRULY behind the trouble they went through.
>Final battle is them fighting me. I manage to "erase" their future selves, but then the dice turn on me, and they stomp me.
>Am thanked for an awesome game.

>>34210353

Well, it was awesome.

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>>34210353

Screencapped.

>>34210353
I would've wanted to play in that game.